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Vampires Suck (2010)
Vampires Suck (2010)
2010 | Comedy
5
4.6 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Vampires suck – but does the movie? We open on the San Salvatore Festival with the angsty Becca watching her beau, Edward Sullen, disrobe and expose his sparkly secrets- he’s a vampire! Cue the “True Blood- 40oz” toting, Mono-fang vampire to take Edward out….wait, we have to get the rest of the story! What follows is a parody of the first two movies of the Twilight Saga. Most of the characters analogous to the spoof’s target are introduced in the first 30 minutes; few of them are actually seen again throughout the movie.

Becca (newcomer Jenn Proske) is forced to move to Sporks, Washington, with her deadbeat father and town sheriff, Frank Crane (Diedrich Bader of The Drew Carey Show). Frank’s best friend is the rough-and-tumble paraplegic Native American, Bobby. His contribution to the plot is his hunky teenage son, Jacob White (Chris Riggi of Gossip Girl). The town of Sporks seems to have vampires on the brain and its population is only growing smaller.

Our heroine is introduced to Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter of Disaster Movie) and what follows is the “classic” story of girl-meets-vampire, girl-loses-vampire, girl-gets-threatened-by-vampire-nemesis, etc. Writers/Directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer use their formulaic approach to spoof movies by making the plot a cliff-notes version of the Stephanie Meyer’s original material, with ample jokes thrown in-in an attempt to beef up their rendition.

In fact, there are so many visual jokes in the movie that it left me wondering what a sight-impaired person might conclude of the movie. “What are all these people laughing at?” I noticed a few of the dialogue driven jokes weren’t even played off by the actors. They seemed to have been missed by everyone, including the editors. Other jokes are pop-culture references that will get stale with time. They’re integrated well, but definitely dated. The movie is redolent with the classic American comedy tradition of slapstick, which occasionally comes off as funny.

The production value left something to be desired as several scenes were obviously one-takes. I counted several instances where Becca’s kiss left Edward’s mouth with a smudge of his own flesh-tone showing through. But hey- at least single takes have continuity, right? The contacts, no doubt purchased in bulk, gave the characters an occasional Marty Feldman goggly-look. The effect is hilarious, although I’m not always sure if it’s intentional.

The cast has its standouts. Jenn Proske’s Becca comes dangerously close (like copyright-violating close) to the performance of Kristen Stewart’s Bella as the fidgety, twitchy, sullen and hormone-y heroine. And Ken Jeong (The Hangover) as Daro, while not appearing on screen much, definitely makes his comedic presence felt.

All in all, “Vampires Suck” didn’t really suck… it kind of chews, like gum. Gum out of the package is fresh, flavorful, but the longer you chew it, the tougher and more stale it becomes. This movie is fresh, funny, and quirky right now, but it won’t stand the test of time like more accomplished parodies.
  
In The Dark Corner I Stood Alone
In The Dark Corner I Stood Alone
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
I stood alone in a dark corner. My imagination ran wild.”

In the Dark Corner, I stood Alone is a collection of short stories by author Petra Pavlikova, published on June 12th, 2018. These short stories pull together themes of women and fairytales. Telling stories about strong women in stressful situations, difficult because they are real, and how these women pull through, with a healthy dose of the fantastical. The collection itself is a short and easy read as the stories range in length from 5-20 pages each. I loved the beautiful imagery created in these stories as they each take you on fantastic journeys.

The characters in these stories are such strong and relatable women that I fell in love with each one as I read their story. From beginning to end this book captured this beautiful whimsey that kept me captivated in each story. As you read, each has a distinctive story to tell, but they are all in the same unique voice that has a charming but straightforward tone that captures the fairytale quality splendidly. I think that my favorite story may be The Smell of Sweet Lavender, as it tackles a heart-wrenching tale of trying to be true to yourself and the cost it sometimes has on those that you love most. But each was so unique that they held different messages and meanings to them, that I could see myself having a different favorite depending on what mood I was in at the time. This is definitely one of those books that I could see myself re-reading whenever I just wanted to curl up with a sweet set of stories that allow my imagination wander in the realm of fairies and distant kingdoms. The magic in them creates a tone but the themes within them last without extra flare, making them that much more poignant.

