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Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Dark Shadows (2012) in Movies
Aug 7, 2019
Tim Burton has always been one of my all time favorite directors because of his strange-yet-humorous nature and the frequent use of my favorite actor, Johnny Depp. For the last decade or so we have been plagued with remakes of stories that we are all familiar with and the only thing that makes them different is the addition of the iconic Tim Burton style. Once again Tim Burton brings us yet another remake, only this time of the 70’s cult classic soap opera Dark Shadows.
Frequent collaborator, Johnny Depp, stars as Barnabas Collins in a role previously made famous by Jonathan Frid. Barnabas Collins and his parents leave Liverpool in 1760 for New Hampshire, in an attempt to expand their family business. They succeed and become the wealthiest family in the area, resulting in the town getting named after the family. Barnabas was a ladies’ man and scorned the heart of Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green) by falling in love with Josette DuPres (Bella Heathcote). Unbeknownst to him, Angelique is a witch and out of pure jealousy, she kills his one true love and has cursed Barnabas to be a vampire so that his suffering would be endless. Angelique rallies the townspeople to bury Barnabas alive.
After nearly 200 years, Barnabas is accidently unearthed in the year 1972. He heads to the one place that he can call home and encounters the remaining four dysfunctional members of his family and discovers that his family estate is in jeopardy. Barnabas soon learns that the evil person behind all his families turmoil is none other than Angelique herself.
Though this film does have the quirky Burton-esque feel that we are all familiar with, it lacks his signature energy. The plot itself is long and drawn out and makes the first half of the movie extremely slow and boring. Now don’t get me wrong, Depp did manage to slip in more than a few funny lines but even his best work was a strained attempt at humor. I do, on the other hand, appreciate that Burton brought back the original vampire myths, with all the burning in the sunlight and not being able to see a reflection. Though the script and story itself leaves much to be desired, Johnny Depp is as funny as the story and/or script allows him to be and as Barnabas, he carries the movie. Even Michelle Pfeiffer and Helena Bonham Carter couldn’t help save this movie from the pedantic pace of a very uneven but predictable story. Equally disappointing was the waste of the perfect casting of Chloe Moretz as Michelle’s daughter. Even though she looked and sounded a lot like her movie mom, she wasn’t given much to do but sulk and glare.
Even though you will experience an entertaining blast from the past with the characters, soundtrack and fashions, it is best to say that this film should be left as a rental. Being such a huge fan of Burton’s kooky and imaginative world, it sure pains me to say that this movie is a bit of a train wreck and lacks the enchanting storytelling that we’ve come to expect from him.
Frequent collaborator, Johnny Depp, stars as Barnabas Collins in a role previously made famous by Jonathan Frid. Barnabas Collins and his parents leave Liverpool in 1760 for New Hampshire, in an attempt to expand their family business. They succeed and become the wealthiest family in the area, resulting in the town getting named after the family. Barnabas was a ladies’ man and scorned the heart of Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green) by falling in love with Josette DuPres (Bella Heathcote). Unbeknownst to him, Angelique is a witch and out of pure jealousy, she kills his one true love and has cursed Barnabas to be a vampire so that his suffering would be endless. Angelique rallies the townspeople to bury Barnabas alive.
After nearly 200 years, Barnabas is accidently unearthed in the year 1972. He heads to the one place that he can call home and encounters the remaining four dysfunctional members of his family and discovers that his family estate is in jeopardy. Barnabas soon learns that the evil person behind all his families turmoil is none other than Angelique herself.
Though this film does have the quirky Burton-esque feel that we are all familiar with, it lacks his signature energy. The plot itself is long and drawn out and makes the first half of the movie extremely slow and boring. Now don’t get me wrong, Depp did manage to slip in more than a few funny lines but even his best work was a strained attempt at humor. I do, on the other hand, appreciate that Burton brought back the original vampire myths, with all the burning in the sunlight and not being able to see a reflection. Though the script and story itself leaves much to be desired, Johnny Depp is as funny as the story and/or script allows him to be and as Barnabas, he carries the movie. Even Michelle Pfeiffer and Helena Bonham Carter couldn’t help save this movie from the pedantic pace of a very uneven but predictable story. Equally disappointing was the waste of the perfect casting of Chloe Moretz as Michelle’s daughter. Even though she looked and sounded a lot like her movie mom, she wasn’t given much to do but sulk and glare.
