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Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
This sort of soft reboot of Hellboy is a truly mixed bag. It's just about watchable, and there are some things I liked, and a whole heap of things I didn't like.

Let's start with the negatives - the absolute biggest problems with Hellboy is the editing and pacing.
The quick cuts and bizzarre transitions that happen often are incredibly jarring, and stops the narrative running smoothly for much of the duration.
It almost feels as if the film has been designed for someone who gets bored easily, and will shoehorn in a new scene before giving you the chance to take in the previous one.
It also plays havoc with a lot of the already mediocre (and sometimes cringe-worthy) script - a good example of this comes right at the beginning, as Hellboy is introduced us, searching for an MIA fellow agent.... Its here that Ian McShane's character explains to Hellboy over the phone, what this agent was doing when he went missing, only for Hellboy to himself repeat it to another character seconds later - it's weird and feels lazy.
Another issue is something I seem to complain about a lot recently - CGI. A lot of the CGI throughout is not great, and it's again, a complete mixed bag. Some of the practical effects look fine. The big demons glimpsed in the trailer look fine. And then everywhere else it just shits the bed, most glaringly when it comes to Ben Daimio, a character from the comics who should be an exciting inclusion, but is dragged down buy just how awful it looks.
Another thing I also disliked was the insistence of having 'cool' rock songs playing every two minutes, especially in fight scenes that would otherwise have been entertaining. At times, it felt like I was watching Suicide Squad all over again, which is never a good thing.
A lot of the acting throughout Hellboy is also stale and unenthused. Milla Jovovich is particularly uninspiring as The Blood Queen (a villain from the comics that never enthralled me in the first place), Daniel Dae Kim (Ben Daimio) and Sasha Lane (Alice Monaghan) just seem embarrassed to be involved at all.

This does bring me on to the things a liked about Hellboy though - David Harbour won me over pretty quickly as the titular half demon, he provides the movies sparse humour, and the make up work is great - he does his absolute best to hold it all together.
Ian McShane is good also, but come on, it's Ian McShane man.
Even if they aren't represented perfectly, I still liked seeing a lot of characters from the comic book, and my love for Lobster Johnson is strong.
The monster designs are pretty great for the most part, Baba Yaga looks skin crawling, and as I said, the big demons seen in the trailers are pretty horrifying.
The violence and gore is unfortunately, mostly CGI, but is pretty effective for the most part, even if it does feel like the movie is sometimes packing in an R rating to disguise the averageness of everything else.
As mentioned above, some of the action pieces are pretty fun, but I must say, the climax of the movie is pretty underwhelming.


I didn't find Hellboy as horrible as some people made it out to be - it's certainly not as good as the original two films (although I find the first one to be quite average as it is!) but it still has some credibility, even if it's a small amount.
Unfortunately, for every step Hellboy takes forward, it's takes two back, resulting in a messy and muddled film that struggles to find an identity, and it's reeks of studio meddling.

Still though, Big Mo Harris shooting an Uzi is always a pleasure 👍
  
The House That Jack Built (2018)
The House That Jack Built (2018)
2018 | Horror, Thriller
Into the disturbing mind of a serial killer..
The human mind is still one of those ultimate enigmas of life. How does it work exactly? Nature vs. nurture? What causes some of us to devote their lives to philanthropy and helping others whilst others of us are deeply disturbed devoting their existence to the destruction of life for their twisted, demented pleasure?

The story of Jack is a exercise in the extreme. From the opening moments of THTJB, the audience is quickly brought into Jack's world and not released for 2 1/2 hours of brutality.

Jack finds himself in his bright red rape van when he passes a damsel in distress in the form of a woman with a flat tire. He stops and reluctantly agrees to drive her to the nearest auto repair place for assistance. When the plight becomes more complicated, Jack reluctantly agrees to further drive the woman around. Growing impatient with her constant blather and insults at Jack's personality, Jack quickly reaches his limit and destroys the woman quickly using her broken car jack which happens to be lying right next to him in the front seat.

That is just the beginning.

