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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated The Fate of the Furious (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
Blood is thicker than Diesel.
All work and no play makes bob-the-movie-man a tardy reviewer. Still, what better way to break the fast than with “Fast and Furious 8” (aka “The Fate of the Furious”)?
Well, quite a lot of things actually!
Now, I have a confession to make (and I know for some this will be the equivalent of an appalling statement like “I’ve never seen Star Wars”). I have actually never ever seen Fast and Furious 1 through 7! (If it’s any mitigation to this cinematic crime, I did see the F-and-F wannabe “Need for Speed“).
So I was going to be completely lost with the “plot” right? Well actually, no. It was pretty easy to jump in and follow as a piece of popcorn nonsense.
The M25 water main burst was a real bitch for the Monday morning rush-hour.
For nonsense it is (hence the “rabbit ears” round the word “plot” above). The story isn’t just a bit far-fetched. It’s bat-shit crazy where the bat in question has downed a questionable vindaloo two hours earlier!
Dom (Vin Diesel) has turned on his “family”, including his squeeze, the lovely Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), and Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson, “San Andreas“), to team with the above-the-law (and above the clouds) cyber-super-terrorist Cipher (Charlize Theron, “Mad Max: Fury Road“). They have teamed up, apparently, for no other reason than to allow Cipher to ‘kick some global ass’ with a nuclear threat. But given his caring and sharing side, why the sudden betrayal of his nearest and dearest by Dom?
Ice Queen Metallica fan Theron, showing off her hardware.
Where do you begin with the nonsensical story? Jumping from Cuba (with some admittedly fun scenes, but shamelessly objectifying scantily-clad women) via Berlin and New York to the icy wastes of Siberia, it’s just an excuse to show fast cars doing ludicrously unlikely things. There is zero logic within any of the script. Here are just a handful of examples:
the team know (through enormous jumps of speculation) to be present at a particular location in the world and at exactly the time that Dom is there (arrive, look through binoculars, “Oh, there he is”!);
all cars can be automatically hijacked and remotely driven (who knew), but NOT those of the team (obviously);
fast cars/tanks/etc can be magicked from New York to Siberia (wot, no Hertz Siberia available?);
Russian nuclear codes are stolen, so obviously they can’t be changed?
a nuclear submarine is out of the water on wooden blocks, but spin the propeller really REALLY fast and it can suddenly be sailing away.
Muscle for muscle it never looked like being a fair fight.
I appreciate I am being enormously po-faced about this, and this is designed as pure escapism. But is there REALLY any need for this to be such mindless escapism? The director (Gary Gray, “The Italian Job”) and writer (Chris Morgan, responsible for parts 6 and 7) should credit their audience with rather more in the way of intelligence.
Diesel and Johnson are never going to set the acting ablaze, but Rodriquez (“Lost”) is as watchable as ever. Theron has fun with her villainy and the supporting turns by Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris are enjoyable. Nathalie Emmanuel though as Ramsey seems as uncomfortable with her “sexy English” stereotype as she should be.
A long way from Brookside. Nathalie Emmanuel uncomfortable as “the sexy one”.
Luke Evans (“The Hobbit“), Kurt Russell (“Deepwater Horizon“) and Helen Mirren (“Eye in the Sky“) turn up in entertaining but underused cameos, but it is Jason Statham as Deckard that has the most fun in the whole film, and his scenes – done largely for comic effect – are the best part of the movie. (But “math” Jason? “MATH”?? I hope your old maths teacher back in London doesn’t get to see this film).
Parking enforcement by the City Council was getting more and more stringent.
If you’re willing to park your brain at the door for two hours then it has some fun moments. But I felt the damage to my IQ might not have been worth the risk, and this really didn’t fill my cinematic tank.
Well, quite a lot of things actually!
Now, I have a confession to make (and I know for some this will be the equivalent of an appalling statement like “I’ve never seen Star Wars”). I have actually never ever seen Fast and Furious 1 through 7! (If it’s any mitigation to this cinematic crime, I did see the F-and-F wannabe “Need for Speed“).
So I was going to be completely lost with the “plot” right? Well actually, no. It was pretty easy to jump in and follow as a piece of popcorn nonsense.
The M25 water main burst was a real bitch for the Monday morning rush-hour.