Even though you will experience an entertaining blast from the past with the characters, soundtrack and fashions, it is best to say that this film should be left as a rental. Being such a huge fan of Burton’s kooky and imaginative world, it sure pains me to say that this movie is a bit of a train wreck and lacks the enchanting storytelling that we’ve come to expect from him.
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Your Highness (2011) in Movies
Aug 7, 2019
For all you minotaur lovers out there, the movie Your Highness is the film for you. Not that the movie is about them but it has the most unique minotaur I have ever seen in a movie. Your Highness takes place long ago in a land far away in a kingdom that has two princes. The oldest and heir-to-the-throne is Prince Fabious (the fabulous James Franco). He is a prince’s prince, a knight’s knight, he enjoys protecting the innocent, he slays evil cyclops and other evil things that should be slayed.
The youngest is Prince Thadeous (film co-writer Danny McBride), he is a slacker’s slacker, a player’s player, he enjoys booze and other mind-altering stuff, he lays with easy maidens and…well, you get the point. Even though the two brothers are so very different they still love each other, even if Thadeous won’t admit it. So when Prince Fabious was to be married to the beautiful yet naive Belladonna (the enchanting Zooey Deschanel) he wanted none other than his younger brother to be his best man.
But fate had other plans and what should have been the happiest of wedding days was ruined when the evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux) kidnaps Belladonna so he can produce an evil dragon offspring that he would use to rule the world. The two brothers vow to save her and kill Leezar. Ok, technically Thadeous is told by their father the King (Charles Dance) that either he goes with his older brother or he will be kicked out of the kingdom and it is Fabious who does the vowing. So they ride out with their most trusted knights and along the way they meet the Great Wize (not a typo) Wizard (voiced by Mario Torres. Jr.), the highly skilled fighter Isabel (played by a pretty intimidating Natalie Portman), the Minotaur (Brian Steele, a surprisingly fitting name), forest people (I loved the forest people!). Epic adventure and treachery ensue – dun dun dunn! Will they save Belladonna and the world? Will Thadeous become a respectable prince? Will the minotaur live happily ever after?
The movie is funny but the humor is on par with middle-school-aged male humor so approximately 80% of all adult males will probably find the movie funny and a lot of wives will be wondering why they married them. It also had some decent fight scenes sprinkled throughout the movie. I’ll be honest, there were a couple of scenes in the film that I wish I could un-see… the kind of stuff that never happened in any dice role-playing game that I have ever played.
Now I am sure we have all seen movies where one person’s performance was so well done that it made the other people’s performances seem lacking (whether they truly were or not). To me this movie fell victim to that problem. After all with people like Charles Dance, Natalie Portman, James Franco, Zooey Deschanel and Damian Lewis, who plays Boremont, one of the trusted Knights, it was bound to happen. Overall, a very entertaining and funny movie.
The youngest is Prince Thadeous (film co-writer Danny McBride), he is a slacker’s slacker, a player’s player, he enjoys booze and other mind-altering stuff, he lays with easy maidens and…well, you get the point. Even though the two brothers are so very different they still love each other, even if Thadeous won’t admit it. So when Prince Fabious was to be married to the beautiful yet naive Belladonna (the enchanting Zooey Deschanel) he wanted none other than his younger brother to be his best man.
But fate had other plans and what should have been the happiest of wedding days was ruined when the evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux) kidnaps Belladonna so he can produce an evil dragon offspring that he would use to rule the world. The two brothers vow to save her and kill Leezar. Ok, technically Thadeous is told by their father the King (Charles Dance) that either he goes with his older brother or he will be kicked out of the kingdom and it is Fabious who does the vowing. So they ride out with their most trusted knights and along the way they meet the Great Wize (not a typo) Wizard (voiced by Mario Torres. Jr.), the highly skilled fighter Isabel (played by a pretty intimidating Natalie Portman), the Minotaur (Brian Steele, a surprisingly fitting name), forest people (I loved the forest people!). Epic adventure and treachery ensue – dun dun dunn! Will they save Belladonna and the world? Will Thadeous become a respectable prince? Will the minotaur live happily ever after?
