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Gareth von Kallenbach (971 KP) rated Savages (2012) in Movies
Aug 7, 2019
Over the past 15 years, Oliver Stone’s films have been kind of hit or miss to me. It’s as if Stone is still trying to make the same controversial films he became popular for in the 80’s and early 90’s. Only, as an audience, we have become keen to his filmmaking style and therefore his more recent work suffers from the apathy of a “show me something new” culture. Still, despite his failures, Stone does not makes apologies for his work while he continues in his quest to make films about controversial subjects. This time around Stone strives to take us into the violent world of the Mexican drug cartels though a film adaptation of the novel Savages by Don Winslow.
As the film opens we are introduced to “O” (Blake Lively) who, as our narrator, acquaints us with the open yet loving relationship she shares with our two protagonists, Chon and Ben. Chon (Taylor Kitsch), an ex-Navy SEAL, is unquestionably the muscle of the trio’s operation. Chon was the original financier for his high school friend Ben, (Aaron Johnson) the peaceful, charitable, botany genius who has created the most potent marijuana in the world. Together these two embody the perfect man for O, while the three of them enjoy the spoils of the small marijuana empire they created in southern California.
That is until they gain the attention from a Mexican cartel intent on creating a stronger foothold in the southern California area. The cartel offers them a partnership and explains that by teaming up their business will triple in three years. But when the trio refuse the offer, the ruthless head of the cartel, Elena (Selma Hayek), instructs her enforcer, Lado (Benicio Del Toro), to kidnap O and hold her hostage so the boys will cooperate. Soon our heroes use their network of connections, like crooked DEA agent Dennis (John Travolta) and financial broker Spin (Emile Hirsch), to battle the cartel in a series of savage maneuvers to get back their one “shared” love.
Stone has been known to inspire his actors to give Oscar worthy performances. Sadly, you will not find any such performances here. That is not to say that the acting was terrible. It just seemed that the characters themselves are uninspired which is a shame because I would have liked to have seen some growth in this young cast, especially from Taylor Kitsch.
I feel that many critics will be hard on Taylor Kitsch because of his previous epic fails of 2012 (John Carter and Battleship) however I am surprised to admit that, for this movie at least, he gets a pass in my book. Not because he delivers a fantastic performance that makes me believe he’s truly an up and coming talent, but rather because he is convincing in his portrayal of Chon. When O describes our protagonists as each being one half of the perfect man, she refers to Chon as “Hard Steel,” which is exactly what Kitsch plays him as, a one-dimensional, emotionally devoid character with no growth or any real redeeming qualities other than the ability to go to war. Regardless of whether or not Kitsch has any additional acting range not showcased in this film, I cannot penalize him for his performance in this movie. He fit the part that he was cast in fine.
Blake Lively (Gossip Girl, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) plays O, short for Ophelia. And yes she channels the mad, love-struck, melancholic character from Hamlet after whom she is named. And while it is easy to make those comparisons to the character of this film, they only appear to be on the surface, if anything. And herein lies the problem. Regardless of how you feel about her open relationship with Ben and Chon, the more I learned about her, the less I cared. Like Kitsch’s character, O is boring and one dimensional. She is the product of being a pretty little rich girl whose mother is off somewhere with husband number twelve. She has been getting stoned every day since she was young and the only place she finds herself loved is in with the company of Chon and Ben. Tragic, I know. While watching the film I honestly thought to myself, if I was Ben or Chon, I would say, “Fuck it. Cut her loose and let’s go to Asia.” She has no redeeming qualities other than being good looking and a good lay. So why would they go through so much trouble for her? The trio’s relationship is weakly tied together by her telling us through narration but never really materializes on screen. At times you get some of a feeling that Ben actually loves her but that love is never really reciprocated from O. It is safe to say that that I did not derive any loving connection from Lively’s performance, though her deliver as a narrator was tolerable.
