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AVP - Alien Vs. Predator (2004)
AVP - Alien Vs. Predator (2004)
2004 | Action, Horror, Mystery
A missed opportunity
More than anything, AVP just pisses me off, usually when thinking about what could have been.
Why on earth is it PG-13, and why oh why was this historic meeting of two of cinemas most iconic aliens entrusted to Paul WS Anderson!?

I mean, in all honesty, both series had run out of gas at this point, so by the time AVP finally rolled around (14 years after the conflict had been teased at the end of Predator 2), it was never going to be much more than a gimmick, a shameless cash grab to get people in the cinema, hence the family friendly blockbuster nature of the film.
In terms of a big blockbuster, it's not terrible. There are some relatively entertaining moments here and there. The first clash between the titular monsters about 30 minutes in is undeniably surrounded by a sense of child like glee.
In terms of cast, it was a great touch to have Lance Henrikson involved, and Sanaa Lathan is a likeable enough badass-female lead, but everyone else is typical forgettable mercenary cannon fodder.
The effects work is pretty decent for the most part as well.

I can't help but feel that AVP is indeed a missed opportunity. The lack of tension, scares, or viscera just doesn't cut it when it comes to these franchises (although the piss poor sequel proved that more violence doesn't always improve a films quality), but I would have gladly accepted just one of the above mentioned features, but it lacks all of it.
There's a brief flashback which shows a handful of Predators fighting waves upon waves of xenomorphs, and whilst it's a great visual, it serves to remind you that there could have been a much better film produced.

I know that I sound like a miserable bastard and that's a fair enough assumption, and for what it's worth, AVP is watchable - easy Hollywood trash to digest, which is the exact opposite of what I feel an Alien film should be.
  
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
2021 | Horror, Thriller
8
6.7 (13 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Contains spoilers, click to show
I feel I should start this with something like 'I watched this so you don't have to' but that wouldn't be true. I watched this because I love 'So bad they're good' movies, so how could I not watch ' Nicolas Cage vs possessed animatronics in a family restaurant'.
So lets start with the obvious, Yes this is a 'Five nights at Freddy's' clone but that's never hidden, the poster, the trailer and even the films name tells you that.
Next, is it good? Hell yes. There are a lot of people out there who will say NO but that's the point. Willy's Wonderland is a modern 80's B movie and it's down there with the likes of 'Killer Klowns from Outer space' and "the Attack of the killer tomato's' or maybe something from Troma.
The animatronic costumes are creepy, their back story has been done before (but that's the point) and a lot of things make little sense, the restaurant seems to big, especially if you take the size of the air vents into consideration.
Then there's the Janitor, played by Nicolas Cage, who doesn't speak, has an alarm set so he knows when to have his next energy drink and who easily kicks the butt of the animatronics. That's it, there is no back story, almost no motivation and almost no reason for him being there. And we don't need it.


Willy's Wonderland is full of slasher and horror tropes. We have teens having sex and getting killed, we have Satanic cults, blood and creepy animatronics and almost nothing new. Except Nicolas Cage makes it his own. His performance is heading up to 'Mandy' levels but not quite as intense.


So, if you want to see a terrifying, serious horror then this isn't for you but, if you want to see Nicolas Cage beat up and animatronic ostrich then rip out it's spine ala Predator then this is the film for you (not really a spoiler, it's mostly in the trailer.)
  
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LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated When Will I Be Loved (2004) in Movies

Jul 4, 2021 (Updated Jul 4, 2021)  
When Will I Be Loved (2004)
When Will I Be Loved (2004)
2004 | Drama
"๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ฉ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ฅ๐˜บ'๐˜ด ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ญ, ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฌ ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ? ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฐ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด!"

