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Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
2016 | Fantasy
Marvelous Cash Cows and How to Milk Them.
As just about everyone in the whole muggle world (or nomaj world if you’re reading this in the States) knows, FBaWtFT is the first of a five film spin-off series from the Potter franchise, still under the careful stewardship of David Yates. (And if the other films in the series were ‘amber-lit’ rather than ‘green-lit’, their production now seems assured after the US opening weekend alone has brought in nearly half its $180 million budget).
Set in New York in the mid-1920’s Eddie Redmayne (“The Danish Girl”; “The Theory of Everything”) plays Newt Scamander, a Brit newly arrived with a case full of trouble. Newt is a bit like an amiable and ditsy David Attenborough, with a strong desire to protect and establish breeding colonies for endangered species. It’s fair to say though that these are creatures that even Sir David hasn’t yet filmed.

Within the battered old case (a forerunner of Hermione Grainger’s bag, which was probably borrowed from Mary Poppins), Newt stores a menagerie of strange and wonderful creatures which – after a bump and a mishap – get released by wannabe baker and muggle Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler, “Fanboys”). Newt has the job of rounding up the strays with the help of Tina (Katherine Waterston, “Steve Jobs”), an out of favour member of the Magical Congress of the USA (MACUSA). Unfortunately this couldn’t be happening at a worse time: something else – nothing to do with Newt – is wreaking havoc across New York and MACUSA is on red alert suspecting the involvement of a dark wizard, Gellert Grindelwald, following attacks in Europe. And keeping the secrets of wizardry from the NoMaj population is getting increasingly difficult, especially with the efforts of the “Second Salemers” movement run by Mary Lou (Samantha Morton, “Minority Report”) and her strange adopted family.

This film will obviously be an enormous success given the love of all things Potter, but is it any good? Well, its different for sure, being set many years before Potter and only having glancing references to Hogwarts and related matters. And that gives the opportunity to start afresh with new characters and new relationships which is refreshing. It’s all perfectly amiable, with Redmayne’s slightly embarrassed lack of eye-contact* in delivering his lines being charming. [* Is this perhaps the second leading character in a month that is high on the autistic spectrum?] . Redmayne does have a tendency to mutter though and (particularly with the sound system for the cinema I saw this in) this made a lot of his dialogue inaudible. Waterston makes for a charming if somewhat insipid heroine, not being given an awful lot to do in the action sequences.

Kowalski adds a humorous balance to the mixture, but the star comic turns are some of the creatures, especially the Niffler… a light fingered magpie-like creature with a voluminous pouch and expensive tastes!

In the ‘I-almost-know-who-that-is-behind-the-make-up-but-can’t-quite-place-him’ role is Ron “Hellboy” Perlman as the untrustworthy gangster Gnarlack. And in another cameo – and probably paid an enormous fee for his 30 seconds of screen time – is Johnny Depp, which was money well-wasted since, like most of his roles, he was completely unrecognisable (I only knew it was him from checking imdb afterwards).

At the pen is J.K.Rowling herself, and there are a few corking lines in the script. However, in common with many of her novels, there is also a tendency for extrapolation and padding. Some judicial editing could have knocked at least twenty minutes off its child-unfriendly 133 minute running time and made a better film. Undoubtedly the first half of the film is better than the second, with the finale slouching into – as my other half put it – “superhero” territory with much CGI destruction and smashing of glass. What is perhaps most surprising about the story is that there are few obvious set-ups for the next film.

Quirky and original, its a film that will no-doubt please Potter fans and it stands as a decent fantasy film in its own right. It’s difficult though to get the smell of big business and exploitation out of your nostrils: no doubt stockings throughout the world will be full of plush toy nifflers this Christmas.
  
Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Make up (0 more)
Acting (0 more)
It all looked soooo promising
Contains spoilers, click to show
Let me say this upfront; David Harbour looks f---ing boss as Hellboy. The makeup is far superior to that of Ron Perlman, not that there was anything wrong with Ron Perlman’s, but with this new incarnation it’s all in the eyes. Deep red, sunken, pained. Sadly, that is all I can say about this movie that is one hundred percent genuinely positive. There are positives however, but they come with a big ‘however’.
I was initially a little concerned that we were getting a re-boot and not a direct sequel to Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), especially as it still seemed so recent and was so well made. I know it was over a decade ago but quality is timeless, yeah? Then David Harbour was cast and Neil Marshall announced as director. Great, thought I, an actor I like and a director who’s put out some solid genre material. I saw the first picture of Harbour as Hellboy and I was genuinely excited. I saw the trailer and again, excited. Then I watched the film.
Eurgh, where to start?
Firstly, Ian McShane’s initial voice over is clunky and ill fitting, then they throw in some b@llocks about King Arthur and Excalibur. I had my first wobble here, as some of the effects seemed less than special.
Cue opening titles.
The film starts with a Mexican wrestling match that is purely exposition to let us know Hellboy is a hard drinking and hard fighting anti-hero working for an organisation that deals with the paranormal. The make up for his vampiric opponent is also great (can’t fault the makeup department), but the scene seemed superfluous. We get the nubbin of the story forming now; some horrible witchy wench from way back when was cut into bits and flung around jolly old England to prevent her from spreading a right ‘orrible plague. Turns out a potty-mouthed Liverpudlian pig-monster is collecting said bits in the hope of putting her back together in exchange for his normal appearance. Scouse pig-monster is quite entertaining.
Hellboy goes to England at the request of an upper-class paranormal society to help them kill giants; this goes t1ts up. Again, this seems like unnecessary exposition to introduce Alice, a medium who he rescued as a baby, who now rescues him in a transit van. We also get introduced to M11’s Agent Daimio. There something wrong with him, he keeps injecting himself with a serum to stop something happening. I knew at this point we’d get to see what it was eventually, probably at a juncture where something is needed to rescue someone important. However, at this point I had a feeling it would be bad, I just didn’t know how bad.
There some more fighting, some good effects, some mediocre effects and some terrible effects. There’s some good one-liners, there’s some dull and/or terrible dialogue and then we get the film’s conclusion.
There’s something I’ve been putting off mentioning as I didn’t want the entire review to be about it, and it could have been; the witchy wench at the heart of all this paranormal consternation, Nimue, is played by Milla Jovovich and she is terrible. From when she first opens her mouth to her predictable demise, she is terrible. Terrible. TERRIBLE.
I love some of the Resident Evil films but all she’s required to do is some slow-motion scissor kicks and shoot zombies and zombie-dogs in the face. She is tolerated, rather than enjoyed. Here she is emoting, or at least I think that’s what she was going for, and as a depiction of an evil entity bent of the destruction of all mankind, she is, for want of a better word, cack.
David Harbour and the Hellboy franchise deserve better than this. To be blunt, the franchise has better than this and Mike Mignola should be a bit more f---ing precious with his creation.
Hellboy (2004) was genuinely exciting; it was an origin story that bought that story full circle for its thrilling and apocalyptical conclusion. It has a wonderful nemesis, great support and breath-taking visuals. The re-tread of the origin story in Hellboy (2019) is, again, one more unnecessary diversion from a sketchy plot, which, for all its meagre bones takes a f-ck load of time to tell.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) was equally impressive. It also introduced a fully formed community of creatures and customs hiding alongside mankind. It did so with nonchalant aplomb. Nothing seemed irrelevant or forced. For two films with almost identical running times, Hellboy (2019) tells less of a story with way more waffle.
So, I did mention there were some positives. David Harbour is great. He’s dour, sarcastic, defiant and funny, he just has no engaging story in which to be all those things. Ian McShane is good as the father figure but he is overshadowed by memories of the late, unbelievably great John Hurt. The story of a witch trying to destroy mankind is solid fantasy movie gold and the unleashing of her plague late in the final act is suitably hellish; bizarre demons emerging from city streets and tearing humans limb from limb, it’s bloody wonderful and wonderfully bloody. They all could have come straight out of a Clive Barker fever dream. However, it’s too little too late, by this point in the story we’ve had too many cutaways, too much shoddy CGI, and Agent Daimio stinking up many a scene with his ‘will he won’t he’ turn into something rubbish… he does.
The worst part of all this is I don’t know if they can come back from this. The film may have sunk the franchise at least for the next few years.
I do however, look forward to a re-boot in a decade or so, if we haven’t all been assimilated by aliens, overrun by AI robots or decimated by a supernatural plague bought on by some witchy wench with an axe to grind.

