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Fitocracy Macros – How much should I eat to lose weight
Health & Fitness and Lifestyle
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Brought to you by Fitocracy, Mashable's 'Top Innovation in Health & Fitness' winner, 'Macros' is a...
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Of Wilderness and Wolves
Paul Lester Errington and Matthew Wynn Sivils
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"I was a predator, myself, and lived close to the land." With these words, Paul L. Errington begins...
The Best Minds of My Generation
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A unique history of the Beats, in the words of the movement's most central member, Allen Ginsberg,...
Autobiography essays memoir
The Blood Will Dry
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Five years after an alien invasion, the earth is unrecognizable. The human race has been decimated...
Adult Post_Apocalyptic Romance
The Battle For England: Women at war in Medieval England (Wars of the Magna Carta #1)
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Medieval England is under siege… Perfect for fans of Conn Iggulden, Robyn Young, Alison Weir and...
Historical Fiction Medieval England
Sarah (7800 KP) rated Willy's Wonderland (2021) in Movies
Mar 20, 2021
Could’ve been so much better
If you’ve seen the trailer for Willy’s Wonderland, you were no doubt wondering what on earth your eyes had just been witness to, and I’m afraid the full film doesn’t get any less demented. Willy’s Wonderland is a 2021 horror comedy from director Kevin Lewis that is every bit a modern day B-movie, complete with cheesy script and questionable acting. On paper it sounds like it should be entertainingly bad but silly, but unfortunately in reality it’s just bad.
Willy’s Wonderland follows a drifter (Nicolas Cage) who experiences car troubles on his way cross country, and is tricked into becoming a janitor overnight for the condemned Willy’s Wonderland to pay off his car repairs. Willy’s is a kids restaurant slash indoor play area themed around Willy the weasel and his animatronic friends, including a crocodile, chameleon, gorilla and ostrich. However Willy’s isn’t just your ordinary run down restaurant as it has a dark and horrific history involving murderers, criminals and satanic rituals. Now the friendly animatronic creatures have taken on a murderous life of their own and in a bid to appease them, the town elders (including the sheriff played by Beth Grant) have turned to tricking people travelling through into Willy’s to act as human sacrifices. Unfortunately the townsfolk don’t get quite what they expected with Cage’s unnamed drifter, who alongside local girl Liv (Emily Tosta), gives the demonic creatures a lot more than they bargained for.
I have been dying to watch this film since seeing the trailer. It looked like it’d be absolutely crazy silliness from start to finish and one of those films that are so bad they’re good. But as much as I wanted to like this, I feel like it fell short from what was promised. The first major problem is that it’s meant to be a horror comedy, but there was little humour on offer and the only time I really found myself laughing was at the sheer bizarreness of this entire film. Horror-wise there is a decent amount of blood and gore, but some of it looks badly done and unrealistic and there’s little to be scared of here either. Towards the start of the film there are a few creepy scenes with the animatronic animals, but as the story progresses the scares are lost and this is where the film suffers. It is possible to make a film that’s scary, funny and good (Cabin in the Woods is a shining example), but sadly Willy’s Wonderland doesn’t pull it off.
The fight scenes are lost due to the crazy artistic and surreal style of camera work, meaning you barely have a clue what’s going on and the backing music to accompany these fight scenes doesn’t always work either. And then there’s Nicolas Cage. For some unknown reason, they’ve decided to make his character completely mute with absolutely no dialogue whatsoever. This works in the first few scenes, but as the story unfolds you find yourself crying out for him to say something, anything. If any film was suitable for Cage’s signature crazy eyed overacting, it’s this one and not utilising this is criminal. What were they thinking?! The script isn’t great and the majority of characters are entirely wasted and one dimensional, even for a horror film, with only Emily Tosta coming out of this relatively unscathed, so a bit of Cage’s acting could’ve really helped make this a lot more entertaining.
Willy’s Wonderland had a lot of promise, with an interesting and crazy B-movie horror storyline. However it’s the execution which has let it down, as it’s severely lacking in horror or comedy and doesn’t make use of the cast or promising story. It’s a shame as it’s semi enjoyable as is, but could’ve been so much better!
