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Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Trivia question for you…what does an immortal evil queen, King Arthur, Nazis and a boy born from Hell itself have in common? If you answered Hellboy you win a prize. The prize is going to the theater and watching the film and whether it’s a prize worth winning is something you’ll have to decide for yourself. I’m getting a bit ahead of myself though, so let’s rewind a bit and start at the beginning.

Hellboy (David Harbour) is a demon from Hell (hence the name), his backstory as we learn early on in the movie is pretty standard fare. The Nazi’s are on the verge of losing World War II and in a desperate move to turn the tide call upon the evil sorcerer Rasputin to call upon the depths of Hell and raise a champion who will fight for them. The incantation is interrupted when famous Nazi hunter Lobster Johnson (Thomas Haden Church) goes in with guns blazing, as other allied troops join the fray. Their relief at stopping the incantation is short-lived as the alter opens and a young demon climbs through. Professor Broom who had infiltrated the Nazi team had been brought in to put down any evil that was successfully summoned. Upon seeing the young demon, Professor Broom (for reasons known only to him at the time) decides not to kill him, but to take him in and raise him as his own.

Flash forward to present day, and Hellboy as we now know him alongside his father are members of the B.P.R.D (Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense). On a mission to defeat some giants that are roaming the countryside in England they stumble upon an ancient evil that dark forces are trying to retrieve. It seems back in the dark ages a war between humans and monsters was being waged. Seeing no end to the violence King Arthur (Mark Stanley) and his faithful wizard Merlin (Brian Gleeson) offer to surrender to The Blood Queen (Milla Jovovich). On top the hill where the surrender is to take place, the Blood Queen is betrayed by one of her own and King Arthur, using the infamous blade Excalibur, cut the Blood Queen into several parts. While she can’t be killed, she can be contained and each of her body parts are placed in separate boxes. These boxes are then sealed with holy water that only a holy man can unlock and are sent to the farthest corners of England. If the Blood Queen ever returns, she will release a plague that will not only destroy England but spread across the entire world. Thus, sets the stage for Hellboy.

Being a fan of the previous movies and in particular the portrayal of Hellboy by Ron Pearlman, I wasn’t sure how to feel about David Harbour in this role. It’s always a bit hit or miss when a series is rebooted, and I was pleasantly surprised with how David Harbour stepped up and into the role. While he doesn’t have the same menacing size and gruffness that Ron Pearlman possesses, it didn’t take me long to adjust to this new version. He is joined by a strong supporting cast consisting of Sasha Lane as his ghost whispering friend Alice and Ben Daimo as an MI-11 agent weary of teaming up with a monster. Milla Jovovich does an outstanding job as the Blood Queen and her fairy-pig friend portrayed by Stephen Graham and Douglas Tait.

Visually the movie is stunning, with the numerous monsters and fairy creatures coming to life before your eyes. The movie is exceptionally gory as one might expect, with numerous limb dismemberments, decapitations, and more blood than anyone would expect to erupt from such wounds. It’s over-the-top and meant to be that way which tended to bring some uncomfortable laughter at times from those around me. Having recently played Mortal Kombat 11, I couldn’t help but feel that some of the fatality screens in that game would have felt right at home in this movie.

Story is where I feel Hellboy falls a bit flat. There are so many characters and side stories going on that it’s easy to get lost in it. From my description above, you can see that it includes King Arthur, Rasputin, Nazis, Secret Societies, Witches that eat children, monsters…and that’s only in the first half of the movie. There is a ton going on and there are a lot of disconnects. While trying to avoid spoilers, there is a part in the film where Hellboy is talking to Baba Yaga (see another character reference), and after tricking her she places a curse on him. I’m still trying to figure out if the curse she placed on him occurred in the movie or not. In fact, I’m trying to figure out exactly what the point of that scene was. It’s not a bad story, but it tries to pack in a TON of references in its brief hour and forty five-ish minutes.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve never read any of the Hellboy graphic novels, I have seen both of the previous films, so I had a little bit of background going into this movie. I don’t know if all the references in the movie are pivotal to the novels or not. You certainly don’t have to have read them or seen the previous movies to appreciate this one, I just wonder if they tried to fit in too many Hellboy references into one film. Hellboy is an enjoyable ride, and it certainly doesn’t drag at all, in fact I was surprised at how quickly it was over. With all that being said, it’s a fun action-packed movie, with lots of gratuitous violence if that’s your thing. I certainly wouldn’t recommend taking your children to see it, violence aside, I just think there is way too much going on and it can be difficult to follow. Oh, and don’t forget to stay through the credits for the end credit scene. It’s not pivotal to the movie, but worth waiting around for.
  
