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“OMG when is Purple Phoenix Games gonna review another Harry Potter game??” We listened. So here is the next installment of our unofficial Harry Potter games series. In Harry Potter: Hogwarts Battle – Defence Against the Dark Arts (which I will gladly reduce to Defence throughout the review, even though my American English Spidey-Senses are all over that spelling), players will be playing through a duel in the classroom using spells, allies, and items to push back and stun their opponent. Have you got the wand strength to stand up to your rival?
Like I just mentioned, Defence pits two players against each other in a sparring scenario. Players will be drafting cards that represent Spells to sling, Allies to aid, and Items to help knock opponents off their balance. The winner of Defence is the wizard who can stun their opponent three times. Only then will they be able to stand a chance against their dark foes.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup a game, follow the rulebook instructions to lay out the main duel board and its shuffled decks that will surround it. These include the Hogwarts deck (from which players will be purchasing cards to add to their discard piles), the Library deck (which includes only Books cards that add influence or the ability to draw the top card of the player deck), Hexes (which are placed directly in the opponent’s discard pile and must be dealt with first when in hand), and Banished cards. Each player will choose a House card and a matching mover token to be placed on the board. Likewise, each player will have a starting hand of seven Alohomora! cards, one Wand, one Cauldron, and one starter Ally: Owl, Toad, or Cat. Each player will shuffle their starting deck, drawing five for their starting hand. Determine the starting player and the duel may begin!
On a player’s turn they will first deal with any Hex cards they have acquired, following the instructions written on the card. Once cleared, the active player will play cards from their hand in any order they wish to gain Influence to purchase cards from the Classroom (market), Attack points to push back their opponent towards the Stun space, or Health points to move their own mover token one space closer to the Starting space on the board.
Cards that are purchased from the Classroom can be Items, Spells, or even Allies. Items and Spells typically provide Influence, Health, or Attack, and some will have House bonuses in addition to normal effects. In order to take advantage of the House bonus, a player will either need to be from the affiliated House, or have an active Ally belonging to the affiliated House. This is a new mechanic in this game and adds another layer of strategy to a player’s purchasing.
As wizards duel back and forth slinging Spells, recruiting and activating Allies, and using Items to push back their opponent, one wizard will be stunned. When this happens the players will reset their play areas by combining all of their cards they have in their possession. Shuffle the lot of them, draw another hand of five cards and reset their mover token back to the Starting space. The next round is ready to begin and the wizard who stuns their opponent thrice will be crowned champion! Or get an A for the day… or whatever the Common Core equivalent is nowadays.
Components. I have many great things to say about the components in this box and a couple little gripes. Gripelets, really. First gripe: the box comes with a cardstock sleeve. It is very cool and looks great, but it’s unnecessary and I find it keeps snagging on other boxes and such. Not a big deal, as I can always get rid of it, but that’s an opinion. Second, the board is very dark. It features a very dark purple (yay purple!) with black spaces upon which players move their tokens. The colors are very close under certain lighting and I wish there was even just a faint outline of the spaces in a white or gray. Lastly, and probably just me and the way I play, the Attack and Health trackers are almost completely unnecessary. I know you are supposed to take a token every time you “Gain” a Health or Attack point, but I always just keep track in my head thus negating the need for the tokens.
But onto the great. Literally everything else is great. I have always enjoyed the components in the original game, and as this one contains many of the same, I also enjoy these. The art style is interesting and pretty cool, and I really don’t mind screencaps as much as many others do. So for me, overall, I really enjoy the components here.
All in all I truly love this game. I am almost always in the mood to play Harry Potter: Hogwarts Battle, but it is cooperative and my wife doesn’t really enjoy the OG HP game. This one, however, she does enjoy because she can just flex on me and stun me into oblivion with her superior deckbuilding abilities. This one is quicker to setup and play, and holds a much smaller footprint. The mechanics are familiar without being totally duplicating, and I just love deckbuilders in general. So this one was bound to be a big hit with me from the start.
If you are looking for a great Harry Potter-themed deckbuilding game and are not completely sold on the bigger cooperative game, take a look at this much smaller two-player competitive title. Do try to take some of the cards with a grain of salt, as I am sure it is difficult to imagine having both Hermione and Draco as allies simultaneously, but it can happen in the game. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a very enthusiastic 11 / 12. Just a word of caution, try not to Flipendo your table when you lose. It won’t end well.
Like I just mentioned, Defence pits two players against each other in a sparring scenario. Players will be drafting cards that represent Spells to sling, Allies to aid, and Items to help knock opponents off their balance. The winner of Defence is the wizard who can stun their opponent three times. Only then will they be able to stand a chance against their dark foes.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup a game, follow the rulebook instructions to lay out the main duel board and its shuffled decks that will surround it. These include the Hogwarts deck (from which players will be purchasing cards to add to their discard piles), the Library deck (which includes only Books cards that add influence or the ability to draw the top card of the player deck), Hexes (which are placed directly in the opponent’s discard pile and must be dealt with first when in hand), and Banished cards. Each player will choose a House card and a matching mover token to be placed on the board. Likewise, each player will have a starting hand of seven Alohomora! cards, one Wand, one Cauldron, and one starter Ally: Owl, Toad, or Cat. Each player will shuffle their starting deck, drawing five for their starting hand. Determine the starting player and the duel may begin!
On a player’s turn they will first deal with any Hex cards they have acquired, following the instructions written on the card. Once cleared, the active player will play cards from their hand in any order they wish to gain Influence to purchase cards from the Classroom (market), Attack points to push back their opponent towards the Stun space, or Health points to move their own mover token one space closer to the Starting space on the board.
Cards that are purchased from the Classroom can be Items, Spells, or even Allies. Items and Spells typically provide Influence, Health, or Attack, and some will have House bonuses in addition to normal effects. In order to take advantage of the House bonus, a player will either need to be from the affiliated House, or have an active Ally belonging to the affiliated House. This is a new mechanic in this game and adds another layer of strategy to a player’s purchasing.
As wizards duel back and forth slinging Spells, recruiting and activating Allies, and using Items to push back their opponent, one wizard will be stunned. When this happens the players will reset their play areas by combining all of their cards they have in their possession. Shuffle the lot of them, draw another hand of five cards and reset their mover token back to the Starting space. The next round is ready to begin and the wizard who stuns their opponent thrice will be crowned champion! Or get an A for the day… or whatever the Common Core equivalent is nowadays.
Components. I have many great things to say about the components in this box and a couple little gripes. Gripelets, really. First gripe: the box comes with a cardstock sleeve. It is very cool and looks great, but it’s unnecessary and I find it keeps snagging on other boxes and such. Not a big deal, as I can always get rid of it, but that’s an opinion. Second, the board is very dark. It features a very dark purple (yay purple!) with black spaces upon which players move their tokens. The colors are very close under certain lighting and I wish there was even just a faint outline of the spaces in a white or gray. Lastly, and probably just me and the way I play, the Attack and Health trackers are almost completely unnecessary. I know you are supposed to take a token every time you “Gain” a Health or Attack point, but I always just keep track in my head thus negating the need for the tokens.
But onto the great. Literally everything else is great. I have always enjoyed the components in the original game, and as this one contains many of the same, I also enjoy these. The art style is interesting and pretty cool, and I really don’t mind screencaps as much as many others do. So for me, overall, I really enjoy the components here.
All in all I truly love this game. I am almost always in the mood to play Harry Potter: Hogwarts Battle, but it is cooperative and my wife doesn’t really enjoy the OG HP game. This one, however, she does enjoy because she can just flex on me and stun me into oblivion with her superior deckbuilding abilities. This one is quicker to setup and play, and holds a much smaller footprint. The mechanics are familiar without being totally duplicating, and I just love deckbuilders in general. So this one was bound to be a big hit with me from the start.
If you are looking for a great Harry Potter-themed deckbuilding game and are not completely sold on the bigger cooperative game, take a look at this much smaller two-player competitive title. Do try to take some of the cards with a grain of salt, as I am sure it is difficult to imagine having both Hermione and Draco as allies simultaneously, but it can happen in the game. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a very enthusiastic 11 / 12. Just a word of caution, try not to Flipendo your table when you lose. It won’t end well.
Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated The Expanse in TV
Sep 4, 2020 (Updated Feb 11, 2021)
In this particular future, where there exists a cold war tension between the splintered factions of humanity across the solar system, all is not well. Earthers, Dusters (Martians) and Skinnies (Belters) compete for resources and political strength in an ever shifting landscape of trust and betrayal. It is a sci-fi geek’s paradise, full of believable tech, an extensive character list and jargon coming out of the wazoo! It’s all very complicated… and season five just finished airing on Amazon Prime on Wednesday 3rd Feb, so I thought it a good time to talk about it in detail.
Based on the novel series by James S. A. Corey (actually the assumed name of collaborators Ty Franck and Daniel Abraham), which began in 2011 and has produced one book a year since, the TV version has been on the go since 2015, first at SyFy and then at Amazon after being cancelled unfairly, and to mass uproar from the fans, after Season three. It isn’t something you watch casually – either you are into it and make a point of obsessing about it, or you watch a few, feel completely lost and admit it isn’t for you; although you suspect it is good and you just didn’t make the effort to engage enough. Sci-fi this earnest can be like that: a little unforgiving to tourists and passers-by.
Personally, I went through 2 phases with it. The first was watching it late at night with autoplay on, falling in and out of sleep depending on how exciting what was happening was, missing a lot of the detail and feeling largely lost in space. The second was coming back to Season 4 recently (about 3 weeks ago), after taking in a full recap of the story, and becoming a true fan that couldn’t get enough of the complex web of storylines, motives and personalities. Catching up enough to have to wait a week between episodes for the last 4 weeks, which has been tremendously rewarding.
Not that I had a major problem with it from the start. I thought it had a great look and a great mood about it, but lacked some star quality in the cast and was fairly opaque storywise. It always had potential. It was a question of whether you could be bothered to invest in that, knowing that it may go nowhere or even get cancelled very quickly – the TV universe is not known for being kind to sci-fi, as die-hard fans of Firefly still weep about regularly, and quite correctly.
In season one you watch it for the only person onboard that you have heard of, namely Thomas Jane (from The Mist and The Punisher) as det. Joe Miller, a cynical sleuth complete with a great anachronistic hat, who gets wrapped up in a mystery so mysterious it is often hard to work out what he is doing at all, and why… he literally comes and goes, for reasons that become apparent in later seasons. A frustrating and yet fascinating entity that must have been a real test to get right.
The show’s main cast also take a lot of time to warm up, to the point where you wonder who they are and whether they will be in it for long? Steven Strait, Dominique Tipper, Wes Chatham and Cas Anvar, as the ragtag collective of a small ship (they eventually name The Rocinante) that finds itself at the centre of a huge political shitstorm as the last bastion of impartial hope and moral reasoning, exude such little charisma at first it all seems doomed to fail. But, something magical begins to happen, by virtue of being in their presence a lot – you start to care. And the more you care the more the subsequent events have the power to stun you sideways!
More than anything else I can think of in recent years, this is a show that rewards patient investment. You will have definite moments of wanting to quit or take a long break, but the more faith you show in it, the more it will reward you in the long run. For me it was the climax of season 3 when I realised I was 100% into it, and that everything that had happened to that point was now starting to make sense in a larger context. Basically, what you think this is and what you assume it is about early doors, is not where it ends up. It goes somewhere way better!
Perhaps because it has the support of the book series as inspiration, the writing and story arc feels stronger and stronger in time. There are to date 9 books, so there is still scope to let this run for a good few years. And it does start to feel like there is a point where it will all completely tie together. Anyway, I am rambling as much as an average episode seems to do here. The point is, there is something right on the tightrope edge of classic or near miss going on with this. The cast have all really grown into their skins and personalities, and there are some moments in seasons 4 & 5 that left me jaw dropped at their dramatic weight!
Look, this isn’t going to be for everyone. It is very easy to say “I don’t get it” and move on with this show, but I am a sci-fi veteran , if not full geek, and I now absolutely love it. Cult status then is what we are talking about here. There will be a good wait for season six now, but the cliffhanger is mouth-watering, so I am in! It’s far from impossible they will ruin the vibe at some point and it will all fall flat… or, it could become the stuff of legend. I’ll be there to find out either way. No chance I am doing 5 seasons of something to drop out at that point.
