Search

Search only in certain items:

Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Second Half (0 more)
First Half (0 more)
I have very mixed feelings following The Rise of Skywalker, the concluding chapter of not just another trilogy of Star Wars movies but also the conclusion of the Skywalker saga. Starting this trilogy, I was comforted by the familiarity presented in The Force Awakens and I felt that movie got the balance right between it's handling of the past and the introduction of new characters, scenarios and threats. But, I’m one of those people that was ultimately disappointed by The Last Jedi. Not the kind that fanboy rages about Star Wars and my entire childhood being ruined, as there are actually a lot of things I liked about it, but I do feel it deviated too much from some of the direction introduced in the previous movie and the movies prior to that. So I went into The Rise of Skywalker not quite as excited as I've been previously, but still cautiously optimistic following a trailer which managed to give me goosebumps pretty much every time I saw it.

As a final chapter, The Rise of Skywalker has a lot resting on it's shoulders. Concluding, and wrapping things up, while not completely ignoring the ideas put forth in The Last Jedi, JJ Abrams is however clearly more interested in revisiting some of his own ideas from The Force Awakens. But I felt that maybe he was relying a little too much on that familiarity aspect at times, as he tries to please everyone.

In The Rise of Skywalker, the resistance are still outnumbered by the First Order and Kylo Ren is now Supreme Leader. Meanwhile, Rey is training with Leia, becoming more confident and powerful, while Finn, Poe and Chewie are out in the Millennium Falcon gathering intel from spies. But an old threat from the past has returned, as a message goes out across the galaxy from an unknown region - Emperor Palpatine is warning of revenge, supported by a powerful fleet of ships.

To go into much more detail would involve spoilers, but lets just say that the first half of the movie involves a search to find something which is going to help them find something else, which is going to lead to the location of the emperor. The quest takes us from location to location, with the odd rescue along the way and the occasional new character popping up. Rey and Ren still have a bond which means that they can manipulate and battle each other from anywhere in the galaxy as Ren and his knights seek out Rey and her team in order to destroy them. There's a lot going on in that first half, and it all felt a bit messy. It's fair to say, I was very bored by this first half.

Around that half way mark though, the journey takes us to a world in the Endor system, where the remains of the second Death Star lies out at sea, among towering waves. It's there that an epic battle between Rey and Ren takes place, which you no doubt will have seen snippets of in the trailers or marketing material. Waves crash around them and the visuals, the choreography, the score, it all came together and really kick started the second half off for me. I still can't quite put my finger on it, but from that point on I felt a real shift (in the force?) and I began to really enjoy the rest of the movie, right up until the huge, inevitable and breathtaking final battle.

As mentioned earlier, there are certainly a lot of characters to take care of in this movie, including plenty of newcomers, all fighting for attention and screen-time. Some of the seemingly important characters introduced to us previously in this trilogy feel a bit lost at times, while we do still manage to find time for a very welcome return by Landon Calrissian. Rey and Ren are both outstanding once again and a special mention goes out to Richard E Grant, who I thought was brilliant as head of the First Order fleet, Allegiant General Pride. Scenes involving Carrie Fisher are beautifully handled, but I felt that the fan service went a little bit too far with some of the scenes involving Luke Skywalker.

The level of craftsmanship and design that goes into a Star Wars movie is always incredible and The Rise of Skywalker is no exception, elevated by a powerful John Williams score and some amazing visuals. I'm really not sure what I was expecting from this final chapter but, despite it all coming good for me in the end, I do feel slightly disappointed overall by the wildly differing halves of the movie. Still, there's nothing quite like seeing a new Star Wars movie on the big screen at Christmas time!
  
Tiny Epic Kingdoms
Tiny Epic Kingdoms
2014 | Bluff, Civilization, Fantasy, Fighting, Medieval
Behold – the Tiny Epic game that started the saga. Tiny Epic Kingdoms is the OG, and it’s about time we got around to reviewing it. It’s tiny. It’s epic. Keep reading to find out if it’s a keeper!

In Tiny Epic Kingdoms, you are the ruler of (you guessed it) a tiny kingdom. You, however, are not content with simply maintaining your realm – you have plans to expand your borders and make your kingdom not-so-tiny! Send your adventurers out to explore new lands, learn new magics, construct towers to assert your dominance, and fight off others who would stand in your way! Do you have the strategy necessary to outwit your competitors and grow your kingdom? Play to find out!

DISCLAIMER: There are several expansions to this game, but we are not reviewing them at this time. Should we review them in the future we will either update this review or post a link to the new material here. -T

Tiny Epic Kingdoms is a game of worker placement, area control, and action point allowance. Players take turns gathering resources, buildings towers, researching magic, or exploring (and potentially waging war) in new lands. As the active player, on your turn you will select and perform one of the six available actions from the Action Card: Patrol, Quest, Build, Research, Expand, or Trade. Following your action, and still on your turn, the remaining players will either decide to perform the same action you chose, or collect resources. Once everyone has had the chance to act, your turn is over. The next player now becomes the active player and the process repeats with one big change – the action you chose on your turn is no longer available for selection. Each subsequent active player will always have 1 fewer action choice on their turn. This process repeats until there are no more actions available. When this happens, the Action Card is cleared and all actions are available once more for selection. Strategy is key – which action can you choose on your turn to best benefit you while also inhibiting your competitors? The game ends at the end of the turn in which one of these three things has happened: a player has all of their meeples in play, a player has built the 6th level on the tower card, or a player has reached the 5th level of magic on their faction card. End-game points are scored based on meeples in play, magic level, tower level, and control of Capital Cities. The player with the highest score wins!