THREE WORD SUMMATION: Big Red Turd.
  
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Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies

Jun 22, 2019 (Updated Sep 25, 2019)  
Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Open, black and white apart from Nimue's red dress.
Production notes: Try and make it noir-esque, but we need it done quickly so don't be too bothered by any of the class that goes with it.

As openings go it summed up the backstory quite nicely and Ian McShane's voiceover was good, but despite all of that it wasn't saved from it being quite badly shot.

I didn't want to start this review by moaning, but it's nearly impossible as there's a lot to moan about. I think I'm going to get it all out of the way now and then move on.

That CGI... at one point I wrote down that it was Harry Potter bad, I'm talking Voldemort on the back of the head bad. I'm trying to think of an obvious effect where it was actually good but I'm drawing a blank. Gruagach, our pig-demon-thing, looked like he was wearing a Halloween mask, but had it been real life I suspect it would look better.

Generally the creature effects are terrible, I was briefly hopeful for the giants but then the fight started and things got progressively worse. The blood was a particularly bad offering. I was particularly annoyed with this scene because the bits where Hellboy is thrown around were actually quite good and with a little work it could have been amazing.

Major Ben Daimio, played by Daniel Dae Kim, also got some punishing CGI for his transformation, unfortunately the negativity doesn't stop there. I just couldn't understand what that accent was about... I just... what the... ugh.

He's not the only character that's treated badly. Alice has so much potential in her but it isn't until the end that she discovers what she's really capable of. I can't help but think that they could have used her more to boost the movie.

David Harbour as Hellboy doesn't have me convinced. he's got the laid back attitude and some of the banter that the part needs, but there was a spark missing for me. Perhaps he was slightly more horizontal than laid back.

Quite possibly the best scene in the movie is right at the end when we see the group back together briefly. This scene was so well done that I was a little irritated they didn't manage to replicate that earlier in the film.

Hellboy is probably too long, there are definitely pieces to cut out. As much as I love her, Big Mo has to go, I'd also cut out Baba Yaga. The effects were overly creepy and the scenes added hardly anything apart from what felt like an obvious set up for a sequel.

The story overall isn't that bad, I like the origin of Hellboy, although baby Hellboy felt a lot like they'd taken the Ally McBeal baby and painted it red. I also liked the fact that they didn't let him instantly take the easy route to victory, that really worked in his favour.

I've realised at this point that I haven't really mentioned Nimue. She's one of the main villains, I probably should have talked about her by now but apart from the assembly scene she's not overly memorable, much like most of the other bad guys.

As a last passing note I want to mention the music. I noticed it a lot and it was frequently very good, it certainly helped the transition scenes. I probably would have turned the volume down a bit, but it was a great selection so I don't think it's too much of a problem.

I should probably stop waffling at this point. Despite what has amounted to a lot of moaning and griping Hellboy wasn't a waste of my time. I know lots of you are going to disagree with me on that point. To be entertaining given all of those faults I nitpicked was a great achievement. It delivers on daft action and sometimes that's all I need to have an amusing time at the cinema. We probably just need to keep our fingers crossed for better effects if they come out with a sequel.

What you should do

I would go and see it at the cinema if I were you. If you can get past the fact it isn't Ron Perlman and there's a severe lack of kittens then you're bound to have some fun.

Movie thing you wish you could take home

Some spirit powers would be quite fun, minus the vomiting part.
  
Pacific Rim (2013)
Pacific Rim (2013)
2013 | Action, Fantasy, Sci-Fi
“Today, we are cancelling the apocalypse” barks Idris Elba’s Stacker Pentecost in the trailer for Pacific Rim, but it’s over 90 minutes in when you finally hear him utter that attention grabbing phrase in a movie so big, it will make your head spin. But is it worth the migraine?

In short, the answer is yes. Director Guillermo del Toro has created a monster movie that utilises themes from many other ‘classic’ films, giving it an old fashioned feel, whilst still making it incredibly fresh and unique.

The story is simple, but don’t let it fool you into thinking it’ll be a one dimensional ride from A to B, Pacific Rim is much more than that, it’s a big blockbuster most definitely, but it also gets the subtleties right; it has a heart. We begin with a Shakespearean narration by Raleigh Becket (Charlie Hunnan) who tells us about a war breaking out between humans and the Kaiju, a race of monsters from deep within the Pacific Ocean, and the only way to beat them is to bring in the heavy metal. Enter the Jaeger program, a series of gigantic robots built across the world to defend Earth against the terrifying creatures.

