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Daisy's Vintage Cornish Camper Van
Daisy's Vintage Cornish Camper Van
Ali McNamara | 2018 | Humor & Comedy, Romance
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
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Daisy's Vintage Cornish Camper Van by Ali McNamara is exactly the book I thought I needed to put me in a better mood!

When Ana inherits a camper van from her best friend, she needs to go to Cornwall to get it. A nice sea air and fish and chips are enver a bad choice. 

But when she arrives, she realises that the camper van is in a much worse state than she imagined. The fixing will take longer than she anticipated. On top of this, Ana finds a series of unsent postcards dating back to the 1940s, hidden in the van. This is a sign and Ana wants to make sure the postcards are delivered. 

And while the camper van is restored and Ana is helping other people be happy, she may eventually notice she is finding her way back to happiness again. 

<b><i>My Thoughts:</i></b>

Daisy's Vintage Cornish Camper Van got my attention from the moment I saw that beautiful cover. Then, I read the synopsis and I was sold. 

For me, both camper vans and postcards have a big importance in my life. I have always wanted to have a camper van and be able to go on a road trips and experience that freedom. Even though I was lucky to be able to travel the world, it is never enough. 

<b><i>"Yes, there's definitely something about a camper van that makes people smile. They're a happy vehicle, so people enjoy seeing them as much as their owners enjoy driving them."</i></b>

And postcards were always a way to travel without living my home. Get to meet other places and cultures, meet other people. It is extraordinary how many things I have learned about the world and the people from other countries just by reading their postcards.

<b><i>"Deltiology - it's the name for the study and collection of postcards. It comes from the Greek word deltios, which means "writing tablet" or "letter"."</i></b>

Ana is working in London, busy in her day-to-day job. When her best friend Daisy dies, she is completely lost. Daisy was everything she had, and now she is gone. When she inherits this van, Ana is eager to pick the van up and return to her normal London routine. She is not really a fan of travel, camper vans or camping. But Daisy was, and if she wanted for Ana to have this van and that was her last wish, this is the least Ana can do for her. 

<b><i>"These old vehicles are very sensitive - especially camper vans. They're the worst, very temperamental they can be."</i></b>

Throughout her stay, Ana meets Malachi, the mechanic, who sold the van to Daisy and who will help Ana restore it. He is a very interesting character with an interesting point of view on life.

He was my favourite character in the book. 

<b><i>"People pay a lot of money these days to find themselves. They're not really finding themselves, they're finding a version of themselves they feel happy to be for a while."

"We all change through our lives, and what you're happy to be when you're twenty is unlikely to be what you're happy being when you're older."</i></b>

Malachi also has a camper van himself. He always tells Ana why camper vans are amazing. If you are a fan of camper van, this book will be a favourite by default. 

<b><i>"But... you'd be mad not to at least try camping in her. It's a wonderful experience. You can drive where you like, set up camp and cook your dinner in the open air, even bed down under the stars if you're lucky. The freedom is amazing."</i></b>

I loved everything about this book. The story was beautiful. All the characters were likeable and real. They all had their stories and points of development. It was nice to see Ana finally healing and learning to be happy again. Malachi's story was beautiful and it was the perfect closure to his mission. Noah's personal story was also heartwarming, as he learns to accept what happened in the past and be able to move on. I also really want to talk about the mystery couple from the postcards, but I won't, in fear that I will spoil anything. But the development on that story was amazing and it helped Ana in many ways to heal herself, which was magical!

<b><i>"If something is worth doing, Ana - I hear one of her favourite sayings echo in my ears - it's worth doing well."</i></b>

To summarize - Daisy's Vintage Cornish Camper Van is my new favorite!

Beautiful and heartwarming. It will make you want to go on a road trip. I definitely recommend Daisy's Vintage Cornish Camper Van. And as with every book, I love learning random things, and here are some things I learned: 

<b><i>"Did you know the phrase "dilly-dally" is commonly attributed to the English music hall singer Marie Lloyd, but was actually in use much earlier than her 1918 song, as far back as the seventeenth century?"