The other thing that makes this book really stand out is the remarkable work of the illustrator Anastasia Telegina. From the small flowers and bright colored pages to the exquisite images of the women in the book, the watercolor work is astounding and fits in perfectly with the wanderlust tone of the writing. Each time I saw that stories full image, I was blown away by the beauty and talent. They play with your imagination rather than entirely putting images in your head, keeping the fluidity of the imagination intact while still creating magnificent images. Creating perhaps what is more what a child might imagine from what is described that a realistic picture. This pair clearly makes an excellent team.

These are stories for almost any age in the themes it tackles and the beautiful way in which they are told. While some of the ideas may be intense for a younger audience, the way in which the stories are told make them accessible to any reader. They are important topics dealt with in a way that is natural and very real world, while held within a slightly more fantastical space. I very much enjoyed reading this book and would definitely recommend it. I will be keeping an eye out to read more from this author. Five Stars.
  
Unhinged (Splintered #2)
Unhinged (Splintered #2)
A.G. Howard | 2014 | Contemporary
6
8.5 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
<i>Unhinged</i>, the second book in the <i>Splintered</i> trilogy, is <b>set an entire year after the events in <i><a title="Splintered by A.G. Howard" href="https://bookwyrmingthoughts.com/review-splintered-by-ag-howard/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Splintered</a></i></b>. With the curse broken, Alyssa finally hopes to have as much of a normal life as possible, despite the fact nothing is actually the same.

I personally thought that <b><i>Splintered</i> was better off a stand-alone</b> when A.G. Howard first takes us to her dark version of Wonderland. <b>The ending definitely could have taken two turns</b> – the book could have expanded into multiple books, or it could have been left alone.

With <i>Unhinged</i>, <b>I just didn't feel as passionate as I was with the first book.</b> Though Alyssa believes she has left Wonderland behind, Morpheus and Wonderland eventually come back to haunt her through dreams and violent paintings – something bad is going on and Wonderland needs Alyssa back now that she's taken her place as the Red Queen. <b>The sequel isn't as adventurous or dark – it just felt like something I would normally see in a novel.</b>

I don't even know how to phrase it – <b><i>Unhinged</i> focuses a lot in the human world; Alyssa's conflicted feelings between Morpheus and Jeb, and where she actually belongs.</b> I hoped the book would bring us back to Wonderland, but <b>I don't even think we even entered Wonderland – it came to Alyssa and it just wasn't as exotic or enchanting or amazing as it was back in book one.</b> Am I sounding whiny now?

That's not including Morpheus and Jeb. <b>Much as I like Morpheus and his sassiness, I just don't like him for the life of me. I <em>still</em> don't like Jeb</b> [for the life of me]. If I really had to choose between the two, I would probably pick Morpheus simply because he just seems to have more personality than Jeb. (Have I mentioned Morpheus has sass?) <b>All Morpheus seems to really care about is Red and how to finally get her out of his wings.</b> Alyssa is just... convenient enough to be used and he ends up falling in love with her in the process of "using" her.

Now I don't know if that's true. I'm sure he actually cares about her greatly considering their history, and I'm sure Jeb cares about her as well, even though he is overprotective and it probably seems endearing. They don't fight as much as they did back in <i>Splintered</i>, but I just don't feel anything for the corners of the love triangle. I just don't. <b>I feel completely indifferent about <i>Unhinged</i> altogether and I'll read the last book simply for the feeling of closure.</b>

<a href="https://bookwyrmingthoughts.com/review-unhinged-by-ag-howard/"; target="_blank">This review was originally posted on Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
  
The Lost Girls of Paris
The Lost Girls of Paris
Pam Jenoff | 2019 | Fiction & Poetry, History & Politics
8
7.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
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In the 1940’s, with the world at war, Eleanor Trigg leads a mysterious ring of secret female agents in London. Twelve of these women are sent to Paris to aid the resistance.