Take away the space and the spaceships and this is a story about division and rights, and the hard work it takes to meet a diplomatic solution to the many differences and grievances that exist between different tribes and factions. What will some do to gain power? What will others do to ensure freedom and justice? How easy is it to waste life in the name of a cause? Oh, yeah and there’s also the little detail of an ancient alien civilisation that have been leaving tech and artifacts all over the solar system for us to fight over and try to control. As I say, the main story element of it all still feels like a partial mystery, and I love that!
Based on the novel series by James S. A. Corey (actually the assumed name of collaborators Ty Franck and Daniel Abraham), which began in 2011 and has produced one book a year since, the TV version has been on the go since 2015, first at SyFy and then at Amazon after being cancelled unfairly, and to mass uproar from the fans, after Season three. It isn’t something you watch casually – either you are into it and make a point of obsessing about it, or you watch a few, feel completely lost and admit it isn’t for you; although you suspect it is good and you just didn’t make the effort to engage enough. Sci-fi this earnest can be like that: a little unforgiving to tourists and passers-by.
Personally, I went through 2 phases with it. The first was watching it late at night with autoplay on, falling in and out of sleep depending on how exciting what was happening was, missing a lot of the detail and feeling largely lost in space. The second was coming back to Season 4 recently (about 3 weeks ago), after taking in a full recap of the story, and becoming a true fan that couldn’t get enough of the complex web of storylines, motives and personalities. Catching up enough to have to wait a week between episodes for the last 4 weeks, which has been tremendously rewarding.
Not that I had a major problem with it from the start. I thought it had a great look and a great mood about it, but lacked some star quality in the cast and was fairly opaque storywise. It always had potential. It was a question of whether you could be bothered to invest in that, knowing that it may go nowhere or even get cancelled very quickly – the TV universe is not known for being kind to sci-fi, as die-hard fans of Firefly still weep about regularly, and quite correctly.
In season one you watch it for the only person onboard that you have heard of, namely Thomas Jane (from The Mist and The Punisher) as det. Joe Miller, a cynical sleuth complete with a great anachronistic hat, who gets wrapped up in a mystery so mysterious it is often hard to work out what he is doing at all, and why… he literally comes and goes, for reasons that become apparent in later seasons. A frustrating and yet fascinating entity that must have been a real test to get right.
The show’s main cast also take a lot of time to warm up, to the point where you wonder who they are and whether they will be in it for long? Steven Strait, Dominique Tipper, Wes Chatham and Cas Anvar, as the ragtag collective of a small ship (they eventually name The Rocinante) that finds itself at the centre of a huge political shitstorm as the last bastion of impartial hope and moral reasoning, exude such little charisma at first it all seems doomed to fail. But, something magical begins to happen, by virtue of being in their presence a lot – you start to care. And the more you care the more the subsequent events have the power to stun you sideways!
More than anything else I can think of in recent years, this is a show that rewards patient investment. You will have definite moments of wanting to quit or take a long break, but the more faith you show in it, the more it will reward you in the long run. For me it was the climax of season 3 when I realised I was 100% into it, and that everything that had happened to that point was now starting to make sense in a larger context. Basically, what you think this is and what you assume it is about early doors, is not where it ends up. It goes somewhere way better!
Perhaps because it has the support of the book series as inspiration, the writing and story arc feels stronger and stronger in time. There are to date 9 books, so there is still scope to let this run for a good few years. And it does start to feel like there is a point where it will all completely tie together. Anyway, I am rambling as much as an average episode seems to do here. The point is, there is something right on the tightrope edge of classic or near miss going on with this. The cast have all really grown into their skins and personalities, and there are some moments in seasons 4 & 5 that left me jaw dropped at their dramatic weight!
Look, this isn’t going to be for everyone. It is very easy to say “I don’t get it” and move on with this show, but I am a sci-fi veteran , if not full geek, and I now absolutely love it. Cult status then is what we are talking about here. There will be a good wait for season six now, but the cliffhanger is mouth-watering, so I am in! It’s far from impossible they will ruin the vibe at some point and it will all fall flat… or, it could become the stuff of legend. I’ll be there to find out either way. No chance I am doing 5 seasons of something to drop out at that point.
Take away the space and the spaceships and this is a story about division and rights, and the hard work it takes to meet a diplomatic solution to the many differences and grievances that exist between different tribes and factions. What will some do to gain power? What will others do to ensure freedom and justice? How easy is it to waste life in the name of a cause? Oh, yeah and there’s also the little detail of an ancient alien civilisation that have been leaving tech and artifacts all over the solar system for us to fight over and try to control. As I say, the main story element of it all still feels like a partial mystery, and I love that!
Bong Mines Entertainment (15 KP) rated The Life of Pablo by Kanye West in Music
Jun 7, 2019
Kanye West is an iconic rapper from Chicago, Illinois. Not too long ago, he released his seventh studio album, entitled, “The Life of Pablo“.
ULTRA LIGHT BEAMS
The opening track functions as a Sunday-morning church revival, where Kanye is the ordained minister. He’s standing in the pulpit, preaching a time-sensitive sermon to his loyal congregation.
His message: God over Satan, keep the faith, pray for Paris, pray for parents, and we’re living God’s dream.
West sets the tone and declares where he stands on religious and socially-driven issues.
A Gospel choir emerges. The Dream and Kelly Price reinforce West’s message by singing verses of encouragement, leading to a heartfelt testimonial by Chance The Rapper.
While the collection plates are being filled with hopes of a better tomorrow, Kirk Franklin concludes the service by praying for everyone. He uplifts those who feel they are not good enough or have said, “I’m sorry,” too many times.
Father Stretch My Hands (Pt. 1)
A spiritual figure, Pastor T.L. Barrett, ushers in the second track with praises to The Most High. Future appears for a brief moment and Kid Cudi delivers a stunning chorus.
A liberated West returns to the pulpit and gives a brief, but somewhat explicit testimony of his past and present relationships to Amber Rose and Kim Kardashian.
Father Stretch My Hands (Pt. 2)
West continues his testimony and raps about his personal experiences. He speaks on the importance of returning his wife’s phone calls and not wanting to make the same mistakes his father made. Also, he mentions the passing of the mother in Hollywood, being broke, and the reason why he broke his jaw.
West’s words hit home, making room for another liberated soul to tell his story of triumph.
Desiigner, a newly-signed artist of G.O.O.D. Music, emerges from the underbelly of the ghetto. He raps about getting money illegally, drugs, and violence-familiarized by urban-street hustlers.
Though his grim subject matter contradicts the song’s hopeful message of liberation, it somehow adds mysticism or substance to Kanye’s brutally-honest testimony.
Desiigner, blessed with a futuristic flow, highlights a few things that West’s congregation needs to examine in order to be totally liberated.
FAMOUS
Whenever an important event occurs in an urban community, an after party is sure to follow. And a host of celebrities are always on standby to attend it. The Life of Pablo is no exception.
The fourth song features Rihanna and legendary-producer Swizz Beatz. Also, it contains timeless vocals from Sister Nancy and Nina Simone.
West, no longer in church clothes, stands out lyrically with witty, braggadocios lyrics.
Whether that statement is factual or not, it’s doesn’t really matter because West believes it is.
FEEDBACK
The fifth song serves as a transformational period, where West shows signs of the old Kanye.
West doesn’t need a psychiatrist to diagnose his problems. He does that himself by wearing them on his sleeves.
LOW LIGHTS
On the sixth track, West wrote via Twitter, “I put Low Lights on my album just thinking about all the moms driving their kids to school, then going to work.”
Listeners can now relate to the everyday struggle that mothers endure.
The song features an acapella sample from “So Alive” by Kings of Tomorrow.
The woman gives a grateful-testimony of God’s graciousness over a laid-back, simple piano groove. Her honesty is felt. Also, she sounds liberated because her Creator has accepted her for who she is.
HIGH LIGHTS
From lows to high, the seventh track is in direct correlation to “Low Lights”.
West and Young Thug put on their festive robes because it’s time to celebrate life. El Debarge and The Dream chime in, and West addresses a lingering issue.
But this is only the beginning. West finishes strong with more thought-provoking lyrics.
FREESTYLE 4
The eighth track features Desiigner. Again, when he and West are together, all hell breaks loose.
The once festive scene transforms into a grimy underworld filled with a prostitute that West is explicitly lusting after. The temptation makes it difficult for him to stand on his opening statement of Jesus over Satan. But the power of darkness is more powerful than West thinks. So, he subconsciously indulges in sexual misconduct.
I LOVE KANYE
On the ninth track, West realizes that he’s at war with himself. The old Kanye, known for chopping up soul records is fighting against the new Kanye that everyone hates. But Kanye wants to go back to being sweet again if that’s even possible. His multiple egos are fighting for control over the ‘real’ Kanye.
WAVE
West doesn’t stare in the mirror for too long. On the tenth track, redemption happens. Chris Brown, disguised as an angel, comes to West’s aid by providing much-needed light.
Miraculously, the sun emerges from the shade, a bird flies out its cage, and a nostalgic feeling is felt.
West realizes that nothing is impossible because waves don’t die and feelings don’t really go away.
FML (FOR MY LADY)
On the eleventh track, West realizes what’s really important to him and that’s his wife. Someone he won’t jeopardize for no other woman. Also, his children are all layers of his soul.
The Weeknd appears in the form of West’s conscience.
West remains focused and listeners can feel the positive aura of God surrounding him. He is determined to remain faithful to only Kim, no other woman.
REAL FRIENDS
West continues his introspective outlook and raps about trust issues that everyone can relate to. His honest, down-to-earth lyrics, mixed in with Ty Dolla $ign’s vocals, paints a vivid picture. Also, it forms a collectible souvenir that hangs nicely in listeners’ collective memories.
WOLVES
The thirteenth track provides a cooling effect with wild emotions and bizarre-sounds.
The setting, maybe an extraterritorial realm in West’s subconscious mind. Perhaps, it’s the Milky Way Galaxy or a dream-state of Saturn.
A time for relaxation, preparing listeners for a surprise guest.
SILVER SURFER INTERMISSION
The fourteenth track features a phone conversation between incarcerated Max B and French Montana. Also, Max voices his gratitude to West for showing him love.
30 HOURS
On the fifteenth track, West takes a trip down memory lane and raps about an ex-girlfriend that he used to drive 30-hours to see. He used to drive from Chicago to St. Louis, St. Louis to Chicago. He recalls the good times they shared. But unfortunately, her infidelity was the reason why they broke up.
NO PARTIES IN L.A.
The sixteenth track will go down in history as a legendary bar-fest between two elite emcees. Kendrick Lamar and West rap with dope punchlines and clever metaphors over a Madlib-produced track. Once again, West is flowing like the old Kanye that people love.
FACTS
The seventeenth track is a standout anthem where West brags that Yeezy just jumped over Jumpman. He’s in boss-mode, talking that big-money talk.
FADE
The final track features Post Malone and Ty Dollar $ign. The song has a reoccurring sample from Rare Earth, “Your love is fading/I feel it fade.”
The Eli Linnetz-directed video shows Teyana Taylor explicitly dancing.
CONCLUSION
Kanye West’s “The Life of Pablo” is a memorable hip-hop album with solid content and heavy replay value.
https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/kanye-west-life-pablo/
ULTRA LIGHT BEAMS
The opening track functions as a Sunday-morning church revival, where Kanye is the ordained minister. He’s standing in the pulpit, preaching a time-sensitive sermon to his loyal congregation.
His message: God over Satan, keep the faith, pray for Paris, pray for parents, and we’re living God’s dream.
West sets the tone and declares where he stands on religious and socially-driven issues.
A Gospel choir emerges. The Dream and Kelly Price reinforce West’s message by singing verses of encouragement, leading to a heartfelt testimonial by Chance The Rapper.
While the collection plates are being filled with hopes of a better tomorrow, Kirk Franklin concludes the service by praying for everyone. He uplifts those who feel they are not good enough or have said, “I’m sorry,” too many times.
Father Stretch My Hands (Pt. 1)
A spiritual figure, Pastor T.L. Barrett, ushers in the second track with praises to The Most High. Future appears for a brief moment and Kid Cudi delivers a stunning chorus.
A liberated West returns to the pulpit and gives a brief, but somewhat explicit testimony of his past and present relationships to Amber Rose and Kim Kardashian.
Father Stretch My Hands (Pt. 2)
West continues his testimony and raps about his personal experiences. He speaks on the importance of returning his wife’s phone calls and not wanting to make the same mistakes his father made. Also, he mentions the passing of the mother in Hollywood, being broke, and the reason why he broke his jaw.
