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Dana (24 KP) rated Empire of Storms in Books

Mar 23, 2018  
Empire of Storms
Empire of Storms
Sarah J. Maas | 2016 | Children
8
9.4 (22 Ratings)
Book Rating
This review will have a lot of spoilers for the books, so if you haven't read it, I suggest you turn away now. This is going to be a long review!

Let's start off with a character analysis section:

The Little Folk: I loved how they gave Aelin little gifts. I want more interaction with them in the next book!!

Elide Lochan: Elide doesn't see her own strength. She has been through hell, but still knows kindness and love. She has so much hope and is loyal to a fault. She loves Lorcan, but is constantly stopped by this idiocy. She has three freaking guardian angels: Aelin, Manon, and Aedion. She is a half-witch, which is cool! She was able to withstand the torment of the wyrdkey with little side effects! She is protected by the God of Death's consort which is cool because the God of Death is Lorcan's protector. She learns from and is strengthened by her crappy past. She can STILL LOVE AFTER EVERYTHING! Also, she is such a tricky schemer and a great liar!

Lorcan Salvaterre: He is a dummy and is too fixated on Maeve to see that he can have real love with Elide. He is death-protected by Hellas-and is a great hunter. He has a heart of gold underneath all that grime. He freaking makes Elide a brace for her ankle for goodness sake! Lorcan is vengeful as f, especially when Elide is threatened. I feel like he's going to be a big help to Aelin's course!

Aedion Ashryver: He's Bisexual!!! He is so in Love with Lysandra and is a flirtatious bastard. He doubts Aelin too much and questions her all the time. I get it, but it gets disheartening. He has a bad ass shot (that sea wyvern shot though!!) and is obviously a skilled warrior. He has an interestingly complicated relationship with his father. I love the the White Wolf of the North! I love his tattoo: the knot made of the courts' names!

Lysandra: Oh my goodness, she is so freaking strong! I love her powers! She is so protective of her girls, especially Evangeline. Her Snow Leopard and Sea Dragon forms are my favorite! She can and will conquer as many men as need be (mainly in killing, not sex). She loves Aedion and is so loyal to Aelin that she would literally become her.

Evangeline: She is the innocence of the group. When she goes, the group is harder and lacks the absolute faith that everything will be alright.

Fleetfoot: I love her, that is all.

Dorian Havillard: A king without a kingdom. He is a boy with powers he has no idea how to control. A boy whose friends left him. He has to learn his powers alone like he has all his life. He is trusting but questions things-he knows when he should hold back. He loves Manon and oh my sweet goodness, that cabinet scene. He is great at riddles too!

Mannon Blackbeak: OUR QUEEN!!!! She protects her own and can let go of prejudices when she needs to do the best for her people. She is so savage! She is a great leader willing to die for her thirteen. I can't wait until she kills her grandmother. SHE WILL BRING PEACE FOR HER PEOPLE!!!!! She obviously has feelings for Dorian.

Abraxos: He is the best damned wyvern ever. Even though Manon tells him to "go hide," he finds a freaking army and saves the day!

Gavriel: He's not the best dad, but he's working on it! He is too loyal to Maeve, but he cares about people. He is a lot more emotional than I would have guessed. Lol, Uncle Kitty-Cat.

Fenrys: He is such a sarcastic little ass, but a great warrior (both in the battlefield and in bed ;D). He kinda reminds me of Cassian. His situation sucks with Maeve because both he and his brother are basically prisoners and sex objects for the queen. I hope he will find a way to break the blood bond for him and his brother to help Aelin. Also, WINNOWING!!!

Queen Maeve: She is a witch with a capital B and I hate her.

Erawan: Power hungry as hell.

Elena: She is so dumb. I get it, she made a mistake, but she was still dumb. She acts before thinking and doesn't understand sacrifice or strategy. She pushed a war onto a group of children for goodness sake!

Rowan Whitethorn: He has come such a long way since Heir of Fire. He is so emotional and a freaking worry wart, loyal and trusting as hell, but he is still bad ass. He lets his woman fight when she needs to. He embraces the past mistakes of his friends and family. He is a horny little hawk. HE IS AELIN'S MATE AND HUSBAND!!! And he is the KING OF TERRASAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Strategic as hell-the thing with the Whitethorn cousins-hell yes! When he gets his hands on Maeve, shit will go down! VENGEANCE WILL BE HIS and Maeve will die horribly!! His reaction when he found out Aelin was captured was gut wrenching! Also, I loved it when he called Aelin Milady. Freaking great!

Aelin Ashryver Galanthys: She is always 500 steps ahead of everyone else. She shuts everyone down with her witty comebacks. She lets Aedion think the worst of her because she doesn't want to get their hopes up. She is not too trusting but is willing to sacrifice herself for everyone else. "But your faces are so wonderful when I get to reveal them." WOW AELIN!! When Deanna took over Aelins super power moment-I was terrified. I hate that she has to sacrifice herself. I just want her to be happy!! I loved how she pulled all of the characters from The Assassin's Blade into this! She's bloody brilliant! Using all of those Life Debts!! Her reaction to Elide is heartbreaking. Killing all of the Valg was great! When she slipped into the Celeana person, I go so freaking excited!! She was so close to settling and Maeve had to freaking ruined it all! She could have lived forever and been so happy!

Now onto some plot analysis:

So this book had a pretty awesome start since we got a flashback to the first war with Elena and Erawan. I love the little history throughout the book! The flashbacks with Elena and Nehemia were so freaking sad. I cried when they talked about Nehemia and Aelin's respective sacrifices. I feel like we get to go deeper into the history even though this is the second to last book!

Nicknames in all of Sarah J Maas' books are so cute! I love how Aelin and Rowan call each other Fireheart and Buzzard.

Family (especially chosen and made family) is so important in all of Sarah J Maas' books. Characters are willing to die to protect those they love and I think that's something important to put into books. The fact that you can always find a home in your people is very nice to see.

Women are the ones to be truly feared in this series because they have the most power. They are all so badass and never take shit from the male characters!

The multiple PoVs were very well done. As you may have realized from my other reviews, I am not a fan on multiple PoV novels much, so the fact I loved this one is great!

I think it was really cool how each character is being guided by at least one God. I have a crackpot theory about this that connects this series to the ACOTAR series. So it is stated multiple times that the Gods want to "go home" because they are trapped, right? So what if they are our Night Court Crew? Some of the descriptions of the powers fit!

I loved how SJM described the process of the magic weilding.

There was a great plot structure and pacing.

The Mycenians are so interesting! I called it that Rolfe was a Mycenian before I got to that part!
I want to know what Rowan said to Rolfe back at Skull's Bay.

All the ships got to have fun time together. Well, except for Elide and Lorcan.

I wish we could have had Choal and Nesryn in this book, but I understand why we didn't.

One thing I didn't like was how similar some of the plot points and characters were to ACOTAR and ACOMAF. Even thought they're both by SJM, I wish there wasnt' as much overlap.

Overall, I loved this book--a few thinggs could have been changed to keep it more significantly different from ACOTAR but it was still great.

Some Quotes I loved:

"Because destroying a symbol can break the spirits of men as much as bloodshed." (44)

"To call in old debts and promises. To raise an army of assassins and thieves and exiles and commoners. To finish what was started long, long ago." (72)

"One does not deal with Celeana Sardothian. One survives her." (241)

"Even when this world is a forgotten whisper if dust between the stars, I will love you." (350)
  
A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)
A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)
2014 | Comedy, Western
Neil Patrick Harris is delightfully devious. (1 more)
MacFarlane shows he has potential in his on-screen acting debut.
The humor is at times very vulgar and immature. (2 more)
The film is slow-paced and overly long.
"A Dozen Ways to Die in the West" would have been a more appropriate title.
A Million Ways to Die in the West is good for a few laughs but it feels like it goes on unreasonably long. Still, if you're a fan of MacFarlane's other works, you'll most likely enjoy his parody of the Old West.
Following the success of his directorial debut, Ted, Seth MacFarlane steps in front of the movie camera for the first time in his new film, A Million Ways to Die in the West. MacFarlane is best known as the creator of the popular animated television series, Family Guy, and he was also the host of the Oscars just two years ago. Now he’s taking the starring role in a film he wrote and directed himself. Here MacFarlane plays a cowardly sheep farmer named Albert who is miserably living in the dangerous Old West. Or rather, the not-so-dangerous Old West. Despite what the title suggests, there’s not a whole lot of dying going on in A Million Ways to Die in the West. You won’t find a whole lot of substance either, but there are a fair amount of laughs if you’re able to tolerate the crude toilet humor and dirty jokes. All in all, MacFarlane does a decent job in this comedy, but his jokes stick too close to his own conventions, and much like life on the frontier, the film can be kind of a drag.