The movie is funny but the humor is on par with middle-school-aged male humor so approximately 80% of all adult males will probably find the movie funny and a lot of wives will be wondering why they married them. It also had some decent fight scenes sprinkled throughout the movie. I’ll be honest, there were a couple of scenes in the film that I wish I could un-see… the kind of stuff that never happened in any dice role-playing game that I have ever played.
Now I am sure we have all seen movies where one person’s performance was so well done that it made the other people’s performances seem lacking (whether they truly were or not). To me this movie fell victim to that problem. After all with people like Charles Dance, Natalie Portman, James Franco, Zooey Deschanel and Damian Lewis, who plays Boremont, one of the trusted Knights, it was bound to happen. Overall, a very entertaining and funny movie.
Neon's Nerd Nexus (360 KP) rated Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) in Movies
Feb 14, 2020 (Updated Feb 15, 2020)
"ITS NO USE"
Sonic The Hedgehog openes up with a bunch of gold rings surrounding the studio logo while money sounds subtlety ding away in the background and from that moment alone it became obvious what this movie was going to be. One big fat soulless cash grab with only one goal in mind, entice your kids in and then quickly take your money. First of all this is a kids movie comparable to the likes of Alvin and the Chipmunks and just like that movie its not a good kids movie either. Now I like kids movies but Sonic decides to lure kids in with mundane things we have seen a million times in similar films like for instance the floss dance, fart jokes or mocking people by talking over them instead of using its own ideas or delivering fresh interesting content. Theres some very odd constant digs at Nintendo's Mario too which felt really unnecessary. Comedy wise none of its miserable attempts at humour are funny in the slightest either and before long its constant bombardment of strange jokes start to take their tole on your patience. Every single character here is sadly really unlikable too see we have the human characters who seem to have no individual personalities of thier own, lack emotions of any kind and also dont react to dangerous situations with any real sense of fear or shock. Jim Carrey as Doctor Robotnik combines Ace Ventura with The Riddler to make a character that just feels to loud & out of place compared to the robotic performances that everyone else gives. Then theres Sonic himself who is obsessive, anoying, childish, selfish, doesnt shut up and has an extremely short attention span too. So with no one to really sympathise/care about or root for the film better have some exciting action or a good story right? sadly not, theres just no thrills, no excitement, no energy and no heart here at all and definitely no love or passion for the source material. As a film its just plain dull (people were actually asleep and snoring in the seats next to me after just 30 minutes) as the film just runs out of ideas near the start and then resorts to repeating its best ines over and over again at a quick pace until it hits a wall. Did you like the Quicksilver sence from Xmen? dont worry Sonic copies it, how about the Transformers highway chase? dont worry Sonic copies it, what about The Fast and the Furious message about family? dont worry that in here too and thats another issue here, instead of making an original film for Sonic fans they have taken all the bits from films that have simply sold well squashed them into a ball and thrown them at a wall hoping they will stick. So heres the bottom line: Sonic is just another forgettable money maker nothing less nothing more more and just like the Garfield movie, Hop or The Smurfs will anyone be talking about it in a few months?? Naaaaaah
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Kristy H (1252 KP) rated In the Role of Brie Hutchens... in Books
Jul 2, 2020
Brie Hutchens is an eighth-grader at a Catholic school. She loves soap operas and dreams of being the star of the school play. She wants to go to drama school next year. Brie also has feelings that she's pretty sure are different than the other kids at her school. For instance, she gets a fluttery feeling looking at photos online of her favorite soap opera actress. But when Brie's (very religious) mom walks in on her doing so, Brie freaks out and tells her Mom she's been chosen to crown the Mary statue at her school's ceremony. She hasn't of course, and even worse, she probably stands no chance at earning the gig, since it usually goes to a top student. One like Kennedy, whom Brie usually avoids. But as Brie starts to spend a little more time with Kennedy, she realizes Kennedy gives her the same feeling as that soap actress. And that none of this is going to make her mother happy (or help her crown Mary).