Whilst piloting a Jaeger, you are connected with a co-pilot who can see memories in a ‘drift’, a kind of telepathy which can be deadly for those around you if you ‘chase the rabbit’ and trap yourself in a memory which has caused distress. After all, you’re piloting a giant robot with laser beams, swords and over 100 diesel engines in some cases.

Hunnan’s character Raleigh is distraught after an incident with a Kaiju, so much so that he leaves the program and thinks he will never have to return. Unfortunately, he is very wrong and after five years he is back and, to cut a long story short, is teamed up with a rookie pilot in the shape of Mako Mori (Rinko Kikuchi) to put an end to the forthcoming invasion.

The film borrows heavily from other similar-minded movies like Cloverfield and Transformers and there’s even a subtle nod to Jurassic Park, see if you can spot it, but yet del Toro always manages to make the film feel new, exciting and exceptionally fresh. Never before have we seen all of these regularly used components together, and it adds an interesting new dynamic to a film which could’ve been run of the mill.

Acting is a mixed bag; Idris Elba is excellent in his role as Pentecost and shows why he is like catnip to directors at the moment. Rinko Kikuchi is understated in her large role but plays the character well; we feel her innocence before her ‘drift virginity’ is taken. There is also one scene involving a younger version of Mori which is by far the most poignant in the entire film. For comic relief, of which there is a surprising amount in a film about the destruction of the globe, we have a del Toro staple, Ron Perlman, who plays a black market dealer roped in to help the cause and locate a Kaiju brain. Rob Kazinsky (True Blood) and Charlie Day (Horrible Bosses) also star, with the latter providing some of the films best lines.

The special effects are truly exceptional, in films this big there can sometimes be a few shoddy scenes to cut costs in the hope that audiences don’t notice but not here; everything is stunning – from the computer generated Jaegers and the computer generated Kaiju, to the CGI recreations of Hong Kong and other destinations across the globe, it truly is beautiful to watch. Couple this with an absolutely mind-blowing soundtrack and each frame has either a tantalising musical score or a piece of eye-popping visual.

However, after an initially exciting opening, we are treated to a first-act lull from which the film takes a good 30 minutes to recover from, this being the most disappointing thing in the entire movie. The lull is used to good effect though, as we learn more about the lead characters and the Jaeger program itself, but 30 minutes in a 2 hour film is a little too long to wait for the action to restart.

Overall, Pacific Rim is everything a big summer blockbuster should be, it has beautiful special effects, excellent performances and a decent story mixed with a superb soundtrack. We’ve seen it all before, but in separate films, so to put everything together was a brave move on behalf of del Toro and it works brilliantly. It’s a little too long and the first-act lull is disappointing, but in the end it all ties together nicely as pure popcorn entertainment.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2013/07/13/pacific-rim-review-2013/
  
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
2016 | Fantasy
Some of the lighting is well implemented (1 more)
Colin Farrell
Bad CGI (2 more)
The movies 3 leads are extremely annoying
Johnny 'oooh' Depp
Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them - Or JK Rowling and the Never Ending Quest for More Money
Contains spoilers, click to show
First off, full disclosure, I have never been a fan of the Harry Potter franchise. I’ve read a few of the books and seen a few of the movies and it just isn’t my thing. Honestly, I’m not even a fan of fantasy in general, I think Lord Of The Rings is nonsense and Game Of Thrones is vastly overrated and the last Harry Potter movie I saw was the fourth one. However, I was willing to go into this movie with a clean slate and hopefully have it win me over and unfortunately it didn’t. Also this review will contain spoilers if you care about that sort of thing.