If you’ve ever seen Family Guy, you should feel right at home with the humor in this film. It’s crass, edgy, violent, and full of pop culture references. Although, given that this is an R-rated movie, MacFarlane’s able to push the limits further than usual, and he makes sure to do that by including a lot of raunchy humor and toilet-gags. Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes, male genitals are still the hottest thing in comedy right now. As you’ve no doubt deduced, this is certainly not a film you’d want to take your kids to see. Nor is it for the easily-offended. Though in the film’s defense, it’s not entirely tasteless, and its use of vulgarity isn’t overly frequent. There’s plenty of great slapstick physical comedy and some pretty hilarious dialogue. I laughed more than I thought I would, and was never so disgusted that I wanted to walk out. It’s an entertaining film, it just happens to run a little long and lose momentum down the stretch. Plus the main premise of the film is never all that compelling to begin with.

In A Million Ways to Die in the West, MacFarlane’s character Albert is a man entirely self-aware of the time and place he’s living in, as well as the many dangers that come with it. He sheepishly lives his life, terrified by the threat of death that lurks around every corner. When his beloved girlfriend leaves him for a man with a mighty mustache, Albert has to cowboy up to prove his machismo and try to win her back. Luckily for him, he meets a gun-toting woman named Anna who’s happy to help him face his fears and show him the ropes of being a cowboy. Unfortunately however, this new friendship ends up putting Albert right into the crosshairs of Clinch Leatherwood, the deadliest outlaw around.

While MacFarlane does a respectable job in his first foray into acting, his character feels rather uninspired. I couldn’t help but see him as a hodgepodge of various Family Guy characters, having the clumsiness of Peter Griffin, the self-consciousness of Chris Griffin, and the intelligence and charm of Brian. Given that he created that show, perhaps that should be expected, but it just felt like Albert was lacking a unique and consistent identity. He’s a character who can be charming and funny, but he also comes off seeming like a jerk. All in all, the film has a good cast of actors, with Neil Patrick Harris being the stand-out of the bunch. He plays the pompous, mustached snob, Foy, who steals the heart of Albert’s girlfriend, Louise. Giovanni Ribisi and Sarah Silverman are likable as the flawed, clueless couple who serve as Albert’s close friends, Edward and Ruth. Although their characters stay pretty comfortably within the realm of what you would expect from their respective actors, with Edward being the naïve nice guy, while Silverman’s Ruth is the seemingly-sweet-and-innocent, foul-mouthed hussy. Charlize Theron does a fine job as Albert’s mentor, Anna. She has a strong presence in the film and is fun to watch, but despite her best efforts, the emotional element she brings to the story ends up feeling forced and unconvincing. Though that’s no fault of her own. It’s just hard to imagine her, or anyone, falling head over heels so easily and suddenly for a guy like Albert. Then, of course, there’s Liam Neeson, who is effective in his performance as the intimidating villain, Clinch, but would have benefitted from more screen-time.

A Million Ways to Die in the West proficiently parodies the western film genre, capturing the right atmosphere for the setting and time period. Visually it’s a pleasant film to look at, with good camera-work, well-created sets, and lots of beautiful scenery. This makes it all the more disappointing then that the filmmakers decided to place a visual filter over the entirety of the film to give it a more old-fashioned look. As a result, there is a constant flickering throughout the whole movie, and while not quite seizure-inducing, it certainly is distracting. At times you kind of get used to it and forget about it, but it really stands out in scenes with heavy lighting and most of the movie takes place in broad daylight. On the audio side of things, the music is appropriately fitting, but little of it is particularly noteworthy. There is a great song about mustaches, accompanied with a well-orchestrated dance number led by Neil Patrick Harris in what is undoubtedly one of the highlights of the film. Additionally the film’s theme song is appropriately fun. The visual effects in the movie, although limited, are done quite well and nicely add to the film’s comedic effect. Although I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say the movie could have done just fine without all of the animated urinating sheep.

I think the film’s greatest flaw is the fact that it’s doing too much as it tries to incorporate all of the main stereotypes of the western genre. It has duels, bar brawls, jailbreaks, horse chases, and even capture by Indians thrown in for good measure. In trying to cover all of the bases, the movie ends up running too long and becomes a little boring and tired. Rather than building up to a climax, the film diverges with some unnecessary scenes, and then concludes with a lackluster ending. It would have been cool to see Clinch and his group of bandits lay siege to the main town, which could have given the filmmakers an opportunity to create a wide variety of deaths, and allow Albert to exercise his newly developed skills before setting up to an ultimate final showdown. Maybe that would be adding to the long list of clichés, but at least it would have given this slow-paced film some much needed adrenaline and would have made it more true to its misleading title. There are also several cameo appearances in the film, and while a couple of them are great conceptually, I don’t think any of them are quite as satisfying as they should be. They end up feeling out of place, like last-second additions that have no purpose other than to acknowledge other films. I can appreciate the attempt but the cameos aren’t particularly funny and they just seems to emphasize how much better those other films are.

Seth MacFarlane’s A Million Ways to Die in the West is good for a few laughs, but just like his character Albert’s long-winded ramblings, it feels like it goes on unreasonably long. It’s still an entertaining film regardless, and if you’re a fan of MacFarlane’s other work, you’ll most likely enjoy his parody of the Old West. The movie has a talented cast, some truly great scenes such as a bar brawl and a memorable dance, as well as plenty of good old-fashioned slapstick, and witty dialogue. If you can handle the occasional gross-out gag, you’ll probably have a good time. Just don’t expect to actually see the many ways people can die In the Old West. The movie doesn’t show many deaths at all, and all the best ones you likely already saw in the trailer.

(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 6.3.14.)
  
The Godfather (1972)
The Godfather (1972)
1972 | Crime, Drama
10/10
Contains spoilers, click to show
"I believe in America…."

