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Cumberland (1142 KP) created a post in The Smashbomb Book Club
Jun 13, 2019
Gareth von Kallenbach (965 KP) rated Walk the Line (2005) in Movies
Aug 14, 2019
Condensing something as vast and complex as the life of a person into a film is often a daunting task. With so many events that comprise the span of an individual, knowing what to cover and what to omit is a daunting task for any writer. For an icon like Johnny Cash, this task becomes monumental as not only does the history and humanity of the individual need to be captured, but the very soul of the artist as well.
Thankfully in the film Walk the Line Writer Gil Dennis and Writer/Director James Mangold capture the very essence of The Man in Black. Unlike many biopics that focus on the rise and fall of an individual, Walk the Line strives to balance than man and his demons without losing the compassion of the character.
The film stars Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash, a man who rose from poverty in Dyess Arkansas to become on of the most beloved and enduring entertainers in history. Chronicling portions of his childhood, and the hardships he endured as well as his sting in the Air Force, we are shown things that helped shape the man he was to become. Shortly after his Air Force career, Johnny marries Vivian (Ginnifer Goodwin), and they start a family. Struggling to make ends meet as a door to door salesman, and facing pressure to take a job with her father in San Antonio Johnny manages to gain an audition for Sun Records in Nashville.
When told in the audition that his Gospel songs will not sell, Johnny instead performs one of his own compositions and earns a record contract. Before long, he and his band are on the road playing with the likes of Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis Presley, and June Carter (Reese Witherspoon). June who has been part of a singing family
as well as an object of admiration for Johnny since their childhoods soon becomes a friend to Johnny as he copes with rising fame and the pressures and temptations of life on the road.
As Johnny spends more and more time on the road, tensions between him and Vivian grow causing Johnny to delve deeper into the temptations that are available to him as a star. During this time, Johhny becomes obsessed with June, who wile attracted to Johnny has just come from a failed marriage and does not want to break up Johnny’s family. It is against this backdrop that the unusual courtship between the two begins. They spend time with one another on the road, they talk for hours on end, and even perform duets with one another on stage, yet Johnny’s love for June remains a source of frustration that only leads him deeper into his destructive behaviors.
While the addition that grips Johnny is a driving part of the film, the main focus of the story is the love between Johnny and June and their unusual courtship that survived despite marriages, addictions, denials, and their own insecurities. Phoenix and Witherspoon are amazing and give Oscar Caliber performances that are easily the best in recent years. Not only do they both convey the mannerisms of their flesh and blood counterparts, but they convey solid chemistry and compassion from the audience.
While one can say that Johnny was an adulterer and a drug addict, his gentle nature, compassion, and humanity are abundantly clear in the way he is portrayed by Phoenix. We do not see Cash as a stuck up rock star, we see him as a simple human being, who used his gifts to connect with the masses yet never lost site of his heart. His tenderness, honesty, and devotion to his music, June, and eventually himself are clear and Phoenix is able to portray this by a reserved and endearing manner that captures the man he is portraying. Far too many films of this type are loaded with scenes of conflict, screaming, conflict and destruction that it was refreshing to see Johnny attempt to win June by stubbornness, and persistence yet never losing his easy going mannerisms despite being wracked by addiction.
Much has been made of the decision to let Phoenix and Witherspoon sing their parts rather than dub the voices. Unlike in the film “Ray” where Jaime Foxx had his singing dubbed over, the accurate and heartfelt interpretations of the songs only underscores the triumph and complexity of their performances.
Not just a good film but a great film, Walk the Line is an endearing and entertaining film that keeps you engrossed from start to finish. If you are not a fan of Johnny Cash when you see this film, at the least you will find a new found respect for this American Legend.
Thankfully in the film Walk the Line Writer Gil Dennis and Writer/Director James Mangold capture the very essence of The Man in Black. Unlike many biopics that focus on the rise and fall of an individual, Walk the Line strives to balance than man and his demons without losing the compassion of the character.
The film stars Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash, a man who rose from poverty in Dyess Arkansas to become on of the most beloved and enduring entertainers in history. Chronicling portions of his childhood, and the hardships he endured as well as his sting in the Air Force, we are shown things that helped shape the man he was to become. Shortly after his Air Force career, Johnny marries Vivian (Ginnifer Goodwin), and they start a family. Struggling to make ends meet as a door to door salesman, and facing pressure to take a job with her father in San Antonio Johnny manages to gain an audition for Sun Records in Nashville.
When told in the audition that his Gospel songs will not sell, Johnny instead performs one of his own compositions and earns a record contract. Before long, he and his band are on the road playing with the likes of Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis Presley, and June Carter (Reese Witherspoon). June who has been part of a singing family
as well as an object of admiration for Johnny since their childhoods soon becomes a friend to Johnny as he copes with rising fame and the pressures and temptations of life on the road.
