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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated The Greatest Showman (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
This IS the Greatest Show!
I sometimes wonder how “proper” UK film critics view films early for review. Is there a ‘special screening’ which all the film critics attend in London? The point I’m getting at is whether the collective critical opinion of a movie can be swayed by a critic leaping to their feet and wildly applauding a film like “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” or, alternatively, snorting in derision at a film like “The Greatest Showman”. For sometimes the critics seem to get it massively wrong across the board, panning a film that the general public will adore. Unfortunately, this has the effect of putting the general public off seeing it, especially in the lethargic post-Christmas period. I think here is a case in point. It’s not the best little film in the world, but as a musical crowd-pleaser it delivers in spades.
Will you like “The Greatest Showman”? This will be dictated almost entirely by whether you are a “musicals” person or not! For “The Greatest Showman” is a frothy, very loud, cheesy and high-energy musical, much more aligned, in fact, to the mainstream genre from the 40’s and 50’s than “La La Land” was.
Roll up, roll up. The circus cast entertain.
In a VERY loose interpretation of the early life of Phineas Taylor Barnum, the American huckster and impressario, we start the story with a pre-pubescent Barnum (Ellis Rubin, sung by Ziv Zaifman) as a young tailor’s assistant punching above his weight with young socialite Charity (Skylar Dunn), firmly against the wishes of her father. Spin forward (via song) and the hitched Barnum’s – now Hugh Jackman (“Logan“) and Michelle Williams (“Manchester By The Sea“) – are barely scraping a living. But Barnum has “A Million Dreams” and hits on the novel idea of opening an entertainment (coined “a circus” by journalist James Gordon Bennett (Paul Sparks)) where he offers both respect and a family to those of the city who are deformed, rejected and socially shunned. Barnum’s show is shockingly entertaining – as in both filling seats and shocking the morally-self-righteous upper classes. But never one to rest on his laurels, Barnum’s endless ambition drives him to break his social ceiling by importing the “Swedish songbird”, opera singer Jenny Lind (Rebecca Ferguson, “Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation“, “The Snowman“) ), for an ambitious and extravegant tour of the States. All does not exactly go to plan.
Washing day tunes. Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams take to the rooftops.
As I’ve said, most critics have been making sniffy noises about this film. But I am not one of them…. I LOVED IT, have already bought the glorious soundtrack album and will be looking forwards to the DVD release. For this is joy in a box. Sure, the story is a bit weak, the characterisations of everyone (other than Barnum) pretty lightweight, but it’s a musical extravaganza! Live with it!
Hugh Jackman, who of course started his career in stage musicals, is marvellously charismatic as Barnum although his singing does tend to the “shouty” end of the scale in many of the numbers. He’s joined here by fellow musicals star Zac Efron (let’s forget “Dirty Grandpa“) as the fictitious Phillip Carlyle: a socialite playwright and partner.
But the acting and singing revelation for me was Zendaya (“Spider-Man: Homecoming“) as Efron’s (scandalous) inter-racial love interest, who has a fantastically athletic body, sings and dances wonderfully and has a magnetic stare. A marvellous trapeze routine between Efron and Zendaya (“Rewrite The Stars”) is one of the high-spots of the film for me.
An energetic dance. Zendaya and Efron take to the skies.
Elsewhere Williams proves she has a singing voice as well as being a top flight actress and the bearded lady (Broadway star Keala Settle) belts out one of the show-stopping numbers “This is Me” (although she is a little ‘shrill’ for my musical tastes).
It would be nice to extend that compliment to the wonderful Rebecca Ferguson as the “greatest singer in the world” – but she is (wisely I think) dubbed here by Loren Allred (a finalist on the US version of “The Voice”). It is a bit of a shock when “the great opera singer” opens her mouth and a modern love song comes out, but once you get over that then the combination of Ferguson’s acting and Allred’s singing makes “Never Enough” one of the standout songs in the movie. (It’s been described as “a bit Eurovision” by Kevin Maher, “The Times” critic, which I can see but I don’t care! I find it marvellously moving).
A dangerous songbird’s nest for the married Barnum. Rebecca Ferguson and Hugh Jackman.
If you haven’t guessed it, there are some fantastic songs in this movie, written by “La La Land” song composers Benj Pasek and Justin Paul and at least one of these surely must be Oscar nominated (I’m not sure what the cut-off would be for the 2018 Oscars?).
There’s also a lot of talent in the backroom with production design and memorable costumes. Where I’d single out particular praise though is in the choreography and the editing on show.
Firstly, the choreography of “beats” in the song to the action on screen is brilliantly done, done, probably at its most impressive in a shot-glass bar-room scene between Jackman and Efron. And never (hats off to the special effects guys and cinematographer Seamus McGarvey) have you seen washing on a washing line so cleverly in time with the music.
Secondly in terms of the film editing, I am a sucker for clever “transition” shots, and there are some in this movie that just took my breath away: a transition to a pregnant Charity; a transition from ballet practice to ballet performance; there are numerous others!
Inverted magnetism. Zendaya as the trapeze artist Anne Wheeler.
I have decided to park some of my minor criticisms within the greater joy of the whole: some of the dialogue (by Jenny Bicks and Bill Condon) is as cheesy as hell, but probably no more so than in some of the Judy Garland/Mickey Rooney musicals. Where I had my biggest problem is in some of the lip synching to the songs. This is an age where the live recording of songs in films like “Les Miserables” and “La La Land” has set the bar high, and returning to the norm (I had the same problem with “Beauty and the Beast“) becomes noticeable and irritating to me. (Perhaps this is just me!).