<b>They never return home!</b>

Shortly after the war ends, passing through New York’s Grand Central Station, Grace Healey finds an abandoned suitcase beneath a bench. The case is filled with a dozen photographs, each of a different woman.

Setting out to find the women in the pictures, Grace is drawn into the mystery of the lost girls of Paris, their fierce friendship, unthinkable bravery – and, ultimately, the worst kind of betrayal.

Eleanor is a woman that men fear and women hate. Wherever she goes, fear follows. However, in a world of men who lead and men who are in war, she starts a programme in London where she recruits women, prepares them and deploys them to help in the war. The women have to aid the man, transmit radio messages and blend in with the french people. Eleanor makes sure they are prepared for every possible scenario, and she would’ve joined them, if they let her. As much as she seems cruel, she loves her girls like her daughters, and when things go horribly wrong, she blames herself.

Marie never imagined she would be recruited by Eleanor. Leaving her daughter behind and going into the unknown, she is deployed in Paris for a very dangerous mission. But can friendships so easily made survive the dark days of war? And what happens when Marie is one of those twelve women that disappear without a trace, never to be seen again…

And then Grace finds the suitcase full of photos of women and she can’t help but wonder what happened to them. The paths of these three women will indirectly cross over, leaving us, readers, with an amazing story to follow.

The writing is incredible and it transports you right in the 1940’s. Feelings and emotions are overflowing. I am not completely sure how I felt with the ending, as it ended too predictable for my taste, with a lot of unrealistic scenes and no character development, really.

But even despite all that, it warmed my heart and made me rethink my life decisions. The Lost Girls of Paris is a book about women who are brave and loyal. Women who are not afraid to stand up and fight. Women who have everything to lose and nothing to regret. A tale of pure emotion.

Thank you to the team at HarperCollins – HQ, for sending me a paperback ARC copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review.

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Spycies (2020)
Spycies (2020)
2020 | Animation, Family
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
A lot of the obscure kid's films I see at the cinema just appear with no warning, that means an exciting trip of uncertainty!

Vladimir the cat is a top spy at the Agency but after causing so much damage to property in a recent mission he's sent out to a remote station as penance. There he meets Hector, a tech genius rat who's isolation has left him craving company and eager to bond.

There isn't much excitement in their lives, just Hector's soaps on TV and trying to decide which pizza to heat up. Until one day the dullness is interrupted by a team who infiltrate the compound and steal something from the vault. After they make their escape Vlad and Hector head home to hunt down the perpetrators and get back what was stolen.

What I want to say about Spycies first is that the animation is amazing. I was blown away by some of the shots. The poster states it's from the animators of Despicable Me, Minions and The Secret Life Of Pets, I really thought this was an attempt to cash in on connections, and it is to an extent as this is relatively unknown but it does stand on its own once you see it.

The station that Hector and Vladimir are on is an oil rig out in open water and a lot of the shots are done during a storm, these scenes are incredible. One in particular felt like real footage and not animation, it was absolutely beautiful.

There's no denying that this is Zootropolis/Zootopia with spies, that thought bothered me more after watching it than it did during. It feels like they made a very specific selection of animals to be different. The other big difference is that it's clear it's set at some point in the future, and this is probably my only major issue.

Futuristic isn't something you really get from the world of Spycies, apart from when you look at the vehicles. The opening sequence, while epic on action movie scales, was very chaotic and the vehicles being new and unusual just added to that. With so much tradition around the film this felt out of place.

As an adult watching this film it was noticeable that it was made for a foreign market, it has clear regional influences that might not land for everyone but I suspect that the kids won't be too bothered about them.