Willy’s Wonderland follows a drifter (Nicolas Cage) who experiences car troubles on his way cross country, and is tricked into becoming a janitor overnight for the condemned Willy’s Wonderland to pay off his car repairs. Willy’s is a kids restaurant slash indoor play area themed around Willy the weasel and his animatronic friends, including a crocodile, chameleon, gorilla and ostrich. However Willy’s isn’t just your ordinary run down restaurant as it has a dark and horrific history involving murderers, criminals and satanic rituals. Now the friendly animatronic creatures have taken on a murderous life of their own and in a bid to appease them, the town elders (including the sheriff played by Beth Grant) have turned to tricking people travelling through into Willy’s to act as human sacrifices. Unfortunately the townsfolk don’t get quite what they expected with Cage’s unnamed drifter, who alongside local girl Liv (Emily Tosta), gives the demonic creatures a lot more than they bargained for.
I have been dying to watch this film since seeing the trailer. It looked like it’d be absolutely crazy silliness from start to finish and one of those films that are so bad they’re good. But as much as I wanted to like this, I feel like it fell short from what was promised. The first major problem is that it’s meant to be a horror comedy, but there was little humour on offer and the only time I really found myself laughing was at the sheer bizarreness of this entire film. Horror-wise there is a decent amount of blood and gore, but some of it looks badly done and unrealistic and there’s little to be scared of here either. Towards the start of the film there are a few creepy scenes with the animatronic animals, but as the story progresses the scares are lost and this is where the film suffers. It is possible to make a film that’s scary, funny and good (Cabin in the Woods is a shining example), but sadly Willy’s Wonderland doesn’t pull it off.
The fight scenes are lost due to the crazy artistic and surreal style of camera work, meaning you barely have a clue what’s going on and the backing music to accompany these fight scenes doesn’t always work either. And then there’s Nicolas Cage. For some unknown reason, they’ve decided to make his character completely mute with absolutely no dialogue whatsoever. This works in the first few scenes, but as the story unfolds you find yourself crying out for him to say something, anything. If any film was suitable for Cage’s signature crazy eyed overacting, it’s this one and not utilising this is criminal. What were they thinking?! The script isn’t great and the majority of characters are entirely wasted and one dimensional, even for a horror film, with only Emily Tosta coming out of this relatively unscathed, so a bit of Cage’s acting could’ve really helped make this a lot more entertaining.
Willy’s Wonderland had a lot of promise, with an interesting and crazy B-movie horror storyline. However it’s the execution which has let it down, as it’s severely lacking in horror or comedy and doesn’t make use of the cast or promising story. It’s a shame as it’s semi enjoyable as is, but could’ve been so much better!
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) in Movies
Sep 28, 2021
Large and Small on screen, but just ends up middling.
So, for the first time we divided last night at the cinema. I went off to watch “Ant-Man and the Wasp” and my wife – not a Marvel fan – went to see “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again” (for the THIRD time!). Incidentally, Mamma Mia 2 seems to be the movie phenomenon of the summer, taking over from “The Greatest Showman” as the movie phenomenon of the winter. It’s been out three weeks now and the shows are still selling out, with people (mostly groups of women) being turned away at the ticket desk. I can see this one running in theatres until October, when they bring out a sing-a-long edition and it carries on running ‘til Christmas. Extraordinary.
But, let’s turn from big things to small things. In a prologue we see a young Dr Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) and wife Janet (Michelle Pfeiffer) torn apart as Janet miniturises herself into the “quantum realm” to save the world from nuclear disaster. But in the present day Hank thinks there might be a way to find and retrieve Janet with the help of their superhero daughter Hope (“The Wasp”, played by Evangeline Lilly). (“What the f*** have you been thinking about instead for the last 30 years while I’ve been sat here avoiding neutrons”, would be the imagined response from Janet, but we don’t go there!).
But Scott Lang (aka “Ant Man”, Paul Rudd), having also been to the quantum realm, holds a key part of the puzzle. To add to their problems, a strange ghost-like girl called Ava has her own reasons for retrieving the lost soul, but in ways that will tear Janet limb from limb. Can Hank, Hope and Scott succeed, while dodging both The Ghost, the FBI and other criminal forces intent on seizing Pym’s technology?
