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The Haunted Mansion (2003)
The Haunted Mansion (2003)
2003 | Comedy, Horror, Family
7
6.4 (19 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Welcome Foolish Mortals to the latest adaptation of the popular Disney attraction as Haunted Mansion has materialized for audiences to enjoy.

This time around the film follows a single mother named Gabbie (RosarioDawson), and her son Travis (Chase W. Dillon).

The family has moved into an abandoned mansion near New Orleans as they look to start over but find that their new abode is haunted.
Despite their best efforts to flee, the ghosts force them to return to the
mansion and they seek help in the form of a Priest named Father Kent (Owen Wilson), and Ben Matthias (LaKeith Stanfield) who has been reduced to doing Ghost Tours following a personal tragedy that saw his lofty skills and career vanish in the aftermath.

When the help finds themselves able to leave the mansion without an
otherworldly escort, they bring in a Medium named Harriet (Tiffany
Haddish) and in time the mysterious Madame Leota (Jamie Lee Curtis).
It is learned that a dangerous ghost is striking fear into the other 999
haunts that inhabit the locale and should he collect his 1000th soul, he
will unleash a new level of terror on the world.

Things become even more complicated with a local professor named Bruce (Danny DeVito) arrives and creates a new Wild Card to the situation.

The movie does a great job of capturing the look and tone of the
attraction as one of the great joys was seeing things ranging from the
pictures to stretching room and other factors big and small from the
attraction portrayed on the big screen.

The cast is great and works well with one another but the movie does take
some time getting ramped up and I did find it dragging in various places.
The audience laughed frequently but for me many of the jokes did not work which I attributed to the focus being on a a younger audience as I found them more amusing than funny.

The FX in the film are solid and Jared Leto’s character is so well done
you cannot recognize him as he has disappeared so deeply into the
character aided by some great visual work.

As a big fan of the attraction it was nice to see a much better take on
the source material than previous efforts.

In the end despite the flaws, there is enough happy nostalgia to keep fans
entertained and hopefully the audience will want to visit the mansion enough that a new franchise is on the way.

3 stars out of 5
  
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Andrew Koltuniuk (767 KP) Aug 2, 2023

Wrong one my friend. This is the page for the 2003 Eddie Murphy film.

Last Woman Standing
Last Woman Standing
Amy Gentry | 2019 | Mystery, Thriller
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Crazy but exciting read
Dana Diaz is an aspiring comedian trying to make it in Austin, TX--with the ultimate goal of making it back to L.A. someday. She once lived there with her best friend, Jason, but left in a bit of disgrace. While performing in L.A., she meets Amanda Dorn, a computer programmer who applauds during her set and catches Dana's eye. The two bond over being women in a man's world and soon learn that both have had similar struggles with harassment. But then Amanda proposes a plan: they'll each seek revenge on a man that has harmed the other. Dana quickly finds herself pulled into Amanda's revenge schemes. She also finds herself unable to trust anyone--even her friends.

I really loved Amy Gentry's GOOD AS GONE, so I was so excited to read this one. It didn't appeal to me as much as GOOD, but I enjoyed pieces of it. This was a weird but also interesting book that certainly capitalized on the momentum of the #metoo movement and did a good job of highlighting the aftermath of sexual assault and violence against women.

Dana is an intriguing character; I liked that she was a comedian, because that's not a character you usually see in books! She's also a minority and a fairly strong female--all pluses. No one expects her to be a comic or funny. It's also heartbreaking and eye-opening to see how much she's been through: as we learn about her experiences, we see how often she's had to endure sexual harassment, sexual violence, assault, and more during her career and life.

"It was true that my appearance--short and brownskinned and shaped like my mother minus the control-top pantyhouse--did not prepare most people for my extracurricular activities."

Even worse, so many of the women in the book seem to take this behavior as par for the course. To get ahead, they must endure being harassed, or they see this sexual assault as part of life. For instance, maybe it's just part of the acting business, Dana rationalizes.

"Maybe I really was the only one who couldn't take the joke."