As Johnny spends more and more time on the road, tensions between him and Vivian grow causing Johnny to delve deeper into the temptations that are available to him as a star. During this time, Johhny becomes obsessed with June, who wile attracted to Johnny has just come from a failed marriage and does not want to break up Johnny’s family. It is against this backdrop that the unusual courtship between the two begins. They spend time with one another on the road, they talk for hours on end, and even perform duets with one another on stage, yet Johnny’s love for June remains a source of frustration that only leads him deeper into his destructive behaviors.
While the addition that grips Johnny is a driving part of the film, the main focus of the story is the love between Johnny and June and their unusual courtship that survived despite marriages, addictions, denials, and their own insecurities. Phoenix and Witherspoon are amazing and give Oscar Caliber performances that are easily the best in recent years. Not only do they both convey the mannerisms of their flesh and blood counterparts, but they convey solid chemistry and compassion from the audience.
While one can say that Johnny was an adulterer and a drug addict, his gentle nature, compassion, and humanity are abundantly clear in the way he is portrayed by Phoenix. We do not see Cash as a stuck up rock star, we see him as a simple human being, who used his gifts to connect with the masses yet never lost site of his heart. His tenderness, honesty, and devotion to his music, June, and eventually himself are clear and Phoenix is able to portray this by a reserved and endearing manner that captures the man he is portraying. Far too many films of this type are loaded with scenes of conflict, screaming, conflict and destruction that it was refreshing to see Johnny attempt to win June by stubbornness, and persistence yet never losing his easy going mannerisms despite being wracked by addiction.
Much has been made of the decision to let Phoenix and Witherspoon sing their parts rather than dub the voices. Unlike in the film “Ray” where Jaime Foxx had his singing dubbed over, the accurate and heartfelt interpretations of the songs only underscores the triumph and complexity of their performances.
Not just a good film but a great film, Walk the Line is an endearing and entertaining film that keeps you engrossed from start to finish. If you are not a fan of Johnny Cash when you see this film, at the least you will find a new found respect for this American Legend.
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Dance of the Dead (2008) in Movies
Jun 18, 2019
Jimmy Dunn (Jared Kusnitz) never seems to take anything seriously. He likes to spend more time in detention than he does in class. So it’s no surprise that Lindsey (Greyson Chadwick), the girl Jimmy was going to take to prom, decides to not go with him after realizing that Jimmy has no ambition. To make matters worse, something weird is going on in the graveyard next to the nuclear power plant in town. The dead are walking and they’re headed to the prom. The town is now in the hands of the losers who couldn’t get dates to the prom. There goes the neighborhood and here comes the pain; that is something that is certainly meant in more ways than one.
This is the type of horror film you have the urge to turn off as soon as it starts. Written by Joe Ballarini (My Little Pony: The Movie) and directed by Gregg Bishop (the “Dante the Great” segment of V/H/S Viral), Dance of the Dead is a part of the eight films that made up Ghost House Underground; horror films from all over the world chosen by Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert supposedly representing a “fresh” perspective of the horror genre. The problem is that most people would seek out one of these films and then never bother with the rest because why would you torture yourself any further?
The first 20 or so minutes of the film revolve around high school melodrama and the prom. This is supposedly where you get accustomed to the film’s humor, but it’s mostly nothing more than high school kids being obnoxious and unbearable. The graveyard scene is where things get even worse. Zombies start rising from beyond the grave and decomposing hands start bursting through headstones since that makes more sense than soil. Emerging from the ground simply wasn’t enough either; these zombies explode from their graves with smoke and a loud crash. Moments later during the same sequence, there are zombies jumping several feet into the air out of the ground, landing on their feet, and running after these kids. If it sounds cool in the slightest, then this description isn’t doing this dumpster fire justice.
The zombies are all over the place in Dance of the Dead. They start off as the zombies that run similar to the zombies in Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake. Later on in the film, they stumble around and are slow like George Romero’s zombies. Even later after that, the zombies are running again while some attempt to speak, say, “Brains!” and then get in a car and drive off. Someone had pointed out that the zombies in the film who are fresh out of the ground run while older ones move slower, which only makes this turd milkshake slightly less nutty. Dance of the Dead also can’t decide what zombie films to pay homage to either. Return of the Living Dead has a massive influence, but the film clearly pays tribute to Night of the Living Dead when the kids reach a house and decide to board up all the windows and take shelter. It seems like the one consistent aspect this film has is to be inconsistent.
Did you know zombies can be held at bay solely by the power of rocking out? Three stoners in a band (a guitarist, a bassist, and a drummer) inadvertently discover that their music stops zombies in their tracks. A bit later in the film during the prom, the gymnasium is full of zombies. There’s music playing and it shows three zombies on stage playing musical instruments; a guitar, a bass, and a drum set. Fast forward a little more and the three stoners are back again playing their stoner rock and the zombies are back to being frozen during their performance. There’s no consistency when it comes to what they play or how it affects zombies.