It’s certainly not a perfect film, but its energy and drive carry it through as a memorable movie musical that may well take on a life of its own as word-of-mouth gets it more widely viewed (outside of the rather difficult Christmas holiday season). It would also be a good film for youngsters, with a bit of judicious editing (there is one moment of violence in the first 10 minutes that I would choose to edit out). From my perspective it is certainly a truly impressive debut for advert director Michael Gracey. Recommended for musical fans.
Will you like “The Greatest Showman”? This will be dictated almost entirely by whether you are a “musicals” person or not! For “The Greatest Showman” is a frothy, very loud, cheesy and high-energy musical, much more aligned, in fact, to the mainstream genre from the 40’s and 50’s than “La La Land” was.
Roll up, roll up. The circus cast entertain.
In a VERY loose interpretation of the early life of Phineas Taylor Barnum, the American huckster and impressario, we start the story with a pre-pubescent Barnum (Ellis Rubin, sung by Ziv Zaifman) as a young tailor’s assistant punching above his weight with young socialite Charity (Skylar Dunn), firmly against the wishes of her father. Spin forward (via song) and the hitched Barnum’s – now Hugh Jackman (“Logan“) and Michelle Williams (“Manchester By The Sea“) – are barely scraping a living. But Barnum has “A Million Dreams” and hits on the novel idea of opening an entertainment (coined “a circus” by journalist James Gordon Bennett (Paul Sparks)) where he offers both respect and a family to those of the city who are deformed, rejected and socially shunned. Barnum’s show is shockingly entertaining – as in both filling seats and shocking the morally-self-righteous upper classes. But never one to rest on his laurels, Barnum’s endless ambition drives him to break his social ceiling by importing the “Swedish songbird”, opera singer Jenny Lind (Rebecca Ferguson, “Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation“, “The Snowman“) ), for an ambitious and extravegant tour of the States. All does not exactly go to plan.
Washing day tunes. Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams take to the rooftops.
As I’ve said, most critics have been making sniffy noises about this film. But I am not one of them…. I LOVED IT, have already bought the glorious soundtrack album and will be looking forwards to the DVD release. For this is joy in a box. Sure, the story is a bit weak, the characterisations of everyone (other than Barnum) pretty lightweight, but it’s a musical extravaganza! Live with it!
Hugh Jackman, who of course started his career in stage musicals, is marvellously charismatic as Barnum although his singing does tend to the “shouty” end of the scale in many of the numbers. He’s joined here by fellow musicals star Zac Efron (let’s forget “Dirty Grandpa“) as the fictitious Phillip Carlyle: a socialite playwright and partner.
But the acting and singing revelation for me was Zendaya (“Spider-Man: Homecoming“) as Efron’s (scandalous) inter-racial love interest, who has a fantastically athletic body, sings and dances wonderfully and has a magnetic stare. A marvellous trapeze routine between Efron and Zendaya (“Rewrite The Stars”) is one of the high-spots of the film for me.
An energetic dance. Zendaya and Efron take to the skies.
Elsewhere Williams proves she has a singing voice as well as being a top flight actress and the bearded lady (Broadway star Keala Settle) belts out one of the show-stopping numbers “This is Me” (although she is a little ‘shrill’ for my musical tastes).
It would be nice to extend that compliment to the wonderful Rebecca Ferguson as the “greatest singer in the world” – but she is (wisely I think) dubbed here by Loren Allred (a finalist on the US version of “The Voice”). It is a bit of a shock when “the great opera singer” opens her mouth and a modern love song comes out, but once you get over that then the combination of Ferguson’s acting and Allred’s singing makes “Never Enough” one of the standout songs in the movie. (It’s been described as “a bit Eurovision” by Kevin Maher, “The Times” critic, which I can see but I don’t care! I find it marvellously moving).
A dangerous songbird’s nest for the married Barnum. Rebecca Ferguson and Hugh Jackman.
If you haven’t guessed it, there are some fantastic songs in this movie, written by “La La Land” song composers Benj Pasek and Justin Paul and at least one of these surely must be Oscar nominated (I’m not sure what the cut-off would be for the 2018 Oscars?).
There’s also a lot of talent in the backroom with production design and memorable costumes. Where I’d single out particular praise though is in the choreography and the editing on show.
Firstly, the choreography of “beats” in the song to the action on screen is brilliantly done, done, probably at its most impressive in a shot-glass bar-room scene between Jackman and Efron. And never (hats off to the special effects guys and cinematographer Seamus McGarvey) have you seen washing on a washing line so cleverly in time with the music.
Secondly in terms of the film editing, I am a sucker for clever “transition” shots, and there are some in this movie that just took my breath away: a transition to a pregnant Charity; a transition from ballet practice to ballet performance; there are numerous others!
Inverted magnetism. Zendaya as the trapeze artist Anne Wheeler.
I have decided to park some of my minor criticisms within the greater joy of the whole: some of the dialogue (by Jenny Bicks and Bill Condon) is as cheesy as hell, but probably no more so than in some of the Judy Garland/Mickey Rooney musicals. Where I had my biggest problem is in some of the lip synching to the songs. This is an age where the live recording of songs in films like “Les Miserables” and “La La Land” has set the bar high, and returning to the norm (I had the same problem with “Beauty and the Beast“) becomes noticeable and irritating to me. (Perhaps this is just me!).
