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Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018)
Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018)
2018 | Comedy, Horror
Form-Prefect of the Dead.
The Plot
Meredith Houseman (Simon Pegg) is housemaster of Sparta house in Slaughterhouse school: an ancient public school establishment steering England’s future greats to greatness (which probably explains a lot about the current Brexit mess!). Houseman is not in a happy place, given that his girlfriend is now in deepest darkest African doing “good works” with handsome French doctors, and particularly that she is played by Margot Robbie: I would be also be sad… #punching!

New school starter Don Wallace (Finn Cole) is equally unhappy as he is a northern teen dragooned into attending the school by his well-meaning Mum (Jo Hartley). His strange room-mate Willoughby (Asa Butterfield) seems to be a chronic depressive; he is being picked on by the prefect-bully Clegg (Tom Rhys Harries); and his bed was previously occupied by a Viscount, since deceased under unpleasant circumstances that no-one wants to talk about. At least he has the distraction of the upper-sixth school goddess Clemsie Lawrence (Hermione Corfield) to take his mind off his woes.

All this washes over “The Bat” – the school’s headmaster (Michael Sheen) – since he is engrossed in some shady deal with an evil corporation doing fracking in the school grounds. The fracking though seems to be doing more than just causing a few minor earth tremors, as ancient forces are unleashed.

The Review
The movie is positioned as a “comedy/horror”, along the lines of “Shaun of the Dead”. The film also has Frost and Pegg as executive producers and they also have starring roles in the film. But there the similarities really end: this is a “Cornetto film” without a cone of solid chocolate lurking at the bottom to enjoy.

The script (by director Crispian Mills and first-time screenwriter Henry Fitzherbert) is nowhere near as sharp as the Frost/Pegg scripts for their famous collaborations. The story overall makes precious little sense: it’s a hodge-podge of elements from many Harry Potter films (especially “The Chamber of Secrets”), Lindsay Anderson’s “If…”; and Roy Boulting’s “The Guinea Pig”; with also a sprinkling of the anarchic essence of Michael Palin’s classic “Tomkinson’s Schooldays”. The whole thing never manages to gel into a cohesive whole.

After the second reel, the film completely loses sight of the plot: there’s a whole lot of running, screaming and dying going on but there’s little logic behind any of it that I could fathom. What didn’t help my comprehension of what was going on were some ‘Cornetto-esque’ sequences of manic editing. Images were thrown onto the screen so subliminally that any clever nuance was lost. I’m sure at one point there was a droll (if gross) segue at a “Roman orgy” of a girl receiving oral sex before being ‘eaten out’ in an entirely different way. But you would need a Blu-ray and a frame-by-frame pause function to get the joke.

That’s not to say that I didn’t laugh a few times along the way. There are some sight gags – for example, Wooten (Kit Connor) as the lad at the bottom of the bullying pecking order, chained to a U-bend – that made me laugh, and some running jokes – for example, Frost as the head of the anti-fracking camp offering the kids drugs at every encounter – that mildly amuse. But once again here’s a British comedy that, like the atrocious “The Brits are Coming“, thinks that “funny” largely revolves around swearing a lot – how useful that “frack” sounds so similar to another word – with added bodily dismemberment.

The turns
Pegg and Frost ham it up with their usual comedy schtick well enough, and it was quite fun to see Sheen try a comedy role for a change as the conniving and supercilious headmaster. Elsewhere all the young cast put their hearts into it, but it’s again Asa Butterfield that your eyes gravitate to, due to his striking features. I last saw Asa in the excellent if harrowing WW1 drama “Journey’s End“, and he here proves again that he is a One Mann’s Movies ‘name to watch for the future’.

Final thoughts
There’s a lot to irritate in this film. From the “z” in the title to… well… about 80% of the film. There is no nuance or subtlety to either the writing or the direction. I think that’s a great shame. The film has a good premise hidden in there. An adult comedy set around the ridiculous rules and rites of public schools (away from the light nonsense of “St Trinians”) is overdue. And the whole subject of fracking, and the conflicts surrounding the controversial techniques, hasn’t yet – to my knowledge – been explored in a fictional movie. The film does have a few very funny moments. But as a whole I left the cinema with that “wasted two hours” feeling. Not recommended.
  
Bunny Party at Maple Valley
Bunny Party at Maple Valley
2021 | Animals, Card Game, Humor
What kinds of pets did you have growing up? My family was allowed one dog throughout my formative years, and I even tried to keep a turtle once in college. I have not ever had rabbits, but my brother did – Brewster. He was a cool bunny. Kinda freaked out sometimes and made a huge mess, but overall a nice little fella. I am trying to imagine an entire village of Brewsters planning a party and inviting all their friends. I can’t really do it, but now I don’t have to – there’s a game I can play.

Bunny Party at Maple Valley (which I shall refer to as simply Bunny Party from here) is a sweet and cute little card game for three or four players. In it players are the titular bunnies decorating for and competing to win the chance to host the Night Sky Party at their place. However, in this game more often than not the victory is shared between they who amass the requisite five decorations and their neighbor who also co-hosts the event! The bunnies gotta get crackin’ so let’s get going!