“In extreme circumstances, the assailants can be stopped by removing the head or destroying the brain.” Do you remember this quote from Shaun of the Dead? Try to keep it in mind, especially the, “removing the head,” part. A guy gets his head torn off by a zombie and you’d think he’d be dead, but this actually turns his decapitated head into a zombie. He comes back later on; his headless corpse carrying his decapitated head around. It’s one thing to try and reinvent a genre, but when you have so many reinventions along with homage out to wazoo you’re basically throwing cow pies at a brick wall and seeing what sticks.
Zombies shouldn’t make out with each other. Vampires shouldn’t sparkle and Warm Bodies isn’t canon. Two students turn into zombies and still end up in a giant make out session after they’ve turned. The kiss turns awkward as they start chewing on each other mid-kiss. They start taking bites out of each other while they’re still sucking face. This is the scariest aspect of the film considering that maybe most of us don’t want our eyeballs chewed out of our skulls during something so intimate.
When the special effects aren’t being a complete eyesore from being so cheap and ugly, the gore in Dance of the Dead is decent. Blood splattering everywhere is pretty common throughout the film. The acting isn’t completely terrible either. It absolutely isn’t good by any means. Dance of the Dead is basically Degrassi with zombies and everything lame you’re expecting to tag along with that reference. Lucas Till (X-Men: First Class, MacGyver) has a brief cameo as one of the rockers in the film and he's probably the only cast member you'll recognize.
The jumbled mass of homage and redefining of zombie lore in Dance of the Dead throws a monkey wrench in calling the film stereotypical and cliché, but it certainly feels that way. It seems like a rejected, alternate, first draft of a film you’ve already seen rather than a film that attempts to stand on its own two legs. It may be fun for fans of campy horror films, but its originality is borderline offensive since Dance of the Dead seems to just combine everything you know about zombies or purposely does the opposite at an attempt at being a different chomp of undead horror. Unfortunately though, Dance of the Dead is too overwhelmingly absurd for its own good as its gore feels like the drunken antics of a washed up clown rather than a competent horror film.
Dance of the Dead is available to stream on Amazon Prime, YouTube, and Google Play for $1.99, Vudu for $2.99, and iTunes for $5.99. The DVD is $7.72 on Amazon while the Blu-ray (which is Region 2 only) is $25.52 from a third party seller. The DVD is $7.49 in new condition and with free shipping on eBay or $4 with $2.99 shipping pre-owned. If you enjoy terrible things, the eight disc set of all the Ghost House Underground titles are available as a boxed set on Amazon for $179.74 and on eBay for $39.99 in brand new condition and with free shipping.
This is the type of horror film you have the urge to turn off as soon as it starts. Written by Joe Ballarini (My Little Pony: The Movie) and directed by Gregg Bishop (the “Dante the Great” segment of V/H/S Viral), Dance of the Dead is a part of the eight films that made up Ghost House Underground; horror films from all over the world chosen by Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert supposedly representing a “fresh” perspective of the horror genre. The problem is that most people would seek out one of these films and then never bother with the rest because why would you torture yourself any further?
The first 20 or so minutes of the film revolve around high school melodrama and the prom. This is supposedly where you get accustomed to the film’s humor, but it’s mostly nothing more than high school kids being obnoxious and unbearable. The graveyard scene is where things get even worse. Zombies start rising from beyond the grave and decomposing hands start bursting through headstones since that makes more sense than soil. Emerging from the ground simply wasn’t enough either; these zombies explode from their graves with smoke and a loud crash. Moments later during the same sequence, there are zombies jumping several feet into the air out of the ground, landing on their feet, and running after these kids. If it sounds cool in the slightest, then this description isn’t doing this dumpster fire justice.
The zombies are all over the place in Dance of the Dead. They start off as the zombies that run similar to the zombies in Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake. Later on in the film, they stumble around and are slow like George Romero’s zombies. Even later after that, the zombies are running again while some attempt to speak, say, “Brains!” and then get in a car and drive off. Someone had pointed out that the zombies in the film who are fresh out of the ground run while older ones move slower, which only makes this turd milkshake slightly less nutty. Dance of the Dead also can’t decide what zombie films to pay homage to either. Return of the Living Dead has a massive influence, but the film clearly pays tribute to Night of the Living Dead when the kids reach a house and decide to board up all the windows and take shelter. It seems like the one consistent aspect this film has is to be inconsistent.
