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47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)
47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)
2019 | Adventure, Drama, Horror
47 Meters Down: Uncaged is pretty much what you would expect from a low budget shark-horror-sequel. It has ok moments, insufferable characters, dodgy CGI, buckets of nonsense - the whole package.

In all honesty, the first 25 minutes or so are actually half decent. The plot revolves around four friends getting stuck in an underwater Mayan ruin whilst cave diving. This setting is effective, providing a claustrophobic backdrop for the characters to be stalked by a great white shark. There are countless shots of sheer blackness, and it's relatively unsettling now and again.
Of course there's a hastily introduced plot kicker not long after - the shark is in fact blind, and hunts using sound, and here is where the movies big gaping issues lie....
The ladies figure this detail out immediately, but then proceed to constantly scream and shout for the test of the runtime. Not only can they hear each other talking clear as day UNDERWATER, but their incessant warbling had me rooting for the shark before long. What starts as a fairly tense underwater thriller, devolves into Hollywood silliness in a matter of minutes, complete with a set of characters that lack any relatability or likable qualities.

The sharks themselves look ok when shrouded in darkness (there are a few creepy shots, and a few fairly good jump scares), but up close, the poor CGI is easily exposed.

It's not a terrible, but you're not missing out if you give this one a pass.
  
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Sarah (7798 KP) rated The Meg (2018) in Movies

May 10, 2019  
The Meg (2018)
The Meg (2018)
2018 | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Isn’t even entertainingly bad
You know to have low expectations when watching a Jason Statham film, especially one about giant sharks. I had hoped for something similar to Sharknado, a proper cheesy laughingly bad B movie, but sadly The Meg can’t even live up to these very low standards.

For starters, I don’t think this film has any idea what it’s meant to be. Is it serious, is it silly? It ends up being a bizarre mixture of the two which just doesn’t work as both aspects just seem out of place. Whilst I absolutely love the Thai version of Mickey that plays over the end credits, again it kind of seems a bit confused. The script is awful, and the acting for the most part is horrendous. I wanted it to be entertainingly bad, but sadly it was just cringeworthy to the point I was almost embarrassed for them. The only person who comes out of this relatively unscathed is Cliff Curtis as Mac, who is at least pretty funny although sadly underused. Also, what on earth was going on with Jason Statham’s accent? Was it English or American?! And then there’s the plot. It’s very predictable, the first hour is ridiculously dull and then changes into completely farce and unbelievability at the end, with stupid characters doing silly things that just don’t make any sense. Even the CGI was average and nothing exceptional.

I really wanted to like this, at least in a “it’s so bad it’s good” way, but sadly this is just plain old bad.
  
The Meg (2018)
The Meg (2018)
2018 | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Jurassic Shark
Ah the shark attack movie. A genre that has over the years changed itself from impactful horror suspense thriller to cheesy, throwaway popcorn entertainment. Apart from when Steven Spielberg changed cinema forever with his 1975 masterpiece, Jaws, audiences have been given few treats in the decades that followed.

Deep Blue Sea was a tasteful homage to its forbearer, but even that was riddled in cliché and was much more of a brain-numbing creature feature than Jaws was. And then came Sharknado and its raft of dreadfully titled sequels. Look back through cinema history and you’ll see that sharks are big business in Hollywood.

Now, as we enter the final stages of 2018, Jason Statham stars in perhaps the most preposterous shark movie yet, yes, even more preposterous than Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! But sometimes preposterous can be fun. Is that the case here?

A massive creature attacks a deep-sea submersible, leaving it disabled and trapping the crew at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. With time running out, rescue diver Jonas Taylor (Statham) must save the crew and the ocean itself from an unimaginable threat – a 75-foot-long prehistoric shark known as the Megalodon.

Jon Turteltaub, who directed delicacies like National Treasure and Cool Runnings takes to The Meg like, well a duck to water. It’s filled with tantalising action sequences and Jason Statham spouting marine biology jargon including a scene in which the Hollywood star is shirtless whilst spouting marine biology jargon. What more could you want?

Quite a bit as it happens. Despite a solid opening act that sets up the dark humour of the film nicely, The Meg is a bit of a bore. Populated by bland characters, uninspiring CGI and plot holes so big they’d make the Marianas trench blush. It’s all a bit of a mess to be honest.

The Meg is one of a new breed of Hollywood blockbusters that has been made to pander to the new Chinese audience and while this has worked well for other high-budget movies like Pacific Rim, it doesn’t work quite as well here. Li Bingbing stars as marine biologist Suyin Zhang and whilst she performs well in her native tongue, her English-spoken scenes are stilted and lack any depth of emotion whatsoever.

In fact, outside of Statham, the rest of the cast are complete non-entities. Rainn Wilson provides some comic relief as a financial investor, but it’s all very B-movie and clearly not in the way it was intended. You see, when you know you have a ridiculous premise, the best thing to do is run with it and create the most insanely bizarre film in existence. Unfortunately, The Meg takes itself far too seriously and this makes it feel much longer than its running time would suggest. They could’ve gotten away with calling it ‘Jason Statham Shark Movie’ as that’ pretty much the premise in a nutshell.

It’s occasionally fun and could have been smashing fun, but in reality, it’s a bit of a damp squib
At a cost just shy of $200million, you’d expect to have Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom levels of special effects. They actually cost around the same to produce. In truth, The Meg can’t hold a candle to its land-based prehistoric cousin. The CGI is passable at best and really dreadful at worst and this is a real shame. When the main selling point of your film is a 75-foot shark, you really need to get it spot on.

Besides a couple of cool shots, one of which is the featured image for this particular review (see the image at the top of the header banner), the cinematography is absolutely uninspired.

When you have a film that features so much ocean, there are a multitude of amazing things you could achieve with the shot choices. Unfortunately, none of them have been realised here.

Elsewhere, there is something a little more sinister afoot. Sharks already get a seriously bad reputation and this film does nothing to quash that. With many species now unfortunately endangered, films like The Meg could do more harm than good. It portrays all sharks as merciless killers – proficient and deadly. If it did want to be a serious shark attack flick, it should have relied less on goofy comedy and more on raising awareness for the creatures.

We’ve now had three ‘creature feature’ films thus far into 2018. Starting with Rampage earlier in the year, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom in June and now The Meg, and whilst each of them brings something unique to the table, The Meg sinks to the bottom of the seafloor. It’s occasionally fun and could have been smashing fun, but in reality, it’s a bit of a damp squib. The Meg is a shark movie without any bite.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2018/08/11/the-meg-review-jurassic-shark/
  
    Dolphin Simulator

    Dolphin Simulator

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    Dive into the ocean and swim to your hearts content as a wild Dolphin! Explore a vast underwater...