        What is it about someone you care about that sets them apart? Are they family, a friend, or someone you feel just needs help? What causes you to go the extra mile to put someone else ahead of yourself? You may find the answers in your religion, your upbringing, or in movies. For example, say your daughter goes out on a date with a guy and she is violently beaten by him and one of his friends. You go see her in the hospital and she cannot even weep because of the pain. So trying to keep your cool you press charges and try by the legal means to bring the young men to justice. It doesn't happen, their sentences are suspended. That may make you lose faith in the system that is supposed to protect you. So now you go to someone else who could help. This person is a bigshot, a pezzonovante in his own way but outside the system. You explain what happened and what you did, and all he says is 'why didn't you come to me first?' How many times in your life have some of us gone to others that don't care and asked for help instead of going to the ones that actually care. And the problem is solved. Imagine for another example that your father is in the hospital and men are coming to kill him. And you are the only one there that can help him. Imagine that you had your own dreams and your own goals that were different to what your father wanted. But in this moment you put all that aside to help your father survive. You assure him that everything will be ok and you are with him now. You bluff out the men trying to kill him and your father is saved. Most of us may never have to defend our dads from someone trying to kill him. But seeing someone laying helpless in a hospital bed in need of help we can all relate to. Every son, every daughter, every parent, every sibling, every friend. You see everybody wants to talk about the gangster mafia element of The Godfather, and say that is what it is all about. But family plays an even bigger role in the story by being the driving force behind the main characters. Family, love, loyalty, sacrifice all these elements are used in the movie to bring a standard boring mafia shootout movie to the level of greatest movie of all time. Francis Ford Coppola used as much he could to bring this point home. The wedding scene was not made up by any means but instead taken from other weddings witnessed by every Italian who has ever been to a wedding. Bringing envelopes filled with money to the bride, nieces dancing on the feet of uncle's, people waiting in line to see the father of the bride, sandwiches in white paper being tossed around. 'two gabagool, one proshootoh!' Then go to the kitchen to make spaghetti. Need a recipe? Try 'a little of oil then fry some garlic, throw in some tomatoes and tomato paste, fry it, make sure it does not stick, get it to boil, put in all your sausage and meatballs, add some wine and a little bit of sugar and that's the trick.' That recipe has been in Italian kitchens long before the cameras rolled. Need an idea for some quality time with the kids, well go to work do what you have to do and pick up some cannolis before you get home. Just remember to leave the gun and take the cannolis. Coppola always said he had to be good or no cannolis when his dad got home to share with the family. Coppola also put in his own family to work, his dad scored the movie, his sister Talia was Connie, and his daughter played the baby in the baptism scene. The family was on both sides of the family. But for me the movie revolves around Don Vito Corleone and Marlon Brando. Mario Puzo based the character of Don Corleone on his mother, everytime the Don opened his mouth all that came out was the passion of his mother, her wisdom, her ruthlessness, and her unconquerable love for her family and for life itself. Therefore only the greatest actor of the day will do to play the part. Coppola agreed and suggested either Brando or Laurence Olivier. Olivier was considered and it would have been interesting but he eventually passed on the role. Only two men wanted Brando, Coppola and Puzo. Brando had a history of being difficult and the studio executives nearly vetoed his casting. Coppola was able to make a deal with in order to cast Brando. Brando had to agree to do the movie for nothing, he had to put up a bond in order to cover cost overruns, and he had to do a screen test. They only got to the screen test because Brando transformed himself from a forty year old man into a sixty year old mafia don before their eyes in a matter of minutes. When the executives saw the footage they said ‘no no no, WOW THAT'S INCREDIBLE!’ Brando would be The Godfather. But Brando still needed a little extra help. If you watch the movie, everytime Don Corleone is speaking and stops and looks off in the distance he is reading from a card with his lines on it. He still won an oscar though. Two scenes are my favorite in the movie. One is the scene in the restaurant, I feel like I don’t need to explain it, because it is the most famous scene. Just know that without that scene the movie would not have existed. When you shoot a movie, the scenes are viewed day by day by the studio decision makers. They were hating what they were seeing, everything shot before the restaurant scene was met with cruel criticism by everyone on the outside not working on the movie. All Coppola could do was show them this scene and the movie was not only saved but validated. There are moments in the movie that other scenes build to, the restaurant was one of those scenes. You know of it’s importance because of everything that preceded it. The other scene is the meeting. Don Corleone stands before the other mafia dons and surrenders to them and their wishes. He reasons with them in order to come to a peaceful solution. But there is a catch: if you mess with my other son or if ‘he’s struck by a bolt of lightning. Then I’m going to blame some of the people in this room and that I do not forgive. So with that aside let me say that I swear, on the souls of my grandchildren, that I will not be the one that breaks the peace that we’ve made here today.’ There is a time for peace and a time for reckoning. This scene is my favorite because you believe him, you go along with his plea for peace. But the other dons do not realize it is not a surrender but a tactical retreat.
So the movie went on to make a lot of money, win a bunch of awards, and won it’s way on a bunch of lists that say it’s great. I was lucky enough to not know that when I first saw the movie. I saw it for what it was: a father and three sons. One son was intense and savage, another was sweet and innocent, another was conviving and calculating, the father was all those combined. But the father was the steadying force in all their lives. That is why when they all find out he was shot they react in ways we all would react. When you see the father lying in the street his second son is there to help but can’t, all he can do is cry and yell ‘papa.’ The first son nearly strong arms one of his father’s closest associates because he wants someone to beat up. The third son panics and tries to do whatever he can to help. That is for the audience, and that that’s how everyone relates. Finally, I’ll quote Martin Sheen: ‘The Godfather is the best filmmaking ever in the history of American cinema. There is nothing that speaks more to who we are, where we came from, what we stand for, and where we’re gonna go. That’s the work of a true genius.’ I agree. It is my favorite, of what I’ve seen of course.
        
".... Don Corleone."
  
Bunny Party at Maple Valley
Bunny Party at Maple Valley
2021 | Animals, Card Game, Humor
What kinds of pets did you have growing up? My family was allowed one dog throughout my formative years, and I even tried to keep a turtle once in college. I have not ever had rabbits, but my brother did – Brewster. He was a cool bunny. Kinda freaked out sometimes and made a huge mess, but overall a nice little fella. I am trying to imagine an entire village of Brewsters planning a party and inviting all their friends. I can’t really do it, but now I don’t have to – there’s a game I can play.

Bunny Party at Maple Valley (which I shall refer to as simply Bunny Party from here) is a sweet and cute little card game for three or four players. In it players are the titular bunnies decorating for and competing to win the chance to host the Night Sky Party at their place. However, in this game more often than not the victory is shared between they who amass the requisite five decorations and their neighbor who also co-hosts the event! The bunnies gotta get crackin’ so let’s get going!

PS – I will be reviewing the 3-player version of the game, which has ever-so-slightly different rules.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup, character cards are shuffled and two dealt to each player. They choose one to be their avatar and discard the other back to the box. The large deck of cards with the house on the back is shuffled and placed on the table within reach. The villager cards are shuffled and one is drawn and placed outside the play area – it will not be used this round. The other five villagers are arranged as a market of friends. Each player draws three cards on the first round, and the game is ready to begin!
Bunny Party is played over a series of rounds until one player satisfies the win condition. Each round consists of eight phases: Turn Start, Tidy a Card, Villagers Visit, Play Cards, Trade, Play Cards (again), Party Start?, and Villagers Go Home. Turn Start typically involves players setting the table for the round. First, the villager cards are re-shuffled, one set aside to be ignored this round (they are staying home), and the remainders displayed. Then each player draws two cards from the deck and collects one Trade Token.

Next, all players will choose one of their cards they drew during the Tidy a Card step to be placed in a temporary discard pile face-down. Alternatively, a player may forego the Tidy in order to place a card in front of another player by spending one Trade Token. Once all players have tidied a card or placed one in front of another player, the Tidy pile is shuffled, then flipped as a stack to the top of the discard pile, face-up.

The villagers are now becoming impatient, so players will allow them audience during this Villagers Visit phase. Each player chooses a villager from those available to host during their party preparation. These villagers offer special abilities each round and can be very valuable at certain times during the game.

While the villagers are visiting, players may next Play Cards from their hand. These cards are typically of three types: Item, Event, or Decoration. Item cards are placed in the player’s tableau and offer one-time or lingering effects. Event cards are typically one-and-done cards to be completed and then discarded. Decorations are what players are really after, as they are what determine win conditions. With five star or moon cards the player can start the party and end the game. At the bottom of the decoration cards is printed an arrow. This arrow points to the neighbor that will co-host and also win the game. In a three-player game Decoration cards are displayed upside down, so that is why the photo below looks a little strange.

When players have all played their hand of cards, the Trade phase may begin. Players may offer Item cards to other players and a trade may be struck by each player discarding a Trade Token from their stash. This may result in a player receiving a new card to be played. When this happens, the next phase is immediately played (after all trades have been completed). Any player who now holds an unplayed card may Play Cards (again) as before.

If a player (or players) have now collected five or more star or moon Decoration cards, they may claim victory during this Party Start? phase. Again, the Decoration cards have arrows printed to determine the co-host/co-victor in the game, and the winners may then invite the rest of the burrow to their den for the Night Sky Party! However, if no victor emerges during the Party Start? phase, then all the Villagers Go Home, and a new round begins with the Turn Start phase.


Play continues in this fashion until winners have been crowned host and co-host of the Night Sky Party in Maple Valley!
Components. This one is a bunch of cards a few cardboard chits. The cards are all fine quality, as are the chits. What is really great about these components is the art on them. I cannot think of many cuter themes than uber-nice bunnies throwing a party and sharing their victory with a neighbor. So obviously the art has to match the theme, tone, and style of the game. I believe Bunny Party knocks it out of the park here. The art is so playful and cute, and I absolutely have to give a huge shout out to Evan’s Games for the very apparent inclusivity and representation. I see you and I applaud you!

