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Mandy and G.D. Burkhead (26 KP) rated Flightless Falcon in Books
May 20, 2018
Shelf Life – Flightless Falcon Still Glides Pretty Well
Flightless Falcon is a light DAW fantasy by Mickey Zucker Reichert that first came out in paperback in July of 2001. Set in your typical fantasy land – lightly coated in magic but sans any fantastical creatures such as dragons, elves, dwarves, and the like – it follows the sad, luckless exploits of an ex-miner named Tamison made useless after a cave in kills his father and brother and leaves him trapped deep in the mine for a few days.
Afterwards, with a debilitating fear of both the dark and being underground, he’s unable to continue as a miner, yet too unskilled to get any other job. As such, he and his family live in dirt poverty for a decade or so until he finally decides to try stealing what they need instead of earning the money to buy it. Unfortunately he’s just as horrible at this as anything else he tries and ends up in jail for two years.
When he finally gets out, his family’s disappeared, so he adopts a stray dog and lives on the streets for a while. Then one day a guard finds him and tells him, “Hey, I know where your family is, and it’s bad, man, we should go save ’em.” So Tamison saves a fortune teller from some different guards, just for good measure, and the three of them go off to get his family back.
The plot evolves from there – I won’t go into much greater detail because I don’t want to give anything away. And while it’s an entertaining read, it does have its share of snags, though not often or strong enough to derail the overall experience. Still, might was well talk about ’em.
The majority of these moments occur due to the protagonist himself; Tamison’s constant suffering and depression and worthlessness gets a bit irritating after a while (and not a very long while). But you do end up genuinely sympathizing with him, at least for the most part – his self-pitying and constant sobbing are offset, personality-wise, by his intense love and devotion to his family’s welfare (though apparently it still isn’t strong enough for him to suck up his phobia and go back to working in the mines). The end result is a character that, while whiny enough that you want to reach into the pages and smack him, is still believable. The fact that a lot of his misfortune is brought on by bad luck and the overwhelming apathy of the world around him, instead of just his own sad uselessness, also helps save what might have been an otherwise excruciatingly sad-sack protagonist.
But ignore what Miss Reichert and the back cover of the book say – the real star of this story isn’t Tamison, the guard (Dallan), or the fortune teller (Rifkah). It’s the weasely bastard of a con man that Tamison can’t stop running into, the aptly-named Con. This guy’s selfish lack of a moral compass and unwillingness to sugarcoat anything for anyone is a breath of fresh air amidst the hopeful optimism and general boyscout do-goodery of the rest of the starring party, and his quick wit and blunt, sarcastic dialogue are at once impressive and entertaining to read in the circumstances. His back story’s also far more interesting than anything Tamison, Dallan, and Rifkah can come up with.
The story itself also grows past a simple “save some good guys from some bad guys” fetch quest to envelope a degree of political intrigue, subterfuge, loyalty dilemmas, and good ol’ fashion backstabbery. I won’t say anything more past the obvious (there’s a twist, you know there’s gonna be a twist, there’s always a twist) other than to say that the generic good-guy-bad-guy feeling the book’s own synopsis offers slips slowly into a more realistic, more satisfying realm of uncertain grayness that accompanies all conflicts between the world’s two rival governments, the one Tamison belongs to and the one he’s told is harboring his missing family.
Basically, each time you think this book is going to march the plot or one of the characters into Generic Land (and you will occasionally think this multiple times), the direction skews off at the last moment to surprise you. The result is that you end up reading the book in two minds: one for soaking up the story and being entertained, and one with a critical eye turned always on the author’s style, to see where it threatens to stray into unimpressiveness and how it keeps saving itself.
But don’t focus overly much on my criticisms – that’s just how I’ve been trained to talk about good writing, to search for the roughest spots and pick at them in order to see how the whole thing might be polished even more. The reason this book is so easy to criticize is because its weak spots are few and manageable and therefor easy to cover and be done with in the length of a blog post. The overall impression I came away with is still one of a fun, thoughtful, imaginative tale, at times suspenseful, at times moving, and always deeply visual. I didn’t mention the detailed visual descriptions did I? Oh well, I just did. Now you know they’re there.
It’s not going to turn into the next blockbuster fantasy franchise, but if you find it in your used book store, there are less-enjoyable ways to spend your reading time. I recommend Flightless Falcon to anyone who enjoys well-written, character-driven fantasy and doesn’t need it to last through a dozen sequels.
Afterwards, with a debilitating fear of both the dark and being underground, he’s unable to continue as a miner, yet too unskilled to get any other job. As such, he and his family live in dirt poverty for a decade or so until he finally decides to try stealing what they need instead of earning the money to buy it. Unfortunately he’s just as horrible at this as anything else he tries and ends up in jail for two years.
When he finally gets out, his family’s disappeared, so he adopts a stray dog and lives on the streets for a while. Then one day a guard finds him and tells him, “Hey, I know where your family is, and it’s bad, man, we should go save ’em.” So Tamison saves a fortune teller from some different guards, just for good measure, and the three of them go off to get his family back.
The plot evolves from there – I won’t go into much greater detail because I don’t want to give anything away. And while it’s an entertaining read, it does have its share of snags, though not often or strong enough to derail the overall experience. Still, might was well talk about ’em.
The majority of these moments occur due to the protagonist himself; Tamison’s constant suffering and depression and worthlessness gets a bit irritating after a while (and not a very long while). But you do end up genuinely sympathizing with him, at least for the most part – his self-pitying and constant sobbing are offset, personality-wise, by his intense love and devotion to his family’s welfare (though apparently it still isn’t strong enough for him to suck up his phobia and go back to working in the mines). The end result is a character that, while whiny enough that you want to reach into the pages and smack him, is still believable. The fact that a lot of his misfortune is brought on by bad luck and the overwhelming apathy of the world around him, instead of just his own sad uselessness, also helps save what might have been an otherwise excruciatingly sad-sack protagonist.
But ignore what Miss Reichert and the back cover of the book say – the real star of this story isn’t Tamison, the guard (Dallan), or the fortune teller (Rifkah). It’s the weasely bastard of a con man that Tamison can’t stop running into, the aptly-named Con. This guy’s selfish lack of a moral compass and unwillingness to sugarcoat anything for anyone is a breath of fresh air amidst the hopeful optimism and general boyscout do-goodery of the rest of the starring party, and his quick wit and blunt, sarcastic dialogue are at once impressive and entertaining to read in the circumstances. His back story’s also far more interesting than anything Tamison, Dallan, and Rifkah can come up with.
The story itself also grows past a simple “save some good guys from some bad guys” fetch quest to envelope a degree of political intrigue, subterfuge, loyalty dilemmas, and good ol’ fashion backstabbery. I won’t say anything more past the obvious (there’s a twist, you know there’s gonna be a twist, there’s always a twist) other than to say that the generic good-guy-bad-guy feeling the book’s own synopsis offers slips slowly into a more realistic, more satisfying realm of uncertain grayness that accompanies all conflicts between the world’s two rival governments, the one Tamison belongs to and the one he’s told is harboring his missing family.
Basically, each time you think this book is going to march the plot or one of the characters into Generic Land (and you will occasionally think this multiple times), the direction skews off at the last moment to surprise you. The result is that you end up reading the book in two minds: one for soaking up the story and being entertained, and one with a critical eye turned always on the author’s style, to see where it threatens to stray into unimpressiveness and how it keeps saving itself.
But don’t focus overly much on my criticisms – that’s just how I’ve been trained to talk about good writing, to search for the roughest spots and pick at them in order to see how the whole thing might be polished even more. The reason this book is so easy to criticize is because its weak spots are few and manageable and therefor easy to cover and be done with in the length of a blog post. The overall impression I came away with is still one of a fun, thoughtful, imaginative tale, at times suspenseful, at times moving, and always deeply visual. I didn’t mention the detailed visual descriptions did I? Oh well, I just did. Now you know they’re there.
It’s not going to turn into the next blockbuster fantasy franchise, but if you find it in your used book store, there are less-enjoyable ways to spend your reading time. I recommend Flightless Falcon to anyone who enjoys well-written, character-driven fantasy and doesn’t need it to last through a dozen sequels.
Gareth von Kallenbach (965 KP) rated Star Trek (2009) in Movies
Aug 14, 2019
With declining attendance at conventions and a dwindling audience for recent films and the last Star Trek series, Enterprise, Paramount was desperate to find a way to breathe new life into their franchise. So they pinned their hopes on director J.J. Abrams. Even with a string of hit movies and television series under his belt, some believed that Abrams was facing an uphill battle in trying to resuscitate Star Trek, with its legions of rabid fans obsessively protective of the series’ 40-plus years of established history.
While many fans were thrilled with the choice of Abrams, some of the casting choices of its beloved characters were met with doubt and skepticism. Thankfully, the man behind such motion picture hits as “Cloverfield”, “Mission Impossible 3”, and television series LOST, Alias and Fringe, was more than up to the task and has crafted a visually spectacular action film that combines the best of Trek with groundbreaking effects and creative vitality.
Using a script by Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman, the new film focuses on the early days of the crew, and how young James. T. Kirk (Chris Pine) went from being a joy-riding, bar-fighting hothead into captain of the Enterprise. Kirk is challenged by Captain Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood) to live up to the legacy of his father and make something of his life in Starfleet. Despite his cocky attitude, the young man is able to thrive at the academy despite his arrogant behavior and his womanizing ways.
At the same time, a threat has arisen in the form of a Romulan named Nero (Eric Bana), who seeks to cause massive death and destruction in his quest for vengeance. With danger looming, Kirk and his fellow classmates are pressed into action, and thanks to some skillful work from his friend Leonard Mc Coy (Karl Urban), Kirk finds himself onboard the new Federation flagship Enterprise.