I must admit that I’d somewhat forgotten how “Ant Man” ended three years ago, which together with the one film missing from my Marvel-watching canon being “Captain America: Civil War” left me somewhat confused by why we start the film with our hero Lang under two-year’s house arrest. But much fun is had with Lang’s curfew and the frustration of FBI agent Jimmy Woo (Randall Park) in trying to catch him breaking the rules.
For we are again at the comedic end of the Marvel universe. However the comedy is extremely uneven this time and doesn’t sit particularly well with the dramatic and emotional elements of the film. It’s certainly nowhere near the consistently funny content of the surprisingly good “Thor: Ragnarok”. Some of Rudd’s lines just smell of “trying too hard”.
Adding comedic value is Michael Peña returning here as Scott’s partner Luis. His motor-mouth routine after taking a truth drug (“not a truth drug”!) was hilarious, with the rest of the cast miming his words in flashback.
It has to be said though that there are some truly great sight-gags, to rival the Thomas the Tank Engine scenes in the first film. The expanding salt-cellar; the expanding / contracting car and building moments; and the “skateboard” scenes. But all – and I mean ALL – of these scenes were universally spoiled by the trailer, such that the reaction to them was “oh, that’s that bit then”. NEVER has there been a better case for a teaser trailer that basically said “Ant Man’s back; here’s ONE wow-factor visual”. It’s just criminal. Interestingly, re the trailer, there was also at least one scene (the “you go high, I’ll go low” one, which I thought was very funny) that didn’t make the cut I saw.
Acting wise you can’t fault the cast with Lilly just great as “The Wasp”. If I was her, I would have said “OK… I’ll do the film, but I get to keep the suit!”. That would be her age monitoring device for years to come…. “Does the zip still do up at the back? Do my impossibly pert breasts still align with these impossibly well-moulded contours?”. It’s also great to see Michael Douglas and Laurence Fishburne going head-to-head in the acting stakes. Walton Goggins again crops up as a believable bad-guy, a performance I really enjoyed, but the star turn for me in the whole film was a career-making performance by Hannah John-Kamen as Ava/The Ghost: she’s previously only had small supporting roles in “Tomb Raider” and “Ready Player One”. Looking like a Star Wars sand-person in her outfit she removes her mask to reveal a stunningly piercing gaze and great screen presence. One to watch for the future.
Directed by original “Ant Man” director Peyton Reed, it’s a perfectly entertaining watch for a summer night, but it is uneven in tone, perhaps the result of the team of five credited with the writing. Ask me in two months’ time to tell you anything about it and I will probably struggle. It’s a “meh” sort of film for me.
But, let’s turn from big things to small things. In a prologue we see a young Dr Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) and wife Janet (Michelle Pfeiffer) torn apart as Janet miniturises herself into the “quantum realm” to save the world from nuclear disaster. But in the present day Hank thinks there might be a way to find and retrieve Janet with the help of their superhero daughter Hope (“The Wasp”, played by Evangeline Lilly). (“What the f*** have you been thinking about instead for the last 30 years while I’ve been sat here avoiding neutrons”, would be the imagined response from Janet, but we don’t go there!).
But Scott Lang (aka “Ant Man”, Paul Rudd), having also been to the quantum realm, holds a key part of the puzzle. To add to their problems, a strange ghost-like girl called Ava has her own reasons for retrieving the lost soul, but in ways that will tear Janet limb from limb. Can Hank, Hope and Scott succeed, while dodging both The Ghost, the FBI and other criminal forces intent on seizing Pym’s technology?
I must admit that I’d somewhat forgotten how “Ant Man” ended three years ago, which together with the one film missing from my Marvel-watching canon being “Captain America: Civil War” left me somewhat confused by why we start the film with our hero Lang under two-year’s house arrest. But much fun is had with Lang’s curfew and the frustration of FBI agent Jimmy Woo (Randall Park) in trying to catch him breaking the rules.
For we are again at the comedic end of the Marvel universe. However the comedy is extremely uneven this time and doesn’t sit particularly well with the dramatic and emotional elements of the film. It’s certainly nowhere near the consistently funny content of the surprisingly good “Thor: Ragnarok”. Some of Rudd’s lines just smell of “trying too hard”.