Did you know zombies can be held at bay solely by the power of rocking out? Three stoners in a band (a guitarist, a bassist, and a drummer) inadvertently discover that their music stops zombies in their tracks. A bit later in the film during the prom, the gymnasium is full of zombies. There’s music playing and it shows three zombies on stage playing musical instruments; a guitar, a bass, and a drum set. Fast forward a little more and the three stoners are back again playing their stoner rock and the zombies are back to being frozen during their performance. There’s no consistency when it comes to what they play or how it affects zombies.
“In extreme circumstances, the assailants can be stopped by removing the head or destroying the brain.” Do you remember this quote from Shaun of the Dead? Try to keep it in mind, especially the, “removing the head,” part. A guy gets his head torn off by a zombie and you’d think he’d be dead, but this actually turns his decapitated head into a zombie. He comes back later on; his headless corpse carrying his decapitated head around. It’s one thing to try and reinvent a genre, but when you have so many reinventions along with homage out to wazoo you’re basically throwing cow pies at a brick wall and seeing what sticks.
Zombies shouldn’t make out with each other. Vampires shouldn’t sparkle and Warm Bodies isn’t canon. Two students turn into zombies and still end up in a giant make out session after they’ve turned. The kiss turns awkward as they start chewing on each other mid-kiss. They start taking bites out of each other while they’re still sucking face. This is the scariest aspect of the film considering that maybe most of us don’t want our eyeballs chewed out of our skulls during something so intimate.
When the special effects aren’t being a complete eyesore from being so cheap and ugly, the gore in Dance of the Dead is decent. Blood splattering everywhere is pretty common throughout the film. The acting isn’t completely terrible either. It absolutely isn’t good by any means. Dance of the Dead is basically Degrassi with zombies and everything lame you’re expecting to tag along with that reference. Lucas Till (X-Men: First Class, MacGyver) has a brief cameo as one of the rockers in the film and he's probably the only cast member you'll recognize.
The jumbled mass of homage and redefining of zombie lore in Dance of the Dead throws a monkey wrench in calling the film stereotypical and cliché, but it certainly feels that way. It seems like a rejected, alternate, first draft of a film you’ve already seen rather than a film that attempts to stand on its own two legs. It may be fun for fans of campy horror films, but its originality is borderline offensive since Dance of the Dead seems to just combine everything you know about zombies or purposely does the opposite at an attempt at being a different chomp of undead horror. Unfortunately though, Dance of the Dead is too overwhelmingly absurd for its own good as its gore feels like the drunken antics of a washed up clown rather than a competent horror film.
Dance of the Dead is available to stream on Amazon Prime, YouTube, and Google Play for $1.99, Vudu for $2.99, and iTunes for $5.99. The DVD is $7.72 on Amazon while the Blu-ray (which is Region 2 only) is $25.52 from a third party seller. The DVD is $7.49 in new condition and with free shipping on eBay or $4 with $2.99 shipping pre-owned. If you enjoy terrible things, the eight disc set of all the Ghost House Underground titles are available as a boxed set on Amazon for $179.74 and on eBay for $39.99 in brand new condition and with free shipping.
Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Who Built The Moon? by Noel Gallagher / Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds in Music
Nov 28, 2017 (Updated Nov 28, 2017)
A new direction from Noel (1 more)
Some unexpectedly bold creative choices are made
A Breath Of Fresh Air
Who Built The Moon? was released on Friday 24/11/17 and has already proved to be the most divisive album that Noel has ever been a part of. I personally love it. I think if Noel had dropped another record in the now expected style of the first two HFB's records, we would be rolling our eyes. Instead he is trying something new, a bold step for a man of 50 who has been making music publicly for the last quarter of a century.
Working with notorious industry producer, David Holmes, this record possesses a whole new sound for Noel, his lyrics and vocals are obviously instantly recognisable, but the instrumentation and production on the record is like something we have never heard him do before. Now it's all well and good trying something new, but is it any good? Well, it is actually.
The record opens with a stomping instrumental called Fort Knox. A track reminiscent of George Harrison meets the Gorillaz, that you can't help but at least nod along to. This isn't the first time that Noel has opened a record with an instrumental, (2000's Standing On The Shoulders of Giants opened with Fuckin' In The Bushes,) but I think it may be his best instrumental to date.
Next up is the record's lead single; Holy Mountain. This track carries on the pace set by Fort Knox and contains elements of Slade and Bowie to boot. Much has already been said about the comparison to She Bangs, but it doesn't bother me, this is a fantastic song and I feel like it was a solid choice for the album's first single. Having Paul Weller playing the organ on it doesn't hurt much either.
Following this is one of my favourite songs on the record, Keep On Reaching. I actually heard Noel talking about this song in an interview before I heard the track itself and from what he was describing, I didn't think I was going to care for it. Well my preconceptions were whacked away once I got around to listening to the track. Absolutely brilliant song that feels uplifting and triumphant.
