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The Astonishing Color of After
The Astonishing Color of After
Emily X.R. Pan | 2018 | Young Adult (YA)
10
8.3 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
FEELS!!!!!!!! ALL THE FEELS!!!!!!!!!! The Astonishing Color of After brought to light feelings for me that I didn’t know I was feeling. I cried tears I didn’t know I needed to cry. This book resonated with me in ways I’ve never experience before while reading. This book rebroke my heart but it also healed it in ways I couldn’t heal myself.
Let me start at the beginning… Leigh’s mother commits suicide. Her mom’s name is Dorothy and goes by Dory for short. While my mom didn’t commit suicide, she did die unexpectedly in August of 2016. I know, I know you’re thinking what does this have to do with the book but just put your patient pants on. My mom’s name was Doria, and she went by Dory. While Leigh was lucky enough to be the one that didn’t find her mom, I wasn’t lucky enough to have the same luxury. I could relate to how Leigh was feeling on so many levels. So much so, it felt like the author had interviewed me and then written the book based on that interview. Leigh feels like she is to blame partly for her mother’s death. She feels like if she would have only done x better, if only she’d been in y place at z time she would have been able to save her mom. I know because I had these same thoughts and still do until this day. After reading this book and realizing there just wasn’t anything I could have done to change the outcome of what was destined to happen. But just because my mom isn’t physically here anymore doesn’t mean she’s gone forever. I still see her in myself every time I look in the mirror. She is always with me.
The magical realism aspect of this book brought the journey and the imagery to life for me. I could picture this big beautiful red bird soaring around Leigh. The more I read of this book the more I found myself looking to the sky to see what is out there for me, and then I realized that looking to the sky is something that I’ve done since the day my mom died. I find myself looking around at the clouds and the sky seeing if there is a trace of her looking down on me. Now my favorite time to look to the sky is at night and I imagine her as one of the stars looming overhead keeping an eye on me.
The characters in this book are so real. Leigh, her grandparents, her dad, and Axel. Though, I must admit I feel as though the story could have been just as good without Axel. Sometimes he just seemed to crowd the story and take away from what was happening. I think my most favorite character was Feng, and all the she represents. I absolutely loved this aspect of the book. I also loved Ghost Month as this was something I had never heard of before and it and it reminds me of one of my other favorite holidays El Dia de los Muertos. I loved learning about the Taiwanese culture.
The way the author wove this story together through her words brought the magic and the storytelling to life. Her writing style worked extremely well for the subject of this story and I can’t wait to see what she is going to write in the future. The only aspect of this story that just didn’t mesh for me was all the colors sprinkled throughout the story. Honestly though, that is such a minute detail that it’s barely worth mentioning.
As you can see this story hit me very close to home, and I am so incredibly grateful to the author for writing it. It rebroke my heart and then helped to heal that same broken heart.
Now, on to the important bits… Suicide… If you are ever in a position where you feel that you just absolutely can’t go on do me one solid. Pause. Pick up your phone, and text HELP to 741741. This is the number for the Crisis Text Line. You will be connected to one of their trained Crisis Counselors. I am a trained Crisis Counselor on the CTL and I can guarantee you that you are not alone in how you’re feeling. Ask for help, we’re here to listen, we’re trained to help you. You are not alone. Just remember 741741 and HELP. That’s all it takes and someone will be there for you.
  
The Bipolar Addict
The Bipolar Addict
Conor Bezane | 2019 | Education, Fiction & Poetry, Reference
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Very informative!
Rating: ☆☆☆☆.5

Review:
I received a copy to read and review from Smith Publicity for my honest opinion.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Drug abuse, alcohol abuse, suicide attempts, bullying, sexual abuse.

The Bipolar Addict is broken up into three parts: Part 1 - Conor's Story, Part 2 - Interviews of others who battle with Manic Depression and Bipolar disorder, and Part 3 - Talking of Recovery, getting help, and that sober is the new cool.

Part 1 follows the hardships Conor endured growing up. Bullying which eventually lead to alcohol abuse and then later drug abuse as he grew older. During this time, he also attempted suicide a few times. Conor was then diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, manic depression, and anxiety. Mix all that with alcohol and drug abuse and his body was struggling.

As I read, I was enthralled in the world of what Bipolar disorder really is. I was also blown away with the writing style. The Bipolar Addict is a debut novel by Conor Bezane and he definitely has a way of grabbing your attention and holding it instantly. A first time author, Conor has taken his life and spun it into a tale of struggles, sacrifice, and recovery that will tear the readers heart out, rip it into pieces, and then piece it back together, little by little.