For nonsense it is (hence the “rabbit ears” round the word “plot” above). The story isn’t just a bit far-fetched. It’s bat-shit crazy where the bat in question has downed a questionable vindaloo two hours earlier!
Dom (Vin Diesel) has turned on his “family”, including his squeeze, the lovely Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), and Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson, “San Andreas“), to team with the above-the-law (and above the clouds) cyber-super-terrorist Cipher (Charlize Theron, “Mad Max: Fury Road“). They have teamed up, apparently, for no other reason than to allow Cipher to ‘kick some global ass’ with a nuclear threat. But given his caring and sharing side, why the sudden betrayal of his nearest and dearest by Dom?
Ice Queen Metallica fan Theron, showing off her hardware.
Where do you begin with the nonsensical story? Jumping from Cuba (with some admittedly fun scenes, but shamelessly objectifying scantily-clad women) via Berlin and New York to the icy wastes of Siberia, it’s just an excuse to show fast cars doing ludicrously unlikely things. There is zero logic within any of the script. Here are just a handful of examples:
the team know (through enormous jumps of speculation) to be present at a particular location in the world and at exactly the time that Dom is there (arrive, look through binoculars, “Oh, there he is”!);
all cars can be automatically hijacked and remotely driven (who knew), but NOT those of the team (obviously);
fast cars/tanks/etc can be magicked from New York to Siberia (wot, no Hertz Siberia available?);
Russian nuclear codes are stolen, so obviously they can’t be changed?
a nuclear submarine is out of the water on wooden blocks, but spin the propeller really REALLY fast and it can suddenly be sailing away.
Muscle for muscle it never looked like being a fair fight.
I appreciate I am being enormously po-faced about this, and this is designed as pure escapism. But is there REALLY any need for this to be such mindless escapism? The director (Gary Gray, “The Italian Job”) and writer (Chris Morgan, responsible for parts 6 and 7) should credit their audience with rather more in the way of intelligence.
Diesel and Johnson are never going to set the acting ablaze, but Rodriquez (“Lost”) is as watchable as ever. Theron has fun with her villainy and the supporting turns by Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris are enjoyable. Nathalie Emmanuel though as Ramsey seems as uncomfortable with her “sexy English” stereotype as she should be.
A long way from Brookside. Nathalie Emmanuel uncomfortable as “the sexy one”.
Luke Evans (“The Hobbit“), Kurt Russell (“Deepwater Horizon“) and Helen Mirren (“Eye in the Sky“) turn up in entertaining but underused cameos, but it is Jason Statham as Deckard that has the most fun in the whole film, and his scenes – done largely for comic effect – are the best part of the movie. (But “math” Jason? “MATH”?? I hope your old maths teacher back in London doesn’t get to see this film).
Parking enforcement by the City Council was getting more and more stringent.
If you’re willing to park your brain at the door for two hours then it has some fun moments. But I felt the damage to my IQ might not have been worth the risk, and this really didn’t fill my cinematic tank.
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Zombieland (2009) in Movies
Jun 22, 2019
Columbus is a loner in every sense of the word. He usually spent his nights indoors playing World of Warcraft, so it's safe to say he probably didn't get out much. He wasn't even all that close to his family. So when the zombie apocalypse finally began to spread across the globe, Columbus already had an advantage over the majority of the population. In addition to that, Columbus had a lot of weird phobias (like clowns and those wet towels they use to wipe down tables at big restaurants). As his experience with the undead grew, so did his list of rules on how to survive in Zombieland. Columbus is on his way to Ohio, where his parents reside, hoping that by some miracle they're still alive. Before he can get very far, he runs into the first human face he's seen since the outbreak, Tallahassee. Tallahassee seems to be fearless, lives life in the moment, and worries about consequences later. His hatred for zombies bleeds through so much that his zombie killing ways are practically down to a fine art. What starts out as a potential ride to get him to his final destination could wind up being everything Columbus has ever wanted and that's a family that he feels comfortable with.
Zombieland somehow managed to breathe life into an aspect of horror I thought dried up along with George A. Romero's career and that's zombies. What started out as a fairly fresh idea has been milked dry with every situation going in every possibly way you could think of. You know Zombieland is going to be a bit different as soon as the movie begins. Columbus does a rundown of some of the most important rules he's learned while living in Zombieland leading up to the credits playing over slow-motion scenes of people being chased and eaten by zombies with "For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Metallica playing the entire time. The cinematography and the way the characters on screen interact with the letters in the opening credits is incredible. Blood splattering on the screen, glass shattering, and the way everything seems to be jumping out at you. To be honest, it's probably one of my favorite openings to any film ever.
