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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Table 19 (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
Mean spirited and atrocious.
I really hated this film. There. BOOM. Got it off my chest.
It all starts so promisingly, with a scene of Anna Kendrick (“The Accountant“, who can be a very good actress) rejecting a wedding invitation; then accepting it; then burning it; then blowing it out; then posting it. I laughed. This was a rarity. There are about five more smile-worthy moments in the movie, most of which are delivered by Stephen Merchant.
Anna plays Eloise who was SUPPOSED to be maid-of-honour at her best friend’s wedding, but then broke up – messily – with her brother (the best man). She stubbornly attends the wedding in a posh hotel and finds herself on “Table 19” – a socially unfavourable location, full of a bunch of misfits that everyone expected to say “no” but didn’t; a molly-coddled and awkward teen (Tony Revolori, “Spider-man: Homecoming“) with the single goal of getting laid; “The Kepps” – a bickering married couple (Lisa Kudrow (“The Girl on the Train“, “Friends”) and Craig Robinson (“Hot Tub Time Machine”)); a convicted fraudster serving his sentence in an open prison ( Stephen Merchant, “Logan“) and a druggie former nanny of the bride (June Squibb, “In and Out”).
The fundamental problem with the movie is that Jeffrey Blitz’s script (he also directs) is not only not very funny, but it is so fundamentally focused on the greedy and needy nature of the table’s American reprobates that at every turn it leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Their motives are all utterly selfish and there’s an “if we get away with it, then that’s fine” attitude that pervades the plot.
The nadir for me happens when – after trashing (albeit accidently) a key part of the wedding they are attending, they cover their selfish backsides by (deliberately) trashing the same key part of another wedding going on in the same hotel.
This is kind of positioned as a “revenge” sort of thing, but (in analysis) no wrong seems to have actually been done: its just another misunderstanding of the self-obsessed Eloise.
The Kepp’s story is also sad and selfish rather than comedic, and the resolution of this (and in fact all of the other sub-stories) for a nicely gift-wrapped ending is just saccharine and vomit-inducing.
This is a wedding present that should have come with a label in big red writing: “DO NOT OPEN“.
It all starts so promisingly, with a scene of Anna Kendrick (“The Accountant“, who can be a very good actress) rejecting a wedding invitation; then accepting it; then burning it; then blowing it out; then posting it. I laughed. This was a rarity. There are about five more smile-worthy moments in the movie, most of which are delivered by Stephen Merchant.
Anna plays Eloise who was SUPPOSED to be maid-of-honour at her best friend’s wedding, but then broke up – messily – with her brother (the best man). She stubbornly attends the wedding in a posh hotel and finds herself on “Table 19” – a socially unfavourable location, full of a bunch of misfits that everyone expected to say “no” but didn’t; a molly-coddled and awkward teen (Tony Revolori, “Spider-man: Homecoming“) with the single goal of getting laid; “The Kepps” – a bickering married couple (Lisa Kudrow (“The Girl on the Train“, “Friends”) and Craig Robinson (“Hot Tub Time Machine”)); a convicted fraudster serving his sentence in an open prison ( Stephen Merchant, “Logan“) and a druggie former nanny of the bride (June Squibb, “In and Out”).
The fundamental problem with the movie is that Jeffrey Blitz’s script (he also directs) is not only not very funny, but it is so fundamentally focused on the greedy and needy nature of the table’s American reprobates that at every turn it leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Their motives are all utterly selfish and there’s an “if we get away with it, then that’s fine” attitude that pervades the plot.
The nadir for me happens when – after trashing (albeit accidently) a key part of the wedding they are attending, they cover their selfish backsides by (deliberately) trashing the same key part of another wedding going on in the same hotel.
This is kind of positioned as a “revenge” sort of thing, but (in analysis) no wrong seems to have actually been done: its just another misunderstanding of the self-obsessed Eloise.
The Kepp’s story is also sad and selfish rather than comedic, and the resolution of this (and in fact all of the other sub-stories) for a nicely gift-wrapped ending is just saccharine and vomit-inducing.
This is a wedding present that should have come with a label in big red writing: “DO NOT OPEN“.
Lyndsey Gollogly (2893 KP) rated The White Magic Five and Dime ( Tarot Mysteries book 1) in Books
Aug 15, 2022
146 of 230
Kindle
The White Magic Five and Dime ( Tarot Mystery book 1)
By Steve Hockensmith and Lisa Falco
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
When Alanis McLachlan learns that her mother's been murdered, she's completely unsurprised. Not that Alanis had been given a glimpse into the future. That would be crazy, right? It's just that her con-woman mom, Barbra, was bound to cross the wrong people sooner or later. It's why Alanis was lucky to get out of her childhood alive - and why she hadn't spoken to her mother in decades.
But there is a surprise in store for Alanis. Barbra left her something in her will: a New Age shop in the tiny tourist trap town of Berdache, Arizona. The White Magic Five & Dime.
After going to Berdache to claim her inheritance, Alanis is drawn into the mystery around her mother's death. Did one of Barbra's customers finally get wise to her con-artist ways and take revenge? Alanis thinks she knows how to find out: She'll make those customers her own until she can find the killer. Alanis McLachlan, cynic and unbeliever, is about to become a tarot card reader.
With a little help from her mother's teenage apprentice and a snarky tarot how-to book called Infinite Roads to Knowing, Alanis begins bluffing her way through phony readings. But the more she gets to know the cards, the more she sees real meaning in them...and the closer the murderer comes to making her the next victim.