The Widow's House
The Widow's House
Carol Goodman | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry, Thriller
9
6.7 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
crazy (1 more)
fascinating
Jess and Clare Martin met at Bailey College, in the Hudson River valley, but have been living in New York for years. Jess wrote a successful first novel not long after graduation, but that money has long been spent. He's been working on his second book for ages; it's long overdue, and he needs a new muse. So the two decide to move back to the Hudson River area, where Jess can focus on the book without distractions. They take on duties as caretakers at Riven House, the home of their former college professor, Monty. They can live in a nearby cottage in exchange for helping the elderly Monty with chores. But the setup has its own issues: it's Monty, after all, who wrote a review of Jess' first book that torments him to this day. And as they settle in, Clare begins to hear a baby crying at night and see shadowy figures around the pond of Monty's property. As she investigates local history, she thinks what she sees may be tied to the house's tormented past. The locals say the place is haunted and destroys everyone who stays there. Are Clare and Jess next?

You know how sometimes you start a novel and immediately know, from the first page, that you'll enjoy it? THE WIDOW'S HOUSE was that way for me. It sucked me in immediately and kept me interested throughout; I read it in about 24 hours. The book is filled with complicated characters, starting with Clare. You start to realize she's the ultimate unreliable narrator, but are never able to tell exactly how much. She appears unhappy with her selfish author husband and her marriage. She had a rough childhood--growing up in the Hudson Valley not far from Monty's estate, which has clearly affected the way she sees the world. The entire story is told from her point of view, and we're stuck with all events being filtered through her lens. It's genius really, and it is a refreshing change from so many novels lately that change narrators and time periods. You find yourself working and guessing with Clare as she unravels local history and the events unfolding at Riven House.

The novel is certainly told in the Gothic tradition. I first fell for Goodman via her excellent novel, The Lake of Dead Languages, and this book reminded me of that one in some ways. Unlike some Gothic novels, you do not have to suspend much disbelief as the creepy events unfold around Clare and Jess. There are parts of this book that are incredibly spooky, and it's quite well-done. I loved that I was frantically flipping the pages, constantly second guessing everything and wondering what was happening. There are some great twists that shock you, even as you're still trying to figure things out in you're head (much like Clare). This novel will leave you guessing. It's crazy and confusing, but fascinating and incredibly hard to put down. It's completely enjoyable and stays with you after you've finished it, going over various plot points. Highly recommend.
  
I'll Take You There
I'll Take You There
Wally Lamb | 2016 | Fiction & Poetry
8
8.5 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
Felix Funicello is a film professor who lives in Connecticut. He is divorced and has one daughter, Eliza, who is currently working for New York Magazine. Felix also has two older sister, Simone and Frances who are an integral part of his life. Felix hold a movie club on Monday nights in the old Vaudeville theater in town. One night as he is setting up, he is visited by the ghost of Lois Weber, a renowned film director in her time. Lois shows Felix glimpses of his life along with the important women in it. Through these snapshots, Felix gains a greater understanding of the women in his life and women in general.

This book was reminiscent to A Christmas Carol, but he is visited by the same ghost, who brings three different visitors with her. Felix is first returned to his six year-old self. Where he and his sisters are helping their neighbor gather votes to become the next Rheingold Girl. Rheingold is a beer. This happens after his daughter tells him she has to write a piece about these girls.