Aaron Johnson (Kick-Ass) is the one redeeming performance from this young cast. In contrast to Chon, O describes Ben as “Soft Wood” which makes him the better half. Ben is the one character who actually goes through some kind of character arc and growth. Using the wood analogy, we watch him bend from the peaceful Buddhist businessman to the man who will sacrifice everything, to get back this woman he loves. Nowhere is this better embodied than when Ben is faced with the tough choice of sticking to his peaceful beliefs or incinerating a man in cold blood during one of their moves against the cartel. I found myself actually curious about what Ben would do next. Unlike Chon and O, Ben has some depth and struggles with his personal beliefs, his love for O and what needs to be done. Needless to say, Johnson delivers a believable performance that actually helps move along the action and was the only protagonist that kept me interested in their battle.
In addition to Johnson, the film is littered with several strong supporting cast members who all deliver solid performances. Selma Hayek is strong as Elena, the leader of the cartel that challenges Ben and Chon. She is a ruthless and shrewd businesswoman and yet has a better “sense of morality” as she explains during her interactions with O and her own daughter. Her enforcer Lado is played by Benicio Del Toro who, with the help of an uncomfortable rapist mustache, comes off as an extremely menacing character. Del Toro solidifies himself on screen by being down right creepy and yet intelligent in his own savage way. During every moment of screen time you expect him to kill someone just because it is good for business.
A needed bit of change of pace is provided by an unexpected performance by Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild) as Ben and Chon’s witty financial broker, Spin. As well as by John Travolta who plays Dennis, the dirty DEA agent who’s in Ben and Chon’s pocket. In fact, even though Travolta’s screen time is maybe a total of 12 minutes, his performance steals the show with his sole bit of comic relief, for lack of a better explanation. Perhaps the strongest acted moment of this film is during a standoff scene between Del Toro and Travolta that in many ways makes me want to know more about those characters. And what that movie would be about.
In typical Stone fashion the movie is shot in a variety of film angles and stylistic devices used to foreshadow and at times create a foreboding presence. Visually the movie provides a strong and believable feeling for the world these characters live in and the way that they operate their business. In addition, narration is used at points to move along the action and provide the audience with insight that otherwise would not have been possible on performances alone. I personally have no problem with narration as long as it is set up from the beginning and used to advance the story, which it is. However in the final act, the movie introduces a film device from left field that completely kills the already weak pacing of the movie. I cannot get into it without giving away the story, but I can see how this device could completely ruin the movie for those patrons who are already disinterested by the time the final act rolls around. Especially for those who do not find any connection to any of the characters. In which case, the pacing of this film will seem slow and drawn out.
I am torn about my review of this film. Savages is something that I wanted to like more than I did. Two of the three protagonists are one dimensional and if it was not for Johnson and the strong supporting cast I might have found the movie boring. It was also completely different from the expectations set by the commercials. Those looking for an action movie will feel misled and will more than likely be disappointed with the film. Not that there is not any action, only it comes between very long periods of dialogue and slow pacing. By the end of the movie, you are either invested in these characters or just waiting for the lights to come up in the theater. And in typical Oliver Stone fashion the movie tries to make us question our own perception of just what it means to be a savage.
As the film opens we are introduced to “O” (Blake Lively) who, as our narrator, acquaints us with the open yet loving relationship she shares with our two protagonists, Chon and Ben. Chon (Taylor Kitsch), an ex-Navy SEAL, is unquestionably the muscle of the trio’s operation. Chon was the original financier for his high school friend Ben, (Aaron Johnson) the peaceful, charitable, botany genius who has created the most potent marijuana in the world. Together these two embody the perfect man for O, while the three of them enjoy the spoils of the small marijuana empire they created in southern California.
That is until they gain the attention from a Mexican cartel intent on creating a stronger foothold in the southern California area. The cartel offers them a partnership and explains that by teaming up their business will triple in three years. But when the trio refuse the offer, the ruthless head of the cartel, Elena (Selma Hayek), instructs her enforcer, Lado (Benicio Del Toro), to kidnap O and hold her hostage so the boys will cooperate. Soon our heroes use their network of connections, like crooked DEA agent Dennis (John Travolta) and financial broker Spin (Emile Hirsch), to battle the cartel in a series of savage maneuvers to get back their one “shared” love.