Gameplay for me is where I take just a little issue. Everything works, and once you understand the phases it does flow better, but, I can see myself really only playing this with children or in a gateway/breaking in new gamers situation. It is very light, but there are eight phases to a round! So while each phase is easy to understand and execute, each round takes a little longer because there are a few too many steps. Once my kids really know how to read well they will be playing this with me and I know right now that we will have a great time with it. I really do appreciate the special efforts that were made with regards to representation (yes, even with anthropomorphic cartoon animals) and with the design being more focused on sharing victory and being nice to neighbors. My children will certain have good habits reinforced while playing this, and that is what makes this game important.

Again, this is not the game for hardcore gamers, nor those who are interested in bigger and more complex medium-weight games. This is a quick filler at best during a game night when newer gamers are gathered. That being said, I still find a great deal of value in this one, and will be keeping it for a long time. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a 4 / 6 on stand-by. I do want to try this with different types of people (once we are able again) to see if my predictions are correct. I have only been able to play it with adult family, and none of them are medium to heavy weight game enthusiasts. If you are needing a nice game that can be played among other games for a themed game night (like Bunny Party + Bob Ross: Art of Chill + Hues and Cues + Escape: The Curse of the Temple) then this certainly fits that niche.

So my official stance, for now, is that Bunny Party has a great theme, excellent art, a wonderful message of harmony, but is both too light and too complex for what it is. I realize that sounds ridiculous. Please try it and let me know your thoughts. For now, I am keeping this close and I will be trying it with various groups with whom I game.
  
Tiny Epic Pirates
Tiny Epic Pirates
2020 | Dice Game, Exploration, Nautical, Pirates
Gamelyn Games and Scott Almes have done it again. They’ve managed to create yet another Tiny Epic game with a combo of theme and mechanics that we just couldn’t pass up. When this Kickstarter went live, we were definitely auto-backing it. Now that it’s been fulfilled and we’ve had the opportunity to play it, does it meet all of our high hopes and expectations? Is Tiny Epic Pirates a hidden treasure, or is it fool’s gold?

Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, but rather provide a general overview of the rules and gameplay. -L

Tiny Epic Pirates is a competitive game in which players take on the roles of pirate captains sailing the seas, engaging in combat, trading at various ports, and trying to bury some treasure. Played over a series of rounds, the game ends once a player has buried their 3rd treasure chest. To setup, follow the instructions as detailed in the rulebook – there are simply too many to outline here concisely. Two unique aspects of setup are that the Map cards are shuffled and randomly placed in a 4×4 grid, ensuring a variable setup for each game. The other is that each player will also randomly assign Order tokens on their Wheel (rondel), which means that no two players will have the same setup for a game. Once the Sea has been created, players have prepared their appropriate mats, a market for Booty and Crew have been setup, and tokens/Ships are placed on the map, the game is ready to begin!

Each turn is broken down into 5 steps: Captain’s Order/Deckhands, Sail, Execute Captain’s Order, Trigger Bonus Actions, and Crossing the Ship Line. The first part of every turn is to move your Captain meeple clockwise on your Wheel to select your Captain’s Order for this turn. Moving to the next adjacent space is free, but to skip spaces you must place Deckhand meeples onto the skipped spaces. In future turns, you may have Deckhands coming off the wheel, and you will assign those to other tasks during this step. The next step is to Sail your ship. Every player begins the game with a base speed of 1 Map card, and this can be enhanced throughout gameplay. During this step, you may Sail your ship across Map tiles up to your total allowed distance. After having Sailed, it is time to Execute Captain’s Order. To do this, refer back to your Wheel to see which action your Captain is on, and perform it. Possible actions are to Plunder (steal Booty from settlements), Trade (trade Booty for $ at markets), Crew Up (add up to 4 Crew members to your Ship), Search (gain a one-time benefit from un-searched Map cards), Attack (attack opposing Pirates or Merchant ships at sea), or Hide Out (rest at a Cove and reassign all Deckhands). You may only perform the action that was selected in the Captain’s Order step, regardless of if your placement on a Map card has other actions available.


Once your selected action has been performed, the next step is to Trigger Bonus Actions. Looking at your Captain and Crew cards, if their leftmost icon matches your current Captain’s Order, you may trigger the listed bonus actions. Some bonus actions allow you to perform duplicate Captain’s Orders, but others will earn you money, let you reassign Deckhands, exchange Booty at a different rate, and bury treasure. You don’t need to perform every Bonus Action listed if you so choose, but they may only be performed when their card icon matches your Captain’s Order. The very last step of your turn is to see if you have Crossed the Ship Line. Check your Wheel and see if you have moved from space 5 across the Ship Line to start another circle around the Wheel. If you did not cross the line, then your turn ends and play moves to the next Pirate. If you did cross the Ship Line, then the Merchant and Navy ships will sail a set amount of distance. Merchant ships are simply trying to deliver goods to port, and will be traversing the sea throughout the game. The Navy ship is hunting down Pirates, and will move to attack the current player any time the Ship Line is crossed. When a player has buried their third and final treasure, the round finishes as normal and the game ends. The player who buried all 3 treasures is the winner! In the case of a tie, check the rulebook. 😉
As with most of the Tiny Epic games, I will first start by saying that the size of the box may be small, but the gameplay inside is enormous. There is so much strategy in this one, I think it’s the ‘heaviest’ one in the series so far. You have so many different choices when it comes to strategy, and the gameplay will feel different every time. You could choose to take the offensive and be the aggressor, attacking any and all Ships that you can. Winning combat against Merchant Ships earns you Booty and other resources, while winning combat against opposing Pirates earns you Legend Levels. Your current Legend Level dictates how many spaces you are allowed to Sail, as well as how many dice you can roll during combat. So increasing that level results in better benefits. Maybe you just want to be an honest Pirate and do all of your trading at legal markets, avoiding contact with others and trying to skirt around combat. Maybe you want to try a little of both? The point is, you have choices, and must be able to adapt them based on your opponents’ decisions as well.

A neat element I touched on earlier about this game is the variable setup for each individual player and their Wheel. This really factors into your strategy because you have to know when to use which actions. Do you use a Deckhand to skip a space, or do you burn a turn moving for free to keep that Deckhand right where you want him? And remember, Bonus Actions are only triggered when the matching Captain’s Order is selected, so maybe you have to sacrifice acting in a turn (not being able to perform the selected Captain’s Order) in order to trigger your desired Bonus Action. It’s all about strategy, and that keeps the gameplay engaging at all times.

Just a word of warning though, there is a bit of a learning curve, as there are so many steps and items to consider each turn. Thus the gameplay felt pretty daunting and slow-going my first few plays. But as I became more comfortable with the turn structure and the iconography, it became easier to know what comes next. Another thing to consider is player count. Playing Tiny Epic Pirates at 2 players didn’t really feel that immersive or engaging. With only 2 players on a 4×4 grid, it can be easy to completely avoid each other and skirt around, essentially playing by yourself in a way. With 3 and 4 players, there are more Ships on the map and more opportunities for player interactions and engagement. So it all comes down to what kind of gameplay you want, when selecting your player count.


Components. Again, so far all the Tiny Epic games have had awesome production quality and Tiny Epic Pirates is no exception. The artwork is bright and colorful, the cards and cardboard tokens are sturdy, the meeples are cute, and the actual ships are fun to play with. My only qualms are that two of the player colors – black and blue – are visually similar so in setup it can be tricky to tell them apart. Another qualm is that two of the Booty types (teehee) are a tan and gray color, and the iconography for both on the Map cards are similarly colored. The first few plays I found myself trading the wrong Booty at market because I didn’t check the icon closely enough. These are not game-breakers by any means, but just a heads up so you’re paying attention! As this was a Kickstarter, I did opt for the add-on Pirate Skull dice, and have to honestly say that I prefer the regular game dice better. The ‘knots’ on the corners of the skull dice stop them from continuing to roll, so I felt like I wasn’t really getting a real roll on them. Maybe that’s just my personal opinion, but the regular ol’ game dice are perfectly fine.
How does Tiny Epic Pirates fare in the lineup of the Tiny Epic games? Fairly well, I would say. It’s not one that I would pull out to play with just anybody, as it is a bit of a heavier game, but it is one that I know I would enjoy with my game group. There are a lot of neat elements and mechanics at play here that really work well together and make for an engaging and kind of brain-burning (in a way) game. Although Tiny Epic Pirates might not get as much playtime for me as others in the series, it’s a good one to have and it really embodies the tiny (small box, check) and epic (sweet and strategic gameplay) parts of the title. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a seaworthy 4 / 6.
  