En route to their destination, Kirk realizes they are heading into a trap and warns Captain Pike of his concerns. Naturally this does not sit well with some of the seasoned officers, especially Spock (Zachary Quinto), who sees the emotional Kirk as an unwanted reminder of his human half, which he tries to hide at all costs.
Eventually the Enterprise is confronted by Nero and in an impressive sequence of events Kirk and Sulu (John Cho), lead an orbital skydive mission to thwart Nero’s plot. Spock finds himself commanding the ship and he and Kirk, two polar opposites, disagree over a course of action. Citing insurbordination and dereliction, Spock expels Kirk from the ship onto a frigid and dangerous planet. What follows is an amazing and thrilling adventure that culminates in an impressive finale, that proves that Trek has got plenty of life left in it.
While I loved the film, I found that I had to detach myself from my love of classic Trek to fully enjoy it. The film covers changes in established cannon by setting events in an alternate timeline. Despite the different eras of the previous series and films, there was always a certain continuity to the ships, planets, and characters that always seemed to fit, which I found myself missing in this new incarnation.
In Abram’s version, the Enterprise engine room is awash in catwalks, pipes, and valves that seemed out of place on a ship set in the 23rd century. I also found myself asking why such strategically valuable planets such as Earth and Vulcan would not have massive defense fleets in orbit, and would task only a handful of ships for their defense. There was a suggestion, that the ships of the fleet were amassed elsewhere on another matter of importance, but that does not explain what would leave the planets relatively unguarded. Defense codes aside, I found it hard to believe that automated defenses would be all that was left behind, and that reinforcements were not available.
I also had an issue with what Nero was supposedly doing for 25 years and how he kept such a low profile while he plotted his revenge. The final issue I had was with product placement as I found it hard to believe that Nokia and its familiar ringtone and Budweiser would be around as Trek lore is based on the planet narrowly surviving a nuclear war in the past that nearly destroyed everything. While this may seem like minor criticism, from the perspective of a long time Star Trek fan, it contradicts much of what had been established.
Thankfully, Abrams and crew take the series in a new direction without totally losing sight of where it came from. There are many nods to the series and Abrams clearly respects the original material enough to let fans know that their beloved Trek is still there in the original timeline, with its history intact. By cleverly establishing a different timeline, Abrams has creative freedom to go in any direction he desires.
The cast is strong, with Chris Pine’s Kirk as cocky and entertaining as his predecessor. I loved Anton Yelchin as Chekov and his struggles with the English language, Simon Pegg’s quick quips as Scotty, and the sassy attitude Zoe Saldana’s injects into her Uhura. The amazing visuals and designs of the film are breathtaking and it was clear that the Industrial Light & Magic (ILM) crew pushed themselves to bring everything they had to the film. In the end, Star Trek is a remarkable film that, despite some issues, has a solid new lease on life. Abrams boldly, and triumphantly, goes where fans, old and new, will gladly follow.
While many fans were thrilled with the choice of Abrams, some of the casting choices of its beloved characters were met with doubt and skepticism. Thankfully, the man behind such motion picture hits as “Cloverfield”, “Mission Impossible 3”, and television series LOST, Alias and Fringe, was more than up to the task and has crafted a visually spectacular action film that combines the best of Trek with groundbreaking effects and creative vitality.
Using a script by Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman, the new film focuses on the early days of the crew, and how young James. T. Kirk (Chris Pine) went from being a joy-riding, bar-fighting hothead into captain of the Enterprise. Kirk is challenged by Captain Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood) to live up to the legacy of his father and make something of his life in Starfleet. Despite his cocky attitude, the young man is able to thrive at the academy despite his arrogant behavior and his womanizing ways.
At the same time, a threat has arisen in the form of a Romulan named Nero (Eric Bana), who seeks to cause massive death and destruction in his quest for vengeance. With danger looming, Kirk and his fellow classmates are pressed into action, and thanks to some skillful work from his friend Leonard Mc Coy (Karl Urban), Kirk finds himself onboard the new Federation flagship Enterprise.
En route to their destination, Kirk realizes they are heading into a trap and warns Captain Pike of his concerns. Naturally this does not sit well with some of the seasoned officers, especially Spock (Zachary Quinto), who sees the emotional Kirk as an unwanted reminder of his human half, which he tries to hide at all costs.
Eventually the Enterprise is confronted by Nero and in an impressive sequence of events Kirk and Sulu (John Cho), lead an orbital skydive mission to thwart Nero’s plot. Spock finds himself commanding the ship and he and Kirk, two polar opposites, disagree over a course of action. Citing insurbordination and dereliction, Spock expels Kirk from the ship onto a frigid and dangerous planet. What follows is an amazing and thrilling adventure that culminates in an impressive finale, that proves that Trek has got plenty of life left in it.
While I loved the film, I found that I had to detach myself from my love of classic Trek to fully enjoy it. The film covers changes in established cannon by setting events in an alternate timeline. Despite the different eras of the previous series and films, there was always a certain continuity to the ships, planets, and characters that always seemed to fit, which I found myself missing in this new incarnation.
In Abram’s version, the Enterprise engine room is awash in catwalks, pipes, and valves that seemed out of place on a ship set in the 23rd century. I also found myself asking why such strategically valuable planets such as Earth and Vulcan would not have massive defense fleets in orbit, and would task only a handful of ships for their defense. There was a suggestion, that the ships of the fleet were amassed elsewhere on another matter of importance, but that does not explain what would leave the planets relatively unguarded. Defense codes aside, I found it hard to believe that automated defenses would be all that was left behind, and that reinforcements were not available.
I also had an issue with what Nero was supposedly doing for 25 years and how he kept such a low profile while he plotted his revenge. The final issue I had was with product placement as I found it hard to believe that Nokia and its familiar ringtone and Budweiser would be around as Trek lore is based on the planet narrowly surviving a nuclear war in the past that nearly destroyed everything. While this may seem like minor criticism, from the perspective of a long time Star Trek fan, it contradicts much of what had been established.
Thankfully, Abrams and crew take the series in a new direction without totally losing sight of where it came from. There are many nods to the series and Abrams clearly respects the original material enough to let fans know that their beloved Trek is still there in the original timeline, with its history intact. By cleverly establishing a different timeline, Abrams has creative freedom to go in any direction he desires.
The cast is strong, with Chris Pine’s Kirk as cocky and entertaining as his predecessor. I loved Anton Yelchin as Chekov and his struggles with the English language, Simon Pegg’s quick quips as Scotty, and the sassy attitude Zoe Saldana’s injects into her Uhura. The amazing visuals and designs of the film are breathtaking and it was clear that the Industrial Light & Magic (ILM) crew pushed themselves to bring everything they had to the film. In the end, Star Trek is a remarkable film that, despite some issues, has a solid new lease on life. Abrams boldly, and triumphantly, goes where fans, old and new, will gladly follow.
Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) in Movies
Jul 19, 2017
Some of the lighting is well implemented (1 more)
Colin Farrell
Bad CGI (2 more)
The movies 3 leads are extremely annoying
Johnny 'oooh' Depp
Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them - Or JK Rowling and the Never Ending Quest for More Money
Contains spoilers, click to show
First off, full disclosure, I have never been a fan of the Harry Potter franchise. I’ve read a few of the books and seen a few of the movies and it just isn’t my thing. Honestly, I’m not even a fan of fantasy in general, I think Lord Of The Rings is nonsense and Game Of Thrones is vastly overrated and the last Harry Potter movie I saw was the fourth one. However, I was willing to go into this movie with a clean slate and hopefully have it win me over and unfortunately it didn’t. Also this review will contain spoilers if you care about that sort of thing.
This film is a prequel to the other Harry Potter movies, this time set in America rather than Britain and telling the story of the events that led to the great wizarding war between Dumbledore and Grindlewald. The film did have potential, to see what would have essentially been WWII fought with magic could be really cool but unfortunately all we get here is setup and that actual event we want to see will probably take place 4 or 5 movies down the line. The film opens with Eddie Redmayne’s character, Newt Scamander going to New York from London to set free one of the beasts that he keeps inside his Tardis-like brief case. Then he ends up in a bank and meets a ‘Nomaj,’ which is this film’s lazy version of a ‘muggle,’ who we learn is a simple lonely guy that just wants to open his own bakery and that’s another character cliché ticked off the list. We now have the double act of the nerdy, sniveling protagonist and the overweight sympathetic sidekick. Also, for the rest of this review I will be referring to the baker character as fat bloke and this isn’t to be derogatory, but is purely because the script relies on the, ‘fat, jolly, sympathetic, pathetic loner’ stereotype and passes it off as a character arc. If the script isn’t treating the character with any respect, then why should I? So fat bloke it is then.
So the two of them of course have the exact same briefcase and after some cartoony looking CGI animals escape from Redmayne’s case in the bank the suitcases predictably get mixed up and then the fat bloke gets his bakery loan declined and returns home with Redmayne’s suitcase, then more bad CGI animals open the case and attack the fat bloke. Redmayne’s character then gets arrested by some wizarding inspector for letting the, ‘Nomaj,’ (urgh) get away after seeing the animals in the case and is taken to the New York Wizards base, I guess? Then it’s revealed that the wizarding inspector that arrested Redmayne is a bit of a shit inspector and she is trying to redeem herself in the eyes of her superiors, so in front of this high wizard council, she confiscates the case from Redmayne and opens it only to reveal a bunch of cakes inside. Yes, really… Who writes this shit? Rowling is doing to Harry Potter what Lucas did to Star Wars during the prequels at this point.