It’s certainly not a perfect film, but its energy and drive carry it through as a memorable movie musical that may well take on a life of its own as word-of-mouth gets it more widely viewed (outside of the rather difficult Christmas holiday season). It would also be a good film for youngsters, with a bit of judicious editing (there is one moment of violence in the first 10 minutes that I would choose to edit out). From my perspective it is certainly a truly impressive debut for advert director Michael Gracey. Recommended for musical fans.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Tranquility in Tabletop Games
Oct 21, 2021
Are you a boat person? As in, do you enjoy lounging on a boat, floating to nowhere in particular, just enjoying the day? Or are you a thrill-seeking water-skiier or tuber that enjoys shredding the waves and nearly drowning? Perhaps you are neither. I am definitely in the first category. I would rather just toot around a lake in a boat, maybe throw out a fishing pole, and just enjoy being out on the water with little care for what may be happening in the world around me. So when I heard that Lucky Duck Games was planning on publishing Tranquility I just had to jump at the opportunity to get it on my table. And I was definitely impressed.
Tranquility is a cooperative hand management, tile placement card game for one to five players. In it players will be attempting to create a sea of islands around which they sail their boat towards infinite paradise. They will accomplish this by laying numbered cards from their hand in numerical order before any of the players run out of chances to play a card. Oh, and there’s also no talking during the game. That’s kind of a big deal.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup the standard game, place all the border cards around a 6×6 grid, as in the photo below. Shuffle the appropriate number of Start and Finish cards into the deck of Island cards and place that beside the grid. Draw a hand of five cards and the game may begin. Setup is similar to the multiplayer setup, with a few changes. Once the hand of cards has been drawn, the game may begin! It is the solo player’s goal to build the sea of island cards, and place the Start and Finish cards before they run out of cards to be legally played.
The game is played over many turns. Each turn players will be either playing a card from hand or discarding two cards. When a player plays a card from hand to the grid, they may place it anywhere they wish within the grid. The goal is to have each card placed numerically in order beginning from the lower left of the grid in a zig-zag pattern left to right, then ascending to the next highest level. In other words, the play area would be ordered numerically as English-speaking people read, but from the bottom up instead of the top down – like a reverse typewriter.
When a card is played, the player may choose to place it in its own area, or immediately next to another card already in play. If the new card is placed adjacent to an existing card, the player must discard cards equal to the difference between the values of the two adjacent cards. For example, if a 12 is placed next to a 14, then the player would need to discard two cards after placement. If a card is placed that is already in direct numerical order, no discards are needed. Again, a card at the right-hand edge of a row is adjacent to the card on the next row higher on the left-hand edge, and this is the most difficult aspect of the game to grasp for new players.
Should a player instead wish to discard two cards for their turn, they do so to their discard pile. After each action (playing a card or discarding two cards) the player will draw back up to their hand of five cards.
Eventually, the player will happen across the Start and Finish cards. In the solo game, when a Start card is placed (outside the grid, but in amongst the border cards in the lower left-hand corner), the player will need to draw eight cards from the draw deck, keep four, and discard the remaining eight. This eats up cards from the draw pile and draws the game closer to the end. When the grid is completed and all the numbered cards are in numerical order, the player may then play the Finish card to end the game. If all cards are properly placed the player wins! If not, they must try again. Probably immediately, because it is that kind of game.
Components. This game is a bunch of square cards in a cubic box. Now, while that doesn’t sound super exciting, the art on the cards certainly make up for the lack of component diversity. Each card is matte finished, which I prefer for cards with great art on them. And oh man, that art is something wonderful! I have always been a fan of Tristam Rossin’s art, and it is on full display here. The cards are, well, I guess I cannot find the correct word because they aren’t double-sided, but split on the horizontal, with a daytime scene on the “top” and a nighttime scene on the “bottom” (or vice-versa, however you feel). I have nothing but praise for the components here.
The gameplay is familiar in feel, but definitely a little different and a whole lot of fun. Fans of The Mind will find this familiar in that the game is structured around silent players building a grid/stack of numerically appropriate cards until the win condition is met. However, I have not been able to play The Mind solo, and Tranquility comes with solo rules in the box. So that’s a win in my book.
Now, Tranquility solo is no cakewalk. No, there are no other players to make crazy decisions to throw off any tactics planned, but you most certainly can misjudge where to place a card, and then be married to its position as you try to fill in all the appropriate cards around it. I learned that all too early when I decided my first game that I should try to divide the grid into equal sections and approximate where a 48 should go. Well, I’ll tell you now that a 48 has absolutely no business being a row above a 19 (check the photo above if you don’t believe me). Silly choices like this make for an afternoon of pondering optimal placements when unboxing your next play, and that brings a smile to my face. Any time I think about a game the next day or several days later and it entices me to play again with a different strategy, I feel is the mark of a great game.
I have yet to play this with a group (damn COVID), but I know the people I play with are going to love this one. And, honestly, I am going to love the peace and quiet as the game plays out, so I can think about my turn and then think about a different possibility once someone ruins my plans. But I tell you what, even as a solo game, this one is great. I am quite happy to keep this as a pure solo experience, but I do want to try it once with others. We do not typically give out ratings for Solo Chronicles reviews, but this one would be pretty high, I’m telling you now. Okay, I have to go get the boat ready and pack my cooler. Enjoy Tranquility!
