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Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated The Umbrella Academy in TV

Sep 19, 2020 (Updated Jan 22, 2021)  
The Umbrella Academy
The Umbrella Academy
2018 | Action, Fantasy
I came to this gloriously colourful, energetic and super smart comic book adaptation in August (when Netflix advertised season 2), at a time of lockdown where I really needed something cheerful and fun to keep me going. It worked so well I watched both full seasons twice over, back to back, and key episodes 3 times! A rare thing indeed for me and a TV show.

Since then the rigours of isolation have set me back with a really long backlog for The Wasteland – currently I have a list of over 40 cultural artifacts I want to talk about and share with you- but, I am very glad to be talking about this one today, as even though it wasn’t that long ago, it evokes such fond happy memories of becoming just a little bit obsessed by something. A phenomenon that only seems to happen when you go into something with low to medium expectations and come out feeling like you have found a diamond in the rough.

The concept of 7 children with mysterious powers being adopted and raised by a shady and strict, umbrella wielding, father has been around a few years in the form of several graphic novels, penned by My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way. You can feel the vibe of something slightly emo and arty coming through – just cool enough but also self conscious; melancholy and dark in places but also lots of sardonic fun. But, unlike the books, which often look stark and minimal, the world created by show runner and director Steve Blackman is vivid and full to the brim with things to overwhelm the senses.

For the last few years, and especially of late, the Superhero genre has been so oversaturated that it is almost impossible to come up with anything original, but The Umbrella Academy together with Amazon’s The Boys, definitely manage to do that. It has enough mystique to be intriguingly confusing for the first few episodes, as we piece together the Hargreaves’ past that has led to the current situation, and discover the dynamic tension that exists between the adopted siblings. Oh, and there is a talking chimpanzee butler / guardian called Pogo, that feels like CGI gimmickery for a while, before growing into something truly wonderful.

The first thing you notice about this set of misfits, as they reassemble for their father’s funeral after years of bitterness and estrangement, is that they are all a little bit broken and uncomfortable in their own skins – their powers as individuals are all a bit, well frankly underwhelming, and their personalities are not exactly attractive in every case. Season one is all about re-establishing connections and working through identity crises. In many ways it is a coming of age story, as circumstances lead to them needing to grow up fast and join together to achieve true power. It works both on the surface and as a deeper allegory.

As each main character is introduced you inevitably get drawn into ranking them from most to least favourite, and the trick of it is how much those feelings shift as the story progresses. Everyone loves Klaus, the twitchy junkie who can see dead people, his completely non heroic yet hilariously stoned outlook gives him many of the best lines and most fun scenes. I changed allegiance several times with the others, but Klaus, played by the charismatic Irish actor Robert Sheehan, always remained my favourite, because of his hippie rockstar vibe. Although it’s hard not to have a soft spot for Number 5, the time travelling schoolboy that has been missing for years and re-emerges as a middle aged man still trapped in the boys’ body. Aiden Gillen is superb in conveying that he is older whilst always looking like a teenager, and in many ways he is the true pivot and anchor of the story.

I suppose before the show aired it was Ellen Page that was the “star” draw amongst the young and mostly unknown cast of “heroes”. As Vanya, the only Hargreaves child never to demonstrate a power, and held aside by their controlling father, she is the outsider and most insecure of the bunch. You sense her storyline is going to be crucial to the whole shebang, and so it turns out, but her fame as an actress of note never overshadows the show as a whole – it feels instantly like a group effort, and in that sense a true family, the deeper you get into it.

I could go on explaining each character and the details of the intricate plot forever, but I would never do it justice. The only way to see what the fuss is about is to watch it. Anything else would just sound like mad confusion to the uninitiated. All I can say is that it does an incredible job of unfolding its charms and secrets piece by piece. So much so that by the climax of season two I am still not entirely sure we have all the information necessary to know what is going on in a complete sense; there are several questions and mysteries still to be unearthed, and I like that very much.

I have recommended this show to anyone I know who enjoys something entertaining that has substance yet doesn’t take itself too seriously – so that is everyone then! I think it’s allure is that very thing: it manages to hit a zeitgeist of perfect balance between a smart script and plotline with many cliffhangers, and enough disposable moments of fun, to be exactly what the modern Netflix viewer is looking for. Super easy to watch with one eye or with both, depending on what mood you are in.

There is also the style of the thing – a veritable candy box of colours and neat visual tricks, mixed in with some of the best musical montage sequences I have ever seen. I understand from several interviews that Steve Blackman specifically wrote certain scenes around the feel of a piece of music he wanted to include. That is a clever way of building a cult following: find songs that both tell a story and appeal to the cool kids, then use them as mini music video segments that punctuate the heavier elements of storytelling. It’s not a new trick, but the song choices here are so good that it has rarely been done this well before.

