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Alpha (2018)
Alpha (2018)
2018 | Action, Drama, Thriller
Columbia Pictures new release Alpha stars Kodi Smit-McPhee as Keda, and
Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson) as Tau, his father.

Tau is the tribe leader, and must determine whether the young male tribe
members are ready for the annual hunt. He tests all the spear points
crafted by the boys, and passes or fails them based on the craftsmanship
of the arrowheads.

Keda is one of the only two young men that pass the test, and in spite
of his mothers (and his own) reservations, joins the hunt.

Keda isn’t a strong figure, like his father Tau, and the movie shows
some of the tension and strife this causes the father and son. Tau is
trying to teach Keda to be a leader, and Keda seems too soft-hearted to
be able to bear the task. Keda has a hard time with the killing of
animals, even though it is needed to sustain the tribe.

The annual hunt consists of tracking down a herd of bison over a span of
days, and then creeping up on them on their grazing grounds and spooking
them into headlong flight over the edge of a high cliff. The hunters
must keep the herd from turning back to the open plain by throwing their
spears and running full-tilt at the bison. The run to push the bison
over the cliffs edge starts off well, and then takes a tragic turn when
one of the bison turns towards the hunters and charges at Keda. Kedas
confidence breaks and he turns tail to run, with the bison chasing him
down. When the bison lowers his head to charge at Keda, the bisons horn
catches in Kedas clothing and the bison turns towards the cliff face and
dump Keda over the edge.
Keda miraculously lands on a rock outcropping about half way down the
cliff face, but it is still too far for Tau to reach him. Keda is
unconscious, and does not respond to his fathers calls.

Tau is convinced that he must leave his son for dead and head towards
home in order to be able to provide for the tribe.

A day later, Keda wakes and finds himself alone, with broken bones, and
no way to get off the cliff face.

What follows is a story of coming of age and determination. Keda must
find his way off the cliff face, and using the tools given to him by his
father on the way to the bison hunting grounds, find his way home. He
finds unlikely companionship in a wolf that he injured while the wolf
pack was hunting him down to try to eat him, which he nurses back to
health. He names the wolf “Alpha”, but in truth, it is Keda who is
learning to become the alpha, or leader of the pack.

The scenery in the movie is breathtaking, and the movie really comes to
life with the 3D option. I can only imagine that it would be even better
in IMAX.

There were pieces of the film that were entirely un-realistic, but they
were rather quickly covered up by the fast-paced nature of the film.

The only part I really groaned at was the very end scene, but I will let
you draw your own conclusions on that so that I don’t ruin it for you!

My son just turned 10 and he liked it a lot, but did mention that a few
parts were not 100% “kid-friendly” due to the scare-factor. He was
specifically referring to one scene that made us both literally jump in
our seats. He said over all the movie was great and that he enjoyed it
immensely.

I would give this movie 3.5 out of 5 stars, and recommend that you see
it in IMAX 3D if you are able!
  
The Neighbor
The Neighbor
London Clarke | 2021 | Horror, Paranormal
10
10.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
I can not get enough of London Clarke's books. I have not read a bad one yet, so when I saw that she had released a new book entitled The Neighbor, I knew I had to read it. To say I was blown away is an understatement. The Neighbor has now become my favorite London Clarke book so far.

The plot of The Neighbor was definitely frightening. However, I could not put this book down. I kept trying to find opportunities when I had free time to read it. I was terrified for Claire and her four girls. I found myself wanting to protect them from whatever evil had invaded their house. I loved how the supernatural element of the story did not feel forced or cheesy. It was very believable so much so that I kept having to check for shadows as I read this book! The pacing was done perfectly. Although there are some parts of the story that are a bit predictable with how they will play out, I felt that it didn't take away from the narrative at all. I will say all the demon encounters were the spookiest though! However, London Clarke writes them in a way that won't leave you too scared to continue reading. She writes them in a way that will leave you wanting to know more. By the end of the book, all loose ends had been tied up, and there were no cliff hangers.