For such a small game, there’s definitely a fair amount of strategy involved in Tiny Epic Kingdoms. You’ve got to decide on the best approach for you, and it must be adaptable to any given situation. Do you play it safe, quietly collecting resources, trying to achieve your end-game goals the fastest? Or do you venture out to confront your opponents, trying to usurp their territory and resources and take them out as your competition? Or maybe you try to stay civil, but an opponent is threatening your progress and now you’ve got to fight back? There are lots of strategic options, and every game feels like a new challenge.

One thing I enjoy about Tiny Epic Kingdoms is that you get to act on every single turn, even if you aren’t the active player. You don’t have to sit there and watch your friends play – you have the chance to benefit during every single turn, even if it’s merely collecting resources. The opportunity to act on every turn also adds a little bit of ‘take that’ to this game. I might choose an action on my turn as the active player that I know one of my competitors cannot perform – thus forcing them to collect resources and waste the opportunity to perform that specific action for an entire round. And since that action cannot be picked again until all available actions have already been chosen, I’ve successfully blocked their progress in a certain area of play. Your strategy has to extend beyond just your turn as the active player – you must consider all options for your opponents as well.

The thing I don’t necessarily like about Tiny Epic Kingdoms is that the gameplay can be a little stale. Unless you’re playing with people who actively try to engage with you, it is extremely easy to just stay in your own realm and not even interact with anyone at all. There’s no forced interaction in this game, and although it is admittedly nice sometimes, mostly it just feels like we’re all playing the same game alone. It’s like we all just take turns performing/following actions until someone has triggered the end-game.

Overall, I like Tiny Epic Kingdoms. It’s not my favorite Tiny Epic game, but it’s a good one. There’s a decent amount of strategy involved, but at times it can feel more like a ‘take that’ type game to me. The lack of forced player interaction can lead to dull gameplay and a lackluster experience. It’s not a bad game. It’s just not the most epic Tiny Epic game out there, in my opinion. That’s why Purple Phoenix Games gives it a regal 14 / 18.
  
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
2020 | Comedy, Music, Romance
Rachel McAdams and Dan Stevens steal most of the scenes (1 more)
A real feelgood movie that spoofs the unspoofable pretty well
My lovely farce
Will Ferrell's output over the last few years has been decidedly patchy. I have to go back to "Get Hard" to find one of his movies that really got to my funny bone. But this latest Netflix offering hits the spot for me.

We start with the song recently voted the number one Eurovision song of all time by UK viewers: "Waterloo" by Abba. Young Lars Erickssong (LOL) (Alfie Melia) is transfixed watching the 1974 Eurovision winner with his recently bereaved father and local Lothario Erick (Pierce Brosnan). (Mental note to women: never marry Brosnan on screen... he gets through wives faster than you can murder "S.O.S."). Also present are his friends and young Sigrit ("probably not by sister") Ericksdottir (Sophia-Grace Donnelly). Lars vows to one day stand on that stage and make his father and his remote Icelandic fishing village proud.

Now all grown up, Lars (now Will Ferrell) and Sigrit (now Rachel McAdams) are still pursuing their dream of representing Iceland in the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest. They are, of course, dreadful - - so they should fit right in! But their way is blocked by the immensely talented Katiana (Demi Lovato) and all seems hopeless. Will Sigrit's faith in the power of the Elves see them through?

There's an obvious problem here. The Eurovision Song Contest is in itself so bat-s**t bonkers that it is almost impossible to spoof. (If anyone is not on this wavelength, checkout the genuine Russian entry in this year's (cancelled) contest on Youtube). But the team here (writers Will Ferrell and Andrew Steele and director David "The Judge" Dobkin) do a really great job. I'd love to know what a US audience - who I guess will mostly be unfamiliar with Eurovision - make of this. Since Australia are now honorary Europeans in the contest.... wouldn't it be great if there was a Mexican mariachi band attending and a country and western act from the States? (Brits would love the US to be involved.... as spoofed in the film, there's only one country European's hate more than the UK.... be nice to have someone else to join us in the "nul points" club!)

Wherever you may be on the "Ferrell-funny-or-not-ometer", there's one thing I hope we can all agree on here, and that is that Rachel McAdams continues to shine as a comic lead. She was fantastic in "Game Night" - one of my favourite comedies of recent years - and here she is both gorgeous and hilarious. She knocks it out of the park playing the elf-loving Icelandic pixie with the golden voice. (McAdams "sings" but is significantly "helped" in the mix by Swedish pop star Molly Sandén (aka My Marianne)).

Here she even gets to almost reprise her wonderful "YEESSSSS! Oh no, he died!" line from "Game Night".

Almost matching her in the scene-stealing stakes though is Downton's Dan Stevens as Lemtov: a Russian 'Tom Jones'-like contestant singing "Lion of Love" ("Let's get together; I'm a lion lover; And I hunt for love!"). He's DEFINITELY not gay ("There are no gays in Russia") but are his multi-millions enough to turn Sigrit's head?

For those who love their annual Eurovision parties, there are also an impressive array of nice cameos that will delight.

But where the film-makers really score (no pun intended) is making the music so fitting. Some of the tracks make you think "Yeah, if this was the real content, this might have got my vote". Director Dobkin is quoted as saying "It's okay if it's funny, but it has to be really good music. It has to still be great and just kitschy enough to be Eurovision, because that's part of what's fun about Eurovision" (Source: Vulture). Very true. This success is down to the involvement of pop writer/producer Savan Kotecha on the project: the man behind hits by Katy Petty, Ariana Grande and Ellie Goulding.