So Redmayne gets set free and he goes to fat bloke’s house to find him lying on the floor, then some more bad CGI later the inspector turns up and they take him back to her house to meet her sister? Friend? Does it matter? She ends up becoming the love interest for fat bloke. Then for no apparent reason Redmayne and fat bloke enter the case and he shows fat bloke all this crazy shit that apparently humans aren’t supposed to see and then Redmayne does some more sniveling and decides they have to sneak out of the girls’ apartment and recapture the animals that escaped in the bank and from fat bloke’s apartment. They get a couple of the beasts back then they go to central park to find Redmayne’s horny rhino and they dress fat bloke up in a leather rhino costume and use him as rape bait then they ice skate for a bit and capture the rhino. Again, really… I am not making this shit up for satirical reasons.
Then we see a real life prick Ezra Miller playing some sort of weird emo child who is beat by his mother and we see he is working with Colin Farrell to find a big bad dark spirit that is killing people around New York. Colin Farrell is definitely the best thing about the film at this point. After this a bunch of other stupid shit happens, like Ron Perlman and John Voight coming into the movie, showing a ray of potential then being totally wasted. The movie drags in the middle, but eventually after some more fat jokes, bad CGI and sniveling, all of the creatures are captured and Ezra Miller turns into a black death cloud or some such nonsense. Then he is boosting around New York, fucking up shit as he goes and so Redmayne and Farrell follow him down to the subway to stop him. Redmayne seems to be talking him down and then Farrell shows up and essentially tells him to join the dark side. Then there is a CGI wand battle and the council from earlier show up out of nowhere and kill the black cloud of death. Then Colin Farrell gets pissed off and in the best scene in the movie murders half of the council members before he gets arrested by Eddie Redmayne with some magic handcuffs.
Then the worst part in the movie takes place. It is revealed that Colin Farrell is actually Johnny Depp in disguise. I mean he is Grindlewald in disguise but the important part for me is the replacement of Colin Farrell with Johnny Depp. Now I’m not the world’s biggest Colin Farrell fan, he is great in, ‘In Bruges,’ but other than that he is pretty meh, but he was definitely the best thing that this movie had going for it and they fucking swapped him out! With fucking Johnny-‘ooh’-Depp. As if this movie wasn’t shit enough they swapped out the best thing about it for Johnny Depp, the biggest joke in Hollywood. I’m done, fuck this movie, fuck Johnny Depp, fuck JK Rowling, fuck Harry Potter, I’m out.
Okay, let’s briefly talk about the technical side of the film before I score this thing. The whole cast of this movie is phoning it in, so the acting is fine but nothing to write home about, Farrell is the best thing in this movie, but I feel that in the sequels it will just be an ‘ooh,’ off between Depp and Redmayne. The direction is okay as the movie plods along sufficiently, but the writing is wildly inconsistent and the plot as stated above is all over the place. The lighting and cinematography in one scene are fantastic, when Farrell and Miller are conversing in a dark alleyway but other than that they are pretty mundane too. The score is suitably Harry Potter like and the CGI is also to a similar standard of the Harry Potter films. The problem with that is that the CGI was ropey and of a fairly poor standard in the Harry Potter movies 10 years ago and it doesn’t seem like it has improved much since then. This movie isn’t for me, but even from an objective standpoint, based solely from a moviemaking perspective this movie is poor.
This film is a prequel to the other Harry Potter movies, this time set in America rather than Britain and telling the story of the events that led to the great wizarding war between Dumbledore and Grindlewald. The film did have potential, to see what would have essentially been WWII fought with magic could be really cool but unfortunately all we get here is setup and that actual event we want to see will probably take place 4 or 5 movies down the line. The film opens with Eddie Redmayne’s character, Newt Scamander going to New York from London to set free one of the beasts that he keeps inside his Tardis-like brief case. Then he ends up in a bank and meets a ‘Nomaj,’ which is this film’s lazy version of a ‘muggle,’ who we learn is a simple lonely guy that just wants to open his own bakery and that’s another character cliché ticked off the list. We now have the double act of the nerdy, sniveling protagonist and the overweight sympathetic sidekick. Also, for the rest of this review I will be referring to the baker character as fat bloke and this isn’t to be derogatory, but is purely because the script relies on the, ‘fat, jolly, sympathetic, pathetic loner’ stereotype and passes it off as a character arc. If the script isn’t treating the character with any respect, then why should I? So fat bloke it is then.
So the two of them of course have the exact same briefcase and after some cartoony looking CGI animals escape from Redmayne’s case in the bank the suitcases predictably get mixed up and then the fat bloke gets his bakery loan declined and returns home with Redmayne’s suitcase, then more bad CGI animals open the case and attack the fat bloke. Redmayne’s character then gets arrested by some wizarding inspector for letting the, ‘Nomaj,’ (urgh) get away after seeing the animals in the case and is taken to the New York Wizards base, I guess? Then it’s revealed that the wizarding inspector that arrested Redmayne is a bit of a shit inspector and she is trying to redeem herself in the eyes of her superiors, so in front of this high wizard council, she confiscates the case from Redmayne and opens it only to reveal a bunch of cakes inside. Yes, really… Who writes this shit? Rowling is doing to Harry Potter what Lucas did to Star Wars during the prequels at this point.
So Redmayne gets set free and he goes to fat bloke’s house to find him lying on the floor, then some more bad CGI later the inspector turns up and they take him back to her house to meet her sister? Friend? Does it matter? She ends up becoming the love interest for fat bloke. Then for no apparent reason Redmayne and fat bloke enter the case and he shows fat bloke all this crazy shit that apparently humans aren’t supposed to see and then Redmayne does some more sniveling and decides they have to sneak out of the girls’ apartment and recapture the animals that escaped in the bank and from fat bloke’s apartment. They get a couple of the beasts back then they go to central park to find Redmayne’s horny rhino and they dress fat bloke up in a leather rhino costume and use him as rape bait then they ice skate for a bit and capture the rhino. Again, really… I am not making this shit up for satirical reasons.
Then we see a real life prick Ezra Miller playing some sort of weird emo child who is beat by his mother and we see he is working with Colin Farrell to find a big bad dark spirit that is killing people around New York. Colin Farrell is definitely the best thing about the film at this point. After this a bunch of other stupid shit happens, like Ron Perlman and John Voight coming into the movie, showing a ray of potential then being totally wasted. The movie drags in the middle, but eventually after some more fat jokes, bad CGI and sniveling, all of the creatures are captured and Ezra Miller turns into a black death cloud or some such nonsense. Then he is boosting around New York, fucking up shit as he goes and so Redmayne and Farrell follow him down to the subway to stop him. Redmayne seems to be talking him down and then Farrell shows up and essentially tells him to join the dark side. Then there is a CGI wand battle and the council from earlier show up out of nowhere and kill the black cloud of death. Then Colin Farrell gets pissed off and in the best scene in the movie murders half of the council members before he gets arrested by Eddie Redmayne with some magic handcuffs.
Then the worst part in the movie takes place. It is revealed that Colin Farrell is actually Johnny Depp in disguise. I mean he is Grindlewald in disguise but the important part for me is the replacement of Colin Farrell with Johnny Depp. Now I’m not the world’s biggest Colin Farrell fan, he is great in, ‘In Bruges,’ but other than that he is pretty meh, but he was definitely the best thing that this movie had going for it and they fucking swapped him out! With fucking Johnny-‘ooh’-Depp. As if this movie wasn’t shit enough they swapped out the best thing about it for Johnny Depp, the biggest joke in Hollywood. I’m done, fuck this movie, fuck Johnny Depp, fuck JK Rowling, fuck Harry Potter, I’m out.
Okay, let’s briefly talk about the technical side of the film before I score this thing. The whole cast of this movie is phoning it in, so the acting is fine but nothing to write home about, Farrell is the best thing in this movie, but I feel that in the sequels it will just be an ‘ooh,’ off between Depp and Redmayne. The direction is okay as the movie plods along sufficiently, but the writing is wildly inconsistent and the plot as stated above is all over the place. The lighting and cinematography in one scene are fantastic, when Farrell and Miller are conversing in a dark alleyway but other than that they are pretty mundane too. The score is suitably Harry Potter like and the CGI is also to a similar standard of the Harry Potter films. The problem with that is that the CGI was ropey and of a fairly poor standard in the Harry Potter movies 10 years ago and it doesn’t seem like it has improved much since then. This movie isn’t for me, but even from an objective standpoint, based solely from a moviemaking perspective this movie is poor.
Connor Sheffield (293 KP) rated Bloodborne in Video Games
Aug 13, 2018
Incredible atmosphere (5 more)
Great variety of enemies
Beautiful art and imagery
Interesting Lore (optional)
Plenty of different ways to play
Great combat mechanics
Can be difficult (1 more)
Not as easy and some people make it look
Challenging and Satisfying
Contains spoilers, click to show
Bloodborne is part of the famous series of games such as Demon Souls and Dark Souls, which if you know those previous games, you'll know that they are infamous for their difficulty, even spawning an entire meme phrase that simply says "git gud".
Bloodborne however, stands aside from the souls series because it's combat mechanics are faster and each enemy requires the player to evolve their skills and tactics in order to progress. The first major difference in Bloodborne that might throw previous souls players off, is the fact that there is no shield. Instead the Hunter wields a right handed melee weapon and in the left hand they wild a ranged weapon in place of a shield. This ranged weapon at first is primarily used not for damage, but for parry's/counter attacks.
The lack of shield helps the player evolve their combat from hiding behind a shield like in the souls games, to being more aggressive in a fight but also tactical because during your first run through of the game, you'll simply be dealing with each enemy through trial and error until you learn their attacks and learn how to defeat them. This is something that has been in every souls game and that is why these games are so rewarding.