Adding comedic value is Michael Peña returning here as Scott’s partner Luis. His motor-mouth routine after taking a truth drug (“not a truth drug”!) was hilarious, with the rest of the cast miming his words in flashback.
It has to be said though that there are some truly great sight-gags, to rival the Thomas the Tank Engine scenes in the first film. The expanding salt-cellar; the expanding / contracting car and building moments; and the “skateboard” scenes. But all – and I mean ALL – of these scenes were universally spoiled by the trailer, such that the reaction to them was “oh, that’s that bit then”. NEVER has there been a better case for a teaser trailer that basically said “Ant Man’s back; here’s ONE wow-factor visual”. It’s just criminal. Interestingly, re the trailer, there was also at least one scene (the “you go high, I’ll go low” one, which I thought was very funny) that didn’t make the cut I saw.
Acting wise you can’t fault the cast with Lilly just great as “The Wasp”. If I was her, I would have said “OK… I’ll do the film, but I get to keep the suit!”. That would be her age monitoring device for years to come…. “Does the zip still do up at the back? Do my impossibly pert breasts still align with these impossibly well-moulded contours?”. It’s also great to see Michael Douglas and Laurence Fishburne going head-to-head in the acting stakes. Walton Goggins again crops up as a believable bad-guy, a performance I really enjoyed, but the star turn for me in the whole film was a career-making performance by Hannah John-Kamen as Ava/The Ghost: she’s previously only had small supporting roles in “Tomb Raider” and “Ready Player One”. Looking like a Star Wars sand-person in her outfit she removes her mask to reveal a stunningly piercing gaze and great screen presence. One to watch for the future.
Directed by original “Ant Man” director Peyton Reed, it’s a perfectly entertaining watch for a summer night, but it is uneven in tone, perhaps the result of the team of five credited with the writing. Ask me in two months’ time to tell you anything about it and I will probably struggle. It’s a “meh” sort of film for me.
BookwormMama14 (18 KP) rated The Governess of Highland Hall (Edwardian Brides, #1) in Books
Jan 2, 2019
I have finally made some time to read a few books on my TBR list that have been taunting me with their sweet descriptions. And oh gosh, I can NOT believe that it has taken me so long to read this book! The Governess of Highland Hall was perfect for satisfying the Downton Abbey fan in me. And Carrie Turansky's descriptions and attention to detail drew me into Edwardian England and I got lost wandering down the road alongside Julia...my husband didn't see me for days. Because it is the same era as Downton Abbey I was tempted to think of the characters in relation to the show, but boy are they different! Let's just say the housekeeper, is no Mrs. Hughes. However, she definitely adds a very interesting twist on the story. Throughout this book you will see the storyline unfold through multiple perspectives. It was easy to follow along and added a lot of depth and insight to our supporting characters. I LOVE Sir William's sister Sarah! And I just giggled with delight to find out that Sir William's cousin (and dependent) Katherine Ramsey is our leading lady in the next book. SO excited to read her story. One of the things mentioned in this book are Christmas crackers...And let me tell you, if you have never had these at Christmas you are missing out! We started our own tradition last year with these, and they were a HUGE hit! No one else in the family knew what they were, but the immediately put on their paper crown, and we all wore them throughout dinner. You can order them on Amazon. This isn't the first book I have read about a governess. Not a servant, not a part of the family...But they pour so much into the children. Love them, raise them, and they are so easily cast aside. It can be a sad lot from what I have seen. However, we are reminded throughout the story, that we must walk on God's path for our lives. We may not understand His purpose or His ways, but we must trust that He loves us, His children, and wants the best for us. I encourage you, as this book encouraged me, to keep your heart tender toward the Lord's voice and follow where He leads. Now, bring me book two!
But Bottom line, "You have bewitched me body and soul."
But Bottom line, "You have bewitched me body and soul."
An Amish Home: Four Novellas
Beth Wiseman, Amy Clipston, Ruth Reid and Kathleen Fuller
10.0
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A Cup Half Full by Beth Wiseman-Sarah Lantz always dreamed of the perfect home, the perfect husband,...