Omg I had issues with this book so many issues!
This is going to be a strange little review. I absolutely didn’t like the main character at all, she was written to be witty and sarcastic and it just did not work at all. She was irritating and so not funny it was just trying to hard!
So you may ask why a 4⭐️ and my answer is simply because I really enjoyed the book she was the only thing I disliked. I didn’t see the murderer coming till the last minute and it was a fun book to read it made me smile and I’m very much an emotional reviewer.
So yes the main character drove me crazy but the story was really good!
Kindle
The White Magic Five and Dime ( Tarot Mystery book 1)
By Steve Hockensmith and Lisa Falco
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
When Alanis McLachlan learns that her mother's been murdered, she's completely unsurprised. Not that Alanis had been given a glimpse into the future. That would be crazy, right? It's just that her con-woman mom, Barbra, was bound to cross the wrong people sooner or later. It's why Alanis was lucky to get out of her childhood alive - and why she hadn't spoken to her mother in decades.
But there is a surprise in store for Alanis. Barbra left her something in her will: a New Age shop in the tiny tourist trap town of Berdache, Arizona. The White Magic Five & Dime.
After going to Berdache to claim her inheritance, Alanis is drawn into the mystery around her mother's death. Did one of Barbra's customers finally get wise to her con-artist ways and take revenge? Alanis thinks she knows how to find out: She'll make those customers her own until she can find the killer. Alanis McLachlan, cynic and unbeliever, is about to become a tarot card reader.
With a little help from her mother's teenage apprentice and a snarky tarot how-to book called Infinite Roads to Knowing, Alanis begins bluffing her way through phony readings. But the more she gets to know the cards, the more she sees real meaning in them...and the closer the murderer comes to making her the next victim.
Omg I had issues with this book so many issues!
This is going to be a strange little review. I absolutely didn’t like the main character at all, she was written to be witty and sarcastic and it just did not work at all. She was irritating and so not funny it was just trying to hard!
So you may ask why a 4⭐️ and my answer is simply because I really enjoyed the book she was the only thing I disliked. I didn’t see the murderer coming till the last minute and it was a fun book to read it made me smile and I’m very much an emotional reviewer.
So yes the main character drove me crazy but the story was really good!
Andy Meakin (5 KP) rated War for the Planet of the Apes (2017) in Movies
Jan 8, 2018
Apes...together...strong!
The recent revival of the Apes franchise has managed to defy all expectations by not only being a worthy entry into the franchise, but also being strong films on their own merit. Working as a kind-of-prequel-reboot of the old franchise, and ignoring the Tim Burton film completely, it is strange to realise this is only the third film since the reboot. Lesser franchises would have churned out one every year or two, and be up to part five by now, but not the Apes films. It genuinely feels like they are taking time to ensure each film is worthy. Which is where another expectation is defied – the films don’t seem to diminish in quality, nor feel repetitive. Each entry so far has had its own feel and worked to move the story along. War for the Planet of the Apes is no exception, and is one of the finest blockbuster films of this year.
It has been 15 years since the events of the first film, and the release of the Simian Flu virus that wiped out a large percentage of humanity. The events of the second film saw the start of conflict between the apes and humans, instigated by Koba who defied Caesar’s leadership. Now, humanity are hunting down the apes, with one Colonel (Woody Harrelson) in particular striving to wipe them out entirely. When that Colonel attacks Caesar’s tribe, killing those close to him, it sets the ape leader off on a personal revenge journey, with only a few of his most loyal followers supporting him on the way. However, along the way they encounter two new recruits, an ape hermit who has also developed speech, and a young human girl who is showing signs of a new strain of the Simian virus.
It is a testament to the motion captured performances and the quality of the CGI on offer that at no point during the film do you not believe that the apes on screen are real. There’s a line in the film where Harrelson’s Colonel comments on how human looking Caesar’s eyes are, and whilst you could see that in the context of the film series’ arc (apes are becoming the new rulers, usurping humanity, and so are becoming more human), you can also see it as a nod to how the ‘uncanny valley’ dead-eye stare that plagues CGI in film is entirely absent here. Indeed, given that every scene in this relatively moderate $150million budget film is an effect shot, as apes are present throughout, it is jaw dropping that it looks a far more polished film than, for example, the $265million budgeted Rogue One – a film which tried desperately with two key CGI characters and failed so hard in the brief screen time they had. Over all the Apes series has impressed with the effects work, but here it is pretty much flawless.
But it isn’t all about the effects. In fact the action-packed film the trailers seemed to hint at is instead a thoughtful, character-driven revenge journey, with only short bursts of action. This is Caesar’s dark-journey of the soul, the end result of his attempts to live a peaceful co-existence with a humanity that fears him and his kind. Many comparisons can be drawn to films such as Apocalypse Now (something the film is aware of and manages to drop a reference to as a result), where a troubled individual, tired of war, seeks a crazed Colonel who is amassing his own army for an unknown purpose. The two core leads in their respective roles give their all. Serkis acting to a high degree, and giving genuine life to Caesar, and Harrelson gone completely Brando in his part, menacing without being overbearing.
The journey itself is a compelling story, and the support characters, some who we already know (Maurice, Luca and Rocket) acting as the conscience and the advisers to the troubled Caesar. The new additions, Amiah Miller’s war orphan who Maurice adopts on their journey, and Bad Ape (Steve Zahn) offer heart and comic relief respectively. The comic timing is perfectly placed, never feeling forced, and being deftly used to offer a glimmer of hope and joy in what is otherwise a very dark tale.