A deeply, *deeply* misogynistic, artsy-fartsy disaster of stratospheric proportions where every slimebag man has some idiotic 'philosophical' defense as to why they need to manipulate this woman into letting them fuck her - made by a known serial sexual predator. I felt complicit for even entertaining the idea to watch such dogshit, like I needed a military-grade chemical shower after seeing it. Or to at least bleach my eyes. Might be the worst movie I've ever seen, if not then certainly somewhere down in the bottom 5 or 10. Written, edited, and shot like a bad high school student project with this unbearable non-story which rips off - of all movies - ๐˜๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜—๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ญ (by name, in fact)? Neve Campbell has sex with another women (without showing any skin of course) behind a transparent mesh curtain scored to a shitty Bach cover - imagine if that episode from "South Park" where the people smelled their own farts was real and you'd get this depth-free piece of shit. As cynical, uninvolved, and up-its-own-ass as ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜‹๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด is, at least that one actually went through with its promise of provocation. ๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ต๐˜บ ๐˜š๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜Ž๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ is unironically more provocative than this. Effectively just a series of bullshit conversations that go nowhere and shit-tier sex scenes more poorly thrown together than that one from Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part I. And then it also features horrible ass songs on the soundtrack because of course it does. One of the rare movies to bag Roger Ebert's highest rating... which was also 'earned' by fellow turds ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜Ž๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜Š๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ด and ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜Š๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด ๐˜ˆ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜–๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ (which - awful as they are - are masterpieces compared to this) so it shows how much that distinction is worth lmao. Shoot me now.
  
Invisible Girl
Invisible Girl
Lisa Jewell | 2020 | Mystery, Thriller
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
A dark, creepy read full of surprises
Owen Pick, a teacher in his thirties, has never had a relationship with a women. He's barely even had a successful date. He's teased by the young female students at the college where he works. He lives in a flat owned by his elderly aunt and recently has found solace on incel forums. Across the street from Owen lives the Fours family. They, frankly, find Owen creepy, especially mom Cate and her teenage daughter. Dad, Roan, a child psychologist, is too busy with work to care that much, while their teenage son is basically the only one Cate doesn't need to worry about. And then there's Saffyre Maddox. Now seventeen, Saffyre, was once a patient of Roan's. She misses their connection and seeks to maintain it by following him. Then, one night, Saffyre disappears, and it seems like Owen was the last person to see her. What truly happened to Saffyre?

After a bit of a slump with thrillers, I'm on a roll (though what's with ambiguous endings lately?). This was a creepy and ominous read! There is a lot going on here--Saffyre and her childhood issues; Owen and his many problems with women; and the complete dysfunction of the Fours family--but Jewell does a good job weaving them all together. The result is a tense and dark novel that keeps you guessing the entire time.

"I have a dark past, and I have dark thoughts." ~Saffyre

This is an engaging read, with Saffyre, Cate, and Owen turning into dynamic and unique voices. It's also ominous, with the overriding sense that something bad is going to happen. Secrets are the name of the game here, and Jewell turns the sexual predator theme on its head a bit. There's also plenty of revenge and strong women, which is great.

I wasn't a fan of the ending, which leaves things up in the end, but this is still a twisty ride with interesting characters and a different plot. 4 stars.
  
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ClareR (5991 KP) rated The Ophelia Girls in Books

Jan 18, 2022 (Updated Jan 18, 2022)  
The Ophelia Girls
The Ophelia Girls
Jane Healey | 2022 | Fiction & Poetry, LGBTQ+, Mystery, Thriller
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
There is no denying that The Ophelia Girls is a beautifully written, all-consuming novel. The main characters of Ruth and her daughter Maeve, are similar, in that they are both still searching for their place in the world. Ruth seems to feel uncomfortable back in her childhood home, where memories of the summer of 1973 seem to still consume her. Maeve on the other hand, is at the start of being able to make good memories, after being officially told that sheโ€™s in remission from leukaemia. But she still feels like a child - and she doesnโ€™t want to be.

And then along comes Stuart: her motherโ€™s childhood friend, and a friend of her fathers as well. Stuart makes Maeve feel seen. And this is where my internal klaxon went off. Stuart comes across as a predator. He notices Maeveโ€™s infatuation and revels in it, finally taking advantage of her feelings. At least this is how I interpreted it.