The reason Bloodborne is my favourite is because of this speed that makes you evolve in combat. I ran into this game thinking it was like other RPG games where I could pretty much take on any beginning level enemy and even if they packed a punch I'd take out the enemy with a thin line of health left, only to use a few health potions and repeat. But Bloodborne? Good God you can't rush this game!
Every enemy has their own attack system that varies. Some Yarnhamites are more vicious that other, and some are more defensive and cautious. There are also enemies that are deceptive. If you were to come across a large, fat troll in a fantasy world, you'd expect them to be rather slow, especially when swinging a weapon. You'd only expect the force and weight of the weapon to give speed to a swing. But the large troll creatures in Bloodborne are deceptively fast and even if you keep some distance between you, they can leap really quickly and instantly pummel you with a cinder block.
But I'm not going to reveal too much about enemies because it's easier and more fun to test out the game for yourself.
Boss fights are the main factor for the infamous difficulty of the souls series and Bloodborne is no stranger to this element either. There are Two bosses in the beginning of the game. One is optional but I would highly recommend facing it. The other boss is your first taste (if you didn't kill the optional boss first) of the challenges you'll face. Both bosses help prepare for later boss fights because of their different combat styles.
The first (optional) boss is the Cleric Beast on the bridge in the beginning level, and it is intimidating as fuck for a beginner of the souls series. If you haven't watched or played a souls game before and you go into Bloodborne (or any of them) with no knowledge of the scale of bosses, then they are intimidating in comparison to your measly character size. However once you learn this boss, and face later bosses, you'll realize that this boss is one of the easiest to face.
The next boss and the main boss of the beginning level, who is not optional as defeating him let's you progress through the story, is Father Gascoigne, another Hunter in the world of Bloodborne and the first of many you'll come across but facing this hunter is by far one of the most painstakingly challenging beginning fights to a game I've ever had to face. In my first run through I died to him so so soooo many times and sometimes it was simply cos he was on low health and I got cocky and fucked up. However defeating this boss, and any boss in this game, really feels like an achievement.
I've realised iv made this review hella long but that's because Bloodborne cannot be easily reviewed in just a few words but I'll do my best to do a quick overall conclusion as to why this is my favourite game:
The level design isn't flawless but it is incredible and the atmosphere created through sound design and soundtrack make this game incredibly in depth and really creepy which I love because even after a few play through I still get creeped out and even jump at some of the jumpscares that I forget about!
The weapons of this game are all well designed aesthetically and though I know certain ones I never use, they are all useable depending on player preference and style of play. There's so much to choose from and learn and every item in this game has a description that teaches the player more about the Lore of the world but that is of course optional and isn't required necessarily to understand the games main quest plot.
This game also requires exploration because the path the player needs to take isn't set out for them which makes the game less linear meaning that you can play this game differently every time you play it. It also might mean that you'll need to look up the paths you need to take online or in a guide in order to just get through the game and complete it. Otherwise it could take you hours, maybe days to figure out where you need to go.
The combat mechanics of Bloodborne are some of the best I've ever seen and played with and that's why it stands out to me above the other souls games.
The boss fights are intense and each new boss helps the player to adapt and evolve their combat skills and tactics in order to overcome the enemy.
The world is very heavily Lovecraftian and therefore the Lore is incredible but also optional. Also, there are easier ways to fight this games enemies including bosses, so if you're struggling, then Google it and there will be hundreds of players in the same boat as you, and in my opinion there's no wrong way to play games like this. If it remains fun and let's me complete the storyline, such as summoning AI for boss battles in offline mode. Then play however you want to because it's you playing the game, not some internet troll who says you're shit and/or cheating the game. If it's possible to do in game, it's part of the game...deal with it!
There are faults such as minor framerate glitches, and glitches with the ragdoll bodies of defeated enemies falling through the environment. There are also some elements that are part of the game such as windows for visceral attacks and hitboxes which sometimes feel like bullshit, but this also helps you evolve so....pros and cons.
My final comment is this;
The best way to learn about this game and enjoy it, is to play it for yourself. It's hard to put into words (even this amount of words in this review) just how incredible this game looks and feels. So if you have a Playstation 4 then grab yourself a copy of Bloodborne and enjoy!
Fear the Old blood!
Bloodborne however, stands aside from the souls series because it's combat mechanics are faster and each enemy requires the player to evolve their skills and tactics in order to progress. The first major difference in Bloodborne that might throw previous souls players off, is the fact that there is no shield. Instead the Hunter wields a right handed melee weapon and in the left hand they wild a ranged weapon in place of a shield. This ranged weapon at first is primarily used not for damage, but for parry's/counter attacks.
The lack of shield helps the player evolve their combat from hiding behind a shield like in the souls games, to being more aggressive in a fight but also tactical because during your first run through of the game, you'll simply be dealing with each enemy through trial and error until you learn their attacks and learn how to defeat them. This is something that has been in every souls game and that is why these games are so rewarding.
The reason Bloodborne is my favourite is because of this speed that makes you evolve in combat. I ran into this game thinking it was like other RPG games where I could pretty much take on any beginning level enemy and even if they packed a punch I'd take out the enemy with a thin line of health left, only to use a few health potions and repeat. But Bloodborne? Good God you can't rush this game!
Every enemy has their own attack system that varies. Some Yarnhamites are more vicious that other, and some are more defensive and cautious. There are also enemies that are deceptive. If you were to come across a large, fat troll in a fantasy world, you'd expect them to be rather slow, especially when swinging a weapon. You'd only expect the force and weight of the weapon to give speed to a swing. But the large troll creatures in Bloodborne are deceptively fast and even if you keep some distance between you, they can leap really quickly and instantly pummel you with a cinder block.
But I'm not going to reveal too much about enemies because it's easier and more fun to test out the game for yourself.
Boss fights are the main factor for the infamous difficulty of the souls series and Bloodborne is no stranger to this element either. There are Two bosses in the beginning of the game. One is optional but I would highly recommend facing it. The other boss is your first taste (if you didn't kill the optional boss first) of the challenges you'll face. Both bosses help prepare for later boss fights because of their different combat styles.
The first (optional) boss is the Cleric Beast on the bridge in the beginning level, and it is intimidating as fuck for a beginner of the souls series. If you haven't watched or played a souls game before and you go into Bloodborne (or any of them) with no knowledge of the scale of bosses, then they are intimidating in comparison to your measly character size. However once you learn this boss, and face later bosses, you'll realize that this boss is one of the easiest to face.
The next boss and the main boss of the beginning level, who is not optional as defeating him let's you progress through the story, is Father Gascoigne, another Hunter in the world of Bloodborne and the first of many you'll come across but facing this hunter is by far one of the most painstakingly challenging beginning fights to a game I've ever had to face. In my first run through I died to him so so soooo many times and sometimes it was simply cos he was on low health and I got cocky and fucked up. However defeating this boss, and any boss in this game, really feels like an achievement.
I've realised iv made this review hella long but that's because Bloodborne cannot be easily reviewed in just a few words but I'll do my best to do a quick overall conclusion as to why this is my favourite game:
The level design isn't flawless but it is incredible and the atmosphere created through sound design and soundtrack make this game incredibly in depth and really creepy which I love because even after a few play through I still get creeped out and even jump at some of the jumpscares that I forget about!
The weapons of this game are all well designed aesthetically and though I know certain ones I never use, they are all useable depending on player preference and style of play. There's so much to choose from and learn and every item in this game has a description that teaches the player more about the Lore of the world but that is of course optional and isn't required necessarily to understand the games main quest plot.
This game also requires exploration because the path the player needs to take isn't set out for them which makes the game less linear meaning that you can play this game differently every time you play it. It also might mean that you'll need to look up the paths you need to take online or in a guide in order to just get through the game and complete it. Otherwise it could take you hours, maybe days to figure out where you need to go.
The combat mechanics of Bloodborne are some of the best I've ever seen and played with and that's why it stands out to me above the other souls games.
The boss fights are intense and each new boss helps the player to adapt and evolve their combat skills and tactics in order to overcome the enemy.
The world is very heavily Lovecraftian and therefore the Lore is incredible but also optional. Also, there are easier ways to fight this games enemies including bosses, so if you're struggling, then Google it and there will be hundreds of players in the same boat as you, and in my opinion there's no wrong way to play games like this. If it remains fun and let's me complete the storyline, such as summoning AI for boss battles in offline mode. Then play however you want to because it's you playing the game, not some internet troll who says you're shit and/or cheating the game. If it's possible to do in game, it's part of the game...deal with it!
There are faults such as minor framerate glitches, and glitches with the ragdoll bodies of defeated enemies falling through the environment. There are also some elements that are part of the game such as windows for visceral attacks and hitboxes which sometimes feel like bullshit, but this also helps you evolve so....pros and cons.
My final comment is this;
The best way to learn about this game and enjoy it, is to play it for yourself. It's hard to put into words (even this amount of words in this review) just how incredible this game looks and feels. So if you have a Playstation 4 then grab yourself a copy of Bloodborne and enjoy!
Fear the Old blood!
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Divinus in Tabletop Games
Aug 10, 2021
Bragi. Hercules. Percy Jackson. All excellent examples of successful demigods. As you well know, demigods are offspring of a god and a mortal. Of all the things I have conjured in my lifetime to answer the old, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” question, I never really answered, “a demigod.” Well, that’s because I KNOW my parents and have a hard time believing I could be a son of a god or goddess. Unless it was some weird NPCs (novel series by Drew Hayes) universe with Grumble as my patron/parent. In any case, my new dream of becoming the greatest demigod alive must be played out in today’s preview: Divinus.