"A Splitty. It's what we call a split screen camper van. All pre-1967 camper vans have a windscreen split in two. After that the new models all had the solid bay windows."</i></b>

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Paul Chesworth (3 KP) created a post

Feb 20, 2018  
OSTURA – THE ROOM

Six years is a long time between album releases. A lot can happen in that time, the biggest issue being the fan-base. In today's throwaway music era, where songs are disposed for having a 20 second intro by the ‘millennials’, but thankfully us rock fans are of a more discerning disposition and made of sterner stuff. Six years is nothing in the scale of rock bands, but I had to admit that even I was a bit worried that this album would never see the light of day. It was written immediately after the debut ‘Ashes Of The Reborn) from 2013 up and through to 2016…..and here it is (finally) in 2018! Top marks to Ostura for not losing faith and getting ‘The Room’ out there. I for one am bloody glad that they have persevered.


They probably feel like a cat with 10 lives, as it has been picked up by Universal Music MENA, when it could have literally gone south and not got released at all. There have been some Ostura casualties along the way. Gone are Tony Ghanem (vocals) and Chris Naimeh (drums), and in comes Alain Ibrahim (guitars), and Alexander Abi Chaker (drums – live, and additional percussions, and he wrote all the drum parts for The Room’). For the album, Thomas Lang is behind the kit and has quite an extensive CV; and I have to say, he IS ON FIRE here.

The 12 songs were written in chronological order and work as a score for an equally cinematic storyline about a social recluse girl who takes refuge in a room. Locked in with her thoughts, fears and ambitions, the girl’s imagination turns the room into an endless universe where she is the creator. Soon after, the creation gains the ability to create and ask the right questions. The story tackles the notions of fear, perfection, social anxiety, ambitions, rage, power, and the struggle between the creator and the creation.

'The Room' is a massive production with performers from 12 countries, alongside the City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra and the core band. The premise has a lot to live up to. So, do Ostura live up to this high bar they have set for themselves?

Emphatically, yes! Where the debut was more ‘Metal’, and a mix between something like Avantasia and Kamelot, ‘The Room’ is a different experience entirely. The sound now is more cinematic and falls partly on the side of Ayreon. The sound (track) is like that of a film, it’s filled out and sounds huge, partly due to the involvement of The City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra, a choir, string quartet, and an electric triangle (one of these isn't true). The whole concept has been so carefully constructed that the Orchestra and band are not overwhelming each other or jockeying for position. It’s a perfect balance of band and orchestra coming together for probably THE release of the year.

After a very long wait, I can wholeheartedly, 100% state that ‘The Room’ is worth it, and then some! Opening track ‘The Room’ starts with this pulsating and growing riff that explodes into action. The contrast in vocals between Erosion (Monsef) and The Girl (Jreissata) works a treat, you have the roughness/industrial vs. the angelic, its light vs. dark, and they also have the wonderfully melodic metal vocals of Utopia (Michael Mills, Toehider). ‘Escape’ has hall the hallmarks of symphonic metal that you could wish for. Mills proves to be the Ace in the pack as his vocals are ear-splittingly phenomenal. The Room is more than just Within Temptation with a couple of extra sets of balls, as Ostura throw everything into the mix, both vocally and musically, there is even the daddy of them all, a Hammond organ.

In case you are worried, the three-pronged (trident) vocal assault that was seen on the debut is still here. Only this time, Monsef and Jreissata have seriously upped their game, and have in Mills a singer of the highest quality. Mills is immense, his vocals are up there with early Queesnryche’s Geoff Tate. Its not just the Mills show - Monsef glides from low to high with ease, and Jreissati' vocals are just simply divine. The three together are pure perfection.

‘Beyond’ is where the cinematic soundtrack comes to the fore. Alan Ibrahim’s and Marco Sfogli’s guitar playing collides with the PSO – electric vs. an orchestra, industrial riffs dueling against violins (An orchestra is just the heavy metal of the 1600s to the present day, without a Marshall), all coming together for this huge soundscape of noise. ‘Erosion’ is one of those songs that I wish I could play through a PA. It’s a track that you just can’t play loud enough. It mixes the brutality of guitars that Dream Theater used to do so well, with a male baritone choir! Ostura have so much faith in what they are doing that the orchestra parts come to the fore and throw in a choir for good measure adding further to the already pomp-tastic sound.