A comedy needs to make me laugh, and this one really did - numerous times. It's not just the dialogue. Some of the cut-away scenes are priceless and perfectly executed: jumping whales; a collapsing glacier; a small slamming door!

Sure, it borrows from a number of other sources in its plot: most notably THAT episode of "Father Ted" and the rap-battle scenes from "Pitch Perfect". And sure, some of the outRAGEOUS Icelandic accents sometimes swerve into an alarming mix of Indian, Welsh and Caribbean dialects! But above all, this is movie with real heart. The plot is pretty well signposted, but the finale still packs a (surprisingly) hefty emotional punch, and it leaves you with a really nice afterglow.

As we struggle out of Covid lockdown, it may not be a vaccine, but it is a pretty good medicine for the side-effects. Did I love this? Jaja Ding Dong!

(For the full graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/06/27/one-manns-movies-film-review-eurovision-song-contest-the-story-of-fire-saga-2020/ ).
  
Toy Story 4 (2019)
Toy Story 4 (2019)
2019 | Animation, Comedy, Sci-Fi
The rule of threes is a pretty solid philosophy. We find things repeated in triplicate satisfying and complete. There is no rule of four, it isn’t a thing. Four is usually one too many… and this was the fear for all Pixar and Toy Story fans when this project was announced, fairly unexpectedly, in 2018. Toy Story 3 was a beautiful and heart-rending end to the saga of Woody, Buzz and co. It was an end. Wasn’t it? Everything worth saying had been said, and it was all tied up in a plastic bow rather perfectly.

Well, Pixar are innovators and pioneers of the highest order, so maybe we should just trust that they know what they are doing (apart from the Cars series). Please don’t ruin it all, is all we asked, with fingers crossed. So many franchises and beloved event movies have had their legacy shat on by one too many sequels. Die Hard, Alien, Star Wars, The Terminator, etc, etc. Isn’t it best to leave well alone and concentrate on new ideas and new directions?

All the usual voice actors, Mr Hanks and Mr Allen, were back on board, with some intriguing additions in guest stars such as Christina Hendricks and Keanu Reeves, as Gabby Gabby and Duke Caboom, respectively. There was also a new director in Josh Cooley, who had been part of the team since story boarding The Incredibles in 2003, and graduating to writer and actor on Inside Out. It’s good to know Pixar look after their own with these kind of opportunities, but was this the right film and series to be making a debut in? A lot of pressure, you would think.

So, firstly, by now we know the entire world breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn’t terrible. Not only wasn’t it terrible, but it was a heck of a lot of fun! I mean, a lot! It went on to win the Oscar for best animated film, and everyone that went on to watch it after its cinema release unanimously says: “Hey, this is much better than I thought… maybe even my second favourite out of the four”. And it is true! It’s not just good enough, it is great. I loved it.

I tend to save my animation for Sundays. I don’t know why, but that feels like the best day to indulge my inner child and sense of sentimental wonder. From minute one I was into this film. As soon as you see and hear your old friends in the toy box, it doesn’t take long to feel at home in this world of talking, walking, feeling, fearing, loving characters. They are so well drawn, in all senses, it is hard to think of animated entities so adored and part of the family. I laughed, I cried, I felt excited and worried and tense and ultimately warmed up with joy. It has it all.

Not to say it merely repeats the best tricks of the first three, it doesn’t. In fact, there are a lot of differences here. It feels a little more mature, like we have all grown up together and have no need to be patronised or expositioned at. It assumes we know these people (yes, I think of them as people, that is why it works) and can leap into their lives at any point. Woody, who is of course the beating heart of the show, has been a friend, a paramour and brother before, but now he is a father figure too, an evolution that reflects life. And these guys know how effective that is going to be.

There is a slight concern regarding his adopted ward, the controversial “Forky”, who seemed a little childish and simplistic in theory… but that becomes a wonderful part of the whole point… no spoilers. I’d understand if the character grated a tiny touch at first; it kinda did with me. But the laughs are there eventually, and some of them are big laughs! Fear not, it works. Not perfect, but it works. Although why it isn’t called “Sporky” I do not know… it is clearly a spork and not a fork. Oh, yes, I know why, it is because that is what Bonnie calls him, and she is a child. Genius. I was wrong.

The plot, such as it is, is an adventure story worthy of Indiana Jones at points, and it moves along at an exciting clip for sure! Gabby Gabby is gloriously sinister, as are her ventriloquist dummy henchmen; Duke Caboom is hilarious and has probably the best light relief moments; but there is also the duo of “Ducky” and “Bunny” to enjoy on a more surreal and perhaps more adult level. Even when you see where it is going, it has the ability to surprise you, which is terrific film-making art in any animation, or anything full stop. Not least, the final 10 minutes, which break the heart in the best way, just as all the previous films have done. The thought of where they leave it brings a lump to my throat even now!

In short. If you haven’t seen it: do. If you have, watch it again as part of a Toy Story marathon and see exactly how different it is from start to finish, and just how many themes and ideas it has covered in its 25 year existence. Bravo Pixar, you did it again!
  