The next song is called It's A Beautiful World and I have to admit I found it to be a bit of a grower. I first heard the track played live on Jools Holland and didn't love it, then I heard the album track and liked it a bit more, then I listened to it again and wasn't feeling it as much. Now six or seven listens later, I love this song. There are a few odd choices made here and I can understand why people would initially be put off, but I think this track works perfectly, especially within the context of the rest of the album.
After this we hear She Taught Me How To Fly, which is probably my least favourite track on the record. Again though I have to admit that this has grown on me since I first heard it. Hearing it live for the first time on Jools Holland, combined with seeing that scissor player for the first time was a bit much for me and to be honest I really wasn't a fan of the track. While I still don't love the track, I do enjoy it within the context of the album and I much prefer it now to when I initially heard it.
Track six is called Be Careful What You Wish For and for me, it falls into the same category as She Taught Me How To Fly, in that it is good, but not great. I'd say that these two songs are definitely the 'filler' section of the album. On any other record, these songs would be highlights, but on a Noel Gallagher record, they only qualify as filler in my opinion. They do add to the album as a whole though and are absolutely necessary if you are looking to experience the album all the way through from start to finish, which is also definitely the best way to experience this album.
The record picks up again with Black & White Sunshine. A roaring rock n' roll stomper that definitely sounds the most like Oasis over anything else on the album. The song's upbeat tone and slightly melancholy lyrics match up with Noel's signature writing style and it works just as well here as it did in the Oasis days. It's nice to hear something that feels slightly more familiar in amongst all of the other more experimental stuff on this record.
After hearing Fort Knox, I was really excited to hear the other instrumental on this album, Wednesday - Part 1. Unfortunately it's nowhere near as good as Fort Knox and it's been split into two parts. It's still a decently enjoyable piece of music that helps the album plod along into it's final stretch, but if like me you were hoping this to be just as good as Fort Knox, you will be left disappointed.
Next up is what is perhaps my favourite track on the record; If Love Is The Law. This glorious banger of a tune adds so much to the record overall and sounds mega through a good set of headphones. Johnny Marr's unmistakable guitar playing works awesomely on this track, as does his harmonica work. The lyrics are top notch, Noel's voice sounds great and it is a brilliant tune from start to finish.
The last official track on the album is the title track, The Man Who Built the Moon. This song tells the story of a cowboy full of regrets, using all sorts of interesting metaphors it is definitely the most narrative track on the album. The tone of the song slightly reminds me of The Ballad Of The Mighty I, the closing track from Noel's last record. It is a great song and works fantastically as a way to end this record.
Lastly we have Wednesday - Part 2, which is simply a continuation of Wednesday - Part 1, not much else to say here really.
Finally, we have a bonus track called Dead In The Water. This was recorded live during a session Noel did on an Irish radio station while promoting his previous album. Noel apparently didn't even know he was being recorded at the time while he was singing, which I think makes this song even more special. Allegedly, David Holmes was reluctant to put this on the record, as he felt it was out of place with the rest of the songs on the record, but I am so glad that Noel convinced him otherwise. Noel's voice here, sounds pure and frankly astonishing and the lyrics are fantastic too. The tone sounds similar to Talk Tonight and it is definitely one of the album's best moments.
The one gripe I have about this album, is that while this is a fresh new direction for Noel, it's not a style that hasn't been done before by other bands and arguably been done better. The Gorillaz' records or any of the late Beatles albums serve as a good example of this. Then again, Noel is well known from 'borrowing,' song elements from other artists, so maybe this is as original as it gets for him and we should be grateful for that.
Regardless, as a long time Oasis, (and particularly Noel Gallagher,) fan, I am glad that Noel is doing something new. I am also glad that with both Gallagher brothers now producing music, we won't be getting two extremely similar sounding albums. This is exciting for Oasis fans and can maybe serve as a step forward for fans who are still stuck in the past, in finally getting over their favourite band breaking up - it only took 8 years.
Working with notorious industry producer, David Holmes, this record possesses a whole new sound for Noel, his lyrics and vocals are obviously instantly recognisable, but the instrumentation and production on the record is like something we have never heard him do before. Now it's all well and good trying something new, but is it any good? Well, it is actually.
The record opens with a stomping instrumental called Fort Knox. A track reminiscent of George Harrison meets the Gorillaz, that you can't help but at least nod along to. This isn't the first time that Noel has opened a record with an instrumental, (2000's Standing On The Shoulders of Giants opened with Fuckin' In The Bushes,) but I think it may be his best instrumental to date.
Next up is the record's lead single; Holy Mountain. This track carries on the pace set by Fort Knox and contains elements of Slade and Bowie to boot. Much has already been said about the comparison to She Bangs, but it doesn't bother me, this is a fantastic song and I feel like it was a solid choice for the album's first single. Having Paul Weller playing the organ on it doesn't hurt much either.