The film is set to 5 "incidents" and an "epilogue" which chronicle several years in Jack's life, including other relationships with woman, his family and random encounters he has all used to fuel his addiction with death. Without detailing them all here, his journey for carnage includes extreme actions including multiple murders, corpse manipulation and even human trophies.

If you are a fan of writer/director Lars von Trier, this will be nothing new to you if you have seen some of his other films including Antichrist, Nymphomaniac or Dogville. His films usually require a strong stomach, but do not shock for shock's sake alone. The vivid imagery in all his films is used not only to proper the narrative, to show the audience something they have not seen before and cross the lines between art and film. His films will repulse some. I won't squabble with those who cannot handle his type of film-making; however, maybe my inner film snob relishes those who give me something different, something to think about after I have finished watching and thought out interesting characters you almost never see any more.

With THTJB, he delves into the human mind well providing voice-over to let us in to what Jack is thinking and maybe helps us include a glimmer of understanding with it. Jack's acts are loathsome, morbid, violent, criminal and terrible, but somehow I was still fascinated by him which comes with good writing. In an interview I watched after viewing the film, von Trier explained he loved writing for Jack because you never knew quite what he was going to say. Several times within the film he is "caught" in an awkward situation and is able to talk himself out of it with absurd, yet believable rhetoric. You certainly don't root for him since his actions are reprehensible, but you are interested in what happens next.

Matt Dillon was overlooked during awards season of 2018. The Academy should've looked his way as they did for Sir Anthony Hopkins in 1991. His performance is gritty, deeply disturbing and very believable. He made Jack seem sympathetic at times even through his extreme violent nature. Sometimes subtle, sometimes over the top. I can't remember a performance of his which was more striking.

A film by Lars von Trier will always propel your intellect after your viewing is complete and this film is no exception. Some of the images the movie provides (not just the kill scenes) are unforgettable, some beautiful, but all very thought out and aligned with precision. He is undoubtedly one of the most unique directors working in film today and I continually look forward to his subsequent offerings!

  
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Natacha (374 KP) rated Bloody Rose in Books

Dec 1, 2019  
Bloody Rose
Bloody Rose
Nicholas Eames | 2018 | Science Fiction/Fantasy
9
9.0 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
Contains spoilers, click to show
4.5 (9/10 for smashbomb)
You can find the review and many more on my blog: natachainreviewland.wordpress.com

I loved the first book and I was so excited to read the second one. And I have to admit it was a roller coaster. The first 1/4 of the book I was really disappointed and almost angry at it. I felt that it didn't much the first book and I thought it will end up being a 3 stars (5-6 for smashboom) read. Then the next 2/4 of the book started picking up and then... oh boy was the last part of the book exactly what I was expecting from it and more... I've mentioned it before but the ending of a book and make or break the whole book for me and darn did this ending made the book a 4.5 stars (9/10 for smashbomb).

Things I liked:

-As with the first book, the characters were all well written, with their own personality and back story to tell. They all complimented each other and the outcome was amazing.

-Rose. I didn't care for her for most of the book but the author absolutely changed my mind by the end. Love when that happens.

-The writing, again as with the first book, was simple and easy to follow.

-The story and the journey were almost perfectly crafted. Always something new happening to keep you invested in the story with twists and turn that sometimes are obvious but sometimes you don't see them coming.

-I said in my review of the first book the I loved the final battle... Boy oh boy did this battle topped it by far! Loved it!

-It was very nice to see many characters from book one.

-I really love when books or movies dare not to give every single character a happy end. And this book did that! Not every character had a happy ending and not everyone survived. I'll be honest, there were a couple of foreshadowing but it was so well done! Oh, my poor little heart.....


Things I didn't like:

-As I mentioned in the above I had issues with the start of the book. We spend a 1/4 of the book with our characters going from arena to arenas and fighting monsters without feeling that this is connected in any way to the actual main story. I was a nice way to get a very good idea of every one of our band member but I still felt that it was falling short especially compared to the preview book. I didn't felt the connection between the members as strongly as I felt it with the previous band

-As with the first book with have every single fantasy creature that you can image. So much so that we lost track of what is what and how they look. Same with the number of characters during the battle. It is nice to see all the different characters having a role in the battle and not seeing only our main band but you quickly lose track of who is who so I ended up not really caring about how got killed or not.