40x40

Gareth von Kallenbach (965 KP) rated the PC version of Borderlands 3 in Video Games

Sep 25, 2019  
Borderlands 3
Borderlands 3
Action/Adventure
Gamers exchange the world over can rejoice as the long-awaited new chapter in the Borderlands saga has arrived with Borderlands 3. The game takes place after the events of Borderlands 2 and the Telltale series of games which cast players as one of four new Vault Hunters who seek to find one of the Great Vaults which have been the main objective of the prior games in the series.
The four new characters break down as follows…
Amara the Siren, FL4K the Tracker, Moze the Gunner and Zane the Operative.

Characters have unique abilities which can be adjusted as the game unfolds as players will gain skill points to allocate to various abilities as they level up throughout the game. Each character has a special ability that is deployable after a certain amount of time and really can turn the tide of battle. Moze for example can deploy a mechanized unit known as an “Iron Bear” which is capable of unleashing a devastating arsenal of bullets, rockets, flames, and increased protection which makes it ideal when taking on some of the bosses in the game.
One of the new features in the game aside from being able to have better ability to mantel or destroy cover objects is a greater range of destructible containers which helps turn the tide against the relentless and overwhelming numbers that players can face.

Well I played a significant chunk of the game on my own; the game does allow up to four players to play with one another and this came in very handy during a couple of battles Where I simply did not have enough firepower to complete it on my own.
There were some frustrations with the matchmaking system which did not allow me to select games to join and I was basically dropped in blind to games near my character level. This caused me to have to repeat a mission multiple times and then endure having to re-do the mission I needed help with three times due to various glitches and crashes.

Further complicating matters was that in joining a game blind, that now became the jumping off point for continuing my game. It took a little bit of searching to find one roughly where I had left off; so I could continue on.
The key for me turned out to be asking for assistance from players on my friends list as well is those who were listed on my recent contact sessions.
The game tasks players to go up against Twins who have started a Cult as they attempt to unlock the Great Vault and use the power to control the galaxy and kill all those who oppose them.

As anybody who is played any games in the series knows; there are all manner of enemies and creatures for players to battle as well as vehicles and NPC characters to help out and move the story along.

This time out players have a spaceship called Sanctuary which allows players to venture away from Pandora and experience several other planets in the Borderlands Universe. Each planet has its own unique look and bio system ranging from a Louisiana style swamp location to high-tech cities as an example.

The graphics in the game are absolutely stunning in the amount of detail is simply breathtaking to behold. The level of detail in something as simple as a mansion is worthy of just walking around having a look were it not for the numerous things trying to take you out. The game has incredible amounts of loot that players can accumulate which can be used for various upgrades. 2K and Gearbox promote that there are over 1 billion weapons available in the game which leads to some really difficult choices as to which ones players keep, discard, or placed into storage.

While one may offer a bigger punch; it may be slow to reload, have limited ammunition, and increased accuracy. There is definitely a lot of experimentation that goes on and the same is true for the skills tree which even after completing the game is still fairly open which will entice me to go back and complete side quests while I wait for the DLC and maximizes the potential of my character.

The game is exceptionally long which is not a bad thing save for a couple of times when I thought the game was wrapping up only to be signed more back-and-forth or other missions to advance the story. This is not a bad thing as the universe is incredibly immersive but I found myself eager to see what the outcome of the story was rather than what seem like a series of missions designed to extend gameplay.
That being said; Borderlands 3 was hands-down the best gaming experience I have had this year and is an early contender for game of the year award despite the glitches and matchmaking frustrations that hampered some of my enjoyment of the game.

Start to finish I was absolutely captivated by the game and I’m eager to go back in and experience more of this incredible universe as I look forward to the free and paid updates that are coming soon which will hopefully keep me satisfied until the next chapter in the series is released which hopefully will not be as long a wait.
4.5 stars out
  
Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)
2005 | Action, Fantasy, Sci-Fi
After three long years of waiting, countless internet rumors, and high expectations, the final big screen Star Wars film, Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith has arrived to the delight of millions of fans worldwide.

The lavish and dark film chronicles the fall of the Republic, the demise of the Jedi Knights, and the creation of Darth Vader amongst several plotlines that complete the Prequel Trilogy.

While many critics and fans had mixed reactions to the previous films in the Prequel Trilogy, the rumors of a much darker more mature Star Wars had even the most jaded curious to see just how dark creator George Lucas was willing to go.

The film opens with the familiar main theme by John Williams and the scrolling text that updates the viewers that the Clone Wars that started at the end of the last film are still raging, and that the Separatist movement under the leadership of Count Dooku (Christopher Lee), have kidnapped the Chancellor of the Republic (Ian Mc Diarmid), and a desperate battle over the capitol planet of Coruscant has ensued.

In a dazzling blend of colors, action, and motion, two fighters piloted by Obi Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), weave in and around countless fighters and capitol ships engaged in deadly combat. To say that it is an overwhelming visual display would be an understatement, as it is simply jaw dropping to see the detail that the magicians at Industrial Light and Magic have crafted.

Obi Wan and Anakin are spearheading the rescue effort that eventually puts them not only against Dooku, but the new villain, the deadly cyborg General Grevious and this is all within the first 15 minutes of the film.

Upon returning the Chancellor to Coruscant, Anakin is greeted by his wife in secret, Padme, (Natalie Portman), who informs him that she is expecting their baby.

Overjoyed by the news, and to be home after many long months away fighting, Anakin as if in a true Shakespearean tragedy proclaims that he has never been happier in his life.

Anakin’s peace is soon disrupted as he begins to have visions of his wife dying in childbirth, since these are the same type of visions Anakin had shortly before the death of his mother years earlier, he becomes obsessed with protecting his wife.