PS – I will be reviewing the 3-player version of the game, which has ever-so-slightly different rules.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup, character cards are shuffled and two dealt to each player. They choose one to be their avatar and discard the other back to the box. The large deck of cards with the house on the back is shuffled and placed on the table within reach. The villager cards are shuffled and one is drawn and placed outside the play area – it will not be used this round. The other five villagers are arranged as a market of friends. Each player draws three cards on the first round, and the game is ready to begin!
Bunny Party is played over a series of rounds until one player satisfies the win condition. Each round consists of eight phases: Turn Start, Tidy a Card, Villagers Visit, Play Cards, Trade, Play Cards (again), Party Start?, and Villagers Go Home. Turn Start typically involves players setting the table for the round. First, the villager cards are re-shuffled, one set aside to be ignored this round (they are staying home), and the remainders displayed. Then each player draws two cards from the deck and collects one Trade Token.

Next, all players will choose one of their cards they drew during the Tidy a Card step to be placed in a temporary discard pile face-down. Alternatively, a player may forego the Tidy in order to place a card in front of another player by spending one Trade Token. Once all players have tidied a card or placed one in front of another player, the Tidy pile is shuffled, then flipped as a stack to the top of the discard pile, face-up.

The villagers are now becoming impatient, so players will allow them audience during this Villagers Visit phase. Each player chooses a villager from those available to host during their party preparation. These villagers offer special abilities each round and can be very valuable at certain times during the game.

While the villagers are visiting, players may next Play Cards from their hand. These cards are typically of three types: Item, Event, or Decoration. Item cards are placed in the player’s tableau and offer one-time or lingering effects. Event cards are typically one-and-done cards to be completed and then discarded. Decorations are what players are really after, as they are what determine win conditions. With five star or moon cards the player can start the party and end the game. At the bottom of the decoration cards is printed an arrow. This arrow points to the neighbor that will co-host and also win the game. In a three-player game Decoration cards are displayed upside down, so that is why the photo below looks a little strange.

When players have all played their hand of cards, the Trade phase may begin. Players may offer Item cards to other players and a trade may be struck by each player discarding a Trade Token from their stash. This may result in a player receiving a new card to be played. When this happens, the next phase is immediately played (after all trades have been completed). Any player who now holds an unplayed card may Play Cards (again) as before.

If a player (or players) have now collected five or more star or moon Decoration cards, they may claim victory during this Party Start? phase. Again, the Decoration cards have arrows printed to determine the co-host/co-victor in the game, and the winners may then invite the rest of the burrow to their den for the Night Sky Party! However, if no victor emerges during the Party Start? phase, then all the Villagers Go Home, and a new round begins with the Turn Start phase.


Play continues in this fashion until winners have been crowned host and co-host of the Night Sky Party in Maple Valley!
Components. This one is a bunch of cards a few cardboard chits. The cards are all fine quality, as are the chits. What is really great about these components is the art on them. I cannot think of many cuter themes than uber-nice bunnies throwing a party and sharing their victory with a neighbor. So obviously the art has to match the theme, tone, and style of the game. I believe Bunny Party knocks it out of the park here. The art is so playful and cute, and I absolutely have to give a huge shout out to Evan’s Games for the very apparent inclusivity and representation. I see you and I applaud you!

Gameplay for me is where I take just a little issue. Everything works, and once you understand the phases it does flow better, but, I can see myself really only playing this with children or in a gateway/breaking in new gamers situation. It is very light, but there are eight phases to a round! So while each phase is easy to understand and execute, each round takes a little longer because there are a few too many steps. Once my kids really know how to read well they will be playing this with me and I know right now that we will have a great time with it. I really do appreciate the special efforts that were made with regards to representation (yes, even with anthropomorphic cartoon animals) and with the design being more focused on sharing victory and being nice to neighbors. My children will certain have good habits reinforced while playing this, and that is what makes this game important.

Again, this is not the game for hardcore gamers, nor those who are interested in bigger and more complex medium-weight games. This is a quick filler at best during a game night when newer gamers are gathered. That being said, I still find a great deal of value in this one, and will be keeping it for a long time. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a 4 / 6 on stand-by. I do want to try this with different types of people (once we are able again) to see if my predictions are correct. I have only been able to play it with adult family, and none of them are medium to heavy weight game enthusiasts. If you are needing a nice game that can be played among other games for a themed game night (like Bunny Party + Bob Ross: Art of Chill + Hues and Cues + Escape: The Curse of the Temple) then this certainly fits that niche.

So my official stance, for now, is that Bunny Party has a great theme, excellent art, a wonderful message of harmony, but is both too light and too complex for what it is. I realize that sounds ridiculous. Please try it and let me know your thoughts. For now, I am keeping this close and I will be trying it with various groups with whom I game.
  
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Debbiereadsbook (1056 KP) rated From A Jack To A King in Books

Jul 3, 2018 (Updated Jan 31, 2019)  
From A Jack To A King
From A Jack To A King
Scotty Cade | 2018 | LGBTQ+, Romance
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
bloody LOVED this book! and the narration!
Independent reviewer for Divine Magazine, I was gifted both the ebook AND audio version of this book.

First half of this review is from when I READ it, the second half is the audio bit.

Oh it's been a while since I had my Scotty Cade fix, and this proper hit THAT spot!

Bay is, by his own words, pretty much a recluse. Save for promoting his latest book and getting his gambling hit, he doesn't get out much. And when he DOES, he uses his character Jack as his alter ego. Winning escort King in a card game, and coming face to face with the spitting image of Jack knocks Bay off his axis. Just as meeting Bay knocks King off of his. King doesn't see Jack, he sees BAY. He also sees that Bay might be the one to halt his recovery.