Part 2 was just as interesting as part 1. You learn about a few others who used and through some rough patches like Conor. Part 3 was more informative compared to parts 1 and 2, talking about sober being the new cool and that it's healthy. The book ends with links and information on different helpful groups in the chance that you need to seek help for yourself.

"We are punks. We are poets. Musicians and artists. Professionals and intellectuals. We are drunk. High. Manic. Depressed. We almost died. And now we are stable and sober."

Reasons why I rated it 4.5 stars:
1. The plot:
There really wasn't much of a plot as this was a memoir/ self-help book. But the way Conor wrote, captivated my attention through and through.

2. My enjoyment:
I surprisingly was really interested in the entirety of this book. I couldn't put it down as Conor captivated me, not only in his writing but also the way he was able to take his life and spin it into a tale that read like he was a friend having a conversation.

3. Character and story development:
Again, this was a memoir/ self-help book, so there wasn't much development as it wasn't needed.

4. Grammar and spelling:
I did notice a few grammatical and spelling errors but for this being a debut, I really didn't mind.

5. The overall story:
The way that Conor wrote, you could feel the pain, loss, and loneliness. The lows of depression and the highs of mania. It was all otherworldly and from someone who has balanced depression and anxiety the majority of my life, I felt the painful and roller coaster of a life that Conor lived. This was definitely worth the read and was highly informative.

"Keep coming back."
  
The Suicide Squad (2021)
The Suicide Squad (2021)
2021 | Action, Comedy, Crime
Anarchic and very funny script, with some great visual gags (1 more)
Elba, Davis and Robbie all great. As is new name Daniela Melchior.
For a "15" certificate, I thought the violence was way OTT (0 more)
What a difference a "The" makes! The original "Suicide Squad" from 2016 was a botched and lacklustre affair, getting just 5/10 from me. James Gunn's semi-reboot is hyper-violent, overlong, totally ludicrous but a whole bunch of fun.

Positives:
- "From the horribly beautiful mind of James Gunn" gushes the trailer. But in this case, they ain't kidding. The film is (at times) hugely inventive in its visual gags as well as its dialogue. On the DC/Marvel superhero spectrum, this is right up at the "Ragnarok" end in terms of comedy value. It made me guffaw a good dozen times.

- To match that, the action scenes are suitably ludicrous and over-the-top. They feature the most "out there" big-boss since Mr Stay Puft terrorised New York in the original "Ghostbusters"!

- All the cast seem to be having a blast, which carries you, as the audience, along with the fun. Both Viola Davis and Idris Elba add real gravitas at the middle of it all, but Robbie's reprise of Harley Quinn tends to get all the best lines and the most memorable sequences. Her petal-strewn decimation of a platoon of security guards is something to behold.

- But of the lesser-known names, it's Daniela Melchior who really stood out for me as Cleo Cazo - Ratcatcher 2. This appears to be the first non-Portuguese feature she's done, and a great future beckons I think. Such extraordinary screen presence! Loved her character too: a "millennial" who sleeps in and questions what an OHP is!

- Great music choices, as you would expect from the "Guardians of the Galaxy" guy.

Negatives:
- Like Polka-Dot's mum, the comedy style is all over the place! (You have to have watched the movie to understand that gag!). I guess that's true of any comedy, but a number of the jokes feel contrived and didn't fully land.

- There is just so much gratuitous violence in this one that I am frankly amazed that the BBFC awarded it only a UK "15" certificate (this is my second query in a row to the BBFC - they need to employ me!). I reckon this will prove to have the highest body count of any movie in 2021. It's all done in a comic-book style, but when "Army of the Dead" (review still to follow) gets an "18", I'm not quite sure why this is much different.

Summary Thoughts on "The Suicide Squad": I'd mentally set myself up to really hate this one. But the opposite turned out to be true. As a comedy it made me laugh like a drain at times, and although some of the violence went somewhat over the top for me, I thought it to be a fine summer popcorn blockbuster (but very much for adults).

(For the full graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies on the web, Facebook and Tiktok. Thanks).
  