West’s words hit home, making room for another liberated soul to tell his story of triumph.
Desiigner, a newly-signed artist of G.O.O.D. Music, emerges from the underbelly of the ghetto. He raps about getting money illegally, drugs, and violence-familiarized by urban-street hustlers.
Though his grim subject matter contradicts the song’s hopeful message of liberation, it somehow adds mysticism or substance to Kanye’s brutally-honest testimony.
Desiigner, blessed with a futuristic flow, highlights a few things that West’s congregation needs to examine in order to be totally liberated.
FAMOUS
Whenever an important event occurs in an urban community, an after party is sure to follow. And a host of celebrities are always on standby to attend it. The Life of Pablo is no exception.
The fourth song features Rihanna and legendary-producer Swizz Beatz. Also, it contains timeless vocals from Sister Nancy and Nina Simone.
West, no longer in church clothes, stands out lyrically with witty, braggadocios lyrics.
Whether that statement is factual or not, it’s doesn’t really matter because West believes it is.
FEEDBACK
The fifth song serves as a transformational period, where West shows signs of the old Kanye.
West doesn’t need a psychiatrist to diagnose his problems. He does that himself by wearing them on his sleeves.
LOW LIGHTS
On the sixth track, West wrote via Twitter, “I put Low Lights on my album just thinking about all the moms driving their kids to school, then going to work.”
Listeners can now relate to the everyday struggle that mothers endure.
The song features an acapella sample from “So Alive” by Kings of Tomorrow.
The woman gives a grateful-testimony of God’s graciousness over a laid-back, simple piano groove. Her honesty is felt. Also, she sounds liberated because her Creator has accepted her for who she is.
HIGH LIGHTS
From lows to high, the seventh track is in direct correlation to “Low Lights”.
West and Young Thug put on their festive robes because it’s time to celebrate life. El Debarge and The Dream chime in, and West addresses a lingering issue.
But this is only the beginning. West finishes strong with more thought-provoking lyrics.
FREESTYLE 4
The eighth track features Desiigner. Again, when he and West are together, all hell breaks loose.
The once festive scene transforms into a grimy underworld filled with a prostitute that West is explicitly lusting after. The temptation makes it difficult for him to stand on his opening statement of Jesus over Satan. But the power of darkness is more powerful than West thinks. So, he subconsciously indulges in sexual misconduct.
I LOVE KANYE
On the ninth track, West realizes that he’s at war with himself. The old Kanye, known for chopping up soul records is fighting against the new Kanye that everyone hates. But Kanye wants to go back to being sweet again if that’s even possible. His multiple egos are fighting for control over the ‘real’ Kanye.
WAVE
West doesn’t stare in the mirror for too long. On the tenth track, redemption happens. Chris Brown, disguised as an angel, comes to West’s aid by providing much-needed light.
Miraculously, the sun emerges from the shade, a bird flies out its cage, and a nostalgic feeling is felt.
West realizes that nothing is impossible because waves don’t die and feelings don’t really go away.
FML (FOR MY LADY)
On the eleventh track, West realizes what’s really important to him and that’s his wife. Someone he won’t jeopardize for no other woman. Also, his children are all layers of his soul.
The Weeknd appears in the form of West’s conscience.
West remains focused and listeners can feel the positive aura of God surrounding him. He is determined to remain faithful to only Kim, no other woman.
REAL FRIENDS
West continues his introspective outlook and raps about trust issues that everyone can relate to. His honest, down-to-earth lyrics, mixed in with Ty Dolla $ign’s vocals, paints a vivid picture. Also, it forms a collectible souvenir that hangs nicely in listeners’ collective memories.
WOLVES
The thirteenth track provides a cooling effect with wild emotions and bizarre-sounds.
The setting, maybe an extraterritorial realm in West’s subconscious mind. Perhaps, it’s the Milky Way Galaxy or a dream-state of Saturn.
A time for relaxation, preparing listeners for a surprise guest.
SILVER SURFER INTERMISSION
The fourteenth track features a phone conversation between incarcerated Max B and French Montana. Also, Max voices his gratitude to West for showing him love.
30 HOURS
On the fifteenth track, West takes a trip down memory lane and raps about an ex-girlfriend that he used to drive 30-hours to see. He used to drive from Chicago to St. Louis, St. Louis to Chicago. He recalls the good times they shared. But unfortunately, her infidelity was the reason why they broke up.
NO PARTIES IN L.A.
The sixteenth track will go down in history as a legendary bar-fest between two elite emcees. Kendrick Lamar and West rap with dope punchlines and clever metaphors over a Madlib-produced track. Once again, West is flowing like the old Kanye that people love.
FACTS
The seventeenth track is a standout anthem where West brags that Yeezy just jumped over Jumpman. He’s in boss-mode, talking that big-money talk.
FADE
The final track features Post Malone and Ty Dollar $ign. The song has a reoccurring sample from Rare Earth, “Your love is fading/I feel it fade.”
The Eli Linnetz-directed video shows Teyana Taylor explicitly dancing.
CONCLUSION
Kanye West’s “The Life of Pablo” is a memorable hip-hop album with solid content and heavy replay value.
https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/kanye-west-life-pablo/
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated King Kong (2005) in Movies
Aug 14, 2019
Following up the box office and Oscar success of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy is an undertaking that is sure to have its dangers. Expectations of the fans notwithstanding, the ability to recapture the magic of the trilogy could be akin to capturing lightning in a bottle. When it was announced that Peter Jackson would follow his Oscar success by doing yet another adaptation of King Kong, there were plenty of questions amidst the excitement.
When an earlier remake was a critical and commercial bomb, “Would Jackson be able to do justice to one of the all time classics?” was one of the biggest questions. When it was announced that comedian Jack Black would be in the film, people began to wonder what Jackson had brewing. Black, as well as Academy Award winner Adrian Brody were seen as offbeat choices. As the release date for the film neared, so did speculation over the look of the film, the running time, and its decision to follow the screenplay of the original rather than adapt to a modern setting.
The film follows a filmmaker named Carl Denham (Jack Black), who in an act of desperation flees New York for a mysterious and uncharted island in an attempt to finish his latest movie before the studio can shut him down. Amidst the backdrop of the Great Depression, it is clear that Denham knows that failure now could be the end of his livelihood and his long term future. As he embarks on his fly by night production, Denham encounters Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts), a recently unemployed Vaudeville performer who is enticed into the film in the hopes of meeting its writer Jack Driscoll (Adrian Brody). It seems that Ann has long coveted a part in Driscoll’s plays and hopes that by meeting him, she will obtain her long sought after audition.
With the cops and studio hot on their heels, the cast and crew board a tramp steamer named “The Venture” as they set off for the mysterious island that is known only to Denham via a mysterious map he obtained through methods unknown.
As the voyage unwinds, not only does Denham get the chance to film segments of the film, but Ann and a stranded Jack find themselves becoming an item. Jack is inspired by Ann, and he works like a man inspired turning out page after page of material for various projects which he hopes Ann will star.
Eventually the ship finds its way to the mysterious Skull Island surrounded in fog, and the crew venture ashore to take in the bizarre and exotic land that has previously been unexplored. Upon finding a fortified wall and settlement the crew has a run in with some dangerous natives which in turn leads to Ann being kidnapped and offered up sacrificial style to a gigantic creature the Islanders refer to as Kong. Undaunted, Jack and the crew set off to rescue Ann while Denham shoots footage along the way, as the island offers visuals the likes of which have never been seen by mankind.
Along the way, the crew encounters deadly creatures and obstacles at every turn, as does Ann who plays a dangerous game of cat and mouse with Kong as she comes to grips with her situation. Kong is taken with the lovely Ann and protects her against numerous dangers including a pack of Tyrannosauruses in one of the film’s best action sequences.
Of course few will be surprised at the final act of the film so I will leave it to say that the fish out of water nature of the previous versions remains intact as Kong finds himself dealing with an urban jungle which leads to a spectacular finale atop the Empire State Building.
In many ways Jackson’s film is three separate films. The first hour of the film is an interesting and, at times witty, character piece where the lead characters assemble. The look of the city is amazing, making it very clear that enormous amounts of effort went into crafting the look of Depression Era New York, and to remind the audience that Prohibition was also in effect. The interplay between the characters is decent.Black does standout work as the slick Denham, as does Watts as the wholesome and lovable Ann.
The second hour of the film is the special effects showcase where the mysteries of Skull Island and Kong are shown complete with all manner of CGI creatures and action sequences. While most of them are well staged, I could not help but note that on more than one occasion the CGI backdrops did not match up well with their live action counterparts. There is one scene of a stampede where it looked like the actors had been drawn in and that they were running in place as they clearly did not mesh with the spectacle behind them.
Throughout the film this occurrence happened more and more which really had me wondering if the effects house was overtaxed. A film with a budget reportedly over 100 million should not have these technical issues. Thankfully Kong himself is a wonder, with everything from his expressive eyes and facial features, captured in a remarkable way. It is just a shame that the other effects did not get the same treatment as the films namesake, as he truly is a site to behold. Andy Serkis who did the character mannerisms for the animators program did a phenomenal job. The movements of Kong progress with a strength and agility that bellies a simian rather than a skilled performer.
I do not want it to sound as if I did not enjoy the film, as much of the film worked very well, technical issues aside. What my biggest issue with the film was that at over 3 Hours, it was far too long for the material to support. We get numerous scenes of Ann and Kong flirting, bonding, fighting, running, and more. What is cute the first couple of times becomes dull the more it is repeated. It is obvious that they have a bond; we do not need to see it over and over ad nauseum to get the message. Also, the character development and interplay between the characters that was so effective in the first part of the film all but vanishes amidst the effects.
The finale of the film is a rousing success as the daring visuals and camera angles are very inventive and thrilling. This segment with its fury of motion and sound will have viewers on the edge of their seat as it certainly delivers the goods. The biggest issue again is having to sit through three hours to get to it. Anyone who has seen either version of Kong knows exactly where the film is heading, and after two hours of screen time I found myself wishing they would just hurry up and get to it.
Jackson has crafted a very entertaining and lavish film that packs its share of thrills. What the film needed is someone to reign in Jackson and his boundless enthusiasm for the project to remind him that sometimes less is more. Jackson has said that he had over 4 hours worth of material filmed but trimmed it down to its current running time. When the film is almost twice the running time of the original, I found myself thinking that minus 45 minutes the same story could have been told.
Despite the flaws and the hype, King Kong is a solid film that for me was more satisfying in many ways than any of the “Rings” films. While not quite a masterpiece, this Kong is worthy of the name and pedigree of the timeless original that inspired it.
When an earlier remake was a critical and commercial bomb, “Would Jackson be able to do justice to one of the all time classics?” was one of the biggest questions. When it was announced that comedian Jack Black would be in the film, people began to wonder what Jackson had brewing. Black, as well as Academy Award winner Adrian Brody were seen as offbeat choices. As the release date for the film neared, so did speculation over the look of the film, the running time, and its decision to follow the screenplay of the original rather than adapt to a modern setting.
The film follows a filmmaker named Carl Denham (Jack Black), who in an act of desperation flees New York for a mysterious and uncharted island in an attempt to finish his latest movie before the studio can shut him down. Amidst the backdrop of the Great Depression, it is clear that Denham knows that failure now could be the end of his livelihood and his long term future. As he embarks on his fly by night production, Denham encounters Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts), a recently unemployed Vaudeville performer who is enticed into the film in the hopes of meeting its writer Jack Driscoll (Adrian Brody). It seems that Ann has long coveted a part in Driscoll’s plays and hopes that by meeting him, she will obtain her long sought after audition.
With the cops and studio hot on their heels, the cast and crew board a tramp steamer named “The Venture” as they set off for the mysterious island that is known only to Denham via a mysterious map he obtained through methods unknown.
As the voyage unwinds, not only does Denham get the chance to film segments of the film, but Ann and a stranded Jack find themselves becoming an item. Jack is inspired by Ann, and he works like a man inspired turning out page after page of material for various projects which he hopes Ann will star.
Eventually the ship finds its way to the mysterious Skull Island surrounded in fog, and the crew venture ashore to take in the bizarre and exotic land that has previously been unexplored. Upon finding a fortified wall and settlement the crew has a run in with some dangerous natives which in turn leads to Ann being kidnapped and offered up sacrificial style to a gigantic creature the Islanders refer to as Kong. Undaunted, Jack and the crew set off to rescue Ann while Denham shoots footage along the way, as the island offers visuals the likes of which have never been seen by mankind.
