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Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated Ninja Assassin (2009) in Movies
Dec 2, 2019
Bland Characters Equals Meh Movie
A former member of a sect of secret ninjas escapes the clan, but has to fight for his life when the past catches up to him.
Acting: 4
I have seen paper bags act better than Rain the actor who plays main character Raizo. I think the screenwriters knew this and tried to mask his lack of chops with less lines, but it definitely didn’t work. He is as bland as the chicken I feed my dog when he has diarrhea. The rest of the crew isn’t terribly better and aren’t worth much of a mention.
Beginning: 10
The movie actually gets off to a great start. It starts off in a gangster hideout and an old man is giving one of the gangsters a tattoo. A letter shows up with black sand in it. Black sand is basically the kiss of death for these ninjas so it’s not too long after that bedlam ensues. Dope scene, got me excited to watch more.
Characters: 2
Cinematography/Visuals: 8
Conflict: 10
The action was also a plus. The beginning is definitely an indicator of things to come. You want crazy martial fighting? Check. Blood and gore? Blamo! Insane slowmo sequences? Coming right up. This is basically an action junkie’s wet dream. Actually, I think I’m giving it too much credit…
Entertainment Value: 7
Memorability: 7
Pace: 7
While I appreciate certain things like at least making an attempt at a backstory, there were other portions that slowed the movie down in a couple of spots. Like seriously, how much training do we need to see this dude do? A few rounds on the good ole speed bag will suffice for me, thanks. Nope, this dude is doing splits, using ninja swords, fighting air. I also thought they spent a bit too much time on the main detective Mika (Naomie Harris) researching the ninjas. Pretty painful, but mostly fine.
Plot: 8
I didn’t hate the story. As I mentioned above, it was cool that you got a look into Raizo’s earlier life in the ninja clan and what got him to where he was. Crappy character, but I appreciated the effort to develop him. While the story got sidetracked here and there, it got you from Point A to Point B fairly smoothly.
Resolution: 6
Overall: 69
What disappoints me most about Ninja Assassin is the sheer amount of potential it had. Because it didn’t invest in quality actors or working in characters we care about, there is little margin for error in the rest of the movie. It wants to be likable, yet it didn’t put in the work to earn your friendship. I do not recommend.
Acting: 4
I have seen paper bags act better than Rain the actor who plays main character Raizo. I think the screenwriters knew this and tried to mask his lack of chops with less lines, but it definitely didn’t work. He is as bland as the chicken I feed my dog when he has diarrhea. The rest of the crew isn’t terribly better and aren’t worth much of a mention.
Beginning: 10
The movie actually gets off to a great start. It starts off in a gangster hideout and an old man is giving one of the gangsters a tattoo. A letter shows up with black sand in it. Black sand is basically the kiss of death for these ninjas so it’s not too long after that bedlam ensues. Dope scene, got me excited to watch more.
Characters: 2
Cinematography/Visuals: 8
Conflict: 10
The action was also a plus. The beginning is definitely an indicator of things to come. You want crazy martial fighting? Check. Blood and gore? Blamo! Insane slowmo sequences? Coming right up. This is basically an action junkie’s wet dream. Actually, I think I’m giving it too much credit…
Entertainment Value: 7
Memorability: 7
Pace: 7
While I appreciate certain things like at least making an attempt at a backstory, there were other portions that slowed the movie down in a couple of spots. Like seriously, how much training do we need to see this dude do? A few rounds on the good ole speed bag will suffice for me, thanks. Nope, this dude is doing splits, using ninja swords, fighting air. I also thought they spent a bit too much time on the main detective Mika (Naomie Harris) researching the ninjas. Pretty painful, but mostly fine.
Plot: 8
I didn’t hate the story. As I mentioned above, it was cool that you got a look into Raizo’s earlier life in the ninja clan and what got him to where he was. Crappy character, but I appreciated the effort to develop him. While the story got sidetracked here and there, it got you from Point A to Point B fairly smoothly.
Resolution: 6
Overall: 69
What disappoints me most about Ninja Assassin is the sheer amount of potential it had. Because it didn’t invest in quality actors or working in characters we care about, there is little margin for error in the rest of the movie. It wants to be likable, yet it didn’t put in the work to earn your friendship. I do not recommend.
Dean (6924 KP) Dec 2, 2019
Phillip McSween (751 KP) Dec 3, 2019 (Updated Dec 3, 2019)