The film, overall, nicely rounds out the trilogy, whilst still leaving room for future films down the line. Matt Reeves’ direction makes effective use of his cast and settings, whilst the score by Michael Giacchino has grown more ‘ape-inspired’ since he scored the previous film, reflecting in its drums and pipes the more primate nature manner the world is taking as technology and humanity dwindles.
“Apes together strong!” is Caesar’s mantra. Indeed, all three Apes films, when viewed together, can be seen as one impressive, strong story, with a genuine progression throughout. A third film in a franchise usually derails and loses the way. Not here as this is one of the finest examples of intelligent blockbuster that you will find.
It has been 15 years since the events of the first film, and the release of the Simian Flu virus that wiped out a large percentage of humanity. The events of the second film saw the start of conflict between the apes and humans, instigated by Koba who defied Caesar’s leadership. Now, humanity are hunting down the apes, with one Colonel (Woody Harrelson) in particular striving to wipe them out entirely. When that Colonel attacks Caesar’s tribe, killing those close to him, it sets the ape leader off on a personal revenge journey, with only a few of his most loyal followers supporting him on the way. However, along the way they encounter two new recruits, an ape hermit who has also developed speech, and a young human girl who is showing signs of a new strain of the Simian virus.
It is a testament to the motion captured performances and the quality of the CGI on offer that at no point during the film do you not believe that the apes on screen are real. There’s a line in the film where Harrelson’s Colonel comments on how human looking Caesar’s eyes are, and whilst you could see that in the context of the film series’ arc (apes are becoming the new rulers, usurping humanity, and so are becoming more human), you can also see it as a nod to how the ‘uncanny valley’ dead-eye stare that plagues CGI in film is entirely absent here. Indeed, given that every scene in this relatively moderate $150million budget film is an effect shot, as apes are present throughout, it is jaw dropping that it looks a far more polished film than, for example, the $265million budgeted Rogue One – a film which tried desperately with two key CGI characters and failed so hard in the brief screen time they had. Over all the Apes series has impressed with the effects work, but here it is pretty much flawless.
But it isn’t all about the effects. In fact the action-packed film the trailers seemed to hint at is instead a thoughtful, character-driven revenge journey, with only short bursts of action. This is Caesar’s dark-journey of the soul, the end result of his attempts to live a peaceful co-existence with a humanity that fears him and his kind. Many comparisons can be drawn to films such as Apocalypse Now (something the film is aware of and manages to drop a reference to as a result), where a troubled individual, tired of war, seeks a crazed Colonel who is amassing his own army for an unknown purpose. The two core leads in their respective roles give their all. Serkis acting to a high degree, and giving genuine life to Caesar, and Harrelson gone completely Brando in his part, menacing without being overbearing.
The journey itself is a compelling story, and the support characters, some who we already know (Maurice, Luca and Rocket) acting as the conscience and the advisers to the troubled Caesar. The new additions, Amiah Miller’s war orphan who Maurice adopts on their journey, and Bad Ape (Steve Zahn) offer heart and comic relief respectively. The comic timing is perfectly placed, never feeling forced, and being deftly used to offer a glimmer of hope and joy in what is otherwise a very dark tale.
The film, overall, nicely rounds out the trilogy, whilst still leaving room for future films down the line. Matt Reeves’ direction makes effective use of his cast and settings, whilst the score by Michael Giacchino has grown more ‘ape-inspired’ since he scored the previous film, reflecting in its drums and pipes the more primate nature manner the world is taking as technology and humanity dwindles.
“Apes together strong!” is Caesar’s mantra. Indeed, all three Apes films, when viewed together, can be seen as one impressive, strong story, with a genuine progression throughout. A third film in a franchise usually derails and loses the way. Not here as this is one of the finest examples of intelligent blockbuster that you will find.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated War for the Planet of the Apes (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
Putting the “ape” in “The Great Esc-ape”.
2011’s “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” was the one of the big movie surprises for me of that year. With staggeringly good mo-cap for the apes and a touching and memorable story it was (or would have been) a 5-Fad classic. 2014’s “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” whilst also good took a slight backward step. With “War”, the form is back almost to top notch, and this is a summer release at last deserving of the suffix “blockbuster”.
We have moved a number of years forwards from the events of “Dawn” and society as we know it has crumbled away still further: even the “Holidays are Coming” Coke lorry is no longer in service, so things MUST be bad! We begin the film with the apes having a nice ‘Centre Parcs’ break when their reverie and cappuccinos are rudely interrupted by the attacking forces of “The Colonel” (Woody Harrelson, “Triple 9“, “Zombieland”). For The Colonel is intent on tracking down and killing ape-leader Caesar (Andy Serkis, “LOTR”).
After things get decidedly personal, Caesar leaves his young son Cornelius (in a nice nod to the Roddy McDowell role in the original films) to find and kill The Colonel. So follows a “True Grit” style pursuit/revenge chase, made more similar to this analogy by the picking up of a waif-like mute girl (the excellent Amiah Miller). I found this to be a really emotional plot line, with Caesar torn between the animal drive of his revenge and his role as a leader to his whole community.
The film analogies continue as we take in a “Shining”-style winter hotel; a gritty Prisoner-of-War camp escape drama (“The Great Esc-ape”?); a barricades battle in the style of Helm’s Deep in “LOTR: The Two Towers”; and a full-on Coppola-style helicopter-based war sequence (“Ape-ocalypse now”, as graffiti in the film declares).