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Another film ruined by Endgame's splendour
Contains spoilers, click to show
The Rise of Skywalker

Some endings are welcomed whilst others are heart-breaking and sudden, then there is this movie that closes a curtain that’s older than my very bones. In the time from 1977 there has been highs, lows and Jar Jar Binks a plenty and lots and lots of toys, lunchboxes and soap sets in all shapes of droids. The film itself opens and quickly reintroduces all the main characters and sets up the plot lines for each person and they embark on a path that is destined for them all to meet later. Kylo Ren is on a solo Gooniesesque mission to retrieve something darker than One Eyed Willies rich stuff with the aid of a Toblerone shaped virtual map. Helmetless and emotionless he encounters the Emperor you in fact is not dead but just chilling out with many engineers, Sith corpses and a big evil throne that he may use to do dark side Sudoku. Kylo Ren must kill Rey and then he and Palpatine might both crack a smile and take turns on the evil throne as all powerful rulers.
Is it a bird? Is it plane? Well its half bird in name alone it’s the Millennium Falcon doing what it does best and being chased and escaping for the numerous time but this time they are light speed jumping even though they are told not to, naughty naughty. Po and Finn get some gossip and head to the planet the Rebels are all hiding on to share their news. Enter the heroine its Rey in a new outfit and floating up high but failing to entice the Jedi spirits to appear but why would they this early on in a film. The hero’s all use the gossip from the Empire spy and Rey, Finn, Poe, Chewbacca, BB-8, and C-3PO depart in the Millennium Falcon. Space trip!!!
They head for a Space desert that is like Mardi Gras with sand, it’s so lucky that these sandy terrains are common in space like they are common on Earth as Star Wars loves these arid landscapes. They get into a scrape as they always seem to do but with Stormtroopers being inept and despite being airborne, they now fail on both land and air to do anything other than being a source for explosions. C3-PO finally gets the chance to be of actual use but in his golden and splendid way he is unable to translate a Sith message orally and it remains unheard and unseen in his memory banks. Kylo Ren mentally Skype calls Rey and she forgets to turn off her location settings and he turns up. In the ensuing melee Rey turns up the bad ass levels and destroys an Empire ship containing the Wookie we all fell in love with Chewbacca. In a big fiery furball of fire he is gone, Rey is beside herself with regret and they all escape on board Not the Millennium Falcon. Another planet another mission to add to the collection sees the group hoping to find a brain surgeon to extract the Sith message from C3-PO. On planet Jim Henson we see a large collection of weird and wonderful puppets and cosplay experts. The downside of the brain surgery is it will format C3-PO to the factory settings so he can learn to be annoying to everyone all over again. A little shaved Mogwai turns out to be the master surgeon and he completes the job easily enough and they retrieve the message, but the worst fears are realised as C3-PO remembers no one.
From the furry flames Chewbacca, we find out is not dead but merely being pampered in the Empires many hair and nail bars. Sensing this fashion disaster waiting to happen Rey organises a rescue mission and they break into the Star Destroyer with relative ease until Poe, Finn are caught and assigned to death. Rey is on her own mission and breaks into Kylo Ren’s bachelor pad and has a look around and gets the Sith dagger and another Skype call from Kylo Ren is taken where he tells her some missing parts of her childhood and about her true lineage as a pesky Palpatine. The age-old Star Wars family is not who you think it is trope is wheeled out once more. Learning from her previous failures of her location services she refuses to tell Kylo but when the melted helmet of the original absent father Darth Vader falls at Kylo’s feet he knows she is in his room. Enraged in case he left any interspace porn lying around his room he quickly makes a run for his awesome ship.

With certain execution facing Poe, Finn and the now unlucky Chewie and the blasters set to wipe them out General Hux turns Rouge One and saves the heroes at the last second. With his turncoat and spy status ensured he shows his true childish colours and he wants Kylo Ren to lose because he has longer and hair on the darker side of black (maybe). Before allowing them to escape he asked for a blaster wound to give his story of them overpowering the guards some weight, surely a fool proof plan with your boss being able to mind read. He takes a blaster to the knee before hobbling to explain himself before being shot as the traitorous Rebel scum he is. If only he had lived long enough, he may have seen his wish come true. They well-travelled hero’s travel to space Astoria for another Goonies part of the quest where they see the remnants of the second Death Star and use the dagger doubloon to perfectly line up where the way finder is located. A big source of luck as the waves that engulf the planet and are crashing all around the wreck of the Deathstar have avoided any damage over the years. It’s deemed impossible to traverse the giant waves until morning but when Rey sees her opportunity she sails over the waves with relative ease while the rest of the heroes are chatting to a local about zero hour Strom trooper contracts and a lack of a good sickness benefit policy. As Rey makes it to the wreckage, she is met with Kylo Ren and they have a lightsaber battle after he smashes the way finder and asks her to join him in getting rid of Papa Palpatine and being the Sith power couple. Kylo seems to be building up the anger in Rey and trying to temp her to give in to her rage. Some great action shots and some force leaps make this a memorable fight scene until Leia ‘force times’ Kylo distracting him enough for Rey to become the victor. This is the last stand for Leia as she gives up the ghost and therefore becomes one of those ghost Jedi figures. With a sudden change of heart and with the wound barely open Rey uses her force healing abilities to fill Kylo’s hole right up before stealing his ship and leaving him stranded on Goonieland. With all this free time Kylo throws away his lightsaber and becomes Ben Solo once more and squeezes in a catch up with his old dad Han in dreamworld or memoryland.
Rey is now on a mission to destroy the Sith and the Emperor on the hidden planet now she has the map but only after setting Kylo’s sweet spaceship on fire and then realising her error. This impulsive nature may be leading to the dark side!! She heads to Exegol the Sith planet just as Palpatine is setting his sights on getting on with ending the Rebellion once and for all. If a job is worth doing its worth doing it yourself and orders the destruction of planet by a weapon that’s on each Star Destroyer. When Rey catches up with the Emperor, he is happy to see her and he invites her to strike him down, probably to become more powerful than we can imagine. Rey leaves a trail of cosmic breadcrumbs and she is followed by the resistance and they have a plan to take on the Final Order by destroying a central communication tower, so again a rather simple way to stop some heavy duty weaponry; the old classics are the best!!! It becomes a bit Star Wars of the Rings with space horses appearing and galloping to the rescue, not since the ill-fated days of the Phantom Menace has wildlife shocked me in such a manner. Back to the will she, won’t she, Rey and the Emperor are still wanting different things and Palpatine has invited the ghosts of Sith past to witness his greatest triumph. Rey has a choice of lightsaber’s due to Leia giving her an extra, maybe there was a reason for this!! Oh, wait Ben Solo has arrived lightsaberless what a stroke of luck!! Palpatine has had enough and he decides to drain both the Jedi’s of their life force and levels ups and gets back to rage mode and gets his lightning on. He dispatches Ben and then takes out the full resistance fleet with an impressive lightning show. Rey in her weakened state finally perfects the connection with the Jedi spirits that she failed at early in the film. Armed with the x-factor of crossed lightsabers she pushes the Emperor back and turns his own electricity and his face is melted off Raiders of the Lost Ark style. Ben then comes back into the mix and repays the force healing from earlier and gives Rey the gift of life followed by a kiss. This is a kiss of death literally and he fades away into nothingness. In scenes not seen since the Avengers help arrives when all hope is gone, and the fight is won by the good guys again.

I felt that this film was too fast paced and had too many storylines that were quickly explored and this was at a detriment to what could have been. Maybe on repeat viewing there will be the chance to slow down and explore the potential of the film. Some scenes were for the older generation and some were for the newbies to the galaxy far, far away and this again was at a cost to the whole experience. This all being said the watch was enjoyable and had its genuine emotional moments and humour was used to break the tension at times with C3-PO having a few choice lines for once.
  