This film is a prequel to the other Harry Potter movies, this time set in America rather than Britain and telling the story of the events that led to the great wizarding war between Dumbledore and Grindlewald. The film did have potential, to see what would have essentially been WWII fought with magic could be really cool but unfortunately all we get here is setup and that actual event we want to see will probably take place 4 or 5 movies down the line. The film opens with Eddie Redmayne’s character, Newt Scamander going to New York from London to set free one of the beasts that he keeps inside his Tardis-like brief case. Then he ends up in a bank and meets a ‘Nomaj,’ which is this film’s lazy version of a ‘muggle,’ who we learn is a simple lonely guy that just wants to open his own bakery and that’s another character cliché ticked off the list. We now have the double act of the nerdy, sniveling protagonist and the overweight sympathetic sidekick. Also, for the rest of this review I will be referring to the baker character as fat bloke and this isn’t to be derogatory, but is purely because the script relies on the, ‘fat, jolly, sympathetic, pathetic loner’ stereotype and passes it off as a character arc. If the script isn’t treating the character with any respect, then why should I? So fat bloke it is then.

So the two of them of course have the exact same briefcase and after some cartoony looking CGI animals escape from Redmayne’s case in the bank the suitcases predictably get mixed up and then the fat bloke gets his bakery loan declined and returns home with Redmayne’s suitcase, then more bad CGI animals open the case and attack the fat bloke. Redmayne’s character then gets arrested by some wizarding inspector for letting the, ‘Nomaj,’ (urgh) get away after seeing the animals in the case and is taken to the New York Wizards base, I guess? Then it’s revealed that the wizarding inspector that arrested Redmayne is a bit of a shit inspector and she is trying to redeem herself in the eyes of her superiors, so in front of this high wizard council, she confiscates the case from Redmayne and opens it only to reveal a bunch of cakes inside. Yes, really… Who writes this shit? Rowling is doing to Harry Potter what Lucas did to Star Wars during the prequels at this point.

So Redmayne gets set free and he goes to fat bloke’s house to find him lying on the floor, then some more bad CGI later the inspector turns up and they take him back to her house to meet her sister? Friend? Does it matter? She ends up becoming the love interest for fat bloke. Then for no apparent reason Redmayne and fat bloke enter the case and he shows fat bloke all this crazy shit that apparently humans aren’t supposed to see and then Redmayne does some more sniveling and decides they have to sneak out of the girls’ apartment and recapture the animals that escaped in the bank and from fat bloke’s apartment. They get a couple of the beasts back then they go to central park to find Redmayne’s horny rhino and they dress fat bloke up in a leather rhino costume and use him as rape bait then they ice skate for a bit and capture the rhino. Again, really… I am not making this shit up for satirical reasons.

Then we see a real life prick Ezra Miller playing some sort of weird emo child who is beat by his mother and we see he is working with Colin Farrell to find a big bad dark spirit that is killing people around New York. Colin Farrell is definitely the best thing about the film at this point. After this a bunch of other stupid shit happens, like Ron Perlman and John Voight coming into the movie, showing a ray of potential then being totally wasted. The movie drags in the middle, but eventually after some more fat jokes, bad CGI and sniveling, all of the creatures are captured and Ezra Miller turns into a black death cloud or some such nonsense. Then he is boosting around New York, fucking up shit as he goes and so Redmayne and Farrell follow him down to the subway to stop him. Redmayne seems to be talking him down and then Farrell shows up and essentially tells him to join the dark side. Then there is a CGI wand battle and the council from earlier show up out of nowhere and kill the black cloud of death. Then Colin Farrell gets pissed off and in the best scene in the movie murders half of the council members before he gets arrested by Eddie Redmayne with some magic handcuffs.

Then the worst part in the movie takes place. It is revealed that Colin Farrell is actually Johnny Depp in disguise. I mean he is Grindlewald in disguise but the important part for me is the replacement of Colin Farrell with Johnny Depp. Now I’m not the world’s biggest Colin Farrell fan, he is great in, ‘In Bruges,’ but other than that he is pretty meh, but he was definitely the best thing that this movie had going for it and they fucking swapped him out! With fucking Johnny-‘ooh’-Depp. As if this movie wasn’t shit enough they swapped out the best thing about it for Johnny Depp, the biggest joke in Hollywood. I’m done, fuck this movie, fuck Johnny Depp, fuck JK Rowling, fuck Harry Potter, I’m out.