Freeing his Mate: A Howls Romance (Shifter World: Shifter Affairs #1)
Freeing his Mate: A Howls Romance (Shifter World: Shifter Affairs #1)
Nancy Corrigan | 2018 | Paranormal, Romance
10
9.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
Freeing his Mate: A Howls Romance (Shifter World: Shifter Affairs #1) by Nancy Corrigan
Freeing His Mate is the first book in the Shifter Affairs series, and it is set in the same world as the Royal Kagan series. That being said, this review is for this book alone. And what a book it is! You have an 'old' wolf, depressed and contemplating suicide. He meets a waitress who perks his interest, only to find out that she is bonded unwillingly to somebody else as his breeding partner. Throw in an old murder, drugs rampaging through a town, assassins, new partners, cute kids, and you have a book that will keep you engrossed from start to finish.

Whilst this is the first book in the new series, we do reunite with some old favourites of mine from the Royal Kagan series. These appearances enhance this story without taking it over, giving it a depth and a richness. There are new characters to grow fond of, and wait impatiently for their story. A perfect combination of new and old, guaranteed to satisfy.

This story was exceedingly well written, with no editing or grammatical errors that disrupted my reading. The scenes flowed smoothly from one to the next, and the pacing was perfect. An absolute stunner of a first book, that will definitely leave you wanting more. Highly recommended by me.

* A copy of this book was provided to me with no requirements for a review. I voluntarily read this book, and my comments here are my honest opinion. *

Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
  
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Tatiana Temple (3 KP) rated Find Me in Books

Jan 3, 2018  
Find Me
Find Me
J.S. Monroe | 2017 | Thriller
9
9.5 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
Even when you think you have it figured out, you don't. (0 more)
Can be hard to keep up with as the POV changes every chapter, but I believe it was meant to be that way. (0 more)
Kept me wondering
Contains spoilers, click to show
Find Me is about a young man named Jar who is convinced that his girlfriend, Rosa, who allegedly committed suicide five years earlier is alive. Throughout the novel you wonder if maybe she really is alive, if he has had a psychotic break and is imagining it all, or if you are missing something. This novel kept me on the edge of my seat, even with the last few sentences.
Towards the end of the novel you discover that Rosa is in fact alive but not in the capacity that you expect her to be. She is being held captive by her Uncle Martin. When Jar rescues her you get a sense of relief only to have a question raised in the last 3 pages of the book that still has me wondering if Rosa's abduction was in fact government sanctioned.

The only reason why I didn't give this a 10/10 is because towards the middle-end of the book you start reading in her Uncle Martin's POV who is a complete psycopath. Some of his thoughts are rather disturbing and some were hard for me to get through as I have a deep love for animals.
Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this book and I definitely would recommend it to anyone looking for something that will keep your brain active throughout.
  
Time: The Kalief Browder Story
Time: The Kalief Browder Story
2017 | Crime, Documentary
Bawled like like baby, heartwrenching, horrific and utterly disgusted
It's been a while since any TV series or film has affected me as much as the Kalief Browder story. I think it made me feel nauseous at one point. The level of hideous injustice Browder faced, more so the fact he was just a boy, is worse than most police corruption cases covered by the media.

An innocent boy was held without trial, without conviction for three years in one of the most notorious prisons (Rikers Prison) where he was beaten senselessly by correction officers and inmates alike. He was then held in solitary confinement for 322 days (UN calls 15 days a human rights violation), tortured, starved and attempted suicide. This is New York. This is the American justice system.

When he was eventually released his mental health suffered, and it just gets worse and worse. I won't say anymore before I burst into tears again.

There are some remarkable interviews in here with Kalief's family, who were torn to shreds, top speakers such as Attorney General Eric Holder, "The New Jim Crow" author Michelle Alexander, journalist Shaun King, and even Jay-Z and Rosie O'Donnell, who were close friends. The biggest take away is how broken the system is / intended racial segregation and how important it is for the civil rights movement to join forces with the greater American populace to stop further injustices.

Seriously keep the tissues at hand. This is a hundred times more disturbing than Making A Murderer and The Keepers.
  
Bared to You (Crossfire, #1)
Bared to You (Crossfire, #1)
Sylvia Day | 2012 | Erotica
8
8.3 (23 Ratings)
Book Rating
When I first started reading I had to double check the title to make sure I wasn't reading 50 Shades. There are a lot of similarities in the book, but there are some differences as well. What's the same...
Well, both Eva & Ana literally fell for their men. Both men are very rich and have a way of gathering information on their ladies without their permission. Christian & Gideon both have dominant and possessive qualities about them, but Gideon's is a bit more accepting and consensual between lovers. Ana and Eva are both just out of college, although Eva's man didn't buy the company after she started working. He already owned it. Both women have issues with their mother and both men have some mental issues they need to work on.