Divinus is a competitive tile placement, campaign, drafting, dice game in which players assume the roles of upcoming demigods fighting over the one last spot at the table. By appeasing the gods of the warring ancient Roman and Norse cultures players will earn their place among them. This game uses some interesting hybrid app-driven story mechanics along with legacy-style component alterations to create this world that is constantly under refurbishment and ripe for the claiming of the future Divinus.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Gamefound campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
To setup, place the main board on the table, sort out the Map tiles by player count, and populate the board per the rulebook. Each player chooses their Demigod box and takes all components contained within. As Divinus is intended to be played either as a scenario session or its Eternal Mode, which is infinitely replayable using the board and components already altered by previously-played scenarios, open the chosen Scenario Box to be played and allow the app to instruct on how to setup with these components. All players roll their dice and place them in the “ready” pile to be used on their first turn. The first player takes the token (a black meeple in the prototype version) and the game is ready to be played!
Divinus is played in turns starting with the first player and continuing around the table until one player places their final Map tile signaling the end of the game. On a turn, players will have a choice of using an Explore action or a Rest action. More actions may be available in future scenarios, but for the prototype scenarios, these are the two available choices. During an Explore action, the active player will choose any number of their rolled dice in order to create a mathematical equation that matches with one of the Map tiles on the main board. These spaces range from 1-12 in value, so an appropriate dice combination could be 5 + 4 – 1 = 8 in order to claim the Map tile on the 8 spot. Any number of dice can be used to claim tiles, and once a tile is claimed, it must be placed within the player’s personal play area map. In order to add these tiles, the edges will need to match up by terrain type with tiles already presently in play (see below), or may also be placed atop an existing tile. Map tiles may or may not contain symbols for factions, locations, and also Sacred Places. These will all be used in scenarios for different purposes.
Once a player decides they do not wish to (or cannot) take more Explore actions, they must Rest. To Rest, the active player reclaims all spent (and unspent ready) dice and rerolls them for the next turn, replacing empty spaces on the board with new Map tiles.
Play continues in this fashion of Exploring and Resting until one player places their 16th tile, thus completing their 4×4 personal map. Players will consult the app for scoring instructions and the winner will be announced. Should the players wish to play another scenario (or many, as we would have liked), they simply use the same Demigods and open a new Scenario Box. Inside these boxes are different gods to appease, new quests to fulfill (more on these later), and stickers to be applied to game components to improve their usefulness.
Components. Again, this is a prototype version of the game, and it includes two introductory scenarios, a bunch of sticker sheets, and a developmental app. That said, I really enjoyed my plays of the scenarios and they felt like great first steps to lure me into what I just know is going to be somewhat of a lifestyle game (assuming more and more expansions are in the plans). The sticker sheets are all fine, and as I understand it, the stickers that are placed on the Map tiles will have non-removable glue, but the stickers placed on the dice faces will have removable glue. As I am not a glue expert, I can’t really vouch for either. The app is somewhat similar to those that are used in the Chronicles of Crime series, but Divinus promises to deliver an app that can scan the components WITHOUT the use of QR codes. For those gamers who think the QRs are an eye-sore, then Divinus is taking a promising first step for you! I haven’t even touched on the artwork yet, and that’s usually my favorite aspect of a game’s components. The visual style and art on Divinus really make the game pop on the table, and just draw you into the lore and setting. I love it!
So while initially Divinus is a simple roll-and-draft game of building a 4×4 grid akin to Kingdomino, the addition and usage of the Quests and, later, the Charge Actions, morph this into something quite a bit meatier. Each Scenario Box (at least in this version) contains two god cards (that affect how the end of the scenario is scored) and some Quest cards (that are side-quests players can follow to earn some extra VP and other goodies). I imagine as the game progresses through Scenario Boxes that Quests will get more difficult and the god cards more interesting as well.
All in all Divinus has roped me in, and I am very much looking forward to all the other great things that Lucky Duck Games has planned for it. I can foresee soooooo many expansions being built on this excellent chassis, and I am very eager to finish the entire legacy aspect in order to play through the Eternal Mode a bunch of times. Can I divulge a little dirty secret of mine here? I have never before played any type of legacy board game, and if this is what they are like, then I will be breaking out my copy of Betrayal Legacy way sooner than I originally planned.
I believe that the theming here is great, the gameplay is relatively simple to grasp, and the hybrid app-driven story really adds to the entire experience. If you are someone who, like me, has yet to delve into legacy-style games where the components are constantly changing due to choices made at the table, and you have a penchant for dice games with a splash of ACTUAL math skills used, I urge you to take a look at backing Divinus on Gamefound ASAP. With just the initial two scenarios included, I am already addicted to the game and cannot wait to sink my teeth into more scenarios and more crucial decisions that will alter the landscape of my copy of the game. I know that as of the publish date of this preview, the campaign is already about 1000% funded and so many stretch goals have already been unlocked. It is a great time to hop on board and grab a big ol’ chunk of goodies for this one. You may have a preference for Roman or Norse mythology before playing, but be warned: your loyalties may change as a result of playing Divinus… or maybe you will learn to accept both at the harmonious center of activity in your own little section of the world.
Divinus is a competitive tile placement, campaign, drafting, dice game in which players assume the roles of upcoming demigods fighting over the one last spot at the table. By appeasing the gods of the warring ancient Roman and Norse cultures players will earn their place among them. This game uses some interesting hybrid app-driven story mechanics along with legacy-style component alterations to create this world that is constantly under refurbishment and ripe for the claiming of the future Divinus.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Gamefound campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
To setup, place the main board on the table, sort out the Map tiles by player count, and populate the board per the rulebook. Each player chooses their Demigod box and takes all components contained within. As Divinus is intended to be played either as a scenario session or its Eternal Mode, which is infinitely replayable using the board and components already altered by previously-played scenarios, open the chosen Scenario Box to be played and allow the app to instruct on how to setup with these components. All players roll their dice and place them in the “ready” pile to be used on their first turn. The first player takes the token (a black meeple in the prototype version) and the game is ready to be played!
Divinus is played in turns starting with the first player and continuing around the table until one player places their final Map tile signaling the end of the game. On a turn, players will have a choice of using an Explore action or a Rest action. More actions may be available in future scenarios, but for the prototype scenarios, these are the two available choices. During an Explore action, the active player will choose any number of their rolled dice in order to create a mathematical equation that matches with one of the Map tiles on the main board. These spaces range from 1-12 in value, so an appropriate dice combination could be 5 + 4 – 1 = 8 in order to claim the Map tile on the 8 spot. Any number of dice can be used to claim tiles, and once a tile is claimed, it must be placed within the player’s personal play area map. In order to add these tiles, the edges will need to match up by terrain type with tiles already presently in play (see below), or may also be placed atop an existing tile. Map tiles may or may not contain symbols for factions, locations, and also Sacred Places. These will all be used in scenarios for different purposes.
Once a player decides they do not wish to (or cannot) take more Explore actions, they must Rest. To Rest, the active player reclaims all spent (and unspent ready) dice and rerolls them for the next turn, replacing empty spaces on the board with new Map tiles.
Play continues in this fashion of Exploring and Resting until one player places their 16th tile, thus completing their 4×4 personal map. Players will consult the app for scoring instructions and the winner will be announced. Should the players wish to play another scenario (or many, as we would have liked), they simply use the same Demigods and open a new Scenario Box. Inside these boxes are different gods to appease, new quests to fulfill (more on these later), and stickers to be applied to game components to improve their usefulness.
Components. Again, this is a prototype version of the game, and it includes two introductory scenarios, a bunch of sticker sheets, and a developmental app. That said, I really enjoyed my plays of the scenarios and they felt like great first steps to lure me into what I just know is going to be somewhat of a lifestyle game (assuming more and more expansions are in the plans). The sticker sheets are all fine, and as I understand it, the stickers that are placed on the Map tiles will have non-removable glue, but the stickers placed on the dice faces will have removable glue. As I am not a glue expert, I can’t really vouch for either. The app is somewhat similar to those that are used in the Chronicles of Crime series, but Divinus promises to deliver an app that can scan the components WITHOUT the use of QR codes. For those gamers who think the QRs are an eye-sore, then Divinus is taking a promising first step for you! I haven’t even touched on the artwork yet, and that’s usually my favorite aspect of a game’s components. The visual style and art on Divinus really make the game pop on the table, and just draw you into the lore and setting. I love it!
So while initially Divinus is a simple roll-and-draft game of building a 4×4 grid akin to Kingdomino, the addition and usage of the Quests and, later, the Charge Actions, morph this into something quite a bit meatier. Each Scenario Box (at least in this version) contains two god cards (that affect how the end of the scenario is scored) and some Quest cards (that are side-quests players can follow to earn some extra VP and other goodies). I imagine as the game progresses through Scenario Boxes that Quests will get more difficult and the god cards more interesting as well.
All in all Divinus has roped me in, and I am very much looking forward to all the other great things that Lucky Duck Games has planned for it. I can foresee soooooo many expansions being built on this excellent chassis, and I am very eager to finish the entire legacy aspect in order to play through the Eternal Mode a bunch of times. Can I divulge a little dirty secret of mine here? I have never before played any type of legacy board game, and if this is what they are like, then I will be breaking out my copy of Betrayal Legacy way sooner than I originally planned.