All of the characters in The Neighbor were fleshed out perfectly even the supporting characters. I really connected with Claire the most, not because she was the main character, but because we are both mothers. While I have two boys instead of four girls, my youngest, funnily enough named Levi (if you read The Neighbor, you'll find out why I find it funny), is the same age as Claire's youngest daughter named Paris. My oldest isn't much older than Claire's oldest daughter Annalen. Plus, Claire and myself are very close in age. I was behind Claire 100 percent, and it annoyed me when her ex-husband, Gunnar, thought she was just losing her mind instead of trying to help her out. I found Clair to be a very strong female character, and I felt so much admiration for her for what she chose to go through for her girls. (I know that most parents would have done the same though.) I also felt bad for Claire that one decision is what caused this whole supernatural mess. Steel was a definitely an interesting character that I did not trust from the very beginning. He is written perfectly, and even though I didn't trust him very much, he was still fun to read about. I found myself trying to figure him out all the time! Whitney was another character that I liked but didn't trust. It was so weird how her life seemed to mimic Claire's.

Trigger warnings for The Neighbor include profanity, violence, murder, death, suicide, alcohol, pedophilia (though not graphic), sex scenes (not very graphic), demons, and the occult.

Overall, The Neighbor is one heck of a rollercoaster ride, so be sure to strap yourself in tight. With it's terrifying plot and interesting characters, this book sucks you in from the very first page and won't spit you back out until it's had its wicked way with you. This is one book that needs to be made into a movie now. I would definitely recommend The Neighbor by London Clarke to those aged 18+ who love their spooky novels with a big helping of terrifying on the side. You will not be disappointed, that's for sure!
  
    African Proverbs

    African Proverbs

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    Baganda * One who loves you, warns you. Ethiopian * Evil enters like a splinter and...

Valley of the Moon
Valley of the Moon
Melanie Gideon | 2016 | Fiction & Poetry, History & Politics, Science Fiction/Fantasy
10
10.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
<i>I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.</i>

For fans of <i>The Time Traveler’s Wife</i> (Niffenegger, 2003) this captivating story by Melanie Gideon is an alluring, spellbinding work of fiction about loving, being loved and finding somewhere you belong. With a touch of time travel in an otherwise typical reality,<i> Valley of the Moon </i>will excite, enrapture and touch readers’ hearts.

It is difficult to give a synoptic review without giving too much of the plot away. In short, the book contains the two lives of complete strangers who meet under extremely unlikely circumstances. It is 1975 and Lux Lysander is struggling to make ends meet as a single mother in San Francisco. Estranged from her parents, Benno has become her life; Lux would do anything for him. The other half of the story begins in 1906 in the Californian Sonoma Valley. Joseph has achieved his dream of creating an Edenic community where races and classes can live in harmony. Greengage is a self-sufficient society where everyone is seen as equal, however, something happens to shake up the peace – literally. A huge earthquake mysteriously leaves the valley unharmed but completely surrounded by a deadly fog. No one can leave and no one can enter, that is until Lux does.

Until the two characters’ lives collide, the narrative is fairly typical, but it quickly takes on a theme that most minds would attempt to debunk. Through a wall of fog, Lux can pass between 1975 and 1906, whereas Joseph and his friends can only stay in their own timeline. Lux begins to live a double life: one with her son Benno and one with the antiquated lifestyle of the Greengage community. Unfortunately, it is only possible to pass through the fog on a fall moon, and not necessarily every month.

Lux’s modern appearance and colloquialisms baffle the community but she soon finds herself a place amongst the inhabitants. For a while, Lux is able to keep her two lives separate, but one slip up causes her to temporarily lose the love and trust of her only son. Torn between her own flesh and blood and the only place she feels she belongs, Lux has to decide how far she would go for the people she loves.

One of the key themes of the novel is relationship. Although romance develops toward the latter stages of the story, the majority is focused on familial love and love between friends. Lux and Benno’s relationship is particularly important, especially when their love becomes strained by Lux’s secret dalliance with the past. The other significant theme is about finding oneself. Lux lives in an era where, despite developments in women’s equality, single mothers are still shunned. Conversely, in 1906 where historically things were worse for women, the egalitarian society feels much more like home.

Lux’s temerity is to be admired as she continues to visit the past despite it being beyond the bounds of possibility. More applaudable is her determination to win back her son as well as her distant parents.