Now the differences...
Eva has her own mental issues to deal with and her family has money, where Ana needed to work. Gideon wasn't adopted like Christian, but after his father committed suicide, his mother remarried and he has a step-brother he's not too fond of. There are a lot less questions concerning what Eva will or will not do in the bedroom. Eva has a lot of insecurities and the smallest things seem to send her running(which is her M.O.)

Overall, I couldn't put the book down. I wanted to know more. Their sexual encounters were frequent, intense and powerful. I didn't like how often the "c" word was used, but other than that, I'm ready for book 2.
  
The Second Wife
The Second Wife
Sheryl Browne | 2019 | Fiction & Poetry, Thriller
8
9.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
This cleverly, well-written novel is a fast read because you will not want to put it down.
I was provided with a complimentary copy of this book so I could give an honest review.

In the psychological suspense novel, The Second Wife by Sheryl Browne, Rebecca and Nicole swore to be best friends. They moved away from each other but stayed in touch as many of us do today - by text and email. They, however, unlike most of us, remain close.

Rebecca receives news from Nicole's devoted and loving husband, Richard, letting her know Nicole is dead. She killed herself by drowning. Rebecca is shocked and tries to understand why Nicole would do such a thing. She moves into Nicole's home and gradually takes over Nicole's life.

Sheryl Browne takes the reader on a roller coaster of emotions with a story filled with love, marriage, family, secrets, betrayal, lies, deceit, intrigue, twists and turns, but, most importantly, friendship. Rebecca is determined to find out how her friend that was so full of life could commit suicide.

The story is told from multiple points of view and uses flashbacks to help the reader better understand the characters and their actions. This cleverly, well-written novel is a fast read because you will not want to put it down.

This is the fist book by Sheryl Browne I have read but it will not be the last.

Review published on Philomathinphila.com, Smashbomb, Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble on 3/6/19.
  
The Good Samaritan
The Good Samaritan
John Marrs | 2017 | Thriller
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Not what I expected
I've read a couple of John Marrs' books now and enjoyed them, so I was looking forward to trying this one out as it has an intriguing premise. However it didnt turn out quite how I expected, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

The plot centres around Laura, a suicide helpline worker who finds victims to encourage and help plan their deaths. Laura is a nasty piece of work. It's been a long time since I've read a book with a protagonist that I've detested as much as Laura. She's horrible but in a good way, as you spend most of the book willing her to fail and get her comeuppance. The writing is very good and the other characters in this are also well developed. It's a gripping read and despite being fairly long, i struggled to put this one down.

The problem i found with this though, which I'm still a little uncertain about, is that the story unfolds in a way that I hadn't expected. Around a third of the way in, it switches courses and changes into something that although it isn't bad, it just wasn't expected. And the ending too is a little frustrating and not as satisfying as I would have liked. However if you want to read a book with a truly detestable main character that makes you want to scream (kind of in a good way), then this is definitely worth a read.
  
He'll do anything to protect his secrets. She'll stop at nothing to expose the truth.
It only takes one person to break the silence.
When solicitor Finn Fitzpatrick is approached by a man to investigate the death of his daughter, her first instinct is to refuse.
The father is grieving, and unable to accept that his daughter committed suicide. And yet something about the man’s story chimes with Finn.
Why did a bright, confident, beautiful young girl suddenly drop out of school? Could the answer lie in her relationship with Ireland's most famous film director?
The deeper Finn goes into the case, the more dark, twisted and dangerous the picture becomes.
Because these are powerful people she is trying to expose. And they're willing to do anything to keep the truth hidden.

This is a brilliant crime thriller debut from Catherine Kirwan featuring Finola 'Finn' Fitzpatrick, a solicitor, set in the small town of Cork in Ireland
This is a fast-paced and gripping novel.
This one's written from a really interesting perspective of a slightly eccentric solicitor rather than a cop.
The story is written very well and the characters are interesting and jump off the page.
Kirwan hits on one of the hottest issues in our contemporary world, and handles it sensitively as she weaves a hugely compelling novel around it.
Definitely a worthwhile read and I look forward to reading more by this author.

Many thanks to Netgalley/Catherine Kirwan/Random House UK, Cornerstone for a digital copy of this title.