Once again, the mo-cap ability to express true emotions on the faces of the apes is mind-blowing, with Serkis again being outstanding as is Steve Zahn (“Dallas Buyer’s Club“) adding some (very funny) comic relief as “Bad Ape”.
While Woody Harrelson is not everyone’s cup of tea (including mine), here I found him to be actually very good (“SO EMOTIONAL”!) as the half crazed dictator forcing beings he sees as less worthy than his kind to build a wall. (That’s just SO familiar… think dammit… think….!). There’s a really cool plot twist in The Colonel’s character arc that I really didn’t see coming. Just so cool.
Another star of the film for me was Michael Giacchino’s music which is simply awesome. Starting with a superbly retro rendition of the 20th Century Fox theme (not top of my list: “The Simpson’s Movie” still holds that spot for me!) Giacchino decorates every scene with great themes and like all great film music some of it you barely notice. A dramatic telling by the Colonel of his back-story is accompanied by sonorous music that is similar in its power to James Horner’s classic “Electronic Battlefield” in “Patriot Games”: only when the scene finishes and the music stops do you appreciate how central it was to the emotion of the scene. (As I sat through all of the end-titles for the music I can also confirm that – despite all the odds – there is no “monkey” at the end!)
The script by “Dawn” collaborators Mark Bomback and (director) Matt Reeves is eventful and packs a dramatic punch particularly in the last half of the film. The talented Mr Reeves (who also directed “Cloverfield” and “Let Me In” and is in assigned to the next Ben Affleck outing as “The Batman”) directs with panache, never letting the foot come off the tension pedal.
On the downside, that “last half of the film” is still 70 minutes away, and whilst I appreciate a leisurely pace for properly setting characters and motivations in place, getting to those simply brilliant scenes set at “the border” is a bit of a slog that might have been tightened up and moved along a bit quicker. Also, while talking about editing, I would have personally ended the film about 90 seconds before they did.
I saw this in 3D, but the effects are subtle at best (although there is a nice binocular rangefinder view). In my opinion it’s not worth going out of your way to experience in 3D.
But overall I loved this movie. The film is chock full of visual delights for film lovers (one of my favourites being “Bedtime for Bonzo” – a nice historical film reference – written on the back of a soldier’s helmet). It’s an epic action film with a strong emotional core to the story that genuinely moved me. There may be other spin-off Planet of the Apes films to follow. But if they left this here, as a near-perfect trilogy, that would be absolutely fine by me.
We have moved a number of years forwards from the events of “Dawn” and society as we know it has crumbled away still further: even the “Holidays are Coming” Coke lorry is no longer in service, so things MUST be bad! We begin the film with the apes having a nice ‘Centre Parcs’ break when their reverie and cappuccinos are rudely interrupted by the attacking forces of “The Colonel” (Woody Harrelson, “Triple 9“, “Zombieland”). For The Colonel is intent on tracking down and killing ape-leader Caesar (Andy Serkis, “LOTR”).
After things get decidedly personal, Caesar leaves his young son Cornelius (in a nice nod to the Roddy McDowell role in the original films) to find and kill The Colonel. So follows a “True Grit” style pursuit/revenge chase, made more similar to this analogy by the picking up of a waif-like mute girl (the excellent Amiah Miller). I found this to be a really emotional plot line, with Caesar torn between the animal drive of his revenge and his role as a leader to his whole community.
The film analogies continue as we take in a “Shining”-style winter hotel; a gritty Prisoner-of-War camp escape drama (“The Great Esc-ape”?); a barricades battle in the style of Helm’s Deep in “LOTR: The Two Towers”; and a full-on Coppola-style helicopter-based war sequence (“Ape-ocalypse now”, as graffiti in the film declares).
Once again, the mo-cap ability to express true emotions on the faces of the apes is mind-blowing, with Serkis again being outstanding as is Steve Zahn (“Dallas Buyer’s Club“) adding some (very funny) comic relief as “Bad Ape”.
While Woody Harrelson is not everyone’s cup of tea (including mine), here I found him to be actually very good (“SO EMOTIONAL”!) as the half crazed dictator forcing beings he sees as less worthy than his kind to build a wall. (That’s just SO familiar… think dammit… think….!). There’s a really cool plot twist in The Colonel’s character arc that I really didn’t see coming. Just so cool.
Another star of the film for me was Michael Giacchino’s music which is simply awesome. Starting with a superbly retro rendition of the 20th Century Fox theme (not top of my list: “The Simpson’s Movie” still holds that spot for me!) Giacchino decorates every scene with great themes and like all great film music some of it you barely notice. A dramatic telling by the Colonel of his back-story is accompanied by sonorous music that is similar in its power to James Horner’s classic “Electronic Battlefield” in “Patriot Games”: only when the scene finishes and the music stops do you appreciate how central it was to the emotion of the scene. (As I sat through all of the end-titles for the music I can also confirm that – despite all the odds – there is no “monkey” at the end!)
The script by “Dawn” collaborators Mark Bomback and (director) Matt Reeves is eventful and packs a dramatic punch particularly in the last half of the film. The talented Mr Reeves (who also directed “Cloverfield” and “Let Me In” and is in assigned to the next Ben Affleck outing as “The Batman”) directs with panache, never letting the foot come off the tension pedal.