It all works especially well as we move into season two and an historical context that brings up a lot of pertinent issues for some of the siblings regarding race, sexuality and other freedoms of identity that can be taken for granted in the modern era. I don’t want to spoil too much of that here, but suffice to say as a hook to pin the themes on it is a genius touch that makes season two a huge leap forward on something that was already pretty decent in season one. All the characters become more rounded and relatable, even the so called bad guys – an increasingly eccentric bunch of creations that leave you in no doubt this is a comic book world not to be confused with reality.

At time of writing, a third season has still not being given the greenlight. Considering the massive cliffhanger we are left with at the end of season two, and how big the cult following seems to be by now, it would be an absolute crime not to allow it to continue. The only reason I can see it wouldn’t is that the stories of the source material are now exhausted, and anywhere they go from here will need to be truly original. However, there is so much scope to do almost anything from here that I don’t see it as any kind of issue.

If you haven’t seen it, I urge you whole-heartedly to give it a go. There really is something in there to please everyone, except perhaps the most serious minded of realists. Even then, they’d be hard pressed not to raise a smile or tap a toe at some of the best musical moments of emo hero mayhem.
  
Ford v Ferrari (aka Le Mans '66) (2019)
Ford v Ferrari (aka Le Mans '66) (2019)
2019 | Action, Biography, Drama, Sport
Damon, Bale and fast cars (1 more)
Epic technical film making - cinematography, editing and sound - Oscar bait
Virtually nothing (0 more)
A linear story on a circular track - but beautifully done.
Despite the love affair cinema has had with cars over the years, the sport of motor racing on film has been patchy. Too often the drama on the track has been deluged with melodrama off the track, as in John Frankenheimer's "Grand Prix" from 1966. While recent efforts such as Ron Howard's "Rush" have brought modern filming techniques to better convey the speed and excitement, it is Steve McQueen's "Le Mans" from 1971 that had previously set the bar for realism in the sport. But even there, there were a few off-track love stories to interweave into the action.

I wouldn't hesitate to suggest that "Le Mans '66" is a strong contender for the motor racing high-water mark.

The film was marketed as "Ford v Ferrari" in the US. (What... do the American distributors think their film-goers are so stupid that if "Le" is in the title they will think it sub-titled foreign language??). But it's a valid title, since the movie tells the true story of when Henry Ford... the second... (Tracy Letts) throws his toys out of the pram at Ford's faltering progress. ("James Bond does not drive a Ford". "That's because he's a degenerate!" snaps back Ford, which kind of typifies the problem"). Marketing man Lee Iacocca (Jon Bernthal) persuades retired hot-shot racer Carroll Shelby (Matt Damon) to take Ford's blank-cheque to build a car to win the Le Mans 24 hour race.

Shelby enlists maverick Brit racer Ken Miles (Christian Bale) to help design and drive the next-generation machine. But neither had banked on the interference of the hoards of Ford suits, led by VP Leo Beebe (Josh Lucas). An explosion is imminent! And its not just from the over-heated brake pads!

What's really odd about this film is how linear the story is. While we get to see the family life of Miles (to add necessary context to what follows) these are merely minor diversions. There are no sub-plots or flashback scenes. It just relates the history from beginning to end, enlivened by some of the best and most exciting motor-racing footage put to celluloid.

At a bladder-testing 152 minutes, this really shouldn't have worked. I should have got bored and restless. But I really didn't.

In many ways - bladders aside - I think this will appeal in particular to an older breed of movie-goer. It's a 100% 'sit back in your seat and enjoy' cinema treat.

This is the first film Matt Damon and Christian Bale have made together, and I understand that Damon specifically signed on since he wanted to work with Bale. And there is palpable chemistry there. The movie includes one of the best 'bad-fights' since Colin Firth and Hugh Grant locked horns in the Bridget Jones films. And Damon - never one of the most expressive actors in the world - here really shines.

Bale also appears to be having a whale of a time. Not having to adopt a US accent suits him, as he blasts and swears his way through various UK-specific expletives that probably passed the US-censors by! He often tends to play characters in movies that are difficult to warm to, but here - although suitably spiky and irascible - the family man really shines through and you feel a real warmth for the guy.

There's a strong supporting cast behind the leads, with Tracy Letts' fast-driving breakdown being a standout moment. I wonder how many takes they needed on that for Damon to keep a semi-straight face?! Also impressive as the son Peter Miles is Noah Jupe. If you're wondering where the hell you've seen him before, he was young (Marcus in "A Quiet Place").