Tranquility is a cooperative hand management, tile placement card game for one to five players. In it players will be attempting to create a sea of islands around which they sail their boat towards infinite paradise. They will accomplish this by laying numbered cards from their hand in numerical order before any of the players run out of chances to play a card. Oh, and there’s also no talking during the game. That’s kind of a big deal.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup the standard game, place all the border cards around a 6×6 grid, as in the photo below. Shuffle the appropriate number of Start and Finish cards into the deck of Island cards and place that beside the grid. Draw a hand of five cards and the game may begin. Setup is similar to the multiplayer setup, with a few changes. Once the hand of cards has been drawn, the game may begin! It is the solo player’s goal to build the sea of island cards, and place the Start and Finish cards before they run out of cards to be legally played.
The game is played over many turns. Each turn players will be either playing a card from hand or discarding two cards. When a player plays a card from hand to the grid, they may place it anywhere they wish within the grid. The goal is to have each card placed numerically in order beginning from the lower left of the grid in a zig-zag pattern left to right, then ascending to the next highest level. In other words, the play area would be ordered numerically as English-speaking people read, but from the bottom up instead of the top down – like a reverse typewriter.
When a card is played, the player may choose to place it in its own area, or immediately next to another card already in play. If the new card is placed adjacent to an existing card, the player must discard cards equal to the difference between the values of the two adjacent cards. For example, if a 12 is placed next to a 14, then the player would need to discard two cards after placement. If a card is placed that is already in direct numerical order, no discards are needed. Again, a card at the right-hand edge of a row is adjacent to the card on the next row higher on the left-hand edge, and this is the most difficult aspect of the game to grasp for new players.
Should a player instead wish to discard two cards for their turn, they do so to their discard pile. After each action (playing a card or discarding two cards) the player will draw back up to their hand of five cards.
Eventually, the player will happen across the Start and Finish cards. In the solo game, when a Start card is placed (outside the grid, but in amongst the border cards in the lower left-hand corner), the player will need to draw eight cards from the draw deck, keep four, and discard the remaining eight. This eats up cards from the draw pile and draws the game closer to the end. When the grid is completed and all the numbered cards are in numerical order, the player may then play the Finish card to end the game. If all cards are properly placed the player wins! If not, they must try again. Probably immediately, because it is that kind of game.
Components. This game is a bunch of square cards in a cubic box. Now, while that doesn’t sound super exciting, the art on the cards certainly make up for the lack of component diversity. Each card is matte finished, which I prefer for cards with great art on them. And oh man, that art is something wonderful! I have always been a fan of Tristam Rossin’s art, and it is on full display here. The cards are, well, I guess I cannot find the correct word because they aren’t double-sided, but split on the horizontal, with a daytime scene on the “top” and a nighttime scene on the “bottom” (or vice-versa, however you feel). I have nothing but praise for the components here.
The gameplay is familiar in feel, but definitely a little different and a whole lot of fun. Fans of The Mind will find this familiar in that the game is structured around silent players building a grid/stack of numerically appropriate cards until the win condition is met. However, I have not been able to play The Mind solo, and Tranquility comes with solo rules in the box. So that’s a win in my book.
Now, Tranquility solo is no cakewalk. No, there are no other players to make crazy decisions to throw off any tactics planned, but you most certainly can misjudge where to place a card, and then be married to its position as you try to fill in all the appropriate cards around it. I learned that all too early when I decided my first game that I should try to divide the grid into equal sections and approximate where a 48 should go. Well, I’ll tell you now that a 48 has absolutely no business being a row above a 19 (check the photo above if you don’t believe me). Silly choices like this make for an afternoon of pondering optimal placements when unboxing your next play, and that brings a smile to my face. Any time I think about a game the next day or several days later and it entices me to play again with a different strategy, I feel is the mark of a great game.
I have yet to play this with a group (damn COVID), but I know the people I play with are going to love this one. And, honestly, I am going to love the peace and quiet as the game plays out, so I can think about my turn and then think about a different possibility once someone ruins my plans. But I tell you what, even as a solo game, this one is great. I am quite happy to keep this as a pure solo experience, but I do want to try it once with others. We do not typically give out ratings for Solo Chronicles reviews, but this one would be pretty high, I’m telling you now. Okay, I have to go get the boat ready and pack my cooler. Enjoy Tranquility!
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Shelfie Stacker in Tabletop Games
Jul 29, 2021
I don’t know about you, but I love getting a new game. Unboxing it, punching tokens, reading the rules – it’s so satisfying! Now after that fun is done comes my dilemma: where to put it on my shelves… I know I’m not the only one that runs into this problem. I often see on Board Gamer Facebook groups queries about how to store/organize games. Do you place them vertically or horizontally? Organize by publisher? Size of box? Box color? Player counts? The list is nearly endless. So Arkus Games had the brilliant idea to make a meta-game in which you must sort and organize your game shelf! After having a good laugh at this theme and game, I decided to back it on Kickstarter. And as you can see above, it is one that has earned The Golden Feather Award for us!
Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, but rather provide an overview of the rules and gameplay. For a more in-depth look, check out the game at your FLGS or directly from the publisher. -L
Shelfie Stacker is a game of dice drafting and hand management in which players are trying to create the most prestigious board game shelf in the group. Players will be drafting dice, manipulating them with special abilities, and placing them on their Big Shelf in an effort to amass the most points by the end of 7 rounds. To setup for the game, each player receives a Big Shelf, Shelf of Shame, and Character Cards in their chosen color. Of the 16 Character Cards, you will select 8 with which to play this game, and return the others to the box. Place the Delivery Boxes in the center of the table (1 per player, plus 1 more), and place the dice into the dice bag. Randomly select 1 Sidekick, First to Claim, and End of Game cards and place them face-up in view of all players. The game is now ready to begin!