As further political intrigue unfolds, Chancellor Palpatine appoints Anakin to be his representative on the Jedi Council in a move that does nor sit well with the Jedi Elite, especially Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson), who begrudgingly accepts the appointment but does not bestow the title of Master upon Anakin causing further friction for the emotional Anakin.

It seems that the Jedi do not trust Palpatine and are convinced he is up to something, and will not relinquish his emergency powers that were granted to him during the war.. Towards this end, The Jedi Council tasks Anakin to spy on his friend the Chancellor and report what he has learned to the council.

This in turn causes much conflict in Anakin as he is torn between his duty as a Jedi and his friendship with the Chancellor. Since Obi Wan has been dispatched to hunt down General Grevious, Anakin is without his usually confidant and mentor leaving Palpatine to influence Anakin and turn him toward fateful decisions that will eventually change the course of the galaxy.

While filled with plenty of political intrigue, and dazzling action sequences, what drives this film is the gripping, human drama of the characters. While the viewers know what is to become of Anakin, seeing the path he takes is what makes this film a true tragedy as he does what he does for noble reasons. In a true Faustian tale, the devil does not reveal himself nor his true intentions until it is already well past the point of no return.

Lucas is careful to show Anakin as a sympathetic and loving person, who has matured from the spoiled character that he was in the last film. While at times the dialogue of the film may seem to some to be very basic, the tragic turn of events in the film helps to underscore the central themes of love, friendship, and betrayal.

The supporting work in the film is solid, especially the emotionally packed work of Mc Gregor and the maniacal performance of Mc Diarmid. My only real regret is that Portman did not have a larger role or more for her character to do, that being said, the film works on all levels.

Visually the film is amazing as the exotic locales, action, and computer generated characters such as Yoda and Grevious are a marvel to behold. It is amazing how much technology has advanced since the last film, but once again, Lucas has set the bar very high for others to follow.

Lucas has taken in my opinion some very undeserved criticism for the Prequel Trilogy, and Sith should dispel those who said that his best work was behind him and that he should have turned the directing duties over to another as this film once again underscores that he is one of the most gifted visionaries ever, and has created the ultimate saga for the ages that is second to none, and one that has and will stand the test of time.

Sith is a riveting and emotional film, that holds nothing back, it is the darkest Star Wars yet and is easily the best of the Prequel trilogy and on par with any of the classic originals, and is a true masterpiece that will delight fans old and new.
  
Artemis Fowl (2020)
Artemis Fowl (2020)
2020 | Action, Adventure, Family, Fantasy
Some setpieces (0 more)
Character development (1 more)
Forgettable story
Another Live-Action Disney Adaption Bomb
Contains spoilers, click to show
What is it about fantasy novels that makes them so difficult to translate effectively to the silver screen? It’s not impossible – J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series and Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings adaptations are proof that it can be done. More often than not, however, the result is as limp and truncated as Kenneth Branagh’s Artemis Fowl – a few standout moments set adrift in a sea of underdeveloped characters, incomplete backstory elements, and abbreviated world building. Although the problem lies primarily in the difficulties associated with condensing an epic tale into a short-ish movie, the lack of elegance with which that is accomplished makes Artemis Fowl a failure for anyone hoping for the next great fantasy film.

The treatment accorded to Artemis Fowl (the movie condenses elements from the first two volumes of an eight-novel cycle into a single film) recalls a Disney misfire from more than three decades ago. Although The Black Cauldron was animated, it suffered from many of the same problems evident in Artemis Fowl: an oversimplification of the backstory, a rushed narrative with poorly realized characters, and a overall lack of faithfulness to the source material. The Black Cauldron worked better because it at least had a clean ending. Artemis Fowl suffers by trying to both provide a credible stopping point (in case there are no additional films) and offering a lead-in to additional adventures (in case there are additional films).

In the books, 12-year old Artemis (played by Ferdia Shaw, the grandson of Robert Shaw) is presented as an anti-hero (although, over the course of the saga, his villainous attributes fade to be replaced by heroic ones). Here, he’s more of a misunderstood boy-genius whose role as the protagonist is never in question. All of his edges have been smoothed out. The story focuses on Artemis’ efforts to locate and rescue his father, Artemis Fowl Sr. (Colin Farrell), an infamous art thief who has been kidnapped by the twisted evil fairy Opal Koboi. Her ransom for releasing him is that Artemis must locate and obtain a powerful McGuffin. He is joined in his efforts by Lower Elements Police (LEP) fairy police officer Holly Short (Lara McDonnell), giant dwarf Mulch Diggums (Josh Gad), and strongman Domovoi Butler (Nonso Anozie).

Artemis Fowl diverges considerably from the two books that form its basis, Artemis Fowl and Artemis Fowl and the Arctic Incident. Although author Eoin Colfer reportedly “approved” the changes, they push the film into an alternate universe from the one occupied by the novels. Even with the pruning of subplots and condensation of the narrative, 100 minutes is too short to tell the story effectively. None of the characters are well-developed, including Artemis. The boy’s relationship with Holly Short evolves with whiplash-inducing rapidity – one moment, they’re enemies (actually, she’s his prisoner), the next they’re friends. The film’s frenetic pace might work for ADD viewers and preteens but there’s no time for world-building or anything more than the most basic exposition. As a result, Artemis Fowl feels rushed to the point of being exhausting and strangely confusing despite the relatively straightforward storyline.