Maeve is a girl who has led a sheltered life - a life mainly in hospital. She hasnโ€™t had the opportunity to mix with other children, boys specifically, and has little life experience with the opposite sex. Regardless of that, Stuartโ€™s character truly made me see red. I know, I know, itโ€™s a book, but if I could have reached in, pulled him out and disposed of him (not thought that through properly, obviously), I would have. I will say that the sex scenes between Maeve and Stuart arenโ€™t written in a titillating way. Itโ€™s seen through Maeveโ€™s eyes, and she truly believes that he loves her. All the same, if this doesnโ€™t appeal to you, you might want to steer clear.

In contrast to her mother, Maeve does follow her heart, and the reader is left to decide whether she was actually any better off.

Do I recommend it? Yes, of course. Itโ€™s written with gorgeous, lyrical prose, and really makes you empathise with the characters. Iโ€™m glad I read it.
  
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Darren (1599 KP) rated Crawl (2019) in Movies

Aug 23, 2019  
Crawl (2019)
Crawl (2019)
2019 | Horror, Thriller
Injury Effects (0 more)
People in Florida not knowing how dangerous alligators are. (0 more)
Verdict: Intense Creature Feature

Story: Crawl starts when college swimming student Haley (Scodelario) who after a family disagreement with her father Dave (Pepper) hasnโ€™t spoken to him in a while gets a call from her sister Beth (Clark) to make sure their father is out of Florida after a hurricane has taken a turn to put him in the path of the destruction.
Haley arrives back home, bringing back the memories with father and his training to make her an elite swimming, only to find him injured in the crawlspace, where he has been a victim of an alligator attack, the two find themselves trapped against the alligators, with the flood water rising and time running out, can they make it out, that is the question.

Thoughts on Crawl

Characters โ€“ This is a film that only really has two characters in, we have Haley who is a college student on a scholarship for her swimming, she has been training her whole life and is starting to question her place in the sport going forward, she reluctantly goes to make sure her father has gotten out of Florida before the hurricane hits and here she must put aside their differences to face off against the alligators that are looking to feed. Her swimming skills do come in crucial when it comes to staying ahead of the gators, but she does fall into the stupid decisions being made. Dave is the father that has buried himself in work after his wife left him, he had spent most of Haleyโ€™s childhood coaching her to be the best in swimming, with them both getting success, he has however become injured due to the attack and helps his daughter to escape, so they can rebuild their relationship. Where the two have been going through a strained relationship, it does show how the working together process isnโ€™t working well to start with and as they rebuild their relationship, we see just how well they can work together.
Performances โ€“ Kaya Scodelario in the leading role is strong for the most part, we get to see how she manages to look like she isnโ€™t completely in a comfortable place with her future and that she will never give up the fight. Barry Pepper, despite spending most of the film injured, does bring us a strong performance too which shows us that both the main stars of the film do carry the load well.
Story โ€“ The story here follows a father and daughter that find themselves trapped in a crawlspace where they are being stalked by alligators, making walking out difficult, while also being in the path of a hurricane which will see them below water sooner rather than later. When we break down this story, we do have a creature feature film that does see man versus nature, with it being both natural disaster and a living predator. This is a battle to survive which does feel intense, even if the trailer does give away most of the filmโ€™s story, which is highly disappointing to see. This story does keep the pace up and does have the side of the story which sees the family needing to put aside their issues to make it out.
Action/Horror โ€“ The action comes from the alligator attacks, they are intense and show just how deadly they can be, this is a horror that wouldnโ€™t be terrifying to live through, this all shows just how deadly of a predator alligator can be.
Settings โ€“ The film is set in one location, the house where Haley grew up, starting with a large part inside the crawlspace under the house, it is contained, and you can understand why the gators would be in there too.
Special Effects โ€“ The effects when it comes to injuries are brutal to watch, with one scene involving a leg being placed back together standing out, the alligators look terrifying too through the film.

Scene of the Movie โ€“ Boat wave.
That Moment That Annoyed Me โ€“ Does nobody in Florida know how deadly Alligators are?
Final Thoughts โ€“ This is a fun and intense creature feature that doesnโ€™t hide away from the blood and will keep you on the edge of the seat.