Stone has been known to inspire his actors to give Oscar worthy performances. Sadly, you will not find any such performances here. That is not to say that the acting was terrible. It just seemed that the characters themselves are uninspired which is a shame because I would have liked to have seen some growth in this young cast, especially from Taylor Kitsch.
I feel that many critics will be hard on Taylor Kitsch because of his previous epic fails of 2012 (John Carter and Battleship) however I am surprised to admit that, for this movie at least, he gets a pass in my book. Not because he delivers a fantastic performance that makes me believe he’s truly an up and coming talent, but rather because he is convincing in his portrayal of Chon. When O describes our protagonists as each being one half of the perfect man, she refers to Chon as “Hard Steel,” which is exactly what Kitsch plays him as, a one-dimensional, emotionally devoid character with no growth or any real redeeming qualities other than the ability to go to war. Regardless of whether or not Kitsch has any additional acting range not showcased in this film, I cannot penalize him for his performance in this movie. He fit the part that he was cast in fine.
Blake Lively (Gossip Girl, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) plays O, short for Ophelia. And yes she channels the mad, love-struck, melancholic character from Hamlet after whom she is named. And while it is easy to make those comparisons to the character of this film, they only appear to be on the surface, if anything. And herein lies the problem. Regardless of how you feel about her open relationship with Ben and Chon, the more I learned about her, the less I cared. Like Kitsch’s character, O is boring and one dimensional. She is the product of being a pretty little rich girl whose mother is off somewhere with husband number twelve. She has been getting stoned every day since she was young and the only place she finds herself loved is in with the company of Chon and Ben. Tragic, I know. While watching the film I honestly thought to myself, if I was Ben or Chon, I would say, “Fuck it. Cut her loose and let’s go to Asia.” She has no redeeming qualities other than being good looking and a good lay. So why would they go through so much trouble for her? The trio’s relationship is weakly tied together by her telling us through narration but never really materializes on screen. At times you get some of a feeling that Ben actually loves her but that love is never really reciprocated from O. It is safe to say that that I did not derive any loving connection from Lively’s performance, though her deliver as a narrator was tolerable.
Aaron Johnson (Kick-Ass) is the one redeeming performance from this young cast. In contrast to Chon, O describes Ben as “Soft Wood” which makes him the better half. Ben is the one character who actually goes through some kind of character arc and growth. Using the wood analogy, we watch him bend from the peaceful Buddhist businessman to the man who will sacrifice everything, to get back this woman he loves. Nowhere is this better embodied than when Ben is faced with the tough choice of sticking to his peaceful beliefs or incinerating a man in cold blood during one of their moves against the cartel. I found myself actually curious about what Ben would do next. Unlike Chon and O, Ben has some depth and struggles with his personal beliefs, his love for O and what needs to be done. Needless to say, Johnson delivers a believable performance that actually helps move along the action and was the only protagonist that kept me interested in their battle.
In addition to Johnson, the film is littered with several strong supporting cast members who all deliver solid performances. Selma Hayek is strong as Elena, the leader of the cartel that challenges Ben and Chon. She is a ruthless and shrewd businesswoman and yet has a better “sense of morality” as she explains during her interactions with O and her own daughter. Her enforcer Lado is played by Benicio Del Toro who, with the help of an uncomfortable rapist mustache, comes off as an extremely menacing character. Del Toro solidifies himself on screen by being down right creepy and yet intelligent in his own savage way. During every moment of screen time you expect him to kill someone just because it is good for business.
A needed bit of change of pace is provided by an unexpected performance by Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild) as Ben and Chon’s witty financial broker, Spin. As well as by John Travolta who plays Dennis, the dirty DEA agent who’s in Ben and Chon’s pocket. In fact, even though Travolta’s screen time is maybe a total of 12 minutes, his performance steals the show with his sole bit of comic relief, for lack of a better explanation. Perhaps the strongest acted moment of this film is during a standoff scene between Del Toro and Travolta that in many ways makes me want to know more about those characters. And what that movie would be about.