This is a very sweet, heartwarming, and touching story about a young girl finding her way and finding herself. I'm a sucker for coming of age stories, but when they are lesbian coming of age stories? I'm sold. Brie is an interesting character, who even comes across a little ungrateful at times--though perhaps she's just a typical teenager. She's embarrassed her dad works at her school and often seems a bit self-centered and in her own world. Okay, yeah, she's a teenager. But her battle with her sexual identity is certainly one I could identify with and it's presented in a lovely and truthful way. It's exactly the kind of book kids this age need, especially teens being raised in a religious environment.
The book is more religious than I expected, but it's not off-putting. As someone whose first love love came from a religious Catholic family, I saw so much of my past life in this book. I loved the fact that Brie is a soap fan--as kid who grew up loving Dallas, Days of Our Lives, Passions, and Sunset Beach, this part of the book was totally fun. Yet, Melleby worked in the angle in a serious way, too, as Brie uses soaps as a way to realize that maybe she isn't so different after all (thank you, soaps, for having some progressive characters ahead of your time).
"But when Brie and her mom sat in the living room, watching their soaps, Brie forgot they had so little in common."
Brie is fun and sweet and she's decidedly her own person, yet scared of how her religious mom and her Catholic school friends might see her if she reveals she likes girls. Her agonizing over this, her fear of coming out, is raw and realistic. The difficultly of coming out really resonates here, and Melleby does a wonderful job capturing how hard it is, even now.
Overall, this is a lovely and tender book--funny and sweet--and a great children's/YA read. If you love coming of age stories, YA novels, or any LQBTIA youth fiction, I think this novel will tug at your heartstrings.
This is a very sweet, heartwarming, and touching story about a young girl finding her way and finding herself. I'm a sucker for coming of age stories, but when they are lesbian coming of age stories? I'm sold. Brie is an interesting character, who even comes across a little ungrateful at times--though perhaps she's just a typical teenager. She's embarrassed her dad works at her school and often seems a bit self-centered and in her own world. Okay, yeah, she's a teenager. But her battle with her sexual identity is certainly one I could identify with and it's presented in a lovely and truthful way. It's exactly the kind of book kids this age need, especially teens being raised in a religious environment.
The book is more religious than I expected, but it's not off-putting. As someone whose first love love came from a religious Catholic family, I saw so much of my past life in this book. I loved the fact that Brie is a soap fan--as kid who grew up loving Dallas, Days of Our Lives, Passions, and Sunset Beach, this part of the book was totally fun. Yet, Melleby worked in the angle in a serious way, too, as Brie uses soaps as a way to realize that maybe she isn't so different after all (thank you, soaps, for having some progressive characters ahead of your time).
"But when Brie and her mom sat in the living room, watching their soaps, Brie forgot they had so little in common."
Brie is fun and sweet and she's decidedly her own person, yet scared of how her religious mom and her Catholic school friends might see her if she reveals she likes girls. Her agonizing over this, her fear of coming out, is raw and realistic. The difficultly of coming out really resonates here, and Melleby does a wonderful job capturing how hard it is, even now.
Overall, this is a lovely and tender book--funny and sweet--and a great children's/YA read. If you love coming of age stories, YA novels, or any LQBTIA youth fiction, I think this novel will tug at your heartstrings.
Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated Line of Duty (2019) in Movies
Jul 12, 2020
I know a throwaway action film when I see it and they're usually either brilliant films to relax to or a great opportunity to catch up on your social media feeds.
Frank Penny is bumbling through his life as a cop, a loner, disgraced, but he still knows what's right. When an operation to rescue a kidnap victim goes awry he leaps into the pursuit against orders, cornering the suspect it looks like it's a job well done, until he has to draw his gun. With the suspect down there might not be any way to get the girl back safely.
You'd be forgiven for thinking this was a different film from the outset. It starts with heavy inspirational music over Frank working out, is it a sports movie about redemption? A stylised title comes up, is it a romcom? None of the above, it is of course a crime thriller. After the opening that does thankfully become evident.