Along the way, the crew encounters deadly creatures and obstacles at every turn, as does Ann who plays a dangerous game of cat and mouse with Kong as she comes to grips with her situation. Kong is taken with the lovely Ann and protects her against numerous dangers including a pack of Tyrannosauruses in one of the film’s best action sequences.
Of course few will be surprised at the final act of the film so I will leave it to say that the fish out of water nature of the previous versions remains intact as Kong finds himself dealing with an urban jungle which leads to a spectacular finale atop the Empire State Building.
In many ways Jackson’s film is three separate films. The first hour of the film is an interesting and, at times witty, character piece where the lead characters assemble. The look of the city is amazing, making it very clear that enormous amounts of effort went into crafting the look of Depression Era New York, and to remind the audience that Prohibition was also in effect. The interplay between the characters is decent.Black does standout work as the slick Denham, as does Watts as the wholesome and lovable Ann.
The second hour of the film is the special effects showcase where the mysteries of Skull Island and Kong are shown complete with all manner of CGI creatures and action sequences. While most of them are well staged, I could not help but note that on more than one occasion the CGI backdrops did not match up well with their live action counterparts. There is one scene of a stampede where it looked like the actors had been drawn in and that they were running in place as they clearly did not mesh with the spectacle behind them.
Throughout the film this occurrence happened more and more which really had me wondering if the effects house was overtaxed. A film with a budget reportedly over 100 million should not have these technical issues. Thankfully Kong himself is a wonder, with everything from his expressive eyes and facial features, captured in a remarkable way. It is just a shame that the other effects did not get the same treatment as the films namesake, as he truly is a site to behold. Andy Serkis who did the character mannerisms for the animators program did a phenomenal job. The movements of Kong progress with a strength and agility that bellies a simian rather than a skilled performer.
I do not want it to sound as if I did not enjoy the film, as much of the film worked very well, technical issues aside. What my biggest issue with the film was that at over 3 Hours, it was far too long for the material to support. We get numerous scenes of Ann and Kong flirting, bonding, fighting, running, and more. What is cute the first couple of times becomes dull the more it is repeated. It is obvious that they have a bond; we do not need to see it over and over ad nauseum to get the message. Also, the character development and interplay between the characters that was so effective in the first part of the film all but vanishes amidst the effects.
The finale of the film is a rousing success as the daring visuals and camera angles are very inventive and thrilling. This segment with its fury of motion and sound will have viewers on the edge of their seat as it certainly delivers the goods. The biggest issue again is having to sit through three hours to get to it. Anyone who has seen either version of Kong knows exactly where the film is heading, and after two hours of screen time I found myself wishing they would just hurry up and get to it.
Jackson has crafted a very entertaining and lavish film that packs its share of thrills. What the film needed is someone to reign in Jackson and his boundless enthusiasm for the project to remind him that sometimes less is more. Jackson has said that he had over 4 hours worth of material filmed but trimmed it down to its current running time. When the film is almost twice the running time of the original, I found myself thinking that minus 45 minutes the same story could have been told.
Despite the flaws and the hype, King Kong is a solid film that for me was more satisfying in many ways than any of the “Rings” films. While not quite a masterpiece, this Kong is worthy of the name and pedigree of the timeless original that inspired it.
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Warhammer: Chaosbane in Video Games
Jul 8, 2019
There have been a lot of Warhammer games released over the past year or so. Everything from managing spaceships, to Real-Time Strategy, to Tactical Combat based games have been represented between the Warhammer and the Warhammer 40,000 universe. EKO Software and Bigben decided to add the action-RPG to the mix with their fun to play Diablo clone Warhammer: Chaosbane.
Much like the games that it takes inspiration from, you have the opportunity to pick one of four characters to battle the Lords of Chaos and bring order to the land. Your standard archetype characters are all here in standard Warhammer Fantasy. The Dwarven “Slayer” class, for those who like a barbarian class to rage havoc upon his foes, The High-Elf Mage who utilizes his magic to bring down the forces of chaos, the ho-hum Imperial Soldier who can take and deal out a huge amount of damage, and the Wood Elf who uses her bow and dagger to deal damage at a frighteningly fast pace.
Each of the characters have their own unique secondary ability that allows them to gain a strategic advantage on their foes. The Slayer can vault himself into enemies (much like the Barbarian class in Diablo), The Mage can control magical projectiles towards his targets, the Imperial soldier can shield bash targets and the Wood Elf can tumble in and out of danger. I played through the vast majority of the game as the Wood Elf and learning to use her tumble ability and stay mobile is some of the best ways to beat the bosses that you will come across.
One area where Warhammer: Chaosbane improves on the standard Diablo formula is how it handles health and energy/mana. Various items you equip can provide health regeneration on their own or you also possess the ability to use a “health Potion” that refills slowly each time you use it. Thankfully this means you don’t have individual health potions cluttering up your inventory. Mana/Energy is used for special attacks and actions…each time you use a skill some of your Mana/Energy is used. There are a few ways you can recoup your energy. The first is to use your general attacks on creatures, as you successfully hit each one your energy fills a little until it tops the meter off. The other way is to reach out to your familiar who follows you around the screen. My familiar was a butterfly that I could run over to when I’d run low on energy and it would fill my meter about half way. When you utilize your familiar in this way they must also recharge, so use them wisely.
One of the more unique items that you acquire as you slice your way through the hordes of demons and undead are Blood Orbs. Blood Orbs appear on the battlefield seemingly at random (although the more enemies you cut down the more likely they are to appear). As you acquire these orbs it fills a Blood lust meter and when full imbues your character with incredible power and near invincibility until the meter runs out. The Orbs don’t stay on the battlefield forever however, and they slowly lose power the longer you wait to gather them, so it encourages you to step out of the battle (or in my case roll out of the battle) to gather them as quickly as you can. As you progress your character you’ll be given the chance to upgrade these as well which essentially allows you to fill multiple meters and grants you this special power for longer lengths of time.
Skills are broken down into various types which allow you to outfit your character to best suit your play style. There are literally dozens of both active and passive skills to choose from, and each of these skills can be upgraded as well for improved effects or damage. As the Wood Elf Elessa, I was able to summon dryads to my side to help me deal with the hordes of enemies. In edition there are also God Skills that you acquire as you level up and complete missions. These special skills unlock more powerful abilities but also unlock traits as you apply the points. Traits such as health regeneration or critical hit chances are only some of the ones that you can unlock along the God Skill tree that give you a sense that your character is becoming more unstoppable with every skill acquired.
Unfortunately, the inconsistent voice acting is what relegates Chaosbane to being good instead of great. I made the mistake of choosing the character with the worst voice acting in the bunch and if I had played through with another character I may not have noticed how truly terrible it was. Elessa delivers her lines in an almost wooden (pun intended) manner, almost as if reading directly from a script. This gets even more noticeable when on occasion her voice changes to that of a man. The developers and testers did a good job of catching most of them, but there were at least five or six dialog trees where Elessa’s voice changed completely. I have two theories on this, my first theory (although I hadn’t confirmed this) is that the character was originally meant to be portrayed as a man and was changed to add a bit more diversity to the line-up. Not that there is anything wrong with having the main characters all be male, but it certainly could have limited the appeal of the audience. My second theory is that some of the dialog was simply place holders while they were sourcing out the right voice actors and simply missed replacing the audio bytes.
Either way, Elessa isn’t the only place where the voice acting takes a turn for the worst, other characters suffer from this fate as well. While the Warhammer games have always used bravado to deliver their dialog, it is simply too over the top in most cases. The first boss I encountered sounded like Cobra Commander who had just walked off the set of the latest GI Joe Cartoon to lead the forces of Chaos…Yo Joe! The fact that the game is voice acted entirely is something that I do applaud the developers for insisting on, it’s just disappointing that you find yourself reading through the dialog as quickly as possible and skipping the voices whenever you can.
Even with its flaws Warhammer: Chaosbane is a fun Diablo clone and an absolute blast to play. The story is forgettable, the voices laughable, but the combat scratches the same itch that any other action roleplaying game provides. There’s plenty of loot to acquire, that ranges from common to rare, and your ability to “bless” items to make them more powerful is an added bonus. There are a whopping ten levels of difficulty, each level provides for a more difficult adventure with the promise of even better loot. With both couch co-op and online multiplayer, it even harkened me back to the days of playing the original Gauntlet in the arcades. If you like the Warhammer universe and are looking for a game you can pick up and play with relative ease, then Warhammer: Chaosbane is just the game you are looking for.
What I liked: Fun combat, Amazing selection of skills, Plays equally well with keyboard/mouse or controller
What I liked less: Terrible voice acting, Repetitive loot drops, Forgettable story
Much like the games that it takes inspiration from, you have the opportunity to pick one of four characters to battle the Lords of Chaos and bring order to the land. Your standard archetype characters are all here in standard Warhammer Fantasy. The Dwarven “Slayer” class, for those who like a barbarian class to rage havoc upon his foes, The High-Elf Mage who utilizes his magic to bring down the forces of chaos, the ho-hum Imperial Soldier who can take and deal out a huge amount of damage, and the Wood Elf who uses her bow and dagger to deal damage at a frighteningly fast pace.
Each of the characters have their own unique secondary ability that allows them to gain a strategic advantage on their foes. The Slayer can vault himself into enemies (much like the Barbarian class in Diablo), The Mage can control magical projectiles towards his targets, the Imperial soldier can shield bash targets and the Wood Elf can tumble in and out of danger. I played through the vast majority of the game as the Wood Elf and learning to use her tumble ability and stay mobile is some of the best ways to beat the bosses that you will come across.
One area where Warhammer: Chaosbane improves on the standard Diablo formula is how it handles health and energy/mana. Various items you equip can provide health regeneration on their own or you also possess the ability to use a “health Potion” that refills slowly each time you use it. Thankfully this means you don’t have individual health potions cluttering up your inventory. Mana/Energy is used for special attacks and actions…each time you use a skill some of your Mana/Energy is used. There are a few ways you can recoup your energy. The first is to use your general attacks on creatures, as you successfully hit each one your energy fills a little until it tops the meter off. The other way is to reach out to your familiar who follows you around the screen. My familiar was a butterfly that I could run over to when I’d run low on energy and it would fill my meter about half way. When you utilize your familiar in this way they must also recharge, so use them wisely.
One of the more unique items that you acquire as you slice your way through the hordes of demons and undead are Blood Orbs. Blood Orbs appear on the battlefield seemingly at random (although the more enemies you cut down the more likely they are to appear). As you acquire these orbs it fills a Blood lust meter and when full imbues your character with incredible power and near invincibility until the meter runs out. The Orbs don’t stay on the battlefield forever however, and they slowly lose power the longer you wait to gather them, so it encourages you to step out of the battle (or in my case roll out of the battle) to gather them as quickly as you can. As you progress your character you’ll be given the chance to upgrade these as well which essentially allows you to fill multiple meters and grants you this special power for longer lengths of time.
Skills are broken down into various types which allow you to outfit your character to best suit your play style. There are literally dozens of both active and passive skills to choose from, and each of these skills can be upgraded as well for improved effects or damage. As the Wood Elf Elessa, I was able to summon dryads to my side to help me deal with the hordes of enemies. In edition there are also God Skills that you acquire as you level up and complete missions. These special skills unlock more powerful abilities but also unlock traits as you apply the points. Traits such as health regeneration or critical hit chances are only some of the ones that you can unlock along the God Skill tree that give you a sense that your character is becoming more unstoppable with every skill acquired.
Unfortunately, the inconsistent voice acting is what relegates Chaosbane to being good instead of great. I made the mistake of choosing the character with the worst voice acting in the bunch and if I had played through with another character I may not have noticed how truly terrible it was. Elessa delivers her lines in an almost wooden (pun intended) manner, almost as if reading directly from a script. This gets even more noticeable when on occasion her voice changes to that of a man. The developers and testers did a good job of catching most of them, but there were at least five or six dialog trees where Elessa’s voice changed completely. I have two theories on this, my first theory (although I hadn’t confirmed this) is that the character was originally meant to be portrayed as a man and was changed to add a bit more diversity to the line-up. Not that there is anything wrong with having the main characters all be male, but it certainly could have limited the appeal of the audience. My second theory is that some of the dialog was simply place holders while they were sourcing out the right voice actors and simply missed replacing the audio bytes.