Despite being set for the most part in the 1970s and 80s, <i>Valley of the Moon</i> has a futuristic air about it, with an element of fantasy and science fiction. It is almost a version of <i>The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe</i> (Lewis, 1950) but for adults, with more realistic themes. Melanie Gideon admits that she got the idea for the novel from the film <i>Brigadoon</i> (1954) in which the protagonist stumbles across a magical land in the woods. With similarities, Gideon has created her own version of this fairy-tale-like scenario.

Journeying through a range of emotions, <i>Valley of the Moon</i> is a story that engages readers from beginning to end. With ups and downs, the author explores the lives and personalities of the main characters, which develop beautifully over time. This book is not one likely to disappoint its readers.
  
Masters of Horror: A Horror Anthology
Masters of Horror: A Horror Anthology
Matt Shaw | 2020 | Horror
8
9.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
112 of 200
Kindle
Masters of Horror: A Horror anthology
Presented by Matt Shaw
Collection of authors

Masters of Horror A selection of some of the finest horror writers of today were invited by Matt Shaw to bring him their twisted tales for this anthology. A book put together with the sole purpose of reminding readers what the horror genre is really about. Each author was told they could write about any subject matter they wanted so long as it was set in a world of horror. The only rule they had: No Paranormal Romance. Vampires do not sparkle, werewolves do not date, Witches do not scour Tinder for Virgins and ghosts do not declare their undying love whilst tidying the apartment... This is horror... Featuring work from: Introduction- Matt Shaw Brian Lumley - The Cyprus Shell Ramsey Campbell- Again Sam West- Survival J R Park - Mary Peter McKeirnon- Doll Face Andrew Freudenberg- A Taste of Mercy Mason Sabre - Chocolate Shaun Hutson- The Contract Anton Palmer- Dead-Eyed Dick Wrath James White- Beast Mode Shane McKenzie- Dewey Davenport Tonia Brown - Zolem Graeme Reynolds- The Pit Adam L.G. Nevill- Hippocampus Gary McMahon- You Can Go Now Ryan Harding - Down There Matt Shaw - Letter From Hell Matt Hickman- Eye For An Eye Daniel Marc Chant - Three Black Dogs Amy Cross- Checkout Kit Power- Loco Parentis Adam Millard - In The Family Guy N. Smith - The Priest Hole Jaime Johnesee- Just Breathe Craig Saunders- Raintown Sam Michael Bray - The End Is Where You’ll Find It Jeff Strand- Don’t Make Fun Of The Haunted House Mark Cassell - Trust Issues Paul Flewitt- The Silent Invader Clare Riley Whitfield- The Clay Man Jim Goforth- Animus Brian Lumley - The Deep-Sea Conch Chris Hall- Afterword


A few comments on the ones I enjoyed the most!
1. The Cyprus shell by Brain Lumley

This is a letter to a friend explaining his recent early departure from a dinner party. He explains his awful experience and aversion to oysters! Got to say I loved it and it captured so much in a short letter!

2. Again by Ramsey Campbell

This is a strange little story about a hiker discovering a strange old woman keeping her almost dead husband tied to a bed. It was a little strange.

4. Mary by J R Park

Ooo this was good religious symbols and lots of murder and blood!!

5 Doll Face by Peter McKeirnon

This was creepy as f**k there are no limits to what a father would do for his little girl!

6. A taste of Mercy by Andrew Freudenburg

Brilliant so sad and yet so gross! You felt every word of the woe the trenches brought these men!

7 chocolate by Mason Sabre

Ok so I will be keeping a close eye on my kids and their imaginary friends needing chocolate haha loved it!

8 The Contract by Shaun Hutson

Well this taught us one thing is certain killing death would be a very silly thing to do!!

9 Dead-eyed Dick by Anton Palmer

This had me in tears laughing and must be every mans worst nightmare! I’m definitely getting my husband to read it! Brilliant!!

11 Hippocampus by Adam L.G. Nevill

Nevill is one of my favourite authors he has a way of taking you every step of the journey with every book he writes. This one did not disappoint I walked the length of that vessel
With him! I know have some pretty gruesome scenes in my head.

