Search

Search only in certain items:

The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)
The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)
2017 | Action, Comedy
A plethora of clichés.
2017’s summer blockbusters fizzle to a halt with this formulaic action comedy. Ryan Reynolds (“Deadpool“) plays Michael Bryce: a cocksure “Triple A rated” bodyguard, always planning three steps ahead so that he can protect his clients without killing anyone in the process. With such arrogance, a fall is inevitable. On the other side of the legal scales is Darius Kincaid (Samuel L Jackson, “The Hateful Eight“), a contract killer who always gets his man. But the incarcerated Kincaid is offered a deal to release his equally incarcerated wife Sonia (Selma Hayek) in return for testifying against the fearsome Belarus president Vladislav Dukhovich (Gary Oldman, “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”), on trial for war crimes at The Hague. An Interpol team led by Bryce’s’s ex-squeeze Amelia Roussel (the striking Elodie Yung) now have to get Kincaid to Belgium unscathed with Dukhovich’s well-trained and well-armed thugs stopping at nothing to ensure he won’t be there to testify. Fate transpires that Bryce and Kincaid become an unlikely team in trying to bring Dukhovich to justice.


After losing your no claims bonus, hysterical laughter is the only way forwards. Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L Jackson.

This is a movie whose script seems to have been glued together from a patchwork of other movie scenes:


– the bad guy / bad guy partner relationship of “The Nice Guys“. Check.
– the street ambush of “Clear and Present Danger”. Check.
– the Amsterdam boat chase of “Puppet on a Chain”. Check.
– the comedic bar-room brawl from “Airplane”. Check.

Many of the action scenes are done with panache and some great stunt work. But it’s all stuff we’ve seen countless times before, so what is needed for differentiation is the relationships between Bryce and Kincaid: this needs to be the cornerstone of the film. But it just doesn’t quite work. Jackson’s contribution is never in doubt, even though we’ve seen this motherf-ing shtick countless times before: he’s still magnetic, charismatic and a joy to watch. But unfortunately Reynolds just doesn’t deliver the acting goods to make the banter believable: there is a reason “Deadpool” is his best film – he wears a mask for most of it! His ‘puppy-dog look’ gets rolled out multiple times, but it’s unconvincing in the extreme. Together they are no match for Gosling/Crowe in “The Nice Guys“.


Nun but the brave. Jackson (if not Reynolds) get happy clappy.


On firmer ground is the quirky relationship between Mr and Mrs Kincaid. Although sharing limited screen time together, Hayek and Jackson spark off each other wonderfully. Seeing Selma Hayek in uncharacteristically sweary and belligerent mode was highly entertaining (although it’s worth commenting that my wife took great offence to the ‘comic’ bullying of an overweight cellmate).


“I had to ask the guy next to me to pinch me to make sure I wasn’t dreaming” – the future Mr and Mrs Kincaid meet in a rough place… the seediest dive on the wharf.


Elsewhere in the acting roll call, Elodie Yung delivers just the right measure of cuteness, toughness and passion as Roussel, but Oldman delivers a full-on retread of his Ivan “Get off my plane” Korshunov from “Air Force One”. There is also a change to Oldman’s character’s face at the end of the film in the form of a rampant skin complaint which is ‘explained’ by a clumsily inserted news item about an “attempted poisoning”: it’s such a clunky and bizarre addition to the script that it made me wonder whether the actor has some unexpected ailment (like shingles) during filming…. but I can see nothing related to this online.


The striking Elodie Yung as the Interpol agent Roussel.


The screenplay by relative newcomer Tom O’Connor bumps along from implausible action scene to implausible action scene, with more that its fair share of ‘WTF’ moments. For example, after a random chase through multiple Amsterdam alleys and shops, Jackson pulls up outside the very DIY shop Reynolds ends up in to pick him up! The script is also tonally uneven throughout: given this is supposed to be an “action comedy” the action is often brutal and unpleasant and the comedy – in the main – just not funny enough. (About the funniest thing in the film are the most ineffective sub machine guns known to man, most notably in the mildly ludicrous, if well staged, boat chase scene!)


An entertaining cameo from Richard E Grant as a businessman in danger.


The film also manages to offend, in more ways than the 15-rated violence and language used: I’m not sure WHEN this movie was actually filmed, but the use of an articulated lorry as a terrorist weapon towards the end of the film is certainly in very poor taste after the events of Nice, London and Barcelona. Not appreciated.
Directed by Patrick Hughes (“The Expendables 3″…. say no more) this hodge-podge of a flick is sporadically entertaining, but is one I will struggle to remember in a couple of months time.
  