-I spend most of the book mad at the author for foreshadowing, no, almost telling me that our MC will fall in love with a character. And I wasn't wrong but because I was told about it from the first 2 pages it felt forced... At the end of the book the author managed to change my mind I admin, but I still spend most of the book mad about the fact that he foreshadowed it instead of slowly showing me things developing.
  
Parental Guidance (2012)
Parental Guidance (2012)
2012 | Comedy
6
6.2 (6 Ratings)
Movie Rating
I don’t really know where to start with this review. I guess I’ll start with what I’m expecting to see when I see a preview. I’m really bad at assuming I know what’s going to happen. Sometimes I’m right, happily sometimes I’m wrong, and then there are times, like with this movie, where it’s half and half.

The movie starts out with Artie Decker (Billy Crystal) as ‘de voice’ of his local Grizzlies’ baseball team. He’s really good at commentating and he loves doing it but after the last game of the season he gets fired. It’s predictable why he’s fired, basically he doesn’t poke or tweet, and I think they thought they hit gold with that moment of comedy but for me, eh. When he gets home his wife Diane (Bette Midler) comforts him. He’s lost for a moment since he wasn’t ready to stop but then decides he should chase his dream to commentate for the Giants though he doesn’t know where to start.

We shoot over to Alice Simmons (Marisa Tomei) Artie and Diane’s daughter, and her husband Phil, (Tom Everett Scott) who live in such a modern electronic home that it’s actually all controlled by a beta system called Rlife. Rlife can be programmed for alarm times, music, food, pretty much everything for each family member. This Rlife is Phil’s dream he gets invited to a conference to get his Rlife hopefully in production. Alice is going to with him, kind of a semi work vacation and they need Artie and Diane to watch the kids for a week.

What makes the divide even greater between Alice and her kids from Artie is that Alice and Phil are raising their kids in a new school that is different from Artie’s old school, tough love and strict rules. They use phrases like ‘use your words’ or if you give a ‘put down’ you have to give ‘three ups’ and you can’t use the word ‘no’ you have to say ‘think about the consequences’.

Their oldest, a young teen, is their only daughter Harper, Bailee Madison, who is extremely uptight and carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Next we have the two boys, Turner, Joshua Rush, middle schooler, who stutters and is shy because of it, and the youngest Barker, Kyle Harrison Breitkopf, who is basically toddler with lots of energy, but seems to get away with a lot of bad behavior.

Diane realizes that they are the other grand parents, the ones that their grand kids don’t really like. Long story short, it’s supposed to be about being open to new ideas but it just feels like old school versus new school. Billy’s Crystal’s comedy and Bette Middler’s and Marisa Tomei’s acting can pull it out of the boredom for some laughs and good moments and there are a few situational laughs with the children as well, but that’s about it.

The truly redeeming quality to this movie, besides the three main actors is the ending, the last ten minutes. It’s a surprising heartwarming ending, and only slightly predictable. It sounds crazy but it actually brings the whole movie up from a two star to a three star for me. One last thing is that the guest I went with has two children of her own and tried to get me to change my rating from three to four. I really can’t do that but I think that means that if you have children of your own you might enjoy this a little bit more than I did.

Bottom line, renter, unless you love Bily Crystal.
  
The Thursday Murder Club
The Thursday Murder Club
Richard Osman | 2020 | Crime, Mystery
10
8.1 (12 Ratings)
Book Rating
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I am so happy I am able to be part of the instagram tour for The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman. Thank you to the amazing team at Penguin Random House and Viking, for sending me an ARC copy of this book.

<b><i>Synopsis:</i></b>

We follow Elizabeth, Joyce, Ron and Ibrahim, who all meet up on Thursdays and solve mysteries. But when a murder happens in their environment, they cannot stay idle. Having their own tricks up their sleeves, they uncover evidence and keep getting closer to solving the mystery. But one mystery leads to another, and another, and before they know it, they are tangled in a mystery where everyone is a suspect and no one can be trusted. 