The next transportation is a few years later when Felix is twelve. His mother and sister are talking in the kitchen about her boss being inappropriate with her at work. This part I heard just a few days after hearing day after day about a new man in a high position has been removed because of inappropriate behavior in the work place. Mind you, this is taking place in the early '60s and times were different, but some things never change. As Eliza, is telling her mother about what her boss has said, it's the mother's response that truly strikes me.
<i>"Men are men. Shapely girls like you just have to put up with stuff like that in the working world or else quit. Those are your choices."</i>
Thank God, those are no longer our choices, and that shouldn't have been the mentality then, maybe we wouldn't have all these issues today.

Also during this trip, Felix is given some news about his family that will change the dynamic forever.

The final time Lois comes to visit, the guest she brings, gives Felix a testimony that he has wondered about in the back of his mind for most of his life. That helps to fill a missing piece. The story is sad and is a part of the two previous visits from Lois.

All of these visits help Felix to be a better man, brother and father to the women in his life.

I think this is a very important book for all women to read, especially with the things going on in our world today. Told from the male point of view, I think it helps to see that some men can be empathetic to the plights of women. And this books covers a lot of those plights, from feminism, to abortion, adoption and acceptance. Years ago, I read She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb and I remember feeling the same way after reading it. Read them both.
  
The Book Of Mirrors
The Book Of Mirrors
E.O. Chirovici | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry, Mystery, Thriller
8
8.7 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
This novel may have been slow but I found its mystery so enticing that I loved moving and learning with each character. So many theories run through this novel that you’re never sure what to think, it’s a great classic murder mystery.

It’s only taken me almost a year to knock this book off my Netgalley shelf, but I finally got there! I’d seen lots of hype for this one at the beginning of 2017 but I still didn’t feel inclined to pick it up back then. Now I’ve read it, I’m glad that I waited. I think this one would have disappointed me if I had read it in its prime due to its slow nature, but I can appreciate slow books far more now than I could back then.

Like so many other reviewers, I did think this one was pretty slow paced, but I actually quite liked that about the plot. A cold case of over 20 years isn’t going to get solved overnight, so it was practical that it took a while to find out what really went on that night. I do think there were some sections of the book that were unnecessary and added to the slowness of the plot, for example when one narrator gets on a plane and there’s a whole segment about an irrelevant salesman talking to him and flirting with a girl. That bit wasn’t needed in any way for the plot to progress and did just feel like filler bumf, but I’ve read books with far worse filler scenes.

This story is told in a few different ways. It’s told in the perspective of 3 different people and then also as a book within a book. I really liked the way this was laid out and think having the 3 different tones of voice gave the story some character it could have missed out on had it just stayed with the one narrator.

Each character in this was interesting in their own way, and I liked that each person had their own story to tell while also moving the main mystery along.

In terms of plot, this one wasn’t the most innovative or astounding, but there was something enchanting about it. There were a few different theories as to Professor Weider’s demise and I liked that it kept you guessing all along. I was actually quite surprised and impressed by the end of the book, the conclusion to the mystery was cleverly thought out and well executed.

Looking at the reviews of this book I think people are being a little harsh. There are lots of books that are slow mysteries but this one seems to be pissing people off more than most. I know it’s down to everyone’s own opinion but I don’t see what the big issue with this one was. Personally, I enjoyed it.

<i>Thanks to Netgalley and Arrow for giving me the opportunity to read this in exchange for an honest review.</i>
  
The Missing Barbegazi
The Missing Barbegazi
H. S. Norup | 2018 | Children, Fiction & Poetry
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Lovely Christmas novel (0 more)
Nothing (0 more)
This is Helle Norup's debut novel and was featured as a Sunday Times Children's Book of the Year. It is magical and the perfect book to read as you curl up in your pyjamas with a cup of hot chocolate.


A Barbegazi, in case you are wondering as I did, is a type of Swiss mountain/snow elf with a long beard that can only live in freezing conditions and has a severe intolerance to iron. The story is told from the point of view of Tessa, a young skier and Gaiwon, a barbegazi who is hunting for his missing sister. No-one believes the barbegazi exist anymore except Tessa. The only other believer was her recently deceased opa (grandad) and a professor who wrote about them years before. The barbegazi, for their part, rescue humans who have been trapped and injured in avalanches, erasing their memories afterwards. They are extremely mistrusting of humans.