Half Blood: The Complete Collection: Books 1-5
Half Blood: The Complete Collection: Books 1-5
Lauren Dawes | 2020 | Paranormal, Romance
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Thank you, Ms Dawes, for writing these books, I've thoroughly enjoyed delving into this world.
Independent reviewer for Archaeolibrarian, I was gifted all these books.


Book1, Half Blood
I enjoyed this, a lot. I didn't love for a couple of reasons.

CLIFFHANGER! It finishes on a cliffhanger, and if I KNOW is finishes as such, I'm usually ok, but I did NOT see this one coming at and I was somewhat annoyed about that!

I'm still not entirely sure whats going on, what the bigger picture is. It might just be me, but my brain didn't put everything together yet, and I was somewhat annoyed by that, too. I am certain that it will all become clear in the next few books, though! (or at least I hope so!)

There is some scene setting, for multiple characters who are side players. For a long while I wasn't sure why they even had a say, but all does become clear why they are there. Eventually. It took far too long for me though, to love that fact. I like hearing from everyone, I really do, but this reminded me a little of several series that take a long way round to get across the road.

I liked Indigo. She is a force of nature and when she fully becomes aware of what she is and what she can do, she will be invincible. Rhett, too, isn't fully aware of himself, I don't think yet. Some secrets he hasn't told us, and some I don't think have been revealed to him either.

I liked the twists to usual vampire/werewolf lore. Some major twists thrown up there!

I have to wait now, to get ahold of book 2. If you are reading this review, I recommend you wait til you at least have book 2 to hand, so you don't throw the hissy fit I did when I ran out of book!

Because of the cliff hanger and because of the not seeing the bigger picture (yet) . . .


4 stars



Book 2, Half Truths

This is book 2 in the Helheim Wolf Pak=ck series, and you really MUST read book one, HAlf Blood, first. This is a continuous story line and not everything is recapped.

And again, I really ENJOYED this, but I didn't quite love, and it's mostly ME that is the reason, not the book. (I think!)

I still cannot see the bigger picture, I really can't! It's driving me nuts that I can't even make one up, as I am prone to do, and I can't see where this is all going. AT. ALL!

Vaile is the focus of this book, and his new, human, FEMALE poilce partner. Dealing with the murders at the nightclub brings many questions for Larissa, and Vaile is hiding something. Something big. It's pissing her off and she will get to the bottom of it! Rhett and Indi's relationship begins to move at a much faster pace, especially once they sort out her food problem. I'm not sure I like the final solution, and I think Rhett might struggle with it too.

The search for Alpha's mate intensifies, throwing up some major spanners in the works, some twists I really didn't see coming.

It's dark and deadly. Bloody and emotional. Sexy and sweet. The violence is graphic and the sex explicit, and I loved that they were!

Lots of people again have a say, and I was ready for that this time, so I really enjoyed the stage setting in this book.

And another bloody (quite LITERALLY!) cliffhanger! *throws toys out the pram and spits dummy out*

Creeping up to 4.5 stars though!

Book 3, Half Life

This is book 3 in the Helheim Wolf Pack series, and I STRONGLY recommend you read book one, Half Blood and two, Half Truths before you read this one. There is an underlaying story line that isn't fully recapped here.

Sabel, The Butcher of the Helheim pack, needs to find who killed a pack member. A non-pack female wolf wasn't supposed in the woods. When Sabel finds out who Ivy is, and what her visit means to her, he helps. But Ivy's past follows her, and there is something killing not just Helheim wolves, but other packs, and shifters, are suffering too.

So!

Now I have an idea of who/what is causing all this mayhem that the Helheim pack is suffering from, the picture is becoming clearer and so I'm starting to enjoy this series a little bit more!

Everyone gets a say again, Sabel and Ivy mostly, but many others too. This book also sets the scene for book four, so pay attention!

Sabel and Ivy are explosive together. They butt heads, right from the start and it's a great deal of fun watching them fall hard, and fall HARD for each other. Ivy brings some tension to Sabel's life and it is also fun watching him deal with that.

There is the amount of violence that is in the other books, but it really is needed more so here, I think. Sabel has a particular skill set and he puts it to use here. It is graphic, and dark and deadly. It's heartbreaking in places too, as the pack deals with not only the loss from the previous book, but a shocking, more painful one here.

I loved how things are starting to make (some) sense, and the picture is becoming clearer. Where it's going, though?? No bloody idea and I LOVED that!

Hit the top marks with this one, please keep it up!

5 full stars

Book 4, Half Cast

This is book 4 in the Helheim Wolf Pack Tale, and you really SHOULD read all three previous books before this one. There is MUCH that is referenced, but not fully covered here from those books. MUCH. So, don't say I didn't warn you!

We met both Alex and Saskia in book 3, and they met too. They fell in love over a single kiss and now Saskia is mated to another, and Alex is now Bitten.

So, in my review for the third book, I said things were beginning to make sense, and I could kinda see where this was all going. You read that, right? I said it?? Well, now? I lost it all again! I still got an inkling, but I've lost something in the couple of months since I read book three, I really did and I didn't pick it back up here, not fully.

To that end, I didn't enjoy this as much as book 3.

However, I don't think that me losing whatever I did is the full reason. There is more, and it revolves around what Alex and Saskia did, to Ezekiel, in their home. They both felt guilty about that, and well they should but it didn't sit well with me! I would like to see Ezekiel happy in a later book, he needs some happiness now.

Saxon (Saskia's brother) meets HIS mate, but this book ends on a cliffhanger about that. Brax is smitten by someone he meets but not sure where thats going.

As usual, everyone important has a say. And you really do need that here, more so than in the other books.

Like I said, I lost something, and didn't quite get it back and whatever it is, I missed it!

Books one and two got 4 and 4.5 stars respectively. Book 3 is by far my favourite of them all so far and got 5 stars. We've slipped a bit here, and so....

4 solid stars


Book 5, Half Bound.

This is book 5 in the Helheim Wolf Pack series, the last book and you do NEED to have read the other books before this one. This one pulls everything together but not everything important is recapped.

I found this one a much darker read than the others. The others are graphic and explicit but I thought this one was so much MORE. The violence Vivian expends to get what she wants is described in great detail, what she does and what she has others do. This is the only reason I gave it. . .oh . . no. . .wait, there is ANOTHER reason. Let me try that again! This is ONE of the reasons I gave it 4 stars. Oh but she does get her comeuppance, she really does!

Saxon is captured and Casey allows herself to be taken, on the condition Saxon is freed. Yeah, right, we did not see that one being double-crossed by Vivian! Vivian breaks Casey, she really does, physically and emotionally. It's painful reading, not just the physical stuff, but when Casey comes to terms with what Vivian does to her, what it means for her future, what it means she can never be. And then. . .not yet. . .I'll say soon.

Across the other side of the story, Brax, who left Rhett a while ago because he was addicted to Indi's bite, has to fetch a new pack member who affects him, and his wolf, deeply. But Andrea is damaged, both inside and out, and she doesn't think anyone will want her now her abusive ex has marked her as he did. Besides, all men are gonna hurt her, so she steers clear. When said ex gets too close, Brax and Drae bond, and when they do? Oh it's so beautiful, their bonding, it really is. Said ex also gets his comeuppance, but not quite how I thought he would!

Back to what Vivian does to break Casey emotionally. This is the other reason I gave it 4 stars. Casey loves Saxon and he loves her. But they never really got to tell each other that. After Casey gets free, I'm not surprised she has the thoughts she does. And then there was that "Besides. . . ." when Vivian was gloating! So now my mind is racing and I want answers! At least I know the questions this time!

A very fitting end, and one that spawns another series about Casey and her brothers. I hope to get my hands on them too.

Thank you, Ms Dawes, for writing these books, I've thoroughly enjoyed delving into this world.