I will be honest here, cos ya'll know I'm all about sharing, and tell you, I walked into this one a little wary. I've read a couple of other porn star books and had pretty much decided that I didn't like that particular troupe, and I wouldn't read any more. But this came up, and, I mean, its' Scotty Cade for heaven's sake! So I signed up and I was so very NOT disappointed!

What this one did, what made it stand out, was there was very little "work" time for King, once he and Bay had met. There is a scene before, and one after. But the one after is a huge part of the story; a necessary and integral part.

I loved that it's nearly to the end of the book before Bay and King come together properly. Loved that Bay put his research skills to good use; both for helping King with his recovery and watching all those videos to further his relationship with King.

Loved that while previously only ever having been with women, Bay didn't seem overly perturbed by his attraction to King. OH, he questioned his sexuality, many many times, but he wasn't particularly bothered by it!

There are some difficult topics dealt with here. Bullying and how that effects Bay as an adult. Sex addiction and how that makes King so very wary of what he feels for Bay so very VERY early on. Both topics are dealt with well and with sensitivity, but some readers may struggle with them.

I have just one teeny tiny niggle, but it doesn't affect my rating or my overall enjoyment of this book. It's just ME, being a little bit picky!

I would have liked, just once, while Bay and King are up close and personal, for Bay to have used King's given name, and not his "stage" name. That's all! Told you it was me being picky!

Mr Cade has a particular knack of writing with emotion; of being able to make you cry in really random places along with his characters; of being able to grab at your heart strings, tug them, snap them and put them back together again! And I bloody loved this book for that!!

I read this in one sitting, stayed up way past my bedtime to finish this! Loved it!!

5 full and shiny stars!

AUDIO REVIEW

Kenneth Obi narrates. And Mr Obi is growing on me for several reasons. As I see more and more books narrated by him, I can see his skill set growing. A quick search shows far more books that I expected, but the oldest is only November 2017, so he is still fairly new at this, and in the time since I listened to the other one he narrated that is in my library, I can hear a difference.

Obi's voice for Bay was. . . unexpected. I've no idea WHY, but that was my first thought. He sounds almost too young, but as I listened, I realised it fit Bay, PERFECTLY, it really did. I LOVED Bay's voice, I really did.

Obi's reading voice is clear and even, his voices for ALL the characters are clear and distinct enough for my crappy hearing to make them out. It was my only real criticism in the last book I listened to of his work, the voices were too similar for my crappy hearing to keep up. NOT so here.

The scenes for King and Bay getting up close and personal came over way more. . .what's the word. . . whats. . . .the. . .word. . . intense? maybe? I dunno, can't find that right word, and I hate not being able to do that, but they came across all kinds of different to when I read it. An AMAZING different though, cos Obi got out all the emotions that you don't always pick up when reading. The hitches and dips in the voices, the little noises, they don't always come across well on paper but HEARING them?? Oh yes Sir, intense is the right word!

I stand by what I said in my read review though! I would have liked, just once, while Bay and King are up close and personal, for Bay to have used King's given name, and not his "stage" name. That's all!

Watch out for Mr Obi, he's now firmly on my list!!

5 stars for the book
5 stars for the narration
5 stars overall.

**same worded review will appear elsewhere**
  
Anchorman - The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Anchorman - The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (2004)
2004 | Comedy
How in the world do you review a film like Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy? The film is meant to be as ridiculous as possible with outrageous performances and a paper thin storyline; half of its charm is its overuse of improvisation. You either found its absurd nature hilarious and consider it one of the funniest films ever (and completely ignore the horrid sequel) or hate it for being a nonsensical comedy filled with a cast of immature people who can’t hold a straight face for a single take. It’s honestly difficult to argue either perspective, but the 20-year-old version of this critic who saw this film and adored it would drop dead if he found out that it doesn’t hold up as well nearly 15 years later.

It’s 1974 and on the local San Diego news station KVWN channel 4 newscaster Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) is king since channel 4 is always number one in the ratings. His news team consists of sports newscaster Champ Kind (David Koechner), investigative news reporter Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), and weatherman Brick Tamland (Steve Carell). Up until this point, only men were allowed to read the news but a new female co-anchor named Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) is hired by channel 4 and has bigger plans. Veronica is ambitious, has a ton of experience, and envisions herself as one day becoming a lead network anchor. Tensions rise and feuds flare up, but times are changing and it’s something everyone, including Ron Burgundy, is going to have to deal with.

Anchorman is a tricky comedy because it throws all of its success into this random formula. There is a plot, but it takes a backseat to the memorable and hysterical one-liners from the film. These one-liners are phrases that you’ll be saying for years to come as a few will likely become household favorites if you or your family has any sort of taste whatsoever. With the absolute blessing of owning so many cats, a common phrase from Anchorman that gets repeated around here on a regular basis is, “You will eat that cat poop!” With a comedy this spontaneous, it’s difficult to comment on aspects such as the story since it shouldn’t be taken as seriously as a film where the story actually matters. Anchorman isn’t trying to win any awards. This is a film that is only trying to make its audience laugh and if it does that then it has to be successful in some sort of capacity. The cast absolutely embodies these characters to a fairly flawless extent. Being so absorbed in these roles makes the absurdity more believable and slightly easier to swallow.

