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LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated When Will I Be Loved (2004) in Movies
Jul 4, 2021 (Updated Jul 4, 2021)
"๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ณ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ญ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ๐บ'๐ด ๐จ๐ช๐ณ๐ญ, ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ถ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ? ๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด!"
A deeply, *deeply* misogynistic, artsy-fartsy disaster of stratospheric proportions where every slimebag man has some idiotic 'philosophical' defense as to why they need to manipulate this woman into letting them fuck her - made by a known serial sexual predator. I felt complicit for even entertaining the idea to watch such dogshit, like I needed a military-grade chemical shower after seeing it. Or to at least bleach my eyes. Might be the worst movie I've ever seen, if not then certainly somewhere down in the bottom 5 or 10. Written, edited, and shot like a bad high school student project with this unbearable non-story which rips off - of all movies - ๐๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ข๐ญ (by name, in fact)? Neve Campbell has sex with another women (without showing any skin of course) behind a transparent mesh curtain scored to a shitty Bach cover - imagine if that episode from "South Park" where the people smelled their own farts was real and you'd get this depth-free piece of shit. As cynical, uninvolved, and up-its-own-ass as ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด is, at least that one actually went through with its promise of provocation. ๐๐ช๐ง๐ต๐บ ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐บ is unironically more provocative than this. Effectively just a series of bullshit conversations that go nowhere and shit-tier sex scenes more poorly thrown together than that one from Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part I. And then it also features horrible ass songs on the soundtrack because of course it does. One of the rare movies to bag Roger Ebert's highest rating... which was also 'earned' by fellow turds ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ข๐ด๐ด and ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ณ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด ๐๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ (which - awful as they are - are masterpieces compared to this) so it shows how much that distinction is worth lmao. Shoot me now.
A deeply, *deeply* misogynistic, artsy-fartsy disaster of stratospheric proportions where every slimebag man has some idiotic 'philosophical' defense as to why they need to manipulate this woman into letting them fuck her - made by a known serial sexual predator. I felt complicit for even entertaining the idea to watch such dogshit, like I needed a military-grade chemical shower after seeing it. Or to at least bleach my eyes. Might be the worst movie I've ever seen, if not then certainly somewhere down in the bottom 5 or 10. Written, edited, and shot like a bad high school student project with this unbearable non-story which rips off - of all movies - ๐๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ข๐ญ (by name, in fact)? Neve Campbell has sex with another women (without showing any skin of course) behind a transparent mesh curtain scored to a shitty Bach cover - imagine if that episode from "South Park" where the people smelled their own farts was real and you'd get this depth-free piece of shit. As cynical, uninvolved, and up-its-own-ass as ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด is, at least that one actually went through with its promise of provocation. ๐๐ช๐ง๐ต๐บ ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐บ is unironically more provocative than this. Effectively just a series of bullshit conversations that go nowhere and shit-tier sex scenes more poorly thrown together than that one from Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part I. And then it also features horrible ass songs on the soundtrack because of course it does. One of the rare movies to bag Roger Ebert's highest rating... which was also 'earned' by fellow turds ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ข๐ด๐ด and ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ณ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด ๐๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ (which - awful as they are - are masterpieces compared to this) so it shows how much that distinction is worth lmao. Shoot me now.
Darren Fisher (2447 KP) rated Island of Death (1976) in Movies
Jan 11, 2021 (Updated Jan 11, 2021)
70's Exploitation At Its Best
Story has it that Greek director Nico Mastorakis saw the Texas Chainsaw Massacre at the cinema and was impressed that such a violent low budget horror film could make so much money. So with that in mind Nico decided to make an even more depraved feature than Tobe Hooper and therefore make even more money! He succeeded in the latter but as for make more money? Well, we can only guess not. I won't bother going into the plot as I assume most people already know about this depraved and sick little flick. All that I will say is that as far as 70's exploitation flicks go this is one of the best. Depravity has never been in so much abundance as is on show here. This will not be to many viewers taste (and a big "no, no" for the Snowflake Generation) as we are subjected to rape, gay rape, incest, drug abuse, beastiality, torture, urinating on pensioners and even a fart in the face as a downright insult. The list of depravity doesn't stop there but to list them all would take some time and spoil it for those that want to watch it for the first time...
The gore is kept to a mimimum and the acting is pretty bad, but as the film progresses this is not really an issue (there are some great bits of crazy dialogue throughout). The majority of death scenes are very imaginative, including deaths involving a plane flight, bulldozer and a pot of paint.
Also there is a cracking soundtrack provided by the legendery Nikos Lavranos (Destination Understanding being the obvious favourite of the 'cult elite').
I cannot recommend this film enough, it is superb, but if you are easily offended I would suggest giving this one a very wide berth. Maybe I need psychiatric help... A MUST SEE.
The gore is kept to a mimimum and the acting is pretty bad, but as the film progresses this is not really an issue (there are some great bits of crazy dialogue throughout). The majority of death scenes are very imaginative, including deaths involving a plane flight, bulldozer and a pot of paint.
Also there is a cracking soundtrack provided by the legendery Nikos Lavranos (Destination Understanding being the obvious favourite of the 'cult elite').
I cannot recommend this film enough, it is superb, but if you are easily offended I would suggest giving this one a very wide berth. Maybe I need psychiatric help... A MUST SEE.
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Sarah (7798 KP) rated The Umbrella Academy - Season 1 in TV
Aug 1, 2020
Deserving of the hype
The review is a copy of my review of the main series, as the first season is what I based it on!