On the downside, that “last half of the film” is still 70 minutes away, and whilst I appreciate a leisurely pace for properly setting characters and motivations in place, getting to those simply brilliant scenes set at “the border” is a bit of a slog that might have been tightened up and moved along a bit quicker. Also, while talking about editing, I would have personally ended the film about 90 seconds before they did.
I saw this in 3D, but the effects are subtle at best (although there is a nice binocular rangefinder view). In my opinion it’s not worth going out of your way to experience in 3D.
But overall I loved this movie. The film is chock full of visual delights for film lovers (one of my favourites being “Bedtime for Bonzo” – a nice historical film reference – written on the back of a soldier’s helmet). It’s an epic action film with a strong emotional core to the story that genuinely moved me. There may be other spin-off Planet of the Apes films to follow. But if they left this here, as a near-perfect trilogy, that would be absolutely fine by me.
Scott Tostik (389 KP) rated The Burning (1981) in Movies
Jun 21, 2017
Amazing SFX by Tom Savini (2 more)
One of the best camp slashers
A great killer before the likes of Jason, Myers and Freddy
Welcome to Camp... Oh who gives a shit... Let's get on with the killing
This has got to be one of my favorite and top 5 first watch in a relationship films of all time.
Not for the squeamish at all. The Burning has some of the best post CGI kill effects... And personally I love practical effects, nothing destroys a good beheading like digitized blood flying around out of sync with the body dropping.
Effects Master Tom Savini was fresh off the original Friday the 13th when he landed this flick.
A few years into the past the kids of a summer camp decide to pull a prank on the asshole caretaker involving a skull all dolled up with maggots, worms and burning eyes for effect. They sneak it into his dilapidated cabin, where he is sleeping off a drunk, and proceed to bang on his windows shaking him awake and scaring the hell out of hum. In his flailing fear he knocks the skull onto a pile of blankets and his hanging curtains and the whole place goes up in flames... As does he... His name is Cropsey... And he is engulfed in fire. The kids run like hell to get away as Cropsey flies out the door, rolls down a hill and ends up in the lake. Now I'm no doctor, never claim to be and certainly have never played one on tv, but in my imagination dirty lake water and freshly burnt skin do not a good combination make.
We skip ahead a few years and Cropsey is released from the hospital and goes into the downtown core of wherever the hell he is, searching for something. Wearing a trenchcoat and an old fedora over his scars. He picks up a hooker and goes to her place. She gets him to take off his clothes and recoils in horror. He grabs a pair of scissors and exacts revenge.
Without giving more away. You can see where this is going. A slash and gash festival unlike anything is about to follow. Starring a few familiar faces such as Seinfeld's Jason Alexander, Short Circut's Fisher Stevens and a young Holly Hunter in what I imagine was their first big breaks in film. This movie offers the viewer a glimpse of things to come in the slasher sub-genre of horror.
It's worth it alone of the scene in the canoe... What is that you may ask... Watch The damned movie and find out...lol
Not for the squeamish at all. The Burning has some of the best post CGI kill effects... And personally I love practical effects, nothing destroys a good beheading like digitized blood flying around out of sync with the body dropping.
Effects Master Tom Savini was fresh off the original Friday the 13th when he landed this flick.
A few years into the past the kids of a summer camp decide to pull a prank on the asshole caretaker involving a skull all dolled up with maggots, worms and burning eyes for effect. They sneak it into his dilapidated cabin, where he is sleeping off a drunk, and proceed to bang on his windows shaking him awake and scaring the hell out of hum. In his flailing fear he knocks the skull onto a pile of blankets and his hanging curtains and the whole place goes up in flames... As does he... His name is Cropsey... And he is engulfed in fire. The kids run like hell to get away as Cropsey flies out the door, rolls down a hill and ends up in the lake. Now I'm no doctor, never claim to be and certainly have never played one on tv, but in my imagination dirty lake water and freshly burnt skin do not a good combination make.
We skip ahead a few years and Cropsey is released from the hospital and goes into the downtown core of wherever the hell he is, searching for something. Wearing a trenchcoat and an old fedora over his scars. He picks up a hooker and goes to her place. She gets him to take off his clothes and recoils in horror. He grabs a pair of scissors and exacts revenge.
Without giving more away. You can see where this is going. A slash and gash festival unlike anything is about to follow. Starring a few familiar faces such as Seinfeld's Jason Alexander, Short Circut's Fisher Stevens and a young Holly Hunter in what I imagine was their first big breaks in film. This movie offers the viewer a glimpse of things to come in the slasher sub-genre of horror.
It's worth it alone of the scene in the canoe... What is that you may ask... Watch The damned movie and find out...lol
Haley Mathiot (9 KP) rated A Jolly Good Fellow in Books
Apr 27, 2018
A Jolly Good Fellow by Stephen V. Masse
Genre: Fiction, Comedy, sort of Crime Fiction but not really
Rating: 3.75/5
Summary: Duncan is driving to the kids house. He has a plan—he’s going to kidnap him. But then he sees the kid hitchhiking in the snow. What better way to kidnap someone that to pick him up off the road and offer him a ride? Duncan dresses up as Santa Clause and sits on the street ringing a bell all day. The funds go to the needy—needy as in him. Duncan wants revenge, and he wants the ransom money. But Duncan isn’t exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer… he has no idea how to do a proper kidnapping.