Before Will Ferrell became unbearable, the holy trinity of Will Ferrell comedies were Step Brothers, Anchorman, and Talladega Nights; in that order (unless his cameo in Wedding Crashers counts). This was the early and late 2000s before Farrell’s on-screen antics had grown stale. Most of Farrell’s films follow the same generic formula; a nonexistent plot followed by a series of aimless one-liners and spitfire jokes that come out of nowhere. Ferrell’s career is well past the redundant stage as his more serious roles show more promise these days than his exasperating comedies. That formula was still working with Anchorman and it seems to have worked for many other who saw it as the film garnered a cult status over time.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy isn’t going to be for everyone and it’s totally understandable if you or someone you know downright hates the film. It is absolutely moronic in its execution, but for those who love it that is why it’s as funny as it is. There isn’t a riveting story, impressive character development, or a steady buildup towards anything worthwhile (unless Jack Black dropkicking a fake dog off of an overpass counts as a proper climax). Anchorman has the attention span of a Family Guy cutaway gag. If you enjoy Family Guy, then Anchorman is probably one of your favorite movies.

This is like getting together with a bunch of friends and laughing at stupid stuff because you’re loaded on sugar, but Anchorman stretches out that feeling for an hour and a half; it’s a 90-minute sugar rush with no breaks. It’s like snorting Pixie Stix and laughing like an idiot for an hour straight or chugging a two-liter Coke and inhaling seven packets of Pop Rocks and laughing at your stomach not exploding. You don’t watch Anchorman to ponder your life choices or be amazed at technical achievements in filmmaking. This is a paper thin comedy that only wants to make you laugh and forget about how hard it is to make adult decisions in the overly intimidating modern world for a short hour and a half time period. If Anchorman can accomplish all of that and you quote it like a giggling idiot, then the two of us have something in common and Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy should be considered as a masterwork in hilarious idiocy.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy is currently available to rent via Amazon Video, Youtube, Vudu, and Google Play for $2.99 and through iTunes for $3.99. The Unrated DVD is available as an add-on item through Amazon for $3.99, multi-format Blu-ray for $6.98, and the unrated Rich Mahogany Blu-ray for $5.99. It’s also available on DVD ($2.45) and Blu-ray ($3.65) through eBay with free shipping.
  
Good Boys (2019)
Good Boys (2019)
2019 | Comedy
Laugh out loud funny at times. (0 more)
Repetitive. (1 more)
Too similar to other R-rated teen comedies.
Thor Casts Anal Bead Nunchucks
“Bean Bag Boys for life!” In Good Boys, that’s the motto for three 12-year-old best friends that are finding the sixth grade way more profound and coercing than the fifth grade or any other grade before it ever was. Max (Jacob Tremblay) is at the age where girls aren’t so gross and are actually quite arousing, Thor (Brady Noon) is giving up on who he is and what he loves in a bold attempt to try to fit in with kids who he thinks are cool, and Lucas (Keith L. Williams) mostly just loves Magic: The Gathering, treating women with respect, and being honest.

Two weeks into sixth grade and the boys find themselves invited to their first party, but the catch is that it’s a kissing party and none of them know how to kiss. They use Max’s dad’s drone to spy on high school girls Hannah (Molly Gordon) and Lily (Midori Francis), but the girls end up capturing the drone and holding it for ransom. After a face-to-face meeting goes south, Thor steals Hannah’s purse which includes two capsules of Molly/ecstasy in a kid’s chewy vitamins bottle. Now in possession of illegal drugs after skipping school and using Max’s dad’s drone without permission while he’s out of town, the boys need to figure out a way to get the drone back home without his dad knowing so Max won’t get grounded all so they can still attend the kissing party and become legends of the sixth grade.

Good Boys is co-written and co-directed (only Stupnitsky received credit) by Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg (writers of Year One and Bad Teacher). The film is produced by Seth Green’s Point Grey Pictures and Good Universe (both Neighbors films, The Disaster Artist, Long Shot). This is all worth mentioning to get an idea of what you’re diving into if you plan on seeing this film. The R-rated comedy attempts to capture what Superbad did for teenagers over a decade ago, but replaces the teenage element with tweens. Whether they’re successful or not is entirely up to you.

There are some decent laugh-out-loud moments in Good Boys, but their long-lasting effect is short-lived because Stupnitsky and Eisenberg decided to repeat those laugh out loud moments over and over again to the point of annoyance. The main laughs of the film come from the boys trying to talk about adult things they don’t fully understand (cum pronounced as koom, a sex doll being a CPR dummy, a nymphomaniac is someone who likes to have sex at sea and on land, etc), thinking sex toys are weapons, and still not being able to get past the child proof lid on a vitamin bottle. These are all funny at first, but all the gags in the film fall under the same handful of categories and essentially feel like Stupnitsky and Eisenberg didn’t have enough creativity in the script writing process to think outside a smattering of raunch.

The typo’d “porb” sequence where the boys attempt to look up how to kiss on the internet, the crossing the busy highway on the way to the mall sequence, and Lucas being so adamant about a woman’s consent are more humorous elements because they’re not as overplayed into the ground; even the opening where Max is on the verge of masturbation seems like a cheap knock off of what Not Another Teen Movie did in its opening sequence nearly 20 years ago. In comparison, Olivia Wilde’s Booksmart from earlier this year was labeled as a female version of Superbad. The Superbad influence is there, but Booksmart adds a refreshing female perspective and explores what the future means for the main characters to a more satisfying extent.