Where the film comes alive is on the track, and a particular shout out should to to the technical teams. Cinematography is by Phedon Papamichael ("Walk the Line"), film editing is led by Andrew Buckland and Michael McCusker. And sound mixing - which to my ear was piston-valve perfect - is by Steven Morrow. Also worthy of note is a kick-ass driving soundtrack by Marco Beltrami that genuinely excited. These categories are fearsomly hard to predict in awards season, but you might like to listen out for those names.

If I was going to pick at any faults in the film, it would be that Ford exec Leo Beebe is painted a little too much as a "boo-hiss" pantomime villain in the piece. It could have been perhaps toned down 20% or so.

James Mangold ("Logan"; "Walk the Line") directs in style. From the rather po-faced trailer, you might think this is a "car movie that's not for me". But it really is a tremendously fun movie, with some genuinely laugh-out-loud moments mixed in with edge-of-your-seat action and some heart-rending moments.

Above all, this is a film that really benefits from the wide-screen and sound-system that only a big cinema can provide. As such this goes on my "get out and see it" list without any hesitation! It's going to make my movies of the year: and I'm off to see it again on Saturday!

Read the full review here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2019/11/20/one-manns-movies-film-review-le-mans-66-2019/
  
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Hadley (567 KP) rated Pet Sematary in Books

Jul 31, 2019  
Pet Sematary
Pet Sematary
Stephen King | 2011 | Fiction & Poetry, Horror
8
8.4 (53 Ratings)
Book Rating
Realistic horror scenes (1 more)
Great writing
Overuse of some words (1 more)
Some contradictions
Louis Creed, the main character of Stephen King's 'Pet Sematary,' wants a good life for his family. He's starting his first term as a newly appointed doctor for the University of Maine. Louis' family moved from Chicago to Maine for this very job, which consists of his young daughter, Ellie, his wife, Rachel, his infant son, Gage, and Ellie's black cat, Church (which is short for Winston Churchill). This cat quickly becomes the topic of conversation when the Creeds' new neighbor, Jud Crandall, warns them about the road in front of their house: " 'I'd get him fixed, ' Crandall said, crushing his smoke between his thumb and forefinger. 'A fixed cat don't tend to wander as much. But if it's all the time crossing back and forth, its luck will run out, and it'll end up there with the Ryder kids' coon and little Timmy Dessler's cocker spaniel and Missus Bradleigh's parakeet. Not that the parakeet got run over in the road, you understand. It just went feet up one day.' "

When Louis becomes curious about a trail behind his new home that leads into the woods, Jud gladly introduces the Creed family to the infamous 'Pet Sematary.' A place where children, for years, have buried their pets when they die. This place, and the death of Church, form the starting basis of King's amazing novel.

Louis' life suddenly changes after the death of a University student named Victor Pascow, and gets even worse when Louis starts to have dreams about him. One night, even the ghost of Pascow shows up at Louis' house: " He stood there with his head bashed in behind the left temple. The blood had dried on his face in maroon stripes like Indian warpaint. His collarbone jutted whitely. He was grinning. 'Come on, Doctor,' Pascow said. 'We got places to go.' " Louis ends up following Pascow to the pet sematary where he tells him: " 'I come as a friend,' Pascow said--- but was friend actually the word Pascow had used? Louis thought not. It was as if Pascow had spoken in a foreign language which Louis could understand through some dream magic... and friend was as close as to whatever word Pascow had actually used that Louis's struggling mind could come. ' Your destruction and the destruction of all you love is very near, Doctor.' He was close enough for Louis to be able to smell death on him. "

Later on, Louis feels Pascow's premonition might be coming true when he finds that Church has been killed by a passing vehicle. Jud, who happened to find Church, tells him to follow him so that they can bury the cat, but Jud doesn't stop at the pet sematary as expected, instead he goes past a deadfall barrier and continues on to a place he calls the Micmac Burial Ground, a burial ground that was made by the Micmac Indians. Through this entire scene, Louis experiences paranormal-type things, including the maniacal laughter of a disembodied voice. Jud warns Louis to not pay any attention to anything he experiences here: " 'You might see St. Elmo's fire- - - what the sailors call foo-lights. It makes funny shapes, but it's nothing. If you should see some of those shapes and they bother you, just look the other way. You may hear sounds like voices, but they are the loons down south toward Prospect. The sound carries. It's funny.' "

Now, the real story begins when Church returns to the house after his burial, where Louis finds dried blood on the cat's face and small pieces of plastic from the garbage bag his body had been in. Breathing and eating, the cat has certainly come back to life, but Louis notices that Church isn't the same as he was before; while Louis is in a hot bath, Church takes a seat on the toilet, where we witness him swaying back and forth, from this point on, Louis starts to regret following Jud to the Micmac burial ground.