The Resistance: Avalon
The Resistance: Avalon
2012 | Bluff, Card Game, Deduction, Fantasy, Medieval
Excellent gateway game (1 more)
Amazing for playing with large groups
Can be frustrating with certain player numbers, such as 5, 9 or 10. (0 more)
Great Bluffing Game!
Avalon is an enhancement to the Resistance,l (which in turn is a revision of Mafia/Werewolf) as it includes special player roles. This card game requires players to select a card each, which tells them if they are a good character (loyal servant of King Arthur) or a bad character (minion of Mordred), which defines how they play the game. As a good guy, you must try and succeed 3 of 5 missions, whilst the bad guys will try to make the missions fail. No one knows who the other good guys are, except for the player who receives the Merlin card. Merlin knows who the good guys are, and will therefore try to persuade the group towards ensuring only the good guys go on missions. However, there is a special role for the bad guys too. If the bad guys lose, the player who is the Assassin has a last chance to claim victory for the bad guys, if the Assassin can guess who Merlin is. Therefore, Merlin has to be subtle, otherwise the bad guys will win.

This is essentially a bluffing game where you just convince others that you are good and, inevitably, accuse others of being bad. This game, for the right group, is hours of fun! You need a ln engaged group of people who are willing to chat and be enthusiastic about engaging with this; the game and fun C Mrs from this interaction, and layer dissecting who was good and bad and how they fooled or misled everyone. I thoroughly recommend this game for gateway gamers i.e. those making the transition from everyday well known games such as Monopoly, to more designer games that have flourished over the past 20 years or so.

This game, whilst great, falters at lower or highest playcounts. At the lower end, it is very difficult to play as a bad guy, unless you use other roles included in the game. At the higher gamecount, things get very confusing and overly exhausting. However, this is an exceptional game and is likely only bettered as a bluffing game by the soon to be released Blood on the Clocktower.

I have played this hundreds of time, with the same group of people. Whilst I am now fatigued by the game, given this game only costs around £15, it is a solid investment for so many hours of fun.
  
Knight and Day (2010)
Knight and Day (2010)
2010 | Action, Adventure, Comedy
You’d be forgiven for thinking that a spy film with the likes of Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz could do no wrong, and indeed that’s the view I had, how wrong I was. Despite a fantastic performance from Diaz, Knight & Day falls well short.

There have been numerous comedy spy capers over the years, some of which have been fantastic, like Johnny English and Get Smart for example and others which have been less than stellar; Mr. & Mrs. Smith comes to mind. Unfortunately Knight & Day fits in between the good and the bad and comes out distinctly average.

Problems blight the film from the off stemming from wobbly CGI to ridiculous stunts and lazy direction choices, it seems like director James Mangold went into this project a little half-heartedly.

Tom Cruise plays spy Roy Miller and the film follows his adventures across the globe protecting the elusive ‘Zephyr’ battery which apparently never runs out of power. Needless to say Cameron Diaz plays the ditzy blonde who later becomes the love interest for the film. Whilst Diaz provides a fun and exciting performance, providing many of the movie’s best comedic moments, Cruise feels seriously miscast in a humorous role and he becomes tiresome to watch.

Alas, the issues don’t stop there. For an action film, it’s distinctly lacking in action and the set pieces that are there are lazily choreographed or rendered in shoddy CGI. Considering its less than modest budget (£120m), Knight & Day should’ve been a joy to watch, instead it’s like looking at a TV programme for 109 minutes.

Meanwhile the villains in the film are simply cardboard cut-outs as the writers haven’t given enough thought to fleshing out their characters. Cruise simply points and shoots and bang, they’re dead.

However, all of these problems could’ve been forgiven if the film had some great storytelling – it doesn’t. What should’ve been the best parts of the film are blacked out. The escapes, the fighting and even some of the ending are lost as Mangold decides to get around inexplicable plot events by drugging the main characters. Again, this is a lazy technique which doesn’t work.

It’s a shame, as there are many reasons why this film should’ve been at least a good summer action flick. In reality, Knight & Day simply becomes passable at best with some inexcusably lazy direction choices, dreadful CGI, bad casting and flimsy characters which all add up to a film which is left hanging on the merits of Cameron Diaz.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2011/09/13/knight-day-2011/
  
The White Room
The White Room
C.M. Albert | 2018 | Contemporary, Erotica, Romance
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
hot hot HOT!!!
Independent reviewer for Archaeolibrarian, I was gifted my copy of this book.

Welcome to The White Room. 3 rules you need to know: you may only visit once every 6 weeks; you may not request a repeat with anyone, and what happens in the White Room, stays in the White Room. Or they WERE the rules. But circumstances changes, and so do the rules.

I really don't know what I was expecting from this book, really I didn't but I KNOW I wasn't expecting THIS!

I LOVED THIS BOOK!!!

It's basically wall to wall sex, and I makes no apologies for loving a book written as such. It lands itself firmly on 3 shelves: erotica; over 18, and fan yourself its a hot one! Cos ooooeeee is this a hot hot HOT one!