Overall: Creature feature fun.
  
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Midge (525 KP) rated SEAL's Homecoming in Books

Jan 31, 2019 (Updated Jan 31, 2019)  
SEAL's Homecoming
SEAL's Homecoming
Leslie North | 2019 | Fiction & Poetry, Romance
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Hot romance (2 more)
Great lead characters
Action and suspense
A Delightful, Sexy Must Read!
I absolutely adored this wonderful, hot, little romance from the very beginning.

Chance McCallister is a Navy SEAL with dark brown eyes a perfectly honed body and likes sprucing up classic cars. He and his brothers have returned to their home town of Springwell, Georgia for their fatherโ€™s funeral. Chance buys the car parts from the garage that his ex-girlfriend owns, who he is trying to avoid and hasnโ€™t seen for twelve years. No problem, unless things start to get complicated....

Enter Mandy Loomis, a stunning, petite, curvy, russet-haired beauty, to whom he lost his virginity and who he thought heโ€™d marry until she ripped out his heart just before he left for the Navy. Mandyโ€™s gambler father died two years ago, leaving her the garage family business and a whole load of related debt, owed to a loan shark.
To Mandy, Chance was her childhood sweetheart who abandoned her 12 years ago. Then he was 18 years old, now she is drowning in lust for him and he is bigger, stronger and even sexier, with an aura of danger and a reputation of fighter and predator. Just as the two are beginning to realize they could have a future together, the loan shark starts to make some serious trouble for them, putting both their love and their lives in danger.

Although Chance has a bad-boy image, I loved the sexy chemistry between him and Mandy whenever they were together and they were both very likeable characters. Mandy is bright, ambitious, fiercely independent and very much knows her own mind. Chance is gorgeous and his actions are always carried out with good intentions.

"SEALโ€™s Homecoming" is a short fast-paced read with lots of action, some suspense and plenty of lust and love. Leslie North has written another brilliant story that was sweet and captivating to the end and loads of fun to read.

I would wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone.

Thank you to Hidden Gems and the author, Leslie North, for a free ARC of this book in exchange for a voluntary, honest review.
  
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JT (287 KP) rated Monsters (2010) in Movies

Mar 10, 2020  
Monsters (2010)
Monsters (2010)
2010 | Drama, Horror, International
8
6.3 (11 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Not so much a film about monsters, more about the human struggle to come to terms with the aftermath of an alien invasion. Whether the title was given purely for marketing reasons or not, Iโ€™m not sure, but it certainly doesnโ€™t deliver a plethora of monsters to the screen.

Instead, what is delivered here is an interesting and powerful character study of two people on a journey across a derelict and dangerous territory. A slow building drama and romantic relationship is the focus with the vast, perilous repercussions of man vs. monster as the intriguing backdrop.

Just like Jaws, it is about what you donโ€™t see that makes this film intense viewing. Edwards builds tension with the creepy, predator like noises that emanate from the squid-like monsters and with the ever present danger of the likelihood of a monster appearing I was totally captivated from start to finish.

The visual effects, especially the glowing alien eggs that I would liken to a Louise Bourgeois piece of tactile art add a magical air. I wanted to reach out into the screen and touch them. I was totally immersed in Gareth Edwardsโ€™ apocalyptic vision; his use of location and the handheld camera filming transports you into Mexico with veracity. He cleverly uses locals as the supporting cast and as they interact with each other and the two main characters I felt like I was watching a documentary.

There is one particular scene that stood out for me; they are camped out in the forest for the night and as they sit round the fire with the locals a really natural, jovial conversation starts to flow. The director cleverly puts the viewer off guard and just as I started to relax the tone of the scene changed into one of horror. There is much of this muted drama throughout but Edwards intersperses it with some truly grim, realistic footage.

Considering the small budget used to make Monsters, it is a remarkable film. If you are in the mood for a beautiful, well thought out film that has been directed with precision then go and see it. If you are expecting a monster extravaganza you may want to steer clear.