Ellie, Louis' daughter, begins to suspect that something is different about Church, but she shrugs it off and doesn't necessarily question it:

" 'Daddy?' Ellie said in a low, subdued voice.

'What, Ellie? '

'Church smells funny.'

'Does he?' Louis asked, his voice carefully neutral.

'Yes!' Ellie said, distressed. 'Yes, he does! He never smelled funny before! He smells like... he smells like ka-ka!'

'Well, maybe he rolled in something bad, honey,' Louis said. 'Whatever that bad smell is, he'll lost it.'

'I certainly hope so,' Ellie said in a comical dowager's voice. She walked off. " King spends a majority of 'Pet Sematary' addressing everyone's fear of death; he discusses parents' fear of explaining death to their children for the first time, and even makes readers face the real nightmare of losing a child.

And the realism that King writes about is what makes him the great writer that he is today. King writes about the death of a child, but also makes Louis into a very real character that any parent could relate to. While many books touch on this subject, none can touch on grief like King does: " It was well for Louis- - - well for all three of the remaining family members--- that Steve had shown up as promptly as he had, because Louis was at least temporarily unable to make any kind of decision, even one so minor as giving his wife a shot to mute her deep grief. Louis hadn't even noticed that Rachel had apparently meant to go to the morning viewing in her housecoat, which she had misbuttoned. Her hair was uncombed, unwashed, tangled. Her eyes, blank brown orbits, bulged from sockets so sunken that they had almost become the eyes of a living skull. Her flesh was doughy. It hung from her face. She sat at the breakfast table that morning, munching unbuttered toast and talking in disjointed phrases that made no sense at all. At one point she had said abruptly, 'About that Winnebago you want to buy, Lou---' Louis had last spoken about buying a Winnebago in 1981. "

Yet, this isn't a book about grief, but a horror book about grief, which King masterfully put together. He molds the darkness of losing a child with the horror of making zombies, but King makes the story seem so realistic that any parent would go to the lengths that Louis did - - -and Jud, for that matter - - - even with the dire consequences at stake: " You're slanting all the evidence in favor of the conclusion you want to produce, his [Louis] mind protested. At least tell yourself the goddamned truth about the change in Church. Even if you want to disqualify the animals--- the mice and the birds--- what about the way he is? Muddled... that's the best word of all, that sums it up. The day we were out with the kite. You remember how Gage was that day? How vibrant and alive he was, reacting to everything? Wouldn't it be better to remember him that way? Do you want to resurrect a zombie from a grade-B horror picture? Or even something so prosaic as a retarded little boy? A boy who eats with his fingers and stares blankly at images on the TV screen and who will never learn to write his own name? What did Jud say about his dog? 'It was like washing a piece of meat.' Is that what you want? A piece of breathing meat? And even if you're able to be satisfied with that, how do you explain the return of your son from the dead to your wife? To your daughter? To Steve Masterton? To the world? What happens the first time Missy Dandridge pulls into the driveway and sees Gage riding his trike in the yard? Can't you hear her screams, Louis? Can't you see her harrowing her face with her fingernails? What do you say to the reporters? What do you say when a film crew from 'Real People' turns up on your doorstep, wanting to shoot film of your resurrected son? "

Pet Sematary is an emotional thrill ride, with Louis as a very relatable character, and the writing makes this a must-read book for all readers. With one of my favorite descriptive parts taking place in the 'Little God Swamp' that exists just outside of the Micmac Burial Ground when King describes the legendary Wendigo:

" The mist stained to a dull slate- gray for a moment, but this diffuse, ill-defined watermark was better than sixty feet high. It was no shade, no insubstantial ghost; he could feel the displaced air of its passage, could hear the mammoth thud of its feet coming down, the suck of mud as it moved on. For a moment he believed he saw twin yellow- orange sparks high above him. Sparks like eyes. "

The novel is so well-written that it reads easily, and King's descriptions put the reader right inside of the book.

With a few inconsistencies here and there, and overuse of some words, Pet Sematary is a very enjoyable book for lovers of the horror genre. I highly recommend this book!
  
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019)
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019)
2019 | Crime, Drama, Thriller
Tarantino makes good movies, I like them, but I don't love them. When everyone was raving about the OUATIH trailer I was sitting back going "that looks okay, but..." I wasn't sure I could see how they were going to mix the two strands of the story together, or why. After seeing it I'm still not sure.

I'm not going to do an extended synopsis for this, partly because I'm not sure what the point was to a lot of it. 2 hours and 41 minutes is a lot of time to fill with such random stuff. There are essentially to films here, and I definitely would have wanted to watch one of them. It doesn't matter how many times I think about this film, I can't make sense of why these stories were put together.