<b><i>My Thoughts:</i></b>

Their personalities, especially the ability to be brutally honest and not care what they say or do is what kept me giggling throughout. Their resilience and perseverance, and the ability to trick people as well as be a nuisance was so refreshing to read, because it was so real, and I have seen it before. 

I used to work in a care home with people that were suffering from dementia, and I am glad that there is a book like this one, that realistically describes how the elderly spend their free time and how mischievous they can be. 

Sometimes they help the police, and sometimes they hide things and manipulate so much that I just couldn’t believe the audacity (which was funny on its own). But I think what I loved the most was how much fun they have while they are doing what they want to do - solve mysteries. And they are very good at it! 

<b><i>“In life, you have to count the good days. You have to tuck them in your pocket and carry them around with you.”</i></b>

As a foreigner, I thought I wouldn’t understand the British humor.

But I suppose living with a British partner and working in the UK does help a lot. Damn, I’ve been here too long :D Although, there was one part that I did not get, and my partner had to assist me with. 

I didn’t understand the meaning of “What forty-six kilos was in real money". And when explained, let me tell you, I was not impressed. :D

<b><i>“People without a sense of humour will never forgive you for being funny.”</i></b>

On the subject of mystery, because in the end, this is a mystery novel, it does deliver. There are multiple mysteries, shall I say multi-layered, and some of the mysteries did keep me wondering until the end. Some of them, I did guess quite early in the book. I kept thinking that all the mysteries would somehow end up connected, and they do, but not in the way I expect - that’s all I will say, without revealing too much.

<b><i>I loved the The Thursday Murder Club.</i></b>

It made me giggle, it made me wonder and try to solve the multi-layer mystery, it made me sad and surprised. It got all the emotions out of me, and I loved it! I would definitely recommend this book! 

<b><i>“Tony is not a believer in luck, he’s a believer in hard work. If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail.”</i></b>
  
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Labyrinth
Labyrinth
1986 | Abstract Strategy, Fantasy, Maze
You know what’s super fun? Rediscovering one of your favorite childhood games. What’s even better is if the game itself lives up to your memories from when you were younger. Labyrinth is one of those games for me. My siblings and I played it a lot throughout our childhood, and it’s recently come back into my life. So does it still dazzle me after all of these years? Read on to find out!


Labyrinth is a game of tile placement and route building with a modular board in which you are trying to navigate the maze to collect various treasures. To setup the game, shuffle the maze tiles and place them randomly on the empty spaces of the board. There will be 1 tile left over. Shuffle the treasure cards and split them evenly between all players. Players may only look at the top card of their stack at a time. On your turn, you are trying to get your pawn to the tile showing the treasure from your card. You do this by shifting the board and creating new pathways through the maze. Take the extra tile, and add it to a row or column, effectively shifting the entire line in one direction. Once you have shifted the maze, move your pawn as far as possible along the open pathway. If you reach your treasure tile, flip over your card. You now look at the next card in your stack, and on your next turn will begin moving towards that tile. If you don’t reach your treasure tile, that is fine. Just try to set yourself up to reach it on your next turn! The game ends once a player has flipped over all of their treasure cards and returned their pawn to its starting position.
I loved Labyrinth as a kid, and I still love it as an adult. The gameplay is pretty engaging, and now that I’m older, I can appreciate the strategy required of the game way more. One of the most fun parts of the game is the act of shifting the tiles. It’s just fun to watch the rows shift, creating new pathways and trapping opponents in dead-end routes. Not just that, but the amount of strategy you need for success is crazy! You have to be thinking several turns in advance, trying to figure out how to shift the randomly set-up maze to your maximum benefit, while also trying to anticipate how your opponents might shift the maze as well. There really is no down-time in Labyrinth, and that keeps it exciting for such a simple game.