‘Mourning Light’ is the first chance to catch your breath as its just The Girl, and a small accompaniment in comparison. We have just witnessed the beautiful calm and serenity of The Girl, you know there’s something sinister just around the corner. It doesn’t half deliver with ‘Deathless’. It’s the kind of intro that you would see on a film like Godzilla, or Cloverfield, dark and looming with a sense of impending danger. The final third of ‘The Room’ has two of the biggest songs in both ‘Darker Shape Of Black’ in which Ostura have roped in 'he who shall not be named!' The other being a 12-minute magnum opus ‘Duality’. 'The 'International Man of Mystery's' style is so distinctive that it is bound to draw comparisons. The song has everything – huge riffs, against a Middle Eastern backdrop, and with the orchestra adding an overall massive sound. The filling in the middle of these two monsters is ‘The Surge’ and is solely a vehicle for ‘Erosion’ and Monsef to take centre stage.

In fact I’m going to leave it right there. It would be a poor read if all I did was wax lyrical about every song in a similar manner. I blame Danny Bou-Maroun and Elia Monsef. Its their bloody fault that the ‘The Room’ is so damn good!

I simply cannot fully express in words how good ‘The Room’ is. If you’re a fan of Ayreon, and I know there are quite a few of you out there, you absolutely positively need this in your collection. There’s a lot to absorb here, as ‘The Room’ will require several listens as its like being bombarded with a wall of sound. You will pick up on things you didn't hear the first time, and so on. The end result though is seriously worth the wait. In the world of cinematic rock, Ostura stand-alone, no one can touch them. Purely as an album it is up there with Ayreon’s ‘01011001’ and possibly Dream Theater’s ‘Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes From A Memory’. I'm not kidding.

Credit also needs to go to Jens Bogren. Ostura have a hell of a lot going on here, and to get the production so ‘right’ has taken one huge effort. To mix the sound and multiple layers are not an easy task to make it sound as good as this, and he has done a superb job, where others could easily have failed.

Honestly, very few albums hit my inbox that are this good. If anything peaks this in 2018 whether it be metal, prog, AOR and everything in between, I will be very surprised indeed. This is without doubt, awesome!

NOTE – Universal are not releasing this on CD as it’s a dying format. This is a shocking decision considering they have a potential ‘Ostura’ of an album in their possession. Criminal. Here’s hoping the band can offer up something via a Pledge campaign.

Score – Awesome!

Tracklisting –
The Room
Escape
Beyond (The New World)
Let There Be
Erosion
Mourning Light
Deathless
Darker Shade Of Black
The Surge
Duality
Exit The Room

Ostura
Youmna Jreissati – Vocals as ‘The Girl’
Elia Monsef – Vocals as ‘Erosion’ Charango, Additional Acoustic Guitar, Programming, Engineering, Media
Danny Bou-Maroun – Piano, Keyboards, Orchestration, Programming, Cubase Operation, Additional Percussions
Alain Ibrahim – Acoustic guitar, Rhythm Guitars, Guitar Co-arrangements
Alexander Abi Chaker –Additional percussions, Drums Co-arrangements on tracks (1,2,4,5,8)

Guest Musicians

Michael Mills – Vocals as ‘Utopia’
Thomas Lang – Drums
Dan Veall – Bass
Marco Sfogli – Lead Guitar on tracks (1.2.3.5.8.11)
He who shall not be named, yet!! – Lead Guitar on Track 9
Ōzgūr Abbak – Lead Guitar on Track 6
The City Of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra Conducted by Danny Bou-Maroun
The Lebanese Filmscoring Ensemble – Choirs, String Quartet
Yamane Al Hage – Violin Solo on Tracks (3,8,9)
Jokine Solban – Violin Solo on Track 2
Nobuko Miyazaki – Flutes on Tracks (9,11)
Mohannad Nassar - Oud on Tracks (5,10)
Roger Smith – Cello on Tracks (1,10,12)

Mixed, mastered and re-amped by Jens Bogren at fascination Street Studio, Sweden
Alexandre Moreira – Editing
All vocals, piano, violins, percussions, recorded at the Citadel, Dlebta, Lebanon

Twitter - @Ostruraband
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/osturaband/
     
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Young ensemble cast actually ensembling! (1 more)
Adam Driver on great form
Too many random McGuffins (0 more)
After 42 years - does it leave with a bang or a whimper?
This review will be spoiler-free.