Jesse Eisenberg's character Columbus immediately made me think of Michael Cera when I first saw the trailer. It's a role that's so similar to the roles he's played in the past and I found it kinda funny that a new trailer of Cera's was attached to this film. After that first reaction though, it didn't really bother me. In fact, the entire cast does an incredible job with the roles they play. Woody Harrelson is fantastic and steals a good portion of scenes as Tallahassee. With everything else going on, Tallahassee is on this quest to find a Twinkie and it's pretty hilarious watching him lose it whenever he can't find them. Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin as Wichita and Little Rock add more to the film when they're acting as a sisterly team rather than when they have scenes separately later on. Their cons are pretty spectacular and priceless in execution.
One of the most interesting factors of the film was something that made its way online two weeks before the film was even released. Zombieland originally started as a TV pilot. Before the cast we're familiar with now was set, Patrick Swayze was going to cameo as a zombie and there were several moments paying homage to Ghost that just sounded amazing and comical. They actually had several people in mind to cameo in the film. The actor they wound up going with is wonderful in their own right, gets plenty of screen time, and manages to steal quite a few laughs, but the Patrick Swayze zombie would've been just as good if not a bit better considering the circumstances.
The finale of the film that takes place in an amusement park is one of the best closing sequences to a zombie film ever. It's surprising no other zombie film has gone that route. The way the rides and carnival attractions are incorporated into zombie execution is marvelous in itself.
Zombieland is witty horror entertainment with a great cast and clever cinematography. A roller coaster ride you immediately want to ride again as soon as its over. What's surprising is it might just wind up being the best all around horror film to come out this year. As the tagline says, I strongly urge each and every one of you to "nut up or shut up."
Zombieland somehow managed to breathe life into an aspect of horror I thought dried up along with George A. Romero's career and that's zombies. What started out as a fairly fresh idea has been milked dry with every situation going in every possibly way you could think of. You know Zombieland is going to be a bit different as soon as the movie begins. Columbus does a rundown of some of the most important rules he's learned while living in Zombieland leading up to the credits playing over slow-motion scenes of people being chased and eaten by zombies with "For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Metallica playing the entire time. The cinematography and the way the characters on screen interact with the letters in the opening credits is incredible. Blood splattering on the screen, glass shattering, and the way everything seems to be jumping out at you. To be honest, it's probably one of my favorite openings to any film ever.
Jesse Eisenberg's character Columbus immediately made me think of Michael Cera when I first saw the trailer. It's a role that's so similar to the roles he's played in the past and I found it kinda funny that a new trailer of Cera's was attached to this film. After that first reaction though, it didn't really bother me. In fact, the entire cast does an incredible job with the roles they play. Woody Harrelson is fantastic and steals a good portion of scenes as Tallahassee. With everything else going on, Tallahassee is on this quest to find a Twinkie and it's pretty hilarious watching him lose it whenever he can't find them. Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin as Wichita and Little Rock add more to the film when they're acting as a sisterly team rather than when they have scenes separately later on. Their cons are pretty spectacular and priceless in execution.
One of the most interesting factors of the film was something that made its way online two weeks before the film was even released. Zombieland originally started as a TV pilot. Before the cast we're familiar with now was set, Patrick Swayze was going to cameo as a zombie and there were several moments paying homage to Ghost that just sounded amazing and comical. They actually had several people in mind to cameo in the film. The actor they wound up going with is wonderful in their own right, gets plenty of screen time, and manages to steal quite a few laughs, but the Patrick Swayze zombie would've been just as good if not a bit better considering the circumstances.
The finale of the film that takes place in an amusement park is one of the best closing sequences to a zombie film ever. It's surprising no other zombie film has gone that route. The way the rides and carnival attractions are incorporated into zombie execution is marvelous in itself.
Zombieland is witty horror entertainment with a great cast and clever cinematography. A roller coaster ride you immediately want to ride again as soon as its over. What's surprising is it might just wind up being the best all around horror film to come out this year. As the tagline says, I strongly urge each and every one of you to "nut up or shut up."