Kenneth Branagh was undoubtedly selected to direct the film based on his success with two earlier Disney properties: the live-action Cinderella and Marvel’s Thor. Perhaps because Branagh had no input into the screenplay (which was completed before he came on board), the movie lacks the complex psychological qualities he normally brings to his films. Visually, Artemis Fowl is impressive. However, although the fairy world of Haven is beautifully rendered, it appears all-too-briefly. The film’s most impressive sequence, a throwdown with a seemingly invincible troll, is a standout by any definition, but it represents only about five minutes of screen time and there’s nothing else that comes close – not even the muted climax.

As is often the case, Branagh’s presence at the top results in some impressive names in the cast. The young leads are newcomers – this is Ferdia Shaw’s first movie (and it shows – his performance is occasionally wooden) and Lara McDonnell’s third (she’s better, evidencing an indomitable pluckiness) – but the rest of the cast is populated with veterans. Josh Gad, another Disney regular, has the most openly comedic role of the film as Mulch Diggums. Colin Farrell is called on for limited duty as Artemis’ mostly-absent father. Nonso Anozie, who has a history with Branagh, plays Artemis’ protector and advisor. Finally, Judi Dench adds a dose of class as Holly’s no-nonsense boss.

It has taken Artemis Fowl nearly 20 years to traverse the route from page to screen and one senses that neither fans nor newcomers will be especially pleased with the end result. Recognizing that the film faced rough seas, Disney postponed the movie’s originally planned August 2019 release to May 2020 then, when the coronavirus made that impossible, the studio elected to shift the film to its Disney+ platform. Although partially a face-saving gesture (Artemis Fowl would likely have had a similar box office reception to Disney’s underwhelming 2018 release, The Nutcracker and the Four Realms), it at least allows the film to find a large audience in a low-pressure situation.

The bottom line seems to be that, while Disney has shown an aptitude for making many different kinds of movies, fantasy epics aren’t among them. This is one genre the Magic Kingdom should perhaps avoid, leaving such properties to studios that have shown better success (such as Warner Brothers). Artemis Fowl could have been the beginning of a movie franchise but, based on the first installment, it’s more likely a one-and-done outing. Disney can't quite get away from the John Carters can they?


THIS FILM IS AN EXCEPTIONAL BOMB
  
Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
2018 | Action, Sci-Fi
Solo? So-so.
When the whole Disney “broaden out the Star Wars universe” thing was first mooted I was NOT enthusiastic about the prospect. Then, in Christmas 2016 “Rogue One” burst onto our screens as a breath of fresh air, and I thought “OK, I can be wrong!”. But even jolted by that pleasant surprise, I always thought that the second proposed diversion off the main hyperspace highway into “Radiator Springs” – a Han Solo back-story flick – might fall short. It just didn’t float my boat.

Add into that proposition the decision to give the film initially to “The Lego Movie” directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (why Disney? why?); them trying to forge it as a ‘comedy’; them falling horribly short and being fired by Disney; Disney bringing Ron Howard (“Inferno“, “Rush“) in to try to salvage the project; and Howard reportedly re-shooting 75% of the film and you have the makings of a turkey of galactic proportions.

With all that being said, I was surprised I enjoyed it as much as I did. But that’s off a very low base of expectation.

As you might guess, we go back to see Han… just Han… as a delinquent youth trying to keep his head above water under the thrall of the Fagin-like Lady Proxima (who – no pun intended – keeps her head under the water for most of the time). He is desperate to pull off a con that’s lucrative enough that it will get him and his girlfriend Qi’ra (Emilia Clarke, “Me Before You“; “Terminator: Genisys“; “Game of Thrones”) off-planet and into a free life. Things don’t go to plan though and Han – now Han Solo – finds himself a trooper of the Galactic Empire. He links up with fellow rogues Beckett (Woody Harrelson, “War for the Planet of the Apes“; “Three Billboards in Ebbing, Missouri“), Val (Thandie Newton, “Westworld”, “2012”), Rio (voiced by Jon Favreau, “Spider-Man: Homecoming“; “Iron Man Three“) and their assertive and rebellious droid L3-37 (voiced by Phoebe Waller-Bridge) in a get-rich-or-die mission for vicious gang-boss Dryden Vos (Paul Bettany, “Avengers: Infinity War“).

The film has its moments for sure:

There are some nice background touches: an army recruitment video plays to the sound of John William’s empire march (played I am assured by my more musical wife in a major key to sound more uplifting and positive!);
Han’s first meeting with that famous walking carpet (played by Joonas Suotamo) is memorable, as is the introduction to that “card player, gambler and scoundrel” Lando Calrissian (Donald Glover, “The Martian“, “Spider-Man: Homecoming“): all flamboyance, self-regard and well-dressed ego;
solo2
Never count your money while you’re sitting at the table. Lando Calrissian played by Donald Glover putting his ship (you probably haven’t heard of it) on the line. (Source: Lucasfilm).
the character of L3-37 is an excellent addition to the saga, forcefully demanding equality for droids: I would have liked to have seen much more of her;
there is a nice twist on the Greedo/Han “who shot first” debate;
production design and special effects are up to standard for a Star Wars film, and I enjoyed John Powell’s score, incorporating a new ‘young Han’ theme from John Williams himself;
and Erin Kellyman (in here movie debut) is just breathtaking and strikingly brilliant as the be-freckled renegade Enfys Nest.
But overall it’s all a bit disjointed and jumbled, probably as befits its growing pains. We are introduced to Solo within five seconds of the film’s opening….. BAM! No exquisite ‘reveal’ as we saw with River Phoenix in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”. I found this disconcerting and it took me ten minutes to get into the film as a result.