Okay, let’s briefly talk about the technical side of the film before I score this thing. The whole cast of this movie is phoning it in, so the acting is fine but nothing to write home about, Farrell is the best thing in this movie, but I feel that in the sequels it will just be an ‘ooh,’ off between Depp and Redmayne. The direction is okay as the movie plods along sufficiently, but the writing is wildly inconsistent and the plot as stated above is all over the place. The lighting and cinematography in one scene are fantastic, when Farrell and Miller are conversing in a dark alleyway but other than that they are pretty mundane too. The score is suitably Harry Potter like and the CGI is also to a similar standard of the Harry Potter films. The problem with that is that the CGI was ropey and of a fairly poor standard in the Harry Potter movies 10 years ago and it doesn’t seem like it has improved much since then. This movie isn’t for me, but even from an objective standpoint, based solely from a moviemaking perspective this movie is poor.
  
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Mothergamer (1511 KP) rated the PlayStation 3 version of Fallout New Vegas in Video Games

Apr 3, 2019  
Fallout New Vegas
Fallout New Vegas
2010 | Role-Playing
Once I finished Fallout 3, I went on to playing Fallout New Vegas. I really liked the opening introduction to the game's main story line because it hooks you in right away showing just a glimpse of the underlying chaos in the Mojave wasteland with a pretty badass introduction narrated by Ron Perlman. Then you get to meet your main character the Courier who is in a messed up situation as they're getting mugged for a platinum chick they're delivering and some jerk in a checkered suit is explaining that the Courier has made their last delivery and while it may seem like bad luck, it's just that the game was rigged from the start. I knew right then it was going to get worse and it did as he shot the Courier in the head. I admit my initial thought was, how the heck is this going to work if the main character is dead? I got my answer fairly quickly as it showed the Courier waking up in a bed with an old man hovering over her looking concerned and asking if she was alright. The man introduced himself as Doc Mitchell and explains how the Courier survived thanks to a Securitron robot named Victor and the adventure of Fallout New Vegas begins in a town called Goodsprings.

Goodsprings of course gives you a chance to explore and get familiar with the game controls and how everything works. The controls are much better here than they were in Fallout 3 which made me happy. It also introduces you to the people in the town and you get a couple of quests from them. You also get a chance to speak with Victor the robot who saved your life. Honestly, I found Victor to be really creepy. He seemed friendly enough with his cowboy icon face and talking in a friendly cowboy drawl, but there was just something weird about him. It also didn't help that he kept popping up in odd places during my adventures and seemed to be following me. He did own up to it which I will give him, but he was creepy.

Once the tutorial introduction and quests are finished, you get to really explore the Mojave with the main goal being to find Benny; the man who stole the platinum chip from you and shot you leaving you for dead to get answers. For me it was to get answers, get the platinum chip back, and beat the crap out of him. I was still pretty ticked off about that whole ordeal with him shooting me.

To say that the world of Fallout New Vegas is big is an understatement. It is huge and you get an immediate sense of just how vast the Mojave wasteland is as you explore it. There are three big main factions fighting for control of the Mojave and the Hoover Dam and your decisions throughout the story affect which side you will help. There's the NCR a military expansion government, Caesar's Legion a group of Roman style slavers, and Mr. House the mysterious ruler of New Vegas.

There are so many side quests to do alongside the main story quests which isn't a bad thing. A lot of them were fun to do and the companion quests are interesting especially for the character of Boone. I liked Boone a great deal. There was a complexity to him that was intriguing and as my Courier got to know him better there was an understanding of why he was the way he was and a path towards him atoning for some of his past. It made for a great companion story and by the end of Boone's personal quest I liked him even more.


While I enjoyed Fallout New Vegas, there were many frustrating issues with it that had me swearing up a storm when they happened. The major thing were the constant dropped frame rates and freezing that caused the game to crash. When the game worked, it was a lot of fun to play. It just killed it for me when the game would freeze every couple of hours. I make sure to save my game often anyway with my games and I think that games like New Vegas are why. I did all the tricks too with clearing the cache on the PS3 and rebooting and it would still crash after a bit of time. That's incredibly irritating when I want to fully enjoy a game.

Then there's the weird quest bugs. I couldn't finish a quest for a couple of my companions because in one the quest item was nowhere to be found and in the other a quest the NPC I needed to complete the quest had disappeared completely. There were also occasions where I would get stuck in a wall or my companion would and I would have to reload my last save. I understand that there are going to be bugs and glitches in a game sometimes, they happen. However, the vast amount of glitches, bugs, and technical difficulties is inexcusable. I know that Obsidian the developers that worked on New Vegas apologized for all of that, but the thing is slapping a band aid on it is not going to cut it. For as long as the game has been out and the patches they had to fix the game, it should be fixed and yet those irritating issues remain.


