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Cthulhu's Vault
Cthulhu's Vault
2015 | Adventure, Card Game
As a kid, one thing my siblings and I used to do was play a storytelling game in which we created a (usually) hilarious story, one word at a time. You know the kind. One person starts the sentence with a single word, the next person in line adds a word, and so on, resulting in some ridiculous storyline that ultimately makes little overall sense. So when I heard about Cthulhu’s Vault, a game with a storytelling aspect, I was keen to try it! Even though the subject matter is obviously a little darker, does the overall game live up to my childhood memories of creating stories?

Cthulhu’s Vault is a card game in which players are working together to craft an occult story, which will ultimately lead to a final battle with one of the Ancient Ones. To setup the game, each player receives an Ancient One card (kept face-down), 7 Story cards, and 2 Power tokens (one Investigator and one Cultist). Power tokens are kept face-down and are secret from other players. The remaining Power tokens are placed into two pools – either face-up or face-down as described in the rules – and a starting Story card is drawn and placed in the middle of the play area. The Power Guide card is placed off to the side, visible to players, and shows the amount of Cultist Power necessary to awaken your Ancient One during play. Select a starting player, and the game is ready to begin!

The game is broken down into two phases: the Mystery Stage and the Epic Battle Stage. The Mystery Stage begins the game, and consists of the storytelling element. On your turn, you will select a Story card from your hand and play it to the table. Here’s the catch – all players are trying to create a cohesive storyline, so you are encouraged to narrate and chain together a single story with the addition of each new Story card. After you play your Story card and tell your brief addition to the tale, you will collect a number of Power tokens as described on your played Story card, receiving Bonus tokens if applicable. The Mystery Stage continues in this fashion until a player has acquired the requisite number of Cultist Power tokens necessary to awaken their Ancient One. At the start of that turn, the player will reveal their Ancient One, and the Mystery Stage ends immediately.

Moving on to the Epic Battle Stage, there is a small bit of setup. All remaining Story cards are discarded, and Investigator cards are displayed. The player who awoke their Ancient One collects a number of Power tokens equal to the health of their creature, gathers/shuffles the Ancient One Combat Deck, and draws a hand of 3 Combat cards. All remaining players will select an Investigator to play, in order, depending on the total number of Investigator Power tokens gained during the Mystery Stage. Players will discard down to/collect a number of Power tokens to match the health of their Investigator, shuffle the Investigator Combat Deck, and draw a number of cards as dictated by their Investigator card. A Battle Order deck is created and shuffled, and will dictate the order of actions during each Epic Battle turn. The Epic Battle Stage is now ready to begin.


During the Epic Battle, a card from the Battle Order deck is revealed – either an Investigator or the Ancient One. The corresponding player will then act, playing a card from their hand, performing the action (usually Wounding the opponent), and then drawing back up to their hand limit. Play continues in this way until either the Ancient One is defeated (all Health depleted), or all the Investigators are devoured by the Ancient One. If the Ancient One is defeated, the Investigators have won! And if the Ancient One has eliminated all the Investigators, then that player wins. Either way, whomever wins is encouraged to come up with a brief epilogue to bring the overall story to an end.
So all in all, how does Cthulhu’s Vault fare? Honestly, not too great. Let’s start with the rulebook. It has some areas of serious ambiguity and confusion, which made this game kind of tough and frustrating for me to learn at first. Now that I think I’ve got it figured out, it’s ok, but that first read-through was rough. Now getting down to the actual gameplay. I can appreciate what the game is trying to do – have players create a story and then engage in their narrated battle – but the two phases of the game seem very disjointed to me. It kind of feels like you are playing 2 separate games in one. You get to have some creative fun making up a spooky story, which is then swiftly forgotten as combat ensues. There is little to no connection between the two phases, and that lack of connection makes the storytelling phase seem obsolete.


Another thing to consider when checking this game out is the group of people with whom you will play. To really get a fun, immersive story going, all players need to be willing to embrace the storytelling aspect, and get into the narrative. Requiring that type of creativity on the spot can make some players uncomfortable, and they just might not enjoy that element of the game. Let’s touch on components for a minute. I think that for the most part, the production quality is fine! The Story, Investigator, and Ancient One cards are all oversized, sturdy, and feature some neat spooky art and flavor text. The Combat cards are normal sized, and for the most part clear in their text/actions. The Power tokens are small wooden discs, and are fun to play with. The version I have is in a tin, not a cardboard box, and the tin is nice and sturdy too. Overall, good quality game.
In theory, I think Cthulhu’s Vault is a neat game. The actual execution of the gameplay doesn’t quite hit the mark for me though. The lack of connection between the two phases of the game really detracts from the overall immersion. If there were a stronger connection, perhaps I would like it more, but as it stands, it just feels like 2 separate games in one box. If you’re into storytelling games, I would consider Cthulhu’s Vault because it does provide a neat opportunity for players to craft a unified story. But the shift to the combat phase feels sudden and unrelated. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a fiendish 5 / 12.
  
The One and Only Ivan (2020)
The One and Only Ivan (2020)
2020 | Adventure, Family
Better than most CGI talking animal Disney movies
Originally scheduled for a cinematic release, but now arriving on Disney+ instead, The One and Only Ivan is the latest in a long line of stories involving CGI animals who can talk, banding together to outsmart us humans in order to escape captivity. Only this one is actually based on a true story.