Thoughts: A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW was really cute. It made me laugh, it made me smile, it had its nerve-wracking moments. It’s right in between a 3/5 and a 4 on the scale for me. The reason why is this—the plot was awesome, very unique, original, and very cute, the characters were hilarious and enchanting, but it was a little slow through the first three quarters of the book. Not that it dragged, just that it felt like the last section was fast paced, and the rest was slower and more relaxed, and those two things didn’t go well together and didn’t transition well.
I laughed a lot while I read A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW. If I had to pick a category, I’d choose comedy. It was cute and funny and a little silly, but silly in a good fun-to-read way.
The characters’ dialogue was written so that you could hear their voices in your head when they spoke. I loved hearing their accents while I read, it gave a lot of life to them. Duncan and Gabriel were very animated. Gabriel (the kid) was so full of life and energy. He was also very real. He acted the way a normal kid his age would act, he wasn’t a “perfect” child, an unrealistic character.
Content: There were a few bad words scattered throughout the book, but not much. Duncan went to the triple-X rated movie one night, but nothing was described. All in all, this was a very clean book.
Recommendation: Ages 14+ to anyone who wants a good holiday laugh. I stayed up pretty late reading this one because I couldn’t put it down. I can’t wait for more from Stephen Masse.
*This book won the INDEPENDEND PUBLISHING BOOK AWARD*
**Thanks to Pump Up Your Book for my review copy!**
Genre: Fiction, Comedy, sort of Crime Fiction but not really
Rating: 3.75/5
Summary: Duncan is driving to the kids house. He has a plan—he’s going to kidnap him. But then he sees the kid hitchhiking in the snow. What better way to kidnap someone that to pick him up off the road and offer him a ride? Duncan dresses up as Santa Clause and sits on the street ringing a bell all day. The funds go to the needy—needy as in him. Duncan wants revenge, and he wants the ransom money. But Duncan isn’t exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer… he has no idea how to do a proper kidnapping.
Thoughts: A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW was really cute. It made me laugh, it made me smile, it had its nerve-wracking moments. It’s right in between a 3/5 and a 4 on the scale for me. The reason why is this—the plot was awesome, very unique, original, and very cute, the characters were hilarious and enchanting, but it was a little slow through the first three quarters of the book. Not that it dragged, just that it felt like the last section was fast paced, and the rest was slower and more relaxed, and those two things didn’t go well together and didn’t transition well.
I laughed a lot while I read A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW. If I had to pick a category, I’d choose comedy. It was cute and funny and a little silly, but silly in a good fun-to-read way.
The characters’ dialogue was written so that you could hear their voices in your head when they spoke. I loved hearing their accents while I read, it gave a lot of life to them. Duncan and Gabriel were very animated. Gabriel (the kid) was so full of life and energy. He was also very real. He acted the way a normal kid his age would act, he wasn’t a “perfect” child, an unrealistic character.
Content: There were a few bad words scattered throughout the book, but not much. Duncan went to the triple-X rated movie one night, but nothing was described. All in all, this was a very clean book.
Recommendation: Ages 14+ to anyone who wants a good holiday laugh. I stayed up pretty late reading this one because I couldn’t put it down. I can’t wait for more from Stephen Masse.
*This book won the INDEPENDEND PUBLISHING BOOK AWARD*
**Thanks to Pump Up Your Book for my review copy!**
Whatchareadin (174 KP) rated Private #1 Suspect (Private, #2) in Books
May 10, 2018
Private really has their work cut out for them this time. Two major cases that have very strong implications to the community. First, there are four dead and burned bodies that have been found on the beach. They carry a sign that says 'No Prisoners'. Days later there are more dead bodies, another sign, and promises that this is not the end. Then they have the case of the Harlows. A Hollywood couple who make great movies and do amazing philanthropy work all over the world. When they go missing without a trace, it's up to Private to find out why they were taken and where they could be.
Another interesting book by James Patterson. This is the third book for the Los Angeles Private offices series and the sixth book for the entire Private series. I think next I'm going to read Private Games that has to deal with the Olympics in London since the Olympics are going on right now.
For the first few chapters of this book, I wasn't sure what was going to happen or if I was going to continue to read the book. But after a while, the action got going and my attention was held. Let's start with the first case of dead bodies showing up on the beach. There is a group out there who is looking to get revenge, but for what? And who are these people. They want the city of Los Angeles to pay them big money or they will continue to kill people. One more person per day than the day before. How are they going to be stopped if they can't be found. When one of Private's own investigators gets seriously injured on the job, Jack, the head of Private is even more determined to find out who these people are.
For the Harlow's, on the surface they seem like your typical Hollywood couple, but they have some skeletons in their closet. Skeletons their closest team members do not want to let the whole world know about. So, when they ask that Private not involve the police or the FBI in this case, this make the situation even more difficult. When the skeletons come to the surface, it's easy to see why the Harlow's wouldn't want this getting out to the public.
Packed with adventure around every corner and a few funny bits along the way, this was a great Private book by James Patterson.
Another interesting book by James Patterson. This is the third book for the Los Angeles Private offices series and the sixth book for the entire Private series. I think next I'm going to read Private Games that has to deal with the Olympics in London since the Olympics are going on right now.
For the first few chapters of this book, I wasn't sure what was going to happen or if I was going to continue to read the book. But after a while, the action got going and my attention was held. Let's start with the first case of dead bodies showing up on the beach. There is a group out there who is looking to get revenge, but for what? And who are these people. They want the city of Los Angeles to pay them big money or they will continue to kill people. One more person per day than the day before. How are they going to be stopped if they can't be found. When one of Private's own investigators gets seriously injured on the job, Jack, the head of Private is even more determined to find out who these people are.