In typical Stone fashion the movie is shot in a variety of film angles and stylistic devices used to foreshadow and at times create a foreboding presence. Visually the movie provides a strong and believable feeling for the world these characters live in and the way that they operate their business. In addition, narration is used at points to move along the action and provide the audience with insight that otherwise would not have been possible on performances alone. I personally have no problem with narration as long as it is set up from the beginning and used to advance the story, which it is. However in the final act, the movie introduces a film device from left field that completely kills the already weak pacing of the movie. I cannot get into it without giving away the story, but I can see how this device could completely ruin the movie for those patrons who are already disinterested by the time the final act rolls around. Especially for those who do not find any connection to any of the characters. In which case, the pacing of this film will seem slow and drawn out.
I am torn about my review of this film. Savages is something that I wanted to like more than I did. Two of the three protagonists are one dimensional and if it was not for Johnson and the strong supporting cast I might have found the movie boring. It was also completely different from the expectations set by the commercials. Those looking for an action movie will feel misled and will more than likely be disappointed with the film. Not that there is not any action, only it comes between very long periods of dialogue and slow pacing. By the end of the movie, you are either invested in these characters or just waiting for the lights to come up in the theater. And in typical Oliver Stone fashion the movie tries to make us question our own perception of just what it means to be a savage.
5 Minute Movie Guy (379 KP) rated If I Stay (2014) in Movies
Jun 28, 2019
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. That’s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that she’s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, she’s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether it’s really even worth it to endure life’s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.
Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.
Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.
First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.
If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.
(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)
Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.
Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.
First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.
If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.
(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)
Dana (24 KP) rated Crooked Kingdom in Books
Mar 23, 2018
This post will 100% be full of spoilers for both the first book and this book, so if you have not read either, please leave the post now, because you need to read this series. The review will be here when you get back, I promise.
Can I just say that Leigh Bardugo is a phenomenal writer? I just want to put that out there first, so we can move on to some more interesting stuff, but damn. That woman is a genius when it comes to the written word! Her plot lines are almost always amazing and her characters are just, wow!
Okay, so let's start off with the overall plot arc. As much as I hated the beginning because Inej wasn't with the crew, it was so cool to get the other characters working together to try to help save her. I do enjoy the fact that saving her wasn't the biggest aspect of the plot. If it was, I don't think it would have been as convincing of a story. Then we move on to revenge as the rest of the plot. I just want to say that I freaking love revenge plots. They give purpose to everything that each character does, and just moves the story along well!
The fact that we weren't just tied to this book was great too! I loved how we got characters from the Grisha Trilogy in here. I was hoping that we would get more than just the mention that was given to us in the last book, but we got Genya, Zora and freaking Nikolai! They were amazing and brought more depth to the story that we may not have gotten without them.
I loved how Kaz was able to plan out every step in detail, assuming what people would do next. He is a master at his craft, I will tell you that.
Okay, so now onto some character studies:
I am going to start out with Nina. That girl has been through so much already, and it never fully gets better for her. From having to deal with the side effects of the withdrawls from Jurda Parem, having her best friend kidnapped, to having to find out her powers have been altered, to having the love of her life ripped from her, she does not have a good time in this book! I just wanted to wrap her up in a coat and feed her waffles, but she doesn't even really get those either! I just hope that she is able to find peace in Ravka with her fellow Grisha.
Now onto Matthias. He was honestly one of my favorite characters. The way he would try not to like or agree with the Dregs' way of doing things was just so hilarious and when he would try to fend off Nina's advances, I would actually cackle. He was the signal of change in the book. The proof that things could get better, but even that failed him. In his attempt to share the light of truth onto another Druskelle, he was inevitably killed for his beliefs. At least he finally got to kiss Nina, even if it was one of his final acts.
Now we are moving on to Jeseper. We got to meet his dad! Woo!! That was a really interesting relationship and backstory. I really like how sassy he is at all times, even if his sarcasm gets him in to trouble more times than not. Also, I love how he is a great shot because of his innate Grisha abilities. That was freaking amazing and I am so damn happy about it. I also love how smitten he is with Wylan. Like, for Christ's sake he calls him Wy when he starts crying. They are each others' rocks in the seas of shit that they cling to for dear life.