There's a lot of acting talent in this, obviously. I'm not a particular fan of DiCaprio, I can't give you a real reason behind that. I don't mind some of his older films but recently nothing has really caught my eye. He has some excellent moments in this though. I particularly liked the scene where he's on set explaining the story of his novel to his young co-star. The audience and Rick are able to reach the realisation at the same time, it's a moving moment that was annoyingly ruined for me by Trudi's lines afterwards. I guess it does reflect the way Hollywood is though so in that respect it was spot on.

Brad Pitt swooped in and stole the show though. There's a very laid back and sometimes cheeky sense to Cliff, and most of his scenes had me engaged with what was going on. The only thing I would say though is that occasionally you just see Brad Pitt and other characters he's portrayed in this performance. He really does have a strong presence though and apart from those small blips he was by far the best performance of the film and my favourite scenes were his fight with Bruce Lee and the last ten minutes. Both of these were done so well and Pitt's reactions were perfect.

The cast has a lot of bit parters in it, I'm never quite sure what gets something classed as a cameo over a "proper" role. As we're in Hollywood there are obviously a lot of Hollywood stars making appearances and they've all got really strong casting behind them, but they barely get any screen time. We get some Sharon Tate background from Steve McQueen (Damien Lewis) at a party, later on we have Bruce Lee appear for the onset fight scene, there are a lot of faces popping up everywhere.

I briefly want to mention Bruce Lee in this film, since seeing the film I read a couple of pieces about his portrayal in this... I know nothing about him as a person beyond his martial arts skills and while I did find the Lee/Booth fight scene amusing I thought it was a little... off? Lee comes across as a bit of an arse, there's no denying that. Like I said, I know nothing about him, this could be a true depiction but I feel like I would have heard that before if he was. Regardless of the truth, the character didn't come across well, he could easily have been given a slightly cocky demeanour to allow for the challenge to happen without giving him that persona.

I haven't got enough time to talk about every actor in the film but there wasn't anyone who stuck out as being bad, every role was handled reasonably well. Whether they all needed to be there though is another matter.

Earlier I mentioned that the film has two story threads, those being Rick Dalton/Cliff Booth and Sharon Tate. We get the odd crossover moment with the two but ultimately there's no proper link until the end. One of the problems going into the film is that if you don't know anything about Sharon Tate and Charles Manson then one of these storylines isn't going to make a great deal of sense. I'd be interested to see how people going in without that knowledge found the story overall, there have to be some out there right?

OUATIH almost seems like an introduction to Manson being in Mindhunter season 2, you've even got potential crossover as he's played by the same guy. I found the Manson inclusion to be very misleading in the advertising. His appearance is beyond brief in the final cut and it felt like we were due a lot more after watching the trailer. I think I would have preferred the movie if it was weighted the other way with the Tate/Manson side as the focus and the Dalton/Booth side at the add on.

Despite Pitt's performance, the great setting and some other small highlight this film just didn't hit the right notes for me. It was so long, I could have forgiven that had there been a more complex link between the two bits of story. I went in with low expectations and when I came out those were only just met.

If you're considering leaving partway through this there are three reasons that you should stick it out.

- Brad Pitt as Cliff Booth
- Booth's dog
- The last ten minutes (give or take)

The 18 certificate is there for "strong bloody violence", somehow the large amount of drug use doesn't warrant inclusion on the card. Up until around the 2 hour 30 minutes mark this film is a 15. You've had drugs, language and some fights, but nothing that matches up to those last few minutes. They earn that 18 certificate... and it's hilarious. Cliff and his dog are epic and it was worth the rest of the film just to see that, there's some terrible (ridiculous) acting in it that potentially it could have done without but at least I came out slightly less annoyed.

Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2019/08/once-upon-time-in-hollywood-movie-review.html
  
Hottest Blood: The Ultimate in Erotic Horror
Hottest Blood: The Ultimate in Erotic Horror
Jeff Gelb | 1993 | Erotica, Horror
1
5.0 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
Shelf Life – Hottest Blood: The Ultimate in Erotic Horror is Neither of Those Things
(I’m gonna go ahead and throw a disclaimer on up here: You are about to read something that deals with purportedly “erotic” subject matter. If you don’t like the sound of that word, you might wanna go elsewhere. If it’s actually-erotic things that offend you, though, you’ll be fine.)

I like short story compilations because you get a variety of content that’s just as easy to breeze through if you have the time as it is to get to a stopping point and put down if you don’t. I like horror fiction because it usually involves the super-natural, which interests me, and intense emotional responses, which are almost always a good thing in writing. And I like eroticism because I am a warm-blooded human being with a pulse. However, on the whole, I do not like Hottest Blood.