Dom is given a visit to the White Room as a birthday gift. Avaline uses the White Room when her husband becomes terminally ill. Lexie visits after her divorce. Asher visits to get his Mrs Robinson fantasy played out. Simon likes to get his desk signed underneath by those he had sex with on top. Austin wanted to be pampered but he couldn't leave his dominance at the door. Vironica is a widow, but still a woman. Arianna wasn't even supposed to KNOW about the White Room. Alec likes to play with his food. Callum can't be in a relationship, not with his job. Baron is a preacher, and a widower, but still a man. Adelaide had a 2 man fantasy.

And then we come full circle back to Dom and Avaline.

Each chapter is well told from a single point of view, the person whose chapter it is. Mostly male/female pairings but there are some FFM (contact between the females) and a MFM (NO contact between the males) pairings. There are repeat visits by most of these characters, is some way or other. We get each and every emotion about why they are using the White Room, and why they are so affected by this particular visit. And just why they are all so pleased with the changing rules.

I saw no spelling or editing errors, and each story flows well from one to the next, but pay attention, they use different names in the White Room! You should read all the stories in order.

I really REALLY loved it!

This is, as far as I can see, the first I've read of this author, I hope it isn't the last!

5 very sexy stars!

**same worded review will appear elsewhere**
  
Our leading lady, Julia Elliston, is the daughter of the famed Atheist William Elliston. She is young and naïve, her mother tried to protect her and shield her from the world outside. She has much to learn about the world and is in a delicate emotional state. Her entire life has begun to crumble, starting with the death of her mother. She soon learns that everything she thought she knew is a lie. How did her mother die exactly? And who is this mysterious guardian who wishes to remain anonymous? Her childhood sweetheart has betrayed her, yet is there hope for reconciliation? As we follow Julia’s journey of discovery we encounter a few other key players. Edward and Henry Auburn, brothers who fell in love with Julia and her best friend Elizabeth Windham as children. They made plans of their future together and were secretly betrothed. But now, all their hopes and dreams are threatened. Elizabeth’s mother, Mrs. Windham has taken it upon herself to find a husband for “poor Julia”. Lady Foxworth is intent upon playing matchmaker as well. Little does Julia know the vast change in life that could take place if she concedes to marry Mr. Macy. A man with extraordinary wealth that has promised to care for and protect Julia. But can he be trusted? When laws cannot protect Julia, will her life come to ruin? And will she take a step of faith towards the only One who remains constant in an ever changing world?

  To be completely honest, I didn’t know what to think of this book most of the time I was reading it. Now that I have finished I will say that while I wasn’t 100% impressed with particulars of the content, it was a very well written book. I love the descriptive way Jessica Dotta drew me into the story. So much so, that I could imagine standing in the room with Julia. The language and style is one of my favorites for reading. The entire book is narrated by Julia who is looking back on her life much later, after the events have taken place. She hints at other mysteries in the story, but doesn’t give away too much. I was not impressed with the scenes between Mr. Macy and Julia where he was supposedly “courting” her. Although Julia remains a maiden by the end of the book, she allowed Macy’s advancements premature. It made me feel uncomfortable. Other than that, I really did enjoy Born of Persuasion. I am starting the second book Mark of Distinction, today.
  
(There are some spoilers in this review)

What happens when you build an entire life on a foundation of lies? Consequences!

Olivia travels to Pullman, Illinois from England with the Lady Charlotte. Charlotte is unmarried and pregnant. In order to be hired for a position as the assistant chef at the Hotel and to protect Charlotte's honor, they fabricate a pack of lies and stories about who they are. As time progresses, Olivia's closest friends Fred and his mother, Mrs. DeVault, as well as her cousin Albert and his girlfriend Martha are all deceived by who they are. In the end Olivia realizes the importance of honesty and seeks the Lord's forgiveness for what she has done. She tries to begin a fresh in her walk with the Lord. However, she keeps the truth about the lies hidden. She is eventually found out and has to face the consequences.

I am very baffled by this book. It drove me crazy at parts and I wanted to stop reading it, but I was also intrigued to see how it would all play out. I was disappointed in the end that the loose ends were not tied up. I understand that it is a series, however it felt very confusing at the close of the book. The two main characters were the reasons why I wanted to put the book down. Charlotte has her baby and neglects him and eventually abandons him. I know that this happens in the real world, but Charlotte's snobbery is the main reason behind her poor attitude towards the baby. Being a mother of 2 small children, this made me quite upset. Olivia is extremely naive when it comes to men and seems to be quite spineless when it comes to standing up for herself. She constantly lets herself get walked over and lives in complete fear that someone will find her out. I read for enjoyment and I prefer to read about women who are strong, truthful and stand up for what is right. I did enjoy the historical side of this book. Although, I am not quite sure where the "Postcards" come into play, learning a little about Pullman and the railworks in 1892 was quite interesting.