And so we come to the grand conclusion of George Lucas's nine-film vision, and someone can at last put the multi-limbed behemoth in a coffin and nail down the lid. It's certainly been a bumpy ride for this latest trilogy under Disney's stewardship, with rabidly negative fan-boys getting very hot under the collar about 'their baby' being despoiled by the evil empire!

We left the end of the last film with the Rebellion in tatters, reduced to a tiny fleet of ships. (It was truly fortunate that our key players were not on any of the lost ships wasn't it?) Rey (Daisy Ridley) is progressing her Jedi-training under the guidance of a new teacher. But the presence of Kylo-Ren (Adam Driver) is forever there, and their long-distance "psycho-chats" are becoming ever more 'substantial' as the bond between them grows.

But a dark presence from the past has returned, and both are drawn to it in different ways. A showdown between the forces of good and evil is inevitable.

The pace of the film is frenetic and totally exhausting. The first 30 minutes hardly pause for a breath as we zap around from location to location. Where the film really worked better for me was in the quieter and more reflective moments. Kylo Ren is in many of these moments: one, where he visits a very dark place, is well done; and one, where he receives a special visitor, is an interlude that is surprisingly effective. Adam Driver really is in excellent form here; he's never been my favourite actor in the world, but here truly impresses.

One of the problems of the first two films in the trilogy is that it sent all the young leads off in multiple different directions. The result was that there was very little of the interplay of the first films (between Han, Luke and Leia) that made them so memorable. Here that issue is rectified and Poe (Oscar Isaac) and Finn (John Boyega) develop a close onscreen bond with much resultant banter. Ridley's Rey also gets thrown into the mix, with the result that a group hug feels at last normal and right. It's bizarre, but you suddenly realise what was missing here when - FOR THE FIRST TIME - two of the characters get introduced to each other!

A welcome inclusion is that of the late Carrie Fisher as Leia. It's actually extraordinary that they had enough unused footage to be able to weave in a full role for the character into the story. It never feels forced and there were only a few 'hugs' where I found myself thinking "I bet that's not her".

C3PO (Anthony Daniels) also gets much more screen time and has some really nice and comical scenes in here. And a new uni-wheeled robot (voiced by director J.J. Abrams) adds to both the comic potential (and the available Disney merchandise!).

One of the new characters on show is the physically impressive Naomi Ackie as the horse (or something!) riding Jannah. But she's given little to do in the plot.

Elsewhere, there are a whole bunch of famous faces cropping up. Watching the end credit roll is an "OH! That was who that was" revelation in some cases. I won't list them here, since it is delicious to go in blind and have the surprise of seeing them. But some are famous actors from screen and TV, and one is an Abrams' favourite from a past TV glory. The biggest cheer though was reserved for a certain X-wing fighter near the end of the film. A blink-and-you'll-miss-him moment, it was a white-haired appearance to treasure.

What the film does very well (or very badly if you read some reviews) is hark back to the glories of the earlier films, and particularly Episodes IV to VI. Many places are revisited or scenes re-enacted until the place is just SOGGY with nostalgia (to use an old Tom Lehrer line). Although greatly contrived, I enjoyed these scenes immensely.

Making maximum use of the opportunity, John Williams bashes out theme after theme from most of the nine films. The soundtrack really is a "John Williams Greatest Hits" collection. Williams also actually gets a cameo as well - apparently as an eye-patch wearing bar-tender in the Nepalese-like town, though I must admit I missed it. (I've seen comment online that this is his first on-screen appearance: actually not true... he was conducting the orchestra in the "bird-lady's concert hall" in "Home Alone 2").