Either way, Elessa isn’t the only place where the voice acting takes a turn for the worst, other characters suffer from this fate as well. While the Warhammer games have always used bravado to deliver their dialog, it is simply too over the top in most cases. The first boss I encountered sounded like Cobra Commander who had just walked off the set of the latest GI Joe Cartoon to lead the forces of Chaos…Yo Joe! The fact that the game is voice acted entirely is something that I do applaud the developers for insisting on, it’s just disappointing that you find yourself reading through the dialog as quickly as possible and skipping the voices whenever you can.
Even with its flaws Warhammer: Chaosbane is a fun Diablo clone and an absolute blast to play. The story is forgettable, the voices laughable, but the combat scratches the same itch that any other action roleplaying game provides. There’s plenty of loot to acquire, that ranges from common to rare, and your ability to “bless” items to make them more powerful is an added bonus. There are a whopping ten levels of difficulty, each level provides for a more difficult adventure with the promise of even better loot. With both couch co-op and online multiplayer, it even harkened me back to the days of playing the original Gauntlet in the arcades. If you like the Warhammer universe and are looking for a game you can pick up and play with relative ease, then Warhammer: Chaosbane is just the game you are looking for.
What I liked: Fun combat, Amazing selection of skills, Plays equally well with keyboard/mouse or controller
What I liked less: Terrible voice acting, Repetitive loot drops, Forgettable story
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Fire in the Library in Tabletop Games
Feb 11, 2020
My main job currently is working in an academic library. I have lots of different responsibilities to handle. So when I heard about a game with a title, “Fire in the Library,” I knew we HAD to play it. What employee wouldn’t want to play a game where the game ends once your workplace inevitably burns down? Imagine my giddiness as I learned this game and set it up for the first time.
Fire in the Library is a push-your-luck card game that rewards players for pushing their luck well beyond their comfort zones… but as with all push-your-luck games, defeat is also imminent.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup, each player will choose a player color, place their Libreeple (I think it’s Libreeple anyway) near the scoring track, and take the corresponding Player Reference Card. The Library will next be built from sequential Library Cards. The Library is a group of individual decks of cards arranged in a 2×2 pattern, and the card fronts create a lovely picture of the Library. Add all cubes of five different colors to the Library Bag (keeping aside 10 red “fire” cubes). Shuffle the Tool Cards deck, deal each player two Tool Cards, place the top three Tool Cards face-up next to its deck to form the Tool Card Market. Shuffle the Turn Order Cards per the player count rules in the rulebook, deal one to each player, and the game can begin!
Phase One of the game is Choosing Turn Order. Once the turn order has been established (just for the first round – after that, the player who is in last place will choose which Turn Order Card they would like to use for the round) the 1st Player will move onto Phase Two. Yes, Choosing Turn Order is an entire phase by itself. This becomes more important once I explain Tool Cards a little later.
Phase Two is the meat of the game. It is split into two sections, but they flow so nicely into each other. The active player consults their Turn Order Card to understand how many book cubes they would like to pull from the bag, thus “saving” them from the impending fire. The Turn Order Cards will have blank square spaces for “safe” areas, and spaces with fire icons in “risky” spaces. More points can be scored by placing cubes into the risky spaces, but also is more dangerous. You see, a player can pull out a red fire cube from the bag and still choose to continue to pull cubes, assuming the red cube is placed on a safe space on their card. But pull a second fire cube and their turn is immediately over. However, pulling just one red cube and having to place it in a risky space ends the turn immediately. A player can choose to stop pulling cubes at any time and earn the rewards on the Turn Order Card printed directly below the last cube placed as well as the points for each book saved, which are the large numbers printed on the Library Cards (the 2×2 grid with the picture of the Library). These rewards from the Turn Order Card could be merely a Tool Card (under safe spaces), or it could result in points on the scoreboard (under risky spaces). Even if a player busts with the red cubes, they will be able to take a Tool Card as consolation. If the active player did not bust and voluntarily stopped pulling cubes, they add their points for the turn and adjust their Libreeple accordingly. On the other hand, if a player had to end their turn due to pulling red fire cubes, then the fire spreads!
When the Fire Spreads all the books that the active player had thought they saved are burned (returned to the bag). These lost books will also cause the fire to burn down portions of the Library that match the colors of the cubes pulled. Remove the top cards for each of these cubes from the Library. Sometimes this will reveal a printed fire icon on the revealed Library cards. Every time a fire icon is revealed in this way, one of the red cubes that was set aside at setup will be added to the Library Bag – thus increasing the ratio of fire to safe books in the bag.
Phase Three is called “After Scoring.” Every Tool Card in the deck will have an icon printed to show when it can be played during a turn (check the Reference Card). The Tool Cards can be played during Choosing Turn Order, Saving Books, Fire Spreading, and After Scoring.
Once all players have had their turn for the round, a portion of the Library will burn. Remove the appropriate card (according to the rulebook). All players will have a chance to discard one of their Tool Cards and replace it with a Tool Card from the top of the deck. When complete, a new round begins. Play continues in this fashion until a section of the Library is revealed with an icon signifying the end of the game. Players will have one last round to earn as many points as— I mean, save as many books as they can.
Components. There’s a lot going on in this game, and the components are really really good. First, the game box is one of those awesome magnetic boxes (like Biblios) that unfolds and reveals the score tracker. The Libreeples are normal meeple fare, the cubes are normal cube fare, and the Library Bag is one that is loved by Guy Fieri (probably). The cards are great quality and feature really amazing artwork by Katie Khau and Beth Sobel. Overall, the components are wonderful and we really enjoyed playing with them.
As you can tell from our score, we genuinely enjoyed this game. The push-your-luck mechanic is so central to the game and the Tool Cards help to mitigate frustrating pulls, or help to manipulate other areas of the game, and we love both of those aspects. All in all, Fire in the Library is a truly enjoyable experience, and one that I find myself thinking about outside of game night. I cannot wait to play again, and hopefully save more books. I would suggest adding this to my workplace library’s board game collection, but I don’t want any students getting any great ideas… Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a hot hot hot 15 / 18. Check it out for a different take on push-your-luck, where you actually care about what you’re doing. Oh, and of course I won – I work in a college library.
Fire in the Library is a push-your-luck card game that rewards players for pushing their luck well beyond their comfort zones… but as with all push-your-luck games, defeat is also imminent.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup, each player will choose a player color, place their Libreeple (I think it’s Libreeple anyway) near the scoring track, and take the corresponding Player Reference Card. The Library will next be built from sequential Library Cards. The Library is a group of individual decks of cards arranged in a 2×2 pattern, and the card fronts create a lovely picture of the Library. Add all cubes of five different colors to the Library Bag (keeping aside 10 red “fire” cubes). Shuffle the Tool Cards deck, deal each player two Tool Cards, place the top three Tool Cards face-up next to its deck to form the Tool Card Market. Shuffle the Turn Order Cards per the player count rules in the rulebook, deal one to each player, and the game can begin!
Phase One of the game is Choosing Turn Order. Once the turn order has been established (just for the first round – after that, the player who is in last place will choose which Turn Order Card they would like to use for the round) the 1st Player will move onto Phase Two. Yes, Choosing Turn Order is an entire phase by itself. This becomes more important once I explain Tool Cards a little later.
Phase Two is the meat of the game. It is split into two sections, but they flow so nicely into each other. The active player consults their Turn Order Card to understand how many book cubes they would like to pull from the bag, thus “saving” them from the impending fire. The Turn Order Cards will have blank square spaces for “safe” areas, and spaces with fire icons in “risky” spaces. More points can be scored by placing cubes into the risky spaces, but also is more dangerous. You see, a player can pull out a red fire cube from the bag and still choose to continue to pull cubes, assuming the red cube is placed on a safe space on their card. But pull a second fire cube and their turn is immediately over. However, pulling just one red cube and having to place it in a risky space ends the turn immediately. A player can choose to stop pulling cubes at any time and earn the rewards on the Turn Order Card printed directly below the last cube placed as well as the points for each book saved, which are the large numbers printed on the Library Cards (the 2×2 grid with the picture of the Library). These rewards from the Turn Order Card could be merely a Tool Card (under safe spaces), or it could result in points on the scoreboard (under risky spaces). Even if a player busts with the red cubes, they will be able to take a Tool Card as consolation. If the active player did not bust and voluntarily stopped pulling cubes, they add their points for the turn and adjust their Libreeple accordingly. On the other hand, if a player had to end their turn due to pulling red fire cubes, then the fire spreads!
When the Fire Spreads all the books that the active player had thought they saved are burned (returned to the bag). These lost books will also cause the fire to burn down portions of the Library that match the colors of the cubes pulled. Remove the top cards for each of these cubes from the Library. Sometimes this will reveal a printed fire icon on the revealed Library cards. Every time a fire icon is revealed in this way, one of the red cubes that was set aside at setup will be added to the Library Bag – thus increasing the ratio of fire to safe books in the bag.
Phase Three is called “After Scoring.” Every Tool Card in the deck will have an icon printed to show when it can be played during a turn (check the Reference Card). The Tool Cards can be played during Choosing Turn Order, Saving Books, Fire Spreading, and After Scoring.
Once all players have had their turn for the round, a portion of the Library will burn. Remove the appropriate card (according to the rulebook). All players will have a chance to discard one of their Tool Cards and replace it with a Tool Card from the top of the deck. When complete, a new round begins. Play continues in this fashion until a section of the Library is revealed with an icon signifying the end of the game. Players will have one last round to earn as many points as— I mean, save as many books as they can.
Components. There’s a lot going on in this game, and the components are really really good. First, the game box is one of those awesome magnetic boxes (like Biblios) that unfolds and reveals the score tracker. The Libreeples are normal meeple fare, the cubes are normal cube fare, and the Library Bag is one that is loved by Guy Fieri (probably). The cards are great quality and feature really amazing artwork by Katie Khau and Beth Sobel. Overall, the components are wonderful and we really enjoyed playing with them.
As you can tell from our score, we genuinely enjoyed this game. The push-your-luck mechanic is so central to the game and the Tool Cards help to mitigate frustrating pulls, or help to manipulate other areas of the game, and we love both of those aspects. All in all, Fire in the Library is a truly enjoyable experience, and one that I find myself thinking about outside of game night. I cannot wait to play again, and hopefully save more books. I would suggest adding this to my workplace library’s board game collection, but I don’t want any students getting any great ideas… Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a hot hot hot 15 / 18. Check it out for a different take on push-your-luck, where you actually care about what you’re doing. Oh, and of course I won – I work in a college library.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Tiny Epic Mechs in Tabletop Games
Jun 30, 2021
I am someone who loves strategy. It is fun for me to create elaborate plans and see them through to either success or failure. Ok, it’s fun to see them succeed, not so much fail. BUT either way – I like to have a plan. So when Tiny Epic Mechs launched on Kickstarter, I was a little wary. Action programming? Can’t that effectively negate any strategy you have set up? I was on the fence. But I backed it anyway. So was my investment a good one, or did my programmed action of picking up this game backfire and leave me KO’d?
Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, but give a general overview of turns and gameplay. For a more in-depth look at the rules, pick up a copy of the game from the publisher or your FLGS! -L
Tiny Epic Mechs is a game of action programming in which players take on the roles of Mech pilots competing in an arena-style battle royale event. Through the purchase of new weapons, powering up into Mech suits, combat with opponents (either face-to-face, or through the deployment of mines and turrets), and controlling different zones of the arena, players are trying to earn the most Victory Points by the end of 6 rounds of play. To begin, follow the setup instructions for the arena, based on the player count. Each player receives a player card (to track resources, and also acts as a reference card), a Pilot card, components in their chosen player color, and 1 Basic Weapon card to equip on their Pilot. Set the Round Tracker to round 1, create a market row of Advanced Weapons, place the Mighty Mech suit on it’s corresponding zone card, and the game is ready to begin!
Each round consists of 3 phases: Program, Execution, and Scoring. During the Program phase, players will secretly choose 4 Program Cards from their hand to represent their 4 moves/actions for this round. The chosen Program Cards will be laid out in order above the player card, and will immediately be covered by a face-down unused Program Card. (There are 8 Program Cards total, only 4 of which are used each round). It is important to note that the orientation of the Program Cards matters – Program Cards must be played parallel to the zone cards of the arena. Since they dictate the directions in which you move, you must place them exactly as you want to move. During the second phase, Execution, players will take turns revealing their Program Cards, one at a time and in order, and resolving the actions. To Execute a Program Card, you will first move your Pilot in the direction of the card’s arrow, and then resolve the action listed on the card. Movement is a must and cannot be skipped.