I quite like the story but it isn't necessarily anything new. James Bond (yes, there's a Bond, James Bond moment in there) meets Zootropolis with flashes of Spies In Disguise. Familiar might feel stale but I enjoyed it. The script doesn't quite fit with the audience it's aimed at, it's probably not quite fun enough for kids but there's plenty of action and slapstick to keep them entertained as well as adults.

[On the title itself... I'm assuming it's a play on the word "species"?]

Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2020/02/spycies-movie-review.html
  
The Princess of Aenya
The Princess of Aenya
Nick Alimonos | 2019 | Fiction & Poetry
Genre: Fantasy

My rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Princess Radia is struggling to rule Aenya, a once-mighty kingdom now all but cut off from the rest of the world. But her adopted brother, Zaibos, leader of Aenya’s army, rebels against her until she’s forced to go into hiding while he rules as a sadistic tyrant. Now Radia and her bodyguard Demacharon have to hide until they can take back Tyrnael. But Radia isn’t all that she seems. She might possess power greater than anything she or her allies imagined.

The Princess of Aenya by Nick Alimonos was a good book, but I think I would enjoy it more reading it a second time. From the beginning, there’s an onslaught of action and story coming from multiple characters at once. The main storyline follows Radia and Demacharon as they fight to survive. But Hugo and Esse, a soldier and a servant, are introduced, as well as Ugh, a Bogren, and Eros, an assassin hired to kill Radia.

Through alternating chapters, the reader has to follow all of these storylines before they eventually intertwine in the end of the book and, for me at least, this was difficult. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed the individual storylines and characters.

Hugo and Esse deserve their own book. I would love for a companion novel to be made about them leading the rebellion in Tyrnael while Radia had to be in hiding. Esse was bred to be a servant, someone designed to not stand out or aspire to anything more than serving others. But she fought against that lifelong training to lead a rebellion against a sadistic tyrant. Before Zaibos, Tyrnael was at peace for a thousand years. No one had any experience protesting or rebelling because there wasn’t a need. But Esse stepped up and started to lead! Honestly, her story is just as fascinating as Radia’s, and a lot more relatable. I love stories about people who take their fate into their own hands so Esse’s story would be a great one.

I really liked Eros as well. He represents the dark side of Tyrnael. Just because there was peace doesn’t mean everyone was happy. Sexual intercourse is forbidden in Tyrnael. Eros was born from sexual intercourse so he and his mother were branded and ostracized. He was forced to become an assassin to support and protect his mother. Honestly, I wanted him to fail and succeed at the same time because succeeding meant killing Radia but it also meant the brand getting lifted from his mother.

However, while I enjoyed the characters and could follow and enjoy the plot overall, there’s still a lot I’m confused about. There are five storylines to juggle, six if you count Demarchon’s flashbacks. Not only are we following Radia, but we are also following Eros, Ugh, Esse, and Zaibos through their stories. It’s a lot to take in and keep straight.

The Princess of Aenya was an enjoyable read and the ending was satisfying. However, I would get a lot more out of the story if I reread it.

Get The Princess of Aenya on Amazon.
  
The Forever Purge (2021)
The Forever Purge (2021)
2021 | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
6
6.0 (12 Ratings)
Movie Rating
In what is being billed as the final Purge movie; “The Forever Purge” has arrived and like elements of the prior films; gains traction from current events which have only made elements of the film more chilling seeing how the film was originally planned for July of 2020.

Following the abolition of the Purge at the end of the “Purge Election Year”; the Holiday where all crime is legal for twelve hours is restored due to radical elements fueling fears of illegal immigration and the increase in crime immigrants will bring to the largely crime-free country.

It is not made clear what happened with the new President who was a staunch critic of the Purge and only that it has been restored so citizens prepare for its return by arming up, barricading themselves, or paying for armed security in a fortified locale.