There are also a huge number of similarities I saw in certain scenes with other cinematic releases outside of the Star Wars universe:

"Raiders of the Lost Ark" - in two particular scenes;
"Dunkirk" - but done properly!
"Dora and the Lost City of Gold" - it doesn't make any physics sense here either!
"Power Rangers" - just because of one of the characters - you'll know the one
"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" - but to say more would be a spoiler!

And there are probably others I've forgotten!

One of my key issues with "The Last Jedi" was the way in which it invented mad-cap tasks, objects and people that had to be completed/found for the plot to be moved forwards. A massive and pointless diversion to a casino planet, for example, was made just to get into a secure area of an imperial vessel: something in this film they 'just do'!

This movie also suffers to a degree from the disease of 'McGuffinitis'. Where's the beacon? There's a dagger that must be found; Where's the interpreter?; etc. It's all very formulaic. But at least in this case, there is a certain logical flow that follows within the plot.

The LP soundtrack of "Star Wars" got me into a lifelong love of film music. One of the last tracks on the soundtrack of the first film was called "The Last Battle". Well, THAT wasn't true! There have been so many space battles since then that we've all lost count. But we all knew this would build to a doozy of a finale, and the film doesn't disappoint. There is utter mayhem in the skies: WILL NOBODY THINK OF THE HENCHMEN'S FAMILIES?

It all drives to a satisfying ending for me and feels like a good closure to the saga. Is it perfect? No, not at all. It really sets itself with too much to do, and then tries to do it all within the available running time. The film will - and has by looking at the volume of IMDB 1* ratings - upset a lot of the fan-boys. But, you know what? Stuff 'em! The film should be judged on how it makes YOU feel as a standalone piece of entertainment, rather than as a part of some sort of pseudo-religious cult. And I personally think Abrams did a pretty decent job here of trying to please most of the people most of the time.

(For the full graphical review, please visit One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2019/12/20/one-manns-movies-film-review-star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-2019/ )
  
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Matthew Krueger (10051 KP) rated 13 Dead End Drive in Tabletop Games

Jul 17, 2020 (Updated Jul 18, 2020)  
13 Dead End Drive
13 Dead End Drive
1993 | Bluff, Deduction, Murder & Mystery
The Traps (3 more)
Its like Clue
Excellent Bluff Game
High replayablity
Dont know who has who (2 more)
Its easy to hit and knock off the traps.
The set up is long
Excellent Murder Mystery Bluff Deduction Game
13 Dead End Drive- is a excellent bluff deduction murder mystery board game. I learned about it through the Funhaus channel. Its like clue but so much different. Let me explain.

13 Dead End Drive is a murder-themed board game originally from Milton Bradley. Released in 1993, it was followed in 2002 by a sequel, 1313 Dead End Drive. Currently, Winning Moves Games USA Winning Moves publishes the game in the USA.

The story behind the game involves the death of a wealthy old woman triggering a feud over her will. The players utilize traps located on the game board, which represents a mansion, to kill characters controlled by other players in order to claim the estate for themselves.

The Gameplay:

At the start of gameplay, players are dealt "Character cards" which correspond to matching pawns on the board. Since there are 12 characters, it is often the case that players control more than one character. However, which player controls which character is not revealed. Along with the character cards, there are also Portrait Cards, which determine who the current favorite for the inheritance is, and Trap Cards, which are used to spring traps and knock off other players.

During each turn, a player rolls two dice and moves two pawns, one pawn for each die. It is legal for players to move a pawn that is not theirs in order to bring it closer to or onto a Trap Space. All pawns must be moved off the red chair spaces before any pawns can be moved a second time or onto a trap space. If a pawn is moved onto a trap space by exact roll only, the player must have the corresponding trap card in his or her possession in order to spring the trap. Springing traps is not mandatory, however. After that, play proceeds on to the next player. A pawn can not pass through or land on the same space as another pawn during the same turn.