12 you can go now. By Gary McMahon

Totally heartbreaking in some way and utterly creepy in others! Also an eye opener to mental illness which I took from it!

13 letter from hell by Matt Shaw

Reading this made me sick to my stomach being a mum I think it’s my worst nightmare! I can just imagine how those mothers felt when their children never came home! Totally gut wrenching!!

14 Eye for an eye by Matt Hickman

Brilliant! Gruesome and totally what you’d expect from the afterlife of a murderer!

16 Loco Parentis by Kit Power

About a man rounding up a pedophile ring and breaking some bones but in a strange twist he turns it on the reader lol very good!!

I absolutely loved most of these stories I think there is something in there for every Horror fan I’ve also found a few more authors!
  
TI
The Ill-kept Oath
C.C. Aune | 2016
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Actual Rating: 3.5 Stars

Set in the early 1800s, The Ill-Kept Oath is a cross between historical fantasy and paranormal romance, though it leans heavily in the latter of the two genres for the majority of the novel. Prudence Fairfeather and her brother Edward are orphans taken in by Lord Middlemere. Raised as nobility, Prudence has nothing to her name and must wed well for her future. Her cousin, Josephine Weston, is Lord Middlemere’s only child and, a couple years younger than Prudence, also finds herself in the path of a relationship that, though she desperately wishes, is beneath her. As if the stress of needing to marry wasn’t enough, the two discover that they have the Inheritance, which is, more or less, magic that has been passed on through the generations. Both girls are also recipients of Talismans that once belonged to their mothers and these items appear to have a gravitational pull that neither girl can withstand, which lands them in trouble on more than one account. In addition to romance and magic, there are trolls, rebellious magic users, and a very real reason for Prudence to fear for her very life, lending a sense of urgency to the book.
 
That sense of urgency is not dealt with in a timely manner though, it seems. While I adored reading The Ill-Kept Oath, I can’t help but feel that there were moments in which the book simply dragged on. Granted, I’m not much of a fan of romance and what truly piqued my interest in regards to this book was the idea of magic and rebellion, two topics that I am most definitely a large fan of. These two subjects, though largely used in the book’s description, are almost minor elements in comparison to Prudence’s debut for the London Season. In fact, the main conflict of the book itself seems to take a backseat to the romance side of the story which, while bittersweet in its telling, might strike the reader as something that ought to come second to the fact that there are trolls rampaging around the countryside.
 
It isn’t until near the end of the book that things begin to pick up and start falling into place. Here we learn that the romance side of things play a very important, unseen role in a vile plot to rebel against laws put in place several years prior. Without giving away spoilers, the parts of the book that we slag through are all, despite how mundane they appear, vital to the situation that unfolds. Every element finds a way of coming together, and there are certainly moments that, as I read them, I was able to appreciate the earlier, seemingly pointless interactions of characters. In that regard, I must commend C. C. Aune’s ability to implement small pieces of seemingly pointless knowledge that are, in fact, pivotal to the story. With that in mind, even without being a fan of romance, I was able to at least appreciate Prudence’s involvement in the Marriage Mart.
 
One of the things I actually liked about The Ill-Kept Oath is the depth to each of its characters. Unlike many of the books that I’ve read lately where the characters are one-dimensional with no point of existence except to fill a certain role and none other, the characters that Aune has breathed life into are colorful and real. Josephine is sixteen, on the cusp of adulthood, and bears the qualities of a teen-aged girl, soon to be woman, that we expect to see, from immaturity to accepting the changes in her own feelings and emotions. Prudence has just crossed into adulthood, and as a reader I was able to sense and truly feel her reluctance to accept a marriage out of necessity, rather than love. Her frustration, and her way of deflecting offers, are not merely glazed over, but written with depth. Even Edward, Prudence’s brother, shows the awkwardness to be expected of a young man still in university that has, unfortunately, developed some less than favorable emotions.
 
I really wish that more had been explained about the Inheritance and that there wasn’t so much left open to guessing. I assume this is something that will be more fully addressed later on, assuming there will be a sequel, and if that is the case I certainly look forward to reading it. What The Ill-Kept Oath gives us is a mere glimpse into a dark, dark world with many secrets left to be uncovered. A place where things happen with little care for the results, as long as an end is obtained. Overall, I enjoyed the book, though I feel that the story could have had a heavier focus on the magical side of things, along with a quicker pace.
 