It is against this backdrop that Adela (Ana de Reguera) has come to America fleeing the violence in her country as she enters illegally and finds work. Dylan Tucker (Josh Lucas) is a wealthy Rancher who along with his family hires friends and family of Adela though having some disdain for them and what they stand for.

The Purge comes and goes with the main cast unaffected and as they prepare to resume their lives; roving bands of armed gangs have continued to Purge in violation of the law similar to those who took to the street in protest of the election and plans to eliminate the Purge years prior.

This new group is well organized and has no issues taking on law enforcement and the military forcing Dylan, Adela, and their family and friends to flee for their lives. As the terror spreads, their only safety is to try to make it to Mexico who along with Canada has agreed to a six hour window to allow people to cross to escape the violence.

As the danger mounts, the severity of the movement is known as the authorities seem powerless to control and stop what is called The Forever Purge.

The film uses a slightly different formula than the prior films which focused mainly on a group of people trying to survive the night and the terrors that come with Purge Night. There is a greater emphasis on racism and Xenophobia this time around directed more towards foreigners than minorities and poverty-stricken individuals but the underlying message is the same.

This time around we are given a longer timeframe of terror and more social commentary as there are elements from the film which seem eerily inspired by headlines past and present which makes the film even more chilling.

While the story is rather bare and the characters do not get much development; the movie should give fans of the series what they look forward to although it lacks the dramatic tension of the previous films.

In the end “The Forever Purge” is an interesting new chapter in the series but not one of the stronger entries and serves as an effective finale to the series should this turn out to be the final film.

3 stars out of 5
  
In the Heat of the Night (1967)
In the Heat of the Night (1967)
1967 | Classics, Drama, Mystery
Characters – Virgil Tibbs is one of the best homicide detectives in his home city, he has earnt this position with hard work and higher education. He finds himself stuck in a racial divided town that does require his help, but doesn’t want to accept it. Virgil is strong and creates some of the most iconic scenes in film history. Gillespie is the chief that must reluctantly accept Virgil’s help, he is racist, but knows he needs Virgil’s help when it comes to solving this case, he must learn to be accepting of Virgil while being put under pressure by the supremacist that live in he area to rid the town of Virgil. Sam is the deputy that takes an instant dislike to Virgil, but he is mostly just a lowlife cop that gets past doing the basics of the job. The cast is filled the generic racist characters that don’t want to accept a black man helping with the investigation.

Performances – Sidney Poitier gives us one of the most memorable and powerful performances in any crime film, one that has iconic scenes that will forever stand the test of time. Rod Steiger is brilliant to, he shows us just how conflicted his character is to do the right thing and to keep his backwards mind on racial differences. When we look at the rest of the performances, we see good work from the whole cast.

Story – The story here follows a black detective forced into helping solve a murder in Mississippi while the racial hate between the two whites and blacks still comes off strong. There is two ways to look at this story, first we see how crime takes place and must get solved, which is interesting to keep us guessing throughout because of the large number of potential suspects. That however, isn’t the main story here, the racial divide between the people of town makes this more interesting because seeing how different characters interact with Virgil, some with open smiles, some with gritted smiles and some with pure hate. This shows us how we must witness how America was still filled racial hate in certain states that can point fingers before solving the crimes.

Crime/Mystery – The crime in this movie is murder, though trying to solve this opens up plenty of smaller crimes and deals with the racial hate still going on at the time in Mississippi, the mystery keeps us guessing to just who was the one the committed the crime in the first place.

Settings – The film takes place in Mississippi which for the time was still facing the divide between black and whites, this ups the tension for Virgil trying to solve the crime while also showing us the smaller crimes going on through the town.


Scene of the Movie – They call me Mister.

That Moment That Annoyed Me – The locals can feel too generic.

Final Thoughts – This is one of the greatest crime movies you will ever see, it keeps you guessing from start to finish and deals with the racial hatred that was still going strong in the 1960s America.

 

Overall: Must watch crime mystery.