During the game, a Portrait Card is displayed in the picture frame above the fireplace. That character is now the current favorite to inherit the fortune. At that moment, for all intents and purposes, that character is now marked for death and must try to escape the mansion before he or she is either knocked off or the portrait changes (see "Special Spaces and Rules" below).

Also, during the game, a Detective is waiting outside, slowly advancing toward the front door. His arrival signifies the reading of the will and the announcement of the winner. The Detective can only move one space at a time, and only when a Detective Card (hidden inside the Trap Card pile) is drawn. There are 13 steps to the front door. If the Detective makes it to the front door before all other characters have been eliminated, the game is over.

Ways to win:
There are three ways to win 13 Dead End Drive:

Be the last character alive.

Escape the Mansion while your character's picture is displayed in the Picture Frame.

Have your character's picture displayed in the Picture Frame when the Detective reaches the front door.

Traps:

13 Dead End Drive has five different booby traps that are used to dispose of other characters. In the story of the game, the traps are designed to make deaths appear accidental. The traps are the Chandelier, the Bookcase, the Stairs, a Statue in a suit of armor, and the Fireplace: if a pawn has the misfortune to land on the trap space in front of or under one of these traps, the Trap card is played and the trap is sprung in the following ways:

To activate the Chandelier, flip a switch in the music room that drops the chandelier onto the pawn, eliminating it from play.
To activate the Bookcase, move that pawn up onto the top of the ladder and rest that pawn on top of the bookcase in the library, and flip a switch that will send the pawn flying back onto the board and eliminating it from play.

In order to activate the Stairs, a player can move it up onto the top of the stairs in the hall and flip a switch that will violently toss the pawn back down the stairs and onto the board, resulting in its elimination.

To activate the Statue, in the gallery, a player can flip a switch that will send a statue in a full suit of armor crashing down onto the pawn.

The Fireplace is activated in the dining room when a player flips a switch that will send the pawn flying backwards and into the figurative fire, though the box describes it as a Trap Door.

When a player moves a pawn onto a Trap Space, they must draw a card from the Trap Card pile (if they do not already have the matching trap card in their possession). If the player draws the matching Trap Card, they can either play it immediately or hold the card for future use. If the player does not have the matching Trap Card, the trap cannot be sprung, but the card can be saved for future use. There are also "Wild" Trap Cards which permit all traps to be used anytime a pawn is in that space. If, however, the player draws a Detective card, the Detective is moved one space forward, but the player is permitted to draw another Trap Card before ending the turn.

Once a trap is sprung, that pawn and the matching Character Card are laid down on the "Discard" pile on the board (the couch). If during the course of play, a Portrait Card comes up for a character that has been knocked off, that card is immediately taken down and placed on the "Discard" pile, revealing a new Portrait. The Portrait cards are shuffled at the beginning of gameplay and concealed by an "Aunt Agatha" portrait card to hide the known deck order.

Special spaces and rules:

Rolling Doubles: If a player rolls doubles that player chooses whether or not to move the current Portrait card to the back of the pack to reveal new Portrait. The player then has the choice of:

Moving one pawn the total number of spaces shown on the dice, or
Moving two pawns, one pawn for each die.
Secret Passages: On the board are special spaces that represent "Secret Passages."

Any character can enter any secret passage at any time, regardless of whether or not it is by exact roll. Moving from one secret passage to another counts as one space move for a character. Secret passages are often used to bring opponent's pawns closer to traps or to bring a player's own pawn closer to the door.

Bluffing: Bluffing is permitted in "13 Dead End Drive." In terms of strategy, a player may move their own pieces towards or even onto trap spaces in an attempt to fool opponents. Even if that player has the matching trap card for the space their own character is on, they do not have to play it. Instead, they can pretend that they do not have the correct card and draw another one. If they happen to draw the right trap card, they can pretend that the card is the wrong one, and play continues as normal.

Its a excellent game, if you like clue than you will love this game. Its a excellent bluff deduction murder mystery game.
  
If I Stay (2014)
If I Stay (2014)
2014 | Drama
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. That’s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that she’s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, she’s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether it’s really even worth it to endure life’s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.

Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.

Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.

First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.

Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.


If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.

(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)