After Movement, you may perform the action on your card – Collect Resources, Purchase a Weapon, Deploy a Mine or a Turret, or Power Up. The first three of these are pretty self-explanatory. The Power Up action allows your Pilot to either heal themselves or upgrade into a Mech suit. Now to discuss crux of the game – combat. During the Execution phase, if you enter into the same zone as another player, you must immediately begin Combat. You will use your equipped weapons to battle your opponent, in hopes of knocking them out or forcing them to retreat. Weapons will deal base damage, or Power Attack damage, based on the circumstances of the combat. To attack with a weapon, you will deal the base damage immediately to your opponent. After your attack, the weapon you used is Exhausted and cannot be used again this combat. Your opponent then has the chance to attack back – either regularly or via Power Attack (I’ll leave that for you to discover on your own). Combat continues, alternating between players, until either a player is KO’d, or is forced to retreat because all of their weapons have been Exhausted. Initiating combat, dealing damage, and defeating your opponent all earn you VP, so combat is a vital part of the game!
After all players have revealed and performed their final Program Card, the round ends. At the end of the 2nd, 4th, and 6th round, players will perform a Scoring phase, earning points for any zones occupied by their own mines, turrets, or Pilot. At the end of the 6th and final round, scoring takes place as stated above, but players will also earn VP for all weapons they have purchased throughout the game. The player with the highest VP is the winner!
I have to admit that I am not a person who generally enjoys the mechanic of action programming. I like to really think through my strategy, and execute it exactly as I want. Action programming makes strategizing more difficult because your success or failure depends on the actions selected in advance by your opponents. You can’t really adapt mid-round, you kind of just have to deal with what’s happening. That being said, Tiny Epic Mechs, in my opinion, has a good balance of combat and actions/resource management. Your entire strategy can’t be based on combat – you need to upgrade weapons, climb into your Mech suit, etc. – and the ability to vary combat with individual upgrades makes the gameplay feel more strategic. Yes, your opponents might still mess up some of your best-laid plans, but you have to be prepared for any situation.
The overall gameplay can feel calculated or chaotic simply based on the player count. In a 2-player game, obviously there are only 2 people, and you have more opportunities to really focus on your individual Pilot before necessarily traipsing into combat. In a game with 3 or 4 players, interactions between players are inevitable and can really make the action programming mechanic stand out/feel more random/etc. Especially with a small play arena, Pilots will be crossing paths at probably every turn, and you may be forced into more combats that you anticipated. With only 2 players, there are interactions between players, but it feels a little more calm overall, and you can really work with a strategy instead of having to adapt to sudden changes in the arena.
Let’s touch on components for a minute. As always, this Tiny Epic delivers on quality components. The cards are colorful and sturdy, the text easy to read. The wooden components for tracking health/resources are good, but maybe just a little too small, even for my regularly-sized hands. The ITEMeeples, Mech suits, and weapons are always fun to play with, and sturdy enough to hold up to lots of plays. All in all, great work from Gamelyn Games once again.
For being a game of action programming, I have to admit that I enjoyed Tiny Epic Mechs more than I thought I would. At least at a 2-player count. Anything more feels too chaotic and random to me. The elements of programming and combat are engaging and elevate the gameplay, but it’s just not my favorite mechanic. Will I keep this game? Definitely. For what it is, I think it does a good job. Will I get more action programming games in the future? Probably not. I’d say Tiny Epic Mechs fills that spot for me, and that is all good in my book. Check this one out if you’re looking for something fun and relatively simple that utilizes this mechanic. Purple Phoenix Games gives it a mechanical 7 / 12.
Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, but give a general overview of turns and gameplay. For a more in-depth look at the rules, pick up a copy of the game from the publisher or your FLGS! -L
Tiny Epic Mechs is a game of action programming in which players take on the roles of Mech pilots competing in an arena-style battle royale event. Through the purchase of new weapons, powering up into Mech suits, combat with opponents (either face-to-face, or through the deployment of mines and turrets), and controlling different zones of the arena, players are trying to earn the most Victory Points by the end of 6 rounds of play. To begin, follow the setup instructions for the arena, based on the player count. Each player receives a player card (to track resources, and also acts as a reference card), a Pilot card, components in their chosen player color, and 1 Basic Weapon card to equip on their Pilot. Set the Round Tracker to round 1, create a market row of Advanced Weapons, place the Mighty Mech suit on it’s corresponding zone card, and the game is ready to begin!
Each round consists of 3 phases: Program, Execution, and Scoring. During the Program phase, players will secretly choose 4 Program Cards from their hand to represent their 4 moves/actions for this round. The chosen Program Cards will be laid out in order above the player card, and will immediately be covered by a face-down unused Program Card. (There are 8 Program Cards total, only 4 of which are used each round). It is important to note that the orientation of the Program Cards matters – Program Cards must be played parallel to the zone cards of the arena. Since they dictate the directions in which you move, you must place them exactly as you want to move. During the second phase, Execution, players will take turns revealing their Program Cards, one at a time and in order, and resolving the actions. To Execute a Program Card, you will first move your Pilot in the direction of the card’s arrow, and then resolve the action listed on the card. Movement is a must and cannot be skipped.
After Movement, you may perform the action on your card – Collect Resources, Purchase a Weapon, Deploy a Mine or a Turret, or Power Up. The first three of these are pretty self-explanatory. The Power Up action allows your Pilot to either heal themselves or upgrade into a Mech suit. Now to discuss crux of the game – combat. During the Execution phase, if you enter into the same zone as another player, you must immediately begin Combat. You will use your equipped weapons to battle your opponent, in hopes of knocking them out or forcing them to retreat. Weapons will deal base damage, or Power Attack damage, based on the circumstances of the combat. To attack with a weapon, you will deal the base damage immediately to your opponent. After your attack, the weapon you used is Exhausted and cannot be used again this combat. Your opponent then has the chance to attack back – either regularly or via Power Attack (I’ll leave that for you to discover on your own). Combat continues, alternating between players, until either a player is KO’d, or is forced to retreat because all of their weapons have been Exhausted. Initiating combat, dealing damage, and defeating your opponent all earn you VP, so combat is a vital part of the game!
After all players have revealed and performed their final Program Card, the round ends. At the end of the 2nd, 4th, and 6th round, players will perform a Scoring phase, earning points for any zones occupied by their own mines, turrets, or Pilot. At the end of the 6th and final round, scoring takes place as stated above, but players will also earn VP for all weapons they have purchased throughout the game. The player with the highest VP is the winner!
I have to admit that I am not a person who generally enjoys the mechanic of action programming. I like to really think through my strategy, and execute it exactly as I want. Action programming makes strategizing more difficult because your success or failure depends on the actions selected in advance by your opponents. You can’t really adapt mid-round, you kind of just have to deal with what’s happening. That being said, Tiny Epic Mechs, in my opinion, has a good balance of combat and actions/resource management. Your entire strategy can’t be based on combat – you need to upgrade weapons, climb into your Mech suit, etc. – and the ability to vary combat with individual upgrades makes the gameplay feel more strategic. Yes, your opponents might still mess up some of your best-laid plans, but you have to be prepared for any situation.
The overall gameplay can feel calculated or chaotic simply based on the player count. In a 2-player game, obviously there are only 2 people, and you have more opportunities to really focus on your individual Pilot before necessarily traipsing into combat. In a game with 3 or 4 players, interactions between players are inevitable and can really make the action programming mechanic stand out/feel more random/etc. Especially with a small play arena, Pilots will be crossing paths at probably every turn, and you may be forced into more combats that you anticipated. With only 2 players, there are interactions between players, but it feels a little more calm overall, and you can really work with a strategy instead of having to adapt to sudden changes in the arena.
Let’s touch on components for a minute. As always, this Tiny Epic delivers on quality components. The cards are colorful and sturdy, the text easy to read. The wooden components for tracking health/resources are good, but maybe just a little too small, even for my regularly-sized hands. The ITEMeeples, Mech suits, and weapons are always fun to play with, and sturdy enough to hold up to lots of plays. All in all, great work from Gamelyn Games once again.
For being a game of action programming, I have to admit that I enjoyed Tiny Epic Mechs more than I thought I would. At least at a 2-player count. Anything more feels too chaotic and random to me. The elements of programming and combat are engaging and elevate the gameplay, but it’s just not my favorite mechanic. Will I keep this game? Definitely. For what it is, I think it does a good job. Will I get more action programming games in the future? Probably not. I’d say Tiny Epic Mechs fills that spot for me, and that is all good in my book. Check this one out if you’re looking for something fun and relatively simple that utilizes this mechanic. Purple Phoenix Games gives it a mechanical 7 / 12.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Tutankhamun in Tabletop Games
Jul 9, 2021
Tutankhamun (per dictionary.com, the pronunciation is as such: [ toot-ahng-kah-muhn ]) is regularly shortened and often referred to as “King Tut.” My real question is that if the first syllable is “toot,” why do we not call him King Toot? I have a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old girl at the time of this writing, so I can tell you EXACTLY why we don’t call him King Toot, but that’s for another discussion. Never having played the original version, will I enjoy this new version of the game by world-renowned designer Dr. Reiner Knizia?
In Tutankhamun, players take on the roles of Egyptian priests attempting to cleanse their souls by gifting the sarcophagus with relics found along the Nile River. The priest who can cleanse their soul quickest will be proclaimed the next High Priest and winner of the game!
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup, place the King Tut sarcophagus on the table somewhere inside the box bottom. From this starting place (or you could place these components last I suppose), begin the laborious job of creating the Nile from the trapezoidal Relic TIles. This part took me a good several minutes each game. Place out the Underworld Mat near the start of the Nile, and place upon it the two Guardian Statue standees. From there give every player a reference card, have them choose a player color, place their boats at the start of the Nile, and Canopic Jar scoring markers on the appropriate space along the box bottom score track. The game may now begin!
Tutankhamun is played in turns starting with the starting player and proceeding clockwise. The starting player will choose ANY Relic Tile to collect and move their boat to that location. Once collected, the player will check to make sure there are still matching Relics along the Nile. If so, then play continues to the next player. If the active player had collected the last Relic of that type still active in the game, then the Relic type is scored.
Each Relic Tile features art of a Relic, a God, or a Scarab Ring. Relics come in sets, and when the final Relic of its type is collected, scoring immediately follows. Whichever player possesses the most Relic Tiles of the one being scored will earn points (or rather, negative points, as the priests are trying to cleanse their souls down to the winning score of zero) equal to the number printed on the tile. That number stands for the score earned as well as the number of Relics of that type in the game. The player with the second most Relics of the scored type will score half the number printed on the tile. All others do not score.
God Tiles feature art of one of five ancient Egyptian Gods: Osiris, Isis, Ra, Thoth, and Horus. Each of these Gods provide the collecting player with special powers to be used during the turn, and are always positive for the player.
Finally, Scarab Ring tiles are special in that they feature no number upon them. There are 10 tiles in the game, and as soon as a player collects one they immediately score one point (or one negative point). These tiles are not thrown into the box bottom, as the other scoring tiles are once scored, but are kept with the players to be scored at the end of the game. The player holding the most Scarab Tiles scores five negative points.
Any tile along the Nile that has been passed by all players is deposited onto the Underworld Mat and not added to the box bottom with the King Tut sarcophagus. Tiles may still be collected from the Underworld by permission of the Gods being collected in-game. Whichever priest is able to dwindle down their points and cleanse their soul first will win the game and become the next High Priest of Egypt!
Components. I am more and more becoming a fan of everything 25th Century Games is putting out. This is certainly no exception. I have seen photos of the original versions of this game, entitled Tutankhamen (with an E at the end instead of a U) and this game was certainly begging for a renovation. All the components have updated art, more vibrant colors, and the game even includes luxurious (and completely unnecessary) components. These are the very cool, but very unnecessary King Tut sarcophagus, and the Guardian Statue standees that add nothing to the gameplay but definitely help set the mood and theme. That all said, this version looks amazing on the table and has nearly infinite setup configurations!
What I like most about the game is the fact that on a player’s turn they can literally move forward to ANYWHERE along the Nile to gather whatever Relic they wish. They can pass up a tile or twelve along the way to snatch exactly what they want. However, the quicker a player reaches the sarcophagus does not automatically make them the winner. No, they still need to reduce their soul spirit score to zero in order to win (or be closest by the time all players reach the final spot). Conversely, dilly-dallying along the River just picking up every available tile also will not guarantee a victory. Specializing in a select few items may be the ticket to a victory, or setting oneself to win a couple types and win runner-up on the remainder may be a great path to victory.