I have to admit, I was pretty impressed with this show. It's not every day when you watch something that meets all of the hype surrounding it, and I was quite sceptical to begin with.
The show manages to brilliantly blend action, the supernatural and dark humour to form an intriguing and interesting adult plot, with just enough twists to keep you hooked without going too OTT (Lost style). It also has some brilliant fight scenes (with a decent amount of blood and gore) that are paired with a truly killer soundtrack. And it has fortunately gone down the adult route rather than making this suitable for kids like some of the Marvel type shows/films.
The characters too for the most part are witty, deep and well thought out, from the family members to the villains Hazel and Cha-Cha. My favourites are by far Five and Klaus. Robert Sheehan is a great actor, I've loved him since Misfits and he's really perfect for Klaus. And Aidan Gallagher is brilliant as the old man in a child's body Five, there's something very humorous seeing a thirteen year old outsmarting and killing people. He's a true delight whenever he's on screen. My only real issue with the characters is with Vanya. For me I found her very dull to begin with and I thought her entire storyline was a teeny bit predictable. She does pick up and get more interesting towards the end, it's just a shame she puts a downer on the earlier episodes. Luckily the rest of the show more than makes up for it.
I can't begin to say how devastated I was at the end of the final episode. I could've quite happily watched more, so I really hope they renew this for another season.
I have to admit, I was pretty impressed with this show. It's not every day when you watch something that meets all of the hype surrounding it, and I was quite sceptical to begin with.
The show manages to brilliantly blend action, the supernatural and dark humour to form an intriguing and interesting adult plot, with just enough twists to keep you hooked without going too OTT (Lost style). It also has some brilliant fight scenes (with a decent amount of blood and gore) that are paired with a truly killer soundtrack. And it has fortunately gone down the adult route rather than making this suitable for kids like some of the Marvel type shows/films.
The characters too for the most part are witty, deep and well thought out, from the family members to the villains Hazel and Cha-Cha. My favourites are by far Five and Klaus. Robert Sheehan is a great actor, I've loved him since Misfits and he's really perfect for Klaus. And Aidan Gallagher is brilliant as the old man in a child's body Five, there's something very humorous seeing a thirteen year old outsmarting and killing people. He's a true delight whenever he's on screen. My only real issue with the characters is with Vanya. For me I found her very dull to begin with and I thought her entire storyline was a teeny bit predictable. She does pick up and get more interesting towards the end, it's just a shame she puts a downer on the earlier episodes. Luckily the rest of the show more than makes up for it.
I can't begin to say how devastated I was at the end of the final episode. I could've quite happily watched more, so I really hope they renew this for another season.
Amy Norman (1042 KP) rated The Umbrella Academy - Season 2 in TV
Aug 5, 2020
This quirky show always seems to deliver!
I don't normally start out by mentioning soundtracks but from the get-go it packed an absolute punch, and became a living, breathing, essential part of the show.
There was a good range of old and modern, foreign language versions, and just a whole mix of genres - that had me looking up tracks and adding them to my playlists.
Adele's 'Hello' will never be the same again.
This season I genuinely sang, laughed, cried, cheered, and my jaw dropped. Watching programmes on my own means it is normally hard to elicit an actual physical, or emotional, response.
The show has definitely eased into a comfortable stride, and the characters were far more likeable, now that a lot of the angst is out of the way. All the characters have matured somewhat but retained many of their issues, it's what makes them them, and in any good TV show, it takes a bit of time to fully overcome these.
I have come to love and appreciate many of the characters differently from season one. Season one had a few more stand out characters, and they really pushed those ones on to the audience. Whereas this time, it felt more like an ensemble piece, with all the parts being essential (and did I mention more likeable ๐ ).
The show touched on some tricky themes, and resonates with the current political climate. I feel like the show dealt with these historically horrific times with an elegance and dignity that was in keeping with the feel of the programme.
A few more puzzle pieces fell into place but there is still plenty of mystery left to keep you wanting more.
The whole thing is over the top, messy, and utterly outrageous at times, but that is all part of the charm.
I am eager for the next season, and hope it isn't delayed too much.
I don't normally start out by mentioning soundtracks but from the get-go it packed an absolute punch, and became a living, breathing, essential part of the show.
There was a good range of old and modern, foreign language versions, and just a whole mix of genres - that had me looking up tracks and adding them to my playlists.
Adele's 'Hello' will never be the same again.
This season I genuinely sang, laughed, cried, cheered, and my jaw dropped. Watching programmes on my own means it is normally hard to elicit an actual physical, or emotional, response.
The show has definitely eased into a comfortable stride, and the characters were far more likeable, now that a lot of the angst is out of the way. All the characters have matured somewhat but retained many of their issues, it's what makes them them, and in any good TV show, it takes a bit of time to fully overcome these.
I have come to love and appreciate many of the characters differently from season one. Season one had a few more stand out characters, and they really pushed those ones on to the audience. Whereas this time, it felt more like an ensemble piece, with all the parts being essential (and did I mention more likeable ๐ ).
The show touched on some tricky themes, and resonates with the current political climate. I feel like the show dealt with these historically horrific times with an elegance and dignity that was in keeping with the feel of the programme.
A few more puzzle pieces fell into place but there is still plenty of mystery left to keep you wanting more.
The whole thing is over the top, messy, and utterly outrageous at times, but that is all part of the charm.
I am eager for the next season, and hope it isn't delayed too much.