Mothergamer (1619 KP) rated the PlayStation 3 version of Assassin's Creed III in Video Games
Apr 3, 2019
Contains spoilers, click to show
So after a long hiatus, I finished Assassin's Creed III. Did I like the game? Yes, definitely. Did I love it? Not so much. First let's get the good things out of the way. I really liked that there was a new world to explore and a great part of history to be involved in; the Revolutionary War. This made for a lot of interesting missions, side quests, and battles. I did like the new costume designs for the game and I definitely liked the new weapons. I did like seeing quite a few historical faces in the game and some of them had some pretty good missions. The story was fairly interesting especially towards the end when further details are revealed answering a lot of questions from the previous game. While I did wish for more city exploration, I did enjoy exploring the frontier areas because it was new and there was some interesting things going on out there.
Now, let us get to the parts that I found mildly disappointing and the parts that were so infuriating they got A LOT of swearing from me.
1.Connor Is A Wooden Boy: Connor while an interesting character, came across as wooden and I wasn't really feeling the passion from him or any emotion really. Even when he was supposed to be angry, it just came across as angst filled teenager. Shouldn't he be angrier about some of the things that have happened? I mean I know I would be full on raging if half the stuff he survives in this game happened to me. Speaking in a flat monotone in every situation is just not working for me. I also wish they had done a bit more with the story about Connor's tribe because it seemed like they were just a blip of a plot point and not much else which was a little disappointing. There's also this sense of Connor just being along for the ride and even as a full fledged assassin he doesn't really get to shine, so his story seems lost and smacks of missed opportunity. Bottom line, the pacing is off and that's never good when your main character doesn't feel like he's the main character to you.
2. The damned lock picking: Really, how hard is it to have decent controls for lock picking the chests you find in the game? I suggest that all those game developers go play all the Thief games so they can see how it's done. There is no excuse that late in the game for shoddy controls. Hold both buttons down, swirl around to find the correct "signal" and realize that you have the skills of a drunken monkey when you can't get the damn thing open. Also file under "the right signal my effing ass" because it was ridiculous.
3. Paul Revere's Midnight Ride Mission: Yes, they did their research and yes, it was cool they had that in the game. However, never have I wanted so badly to shove a historical person off a horse. Having to constantly ask the man for directions while he yelled at me, "More to the left! No, more right!" made me seriously consider handing him over to the enemy. It was only for a minute, I swear.
4. THE DAMN NAVAL BATTLES: There is a good reason why that is in all caps. There is no real learning curve here. It's pretty much a learn or sink your ship situation here. While I get that the ships can't turn on a dime just like real ships from that era; the controls are pardon my French, utter shit. Not only are they clunky, there are some questionable load times for firing the various cannons and lord help you if you end up getting turned around and smashing on some rocks. One of the naval battles was so damn infuriating, my husband Ron had to step in and finish it for me. Yes, it was that bad.
5. The Chasing Lee Mission: This was the final mission in Connor's main story and it made me want to tear my hair out and scream out my frustration. I did scream in fact. Many times. First there's the optional objectives of don't shove anyone while you're running, followed by don't let any of the British soldiers touch you. So instead of oh I don't know getting to shoot murdering bad guy in the face, you have to run an obstacle course full of people, things, and a burning ship like you're an Olympic marathon champ. Then we factor in, how Lee is only five steps away from you but you get the desynchronization message if you don't get closer to him. At one point I was standing right IN FRONT of him in the burning ship; I could have had him right there, but because it wasn't part of the "story" he took off running and I got that message. I finally did finish that mission and the payoff for it wasn't really worth it; trust me.
6. Desmond Got Screwed Over: While I understand that Desmond's story was ending; the way they sent him off left no real resolution for him and it seemed as if they were just tired of him. Desmond needed a proper send off with some actual closure; not an ending that screamed, 'Hey, we're kind of bored and tired of this guy, so we're getting rid of him okay? 'Kay, see ya!'
Those were the big things that really disappointed me and made me nuts. My thinking was I couldn't believe they spent three years working on this game and this is what we got. I loved the previous Assassin's Creed games and I was genuinely excited for this one, but there were many things that disappointed me. While I liked the game and I did like the ending (not the thing that happened to Desmond because that was some bullshit), I didn't love it. It felt like perhaps they rushed a bit or just didn't test things out fully to make sure they worked right (I'm looking at you, lock picking controls team) or they couldn't be bothered. I'm not expecting perfection, but after working on something for three years, you better be able to deliver the goods. This is just my take on it, if you want to try it out by all means, go ahead. Just don't expect stellar, because that is not going to happen. Expect kind of good, but not great, and fun to play through once.