For the Harlow's, on the surface they seem like your typical Hollywood couple, but they have some skeletons in their closet. Skeletons their closest team members do not want to let the whole world know about. So, when they ask that Private not involve the police or the FBI in this case, this make the situation even more difficult. When the skeletons come to the surface, it's easy to see why the Harlow's wouldn't want this getting out to the public.
Packed with adventure around every corner and a few funny bits along the way, this was a great Private book by James Patterson.
Kristy H (1252 KP) rated The Spite Game in Books
Mar 15, 2019
Creepy and readable but rather strange
Ava was terribly bullied in high school by three girls she idolized: Melissa, Cass, Saanvi. One particular incident so traumatized her that she cannot move on and years later, she finds herself unable to get past it. So she watches her former classmates--online and in real life--and she plots. If she can just find a way to get even, Ava thinks, then she can move on with her own life. But Ava's stalking threatens to overtake her life and perhaps her sanity. She finds herself in a police station, waiting to tell her story to a detective. What has Ava done?
"The bad thing inside of me took root there. Like mold, it grew in that hot moist place. You won't want to hear any of this. My story. I know that. But if you want me to confess, then you'll have to listen."
This one reminded me of a lesser version of Roz Nay's Our Little Secret, where so much of the tale is our main character telling her woes and recapping her life while in a police station. I didn't love Ava or hate her: I often felt sorry for her. Her inability to move past high school basically crippled her entire life, and her revenge mission is all she has.
This was a weird book. It switches in time frequently, going between whatever the present moment is and then Ava remembering moments in high school. I found the timeframe to be confusing at times. Ava's singular focus on her former classmates--and getting even--could be frustrating at moments, yet the book was also oddly compelling and somewhat addictive. It certainly did a good job at capturing the meanness of high school girls. What a terrible time that is.
"I was so naive, so ready to give those girls everything: my loyalty, my trust, my devoted friendship. I was ready to spill every secret I ever had, to follow them to the ends of the earth. I guess the last bit turned out to be true, in some ways."
It was a creepy read sometimes. I guessed the ending a bit early, but that didn't really make it any less enjoyable. Overall, I found this one a little odd and a little off-putting. It was a strange read, with a pointed focus on its main character (and her own mission). Still, it was rather readable.
I received a copy of this novel from the publisher and Netgalley in return for an unbiased review (thank you!).
"The bad thing inside of me took root there. Like mold, it grew in that hot moist place. You won't want to hear any of this. My story. I know that. But if you want me to confess, then you'll have to listen."
This one reminded me of a lesser version of Roz Nay's Our Little Secret, where so much of the tale is our main character telling her woes and recapping her life while in a police station. I didn't love Ava or hate her: I often felt sorry for her. Her inability to move past high school basically crippled her entire life, and her revenge mission is all she has.
This was a weird book. It switches in time frequently, going between whatever the present moment is and then Ava remembering moments in high school. I found the timeframe to be confusing at times. Ava's singular focus on her former classmates--and getting even--could be frustrating at moments, yet the book was also oddly compelling and somewhat addictive. It certainly did a good job at capturing the meanness of high school girls. What a terrible time that is.
"I was so naive, so ready to give those girls everything: my loyalty, my trust, my devoted friendship. I was ready to spill every secret I ever had, to follow them to the ends of the earth. I guess the last bit turned out to be true, in some ways."
It was a creepy read sometimes. I guessed the ending a bit early, but that didn't really make it any less enjoyable. Overall, I found this one a little odd and a little off-putting. It was a strange read, with a pointed focus on its main character (and her own mission). Still, it was rather readable.
I received a copy of this novel from the publisher and Netgalley in return for an unbiased review (thank you!).
Sassy Brit (97 KP) rated Manchester Vice in Books
Jun 6, 2019
^^ Imagine you’re able to make contact with a serial killer, and before he dies he passes on his diary, which reveals the secret location of his murderous lair; all set up and ready to go. Then imagine, before you know what to do with this information, you discover your wife is having an affair with your annoying brother of whom you’ve never been close to. Of course, your wife’s not to blame, as lately you’ve not been a very attentive husband, but that could change with your brother out of the way, right? In fact, it’s the perfect solution. What could possibly go wrong with such a rock solid plan?
^^ This is what happens to the main character, Brad Sharpe, in Jack Strange’s Manchester Vice. Brad is often portrayed as a guy who contemplates what’s going on in his life, and seems to discover the answers to his own problems as he is telling us the story, yet, he fails to understand the blantly obvious staring at him in the face. As an example, in one scene he thinks there is a strong possibility his wife is having an affair with someone who lives in the same block of flats as his brother…. (At this point I’m throwing my hands up in the air and going, “Well, doh?”). Yep, see what I mean? So, when he finally cottons on (hallelujah) he’s on to his next get even scheme. I guess, Sharpe’s not as sharp as he likes to think!
^^ And what of the diary? This is a great addition to the story as it acts like a step-by-step manual to extract (or should I say extinguish?) anything he doesn’t like from his life. Yet there’s an even bigger twist in this story of revenge, and that’s how he keeps in close proximity with the police as a journalist reporting on the crime of this elusive serial killer. Himself.
^^ The ending did not disappoint, in fact, I kind of regretted that it ended at all and throughly enjoyed reading about Brad’s escapades, especially his reign of power and journalistic fame.