Finally, I would like to offer a heart-felt thanks to Netgalley, Wise Ink Creative Publishing, and C. C. Aune for an advanced copy of The Ill-Kept Oath in exchange for an unbiased review.
  
ML
Mother's Love
Charlotte Hubbard | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-12694" src="http://cafinatedreads.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Scavenger_17.jpg"; alt="" width="500" height="200" />
<span style="color: #993300;"><b><i>EXCERPT</i></b></span>
<span style="color: #993300;">“I want three chickie legs and a big ole bunch of taters,” Gracie announced as she pointed to the food in the steam table. “Lotsa gravy, too—right, Matthias? Do you like lotsa gravy on your taters?”</span>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;">“That looks like awesome gravy.” Matthias smiled at the women who were filling his plate. “If I could have some on my chicken as well as my taters,” he said, winking at Gracie, “that would be wonderful. Denki, ladies. This is a fabulous meal.”</span>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;">As Rose gazed around the crowded greenhouse, looking for three empty chairs, she was very aware that folks were watching her—whispering about the man who followed her between the tables, carrying Gracie as though she were his. Rose wanted to announce, loud and clear, that Matthias Wagler was only here for the food.</span>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;">But they’ll know that’s not true. Just like you do.</span>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;">Rose’s cheeks tingled with heat. She hurried toward the last unoccupied table in the back corner of the big glassed-in room, not meeting anyone’s gaze. Settling into a folding chair, Rose sighed heavily as she gazed at the plate she’d filled. Why had she taken so much food when she had no appetite? Why had her attention wandered as she’d listened to Matthias’s voice and watched him hold Gracie against his hip as though he’d done that dozens of times? She smiled weakly at him as he gently set Gracie in the chair beside hers. Because she couldn’t think of a thing to say, Rose took Gracie’s hand and bowed her head in prayer. She heard Matthias sit in the chair on the other side of her daughter.</span>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;">What have I gotten myself into, Lord? I’ve just buried my mother yet I’m allowing this man I’ve met only once to sit with me and to entertain my little girl. This feels so improper—and everyone else is thinking I’ve wandered off the straight and narrow, too.</span>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;">Rose’s eyes fluttered open. Was God displeased with her behavior? Had she really lost her way? Now that she’d given in to Gracie’s fascination with Matthias, how could she tell him she wanted nothing more to do with him? She glanced at him and nipped her lip.</span>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;">He’s still in prayer before his meal. Gracie has put her tiny hand on top of his big strong one. How can that be so wrong when it looks so right? So sweet.</span>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em><strong><span style="color: #008080;">My Thoughts:</span></strong></em>
<span style="color: #008080;">I absolutely loved this book! It really and truly hit home with me. As somone who lost their own mother, reading Rose's story was close to my heart. This story wasn't just about Rose losing her mother, though. It's so much more than that. </span>
<span style="color: #008080;">Among the pages of this book you'll find hope, warmth, secrets, love and laughter. Rose's daughter will quickly steal your heart! Each page turn made me feel a part of Rose's story as if I was there, among the Amish. I love that! And Matthias' character. Lordy. I loved his character. He was a strong widower and wonderful for the part he played in Rose's journey. </span>

<span style="color: #008080;">If you are looking for a book that is about second chances, and love, faith and hope, then this book is for you. The Amish are considered Plain, but in <em><strong>A Mother's Love</strong></em> they are anything but. Ms. Hubbard has once again created a 4 star read that is worthy of recommendations and keeping on the shelf forever. Well done, Ms. Hubbard! </span>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>Giveaway
</strong></em><a id="rcwidget_js5c33y7" class="rcptr" href="http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/28e4345f2196/"; rel="nofollow" data-template="" data-theme="classic" data-raflid="28e4345f2196">a Rafflecopter giveaway</a>
<script src="https://widget-prime.rafflecopter.com/launch.js"></script><a href="http://cafinatedreads.com/goddess-fish-promotions-vbb-review-scavenger-hunt-a-mothers-love-by-charlotte-hubbard/"; target="_blank">This review was originally posted on Cafinated Reads</a>
  
The Umbrella Academy
The Umbrella Academy
2018 | Action, Fantasy
I hadn’t even heard anything about The Umbrella Academy before, let alone read any of the Dark Horse comic series on which this Netflix show is adapted from. The premise, and the trailer for the show, didn’t initially appeal to me if I’m honest. But, it turns out that Netflix have only gone and done it again, turning out yet another binge worthy little gem of a show.