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Norup's passion for skiing, the Alps and magic are clear throughout the novel and I think this is what makes the story so captivating. I loved the development of Tessa from grieving for her grandfather and wanting everybody to believe he was right about the barbegazi to realising that fame and proving a point are less important than trust and friendship. She never wavers in her faith that the barbegazi still exist and is a headstrong and loveable character.


The highlight for me was definitely reading about the barbegazi themselves. I particularly love that despite being more than a hundred old, Gaiwon's parents still treat him like a child. I loved the argument between Gaiwon and his father as Gaiwon shouts "I cannot wait to get my own cave" and his father retorts:
"You can build one right now. And take your sesquicentennial hormones with you." This highlights that Norup doesn't 'write down' to the target audience but includes wide ranging vocabulary, as well as her own inventions, such as 'potzblitz', an emphatic expression of the barbegazi.


There is peril throughout the book though this is very mild. Tessa learns that people are not always as trustworthy as they seem. I always love the text-book sections that punctuate the novel (see photo below), describing features and traits of the barbegazi.

This is really effective with ambitious vocabulary for children and introduces them to another style of writing, combining fictive and non-fiction styles.
The book is set between Boxing Day and New Year's Eve, that magical time when you don't know what day it really is and we are all enjoying the post-Christmas days where we live in our pyjamas, eat too much and don't really do much of anything except relax and catch up. It was simply the most perfect time to read this book and imagine I was in a gorgeous Alpine ski lodge, surrounded by magical folk who will keep me safe in the snow.
This is a fantastic debut novel and I really can't wait to see what Norup offers up next. Thanks for making my Christmas even more magical, Helle!
  
Kim Possible (2019)
Kim Possible (2019)
2019 | Action, Comedy, Family
My name is Emma, and I still love Kim Possible. It's great fun and I will fight anyone who says it isn't. That is if we're talking about the animated series... that is gold, the live action film is not even tin foil.

I love Disney TV movies but I really wish they'd stick to originals or property that was already live action... stop remaking things that really don't need it.

Let's address the casting first.

Sean Giambrone as Ron was a solid bit of casting, the right amount of awkward and bumbling, the only thing is that for anyone who watches The Goldbergs he might just be a little too recognisable, but then I doubt many people will watch both of these things. Michael P. Northey as Mr Barkin, he was good, I was generally impressed... but in a world where we have Patrick Warburton why would we not cast Patrick Warburton? Patton Oswalt does evil genius voice fantastically and as Professor Demeantor he was a great pick. Getting a narrow pass, and it's the very finest of passess, Todd Stashwick. I enjoy him when he pops up in shows but he's no Drakken. He was also done wrong by the make-up department.

Everyone else? That's a no. Possibly the worst casting was on the Possible family themselves. I adore Alyson Hannigan but her Mrs. Dr. P. was no bueno. Same goes for Mr. Dr. P. After seeing them on screen I kind of assumed the story was going to revolve around them having been kidnapped and replaced by Bebes with extra nice programming. Jim and Tim were devoid of any of the character their cartoon counterparts had. And then there's Kim, I'm not sure there would have been anyone I'd have been happy with in this role but they've managed to create something very odd in this casting. Live action Kim acts physically like the cartoon does and yet somehow the personality didn't make the crossover with it.

The idea to take Kim down from the inside is one we've seen before with Eric the synthodrone who was used to further the Little Diablo world domination plan. It's a good narative and the twist we're given here isn't a bad one but the execution feels off.

The film turns the Kim Possible formula into a women kicking ass story but they do it really badly. Mrs. Dr. P. and Nana P. are brought on board and then just used as padding and left to be inept in a corner, it's a poor use of characters and a poor use of source material.

Of course the most important part is did they do Rufus right On the whole he wasn't bad and he certainly got his normal opportunity to come to the rescue so I'm going to say good job on that.

What you should do

Don't call her, don't beep her, if you want to watch Kim Possible then watch the series, this film needs to be forgotten in the depths of Disney+.

Movie thing you wish you could take home

The ability to fly through the air like I'm a cartoon character.
  
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