Overall: Manchester Vice is a story of betrayal, comeuppance, and rash decisions made from a rookie murderer bungling his way through one mistake after another. Jack Strange’s character Brad Sharpe has a fresh voice and his antics are both gruesome and downright comedic. I love the way he maintains a sense of right and wrong throughout, even though his morals are very different to most of ours. A fun, dark and fabulously disturbing, “Brit Grit” read.
^^ This is what happens to the main character, Brad Sharpe, in Jack Strange’s Manchester Vice. Brad is often portrayed as a guy who contemplates what’s going on in his life, and seems to discover the answers to his own problems as he is telling us the story, yet, he fails to understand the blantly obvious staring at him in the face. As an example, in one scene he thinks there is a strong possibility his wife is having an affair with someone who lives in the same block of flats as his brother…. (At this point I’m throwing my hands up in the air and going, “Well, doh?”). Yep, see what I mean? So, when he finally cottons on (hallelujah) he’s on to his next get even scheme. I guess, Sharpe’s not as sharp as he likes to think!
^^ And what of the diary? This is a great addition to the story as it acts like a step-by-step manual to extract (or should I say extinguish?) anything he doesn’t like from his life. Yet there’s an even bigger twist in this story of revenge, and that’s how he keeps in close proximity with the police as a journalist reporting on the crime of this elusive serial killer. Himself.
^^ The ending did not disappoint, in fact, I kind of regretted that it ended at all and throughly enjoyed reading about Brad’s escapades, especially his reign of power and journalistic fame.
Overall: Manchester Vice is a story of betrayal, comeuppance, and rash decisions made from a rookie murderer bungling his way through one mistake after another. Jack Strange’s character Brad Sharpe has a fresh voice and his antics are both gruesome and downright comedic. I love the way he maintains a sense of right and wrong throughout, even though his morals are very different to most of ours. A fun, dark and fabulously disturbing, “Brit Grit” read.
Zuky the BookBum (15 KP) rated Desperation Road in Books
Mar 15, 2018
Read my review here: https://bookbumzuky.wordpress.com/2017/02/16/review-desperation-road-by-michael-farris-smith/
<b><i>Now they loved different lives, different from what any of them probably imagined. How could you imagine the complexities of what might come?</b></i>
One night, eleven years ago, Russell did something stupid, made a terrible mistake - he drank and drove and ended up killing someone. Now hes done his time in prison and he just wants to settle down into a normal life. On the same day as Russells release, troubled Maben, and her daughter, are trudging through the grass along the interstate. That night they end up in a motel with no money left and Maben decides theres something shes got to do to get them some cash. The night ends, instead, with a dead deputy and Maben pulling her daughter off running. The next day, Russell and Maben cross paths and Russell has to decide if it's his life, or theirs, that hes going to save.
This is a story about revenge, redemption and acceptance. Quite a different novel to what Im used to but I do like to step outside my comfort zone every once in awhile. I ended up really enjoying this book, even though, as the title suggests, its a little bit dark and depressing at times.
What I loved the most about this book was how realistic it was. There are millions of mystery thrillers out there, that I read on the daily, that are based around normal people;s lives but we know, could never be real. This story, on the other hand, is perfectly plausible to imagine in a bit of a down-and-out town. With inherently flawed but morally conscious people and others who are driven to madness and evil by their deep rooted emotions, this is the kind of novel that can really hit home.
Russell, although flawed in many ways, is one of the most likeable characters Ive ever come across. He means no harm to anyone and does everything out of the good of his heart.
My only issue with this novel was the ending, that I felt could have been grown upon. It felt a bit dead-ended and cut off, but other than that, this was a beautiful story.
<i>Thanks to Netgalley and Little, Brown and Company for giving me the opportunity to read this in exchange for an honest review.</i>
<b><i>Now they loved different lives, different from what any of them probably imagined. How could you imagine the complexities of what might come?</b></i>
One night, eleven years ago, Russell did something stupid, made a terrible mistake - he drank and drove and ended up killing someone. Now hes done his time in prison and he just wants to settle down into a normal life. On the same day as Russells release, troubled Maben, and her daughter, are trudging through the grass along the interstate. That night they end up in a motel with no money left and Maben decides theres something shes got to do to get them some cash. The night ends, instead, with a dead deputy and Maben pulling her daughter off running. The next day, Russell and Maben cross paths and Russell has to decide if it's his life, or theirs, that hes going to save.
This is a story about revenge, redemption and acceptance. Quite a different novel to what Im used to but I do like to step outside my comfort zone every once in awhile. I ended up really enjoying this book, even though, as the title suggests, its a little bit dark and depressing at times.
What I loved the most about this book was how realistic it was. There are millions of mystery thrillers out there, that I read on the daily, that are based around normal people;s lives but we know, could never be real. This story, on the other hand, is perfectly plausible to imagine in a bit of a down-and-out town. With inherently flawed but morally conscious people and others who are driven to madness and evil by their deep rooted emotions, this is the kind of novel that can really hit home.
Russell, although flawed in many ways, is one of the most likeable characters Ive ever come across. He means no harm to anyone and does everything out of the good of his heart.
My only issue with this novel was the ending, that I felt could have been grown upon. It felt a bit dead-ended and cut off, but other than that, this was a beautiful story.
<i>Thanks to Netgalley and Little, Brown and Company for giving me the opportunity to read this in exchange for an honest review.</i>