It's Wylan's turn! I hated how he wasn't fully himself for most of the book, but mostly I hated how inadequate he made himself feel. He is a genius and he shouldn't think anything less of himself. His relationship with his mother (who ISN'T dead?!?!?!?) is so sweet. But his brutality and unforgiving nature that shows up throughout the book was kind of a shock. He had been so mousy and quiet in the first book, but boy did that boy spit fire once he found out his father's assholishness. His back story is so tragic, like his father tried to straight up have him murdered when he thought he was just going off to a school that could actually make him happy. Jan Van Ick (lol) deserved every bit of punishment he got. I am glad he got what he wanted out of life. I also am in love with how he and Jesper first met.
Kuwei's got to get a little paragraph too. He is kind of annoying. I decided I didn't overly like him when he tricked Jesper into kissing him. Like, I totally understand, Jes is amazing, but he is TAKEN by my favorite ginger. Step back! I do, however, hope he is successful in finding a cure for Parem and making sure it does not get into the wrong hands.
Off to my boy Kaz. He makes himself out to be this stone cold guy with no feelings, but we all know how much of a lie that is. Holy hell, that boy is smitten with Inej. He takes every precaution he possibly can with her, much to her chagrin, but he just wants her safe. I was constantly yelling at my book, and therefore at him, to just take a chance! Tell Inej how you feel and why you are the way you are, but he wouldn't!!! It was so frustrating! But then, that moment when he is changing her bandages was so freaking tense. Like, they didn't even do anything, but damn, the tension in that room could have hurt someone. And then, at the end when he got her the boat AND found her parents, I almost died. I was so freaking happy he finally did something with his feelings, even if he didn't fully tell her, I think she got the hint. He even got the Menagerie to be shut down and burned, if that doesn't scream romance (from him), I don't know what does! And him getting the Dregs back was such a cool power move! He got every bit of revenge he wanted, including scaring the shit out of Pekka Rollins. So freaking good! Brick by brick bitches!
And finally, it's time for my favorite: Inej. Just like Nina, she has been through too much shit for her being such a youngin'. I am so glad she is okay and that she got her family (all of her family, including the Dregs) back in her life! She has a boat and she gets to go stop human trafficking (something that is really important and actually needs to be done in real life! Go to GAATW.org to find more information on how to stop this human rights violation). I think Inej is so strong in everything she does, but she still has those moments of doubt. When she goes against her "shadow" as she calls her, there are hesitations. She is only able to succeed when she gives in to all of her, both the Wraith and the Acrobat. That is something I think is really striking about her as a character. She isn't just one thing, she compartmentalizes herself, but once she comes together as a whole person, she is better for it. I think Leigh did a great job making Inej into someone to emulate toward (you know, minus the killing thing).
I'm going to write some of my favorite quotes out here, so bear with me for a bit:
"You are forsaken. As you have turned your back on me, so will they turn their backs on you." Inej, 64
"People point guns at each other all the time in Ketterdam. It's basically a handshake." Jesper, 79.
"Vile, ruthless, amoral. Isn't that why you hired Kaz in the first place? Becouse he does the things that no one else dares? Go on, Van Eck. Break my legs and see what happens. Dare him." Inej, 104
"When you were outgunned and out manned, you sought the less defended targets." Matthais, 107
"I would come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together--knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting." Kaz, 185
"Because through it all, he'd believed that he deserved his father's contempt, and now he could admit that somewhere, in some buried place, he'd hoped there might still be a way back to his father's good favor. Well, his father could keep that good favor and see what it brought him when Kaz Brekker was finished." Wylan, 223
"You aren't a flower, you're every blossom in the world blooming at once. You are a tidal wave. You're a stampede. You are overwhelming." Matthias, 233
"When Inej was on the high wire, it became her world. She could feel its tilt and pull. It was a planet and she was its moon. There was a simplicity to it that she never felt on the swings, where she was carried away by momentum. She loved the stillness she could find on the wire, and it was something no one else understood." Inej, 272
"After all she'd endured, he was the weak one. But she would never know what it was like for him to see Nina pull her close, watch Jesper loop his arm though hers, what it was to stand in doorways and against walls and know he could never draw nearer." Kaz, 364
"Wylan summoned every bit of bravado he'd learned from Nina, the will he's learned from Matthias, the focus he'd studied in Kax, the courage he'd learned from Inej, and the wild, reckless hope he learned from Jesper, the belief that no matter the odds, somehow they would win." Wylan, 427
"But just as surely as life connected everything, so did death. It was that endless, fast-running river. She'd dipped her fingers into its current, held the eddy of its power n her hand. She was the Queen of Mourning, and in its depths, she would never drown." Nina, 455
"But what about the rest of us? What about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary. That was how you survived when you weren't chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway." Inej, 460
Overall, I freaking loved this series. I am so sad to see it go, but I was glad to be a part of it. Leigh, if you read this (which I doubt you will, but whatever) I want to thank you for your phenomenal writing in this world and I cannot wait to see what you do next!