4 stars

**same worded review will appear elsewhere, on individual listing**
  
Godzilla (2014)
Godzilla (2014)
2014 | Mystery, Sci-Fi
Godzilla's gigantic scale is impressive. (1 more)
Bryan Cranston gives a terrific performance.
Aaron Taylor-Johnson is a horribly lifeless protagonist. (2 more)
The film repeatedly obscures our chances to see Godzilla or cuts away from him completely.
There seems to be very little sense of panic or concern despite Godzilla and MUTO's destruction.
As promising as this new Godzilla movie may appear to be, it falls far short of expectations, and dare I say, it isn’t even much better than the 1998 version.
This year marks the 60th anniversary of the original Godzilla film, when the King of the Monsters first emerged from the Pacific and terrorized Tokyo, Japan. Roughly 10 years after America dropped two atomic bombs on Japan to end World War II, Godzilla was artistically created to be a physical, living representation of the destructive force of those bombs. Even the texture of his skin is modelled after keloid scars, which were found on survivors as a result of the radiation. Godzilla’s arrival and subsequent attacks were spurred by the use of nuclear weapons, and he as a character wholly embodies the consequences of nuclear warfare.

60 years later, Godzilla remains a global icon, having spawned dozens of movie sequels, while introducing several other enormous monsters to battle with. Then 16 years ago, he was reimagined as he first came to America in Roland Emmerich’s lackluster 1998 film Godzilla, leaving many fans severely disappointed with not only the film, but also the new rendition of the famous monster. While Godzilla is visually depicted much more accurately in Gareth Edward’s new 2014 Godzilla than he was in ’98, his entire presence is surprisingly different than usual. This isn’t the angry, vengeful Godzilla of the past. He actually now seems almost entirely indifferent to humans. Unfortunately, as promising as this new Godzilla movie may appear to be, it falls far short of expectations, and dare I say, it isn’t even much better than the 1998 Godzilla.

Godzilla (2014) starts off pretty well, strengthened by the performance of Bryan Cranston, who plays Joe Brody, a nuclear power plant engineer living in Japan. Brody is present when an unknown disaster occurs at the plant, costing many innocent lives. Despite what the trailers suggest, Cranston’s Brody is not the main character of the film. Nor is it fellow all-star actor Ken Watanabe. The main character is actually only seen for about 4 seconds of the film’s original 2 and a half minute trailer. It’s Joe Brody’s son, Ford, played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson, in a performance that is decent but far from engaging. The protagonist Ford Brody is a character that is largely uninteresting, and who just casually wants to get back to his family after the monster invasion. He fails to convey any genuine sense of urgency amidst the chaos, although the same can be said for the entire cast, with the exception of Cranston’s Brody. Cranston’s performance is the only one that has any emotional weight to it, but he can’t carry the film alone. Meanwhile, Ken Watanabe is essentially reduced to being the quiet, ever-present voice of reason that no one wants to listen to. The film has a solid cast of actors, but they’re not given enough to work with in this convoluted mess of a movie.

For a movie that has so much death and destruction, the people in the film never seem all that concerned. You get no sense of global panic and hysteria. You have a 300-foot-tall monster destroying cities, with millions of people dying, and yet nobody seems all that freaked out by it. It’s almost like the situation isn’t treated as a serious threat, and there’s a major lack of suspense altogether. There’s rarely any edge-of-your-seat terror or excitement, and the lack of emotion just makes the action come off as sort of flat and dull. Not only that, the majority of the destruction that’s taking place isn’t even seen, with the movie instead opting to show you the aftermath. Throughout the first two-thirds of the movie, the camera continuously cuts away from the action you’ve been waiting for. Rather than showing you what you want to see in full-glory, the movie frequently will take you to a different location where you’ll briefly see a few seconds of the catastrophe being watched by someone on television. It feels like a cheap trick to build up to some amazing climax, but it’s incredibly frustrating. It’s like when watching a reality TV show and then the show cuts to a commercial break before revealing the winner. Perhaps it would be more forgivable if the end was enjoyable, but even though it does give you a full display of the showdown, it’s bogged down by a tiresome human story and still lacks any real emotional punch. Despite the fact that the movie tries to convey a serious tone, it’s also incredibly cheesy. To the extent that the big finale that this movie has been trying so hard to build up to ends up being almost laughable. Ultimately the movie ends up just being unsatisfying, disappointing, and overly long.

There are a lot of ways in which Godzilla goes wrong, despite the film’s great potential. One of my issues is with the musical score, which ends up coming off like a bad punchline. Music is supposed to accentuate the action and drama of a film, yet the film feels emotionless and boring. The only time the music really stood out to me was when it was being used to heighten the suspense of the climactic battle, and essentially narrate who was winning. It was done so ineffectively that it was both kind of comical and embarrassing. I also have an issue with all of the special effects, which are being touted as absolutely amazing. They’re not. However, I will say that the use of special effects in the movie is quite ambitious, but it works to the film’s detriment. There’s simply too much of them, and this excessive nature of the film is, I think, its biggest mistake. Godzilla (2014) is ridiculously CGI-heavy, and while their scope is admirable, I really think the quality would have been substantially improved if they didn’t overdo it so much. I think a less-is-more approach would have benefited the film in many ways. It’s excessive to the point of making good things turn bad. Everything is way too over the top, causing the action to lose its impact. It’s evident the filmmakers were trying so hard to make this big-budget movie as epic as possible, but this enormous scale ends up backfiring. The rampage covers two continents, multiple cities, and even traverses the length of the Pacific Ocean. I can appreciate their attempt, but the movie is trying to do too much. In other words, Godzilla (2014) bites off more than it can chew.

I also have some problems with the film’s treatment of the titular character, Godzilla. First of all, for a movie named after him, he sure doesn’t appear much in it. He’s the reason why we want to see the movie, but he’s absent for the majority of the film. Even when he’s around, he’s largely obscured by CGI smoke and storm clouds, up until the final moments of the movie. I’m also not particularly fond of his appearance. He just doesn’t quite look like Godzilla to me. It’s like looking at a T-Rex head on Godzilla’s body. I’m aware that Godzilla’s facial appearance has changed many times over 60 years, but something just doesn’t look quite right here. Additionally, I feel that Godzilla’s face is actually too expressive in this new film. I wonder if this was done to cause viewers to feel more sympathetic to him, because in the film, Godzilla is actually depicted as something of a tragic hero, rather than a colossal beast. This is my biggest concern with the movie’s handling of his character. Godzilla’s destruction in the film is treated like it’s all unintentional, and just a result of his massive size. Even though humans attack him, he’s not angry about it or anything. Never mind the movie’s claim that all of America’s nuclear bomb tests after Hiroshima and Nagasaki were actually secretive but unsuccessful attempts to kill Godzilla. He doesn’t mind. He’s just a poor gentle giant that’s misunderstood. Really, Hollywood? Give me a break!

To say that Godzilla (2014) is almost as bad of a film as Godzilla (1998) is a statement that I don’t take lightly. It’s a bold and controversial thing to say, and it may seem a bit absurd considering that this film goes in the right direction, whereas the previous film was all wrong from the beginning. Yet while the new movie has all the right pieces for greatness, it extends its reach too far and attempts to do too much, while never managing to make any of it very good. In all seriousness, I was more entertained with the ’98 film than I was with this one. I can hardly comprehend how a movie with a giant 300-foot-tall monster destroying cities can be so boring. Godzilla (2014) focuses so much on trying to build up to an epic conclusion that it forgets to worry about making the audience care, or even about keeping them entertained, and it just gets worse as it goes on. It repeatedly tries to raise the stakes, as well as our expectations, while attempting to delay gratification until the end. It’s a risky move, and unsurprisingly, it certainly doesn’t pay off. On the bright side, Godzilla (2014) is probably a pretty sweet movie if you’re a 12-year-old. There’s plenty of action, some cool special effects, and he’s still a pretty awesome monster. However, for me, I was totally pumped up for this movie, but an hour and a half into it, I had endured enough and wanted to walk out. Godzilla (2014) disappointed me on so many levels. It’s a movie without a beating heart. It’s predictable, overly long, has uninspired characters and a weak story, and the action just never hits the right note. A little more emotion and a little less CGI could have a gone a long way in making this movie better. As a fan of Godzilla, I felt frustrated, detached, and perplexed with how they were able to do so much wrong when they had the groundwork for something great. You know, perhaps I’m wrong in claiming it’s comparably bad as Godzilla (1998). After all, the last time I saw that movie was in the theaters when I was 12.