I wanted to, I did. Look at that cover. It’s equal amounts scary and sexy, both in completely safe, PG-13-at-most kind of ways. Unfortunately, Softcore Succubus here is both the scariest and the sexiest thing about this book

Bluntly analogized, you know that feeling you get when you come across something on the internet that disturbs and/or disgusts you, and then you learn that there’s a dedicated group of people that gets off on it? Most of the stories in this book are that feeling captured in words.

Case in point, the story “Damaged Goods” by Elizabeth Massie, which as far as I can tell is about a couple of physically abused, emotionally damaged, developmentally stunted kids somewhere around their early teens who live with a religious fringe cult being led out to a field to have sex with each other while a nameless U.S. President watches and masturbates before both kids are drowned in a river by their preacher/pimp caretaker.

Or there’s “Mr. Right” by Chris Lacher, which tells the story of a college student named Russ who has a secret fetish for the deformed women in the freak show at a nearby carnival – a fascination which leads to him getting held down and forcibly raped by a group of unwashed subhuman mutants, which the detailed descriptions make sure you understand are completely revolting to all five senses. The story ends with him being dumped out behind the fairgrounds while a small, legless girl happily informs him that this is how all carnival workers reproduce, and he can look forward to seeing his own mutant rape-spawn in the show next year.

Or there’s “Abuse” by Matthew Costello, which simply shows us how the arrest of a Peewee Herman surrogate goes down in an adult movie theater before ending with another man jerking off with the cold, dry, severed hand in his pocket as he contemplates getting a new one to replace it.

The tone of these three are pretty much par for the course for the rest of the book: thoroughly disturbing, and sex is involved, but the disturbing feeling stems from revulsion rather than fear, and the sex bits are so far on the other end of the spectrum from erotic that it feels like the authors are trying to punish their readers for even expecting to be aroused in any way.

Of course, I said myself earlier that intense emotional responses are “almost always a good thing in writing.” By that merit alone, this book technically succeeds; in fact, if it had billed itself as shock fiction instead of erotic horror, I’d begrudgingly give it a medal in its class. The “aw, what the hell?!” moments are not as artistically executed as, say, a Chuck Palahniuk read, and they tend not to have as much depth to them, but strictly in terms of making you wish that you could unread words, they get the job done.

But that isn’t the job that Hottest Blood was hired to do, and that’s not what it put on its resume. It said it was going to “heat the blood and chill the mind,” and promised that “terror never felt this sexy!” It would have been more appropriate to say that “sex never felt this terrible.”

All of that said, if you abandon any hope of seeing anything resembling erotica or horror (scary horror, anyway), there are a few stories in here that are decent reads – mostly because they try to say something with their subject matter rather than use it to see how thoroughly they can ruin the idea of sex for the reader. To give a few quick nods of approval:

Nancy Holder’s “I Hear the Mermaids Singing,” which opens the anthology, is a dark and modern re-imagining of “The Little Mermaid” that brutally points up the drawbacks to throwing away your whole life and family in order to pursue someone that you know nothing about outside of a few fleeting glimpses and lustful inner fantasies.

J.L. Comeau’s “Black Cars” is the narrative of a high-class chauffeur as he tells his passenger an increasingly mysterious story about a couple of his regular customers, culminating in a creepy twist payoff that, in retrospect, actually makes it count as a legitimate horror story, and a decently gripping one at that.

And “Safe at Home” by Steve and Melanie Tem, while decidedly and disturbingly unsexy, at least has good reason to be; it’s a short character study of a young woman who’d been molested as a child, and the lasting and complex psychological damage resulting thereof that prevents her from having any normal social life or relationships, even with someone whom she legitimately likes, someone who knows what’s happened and sincerely cares for her.

So for the handful of intriguing stories that don’t make you quit (or wish you had) mid-read out of revolted disappointment, I can’t completely condemn Hottest Blood. If you want to test your own threshold for repulsion but are understandably hesitant to use online image searches to this end, I heartily recommend it.

If you are legitimately turned on by the idea of a man eating a woman alive and then gestating her alien spawn inside his own bloated body until his head detaches and crawls away (“How Deep the Taste of Love,” John Shirley), I suppose I still heartily recommend it, though I do so from a safe distance.

If you want to read one of the few stories involved that aren’t horrible, I heartily recommend trying to find them on their own somewhere else first.

But if you want “the ultimate in erotic horror,” stay the hell away. Softcore Succubus is a trap.
  