Can I just say that Leigh Bardugo is a phenomenal writer? I just want to put that out there first, so we can move on to some more interesting stuff, but damn. That woman is a genius when it comes to the written word! Her plot lines are almost always amazing and her characters are just, wow!
Okay, so let's start off with the overall plot arc. As much as I hated the beginning because Inej wasn't with the crew, it was so cool to get the other characters working together to try to help save her. I do enjoy the fact that saving her wasn't the biggest aspect of the plot. If it was, I don't think it would have been as convincing of a story. Then we move on to revenge as the rest of the plot. I just want to say that I freaking love revenge plots. They give purpose to everything that each character does, and just moves the story along well!
The fact that we weren't just tied to this book was great too! I loved how we got characters from the Grisha Trilogy in here. I was hoping that we would get more than just the mention that was given to us in the last book, but we got Genya, Zora and freaking Nikolai! They were amazing and brought more depth to the story that we may not have gotten without them.
I loved how Kaz was able to plan out every step in detail, assuming what people would do next. He is a master at his craft, I will tell you that.
Okay, so now onto some character studies:
I am going to start out with Nina. That girl has been through so much already, and it never fully gets better for her. From having to deal with the side effects of the withdrawls from Jurda Parem, having her best friend kidnapped, to having to find out her powers have been altered, to having the love of her life ripped from her, she does not have a good time in this book! I just wanted to wrap her up in a coat and feed her waffles, but she doesn't even really get those either! I just hope that she is able to find peace in Ravka with her fellow Grisha.
Now onto Matthias. He was honestly one of my favorite characters. The way he would try not to like or agree with the Dregs' way of doing things was just so hilarious and when he would try to fend off Nina's advances, I would actually cackle. He was the signal of change in the book. The proof that things could get better, but even that failed him. In his attempt to share the light of truth onto another Druskelle, he was inevitably killed for his beliefs. At least he finally got to kiss Nina, even if it was one of his final acts.
Now we are moving on to Jeseper. We got to meet his dad! Woo!! That was a really interesting relationship and backstory. I really like how sassy he is at all times, even if his sarcasm gets him in to trouble more times than not. Also, I love how he is a great shot because of his innate Grisha abilities. That was freaking amazing and I am so damn happy about it. I also love how smitten he is with Wylan. Like, for Christ's sake he calls him Wy when he starts crying. They are each others' rocks in the seas of shit that they cling to for dear life.
It's Wylan's turn! I hated how he wasn't fully himself for most of the book, but mostly I hated how inadequate he made himself feel. He is a genius and he shouldn't think anything less of himself. His relationship with his mother (who ISN'T dead?!?!?!?) is so sweet. But his brutality and unforgiving nature that shows up throughout the book was kind of a shock. He had been so mousy and quiet in the first book, but boy did that boy spit fire once he found out his father's assholishness. His back story is so tragic, like his father tried to straight up have him murdered when he thought he was just going off to a school that could actually make him happy. Jan Van Ick (lol) deserved every bit of punishment he got. I am glad he got what he wanted out of life. I also am in love with how he and Jesper first met.
Kuwei's got to get a little paragraph too. He is kind of annoying. I decided I didn't overly like him when he tricked Jesper into kissing him. Like, I totally understand, Jes is amazing, but he is TAKEN by my favorite ginger. Step back! I do, however, hope he is successful in finding a cure for Parem and making sure it does not get into the wrong hands.