I believe that the theming here is great, the gameplay is relatively simple to grasp, and the hybrid app-driven story really adds to the entire experience. If you are someone who, like me, has yet to delve into legacy-style games where the components are constantly changing due to choices made at the table, and you have a penchant for dice games with a splash of ACTUAL math skills used, I urge you to take a look at backing Divinus on Gamefound ASAP. With just the initial two scenarios included, I am already addicted to the game and cannot wait to sink my teeth into more scenarios and more crucial decisions that will alter the landscape of my copy of the game. I know that as of the publish date of this preview, the campaign is already about 1000% funded and so many stretch goals have already been unlocked. It is a great time to hop on board and grab a big ol’ chunk of goodies for this one. You may have a preference for Roman or Norse mythology before playing, but be warned: your loyalties may change as a result of playing Divinus… or maybe you will learn to accept both at the harmonious center of activity in your own little section of the world.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated The Bloody Inn in Tabletop Games
Feb 12, 2022
It’s cliche to post a game review like this so near to Halloween, so I will probably hold off on that. However, what a perfect game to go along with the macabre tone of the Halloween season! Get this: you and your family own a motel in a small town where many travelers stop to rest. You are strapped for cash, so what is a logical step in achieving wealth? Of course! Murdering and robbing your customers upon their stays! No? Not a typical business model? Unsustainable? Pfft. You just aren’t robbing the right customers…
The Bloody Inn is a card-drafting, hand management, horror game of recruiting accomplices and having them carry out dastardly deeds to secure the most money at the end of the game. In it, players take on the roles of one of the inn’s staff members and control pawns in their evil schemes in order to swindle and kill for mountains of francs (it’s set in France, pre-Euro).
To setup, place the main board on the table, give each player the components of their color choice, two Peasant cards, a 10 franc (f) check, and a player aid card. The “traveler deck” is assembled and shuffled per the rules, and placed on the Entrance side of the board. Players choose one room to place a key token in their color, and several gray neutral key tokens are placed in other rooms. Unsuspecting travelers will be staying in these rooms each night. Per the rules, the greediest player is given the first player card and the mischief may begin!
The Bloody Inn is played over several rounds, and each round has players completing three phases: Welcome Travelers, Player Actions, and End of Round. Players will Welcome Travelers to signify the start of the round by the first player drawing one card from the deck at a time and choosing in which room they will be placed.
After Travelers have been welcomed and turn in for the evening, the second phase may begin: Player Actions. In turn order players will be able to perform two actions each round. Players may choose from five different actions, and actions can be repeated for the second action of the round. Players may Bribe a Guest by discarding cards from hand equal to the printed value on the target card’s front. Initially all players simply employ the two starter Peasants, so Bribing is only performed on cards that show a value of 0-2. When a player Bribes a guest, they essentially spend cards from hand to recruit the new guest to their employ. These new employees (accomplices) are then available to be used on future actions. One or two Peasants may also be Bribed from the bistro, adding to a player’s hand of usable human resources.
A player may instead choose to Kill a Guest by similarly discarding the appropriate number of accomplices and adding the freshly-slain guest to their tableau, face-down. The card backs feature a coffin with their “rank” (action number) printed on it. Corpses normally cause no issues, but they will need to be buried under an Annex in order to collect the money in their pockets. Players may use an action to Build an Annex by discarding the appropriate number of accomplices and using a card from hand to build and staff the Annex. Annexes can be used for the action printed on the card bottom, and/or as a housing for corpses, with the Corpses being sent to any player’s Annex via the Bury a Corpse action. Discard the requisite number of accomplices to bury a corpse, and avoid suspicion from the Law.
If none of these actions are attractive to the player, or if they simply wish, they may instead Pass and launder money from the village notary. To do this, either reduce the number of francs from the Wealth Track on the main board in order to gain a 10f check, or turn in a check for 10f on the Wealth Track.
Once all players have taken their two actions, the End of Round is performed. Firstly, if any Travelers remain belonging to the Police type (signified by pistol icons on the top of the card), they will conduct an investigation, finding any unburied corpses. Should a corpse be found in this way, the owning player will need to pay 10f for the local undertaker to dispose of the body respectfully. This not only costs the player 10f, but also the amount of money that could have been gained if they had only buried them or dealt with the Police traveler prior. Next, the Travelers who remain all wake up feeling refreshed and leave the inn by being placed in the discard pile. Once the board has been cleared of all Travelers, accomplices must be paid their wages for their help. For each accomplice in hand, the players must pay 1f from the Wealth Track.
Play continues in this fashion until the main Traveler deck has been depleted twice. Then, players add up their francs and the player with the most in francs and checks is the winner, and just the greatest little murderer/robber/briber in all the land!
Components. This game really has a modest amount of components, but they are all similarly great quality. The main board acts as the inn’s room display, the Wealth Track, AND the bistro (where Peasants are discarded, as opposed to being placed in the normal discard pile). I love when components pull double or triple duty. That said, the player aids not only remind the players of the phases and actions from which they may choose, but it also provides the player with a starter Annex that can be used to bury their first corpse! HOW COOL IS THAT?! However, the greatest thing that stands out in regards to the components is the overall look and feel of the game. The character artist for this one is Weberson Santiago, and he has also illustrated games such as the new Quest (the new version of The Resistance: Avalon), Coup, and the new Whirling Witchcraft. I adore his art style, even though I shouldn’t. My typical preference of character art is semi-realism (like that of Kwanchai Moriya), but this style is really unique and perfectly applied to the theme. Great matchup of artist and game here. I do have one silly wish for this game: PLEASE change the player colors. I mean, I am so tired of having the choice between red, blue, green, and yellow. Take a Cue from my good friend Scott Brady and use one of the more interesting color choices. I mean, even to fit in with the theme here a more appropriate palette could include a brown, black, orange, and yellow or something. Be bold!!
I knew right away that this was a great game for me. Yes, the theme is super dark and macabre, which is rare for me to enjoy, but I would only play this with adults anyway so I am unbothered by it. However, the puzzle that lies within this box is one that I thoroughly enjoy solving every round. What I neglected to mention up top is the fact that when actions are taken (Bribing, Killing, Building Annexes, and Burying Corpses) if you happen to have certain card types in hand, then the cost of discards is reduced by the number of cards present. For example, if I were to Bribe a Police card from the rooms in my first action, they have an affinity for killing (messed up, I know) and will thus help me to perform a Kill action on the next turn by reducing the number of accomplices I would need to discard for that action. Side benefit: by taking the Police Travelers off the board, they then will not perform their investigations in the morning.
Another aspect I truly enjoy about The Bloody Inn is that many cards have that dual-purpose mechanic I appreciate. The player aid is also an Annex. Brilliant! Many of the Annex cards can also offer one-time or recurring powers. It’s just so satisfying to grab cards that can combo well with each other in order to fulfill your evil plans. Every card is important, and when they can offer more than one benefit, I am a happy gamer.
I cannot express how happy I am to have decided to purchase this one. I have seen the BGG ratings and rankings, but always thought I wouldn’t like it due to its very adult theme, but boy was I wrong! This is one of the best games I have played recently and I hope to even bling it out a bit, maybe even with new player colors like I suggested earlier. Laura and my wife were able to join me for this one and they agree with me – this one is excellent and definitely worth consideration into anyone’s collection. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a dastardly 15 / 18. Yeah, it’s perfect for Halloweentime, but also for ANY time. If you are looking for something a little grim and grisly with lighter rules and lots of interesting choices, you need to check out The Bloody Inn. Grab lots of Police cards and go on a killing spree for me!
The Bloody Inn is a card-drafting, hand management, horror game of recruiting accomplices and having them carry out dastardly deeds to secure the most money at the end of the game. In it, players take on the roles of one of the inn’s staff members and control pawns in their evil schemes in order to swindle and kill for mountains of francs (it’s set in France, pre-Euro).
To setup, place the main board on the table, give each player the components of their color choice, two Peasant cards, a 10 franc (f) check, and a player aid card. The “traveler deck” is assembled and shuffled per the rules, and placed on the Entrance side of the board. Players choose one room to place a key token in their color, and several gray neutral key tokens are placed in other rooms. Unsuspecting travelers will be staying in these rooms each night. Per the rules, the greediest player is given the first player card and the mischief may begin!
The Bloody Inn is played over several rounds, and each round has players completing three phases: Welcome Travelers, Player Actions, and End of Round. Players will Welcome Travelers to signify the start of the round by the first player drawing one card from the deck at a time and choosing in which room they will be placed.
After Travelers have been welcomed and turn in for the evening, the second phase may begin: Player Actions. In turn order players will be able to perform two actions each round. Players may choose from five different actions, and actions can be repeated for the second action of the round. Players may Bribe a Guest by discarding cards from hand equal to the printed value on the target card’s front. Initially all players simply employ the two starter Peasants, so Bribing is only performed on cards that show a value of 0-2. When a player Bribes a guest, they essentially spend cards from hand to recruit the new guest to their employ. These new employees (accomplices) are then available to be used on future actions. One or two Peasants may also be Bribed from the bistro, adding to a player’s hand of usable human resources.
A player may instead choose to Kill a Guest by similarly discarding the appropriate number of accomplices and adding the freshly-slain guest to their tableau, face-down. The card backs feature a coffin with their “rank” (action number) printed on it. Corpses normally cause no issues, but they will need to be buried under an Annex in order to collect the money in their pockets. Players may use an action to Build an Annex by discarding the appropriate number of accomplices and using a card from hand to build and staff the Annex. Annexes can be used for the action printed on the card bottom, and/or as a housing for corpses, with the Corpses being sent to any player’s Annex via the Bury a Corpse action. Discard the requisite number of accomplices to bury a corpse, and avoid suspicion from the Law.
If none of these actions are attractive to the player, or if they simply wish, they may instead Pass and launder money from the village notary. To do this, either reduce the number of francs from the Wealth Track on the main board in order to gain a 10f check, or turn in a check for 10f on the Wealth Track.