Growing up and what that means to a 12-year-old is explored in Good Boys, but it seems awkward. You’re on the verge of becoming a teenager, which shouldn’t mean all that much for you other than attending a new school. Lucas’ parents are in the middle of a divorce and Thor is trying to be something he isn’t just for his reputation. The characters learn something over the course of the film because of this, but the entire maturing angle doesn’t feel right. Part of it is meant to be ridiculous, especially after Lucas says something like, “I’ve grown up a lot in the past two hours,” and it’s cool that the film goes out of its way to tell the audience to never be ashamed of what you love, but it all feels sloppy and thrown together at the last minute.

This is the first R-rated film to ever have a rating that includes, “all involving tweens,” and this could be seen as the Superbad of this generation, but Good Boys simply doesn’t differentiate itself from the high school and college R-rated comedies that came before it to be memorable or enjoyable. It will likely be a crowd pleaser anyway since the theater I was in was full of laughs from the general public, but its charm is ruined so early on and that’s a painful thing to say when your film is only 90 minutes long. Good Boys may be outrageous and funny at times, but its generic formula destroys what little entertainment value it potentially had.
  
Mortal Engines (2018)
Mortal Engines (2018)
2018 | Fantasy, Sci-Fi
Take a moment and imagine a world where most of humanity has been wiped off the map and those that remain are forced to survive on the remaining resources of a civilization that has been torn apart. In this new existence, leftover technology is coveted like diamonds and massive predator cities prey on weaker smaller cities to steal whatever meager resources they still possess. This is the world of Mortal Engines, the latest Peter Jackson blockbuster based on the young adult novel of the same name by Philip Reeves.

Mortal Engines takes place roughly a thousand years after the conclusion of the Sixty Minute War that decimated the earth and now civilization has banded into two very distinct groups. There are those in the “Traction Cities”, which are behemoth mobile cities that scour what remains of Europe gobbling up smaller cities to convert them and their resources into fuel that keeps the larger cities moving. Then there is the Anti-Traction League, a group that believes in preserving what little resources remain and living in “Traction-less” cities…a.k.a. cities built on land. London is the main Traction City and it is led by Thaddeus Valentine (Hugo Weaving) and his desire to tear down a great wall that is the only barrier between London and the surplus of resources that he so desperately needs.

After London devours one of the smaller cities, we are introduced to Hester Shaw (Hera Hilmar), whose one goal in life is to kill Thaddeus Valentine, the man who murdered her mother. After her failed assassination attempt on his life, she teams up with historian Tom Natsworthy (Robert Sheehan) to not only survive, but also to prevent Valentine’s plan to recreate the war that took down humanity in the first place. This is a big job for the unlikely duo and on top of everything else, Hester is being hunted by a zombie/terminator hybrid named Shrike who wants nothing more than to kill her.

If it sounds like a lot to follow over the course of the two hours and nine-minute run time, you’d be right. In fact, without a lot of backstory which those who have read the novels will really benefit from, it can be a bit too much to take in. It comes across as a combination of Mad Max and the video game Dishonored, but it is lacking an excellent story to back up all of the post-apocalyptic action. That’s not to say that the story is bad, but it is by far the weakest part of the film and a huge missed opportunity to elevate a pretty good movie to the classic Peter Jackson masterpiece status we usually get from him. Considering the genius of Mr. Jackson this movie could have been so much more.

But now on to the good stuff…

Visually speaking Mortal Engines is a true work of art. Taking the steampunk Victorian era backdrop and adding in large mobile cities crashing through trees and forests gives us visuals that are not only magnificent, but also awe inspiring. I was lucky enough to see Mortal Engines in IMAX and the larger screen only helped to emphasize how truly awesome these large rolling cities are. This is a movie that is meant to be seen on the big screen, and with Mortal Engines, the bigger the better. The sound design matches the visuals in its epic scale, as it is loud and menacing. You can actually feel the rumble of the large treads as they move across the earth, and the crunching of smaller cities as the massive cities devour all that crosses their path. The casting and the acting were another positive as the good characters were ones you wanted to root for and the bad characters you hope would get what’s coming to them. All in all, there is quite a bit to like in this film and if nothing else you are sure to have a good time taking in all of the scenery.

In summary, Mortal Engines is a movie that feels as though it had so much potential but couldn’t quite live up to it. It definitely feels more like a summer blockbuster, full of explosions and action, instead of the deeper holiday releases that we usually get around this time. It’s the kind of movie that you go to see for the sheer spectacle of it all as long as you are willing to overlook any plot or story depth. Unfortunately, this leaves the quandary of whether or not it’s worth the full price of admission (or even more if you are planning to see it in IMAX) and my answer to that is…it depends. If you have any interest in seeing it at all then Mortal Engines is definitely a movie you should see on the big screen. On the other hand, it might be worth it to just wait to see it on pay-per-view or Blu-ray even though it may lose a lot of what makes the movie so much fun in the first place. While the movie could have been better, I have definitely seen worse and if the idea of massive rolling cities and steampunk set pieces are your thing, then Mortal Engines is certainly worth a look.
  
Kleptokittens!
Kleptokittens!
2021 | Kids Game, Memory
Growing up, I didn’t really have pets. We had a couple hamsters, fish, and even a turtle for a bit, but nothing that lived outside of a cage/tank. My cousins had cats, and I remember I loved going to visit them and play with the kitties! Many a time, a small item (be it a sock, shoe, Beanie Baby, you name it) would be ‘misplaced’ by its human owner, only to later be found in one of the cat beds. So when I heard about Kleptokittens!, it was a hilariously real theme that I knew I had to try out. Keep reading to see if this game has been missing from your life!