The game is played over a series of 7 rounds, each broken down into 5 phases. The first phase is to fill the Delivery Boxes. To do so, one player will draw and place 3 dice from the dice bag onto each Delivery Box. The dice don’t need to be rolled, but the drawing player shouldn’t change the faces in any way when placing. In the next phase, all players will select a Character Card to play. This will determine the turn order for the round. The Character Cards are numbered 1-16 (you only use 8 total cards in a game though), and each provide a special one-time ability for use in the game. Players select their Character Card in secret, and then will simultaneously reveal them. Starting with the player who played the lowest-value Character Card, each player will select one of the available Delivery Boxes as their own.
Once you have a Delivery Box, you will then start placing the dice in your Big Shelf! You must place all of your dice, following the placement rules (detailed in the rulebook). During this phase of the round is when most Character Card abilities will be used. These are one-time abilities to be used throughout the game, and allow you to manipulate your dice in various ways. One super important note is that the Character abilities do not need to be used on the same round in which they are played! So I could play a card for its number value (securing my spot in the turn order), but not use its ability until a later round. This really gives you the opportunity to strategize and potentially chain abilities together for maximum results! Once an ability has been used, it is discarded from the game and cannot be used again.
At any point during a round, a player may be able to claim the First to Claim or Sidekick cards, which provide end-game points. The first player to create the depicted pattern on the First to Claim card takes and keeps it for the end of the game. The Sidekick, however, won’t necessarily remain with one player. For example, I may have the most blue dice now and claim the Sidekick, but if in a later round you have more blue dice than me, you can steal it from me! If you are unable to place any/all of your dice on your Big Shelf. they will be placed on your Shelf of Shame *womp womp* and any dice there earn negative points in final scoring. When everyone has finished placing their dice, you prepare for the next round. The Delivery Boxes are returned to the center, and the game is ready to move to the next round.
After the 7th round, the game ends and final scoring takes place. Players can earn points in several ways: if columns get to a certain height, points per pip on the highest die of each column, bonus cards (First to Claim, Sidekick, and End of Game), and you lose 2 points for every die in your Shelf of Shame. Points are totaled and the player with the highest score is the winner!
Putting aside the humor and the theme, Shelfie Stacker is actually a very solid game. The premise is simple (manipulate and place dice) but the actual execution is more strategic than I first thought. The placement rules alone create quite a challenge. The first couple of rounds really determine your success in later rounds. If you don’t set yourself up early in the game with a good strategy, it could all come crashing down as the game progresses. Couple that with the Character Card abilities, and the strategy is elevated once more. You have to decide when to use which abilities, knowing that they are a one-time use. One of my favorite parts of this game is the fact that abilities do not have to be used immediately when played. So maybe I want to go early in the round so I play a low-value card. I can hang onto that special ability until I am ready to play it – I am not forced to use it until I decide to. This adds to the strategy because it allows you to choose when to use cards for maximum benefit, potentially even using multiple abilities in a row to get the desired result. Be warned though, this game could be a little AP-inducing as it gets into later rounds and you have to be more focused with your strategy. Not that the game necessarily halts altogether, but be ready for a little downtime as all players consider their options at the top of a round.
The components of Shelfie Stacker are excellent. The Big Shelf and Shelf of Shame boards are nice and thick dual-layered cardboard that really keep the dice in place. The dice themselves are fun colors, clear to read, and easy to manipulate. The artwork on all the cards is unique and fun, and the rulebook is clear and concise. So all in all, Shelfie Stacker gets an A+ from me with regards to production quality.
Obviously, as you saw in my graphic at the top of this review, Shelfie Stacker gets nothing but praise from me. The theme might not be one that appeals to everyone (especially non-gamers), but the gameplay is super solid and engaging. Every game is unique and strategically challenging, and it really puts you to the test mentally. If you’re in the market for something with a light and fun theme, but that really packs a punch with serious gameplay, I would highly recommend Shelfie Stacker. Then, of course, when you get it you have to decide where to put it on your shelf. The eternal struggle of gamers! Purple Phoenix Games awards this one the coveted Golden Feather Award! That’s right – I think this is a contender for my Top 10! Ooh, what if I put my Top 10 all together on my shelf……
Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, but rather provide an overview of the rules and gameplay. For a more in-depth look, check out the game at your FLGS or directly from the publisher. -L
Shelfie Stacker is a game of dice drafting and hand management in which players are trying to create the most prestigious board game shelf in the group. Players will be drafting dice, manipulating them with special abilities, and placing them on their Big Shelf in an effort to amass the most points by the end of 7 rounds. To setup for the game, each player receives a Big Shelf, Shelf of Shame, and Character Cards in their chosen color. Of the 16 Character Cards, you will select 8 with which to play this game, and return the others to the box. Place the Delivery Boxes in the center of the table (1 per player, plus 1 more), and place the dice into the dice bag. Randomly select 1 Sidekick, First to Claim, and End of Game cards and place them face-up in view of all players. The game is now ready to begin!
The game is played over a series of 7 rounds, each broken down into 5 phases. The first phase is to fill the Delivery Boxes. To do so, one player will draw and place 3 dice from the dice bag onto each Delivery Box. The dice don’t need to be rolled, but the drawing player shouldn’t change the faces in any way when placing. In the next phase, all players will select a Character Card to play. This will determine the turn order for the round. The Character Cards are numbered 1-16 (you only use 8 total cards in a game though), and each provide a special one-time ability for use in the game. Players select their Character Card in secret, and then will simultaneously reveal them. Starting with the player who played the lowest-value Character Card, each player will select one of the available Delivery Boxes as their own.