Unlike many other games with this lazy race mechanic, the player furthest back does NOT get to keep taking turns to catch up (I’m looking at you, Tokaido), but rather just means that player has many more options ahead of themselves than the other players have. This is very interesting to me, and definitely something worth exploring more. It makes for tough turns when players have to really crunch which options are best for them: take the tile right ahead of them, diversify vs bolster the collection, or hate block another player by taking what you know they need. Ahh, so beautiful are the choices given!
At the end of the day (and this review), Purple Phoenix Games gives this one an Obama-meme-where-he-is-drinking-a-beer-and-giving-a-thumbs-up 5 / 6. I would certainly not have purchased this game in its original form had I seen it in a game store. However, with the changes made to make it more pretty, I would have given it a chance. I am so very glad I have the opportunity to play this a lot, as I can see this getting to the table allllllll the time. It is right up my alley, and I place it high among other Knizia games. Long live King Toot!!
In Tutankhamun, players take on the roles of Egyptian priests attempting to cleanse their souls by gifting the sarcophagus with relics found along the Nile River. The priest who can cleanse their soul quickest will be proclaimed the next High Priest and winner of the game!
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup, place the King Tut sarcophagus on the table somewhere inside the box bottom. From this starting place (or you could place these components last I suppose), begin the laborious job of creating the Nile from the trapezoidal Relic TIles. This part took me a good several minutes each game. Place out the Underworld Mat near the start of the Nile, and place upon it the two Guardian Statue standees. From there give every player a reference card, have them choose a player color, place their boats at the start of the Nile, and Canopic Jar scoring markers on the appropriate space along the box bottom score track. The game may now begin!
Tutankhamun is played in turns starting with the starting player and proceeding clockwise. The starting player will choose ANY Relic Tile to collect and move their boat to that location. Once collected, the player will check to make sure there are still matching Relics along the Nile. If so, then play continues to the next player. If the active player had collected the last Relic of that type still active in the game, then the Relic type is scored.
Each Relic Tile features art of a Relic, a God, or a Scarab Ring. Relics come in sets, and when the final Relic of its type is collected, scoring immediately follows. Whichever player possesses the most Relic Tiles of the one being scored will earn points (or rather, negative points, as the priests are trying to cleanse their souls down to the winning score of zero) equal to the number printed on the tile. That number stands for the score earned as well as the number of Relics of that type in the game. The player with the second most Relics of the scored type will score half the number printed on the tile. All others do not score.
God Tiles feature art of one of five ancient Egyptian Gods: Osiris, Isis, Ra, Thoth, and Horus. Each of these Gods provide the collecting player with special powers to be used during the turn, and are always positive for the player.
Finally, Scarab Ring tiles are special in that they feature no number upon them. There are 10 tiles in the game, and as soon as a player collects one they immediately score one point (or one negative point). These tiles are not thrown into the box bottom, as the other scoring tiles are once scored, but are kept with the players to be scored at the end of the game. The player holding the most Scarab Tiles scores five negative points.
Any tile along the Nile that has been passed by all players is deposited onto the Underworld Mat and not added to the box bottom with the King Tut sarcophagus. Tiles may still be collected from the Underworld by permission of the Gods being collected in-game. Whichever priest is able to dwindle down their points and cleanse their soul first will win the game and become the next High Priest of Egypt!
Components. I am more and more becoming a fan of everything 25th Century Games is putting out. This is certainly no exception. I have seen photos of the original versions of this game, entitled Tutankhamen (with an E at the end instead of a U) and this game was certainly begging for a renovation. All the components have updated art, more vibrant colors, and the game even includes luxurious (and completely unnecessary) components. These are the very cool, but very unnecessary King Tut sarcophagus, and the Guardian Statue standees that add nothing to the gameplay but definitely help set the mood and theme. That all said, this version looks amazing on the table and has nearly infinite setup configurations!
What I like most about the game is the fact that on a player’s turn they can literally move forward to ANYWHERE along the Nile to gather whatever Relic they wish. They can pass up a tile or twelve along the way to snatch exactly what they want. However, the quicker a player reaches the sarcophagus does not automatically make them the winner. No, they still need to reduce their soul spirit score to zero in order to win (or be closest by the time all players reach the final spot). Conversely, dilly-dallying along the River just picking up every available tile also will not guarantee a victory. Specializing in a select few items may be the ticket to a victory, or setting oneself to win a couple types and win runner-up on the remainder may be a great path to victory.
Unlike many other games with this lazy race mechanic, the player furthest back does NOT get to keep taking turns to catch up (I’m looking at you, Tokaido), but rather just means that player has many more options ahead of themselves than the other players have. This is very interesting to me, and definitely something worth exploring more. It makes for tough turns when players have to really crunch which options are best for them: take the tile right ahead of them, diversify vs bolster the collection, or hate block another player by taking what you know they need. Ahh, so beautiful are the choices given!
At the end of the day (and this review), Purple Phoenix Games gives this one an Obama-meme-where-he-is-drinking-a-beer-and-giving-a-thumbs-up 5 / 6. I would certainly not have purchased this game in its original form had I seen it in a game store. However, with the changes made to make it more pretty, I would have given it a chance. I am so very glad I have the opportunity to play this a lot, as I can see this getting to the table allllllll the time. It is right up my alley, and I place it high among other Knizia games. Long live King Toot!!
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Vendarla in Tabletop Games
Oct 6, 2020
The kobolds and dragons have taken over the mountain that once belonged to the noble dwarves in this land. The Queen has decided it’s time to take it back. She needs as many fine-crafted armory items as possible using the materials found in the mountain, but she will be pleased with the first craftsperson to finish three of them for her army. Are you prepared to brave the mountain’s dangers in order to secure the materials needed to craft her required items, or will the dragons and kobolds prove too difficult for you to overcome? This is Vendarla.
Vendarla is a press-your-luck, hand management, set collection card game where players are working against one another to collect the proper materials to craft three Queen’s Armory items while avoiding kobold warriors and thieves, as well as several dragons guarding the mountain.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and the final components may be different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to back the game through the upcoming Kickstarter campaign, order from your FLGS, or purchase through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
To setup, follow the rulebook advice for your number of players, but generally Vendarla will be setup on the table in different areas: the Market, the Mountain, the Queen’s Armory, and the gold stash. Each player will receive five gold, and their choice of either two or three (depending on play count) Queen’s Armory items to begin working on during the game. Determine first player by giving the dragon token, shown below, to the player who most recently watched a dragon movie and the game is ready to begin!
On their turn a player will choose whether to visit the Market or the Mountain. When a player visits the Market, they may choose to purchase any previously sold materials, sell their own materials, purchase items for use in mountain runs, or exchange Queen’s Armory item cards.
Should the player instead wish to visit the Mountain, they will flip over a mountain card from the giant stack of mountain cards and decide how to continue. If a material card was flipped, the player may choose to take that card or continue flipping cards. This action can be replicated until up to 10 cards have been flipped. The active player will then need to choose a card (or two if they have a Backpack equipped) to place face-up in their play area. Each other player at the table, in player order, will then be allowed to take a material or gold card from the flipped offering by paying the active player one gold.
Should the active player flip over a second kobold warrior for the turn, they must stop flipping unless they had previously purchased from the market a kobold repellent or Ironsides (dwarven warrior) to combat it. If the kobold warrior, or the kobold thief for that matter, is overcome by ANY player then the active player may continue flipping cards from the mountain. Should the player flip a dragon card over, they may use a previously purchased Dragon Charm to charm the dragon back to sleep or taking the dragon card into their play area and suffering a negative 10 points at game end.
Play continues in this fashion of active player visiting the Market to take actions for themselves only, or visiting the Mountain to excavate materials to be used to craft their Queen’s Armory items and opponents also being able to follow the action using their flipped materials. Once a player has the proper materials to craft their Queen’s Armory items on their turn, they may, and the player who crafts their third item will trigger the end of the game. Players will finish the turn, count up their points and a winner will be declared!
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game, so what we were provided may or may not be the same as the final version of the game. That said, this game is a ton of cards, and some gold coins. The card are fine quality, but I would probably want to sleeve them, as they are handled a bit and are a little thin. The gold coins are thick cardboard and look great. Speaking of looking great, the art in Vendarla is really really good. I love the art style used and the colors are vibrant and lovely. Though I had no problems with the iconography, my wife did a few times. Luckily, handy reference cards are included and that solved any questions we had with iconography. All in all the components are good, and the game looks great.
The “flip cards until you have to stop, choose to stop, or flip over something bad” is a mechanic that is used in many games, and in Vendarla I truly enjoy it because for every “bad” card another card may be able to neutralize it. And the best part about that is the neutralizing card can come from ANY player. Why would someone want to lull the dragon back to sleep on someone else’s turn? Well perhaps a material was flipped that they need to complete an item craft and they want to make sure they have a chance to get it for one measly coin. I love that. I also love games that include ways for other players to be involved in each turn taken. This isn’t a “multiplayer solitaire” game. Yeah you could go to the restroom during other players’ turns, but you may miss out on that elusive gem you need for your items.
I found that playing this I had to find a good balance between keeping my Market items stocked and going to the Mountain to grab materials. There may be several turns in a row, especially in the beginning of the game, where your turns are just flipping over a kobold warrior for which you are unprepared to handle and forfeiting your turn, but as the game progresses you will be hopefully be outfitting yourself appropriately.
While this game seems very involved and you may think there are many tiny rules when reading the rulebook, it plays really quickly. In my two-player games with my wife the games were 30 minutes or less, INCLUDING the teach the first time.
So even though I have a prototype copy of the game, I will certainly be holding onto this one and pulling it out quite a bit. When you can get a great play experience out of 30 minutes and feel like you did something interesting, I feel that’s a sign of a great game. If you are looking for a game that fills a hole in your collection (or even want to replace Port Royal, as I did), please check out the Kickstarter campaign for Vendarla launching October 27, 2020. If you like fantasy themed card games with press your luck and set collection, this one is for you!
Vendarla is a press-your-luck, hand management, set collection card game where players are working against one another to collect the proper materials to craft three Queen’s Armory items while avoiding kobold warriors and thieves, as well as several dragons guarding the mountain.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and the final components may be different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to back the game through the upcoming Kickstarter campaign, order from your FLGS, or purchase through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
To setup, follow the rulebook advice for your number of players, but generally Vendarla will be setup on the table in different areas: the Market, the Mountain, the Queen’s Armory, and the gold stash. Each player will receive five gold, and their choice of either two or three (depending on play count) Queen’s Armory items to begin working on during the game. Determine first player by giving the dragon token, shown below, to the player who most recently watched a dragon movie and the game is ready to begin!
On their turn a player will choose whether to visit the Market or the Mountain. When a player visits the Market, they may choose to purchase any previously sold materials, sell their own materials, purchase items for use in mountain runs, or exchange Queen’s Armory item cards.
Should the player instead wish to visit the Mountain, they will flip over a mountain card from the giant stack of mountain cards and decide how to continue. If a material card was flipped, the player may choose to take that card or continue flipping cards. This action can be replicated until up to 10 cards have been flipped. The active player will then need to choose a card (or two if they have a Backpack equipped) to place face-up in their play area. Each other player at the table, in player order, will then be allowed to take a material or gold card from the flipped offering by paying the active player one gold.
Should the active player flip over a second kobold warrior for the turn, they must stop flipping unless they had previously purchased from the market a kobold repellent or Ironsides (dwarven warrior) to combat it. If the kobold warrior, or the kobold thief for that matter, is overcome by ANY player then the active player may continue flipping cards from the mountain. Should the player flip a dragon card over, they may use a previously purchased Dragon Charm to charm the dragon back to sleep or taking the dragon card into their play area and suffering a negative 10 points at game end.
Play continues in this fashion of active player visiting the Market to take actions for themselves only, or visiting the Mountain to excavate materials to be used to craft their Queen’s Armory items and opponents also being able to follow the action using their flipped materials. Once a player has the proper materials to craft their Queen’s Armory items on their turn, they may, and the player who crafts their third item will trigger the end of the game. Players will finish the turn, count up their points and a winner will be declared!