Damn. by Kendrick Lamar
Damn. by Kendrick Lamar
2017 | Rhythm And Blues
Kendrick Lamar is an iconic hip-hop artist outta Compton, California. Not too long ago, he released his fourth studio album, entitled, “DAMN.”.

1) Kendrick Lamar – “BLOOD.”
Lamar tackles the issue of life and death. He poses several questions over a melodic instrumental produced by Lamar, Bēkon, and Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith. One of them being, “Are we gonna live or die?” Lamar tells a brilliant story about him walking down a block, and he sees a blind lady in search of something she had lost. He goes over to help, and then he asks, “Hello, ma’am, can I be of any assistance? It seems to me that you have lost something. I would like to help you find it.” She replied, “Oh yes, you have lost something. You’ve lost your life.” And then we hear a gunshot. Lamar is shot. Did he lose his life? The dire ending answers the probing question posed in the beginning—we gonna die.

2) Kendrick Lamar – “DNA.”
Lamar explains why his DNA differs from a sucker’s DNA. His deoxyribonucleic acid consists of going through the school of hard knocks. He endured a rugged street life, prisons, money, drugs, alcohol, sex, murder, mayhem, loyalty, royalty, joy, etc. This is because his DNA comprises of things shared collectively by African-Americans who have been through the struggle. Lyrically, Lamar leaves earth, while rapping over an explosive track produced by Mike WiLL Made-It. From beginning to end, he doesn’t take a bar off and shows why conscience rap has resurrected into the new norm.

3) Kendrick Lamar – “YAH.”
Lamar let it be known that he’s diagnosed with real ni^^a conditions, and keeps it a hunnit by calling out Geraldo Rivera because of criticism Lamar received from a FOX NEWS segment. The kid Capri intro adds a classic east coast authenticity over a laid-back track produced by Bēkon, Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith, Sounwave, and DJ Dahi. Preconceived lies told by White slave masters to African slaves are melting like hot butter in the sun. Lamar, a descendant of those slaves, has awakened and knows himself.

4) Kendrick Lamar – “ELEMENT.”
Lamar, who Capri calls the ‘New Kung Fu Kenny’, continues his Shaolin-rap assault over a Wu-Tang-like track produced by Bēkon, Tae Beast, James Blake, Sounwave, and Ricci Riera. Lamar is simply on another level than his peers. He’s been through more sh*t than them, and he’s ready to put the Bible down and go eye for an eye for this sh*t. When he said, “I been stomped out in front of my mama / my daddy commissary made it to commas / B*tch, all my grandmas dead / So, ain’t nobody prayin’ for me, I’m on your head.”

5) Kendrick Lamar – “FEEL.”
Lamar beautifully expresses how he feels on a dope Sounwave-produced track, where Lamar raps, “I feel like the whole world want me to pray for ’em / But who the f*ck prayin’ for me?” Lamar feels that nobody ain’t prayin’ for him, and this void has him with a chip on his shoulders, looking at life from a dark, and troubled point of view. He feels pain and doesn’t see hope. Did the incident with the blind lady cause him to feel this way? Why does he feel this way? Kendrick raps, “I feel like it ain’t no tomorrow f*ck the world / The world is endin’, I’m done pretendin’… I feel like this gotta be the feelin’ what ‘Pac was…”

But Lamar knows ill-thinking is bad for his health, and he acknowledges the source of his negative thinking, “The feelin’ is toxic, I feel like I’m boxin’ demons / Monsters, false prophets schemin’,” and the list goes on and on. If no one is, just know that we are praying for you Kendrick, YAH-willing.

6) Kendrick Lamar – “LOYALTY” (FEAT. RIHANNA.)
Lamar and Rihanna explore one of the key elements in Lamar’s DNA, loyalty; and they pose a simple question—who are you loyal to? Is it your family? Friends? Or yourself? Maybe it’s money, weed, or alcoholic? Where does it begin and where does it end? Lamar and Rihanna do a wonderful job over a beautify track produced by Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith, Terrace Martin, Sounwave, and DJ Dahi.

7) Kendrick Lamar – “PRIDE.”
The Steve Lacy’s intro, “Love’s gonna get you killed, but pride’s gonna be the death of you and me,” fits perfect in the scheme of things. Lamar, a spiritual intellectual, understands Proverbs 16: 18, which states, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” So, Lamar uses those reference points to further expound his faith. In the beginning, Lamar’s love for the blind lady got him shot. And now, will his pride, the great satisfaction he feels when he reviews all that he has achieved, will that be the death of him? Over a smooth/laid-back track produced by Bēkon, Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith, and Steve Lacy, Lamar states that he can’t fake being humble, just because people are insecure.