Once you have a Delivery Box, you will then start placing the dice in your Big Shelf! You must place all of your dice, following the placement rules (detailed in the rulebook). During this phase of the round is when most Character Card abilities will be used. These are one-time abilities to be used throughout the game, and allow you to manipulate your dice in various ways. One super important note is that the Character abilities do not need to be used on the same round in which they are played! So I could play a card for its number value (securing my spot in the turn order), but not use its ability until a later round. This really gives you the opportunity to strategize and potentially chain abilities together for maximum results! Once an ability has been used, it is discarded from the game and cannot be used again.
At any point during a round, a player may be able to claim the First to Claim or Sidekick cards, which provide end-game points. The first player to create the depicted pattern on the First to Claim card takes and keeps it for the end of the game. The Sidekick, however, won’t necessarily remain with one player. For example, I may have the most blue dice now and claim the Sidekick, but if in a later round you have more blue dice than me, you can steal it from me! If you are unable to place any/all of your dice on your Big Shelf. they will be placed on your Shelf of Shame *womp womp* and any dice there earn negative points in final scoring. When everyone has finished placing their dice, you prepare for the next round. The Delivery Boxes are returned to the center, and the game is ready to move to the next round.
After the 7th round, the game ends and final scoring takes place. Players can earn points in several ways: if columns get to a certain height, points per pip on the highest die of each column, bonus cards (First to Claim, Sidekick, and End of Game), and you lose 2 points for every die in your Shelf of Shame. Points are totaled and the player with the highest score is the winner!
Putting aside the humor and the theme, Shelfie Stacker is actually a very solid game. The premise is simple (manipulate and place dice) but the actual execution is more strategic than I first thought. The placement rules alone create quite a challenge. The first couple of rounds really determine your success in later rounds. If you don’t set yourself up early in the game with a good strategy, it could all come crashing down as the game progresses. Couple that with the Character Card abilities, and the strategy is elevated once more. You have to decide when to use which abilities, knowing that they are a one-time use. One of my favorite parts of this game is the fact that abilities do not have to be used immediately when played. So maybe I want to go early in the round so I play a low-value card. I can hang onto that special ability until I am ready to play it – I am not forced to use it until I decide to. This adds to the strategy because it allows you to choose when to use cards for maximum benefit, potentially even using multiple abilities in a row to get the desired result. Be warned though, this game could be a little AP-inducing as it gets into later rounds and you have to be more focused with your strategy. Not that the game necessarily halts altogether, but be ready for a little downtime as all players consider their options at the top of a round.
The components of Shelfie Stacker are excellent. The Big Shelf and Shelf of Shame boards are nice and thick dual-layered cardboard that really keep the dice in place. The dice themselves are fun colors, clear to read, and easy to manipulate. The artwork on all the cards is unique and fun, and the rulebook is clear and concise. So all in all, Shelfie Stacker gets an A+ from me with regards to production quality.
Obviously, as you saw in my graphic at the top of this review, Shelfie Stacker gets nothing but praise from me. The theme might not be one that appeals to everyone (especially non-gamers), but the gameplay is super solid and engaging. Every game is unique and strategically challenging, and it really puts you to the test mentally. If you’re in the market for something with a light and fun theme, but that really packs a punch with serious gameplay, I would highly recommend Shelfie Stacker. Then, of course, when you get it you have to decide where to put it on your shelf. The eternal struggle of gamers! Purple Phoenix Games awards this one the coveted Golden Feather Award! That’s right – I think this is a contender for my Top 10! Ooh, what if I put my Top 10 all together on my shelf……
Contains spoilers, click to show
Where to begin with my review? I guess I should start out by being completely honest and mentioning that I did not buy Cinder for myself, and I likely never would have either. After begging me to read it for a while, my best friend ended up buying me a copy for Christmas in the hope that I would give it a go. And to be fair to her, I did. Four times to be precise. The first three times I ended up giving up before chapter four. However, don't let that deter you. On my fourth attempt, I loved it! The only reason I can think of as to why I struggled the other times was because I was in a serious book hangover from another story. So I was a little reluctant to start a new story with characters I wasn't invested in yet, and a story I already knew. Or at least, I thought I did.
So let's start with the plot. Cinder is a retelling of Cinderella. Perhaps another reason for my lack of interest in the beginning as I've never really been a huge fan of that particular princess. What I do enjoy is a fresh twist on a well known story, so I should have known I would enjoy it if I gave it a chance. Like Cinderella, Cinder follows the story of a young girl who lives with her step-mother, and her two step-sisters, no love lost between them. In both, the girl leads a tough, though somewhat mundane life, right up until she meets her prince, and then things start to look up. Blah, blah, blah... We all know the story right? No. Marissa Meyer gives the traditional tale a new spin, and it was like reading the story for the first time. Because of this, I easily finished the story over one (busy) weekend. The story contained just the right mix of adventure, romance, and sci-fi to keep me hooked, even if -in places- the story seemed to drag a little. This was more than made up for with the explosive ending though. The story ends with enough unresolved conflict to keep you wanting more... And if you're anything like me, thankfully you don't have to wait months for the next one (It's called Scarlet BTW). Another great part of this story was the world building and backstory. At one point, the events of WW4 are mentioned, giving us a little insight as to how the world we know morphed into the one in the story. This also prevented the world from becoming too complicated when other races (The Lunars) are introduced, and helped blend the backstories of both races nicely. Lunars are the genetically mutated humans that live on the moon (Luna), and they have the ability to use a power known as "Glamour" to influence other's minds and make them see and believe what they want them to. This particular part impressed me as it was a clever way of introducing magic in an otherwise "normal" world. Because I'm a sucker for a bit of magic. The only real problem I had with this story was that the plot was somewhat predictable at times... For example, pretty much as soon as it was mentioned that there was once a princess who -if she was still alive- could usurp the Queen of the Lunars and restore peace to the two worlds... It was obvious that it was going to end up being Cinder. (This is confirmed at the end of the book).