When we meet characters that would normally be a time for a slightly slower pace, but Line Of Duty seems to keep everything quick from the very beginning and it doesn't slow as we get further in. The constant action sweeps you along with everything and you really don't notice how long you've been watching for.
Aaron Eckhart in the lead role... makes me pause. It works in a John McClane-esque race against time kind of way but the dynamic with Courtney Eaton is strange. The recklessness that he takes by bringing her along with him (if you ignore the madness of doing it in the first place) makes you think it's going to be a flirty kind of relationship, but he's over twice her age and with his backstory you'd expect a protective father figure... but remember there's all that action and peril so that really doesn't work either.
Eaton gives a fairly solid performance as the intrepid reporter, there's not anything mindblowing mixed in the role but it's nice to have the action broken up with the ongoing commentary and slight touch of humour.
As you'd expect with a fast pace those cameras go running a lot, ugh to jiggly camerawork, but thankfully because it's incorporated with the action you don't notice so much. Along with that you get to see some of Ava's phone camera footage, I think the film could have stood to have more of it, it would have been a relevant change in style and added a little more to spice up the expected elements. I was a little surprised to see some random video game shots creep in, those clips work just fine in things like Guns Akimbo, but in the context of Line Of Duty it didn't make a lot of sense when there was a sensible alternative available.
Line Of Duty is the Ronseal of films, you know what to expect and in that regard it doesn't disappoint. It's got lots of your typical action cliches and if you like the race against time type of storyline then I really don't think you'll have any issue watching it.
Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2020/07/line-of-duty-movie-review.html
Frank Penny is bumbling through his life as a cop, a loner, disgraced, but he still knows what's right. When an operation to rescue a kidnap victim goes awry he leaps into the pursuit against orders, cornering the suspect it looks like it's a job well done, until he has to draw his gun. With the suspect down there might not be any way to get the girl back safely.
You'd be forgiven for thinking this was a different film from the outset. It starts with heavy inspirational music over Frank working out, is it a sports movie about redemption? A stylised title comes up, is it a romcom? None of the above, it is of course a crime thriller. After the opening that does thankfully become evident.
When we meet characters that would normally be a time for a slightly slower pace, but Line Of Duty seems to keep everything quick from the very beginning and it doesn't slow as we get further in. The constant action sweeps you along with everything and you really don't notice how long you've been watching for.
Aaron Eckhart in the lead role... makes me pause. It works in a John McClane-esque race against time kind of way but the dynamic with Courtney Eaton is strange. The recklessness that he takes by bringing her along with him (if you ignore the madness of doing it in the first place) makes you think it's going to be a flirty kind of relationship, but he's over twice her age and with his backstory you'd expect a protective father figure... but remember there's all that action and peril so that really doesn't work either.
Eaton gives a fairly solid performance as the intrepid reporter, there's not anything mindblowing mixed in the role but it's nice to have the action broken up with the ongoing commentary and slight touch of humour.
As you'd expect with a fast pace those cameras go running a lot, ugh to jiggly camerawork, but thankfully because it's incorporated with the action you don't notice so much. Along with that you get to see some of Ava's phone camera footage, I think the film could have stood to have more of it, it would have been a relevant change in style and added a little more to spice up the expected elements. I was a little surprised to see some random video game shots creep in, those clips work just fine in things like Guns Akimbo, but in the context of Line Of Duty it didn't make a lot of sense when there was a sensible alternative available.
Line Of Duty is the Ronseal of films, you know what to expect and in that regard it doesn't disappoint. It's got lots of your typical action cliches and if you like the race against time type of storyline then I really don't think you'll have any issue watching it.
Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2020/07/line-of-duty-movie-review.html
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) in Movies
Nov 16, 2020
The first 10 or so minutes of Resident Evil: Apocalypse are quite good. Raccoon City in panic, Jill Valentine and Carlos Oliveira, a few mentions of this movies big bad - an adaption of Resident Evil 3: Nemesis is something I am keen for. The whole set up isn't too bad, and then we get to a scene set in a church, Jill Valentine surrounded by Lickers, completely out of ammo, and then...