Following this is one of my favourite songs on the record, Keep On Reaching. I actually heard Noel talking about this song in an interview before I heard the track itself and from what he was describing, I didn't think I was going to care for it. Well my preconceptions were whacked away once I got around to listening to the track. Absolutely brilliant song that feels uplifting and triumphant.
The next song is called It's A Beautiful World and I have to admit I found it to be a bit of a grower. I first heard the track played live on Jools Holland and didn't love it, then I heard the album track and liked it a bit more, then I listened to it again and wasn't feeling it as much. Now six or seven listens later, I love this song. There are a few odd choices made here and I can understand why people would initially be put off, but I think this track works perfectly, especially within the context of the rest of the album.
After this we hear She Taught Me How To Fly, which is probably my least favourite track on the record. Again though I have to admit that this has grown on me since I first heard it. Hearing it live for the first time on Jools Holland, combined with seeing that scissor player for the first time was a bit much for me and to be honest I really wasn't a fan of the track. While I still don't love the track, I do enjoy it within the context of the album and I much prefer it now to when I initially heard it.
Track six is called Be Careful What You Wish For and for me, it falls into the same category as She Taught Me How To Fly, in that it is good, but not great. I'd say that these two songs are definitely the 'filler' section of the album. On any other record, these songs would be highlights, but on a Noel Gallagher record, they only qualify as filler in my opinion. They do add to the album as a whole though and are absolutely necessary if you are looking to experience the album all the way through from start to finish, which is also definitely the best way to experience this album.
The record picks up again with Black & White Sunshine. A roaring rock n' roll stomper that definitely sounds the most like Oasis over anything else on the album. The song's upbeat tone and slightly melancholy lyrics match up with Noel's signature writing style and it works just as well here as it did in the Oasis days. It's nice to hear something that feels slightly more familiar in amongst all of the other more experimental stuff on this record.
After hearing Fort Knox, I was really excited to hear the other instrumental on this album, Wednesday - Part 1. Unfortunately it's nowhere near as good as Fort Knox and it's been split into two parts. It's still a decently enjoyable piece of music that helps the album plod along into it's final stretch, but if like me you were hoping this to be just as good as Fort Knox, you will be left disappointed.
Next up is what is perhaps my favourite track on the record; If Love Is The Law. This glorious banger of a tune adds so much to the record overall and sounds mega through a good set of headphones. Johnny Marr's unmistakable guitar playing works awesomely on this track, as does his harmonica work. The lyrics are top notch, Noel's voice sounds great and it is a brilliant tune from start to finish.
The last official track on the album is the title track, The Man Who Built the Moon. This song tells the story of a cowboy full of regrets, using all sorts of interesting metaphors it is definitely the most narrative track on the album. The tone of the song slightly reminds me of The Ballad Of The Mighty I, the closing track from Noel's last record. It is a great song and works fantastically as a way to end this record.
Lastly we have Wednesday - Part 2, which is simply a continuation of Wednesday - Part 1, not much else to say here really.
Finally, we have a bonus track called Dead In The Water. This was recorded live during a session Noel did on an Irish radio station while promoting his previous album. Noel apparently didn't even know he was being recorded at the time while he was singing, which I think makes this song even more special. Allegedly, David Holmes was reluctant to put this on the record, as he felt it was out of place with the rest of the songs on the record, but I am so glad that Noel convinced him otherwise. Noel's voice here, sounds pure and frankly astonishing and the lyrics are fantastic too. The tone sounds similar to Talk Tonight and it is definitely one of the album's best moments.
The one gripe I have about this album, is that while this is a fresh new direction for Noel, it's not a style that hasn't been done before by other bands and arguably been done better. The Gorillaz' records or any of the late Beatles albums serve as a good example of this. Then again, Noel is well known from 'borrowing,' song elements from other artists, so maybe this is as original as it gets for him and we should be grateful for that.
Regardless, as a long time Oasis, (and particularly Noel Gallagher,) fan, I am glad that Noel is doing something new. I am also glad that with both Gallagher brothers now producing music, we won't be getting two extremely similar sounding albums. This is exciting for Oasis fans and can maybe serve as a step forward for fans who are still stuck in the past, in finally getting over their favourite band breaking up - it only took 8 years.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Festival! in Tabletop Games
Nov 24, 2020
Remember music festivals, or concerts of any kind? I most certainly do. I used to perform almost every weekend with my band pre-COVID. Well, I haven’t performed in over eight months as of this writing. I miss it so much. So when I heard that a designer was working on a game about musicians putting on music festivals I just had to check it out.