Now, let us get to the parts that I found mildly disappointing and the parts that were so infuriating they got A LOT of swearing from me.
1.Connor Is A Wooden Boy: Connor while an interesting character, came across as wooden and I wasn't really feeling the passion from him or any emotion really. Even when he was supposed to be angry, it just came across as angst filled teenager. Shouldn't he be angrier about some of the things that have happened? I mean I know I would be full on raging if half the stuff he survives in this game happened to me. Speaking in a flat monotone in every situation is just not working for me. I also wish they had done a bit more with the story about Connor's tribe because it seemed like they were just a blip of a plot point and not much else which was a little disappointing. There's also this sense of Connor just being along for the ride and even as a full fledged assassin he doesn't really get to shine, so his story seems lost and smacks of missed opportunity. Bottom line, the pacing is off and that's never good when your main character doesn't feel like he's the main character to you.
2. The damned lock picking: Really, how hard is it to have decent controls for lock picking the chests you find in the game? I suggest that all those game developers go play all the Thief games so they can see how it's done. There is no excuse that late in the game for shoddy controls. Hold both buttons down, swirl around to find the correct "signal" and realize that you have the skills of a drunken monkey when you can't get the damn thing open. Also file under "the right signal my effing ass" because it was ridiculous.
3. Paul Revere's Midnight Ride Mission: Yes, they did their research and yes, it was cool they had that in the game. However, never have I wanted so badly to shove a historical person off a horse. Having to constantly ask the man for directions while he yelled at me, "More to the left! No, more right!" made me seriously consider handing him over to the enemy. It was only for a minute, I swear.
4. THE DAMN NAVAL BATTLES: There is a good reason why that is in all caps. There is no real learning curve here. It's pretty much a learn or sink your ship situation here. While I get that the ships can't turn on a dime just like real ships from that era; the controls are pardon my French, utter shit. Not only are they clunky, there are some questionable load times for firing the various cannons and lord help you if you end up getting turned around and smashing on some rocks. One of the naval battles was so damn infuriating, my husband Ron had to step in and finish it for me. Yes, it was that bad.
5. The Chasing Lee Mission: This was the final mission in Connor's main story and it made me want to tear my hair out and scream out my frustration. I did scream in fact. Many times. First there's the optional objectives of don't shove anyone while you're running, followed by don't let any of the British soldiers touch you. So instead of oh I don't know getting to shoot murdering bad guy in the face, you have to run an obstacle course full of people, things, and a burning ship like you're an Olympic marathon champ. Then we factor in, how Lee is only five steps away from you but you get the desynchronization message if you don't get closer to him. At one point I was standing right IN FRONT of him in the burning ship; I could have had him right there, but because it wasn't part of the "story" he took off running and I got that message. I finally did finish that mission and the payoff for it wasn't really worth it; trust me.
6. Desmond Got Screwed Over: While I understand that Desmond's story was ending; the way they sent him off left no real resolution for him and it seemed as if they were just tired of him. Desmond needed a proper send off with some actual closure; not an ending that screamed, 'Hey, we're kind of bored and tired of this guy, so we're getting rid of him okay? 'Kay, see ya!'
Those were the big things that really disappointed me and made me nuts. My thinking was I couldn't believe they spent three years working on this game and this is what we got. I loved the previous Assassin's Creed games and I was genuinely excited for this one, but there were many things that disappointed me. While I liked the game and I did like the ending (not the thing that happened to Desmond because that was some bullshit), I didn't love it. It felt like perhaps they rushed a bit or just didn't test things out fully to make sure they worked right (I'm looking at you, lock picking controls team) or they couldn't be bothered. I'm not expecting perfection, but after working on something for three years, you better be able to deliver the goods. This is just my take on it, if you want to try it out by all means, go ahead. Just don't expect stellar, because that is not going to happen. Expect kind of good, but not great, and fun to play through once.