Off to my boy Kaz. He makes himself out to be this stone cold guy with no feelings, but we all know how much of a lie that is. Holy hell, that boy is smitten with Inej. He takes every precaution he possibly can with her, much to her chagrin, but he just wants her safe. I was constantly yelling at my book, and therefore at him, to just take a chance! Tell Inej how you feel and why you are the way you are, but he wouldn't!!! It was so frustrating! But then, that moment when he is changing her bandages was so freaking tense. Like, they didn't even do anything, but damn, the tension in that room could have hurt someone. And then, at the end when he got her the boat AND found her parents, I almost died. I was so freaking happy he finally did something with his feelings, even if he didn't fully tell her, I think she got the hint. He even got the Menagerie to be shut down and burned, if that doesn't scream romance (from him), I don't know what does! And him getting the Dregs back was such a cool power move! He got every bit of revenge he wanted, including scaring the shit out of Pekka Rollins. So freaking good! Brick by brick bitches!
And finally, it's time for my favorite: Inej. Just like Nina, she has been through too much shit for her being such a youngin'. I am so glad she is okay and that she got her family (all of her family, including the Dregs) back in her life! She has a boat and she gets to go stop human trafficking (something that is really important and actually needs to be done in real life! Go to GAATW.org to find more information on how to stop this human rights violation). I think Inej is so strong in everything she does, but she still has those moments of doubt. When she goes against her "shadow" as she calls her, there are hesitations. She is only able to succeed when she gives in to all of her, both the Wraith and the Acrobat. That is something I think is really striking about her as a character. She isn't just one thing, she compartmentalizes herself, but once she comes together as a whole person, she is better for it. I think Leigh did a great job making Inej into someone to emulate toward (you know, minus the killing thing).
I'm going to write some of my favorite quotes out here, so bear with me for a bit:
"You are forsaken. As you have turned your back on me, so will they turn their backs on you." Inej, 64
"People point guns at each other all the time in Ketterdam. It's basically a handshake." Jesper, 79.
"Vile, ruthless, amoral. Isn't that why you hired Kaz in the first place? Becouse he does the things that no one else dares? Go on, Van Eck. Break my legs and see what happens. Dare him." Inej, 104
"When you were outgunned and out manned, you sought the less defended targets." Matthais, 107
"I would come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together--knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting." Kaz, 185
"Because through it all, he'd believed that he deserved his father's contempt, and now he could admit that somewhere, in some buried place, he'd hoped there might still be a way back to his father's good favor. Well, his father could keep that good favor and see what it brought him when Kaz Brekker was finished." Wylan, 223
"You aren't a flower, you're every blossom in the world blooming at once. You are a tidal wave. You're a stampede. You are overwhelming." Matthias, 233
"When Inej was on the high wire, it became her world. She could feel its tilt and pull. It was a planet and she was its moon. There was a simplicity to it that she never felt on the swings, where she was carried away by momentum. She loved the stillness she could find on the wire, and it was something no one else understood." Inej, 272
"After all she'd endured, he was the weak one. But she would never know what it was like for him to see Nina pull her close, watch Jesper loop his arm though hers, what it was to stand in doorways and against walls and know he could never draw nearer." Kaz, 364
"Wylan summoned every bit of bravado he'd learned from Nina, the will he's learned from Matthias, the focus he'd studied in Kax, the courage he'd learned from Inej, and the wild, reckless hope he learned from Jesper, the belief that no matter the odds, somehow they would win." Wylan, 427
"But just as surely as life connected everything, so did death. It was that endless, fast-running river. She'd dipped her fingers into its current, held the eddy of its power n her hand. She was the Queen of Mourning, and in its depths, she would never drown." Nina, 455
"But what about the rest of us? What about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary. That was how you survived when you weren't chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway." Inej, 460
Overall, I freaking loved this series. I am so sad to see it go, but I was glad to be a part of it. Leigh, if you read this (which I doubt you will, but whatever) I want to thank you for your phenomenal writing in this world and I cannot wait to see what you do next!