Like a drunken gym bro shouting and flexing his way through a bar of people just trying to have a nice evening, Alice (Milla Jovovich) comes crashing through the churches paned glass window on a motorcycle, sub machine gun in each hand, whilst shitty rock music starts blasting out of the screen, and I am once again abruptly reminded why I hate these films.
I just about prefer Apocalypse over the first movie, but only because of the Resi 3 vibe. I also think Nemesis looks pretty badass when he finally appears, and the whole thing just feels closer to the source material than before, but other than that I find it hard to get on board with.
For starters, the editing is all over the place, and director Alexander Witt seems hellbent on adding a weird choppy slow motion effect to any scenes involving mass zombies. Later on in the film, Alice and Nemesis engage in hand to hand combat (ridiculous) where there are so many edits, it's genuinely hard to make out what the fuck is happening, and results in a stupidly underwhelming climax. (Some googling revealed to me that Witt's only other directing credits are Land Rover commercials, so this kind of all makes sense).
On the subject of Nemesis, yeah he looks the part, but I remember playing Resi 3 as a kid and it scared the shit out of me, and that was all because of Nemesis. A big, lumbering, unstoppable beast who just wants nothing more than to kill you dead. In this movie, he's more inclined to take the side of the good guys, and is sometime known to be called by his real name, Matt. I know they had to follow through on the "stinger" from the first film but come on, I don't want to hear Nemesis refered to as Matt.
Other than that, everything else is just a bit predictable and meh. It's way more action orientated than horror, and all the set pieces are uninspired and ripped off from other movies. None of the side characters are particularly memorable (and not even surprise Iain Glen can fix that) and in terms of plot, nothing really happens until the last 5 minutes. I will give props to Sienna Guillory who plays Jill Valentine. She honestly feels like she's straight out of the game series, which would usually feel a bit silly, but when she's the best thing Apocalypse has going for it, then I welcome her inclusion with open arms.
In conclusion, Apocalypse is a forgettable film that has fleeting moments of entertainment value. Maybe worth a watch just the once if you're a fan of Resi 3...
Like a drunken gym bro shouting and flexing his way through a bar of people just trying to have a nice evening, Alice (Milla Jovovich) comes crashing through the churches paned glass window on a motorcycle, sub machine gun in each hand, whilst shitty rock music starts blasting out of the screen, and I am once again abruptly reminded why I hate these films.
I just about prefer Apocalypse over the first movie, but only because of the Resi 3 vibe. I also think Nemesis looks pretty badass when he finally appears, and the whole thing just feels closer to the source material than before, but other than that I find it hard to get on board with.
For starters, the editing is all over the place, and director Alexander Witt seems hellbent on adding a weird choppy slow motion effect to any scenes involving mass zombies. Later on in the film, Alice and Nemesis engage in hand to hand combat (ridiculous) where there are so many edits, it's genuinely hard to make out what the fuck is happening, and results in a stupidly underwhelming climax. (Some googling revealed to me that Witt's only other directing credits are Land Rover commercials, so this kind of all makes sense).
On the subject of Nemesis, yeah he looks the part, but I remember playing Resi 3 as a kid and it scared the shit out of me, and that was all because of Nemesis. A big, lumbering, unstoppable beast who just wants nothing more than to kill you dead. In this movie, he's more inclined to take the side of the good guys, and is sometime known to be called by his real name, Matt. I know they had to follow through on the "stinger" from the first film but come on, I don't want to hear Nemesis refered to as Matt.
Other than that, everything else is just a bit predictable and meh. It's way more action orientated than horror, and all the set pieces are uninspired and ripped off from other movies. None of the side characters are particularly memorable (and not even surprise Iain Glen can fix that) and in terms of plot, nothing really happens until the last 5 minutes. I will give props to Sienna Guillory who plays Jill Valentine. She honestly feels like she's straight out of the game series, which would usually feel a bit silly, but when she's the best thing Apocalypse has going for it, then I welcome her inclusion with open arms.
In conclusion, Apocalypse is a forgettable film that has fleeting moments of entertainment value. Maybe worth a watch just the once if you're a fan of Resi 3...