The setup for Umbrella Academy is that one day in 1989, 43 babies were born to mothers who were not pregnant when that day began. An eccentric billionaire, Sir Reginald Hargreeves, purchases seven of those babies and raises them, training them to become a powerful crime fighting team. Living with them at the Umbrella Academy is an android Nanny, who the children refer to as Mom, and a well spoken elderly chimpanzee butler called Dr Pogo (impressive work from Weta, the team behind the recent Planet of The Apes trilogy). Each child is known only by a number given to them by their ‘Father’, Sir Reginald – Number 1 through to Number 7 – ranked in order of their usefulness to him!

Fast forward to present day and the team have all but disbanded, with what’s left of them living out problem filled adult lives. Number 1 (now known as Luther) has been living on the moon for the past 4 years. He possesses super strength and has a very bulky appearance, wearing roll neck jumpers and a long coat. Number 2 (now Diego) is a vigilante and a bit of a knife expert. Number 3 (Allison) is now a famous actress, gifted with the ability to alter reality with her voice. Number 4 (Klaus) is a junkie who can communicate with the dead. Number 5 is able to perform small teleportations, or time jumps, but has been missing since they were all teenagers. Number 6 (Ben) was killed prior to the events in this show and Number 7 (Vanya) is believed not to have any special abilities, always being neglected and overlooked by the others while growing up. When news reaches them all that Sir Reginald has died, they all return to the academy.

The opening episode of The Umbrella Academy is packed full of thrills, mystery and a very exciting setup for the remainder of the season. We get a taste of the childrens abilities and teamwork, impressively taking out a bunch of bad guys. Then in present day, Number 5 suddenly appears from a portal in the sky. He claims to have spent decades living in a post-apocalyptic future, having jumped there all those years ago, but unable to return. He survived there until the age of 58, but on his return to present day he returned to his 13 year old appearance. We get a glimpse of the apocalyptic world that Number 5 arrived in and discover that whatever causes it is due to happen in just a few days from present day.

From there, the show suffers with what a lot of high concept shows tend to suffer from – second episode drag. That’s not to say that it’s boring, but we begin to delve into some of the Daddy issues that the various team members have, along with issues some of them have with each other and it’s a sharp contrast to the impressive opening episode. If I’m honest, by the end of episode 3 I was considering giving up, but I stuck with it. I really grew to like this dysfunctional family, and as the show dips back and forth between their teenage years and the present day, I really became invested in the show and its characters. They begin to band together to work through their issues and try and find a way of working out what causes the impending apocalypse, and how to stop it.

There are certainly consequences which play out throughout the season though. We discover that during his time in the future, Number 5 became involved in an organisation which works to correct events in time in order to ensure the destined timeline plays out as it should. Because of Number 5’s return to the present, he is now being hunted by a pair of black suited assassins called Hazel and Cha-Cha. Consequently, the body count in this show is pretty high, usually accompanied by a killer soundtrack!

I’m glad I stuck with it, because the whole thing soon became compulsive viewing, building to an incredibly entertaining and satisfying finale. With the apocalypse imminent, the whole team finally work together once more – a few twists and turns along the way, and a great cliffhanger setting things up for another season. I really loved everything about this show and the way that something so completely bonkers is presented so well, so believable and so intense.
  