Once all players have taken their two actions, the End of Round is performed. Firstly, if any Travelers remain belonging to the Police type (signified by pistol icons on the top of the card), they will conduct an investigation, finding any unburied corpses. Should a corpse be found in this way, the owning player will need to pay 10f for the local undertaker to dispose of the body respectfully. This not only costs the player 10f, but also the amount of money that could have been gained if they had only buried them or dealt with the Police traveler prior. Next, the Travelers who remain all wake up feeling refreshed and leave the inn by being placed in the discard pile. Once the board has been cleared of all Travelers, accomplices must be paid their wages for their help. For each accomplice in hand, the players must pay 1f from the Wealth Track.
Play continues in this fashion until the main Traveler deck has been depleted twice. Then, players add up their francs and the player with the most in francs and checks is the winner, and just the greatest little murderer/robber/briber in all the land!
Components. This game really has a modest amount of components, but they are all similarly great quality. The main board acts as the inn’s room display, the Wealth Track, AND the bistro (where Peasants are discarded, as opposed to being placed in the normal discard pile). I love when components pull double or triple duty. That said, the player aids not only remind the players of the phases and actions from which they may choose, but it also provides the player with a starter Annex that can be used to bury their first corpse! HOW COOL IS THAT?! However, the greatest thing that stands out in regards to the components is the overall look and feel of the game. The character artist for this one is Weberson Santiago, and he has also illustrated games such as the new Quest (the new version of The Resistance: Avalon), Coup, and the new Whirling Witchcraft. I adore his art style, even though I shouldn’t. My typical preference of character art is semi-realism (like that of Kwanchai Moriya), but this style is really unique and perfectly applied to the theme. Great matchup of artist and game here. I do have one silly wish for this game: PLEASE change the player colors. I mean, I am so tired of having the choice between red, blue, green, and yellow. Take a Cue from my good friend Scott Brady and use one of the more interesting color choices. I mean, even to fit in with the theme here a more appropriate palette could include a brown, black, orange, and yellow or something. Be bold!!
I knew right away that this was a great game for me. Yes, the theme is super dark and macabre, which is rare for me to enjoy, but I would only play this with adults anyway so I am unbothered by it. However, the puzzle that lies within this box is one that I thoroughly enjoy solving every round. What I neglected to mention up top is the fact that when actions are taken (Bribing, Killing, Building Annexes, and Burying Corpses) if you happen to have certain card types in hand, then the cost of discards is reduced by the number of cards present. For example, if I were to Bribe a Police card from the rooms in my first action, they have an affinity for killing (messed up, I know) and will thus help me to perform a Kill action on the next turn by reducing the number of accomplices I would need to discard for that action. Side benefit: by taking the Police Travelers off the board, they then will not perform their investigations in the morning.
Another aspect I truly enjoy about The Bloody Inn is that many cards have that dual-purpose mechanic I appreciate. The player aid is also an Annex. Brilliant! Many of the Annex cards can also offer one-time or recurring powers. It’s just so satisfying to grab cards that can combo well with each other in order to fulfill your evil plans. Every card is important, and when they can offer more than one benefit, I am a happy gamer.
I cannot express how happy I am to have decided to purchase this one. I have seen the BGG ratings and rankings, but always thought I wouldn’t like it due to its very adult theme, but boy was I wrong! This is one of the best games I have played recently and I hope to even bling it out a bit, maybe even with new player colors like I suggested earlier. Laura and my wife were able to join me for this one and they agree with me – this one is excellent and definitely worth consideration into anyone’s collection. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a dastardly 15 / 18. Yeah, it’s perfect for Halloweentime, but also for ANY time. If you are looking for something a little grim and grisly with lighter rules and lots of interesting choices, you need to check out The Bloody Inn. Grab lots of Police cards and go on a killing spree for me!
Versusyours (757 KP) rated Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019) in Movies
Dec 30, 2019 (Updated Dec 30, 2019)
Another film ruined by Endgame's splendour
Contains spoilers, click to show
The Rise of Skywalker
Some endings are welcomed whilst others are heart-breaking and sudden, then there is this movie that closes a curtain that’s older than my very bones. In the time from 1977 there has been highs, lows and Jar Jar Binks a plenty and lots and lots of toys, lunchboxes and soap sets in all shapes of droids. The film itself opens and quickly reintroduces all the main characters and sets up the plot lines for each person and they embark on a path that is destined for them all to meet later. Kylo Ren is on a solo Gooniesesque mission to retrieve something darker than One Eyed Willies rich stuff with the aid of a Toblerone shaped virtual map. Helmetless and emotionless he encounters the Emperor you in fact is not dead but just chilling out with many engineers, Sith corpses and a big evil throne that he may use to do dark side Sudoku. Kylo Ren must kill Rey and then he and Palpatine might both crack a smile and take turns on the evil throne as all powerful rulers.
Is it a bird? Is it plane? Well its half bird in name alone it’s the Millennium Falcon doing what it does best and being chased and escaping for the numerous time but this time they are light speed jumping even though they are told not to, naughty naughty. Po and Finn get some gossip and head to the planet the Rebels are all hiding on to share their news. Enter the heroine its Rey in a new outfit and floating up high but failing to entice the Jedi spirits to appear but why would they this early on in a film. The hero’s all use the gossip from the Empire spy and Rey, Finn, Poe, Chewbacca, BB-8, and C-3PO depart in the Millennium Falcon. Space trip!!!
They head for a Space desert that is like Mardi Gras with sand, it’s so lucky that these sandy terrains are common in space like they are common on Earth as Star Wars loves these arid landscapes. They get into a scrape as they always seem to do but with Stormtroopers being inept and despite being airborne, they now fail on both land and air to do anything other than being a source for explosions. C3-PO finally gets the chance to be of actual use but in his golden and splendid way he is unable to translate a Sith message orally and it remains unheard and unseen in his memory banks. Kylo Ren mentally Skype calls Rey and she forgets to turn off her location settings and he turns up. In the ensuing melee Rey turns up the bad ass levels and destroys an Empire ship containing the Wookie we all fell in love with Chewbacca. In a big fiery furball of fire he is gone, Rey is beside herself with regret and they all escape on board Not the Millennium Falcon. Another planet another mission to add to the collection sees the group hoping to find a brain surgeon to extract the Sith message from C3-PO. On planet Jim Henson we see a large collection of weird and wonderful puppets and cosplay experts. The downside of the brain surgery is it will format C3-PO to the factory settings so he can learn to be annoying to everyone all over again. A little shaved Mogwai turns out to be the master surgeon and he completes the job easily enough and they retrieve the message, but the worst fears are realised as C3-PO remembers no one.
From the furry flames Chewbacca, we find out is not dead but merely being pampered in the Empires many hair and nail bars. Sensing this fashion disaster waiting to happen Rey organises a rescue mission and they break into the Star Destroyer with relative ease until Poe, Finn are caught and assigned to death. Rey is on her own mission and breaks into Kylo Ren’s bachelor pad and has a look around and gets the Sith dagger and another Skype call from Kylo Ren is taken where he tells her some missing parts of her childhood and about her true lineage as a pesky Palpatine. The age-old Star Wars family is not who you think it is trope is wheeled out once more. Learning from her previous failures of her location services she refuses to tell Kylo but when the melted helmet of the original absent father Darth Vader falls at Kylo’s feet he knows she is in his room. Enraged in case he left any interspace porn lying around his room he quickly makes a run for his awesome ship.
With certain execution facing Poe, Finn and the now unlucky Chewie and the blasters set to wipe them out General Hux turns Rouge One and saves the heroes at the last second. With his turncoat and spy status ensured he shows his true childish colours and he wants Kylo Ren to lose because he has longer and hair on the darker side of black (maybe). Before allowing them to escape he asked for a blaster wound to give his story of them overpowering the guards some weight, surely a fool proof plan with your boss being able to mind read. He takes a blaster to the knee before hobbling to explain himself before being shot as the traitorous Rebel scum he is. If only he had lived long enough, he may have seen his wish come true. They well-travelled hero’s travel to space Astoria for another Goonies part of the quest where they see the remnants of the second Death Star and use the dagger doubloon to perfectly line up where the way finder is located. A big source of luck as the waves that engulf the planet and are crashing all around the wreck of the Deathstar have avoided any damage over the years. It’s deemed impossible to traverse the giant waves until morning but when Rey sees her opportunity she sails over the waves with relative ease while the rest of the heroes are chatting to a local about zero hour Strom trooper contracts and a lack of a good sickness benefit policy. As Rey makes it to the wreckage, she is met with Kylo Ren and they have a lightsaber battle after he smashes the way finder and asks her to join him in getting rid of Papa Palpatine and being the Sith power couple. Kylo seems to be building up the anger in Rey and trying to temp her to give in to her rage. Some great action shots and some force leaps make this a memorable fight scene until Leia ‘force times’ Kylo distracting him enough for Rey to become the victor. This is the last stand for Leia as she gives up the ghost and therefore becomes one of those ghost Jedi figures. With a sudden change of heart and with the wound barely open Rey uses her force healing abilities to fill Kylo’s hole right up before stealing his ship and leaving him stranded on Goonieland. With all this free time Kylo throws away his lightsaber and becomes Ben Solo once more and squeezes in a catch up with his old dad Han in dreamworld or memoryland.