The one thing I do not necessarily like about Labyrinth is that you are only allowed to look at your top treasure card at a time. Sometimes you spend several turns getting to a treasure tile, just to look at your next card and realize that you passed through that tile several times on your way here. I guess it would probably make the game easier overall if you could see all of your cards at once and decide your path from there. Not that I necessarily want an easier game, it can just get frustrating sometimes when you have to be traveling back and forth across the board for every single card.

Labyrinth is definitely a game that I will keep in my collection forever. It was a childhood favorite of mine, and I still love to bring it out with my siblings for some good nostalgia coupled with brain-burning strategy. I can’t wait to have children of my own so that I can play this game with them as well. Just because it’s an old game, doesn’t mean that it’s a bad game! Give it a try if you haven’t, because I think you’ll love it. Purple Phoenix Games gives Labyrinth a twisting 8 / 12.
  
The Equalizer 2 (2018)
The Equalizer 2 (2018)
2018 | Action, Mystery
A “Good Guy” meting out justice in a bad way.
There’s something really satisfying about seeing our ‘hero’ Robert McCall giving bad ‘uns a bloody nose (and far worse) as immediate punishment for a crime committed. My parent’s pre-war generation would wax lyrical about the days when police officers or teachers could give a kid a “good box around the ears” as a lesson for a minor infringement. (“Ah, the good old days…. That’ll learn ‘im”!). But equally there’s also the queasy feeling here that this is a vigilante being judge, jury and executioner. Thank GOODNESS then that it’s Denzel Washington and he’s OBVIOUSLY a good guy that will never get it wrong!

Washington returns here as the righter of wrongs, now working as a Lyft driver in Boston (clearly Uber either lost the bidding war or they were not considered to be as cool a brand anymore). Through his job he crosses paths with various troubled souls and is often able to help: sometimes with just an encouraging word; sometimes with more physical activity! By way of validating his good guy credentials, he also takes under his wing Miles (Ashton Sanders) – a local black kid at risk of being dragged into the Boston gang scene.

But this is all window-dressing for the main plot, involving bad guys (for reasons that escaped me) tidying up a lot of CIA loose ends in Brussels in a very brutal way. In charge of the investigation is Robert’s ex-boss Susan Plummer (Melissa Leo) and to help out further Robert has to ‘reappear’ to his ex-partner Dave York (Pedro Pascal). As in the first film, events lead to an explosive western-style showdown.

Directed again by Antoine Fuqua, the film oozes style from the impressive opening shots of a Turkish train, where the cinematography by Bourne-regular Oliver Wood is exceptional. The action scenes are well-executed, and includes a superb science experiment that will puzzle any viewer who thinks “hang on a minute – flour doesn’t burn”!

Reading again my review of the original film, I went off on a rant about extreme screen violence in sub-18 certificate films. There is certainly – as the British film censors (the BBFC) describe it – “strong violence” in this film, with some pretty brutal murder scenes. If anything though I thought the violence was a little less gratuitous this time around, which I welcome.

Denzel is the greatest asset of this film though. He acts up a hurricane (literally), and without his calm and powerful presence at the heart of the film, this would just be A.N.Other generic thriller. It’s also great that this time around the excellent Melissa Leo gets more screen time, as does her husband played by Bill “Independence Day” Pullman. (Is it just me that gets Mr Pullman confused with the late Mr Paxton? I spent all of this film thinking “Oh how sad” though all his scenes before I realised I was grieving for the wrong guy!). In terms of mistaken identity, this film has another in that a key villain Resnik looks far too much like Mark Wahlberg, but is actually Canadian actor Jonathan Scarfe.

Where the film stumbled for me was in having too many parallel “good deed” sub-plots. One in particular – you’ll know the one – feels completely superfluous, beggars belief and could have been excised completely for the DVD deleted scenes.

Do you need to have seen the first film? No, not really. There is exposition about McCall’s back-story, but if this was covered in the first film then I had completely forgotten it. It certainly didn’t detract from this as a stand-alone film.

A cut-above the norm, Washington’s solid performance makes this an entertaining night out at the flicks.