There were no talking animals in the real version of events this is based on, but there was a silverback gorilla named Ivan,

Stolen as an infant from the rainforests of Congo and made to live in a tiny cage, while regularly putting on a show for visitors to a shopping centre for 27 years in total. This being a Disney movie though, the cruelty of that is glossed over somewhat, with funny animal friends with wacky voices aiming to brighten things up. Although, the message that his captivity was wrong is certainly there for all to see, and hopefully to be appreciated.

Bryan Cranston is Mack, the showman responsible for raising Ivan and making him a star, bristling when enthusiasm and “the show must go on” spirit, despite dwindling audiences and occasional animal illness. From flashbacks, it’s clear that Mack loves Ivan, his passion for raising him having cost him his marriage. But now that Ivan is the star of the show at the mini circus in the mall, complacency has set in, and Mack cannot see that all Ivan now truly wants is his freedom.

In an attempt to try and bring in the crowds, Mack brings in a baby elephant, which takes over top billing status from Ivan, much to his disappointment. Elderly elephant Stella (Angelina Jolie) takes the new baby under her wing, and during some late night storytelling sessions between the animals, we learn that Ivan had a sister back in the jungle, and was actually a budding artist, using mud to paint on rocks. When Julia, young daughter of one of the helping hands at the circus, gives Ivan some of her old crayons and finger paints, Ivan begins drawing again, and is soon moved back up to top billing in the show.

When I first saw the trailer for The One and Only Ivan, I was totally on board. That is, until the animals started talking. I thought the CGI remake of The Lion King last year was just terrible, and the Lady and the Tramp remake which landed on Disney+ earlier this year was even worse. Realistic looking animals simply cannot convey emotions like their traditionally animated counterparts, while retaining their realistic looks. But The One and Only Ivan thankfully feels so different, much better than those movies do. And a lot of that is down to the voice cast.

Sam Rockwell is Ivan. Perfectly cast, he brings a real much needed gravitas to the sombre silverback. Along with the stray dog (Danny DeVito) that visits Ivan’s cage and sleeps on his belly at night, they form a delightful double act, discussing freedom, and the fortunes of the circus. With a lot of time being spent with the animals in their cages, the movie does drag a little at times, but then maybe that’s the whole idea – portraying the solitude and boredom experienced when you do not have your freedom.

As if it wasn’t already clear enough, The One and Only Ivan nicely drives home the important message that animals really shouldn’t be kept in pokey cages for long periods of time, and certainly not for decades either. The end of the movie reminds us that Ivan’s story is actually based on truth, as we’re shown photos of the real Ivan, who stayed with a family before becoming a circus act. Seeing the photos of his eventual release to the vastly improved setting of Atlanta zoo, where he lived out the rest of his days, certainly proves to be very emotional, and a fitting end to a surprisingly enjoyable family movie.
  
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The Brothers Grimsby (2016)
The Brothers Grimsby (2016)
2016 | Comedy
5
6.7 (3 Ratings)
Movie Rating
It's grim in England (apparently)
It’s probably accurate to say that Sacha Baron Cohen’s sense of humour is a little like marmite, it’s a love or hate kind of affair. Offering up characters like Borat and Bruno to the unsuspecting public has proved beneficial to him over the years; with the outlandish antics of those personalities drawing in massive audiences.

His latest offering, English football hooligan Nobby Butcher, promises to be one of his most controversial roles to date, but does the corresponding film, simply titled Grimsby, push the boundaries a little too far?

Cohen’s beer-drinking, benefit-swindling character stars alongside his long-lost brother Sebastian, played by an incredibly wasted Mark Strong. It just so happens that Seb is a secret agent, on the run after an incident at a global health event. What ensues is a formulaic Cohen comedy that utilises every orifice known to the human body – this is definitely low-brow humour.

After getting over the truly horrific portrayal of life up north, and the appalling representation of a town that is no-where near as bad as is reflected, Grimsby is actually a reasonably funny spy caper – not in the league of last year’s Spy – but certainly better than say Johnny English: Reborn or to some extent, Get Smart.

A talented cast bolsters Cohen and Strong with Nobby’s girlfriend Dawn, played by Rebel Wilson, providing some of the film’s funniest moments, despite her lack of screen time.

Elsewhere, Penelope Cruz’s role is a wasted opportunity and she suffers the same fate here as she did in Zoolander 2. Isla Fisher, Ricky Tomlinson and Johnny Vegas are unfortunately all underused as Clash of the Titans director Louis Leterrier focuses on the main pair.

Leterrier’s work on big blockbusters also helps move Grimsby through its ridiculously swift run time. At less than 90 minutes, the story is stretched to the brink, though there are some clever scenes, including a brilliantly choreographed chase through tight urban streets at the beginning.

Unfortunately, the gags miss their targets more than they hit. Your individual views on toilet humour will ultimately decide whether or not Grimsby is funny and some of the comedic elements intermittently cross the line, an ill-timed HIV joke being one of them.

It’s fair to say you’ll be cringing one minute, and roaring with embarrassed laughter the next.

Nevertheless, Cohen has promised time and time again that he has no time for personal opinions on his films and with each new character; he continues to deliver on that promise. Whether or not his target audience is getting tired is another story completely.

Overall, Grimsby is a movie that is unapologetic with what it is trying to achieve. From homophobic comments, casual racism and a grim depiction of life in Northern England, it’s everything we should despise in modern film-making. However, there’s just something about Cohen’s brazen attitude that keeps us coming back for more.

If you’re reading this Sacha, don’t visit Grimsby for a while, there’s a bounty on your head.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2016/02/27/its-grim-in-england-apparently-grimsby-review/
  
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