Now, onto the characters! Meet our protagonist, Linh Cinder. Cinder is a sixteen-year-old living in New Beijing with her evil Step-mother and two step-sisters... But that's pretty much where the similarities with her and the traditional Cinderella end. Not only is our protagonist more than just a pretty face with a kind heart, she is a badass! Throughout the story she impressed me with her attitude, intelligence, and ability to call people out on their bullshit. Fair enough she came across a little whiny at times, but this can be overlooked when you remember she is pretty much still a child who has had a pretty rough life. Unable to remember her life before a crash that claimed the lives of her family, she was adopted by a man who soon died, leaving her at the mercy of his wife, who was not a fan of Cinder. Why, you ask? Well, Cinder is a cyborg, and that is unforgivable and clearly Cinder's fault... According to the step mother at least. Still, despite being shunned by most people who knew the truth about her, Cinder still manages to be a likable character. Yeah she has her flaws, but that's what I liked about her. She's realistic. She's embarrassed by the fact she is a cyborg, especially when she meets the handsome Prince Kai. It was frustrating at times to read scenes with these two, mainly because Cinder was reluctant to tell Kai about her being a cyborg, and it built a wall between them. I mean, I can see where she's coming from. It would be a nice change to just be a normal girl to someone after years of being told she was less. BUT DAMN GIRL! KAI IS A CINNAMON ROLL AND WOULD LOVE YOU EITHER WAY!!!
*Clears throat* Anyway, moving on... Now we can talk about Kai. Handsome, charming, clueless, Prince Kai. We meet Kai pretty early on in the story (first chapter in fact) and from the moment we meet him, we know he and Cinder are destined. Or at least I hope so... I haven't read the second book yet! The only child of the emperor, Kai will someday rule the Eastern Commonwealth. Unfortunately that day comes all too soon when his father contracts the plague and soon after dies, leaving the job to the young Prince. If I'm being completely honest, I was expecting him to crash and burn at some point, but I was pleasantly surprised when he managed to hack it, even going as far as to stand up to the Lunar Queen- A megabitch we will discuss later- despite the fact she could start a war that would cause chaos for the Earthlings. His character development was fun to read. He started as a charismatic prince with a rebellious streak, and by the end of the book he was an Emperor loyal to his people and smarter than he lets on. I was a little disappointed in his reaction to finding out Cinder was a cyborg (and a Lunar), but under the circumstances, he can be forgiven. I'm quite interested in how the rest of Emperor Kai's story is going to play out, especially as he seemed to have something planned at the end of the first book, but I have yet to see if my suspicions are correct about him.
Now time to talk about our main antagonist, Queen Levana AKA The Megabitch. As far as antagonists go, she isn't the most evil I've met, but she is one of the more interesting. Queen of the Lunars, she is a cold, flawless, evil lady, who hates technology, and is infamous for using her glamour to hide her true face. Her motives seem pretty simple. She wants to rule. As Queen of the Lunars, she can do this by marriage, or she can take it by force. She doesn't really seem to care which way she goes about it, but she does suggest a marriage alliance with Prince/Emperor Kai Puh-lease. He and Cinder are OTP. (Also, I have to praise Meyer for the lack of a love triangle here, even though it would have been easy enough to include one. Bless you, child!) For the majority of the story she seems to be cool and in control, which is worrying for those of us rooting for the heroes, but at the Ball Naturally Cinder manages to crack the flawless facade and give us a little insight to the Queen's weakness Score 1 for Cinder! I have a feeling though that the next time we see the Queen, she is going to up her game and really give our heroes some problems, but we shall see!
Overall, I really enjoyed Cinder and I'm glad that I gave it another go. I should really start listening when my friend suggests books to me. It was an entertaining, frustrating, and even heart-breaking story at times, but I loved it. Marissa Meyer has definitely earned another fan, and I cannot wait to get my hands on the rest of the series. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO MY SHIP. The book had a few issues of course, but not enough that I would hesitate to read the next book... Hopefully I'll get around to it soon! In the mean time, anyone debating reading Cinder, you should definitely do it! 100%. And if anyone -like me- is struggling to get into it... Stick at it! I swear it's worth it in the end!