Disclaimer: We were provided with a Tabletop Simulator version of this game for the purposes of this preview. The images below are screenshots from my plays. The components may not be finalized and could change after a successful Kickstarter campaign. -L

Kleptokittens! is a memory game of push your luck in which players are trying to amass the most points over the course of 5 rounds. Setup is simple – shuffle the deck of cards, and then lay them out face-down in a grid. Each player receives a Stash player mat, and the point tokens are set off to the side. Grab a timer, choose a starting player, and you are good to go!

On your turn, you will have 30 seconds to flip over cards and match as many pairs as possible. If you turn over a match, leave them face-up, and continue flipping cards. If the 2 cards you revealed do not match, flip them back face-down and keep looking for a pair. At the end of the 30 seconds, count up the number of matches you found, and take as many treasure tokens to your Stash. The game then moves to the next player, the cards are reset (either flipped back facedown, or shuffled and placed anew for an added challenge) and the game continues until all players have had a turn. That signifies the end of the first round. A new round commences as before, and the game keeps going until 5 rounds have been completed. The player who has amassed the most treasure tokens is named the winner!


Seems simple enough, right? Well, there are a couple of twists. If, at any point in your turn, you reveal a Spray Bottle, your turn immediately ends, regardless of how much time is remaining on your timer. You will then only score your last match made, and any previous matches this turn are lost! How much are you willing to push your luck to make matches? Or should you play it safe and quit while you’re ahead? It’s ultimately up to you! Conversely, you could also flip over a Catnip card. Catnip cards are collected to your Stash and are score multipliers at the end of the game! Put your memory to the test, and see how far you are willing to push your luck in hopes of coming out victorious.
At its core, Kleptokittens! is a matching/memory game, and the gameplay is pretty straightforward. The Spray Bottle and Catnip cards add that small element of push your luck that really helps elevate it beyond a simple matching game. You’ve got 3 matches – should you risk going for a 4th, and thus take the lead? Or should you play it safe, since you can’t remember exactly where you last saw that Spray Bottle card? There are some real stakes in this game, and that keeps the gameplay engaging for everyone. Another great thing about Kleptokittens? It’s really accessible for younger gamers! Matching and memory games are great for development in children. And it’s not every day that you find a game fun for adults that can also be played by the littles. The gameplay can be tailored to the group as well. Got a bunch of junior gamers? Maybe take out the Spray Bottle and Catnip cards for now and extend that timer to 1 full minute. Playing with a bunch of adult friends? Try re-shuffling the deck after every player so nobody can rely on the previous player’s grid for their memory of card placements. You can play this game with just about anyone, and that is the sign of a good game to me.


As mentioned earlier, this was a Tabletop Simulator version of the game, so I can’t really talk too much about component quality. I will say however that the art style is cute and fun, and matches the lighthearted feel of the game. The digital version of the game looks great, and I can’t wait to see how the physical version turns out!
Overall, I think that Kleptokittens! is a fun little filler game. A memory/matching game isn’t that novel these days, but the addition of the push your luck element makes for a unique gameplay that feels fun and fresh. The theme is cute, the gameplay is straightforward and simple to understand, and it can be played with gamers of all ages – so what’s not to love? If you’re in the market for something light and fun, I would recommend checking out Kleptokittens! It hits Kickstarter on June 23, 2021, so be sure to snatch it up like kittens snatch up little treasures in this game!
  
A Court of Thorns and Roses
A Court of Thorns and Roses
Sarah J. Maas | 2015 | Young Adult (YA)
8
8.7 (107 Ratings)
Book Rating
After reading the Throne of Glass series, I didn't think that I could love SJM's next series as much. How could it compare? It doesn't, but not in a bad way. While it's also a book about the Fae, a Court of Thorns and Roses is set in an entirely different world with its own set of unique characters. It is also vaguely a retelling, or reimagining, of the Beauty and the Beast fairytale, which I loved. The human and Fae worlds are separated by an invisible wall and a Treaty that was crafted after a brutal war which took place 500 years earlier.

We are first introduced to Feyre, a girl who tries to take care of her family as best she can despite being the youngest. It is on one of her trip into the forest to feed her family when she stumbles across the path of a wolf whilst hunting a deer. After shooting and killing both animals, she skins the wolf and carries the deer home for food. Unfortunately for her, the wolf was actually a Fae male and her actions force her to make a choice. Either be killed or live forevermore in the Fae realm.

It is not much of a choice and Feyre chooses to go with Tamlin to his estate in Prythian, the land of the Fae. Tamlin, she later discovers is not only a High Fae, but the Lord of the Spring Court and much more powerful than she realized. He is joined by Lucien, another High Fae who is originally from the Autumn Court and not much else besides a few workers. The large estate seems empty and a little bit sad.

As one can expect from a Beauty and the Beast retelling, the girl must fall in love with the shapeshifting Fae beast to break a curse. the curse is not known to the reader or Feyre until the end of the book. She must fight to prove her love under the most harrowing of situations and trials.

A must read, especially if you wish to find out what happens. Highly recommended for teen/young adult readers who like fantasy, supernatural creatures and magic. The world building is amazing, the magic is awe inspiring and the lands are populated by a variety of characters from the heroes to the villains, the cowards, the friends and the just plain misunderstood.