Festival! is a competitive set collection game for larger groups, three to seven players. It is set in a medieval kingdom and the game lasts for four festivals. During the game players will be collecting sets of cards to be scored immediately and collecting other cards to be scored at the game’s end.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, but give an idea of how the game plays. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the forthcoming Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
To setup, place the board in the middle of the table. Each player chooses a color of pawn to represent them and places one pawn on the 0 space upon the scoring track and the other pawn in the Festival! area upon the board. The game comes with four different types of cards and each type will be shuffled and placed face-down in stacks as in the photo below. Place the festival marker on either the 0 or 4 space (the rules are not clear, but it is to track the number of festivals, so just choose one) and give the first player busteeple to the youngest player. The game may now begin.
Festival! is played over several turns, but the first three turns will see players taking turns to travel to the different areas of the board and collect cards once they arrive. The initial Festival! area is located between the City and Village areas so a player can choose to move their pawn into either of those areas. As is printed on the board areas themselves, when players arrive in the Country they will immediately draw three Ensemble (green) cards to their hand and their turn is over. A trip to the Village affords the player two Ensemble cards to be drawn, while a visit to the City will allow a player to either draw one Ensemble card OR play as many cards from their hand as they choose. Finally, should the player’s wanderlust urge them to the Palace, they may draw a Palace card to be played to their tableau immediately. Movement from one area to the next is always done to the adjacent area. So if in the Village a player may only move to either the Country or the City. If in the Country a player may only move to the Village.
As I mentioned, the first three turns are head start rounds where players are merely collecting cards to amass a hand (of limit 7) of cards that can be played in sets in their personal tableau. These cards are divided into Exotic, Percussion, Melodic, and Choir cards. Players may play as many cards as they like when in the City, but will score bonus set and superset points if they are able to lay down multiple unique cards in each group. For example, a Horn card is worth one VP alone, but with three other unique Melodic cards earns bonus points for the entire set.
After the first three turns have been played, the first player will then flip a Festival card (stacked on the game board) at the beginning of each turn. It is from this stack that the four “Festival!” cards are located, and they are the time trackers for the game. If the result is “Preparation,” the turns continue as normal with no change. However, should the flipped card be a “Festival!” face, then players within range of the Festival Stages may claim a stage and participate in the festival. Participation in the festival simply means that players may play cards as normally played in the City, but then are entitled to one of the drawn Finale cards. These cards are scored at the end of the game and typically award bonus points for various reasons.
Play continues in this fashion of traveling the board areas to collect cards, performing in festivals, and earning the most amount of VP at game end, which is immediately following the fourth festival. The player with the most VP is the winner!
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game, so the components may be different upon completion of a successful Kickstarter campaign. What we were provided, however, is a good-looking, though muted, game board, a ton of cards, and some painted wooden tokens. The tokens are fine, and I am sure will look different once the game is finalized. The cards are good, an interesting dimension, and the art upon them is good and simple. In fact, the cards’ art remind me of several computer icon sets, specifically Shadow or Sardi (though I use Sweet-Rainbow).
But how does it play? Okay, every time I get a new game I always play it solo multi-handed. During this initial play I had several questions for the designer about scenarios and other oddities that were not covered in the rulebook. He graciously, and immediately, answered my questions and the next play through ran quite smoothly. So I am sure the rulebook will be tweaked quite a bit before final production.
Once I was playing the right way the game ran smoothly and quickly. I found myself planning my turn in advance, however your success truly is dependent on the cards you draw. Ensemble cards are just the instruments, voices, and Minstrel (wild) cards, while the Palace cards are the rule-breaking fun cards. They allow increased travel, protection from certain cards in the deck, and other goodies I won’t spoil here. So having a nice collection of Palace cards can alleviate a lot of the random card draw issues that will plague players who refuse to grab the Palace cards. As I played more and more I found that I generally follow one strategy, but have to switch up tactics depending on my card draws. This is good and okay (not “bad”). Going in with a plan of attack is great, and being able to become flexible mid-game is enjoyable.
Overall this one is surprising to me because I was initially frustrated with the vague rulebook, but once I truly knew the real rules and how everything played together I found a real fondness for it. Festival! will probably never make it close to my Top 10 Games of All Time list, but for larger groups who are tiring of the hidden traitor or social deduction games, this one is a breath of fresh air. It can handle up to seven players, and is an easier teach than many other games for mid-to-large groups.
So if you are looking for something different for a weird player count, and you need some more medieval rock star games in your collection please check out Festival!. (Do I need the period there or am I covered with the exclamation point from the title of the game? I was not an English major.) I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how this unassuming set collection game (with aspects of take-that which I did not explore here) will perform. I am looking forward to following the Kickstarter campaign set to launch in Spring 2021, so keep it on your radars, people.