(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 5.17.14.)
  
If I Stay (2014)
If I Stay (2014)
2014 | Drama
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. That’s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that she’s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, she’s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether it’s really even worth it to endure life’s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.

Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.

Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.

First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.

Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.


If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.

(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)
  
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Dana (24 KP) rated Crooked Kingdom in Books

Mar 23, 2018  
Crooked Kingdom
Crooked Kingdom
Leigh Bardugo | 2016 | Science Fiction/Fantasy, Young Adult (YA)
10
9.1 (22 Ratings)
Book Rating
This post will 100% be full of spoilers for both the first book and this book, so if you have not read either, please leave the post now, because you need to read this series. The review will be here when you get back, I promise.

Can I just say that Leigh Bardugo is a phenomenal writer? I just want to put that out there first, so we can move on to some more interesting stuff, but damn. That woman is a genius when it comes to the written word! Her plot lines are almost always amazing and her characters are just, wow!

Okay, so let's start off with the overall plot arc. As much as I hated the beginning because Inej wasn't with the crew, it was so cool to get the other characters working together to try to help save her. I do enjoy the fact that saving her wasn't the biggest aspect of the plot. If it was, I don't think it would have been as convincing of a story. Then we move on to revenge as the rest of the plot. I just want to say that I freaking love revenge plots. They give purpose to everything that each character does, and just moves the story along well!

The fact that we weren't just tied to this book was great too! I loved how we got characters from the Grisha Trilogy in here. I was hoping that we would get more than just the mention that was given to us in the last book, but we got Genya, Zora and freaking Nikolai! They were amazing and brought more depth to the story that we may not have gotten without them.

I loved how Kaz was able to plan out every step in detail, assuming what people would do next. He is a master at his craft, I will tell you that.

Okay, so now onto some character studies:

I am going to start out with Nina. That girl has been through so much already, and it never fully gets better for her. From having to deal with the side effects of the withdrawls from Jurda Parem, having her best friend kidnapped, to having to find out her powers have been altered, to having the love of her life ripped from her, she does not have a good time in this book! I just wanted to wrap her up in a coat and feed her waffles, but she doesn't even really get those either! I just hope that she is able to find peace in Ravka with her fellow Grisha.

Now onto Matthias. He was honestly one of my favorite characters. The way he would try not to like or agree with the Dregs' way of doing things was just so hilarious and when he would try to fend off Nina's advances, I would actually cackle. He was the signal of change in the book. The proof that things could get better, but even that failed him. In his attempt to share the light of truth onto another Druskelle, he was inevitably killed for his beliefs. At least he finally got to kiss Nina, even if it was one of his final acts.

Now we are moving on to Jeseper. We got to meet his dad! Woo!! That was a really interesting relationship and backstory. I really like how sassy he is at all times, even if his sarcasm gets him in to trouble more times than not. Also, I love how he is a great shot because of his innate Grisha abilities. That was freaking amazing and I am so damn happy about it. I also love how smitten he is with Wylan. Like, for Christ's sake he calls him Wy when he starts crying. They are each others' rocks in the seas of shit that they cling to for dear life.

It's Wylan's turn! I hated how he wasn't fully himself for most of the book, but mostly I hated how inadequate he made himself feel. He is a genius and he shouldn't think anything less of himself. His relationship with his mother (who ISN'T dead?!?!?!?) is so sweet. But his brutality and unforgiving nature that shows up throughout the book was kind of a shock. He had been so mousy and quiet in the first book, but boy did that boy spit fire once he found out his father's assholishness. His back story is so tragic, like his father tried to straight up have him murdered when he thought he was just going off to a school that could actually make him happy. Jan Van Ick (lol) deserved every bit of punishment he got. I am glad he got what he wanted out of life. I also am in love with how he and Jesper first met.

Kuwei's got to get a little paragraph too. He is kind of annoying. I decided I didn't overly like him when he tricked Jesper into kissing him. Like, I totally understand, Jes is amazing, but he is TAKEN by my favorite ginger. Step back! I do, however, hope he is successful in finding a cure for Parem and making sure it does not get into the wrong hands.

Off to my boy Kaz. He makes himself out to be this stone cold guy with no feelings, but we all know how much of a lie that is. Holy hell, that boy is smitten with Inej. He takes every precaution he possibly can with her, much to her chagrin, but he just wants her safe. I was constantly yelling at my book, and therefore at him, to just take a chance! Tell Inej how you feel and why you are the way you are, but he wouldn't!!! It was so frustrating! But then, that moment when he is changing her bandages was so freaking tense. Like, they didn't even do anything, but damn, the tension in that room could have hurt someone. And then, at the end when he got her the boat AND found her parents, I almost died. I was so freaking happy he finally did something with his feelings, even if he didn't fully tell her, I think she got the hint. He even got the Menagerie to be shut down and burned, if that doesn't scream romance (from him), I don't know what does! And him getting the Dregs back was such a cool power move! He got every bit of revenge he wanted, including scaring the shit out of Pekka Rollins. So freaking good! Brick by brick bitches!

And finally, it's time for my favorite: Inej. Just like Nina, she has been through too much shit for her being such a youngin'. I am so glad she is okay and that she got her family (all of her family, including the Dregs) back in her life! She has a boat and she gets to go stop human trafficking (something that is really important and actually needs to be done in real life! Go to GAATW.org to find more information on how to stop this human rights violation). I think Inej is so strong in everything she does, but she still has those moments of doubt. When she goes against her "shadow" as she calls her, there are hesitations. She is only able to succeed when she gives in to all of her, both the Wraith and the Acrobat. That is something I think is really striking about her as a character. She isn't just one thing, she compartmentalizes herself, but once she comes together as a whole person, she is better for it. I think Leigh did a great job making Inej into someone to emulate toward (you know, minus the killing thing).

I'm going to write some of my favorite quotes out here, so bear with me for a bit:

"You are forsaken. As you have turned your back on me, so will they turn their backs on you." Inej, 64

"People point guns at each other all the time in Ketterdam. It's basically a handshake." Jesper, 79.

"Vile, ruthless, amoral. Isn't that why you hired Kaz in the first place? Becouse he does the things that no one else dares? Go on, Van Eck. Break my legs and see what happens. Dare him." Inej, 104

"When you were outgunned and out manned, you sought the less defended targets." Matthais, 107

"I would come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together--knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting." Kaz, 185

"Because through it all, he'd believed that he deserved his father's contempt, and now he could admit that somewhere, in some buried place, he'd hoped there might still be a way back to his father's good favor. Well, his father could keep that good favor and see what it brought him when Kaz Brekker was finished." Wylan, 223

"You aren't a flower, you're every blossom in the world blooming at once. You are a tidal wave. You're a stampede. You are overwhelming." Matthias, 233

"When Inej was on the high wire, it became her world. She could feel its tilt and pull. It was a planet and she was its moon. There was a simplicity to it that she never felt on the swings, where she was carried away by momentum. She loved the stillness she could find on the wire, and it was something no one else understood." Inej, 272

"After all she'd endured, he was the weak one. But she would never know what it was like for him to see Nina pull her close, watch Jesper loop his arm though hers, what it was to stand in doorways and against walls and know he could never draw nearer." Kaz, 364

"Wylan summoned every bit of bravado he'd learned from Nina, the will he's learned from Matthias, the focus he'd studied in Kax, the courage he'd learned from Inej, and the wild, reckless hope he learned from Jesper, the belief that no matter the odds, somehow they would win." Wylan, 427

"But just as surely as life connected everything, so did death. It was that endless, fast-running river. She'd dipped her fingers into its current, held the eddy of its power n her hand. She was the Queen of Mourning, and in its depths, she would never drown." Nina, 455

"But what about the rest of us? What about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary. That was how you survived when you weren't chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway." Inej, 460

Overall, I freaking loved this series. I am so sad to see it go, but I was glad to be a part of it. Leigh, if you read this (which I doubt you will, but whatever) I want to thank you for your phenomenal writing in this world and I cannot wait to see what you do next!