So let's start with the plot. Cinder is a retelling of Cinderella. Perhaps another reason for my lack of interest in the beginning as I've never really been a huge fan of that particular princess. What I do enjoy is a fresh twist on a well known story, so I should have known I would enjoy it if I gave it a chance. Like Cinderella, Cinder follows the story of a young girl who lives with her step-mother, and her two step-sisters, no love lost between them. In both, the girl leads a tough, though somewhat mundane life, right up until she meets her prince, and then things start to look up. Blah, blah, blah... We all know the story right? No. Marissa Meyer gives the traditional tale a new spin, and it was like reading the story for the first time. Because of this, I easily finished the story over one (busy) weekend. The story contained just the right mix of adventure, romance, and sci-fi to keep me hooked, even if -in places- the story seemed to drag a little. This was more than made up for with the explosive ending though. The story ends with enough unresolved conflict to keep you wanting more... And if you're anything like me, thankfully you don't have to wait months for the next one (It's called Scarlet BTW). Another great part of this story was the world building and backstory. At one point, the events of WW4 are mentioned, giving us a little insight as to how the world we know morphed into the one in the story. This also prevented the world from becoming too complicated when other races (The Lunars) are introduced, and helped blend the backstories of both races nicely. Lunars are the genetically mutated humans that live on the moon (Luna), and they have the ability to use a power known as "Glamour" to influence other's minds and make them see and believe what they want them to. This particular part impressed me as it was a clever way of introducing magic in an otherwise "normal" world. Because I'm a sucker for a bit of magic. The only real problem I had with this story was that the plot was somewhat predictable at times... For example, pretty much as soon as it was mentioned that there was once a princess who -if she was still alive- could usurp the Queen of the Lunars and restore peace to the two worlds... It was obvious that it was going to end up being Cinder. (This is confirmed at the end of the book).
Now, onto the characters! Meet our protagonist, Linh Cinder. Cinder is a sixteen-year-old living in New Beijing with her evil Step-mother and two step-sisters... But that's pretty much where the similarities with her and the traditional Cinderella end. Not only is our protagonist more than just a pretty face with a kind heart, she is a badass! Throughout the story she impressed me with her attitude, intelligence, and ability to call people out on their bullshit. Fair enough she came across a little whiny at times, but this can be overlooked when you remember she is pretty much still a child who has had a pretty rough life. Unable to remember her life before a crash that claimed the lives of her family, she was adopted by a man who soon died, leaving her at the mercy of his wife, who was not a fan of Cinder. Why, you ask? Well, Cinder is a cyborg, and that is unforgivable and clearly Cinder's fault... According to the step mother at least. Still, despite being shunned by most people who knew the truth about her, Cinder still manages to be a likable character. Yeah she has her flaws, but that's what I liked about her. She's realistic. She's embarrassed by the fact she is a cyborg, especially when she meets the handsome Prince Kai. It was frustrating at times to read scenes with these two, mainly because Cinder was reluctant to tell Kai about her being a cyborg, and it built a wall between them. I mean, I can see where she's coming from. It would be a nice change to just be a normal girl to someone after years of being told she was less. BUT DAMN GIRL! KAI IS A CINNAMON ROLL AND WOULD LOVE YOU EITHER WAY!!!
*Clears throat* Anyway, moving on... Now we can talk about Kai. Handsome, charming, clueless, Prince Kai. We meet Kai pretty early on in the story (first chapter in fact) and from the moment we meet him, we know he and Cinder are destined. Or at least I hope so... I haven't read the second book yet! The only child of the emperor, Kai will someday rule the Eastern Commonwealth. Unfortunately that day comes all too soon when his father contracts the plague and soon after dies, leaving the job to the young Prince. If I'm being completely honest, I was expecting him to crash and burn at some point, but I was pleasantly surprised when he managed to hack it, even going as far as to stand up to the Lunar Queen- A megabitch we will discuss later- despite the fact she could start a war that would cause chaos for the Earthlings. His character development was fun to read. He started as a charismatic prince with a rebellious streak, and by the end of the book he was an Emperor loyal to his people and smarter than he lets on. I was a little disappointed in his reaction to finding out Cinder was a cyborg (and a Lunar), but under the circumstances, he can be forgiven. I'm quite interested in how the rest of Emperor Kai's story is going to play out, especially as he seemed to have something planned at the end of the first book, but I have yet to see if my suspicions are correct about him.
Now time to talk about our main antagonist, Queen Levana AKA The Megabitch. As far as antagonists go, she isn't the most evil I've met, but she is one of the more interesting. Queen of the Lunars, she is a cold, flawless, evil lady, who hates technology, and is infamous for using her glamour to hide her true face. Her motives seem pretty simple. She wants to rule. As Queen of the Lunars, she can do this by marriage, or she can take it by force. She doesn't really seem to care which way she goes about it, but she does suggest a marriage alliance with Prince/Emperor Kai Puh-lease. He and Cinder are OTP. (Also, I have to praise Meyer for the lack of a love triangle here, even though it would have been easy enough to include one. Bless you, child!) For the majority of the story she seems to be cool and in control, which is worrying for those of us rooting for the heroes, but at the Ball Naturally Cinder manages to crack the flawless facade and give us a little insight to the Queen's weakness Score 1 for Cinder! I have a feeling though that the next time we see the Queen, she is going to up her game and really give our heroes some problems, but we shall see!
Overall, I really enjoyed Cinder and I'm glad that I gave it another go. I should really start listening when my friend suggests books to me. It was an entertaining, frustrating, and even heart-breaking story at times, but I loved it. Marissa Meyer has definitely earned another fan, and I cannot wait to get my hands on the rest of the series. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO MY SHIP. The book had a few issues of course, but not enough that I would hesitate to read the next book... Hopefully I'll get around to it soon! In the mean time, anyone debating reading Cinder, you should definitely do it! 100%. And if anyone -like me- is struggling to get into it... Stick at it! I swear it's worth it in the end!
5 Minute Movie Guy (379 KP) rated If I Stay (2014) in Movies
Jun 28, 2019
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. That’s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that she’s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, she’s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether it’s really even worth it to endure life’s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.
Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.
Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.
First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.
If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.
(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)
Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.
Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.
First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.
If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.
(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)