Even though I have conflicting feelings regarding this book, I am curious to see how Olivia's character progresses. Seeing as how the library does not yet have this series in electronic form though, I will not be continuing. I was able to purchase this book for free at Barnes & Noble.

Bethany House Publishers
  
The Huntsman: Winter's War (2016)
The Huntsman: Winter's War (2016)
2016 | Action, Drama, Sci-Fi
7
6.6 (17 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?”

Once again the story that has captivated millions throughout the world returns to the big screen with a prequel and sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman. At the end of the first film, the evil mirror-obsessed queen Ravenna (Charlize Theron) is defeated by Snow White (Kirsten Stewart) and Eric the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth). The second film begins with the revelation that Ravenna has a sister named Freya (Emily Blunt), who was completely normal until she made the mistake of falling in love and getting pregnant, which endangered the sinister plans of Ravenna. Under unknown circumstances Freya loses the love of her life and her baby, causing so much pain and suffering , she becomes the sad and lonely Snow Queen , leaving her sister to conquer kingdoms on her own .

The Huntsman is related to Ravenna, not only because of Snow White, but because he and his wife Sara (Jessica Chastain) were raised and trained in the kingdom ruled by Snow Queen Freya who, as a survivor of unthinkable heartbreak, has one big rule all her “children” must obey: Do not love. Ever.

Long story short, Freya’s reign threatens Snow White’s kingdom and it’s up to Eric, Sara, and their companions to stop her. And although her role is smaller here than in the original film, Queen Ravenna returns to both aid and manipulate her youngster sister Freya.

There might not be Seven Dwarves this time around, but the four this sequel does include are hilarious and offer some of the cleverest comebacks I have heard in a long time. Nick Frost’s Nion is the only dwarf from the original to return, and he’s joined by his brother Gryff (Rob Brydon) and two females, Mrs. Bromwyn (Sheridan Smith) and Doreena (Alexandra Roache).

I can say that I really liked this film, and as a Charlize Theron fan I most enjoy her work especially as an evil, selfish witch obsessed with eternal beauty. And of course having Chris Hemsworth in the screen is always a delight for our eyes. The special effects are not distracting at all; they’re actually the complete opposite. The quality is outstanding which makes it easier to be transported to a magical world filled with fairies and enchantments.

Although I have to say it is not as family-friendly as the fairy tale inspired film, it is definitely funny, including a lot of action and fight scenes with a story line that entertains the audience.
  
Carrie (2013)
Carrie (2013)
2013 | Horror
8
6.5 (14 Ratings)
Movie Rating
If you’ve got a taste for terror…take Carrie to the Prom.”

Chloe Grace Moretz plays Carrie, an extremely shy outcast who is bullied by her peers for being “strange” and “different”. Her mother Margaret White (Julian Moore) is an overprotective and a religious extremist who uses her strange beliefs in the form of abuse on her daughter Carrie. Like all teens, Carrie would very much like to be normal and fit in. Her mothers crazy religious beliefs keeps her from teaching Carrie the basics of becoming a woman in the hopes that she will be kept “pure”.

The schools gym teacher Mrs Desjardin (Judy Greer) takes a liking to Carrie and tries to keep her protected from popular mean girls, Chris Hargenson (Portia Doubleday) who is the “leader of the pack” and Sue Snell (Gabrielle Wilde). Sue soon regrets her actions towards Carrie and though Chris does not, Sue devises a plan to be able to make it up to Carrie. Sue asks her boyfriend Tommy Ross (Ansel Elgort) to do her a favor by taking Carrie to the prom and showing her a magical night. When Carrie is pushed too far by her peers she unleashes telekinetic powers over all who have hurt her.

Most fans of horror know all too well about Carrie. This could be the fact that the film itself has been reimagined twice . The 1976 version won an Oscar Nomination for Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie. It was well deserved then and may be well deserved now for the young Chloe who has been making great strides in her acting career since the Amityvile horror. She does a great job at embodying the archetypal superhero kind of character. Julian Moore is perfect in the role of Carrie’s mom, adding more creepiness to the character. This adaption by director Kimberly Pierce (Stop Loss, Boys Don’t Cry) is kept closer to Mr. King’s novel. Pierce makes the audience fall in love with Carrie and wants to see her succeed in her power and in herself.

Though the movie stays closer to the novel it still doesn’t stray far from it’s two predecessors. Pierce’ is my preferred version as she uses more modern effects and we can now visually see Carrie’s powers come to life instead of just burrowing eyes hinting towards powers that are being used. This film is perfect for any horror fan and those that like a great vengeful story about a girl who wanted to just be normal.