When it gets going it rather tries too hard to join up more Star Wars dots than it needs to. “Rogue One” did that exceedingly well, but that was because it needed to as ‘Episode 3.5’. Here there are visual and verbal references everywhere as the screenwriters (Lawrence and Jonathan Kasdan) desperately try to knit their story into the canon. As an example, the action moves to the mines of Kessel at one point. Kessel? Kessel? Wasn’t that a throwaway C3PO line from the “A New Hope” about being “smashed to who knows what” in said mines?. So obviously, in the WHOLE GALAXY that’s where the story leads us, with the local lingo for the hyperspace fuel McGuffin at the heart of the plot being “spice”! It’s all a bit too trite for my liking.

And while a key protagonist appearing near the end of the film (no spoilers) is both a startling surprise and great fun, don’t get me started on the timeline implications…. (see the spoiler section below the trailer for more).

Alden Ehrenreich, who was just brilliant in “Hail Caesar” (“Was that it t’WERRRE so simple“) for me barely makes it past bland in the lead role. One of the defining characteristics of Harrison Ford’s Solo was his swagger and bravado and unfortunately Ehrenreich barely rates a three out of ten on the scale. I also found the chemistry with Emelia Clarke to be lukewarm. Clarke still seems to be struggling to make a significant breakthrough to the big screen…. “Me Before You” still seems to be her high water mark so far. Here she has a key and complex role, but comes over as just plain unconvincing and “meh”.

Ron Howard has clearly done a good job in buffing up a poisoned chalice so it can at least share space on the Star Wars shelf without being laughed out of the Cantina. Perhaps with a more coordinated and thought-through run-up to a Solo sequel (more Enfys Nest please!) this offshoot might have legs.
  
Avengers: Endgame (2019)
Avengers: Endgame (2019)
2019 | Sci-Fi, Thriller
Sheer scope and spectacle (2 more)
satisfying conclusion to the Infinity/Avengers saga
Pretty much a 90 minute end battle scene
Unfair arc for some characters (1 more)
The end of an era! #cry
Love you 3000 - *Seriously - S P O I L E R S*
Contains spoilers, click to show
Well, what a long, strange, amazing trip it's been.

Assuming that everyone who sees this film is invested in the MCU, this doesn't disappoint. Although I'm a fan of the comics, you can't really compare the comic universe to the cinematic universe in terms of plot, it stands alone with its own intricacies, strengths and weaknesses.

I don't have a lot of negative things to say about this one, it's an involving, dramatic, action packed and beautiful piece of work from the Russo brothers, but I'll start with the one or two gripes I had.

From the start, they went with an odd route, one that I wasn't expecting . *SPOILERS* - Thanos as we know him, dies in the first 15 minutes of the film. Honestly was not expecting that. Robbed the satisfaction of build up for me, but ultimately the build up starts again, as the Avengers then go about stopping an alternate timeline Thanos from BEFORE the events of Guardians of the Galaxy by going to retrieve the infinity stones from different points in time (and the MCU movies), before Thanos finds them, so all is not lost on that front, there's still a Thanos to face.

One gripe was the arc of one particular character - our big green rage machine. After the events of infinity war, you'll remember, Hulk was left somewhat lacking, after getting his arse handed to him by Thanos and then refusing to come out for the rest of the film. I felt there was atonement due for him. Here we see Banner has now found catharsis with the Hulk, by staying in Hulk form with his own personality in the five years since the snap. That's all well and good, but after the death of a certain other member of the Avengers after retrieving the Soulstone, I thought - right. Now Hulk will smash. Now we have to see him go ham on someone. Nothing. Not even an action shot of Hulk fighting in the entire last battle scene, which only would have taken 20 seconds out of an entire 90 minute battle. I would have liked to have seen Hulk Vs Thanos, even if for a brief moment, whether Banner came out on top or not. Banner actually using his own anger, which by his own admission in Avengers Assemble, he has. All the time. It felt an unfair way to end one of the major characters stories, for seemingly what would have taken so little to make. it's not like they lacked the CGI budget, after all. Instead, Scarlet Witch gets a showdown with Thanos, and she's not even a particularly major player within the Avengers team, again don't get me wrong, after Vision she deserves a shot. But Hulk more so... It seemed silly to me.

The other negative for me, was Thor. Another slightly disappointing arc for the god of thunder. I felt he was robbed of all the awesomeness Taika rejuvenated him with from Ragnarok, which then continued into Infinity War. They turned him into God of amazing lightning and patron saint of badassery, with a new axe that just gives him a look as cool as they other side of the pillow. Now, the Russo's have had him drink himself to death, making him bloated and filled with sadness and regret. Don't get me wrong. Thor has more reason than most to be that way, he's lost everything over his story arc. I think that by letting him kill Thanos at the beginning, they robbed him of his real purpose, which is to be the strongest of the avengers (arguably) and just be the badass we all know he is. The one positive thing about this, is Thor's new aesthetic actually makes him look like a viking, which was amazing. Braided beard, heavy set, long hair. Great stuff, made him feel much more realistic in that sense, just again I think it was a bit of an unfair arc for him. Although, as he's now set to join GOTG, there's plenty of time to atone.

That's my two cents on the negs of this one. Now for positives:

My god, the scope and sheer spectacle of the MCU films rarely disappoint, this is no exception. just some absolutely jaw dropping sequences, especially when you have the big three (Stark, Cap and Thor) trying to stop Thanos before the major battle scene. It's stuff to make you weep tears of pure joy.