Kingdom (2019)
Kingdom (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, International
6
5.4 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Action sequences. (2 more)
The Mountain Tribe.
Zuo Ci.
134-minute duration feels like a marathon. (1 more)
Drags a lot in its first half.
I haven’t read any of the 55 volumes (and counting) of Yasuhisa Hara’s Kingdom manga or watched any of the 77 episodes of the anime adapted by animation studio Pierrot (Bleach, Yu Yu Hakusho, and Tokyo Ghoul among many others). To make matters worse, I haven’t seen any of the films by director and co-screenwriter Shinsuke Sato (the two live-action Gantz films, Death Note: Light Up the New World, the live-action Bleach film for Netflix). I’m going into Kingdom completely blind and I have no idea if that makes the viewing experience any better or worse.

In 255 B.C., Kingdom revolves around the quick-tempered and charge-headfirst-into-battle-without-thinking Xin (Kento Yamazaki) that dreams of being the greatest general of the Qin Kingdom. There’s other stuff going on; a bloody 500 year war between the seven states of China, Xin’s best friend Piao (Ryô Yoshizawa) being enlisted by the King only to turn around and be killed, and King Yin Zheng being a splitting image of Piao, but nothing is emphasized or screamed louder than Xin’s desire to become the greatest general China has ever known.

Kingdom feels like it’s about 45 minutes too long for its own good. The first hour seems to drag as blood spraying into the air every now and then isn’t enough to keep you fully intrigued. The manga is an exaggerated recounting of Zheng actually becoming king in 221 B.C. during the Warring States period and eventually unifying China while the characters are loosely based on actual historical figures. The action adventure film attempts to portray Xin and Piao as worthy and capable swordsman because they clunked stick swords together 10,000 times in an empty field throughout their childhood and teenage years.

The film tries to compensate for its slow first hour with a more eventful second half, but it doesn’t totally succeed. Yang Duan He (Masami Nagasawa) and her mountain tribe are pretty awesome. Their masks remind you of something straight out of Princess Mononoke and you’ll be trying your hardest not to compare Yang Duan He to Xena: Warrior Princess. There’s this competition for the throne that gets a little complicated. Zheng’s brother Cheng Jiao (Kanata Hongo) is nasty and heartless and basically a human version of Salacious Crumb sitting on an even more elaborate version of Jabba the Hutt’s dais. Zheng and Jiao have the same father, but different mothers; Jiao’s is of royal blood and Zheng’s is a dancer or, in other words, a commoner. Jiao viewed peasantry as being bone deep; it isn’t something that can ever go away.

The main theme of Kingdom sounds like a direct ripoff of the main Guardians of the Galaxy theme, which is kind of brain-numbing. The prosthetics in the film are questionable with Li Dian, the original slave owner of Xin and Piao, having this awkwardly orange colored face, inhumanly puffy cheeks, stringy facial hair, and the ugliest facial expressions imaginable. After Xin joins up with Zheng, a girl in a bushy owl costume named He Liao Diao (Kanna Hasimoto) is mostly only around to take everyone to the mountains later. The chemistry Xin, Zheng, and Diao have is reminiscent of what Mugen, Jin, and Foo have in Samurai Champloo. Another observation is that Xin is basically Goku with Vegeta’s short-fuse temper; he lives to fight and eat, he’s dumber than a bag of rocks, and he can’t identify a woman when she’s standing directly in front of him.

Cheng Jiao’s go-to henchman, former general and current hitman for hire Zuo Ci (Tak Sakaguchi) may be the film’s coolest character. He doesn’t care about anybody, tells Xin that all dreams are BS, and is a part of what is arguably the best action sequence in the film. Meanwhile, General Wang Yi (Takao Ohsawa), the most renowned general in all of China and the guy with the status Xin plans on taking in the future, is a bit overrated. He mostly just parades his weird and pointy facial hair around and swings his giant sword as if it won’t remind us of Guts from Berserk.

All in all, Kingdom is a decent action adventure that just takes a while to really get going. The performances aren’t totally satisfying with Kento Yamazaki hamming it up on more than occasion and taking the brainless dolt with a huge mouth thing to uncomfortable levels. The story isn’t exactly hard to follow, but it does feel like it’s trying to be more convoluted than it needs to be. You don’t feel any sort of attachment to any of the characters and any sort of twist can be seen long before the reveal. Kingdom is just an okay way to spend two hours that is probably a justifiable rental on a day when you have nothing better to do, but is not worth paying full price to own.