Speaking of the DLC quests, I wanted to like all of them. I really did, but there were so many flaws. I only really liked two of the quests out of four. That's saying something. One of them I just could not stand at all. That was the Dead Money quest. I could not stand Dead Money. It was very clunky with the navigation and hard to see at some points. Getting gassed and waking up in a strange place without any of my gear and some crazy ex Brotherhood of Steel jerk was not good. As part of the story you also have a slave collar around your neck that happens to be on the same frequency as the radios in the surrounding areas and if you don't destroy the radios the collar will explode and kill you. This is an exercise in futility as every damn five minutes the collar beeps and you have to figure out exactly where the radio is. I found this tedious and slow which made this quest one of the worst I have ever played and I played Dragon Age The Descent. Yeah, I said it. The ending was a little satisfying, but not much because you don't really get anything out of it except a little payback to the egomaniac who put me through that nonsense.

Old World Blues was alright, but I hated the fact that once again I'm basically drugged and wake up in a strange place without all my gear. Seriously, was this the same writer for Dead Money? So I had to figure out where I was and I met the insane scientists in robot bodies who had brought me there. The thing that kept Old World Blues moderately entertaining for me was the humor. There were moments that had me laughing especially when one of the scientists claimed that my toes looked like tiny penises. There were some cool places to explore and some interesting things to see. The big thing that makes Old World Blues shine are the smartly written jokes and the humor about trying to understand another species and the differences between you. That's what made it fun for me.


The Lonesome Road was disappointing for me. It started out strongly with the introduction of this other mysterious courier, Ulysses demanding you show up to answer for what happened in a place called The Divide. There isn't really a strong urge to explore and it just seems to be travel from point A to point B. During that time you get to hear Ulysses drone on and on about the NCR, the Legion, and how you were the catalyst for nuclear missiles blowing up in the Divide. I like history a lot, but Ulysses made it freaking boring because he kept harping on the same thing repeatedly. It shows just how nuts Ulysses is because essentially he's blaming a mailman for something that had nothing to do with them. What happened in the Divide was an accident and while yes the Courier was delivering the package (a detonator) that awoke and caused all that, they had no idea what it was. The NCR did however and probably the Legion, so that's on them. Look, I get it. Ulysses had something very traumatizing happen to him and he needed something or someone to blame in order to be able to wrap his head around it, but when I was there face to face with him all I could think was, this whole thing was not my fault and you're crazy! I mean he wanted to punish a bunch of innocent people for the traumatizing thing for just a chance to wipe out the NCR and the Legion; that does not sound like someone who is operating at full capacity. Luckily, my speech, intelligence, and science perks were high enough that I convinced him peacefully that destroying all those people would help and even earned his respect. It's obvious in the writing that they meant for Ulysses to be a companion, but I guess they couldn't quite figure out how to make it work and this is what happened. It was okay, but it wasn't perfect and they could have made this a great story instead of a mediocre one.

Once I finished all those, I wrapped up the game with the final quest which was the battle for Hoover Dam. I had decided to help the NCR because while they're far from perfect I felt that they were a better choice than the group of rapist slavers that represented Caesar's Legion. I also liked and respected the fact that the NCR seemed to be protecting the idea of democracy and while they had their flaws, they were at least trying to do something good. The battle for the dam was epic and because I had successfully convinced the minor factions to join the NCR I had a lot of help battling Caesar's Legion. I totally loved the Boomers with their salvaged airplane taking out Legion soldiers from the sky. We fought hard and the battle was won; the NCR still had control of the dam. The game ends then showing all the different things that happen to the people and areas in the Mojave depending on your choices. Overall, the ending was pretty good and I was glad to see that many of my choices helped a lot of people who needed it. I can honestly say that I enjoyed playing Fallout New Vegas in spite of the technical issues and I'm glad I only paid 10 bucks for it. When the game works, it is worth playing and there is lots of adventuring to do with a great main story and solid side stories. Play through it at least once is my take on it.