Reread Feelings:
Slight spoiler warning for ACOTAR and ACOWAR.

A second read-through of a Court of Thornes and Roses let me to notice a lot more details that I had missed during my first introduction to the world. The inspiration that the novel drew from Beauty and the Beast was also more prevalent than I had realized. Her family life and desire to protect those she loves is directly pulled and inspired by the original novel. Tamlin’s beast form and temper are also reminiscent of the Beast in the story.

Knowing how the book ends and what happens in ACOMAF, you can more clearly see the actions and personality of Tamlin. He is very protective of Feyre and a little bit controlling, but without any direct threat to her life it is not as apparent. The events that occurred Under the Mountain pushed him over the edge and turned that protectiveness dark. It became corrupted and too strong to be overlooked. He also has an explosive temper and anger, but you see it less frequently as the book goes on. That doesn’t mean it goes away, so his personality in the second book is not as surprising as I thought it was my first time reading the series. It still like him in this series, but I don’t love him as much as I did during the first read through.

The incredible world of Prythian is just so packed with different faeries, Courts, and intense story that you can’t focus on everything the first time you read it. You discover more magic the second, or third, time you read through the book because you know the story and can now also focus on the read of the world building and character development. To me, that is fantastic writing when you can always discover something new hidden in a book you love.

I fell in love with the series even more on the second read-through, especially Rhysand. You truly appreciate just how much he did for Feyre, not just healing her arm when she was on death’s door but mentally and emotionally supporting her when she was ready to give up. He puts on a dark front, but his every action belies his true feelings. Rhys lies to Amarantha about the identity of Tamlin’s human love, even though it could mean his end and his people’s if she discovers the truth. On multiple occasions, he plays the bad guy to maintain a façade but secretly does good. I appreciated and recognized his acts a lot more the second time reading, and it made me fall in love with his character even more.

Even though I know what happens in the book, the emotions are still so prevalent. You ride the story’s highs and lows, feel yourself filling with light when there is goodness, and fear for the dark. I can’t even describe my feelings. I was walking around my room reading the final pages as Feyre is being hurt – and someone calls out her name. I just sort of collapsed to the ground, with my hand on my heart and my feelings bursting from my chest about that particular Fae male. You could almost hear the pain and horror in his voice as he cried out for her, and it destroyed me. The final moments of the book were so beautiful and made me a little teary.
  
On Fire: a Teen Wolf Novel
On Fire: a Teen Wolf Novel
Nancy Holder | 2012 | Paranormal, Science Fiction/Fantasy
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Favorite TV show (1 more)
Great side story
A lot of typos (0 more)
Nancy Holder is known in the literary world for her novel adaptations of TV shows, such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Smallville, which has made her the go-to author for popular teen shows. With her ability to mesh together a story with what is going on within the TV show, I'm not surprised that she was picked to adapt MTV's 'Teen Wolf' into a novel. Having only read this book by her, On Fire: a Teen Wolf Novel, is definitely a successful must-read for fans of the show.

Do you need to have watched the show to understand what is going on in the novel? Yes, because the book does backtrack, but unless you've watched at least season one, you will have no idea what is going on. But if you have watched the first season, On Fire will fill in the small gaps that was left out of the TV show's story without losing the characteristics of our favorite cast members.

This is a 'young adult' book, so you can expect the usual tropes like teen drama and romance - - - if you can get past that, the story can be enjoyable. The main characters are different enough to keep interest going, there are werewolves, and some men with guns. But I do have to say that I felt Allison's character was flat and boring in 'On Fire.'

The story gets underway when the main character, Scott, finds out that his girlfriend's best friend's boyfriend, Jackson, has gone missing. Scott and his girlfriend, Allison, decide to go look for him at the last place his phone's GPS blinked at, but Scott is using this just as an excuse to hang out with his girlfriend because Jackson is a sworn enemy of his. As I have said, if you haven't at least watched season one of MTV's Teen Wolf, you'll be pretty lost in the beginning of the story because there are no introductions to these characters, since it seems Holder was writing this specifically for fans of the TV show (I am a huge fan of the series, and highly recommend it to people who love mythical creatures, such as werewolves and banshees).

On the other side of the story, viewers of the show get to see Derek Hale and Kate Argent's backstory, which Derek is a werewolf and Kate is a werewolf hunter, the two had a quick romance, but it turned out to be a lie on Kate's side. This side of the story will make fans of the show happy because the series only gave hints towards the fake romance between the two characters, while Holder shows us exactly what happened. From Derek meeting Kate when he is only 17-years-old, and she older, to her burning the Hale household to the ground with most of Derek's family inside of it--- because she hunts werewolves, of course.

Meanwhile, both Derek and Scott have been having nightmares about an Alpha wolf, that seems to either want both of them dead or to join his pack. Worse of all, Scott and Derek both end up at the forest preserve that the dreams took place in, which both feel another wolf presence while being there. Since they both sense this, they start to wonder if Jackson's disappearance is a trap set by the Alpha.

During all of this, Jackson's girlfriend, Lydia, and his best friend Danny, are also searching for Jackson or any clue as to why he suddenly disappeared, which this has nothing to do with what actually happens to Jackson in the TV series. I think the best parts of this book are the scenes without Scott and Allison, who spend the majority of the time trying to make-out while doing a half-ass job searching for the lost friend. As I said before, if you can get past the teen romance, the story is actually really good. Especially my favorite character, Stiles, who had the best description in the entire book: "Life in his[Stiles] head was accompanied by the soundtrack of a small, eternal, dull ache, but word was that would go away after a few decades."