Rey is now on a mission to destroy the Sith and the Emperor on the hidden planet now she has the map but only after setting Kylo’s sweet spaceship on fire and then realising her error. This impulsive nature may be leading to the dark side!! She heads to Exegol the Sith planet just as Palpatine is setting his sights on getting on with ending the Rebellion once and for all. If a job is worth doing its worth doing it yourself and orders the destruction of planet by a weapon that’s on each Star Destroyer. When Rey catches up with the Emperor, he is happy to see her and he invites her to strike him down, probably to become more powerful than we can imagine. Rey leaves a trail of cosmic breadcrumbs and she is followed by the resistance and they have a plan to take on the Final Order by destroying a central communication tower, so again a rather simple way to stop some heavy duty weaponry; the old classics are the best!!! It becomes a bit Star Wars of the Rings with space horses appearing and galloping to the rescue, not since the ill-fated days of the Phantom Menace has wildlife shocked me in such a manner. Back to the will she, won’t she, Rey and the Emperor are still wanting different things and Palpatine has invited the ghosts of Sith past to witness his greatest triumph. Rey has a choice of lightsaber’s due to Leia giving her an extra, maybe there was a reason for this!! Oh, wait Ben Solo has arrived lightsaberless what a stroke of luck!! Palpatine has had enough and he decides to drain both the Jedi’s of their life force and levels ups and gets back to rage mode and gets his lightning on. He dispatches Ben and then takes out the full resistance fleet with an impressive lightning show. Rey in her weakened state finally perfects the connection with the Jedi spirits that she failed at early in the film. Armed with the x-factor of crossed lightsabers she pushes the Emperor back and turns his own electricity and his face is melted off Raiders of the Lost Ark style. Ben then comes back into the mix and repays the force healing from earlier and gives Rey the gift of life followed by a kiss. This is a kiss of death literally and he fades away into nothingness. In scenes not seen since the Avengers help arrives when all hope is gone, and the fight is won by the good guys again.
I felt that this film was too fast paced and had too many storylines that were quickly explored and this was at a detriment to what could have been. Maybe on repeat viewing there will be the chance to slow down and explore the potential of the film. Some scenes were for the older generation and some were for the newbies to the galaxy far, far away and this again was at a cost to the whole experience. This all being said the watch was enjoyable and had its genuine emotional moments and humour was used to break the tension at times with C3-PO having a few choice lines for once.
Some endings are welcomed whilst others are heart-breaking and sudden, then there is this movie that closes a curtain that’s older than my very bones. In the time from 1977 there has been highs, lows and Jar Jar Binks a plenty and lots and lots of toys, lunchboxes and soap sets in all shapes of droids. The film itself opens and quickly reintroduces all the main characters and sets up the plot lines for each person and they embark on a path that is destined for them all to meet later. Kylo Ren is on a solo Gooniesesque mission to retrieve something darker than One Eyed Willies rich stuff with the aid of a Toblerone shaped virtual map. Helmetless and emotionless he encounters the Emperor you in fact is not dead but just chilling out with many engineers, Sith corpses and a big evil throne that he may use to do dark side Sudoku. Kylo Ren must kill Rey and then he and Palpatine might both crack a smile and take turns on the evil throne as all powerful rulers.
Is it a bird? Is it plane? Well its half bird in name alone it’s the Millennium Falcon doing what it does best and being chased and escaping for the numerous time but this time they are light speed jumping even though they are told not to, naughty naughty. Po and Finn get some gossip and head to the planet the Rebels are all hiding on to share their news. Enter the heroine its Rey in a new outfit and floating up high but failing to entice the Jedi spirits to appear but why would they this early on in a film. The hero’s all use the gossip from the Empire spy and Rey, Finn, Poe, Chewbacca, BB-8, and C-3PO depart in the Millennium Falcon. Space trip!!!
They head for a Space desert that is like Mardi Gras with sand, it’s so lucky that these sandy terrains are common in space like they are common on Earth as Star Wars loves these arid landscapes. They get into a scrape as they always seem to do but with Stormtroopers being inept and despite being airborne, they now fail on both land and air to do anything other than being a source for explosions. C3-PO finally gets the chance to be of actual use but in his golden and splendid way he is unable to translate a Sith message orally and it remains unheard and unseen in his memory banks. Kylo Ren mentally Skype calls Rey and she forgets to turn off her location settings and he turns up. In the ensuing melee Rey turns up the bad ass levels and destroys an Empire ship containing the Wookie we all fell in love with Chewbacca. In a big fiery furball of fire he is gone, Rey is beside herself with regret and they all escape on board Not the Millennium Falcon. Another planet another mission to add to the collection sees the group hoping to find a brain surgeon to extract the Sith message from C3-PO. On planet Jim Henson we see a large collection of weird and wonderful puppets and cosplay experts. The downside of the brain surgery is it will format C3-PO to the factory settings so he can learn to be annoying to everyone all over again. A little shaved Mogwai turns out to be the master surgeon and he completes the job easily enough and they retrieve the message, but the worst fears are realised as C3-PO remembers no one.
From the furry flames Chewbacca, we find out is not dead but merely being pampered in the Empires many hair and nail bars. Sensing this fashion disaster waiting to happen Rey organises a rescue mission and they break into the Star Destroyer with relative ease until Poe, Finn are caught and assigned to death. Rey is on her own mission and breaks into Kylo Ren’s bachelor pad and has a look around and gets the Sith dagger and another Skype call from Kylo Ren is taken where he tells her some missing parts of her childhood and about her true lineage as a pesky Palpatine. The age-old Star Wars family is not who you think it is trope is wheeled out once more. Learning from her previous failures of her location services she refuses to tell Kylo but when the melted helmet of the original absent father Darth Vader falls at Kylo’s feet he knows she is in his room. Enraged in case he left any interspace porn lying around his room he quickly makes a run for his awesome ship.
With certain execution facing Poe, Finn and the now unlucky Chewie and the blasters set to wipe them out General Hux turns Rouge One and saves the heroes at the last second. With his turncoat and spy status ensured he shows his true childish colours and he wants Kylo Ren to lose because he has longer and hair on the darker side of black (maybe). Before allowing them to escape he asked for a blaster wound to give his story of them overpowering the guards some weight, surely a fool proof plan with your boss being able to mind read. He takes a blaster to the knee before hobbling to explain himself before being shot as the traitorous Rebel scum he is. If only he had lived long enough, he may have seen his wish come true. They well-travelled hero’s travel to space Astoria for another Goonies part of the quest where they see the remnants of the second Death Star and use the dagger doubloon to perfectly line up where the way finder is located. A big source of luck as the waves that engulf the planet and are crashing all around the wreck of the Deathstar have avoided any damage over the years. It’s deemed impossible to traverse the giant waves until morning but when Rey sees her opportunity she sails over the waves with relative ease while the rest of the heroes are chatting to a local about zero hour Strom trooper contracts and a lack of a good sickness benefit policy. As Rey makes it to the wreckage, she is met with Kylo Ren and they have a lightsaber battle after he smashes the way finder and asks her to join him in getting rid of Papa Palpatine and being the Sith power couple. Kylo seems to be building up the anger in Rey and trying to temp her to give in to her rage. Some great action shots and some force leaps make this a memorable fight scene until Leia ‘force times’ Kylo distracting him enough for Rey to become the victor. This is the last stand for Leia as she gives up the ghost and therefore becomes one of those ghost Jedi figures. With a sudden change of heart and with the wound barely open Rey uses her force healing abilities to fill Kylo’s hole right up before stealing his ship and leaving him stranded on Goonieland. With all this free time Kylo throws away his lightsaber and becomes Ben Solo once more and squeezes in a catch up with his old dad Han in dreamworld or memoryland.
Rey is now on a mission to destroy the Sith and the Emperor on the hidden planet now she has the map but only after setting Kylo’s sweet spaceship on fire and then realising her error. This impulsive nature may be leading to the dark side!! She heads to Exegol the Sith planet just as Palpatine is setting his sights on getting on with ending the Rebellion once and for all. If a job is worth doing its worth doing it yourself and orders the destruction of planet by a weapon that’s on each Star Destroyer. When Rey catches up with the Emperor, he is happy to see her and he invites her to strike him down, probably to become more powerful than we can imagine. Rey leaves a trail of cosmic breadcrumbs and she is followed by the resistance and they have a plan to take on the Final Order by destroying a central communication tower, so again a rather simple way to stop some heavy duty weaponry; the old classics are the best!!! It becomes a bit Star Wars of the Rings with space horses appearing and galloping to the rescue, not since the ill-fated days of the Phantom Menace has wildlife shocked me in such a manner. Back to the will she, won’t she, Rey and the Emperor are still wanting different things and Palpatine has invited the ghosts of Sith past to witness his greatest triumph. Rey has a choice of lightsaber’s due to Leia giving her an extra, maybe there was a reason for this!! Oh, wait Ben Solo has arrived lightsaberless what a stroke of luck!! Palpatine has had enough and he decides to drain both the Jedi’s of their life force and levels ups and gets back to rage mode and gets his lightning on. He dispatches Ben and then takes out the full resistance fleet with an impressive lightning show. Rey in her weakened state finally perfects the connection with the Jedi spirits that she failed at early in the film. Armed with the x-factor of crossed lightsabers she pushes the Emperor back and turns his own electricity and his face is melted off Raiders of the Lost Ark style. Ben then comes back into the mix and repays the force healing from earlier and gives Rey the gift of life followed by a kiss. This is a kiss of death literally and he fades away into nothingness. In scenes not seen since the Avengers help arrives when all hope is gone, and the fight is won by the good guys again.
I felt that this film was too fast paced and had too many storylines that were quickly explored and this was at a detriment to what could have been. Maybe on repeat viewing there will be the chance to slow down and explore the potential of the film. Some scenes were for the older generation and some were for the newbies to the galaxy far, far away and this again was at a cost to the whole experience. This all being said the watch was enjoyable and had its genuine emotional moments and humour was used to break the tension at times with C3-PO having a few choice lines for once.