Following on from that, the moment where it's confirmed the snap has been reversed and the portals open up, the armies of Wakanda come out chanting along with just EVERYBODY, and that Avengers music starts up... goosebumps just thinking about it.

The involvement and rounding of previous MCU films in the first half of the movie is intense and satisfying, as the group split up into different places in time to retrieve the stones. Lots of nods to different franchises, nice bit of exposition, and certain parts in particular are just happy, like seeing Tony talking to his father back in the 70's without him realising who he is. Wonderful Stuff.

We all knew there would be deaths, I felt that these were handled gracefully and tactfully, giving the best service for the characters and fans. At the same time, they were not predictable, which i felt was definitely important.

As a last word, anyone who's ever watched a marvel film or had interest in the comics needs to see this. There is a list published of the films you need to see beforehand to fully appreciate the time travel segments, but it's not absolutely necessary. It just helps you appreciate the thought that has gone into rounding off the biggest cinematic series in history, all the in jokes and nuances that the Russo's included to really make this serviceable to the fans.

The end of an era, and as a crescendo to the the symphony started by the rest of MCU, it's just plain beautiful.

Love you 3000, folks.

- Rob
  
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
It took me over a month to get around to seeing this last night at the cinema. Not because I didn’t want to see the end of the new trilogy and say goodbye to it in style, but because I feared it just wouldn’t be very good. Put simply, it isn’t very good. Some parts, in fact, are downright awful. But it isn’t terrible either. I can’t say I hated it – I had fun; I enjoyed it for what it was, and some small moments in isolation were very well done indeed. However…

The first thing that struck me was the pace and editing style, which seemed at last to fully embrace a Disney theme park ethos of let’s get to it and keep it moving. No notion of setting mood and re-establishing character, but rather a sense of we have a lot to fit in here so let’s get it out of the way as quickly as possible. It didn’t feel to me like it was allowed to sit at any point and just be brooding, or meaningful in any way. Which may work for the short attention spans of your average 9 year old, but for older fans who have literally waited 42 years to see an ending, it felt rushed, trivial and far too flippant.

The spectacle was very much there still. The landscape of alien worlds, creatures, droids and other necessary weirdness is all there in spades! It just feels like you would need to go back and press the pause button to see it all. And before we know what is happening (or why), Palpatine is back in business and everyone is looking for some lame GPS green triangle thingy. Forget almost everything in the story that has led to this point, this is an adventure that exists in a vacuum of space, and you either shrug and go with it, or get very annoyed. I chose the shrug.

Before we really settle into what is going on, we start to see the power of The Force flowing through Rey in ways it has never done before… she can heal, she virtually flies, and she can even teleport objects to a different physical place at will. She has become more like Neo from The Matrix than anything Skywalker. More like a Marvel superhero than anything grounded in an ancient mysticism that acts subtly at moments of great need. What that does is immediately lower the stakes, because if anything is possible, and therefore probable, there is no threat of failure. And if this movie lacks anything essential it is threat.

That said, the reanimation of Emperor Palpatine was nicely creepy, at least in a visual and vocal sense. And the journey of the excellent Adam Driver as Ben Solo / Kylo Ren remained the most interesting and satisfying thing about the whole reboot. I found myself just wanting to focus on him more and more, and felt frustrated when, typically, his key progression moments were over too soon or given away too cheaply from a dramatic context.

I have mixed feelings also about the level of mirroring and call-backs to moments from previous films. Some really worked, but many fell flat. It began to feel like a greatest hits checklist, which, of course, was a criticism of JJ Abrams’ directing style in The Force Awakens, too. He has been so much more concerned with giving fans sugary little treats, as opposed to cooking up a satisfying meal that nourishes in it’s own right – indicative of a 21st century audience that often demands its pudding before it has finished its greens.

Look, I enjoy a nostalgia trip as much as the next uber-geek, but I do also like my fantasy sci-fi to be based on an idea of weight and gravitas. Eschew that aspect and the climax is going to fall a little flat… which, I think it did. Our empathy for Rey, and in fact all of the new gang, is simply not as strong as it should have been. Daisy Ridley does a decent job, and I don’t blame her at all – I have no problem with any of the supporting cast either, but what a shame too many of them almost fade away into mere scene dressing by the end.

Very telling then, that my favourite bit by far was a 15 minute giggling fit brought on by that one, already infamous detail, when tiny weirdo Babu Frik completely misses the mood of the room and screeches his “Hey Heeeeeey!” Only to pop up again later with an equally hilarious repeat. Probably the funniest moment in any Star Wars film, bar none. Worth the ticket price alone, and I am still having regular flashbacks that leave me in fits of laughter!

So, that’s it is it? Over and done with? Well, they certainly wrapped it up in a bow, coming full circle in fairly satisfying style. With just a cheeky hint that the roots of a continuation at some point are buried within shallow reach. No doubt, amateur writers everywhere have already had a pop at what happens next. The Force is balanced, the prophecy fulfilled, but it wouldn’t take much to tip the galaxy back into turmoil, as soon as Disney fancies another few billion in ticket sales.

Personally, I don’t want to be cynical about a franchise that has been a part of me since I was 3 years old, and been such a good friend. However, I am perfectly fine with having it remain as a source for backstories and origin tales. The main saga is over, so let’s leave it alone. Episodes IV – VI will always remain the best; they won’t go anywhere. So any shortcomings can be easily solved… just watch The Empire Strikes Back again, not worrying about anything else, but revelling in just how perfect it is, and how lucky we are that it is there for us.