He answers the question of pride
Lamar raps, “Sick venom in men and women overcome with pride. A perfect world is never perfect, only filled with lies. Promises are broken and more resentment come alive. Race barriers make inferior of you and I. See, in a perfect world, I’ll choose faith over riches. I’ll choose work over b*tches, I’ll make schools out of prison. I’ll take all the religions and put ‘em all in one service. Just to tell ’em we ain’t sh*t, but He’s been perfect.”

If Lamar maintains his Israelite faith over riches, and keep that equation as the top priority, he won’t be a victim of pride. But the question is—can Lamar remain humble amidst all the madness?

8) Kendrick Lamar – “HUMBLE.”
Lamar shows that being humble is easier said than done. Over a bouncy-head-nodding track produced by Mike WiLL Made-It, Lamar speaks his mind and gives zero f*cks on what people think about him. He’s braggadocios, confident, and asserts himself as the king of rap music. He sends a cryptic message to his competition, “Watch my soul speak, you let the meds talk. If I kill a ni^^a, it won’t be the alcohol. I’m the realest ni^^a after all, b*tch, be humble.”

9) Kendrick Lamar – “LUST.”
Lamar tackles the issue of lust, one of the main causes that fuel what we do. He begins by creating a scene, where lust has him trying to stick the tip of his phallus inside a woman’s vagina. She agrees, causing blood to run through his favorite vein. His logic, it doesn’t matter what you do—just make it count.

So, over a chilled- track produced by BADBADNOTGOOD, Sounwave, and DJ Dahi, Lamar raps, “Hop in the shower, put on your makeup, lace your weave up. Touch on yourself, call up your ni^^a, tell him he ain’t sh*t. Credit card scam, get you a Visa, make him pay your rent. Hop on the ‘Gram, flex on the b*tches that be hatin’ on you. Pop you a pill, call up your b*tches, have ‘em waitin’ on you. Go to the club, have you some fun, make that ass bounce. It’s whatever, just make it count.”

10) Kendrick Lamar – “LOVE.” (FEAT. ZACARI.)
Lamar turns the lights down over a contemporary R&B love song, produced by Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith, Greg Kurstin, Sounwave, and Teddy Walton. The theme of love and lust continues, but this time, into a more unchartered direction. Zacari’s melodic cadence compliments Kung Fu Kenny’s intimate love-lyrics to the love of his life, probably his fiancé Whitney Alford, Lamar’s high school sweetheart.

11) Kendrick Lamar – “XXX.” (FEAT. U2.)
Lamar gets political over an NWA-type track produced By Bēkon, Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith, DJ Dahi, Sounwave, and Mike WiLL Made-It. The theme is America and the plight and strife of young African-American males trying to make ends meet. Lamar talks about a man who calls him, needing prayer and advice because his son had been murdered. He wants to know what to do and seeks advice from Lamar because he’s anointed.

But Lamar doesn’t sugarcoat his advice. He tells the man straight up, “If somebody kills my son, that means somebody’s gettin’ killed.” Then, Lamar goes on to tell the man how he would go about doing the killing. America is an eye-for-an-eye nation, and forgiveness is hardly practiced.

12) Kendrick Lamar – “FEAR.”
Lamar deeps dig into his soul to confront his fears. He does so over a conversation track produced by The Alchemist. Lamar uses Deuteronomy 28:28 to make sense of his damnation, where the title track derived from. “The Lord shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart…,” states the biblical commandment. Lamar reasons that YAH cursed the Israelites (so-called Blacks, Hispanics, and Native American Indians) because of their iniquity. So, that explains their conditions in the wilderness of North America.

Pride
So, Lamar’s fear of lose it all like the biblical character forced him or scared him to not spend a dime. Not because he is cheap, but because he didn’t want to spend money because he feared running out of money, and going back to Section 8. Lamar raps, “30 shows a month and I still won’t buy me no Lexus.” Not a lot of people can say this.

13) Kendrick Lamar – “GOD.”
Lamar talks about the success that he doesn’t want to lose. He compares it to what it was like when he didn’t have fame and fortune. Even though he chooses faith over riches, he’s still feeling good laughing to the bank like aha. Over a laid-back track produced by Bēkon, Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith, Cardo, Sounwave, Ricci Riera, and DJ Dahi, Lamar tells listeners, “Don’t judge me,” because this is what God feels like. Matthew 7:1 states,

14) Kendrick Lamar – “DUCKWORTH.”
Lamar uses his last name, Duckworth, as a song to explain the relationship between his father, Ducky, and Anthony Tiffith, CEO of Top Dawg Entertainment. Lamar explained if Tiffith had killed Ducky, then he would be serving life, and Lamar would’ve grown up without a father. And there would have been no Top Dawg Entertainment, and probably no Kendrick Lamar.