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game, so what we were provided may or may not be the same as the final version of the game. That said, this game is a ton of cards, and some gold coins. The card are fine quality, but I would probably want to sleeve them, as they are handled a bit and are a little thin. The gold coins are thick cardboard and look great. Speaking of looking great, the art in Vendarla is really really good. I love the art style used and the colors are vibrant and lovely. Though I had no problems with the iconography, my wife did a few times. Luckily, handy reference cards are included and that solved any questions we had with iconography. All in all the components are good, and the game looks great.
The “flip cards until you have to stop, choose to stop, or flip over something bad” is a mechanic that is used in many games, and in Vendarla I truly enjoy it because for every “bad” card another card may be able to neutralize it. And the best part about that is the neutralizing card can come from ANY player. Why would someone want to lull the dragon back to sleep on someone else’s turn? Well perhaps a material was flipped that they need to complete an item craft and they want to make sure they have a chance to get it for one measly coin. I love that. I also love games that include ways for other players to be involved in each turn taken. This isn’t a “multiplayer solitaire” game. Yeah you could go to the restroom during other players’ turns, but you may miss out on that elusive gem you need for your items.
I found that playing this I had to find a good balance between keeping my Market items stocked and going to the Mountain to grab materials. There may be several turns in a row, especially in the beginning of the game, where your turns are just flipping over a kobold warrior for which you are unprepared to handle and forfeiting your turn, but as the game progresses you will be hopefully be outfitting yourself appropriately.
While this game seems very involved and you may think there are many tiny rules when reading the rulebook, it plays really quickly. In my two-player games with my wife the games were 30 minutes or less, INCLUDING the teach the first time.
So even though I have a prototype copy of the game, I will certainly be holding onto this one and pulling it out quite a bit. When you can get a great play experience out of 30 minutes and feel like you did something interesting, I feel that’s a sign of a great game. If you are looking for a game that fills a hole in your collection (or even want to replace Port Royal, as I did), please check out the Kickstarter campaign for Vendarla launching October 27, 2020. If you like fantasy themed card games with press your luck and set collection, this one is for you!
Kara Skinner (332 KP) rated The Robber Knight in Books
Sep 10, 2019
When you are fighting for the freedom of your people, falling in love with your enemy is not a great idea. Or is it? Ayla has to defend her castle and her people all on her own, with nobody to help her but a dark warrior she hates with all her heart.
Sir Reuben, the dreaded robber knight, has long been Ayla’s deadliest enemy. He has prayed on her and her people ever since her father fell ill, and she swore he would hang for his crimes. Now they are both trapped in her castle as the army of a far greater enemy approaches, and they have only one chance: stand together, or fall.
This book wasn’t bad, honestly. I’m a huge fan of historical fiction, and it had been awhile since I’ve read a medieval love story, so that was a nice change of pace.
The author is a historian, so there are a lot of little things in this book that you don’t see in a lot of other historical romance books. For instance,you can’t pull out arrows because there are often barbs attached to cause fatal wounds if pulled out. I did like learning about all of these facts. But sometimes Thier lets the historian in him gets the best of him, but more on that later.
Lady Ayla was a pretty interesting character. Headstrong and wise for her years, she is very noble and progressive. She has all of the makings for a great leader– with the exception of knowledge. I loved how kind and committed she was to her people and I love the fact that she has some spunk. I mean, if I’m getting robbed in the forest by this random stranger, then I hope I would swear him out too (of course, if I could beat him up and get away, then that’s even better, but Ayla doesn’t have much self-defense skills). But there were many times that she was annoying, like her insistence on being near battles, even before she started treating the sick. And how she tried to manage Sir Isenbard during battle. She had called on him for help because he was an experienced knight, and now she was questioning his commands and strategies in the heat of battle!
Mostly, though, I really did like Ayla. She defines the idea of nobility. With war inevitable, she’s willing to ride personally to the edges of her land to warn her subjects and she is always at the outskirts of battle to help care for the wounded. She invites everyone into the castle for their safety and rations herself as well as the others to conserve food. She’s even willing to corrupt herself to save her people.
Reuben is an excellent character as well, although it did take me awhile to like him. In the beginning he fell a little flat. It’s clear that he used to be a knight but something happened and now he robs people for his own greed. A near-death experience and being saved by Lady Ayla reawakens the humanity in him. And apparently also some depth.
In the beginning of the book he spends a lot of his time admiring his loot and laughing about his victims, who thought they had a right to steal from him. But that’s all he does. We have no real insight into his character or backstory until after he’s in Ayla’s care. Only then are there hints of a bad history where he had been arrested many times, been tortured, and had at one point been a member of respectable society. If it weren’t for the fact that I liked Ayla’a character and the plot so far, I probably would have stopped reading.
Thier is a writer who has really good potential in becoming a great romance writer, especially for historical fiction. The plots have some unique twists that are augmented by his knowledge of history and after Reuben’s character shaped up, he was an excellent love interest. But there is one huge problem with this story: the footnotes.
There are so many footnotes throughout most of the book that I feel like I’m reading a history textbook, which is not good when I usually read romance novels to take a break from homework. Not only are they distracting and unnecessary, but they are also rude and condescending. Sure, sometimes they were useful, like in explaining the references to the seven princes of hell. Another one was a pretty funny anecdote about how one of his readers had actually confirmed that lard burns and that burning arrows work because they had actually done it. There is also a lot of wit throughout the footnotes which is pretty amusing. But most of the time, they were annoying.
For instance, Robert Thier thought it was necessary to include a footnote about how witches were considered bad during medieval times. Seriously? Even if someone failed history, we know that witches are not considered fine, upstanding citizens. Or maybe he thinks all of us have been locked in our rooms with no books, internet or television for our entire lives and for the month of October we all miraculously fell into a coma so we couldn’t see the giant blow-up witch in the neighbor’s yard. And then we’d all wake up singing Christmas carols after the month long coma without a care in the world because this happens every year so we don’t know what a witch is. (I’m developing a conspiracy theory about how these strange comas was caused by witchcraft.)
Maybe Thier assumed that instead of us thinking Reuben was scared of witches when he wondered if Ayla was one, we just thought he was commenting on how much Ayla looked like Sandra Bullock.
And one of the footnotes was just plain offensive. Here is the line of text that the footnote is attached to: “Heel! Abominable villain! You dare defy me?” (page 74)
Now, here’s the footnote: “Sorry to disappoint the ladies, but this doesn’t refer to high heels. It is a medieval term for a very nasty person.”
Excuse me? Did you just assume that I thought it meant high heels and that would make me excited? What world do you live in?
Apparently he thinks “the ladies” are so dumb that we are incapable of taking context clues and we immediately think everything relates back to fashion. Maybe I didn’t know it meant “very nasty person”, but it’s pretty clear it’s a swear or insult of sometime, not a freaking Jimmy Choo. Does he just imagine us thinking high heel every time we hear the word?
“She broke his nose with the heel of her hand.” Oh. High heel!
“Heel, fido! I said heel!” Oh. High heel!
“It will take one or two days for your cut to heal.” Oh. High heel! (Because if he thinks we don’t understand the difference between uncomfortable footwear and an insult, then he probably thinks we can’t spell, either).
But hey, at least Robert Thier thinks women can memorize stuff, because the footnote links stop as the vocabulary is repeated instead of new terms being introduced.
Aside from the footnotes, I really do like this book, and I can’t wait to read the second part of it, which I’ll read soon. Thier still has a long way to go, but I think after he has more experience, he’ll write some great books.
Sir Reuben, the dreaded robber knight, has long been Ayla’s deadliest enemy. He has prayed on her and her people ever since her father fell ill, and she swore he would hang for his crimes. Now they are both trapped in her castle as the army of a far greater enemy approaches, and they have only one chance: stand together, or fall.
This book wasn’t bad, honestly. I’m a huge fan of historical fiction, and it had been awhile since I’ve read a medieval love story, so that was a nice change of pace.
The author is a historian, so there are a lot of little things in this book that you don’t see in a lot of other historical romance books. For instance,you can’t pull out arrows because there are often barbs attached to cause fatal wounds if pulled out. I did like learning about all of these facts. But sometimes Thier lets the historian in him gets the best of him, but more on that later.
Lady Ayla was a pretty interesting character. Headstrong and wise for her years, she is very noble and progressive. She has all of the makings for a great leader– with the exception of knowledge. I loved how kind and committed she was to her people and I love the fact that she has some spunk. I mean, if I’m getting robbed in the forest by this random stranger, then I hope I would swear him out too (of course, if I could beat him up and get away, then that’s even better, but Ayla doesn’t have much self-defense skills). But there were many times that she was annoying, like her insistence on being near battles, even before she started treating the sick. And how she tried to manage Sir Isenbard during battle. She had called on him for help because he was an experienced knight, and now she was questioning his commands and strategies in the heat of battle!
Mostly, though, I really did like Ayla. She defines the idea of nobility. With war inevitable, she’s willing to ride personally to the edges of her land to warn her subjects and she is always at the outskirts of battle to help care for the wounded. She invites everyone into the castle for their safety and rations herself as well as the others to conserve food. She’s even willing to corrupt herself to save her people.
Reuben is an excellent character as well, although it did take me awhile to like him. In the beginning he fell a little flat. It’s clear that he used to be a knight but something happened and now he robs people for his own greed. A near-death experience and being saved by Lady Ayla reawakens the humanity in him. And apparently also some depth.
In the beginning of the book he spends a lot of his time admiring his loot and laughing about his victims, who thought they had a right to steal from him. But that’s all he does. We have no real insight into his character or backstory until after he’s in Ayla’s care. Only then are there hints of a bad history where he had been arrested many times, been tortured, and had at one point been a member of respectable society. If it weren’t for the fact that I liked Ayla’a character and the plot so far, I probably would have stopped reading.
Thier is a writer who has really good potential in becoming a great romance writer, especially for historical fiction. The plots have some unique twists that are augmented by his knowledge of history and after Reuben’s character shaped up, he was an excellent love interest. But there is one huge problem with this story: the footnotes.
There are so many footnotes throughout most of the book that I feel like I’m reading a history textbook, which is not good when I usually read romance novels to take a break from homework. Not only are they distracting and unnecessary, but they are also rude and condescending. Sure, sometimes they were useful, like in explaining the references to the seven princes of hell. Another one was a pretty funny anecdote about how one of his readers had actually confirmed that lard burns and that burning arrows work because they had actually done it. There is also a lot of wit throughout the footnotes which is pretty amusing. But most of the time, they were annoying.
For instance, Robert Thier thought it was necessary to include a footnote about how witches were considered bad during medieval times. Seriously? Even if someone failed history, we know that witches are not considered fine, upstanding citizens. Or maybe he thinks all of us have been locked in our rooms with no books, internet or television for our entire lives and for the month of October we all miraculously fell into a coma so we couldn’t see the giant blow-up witch in the neighbor’s yard. And then we’d all wake up singing Christmas carols after the month long coma without a care in the world because this happens every year so we don’t know what a witch is. (I’m developing a conspiracy theory about how these strange comas was caused by witchcraft.)
Maybe Thier assumed that instead of us thinking Reuben was scared of witches when he wondered if Ayla was one, we just thought he was commenting on how much Ayla looked like Sandra Bullock.
And one of the footnotes was just plain offensive. Here is the line of text that the footnote is attached to: “Heel! Abominable villain! You dare defy me?” (page 74)
Now, here’s the footnote: “Sorry to disappoint the ladies, but this doesn’t refer to high heels. It is a medieval term for a very nasty person.”
Excuse me? Did you just assume that I thought it meant high heels and that would make me excited? What world do you live in?
Apparently he thinks “the ladies” are so dumb that we are incapable of taking context clues and we immediately think everything relates back to fashion. Maybe I didn’t know it meant “very nasty person”, but it’s pretty clear it’s a swear or insult of sometime, not a freaking Jimmy Choo. Does he just imagine us thinking high heel every time we hear the word?
“She broke his nose with the heel of her hand.” Oh. High heel!
“Heel, fido! I said heel!” Oh. High heel!
“It will take one or two days for your cut to heal.” Oh. High heel! (Because if he thinks we don’t understand the difference between uncomfortable footwear and an insult, then he probably thinks we can’t spell, either).
But hey, at least Robert Thier thinks women can memorize stuff, because the footnote links stop as the vocabulary is repeated instead of new terms being introduced.
Aside from the footnotes, I really do like this book, and I can’t wait to read the second part of it, which I’ll read soon. Thier still has a long way to go, but I think after he has more experience, he’ll write some great books.