Festival! is a competitive set collection game for larger groups, three to seven players. It is set in a medieval kingdom and the game lasts for four festivals. During the game players will be collecting sets of cards to be scored immediately and collecting other cards to be scored at the game’s end.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, but give an idea of how the game plays. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the forthcoming Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
To setup, place the board in the middle of the table. Each player chooses a color of pawn to represent them and places one pawn on the 0 space upon the scoring track and the other pawn in the Festival! area upon the board. The game comes with four different types of cards and each type will be shuffled and placed face-down in stacks as in the photo below. Place the festival marker on either the 0 or 4 space (the rules are not clear, but it is to track the number of festivals, so just choose one) and give the first player busteeple to the youngest player. The game may now begin.
Festival! is played over several turns, but the first three turns will see players taking turns to travel to the different areas of the board and collect cards once they arrive. The initial Festival! area is located between the City and Village areas so a player can choose to move their pawn into either of those areas. As is printed on the board areas themselves, when players arrive in the Country they will immediately draw three Ensemble (green) cards to their hand and their turn is over. A trip to the Village affords the player two Ensemble cards to be drawn, while a visit to the City will allow a player to either draw one Ensemble card OR play as many cards from their hand as they choose. Finally, should the player’s wanderlust urge them to the Palace, they may draw a Palace card to be played to their tableau immediately. Movement from one area to the next is always done to the adjacent area. So if in the Village a player may only move to either the Country or the City. If in the Country a player may only move to the Village.
As I mentioned, the first three turns are head start rounds where players are merely collecting cards to amass a hand (of limit 7) of cards that can be played in sets in their personal tableau. These cards are divided into Exotic, Percussion, Melodic, and Choir cards. Players may play as many cards as they like when in the City, but will score bonus set and superset points if they are able to lay down multiple unique cards in each group. For example, a Horn card is worth one VP alone, but with three other unique Melodic cards earns bonus points for the entire set.
After the first three turns have been played, the first player will then flip a Festival card (stacked on the game board) at the beginning of each turn. It is from this stack that the four “Festival!” cards are located, and they are the time trackers for the game. If the result is “Preparation,” the turns continue as normal with no change. However, should the flipped card be a “Festival!” face, then players within range of the Festival Stages may claim a stage and participate in the festival. Participation in the festival simply means that players may play cards as normally played in the City, but then are entitled to one of the drawn Finale cards. These cards are scored at the end of the game and typically award bonus points for various reasons.
Play continues in this fashion of traveling the board areas to collect cards, performing in festivals, and earning the most amount of VP at game end, which is immediately following the fourth festival. The player with the most VP is the winner!
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game, so the components may be different upon completion of a successful Kickstarter campaign. What we were provided, however, is a good-looking, though muted, game board, a ton of cards, and some painted wooden tokens. The tokens are fine, and I am sure will look different once the game is finalized. The cards are good, an interesting dimension, and the art upon them is good and simple. In fact, the cards’ art remind me of several computer icon sets, specifically Shadow or Sardi (though I use Sweet-Rainbow).
But how does it play? Okay, every time I get a new game I always play it solo multi-handed. During this initial play I had several questions for the designer about scenarios and other oddities that were not covered in the rulebook. He graciously, and immediately, answered my questions and the next play through ran quite smoothly. So I am sure the rulebook will be tweaked quite a bit before final production.
Once I was playing the right way the game ran smoothly and quickly. I found myself planning my turn in advance, however your success truly is dependent on the cards you draw. Ensemble cards are just the instruments, voices, and Minstrel (wild) cards, while the Palace cards are the rule-breaking fun cards. They allow increased travel, protection from certain cards in the deck, and other goodies I won’t spoil here. So having a nice collection of Palace cards can alleviate a lot of the random card draw issues that will plague players who refuse to grab the Palace cards. As I played more and more I found that I generally follow one strategy, but have to switch up tactics depending on my card draws. This is good and okay (not “bad”). Going in with a plan of attack is great, and being able to become flexible mid-game is enjoyable.
Overall this one is surprising to me because I was initially frustrated with the vague rulebook, but once I truly knew the real rules and how everything played together I found a real fondness for it. Festival! will probably never make it close to my Top 10 Games of All Time list, but for larger groups who are tiring of the hidden traitor or social deduction games, this one is a breath of fresh air. It can handle up to seven players, and is an easier teach than many other games for mid-to-large groups.
So if you are looking for something different for a weird player count, and you need some more medieval rock star games in your collection please check out Festival!. (Do I need the period there or am I covered with the exclamation point from the title of the game? I was not an English major.) I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how this unassuming set collection game (with aspects of take-that which I did not explore here) will perform. I am looking forward to following the Kickstarter campaign set to launch in Spring 2021, so keep it on your radars, people.
5 Minute Movie Guy (379 KP) rated If I Stay (2014) in Movies
Jun 28, 2019
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. That’s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that she’s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, she’s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether it’s really even worth it to endure life’s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.
Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.
Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.
First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.
If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.
(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)
Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.
Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.
First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.
If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.
(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)