If you have watched the show, you'll be glad to know that this book isn't just an adaptation of season two--- this one has a different story in it that wasn't in the show. Without giving too much away, we get a different glimpse of Jackson's personality and problems he has dealt with much of his life. The book isn't a necessary read for fans, but it gives us a little bit more of the Teen Wolf world to read about, such as introductions of new characters (like a high school girl named Cassie), who never made it to the TV series. While reading this book, it can tempt readers to go back or even start watching the MTV series. I warn you, though, once you start watching, you won't be able to stop. Binge fest anyone?

There were a few inconsistencies, and a whole lot of typos--- whoever the editor was, was apparently not paying attention, but the story is good and the characters are unique. I recommend this to people who have watched the series, and to those who love mythical creatures. But I do wholeheartedly recommend you watch season one before attempting to read this novel, otherwise, you will be lost!

For more paranormal and fantasy book reviews, check out my blog at GoreAndTea.com
  
Tomorrowland (2015)
Tomorrowland (2015)
2015 | Sci-Fi
I have to be honest. I was confused when I first heard that a movie was being made called Tomorrowland, and even more so when I heard it that actually is based on the themed area of Disney parks. How could they do it? What would it be about? It was strange. The teaser trailer didn’t give a whole lot away either (as teasers are designed to do). When I saw the full trailer, I had a little more understanding, and it definitely piqued my interest, but I was still totally in the dark. And I wanted to see the movie! I guess Disney really did their job right.

In this film, Tomorrowland is a place of unlimited possibilities. Another dimension, where the inhabitants of that dimension actively seek out intelligent people, inventors, who can do something that can change the world for the better. We begin at the 1964 World Fair in New York where we see a young Frank Walker (Thomas Robinson) entering into the inventor’s competition with a jetpack that doesn’t quite work. However, a mysterious young woman named Athena (Raffey Cassidy) takes an interest in him, offers him a pin and instructs him to follow her. Thus begins Frank’s adventure and we move forward in time to the present day, where we meet Casey Newton (Britt Robertson).

Casey is the teenage daughter of a NASA engineer, who is no slough in the intelligence department herself. We are introduced to her as she is sabotaging equipment at a NASA launch pad that is scheduled to be taken down, which will leave her father without a job. We see Athena again, who has mysteriously not aged, leaving a pin for Casey to discover Tomorrowland on her own. Only, this pin is a simple advertisement. We soon learn that something has gone terribly wrong, and our world is in danger. Athena leads Casey to an aged Frank Walker (George Clooney), who has since been banished from Tomorrowland, but still feeds off of their signal and sits and waits for the end of the world, which he knows when it will happen. But he and Athena see something in Casey that will help save both Tomorrowland, and our world.

Given the conversations, the imagery, and the theme of this movie, it is clearly targeted towards children more than adults. Though, there is plenty for an adult to enjoy about the movie, it is important to understand that the movie is clearly targeted to a younger audience. I say this because I feel, as did my guests who attended the press screening, that the main plot device, the main conflict of the movie, is far too complex a concept for this younger audience to understand. So before you read any further, spoiler alert. You have been forewarned. If you do not want to know, skip the next two paragraphs.

The idea here is that Frank Walker built a machine that could see any point in time. Past, future or present. With this machine, he saw the end of our world. The proposed resolution to stop the destruction of earth is this: turn off the machine. The argument being that the world ends because we see it ending. It becomes a fixation of our mind, and so it will happen. Apparently, the people of Tomorrowland have been streaming this information to Earth for years, but instead of taking steps to prevent it, Earth has embraced it. One of my favorite lines, delivered by one of my favorite actors (Hugh Laurie) indicated that we had simultaneous epidemics of obesity and starvation on Earth. It’s mind boggling. But the Casey comes up with the brilliant idea of turning it off, which will prevent the destruction of Earth because people will no longer be so focused on it. It’s a little more complicated than that, but this is the gist of it. Way too complex for your average child to comprehend.

Another part of the resolution and the end of the movie was brilliant, but I think it was poorly illustrated. As I mentioned earlier, the residents of Tomorrowland were searching for intelligent people, often high IQ inventors, who could make the world a better place. At the end of the film, Casey idea is to bring not only intelligent people, but anyone who will make a difference. Dancers, musicians, doctors, pilots, farmers, etc. I think I even saw a waitress in there. These are people who may not normally be recognized as highly intelligent, but can make huge differences in the world. The idea was to not be so limited in thinking, and understand how everything can contribute to a better world. However, they did not really do a great job of pointing this out, so some movie-goers may miss this point completely and simply see it as a rebuilding of Tomorrowland to its former glory.

Other than those two issues, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. It had a great amount of humor, action and endearing moments. It was visually stunning, and took a concept that I never thought could be made into a movie and did just that. The movie was brilliantly cast, even down to the minor characters like Hugo (Keegan-Michael Key) and Ursula (Kathryn Hahn). Of course the score was fantastic, it is a Disney film after all. And despite my issues with the complexity of the plot, I still think that everyone, young and old, will enjoy this film.

Is it perfect? Absolutely not. But it is entertaining, and definitely worth seeing on the big screen. So go check it out. In theaters everywhere, today.