The plot of this book was a little complicated for me; it seemed to struggle to find itself between fiction (a struggling comic attempting to find herself) and thriller (revenge scheme gone horribly wrong). For me, it really took off when it became more of a thriller. There were lots of twists and turns, most of which were quite surprising. Some of them were bizarre. Amanda and Dana's plans are a little crazy and things sort of spiral from there.

Still, I liked Dana overall, even if she made some questionable decisions. I appreciated how her character highlighted the plight of violence of women. As the book went on, it became more exciting and interesting, even some parts were a little crazy.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher and Netgalley in return for an unbiased review.
  
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The Husband's Secret
The Husband's Secret
Liane Moriarty | 2013 | Fiction & Poetry
6
7.7 (31 Ratings)
Book Rating
The Husband's Secret focuses on three main characters. Cecelia Fitzpatrick, married to John-Paul with three beautiful daughters. Tess O'Leary who owns a business with her husband, Will and cousin, Felicity and has a son, Liam. And Rachel Crowley, who is still mourning the death of her daughter nearly 30 years after the fact. How do these women's lives intersect, well....Cecelia finds a letter from her husband, not to be opened until his death...she opens it anyway. Tess finds out that her husband and cousin(yes her business partners) have fallen in love with each other. So she takes her son and heads to Sydney and enrolls him in the school which, Rachel Crowley is the secretary and Cecelia is the mother all other mothers love and hate.

The news Cecelia finds in the letter, the thoughts Rachel has about her daughters killer, and the actions Tess take after leaving her husband would make for one exciting story.

I'm afraid this story feel short of the exciting mark. When I first picked it up and started reading, I was dying to find out what was in the letter, but I would have to wait for that. Once the secret was out, I wanted to know what was going to happen next, with everyone's story. But the excitement wasn't there. This wasn't a book, that I had to hurry to get back to, which was very disappointing. I couldn't abandon the book, though because I had to know.

Would Rachel find her daughter's killer? Would Cecelia be able to live with her husband's secret? Would Tess and Will be able to work through their marriage? But getting those answers was not page turning and gripping.

I gave the book three stars because the whole premise behind the book was good, I enjoyed the story as a whole, but there was too much in between the good parts. Don't tell me about a secret letter at the beginning of the story and take three days to tell me what was in it....it's not fair. And what was happening in those three days was not exciting enough to make me wait. The moments just before the opening were the most thrilling.

Don't know if I will read more from Ms. Moriarty or not.
  
The Queen's Consorts
The Queen's Consorts
Kele Moon | 2019
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
“We should feel nothing toward her, yet I’m drawn to her– as powerfully as I’m drawn to you.”

If you’ve been reading Lover’s Quarrel reviews, then you know how much I love plot and character with my sex scenes. I mean, look at how much I hate The Doctor’s Slave compared to Mine for Tonight when they (very) roughly have the same concept. The scarcity of plot in erotica can be particularly vexing when I’m in the mood for a MMF threesome. (Doesn’t happen often, but even then I want some plot and good characters.)

The Queen’s Consorts definitely delivered. “In the days before the darkness the sun shone so brightly flowers grew right out of the ground,” Sari said softly. “Just like magic.”

Like everyone else on the planet of Auroria, Sari has never seen sunlight, and she never will unless the Queen returns to her Consorts and takes her proper place on the throne. But she doubts that will ever happen. After all, the young Queen has been missing since infancy, separated from her Consorts who were kept away from the world in the Sacred City, the palace in the Capital.

It took me a little bit to get used to Auroria. It’s common in this world for a woman to have two husbands, who will love and please her. With women so rare, they are valuable and meant to be cherished. Or they are meant to be extremely profitable sex slaves.

Sari resisted the urge to take Aria to a shelter, knowing there was usually a far worse fate than a life on the streets for young, unclaimed females. Being much more rare than males, if a girl was unfortunate enough to be orphaned and alone, they were usually seized for the underground sex market that was saturated with males.


Pretty crazy for a Queendom, where women are revered, huh? But it’s actually not a flaw. It just goes to show how out of whack everything is without the Queen there.

Unfortunately, the scarcity of women get Aria and Sari hunted down by a pack of teenaged boys, looking to make some quick money. Sari is able to fight them off enough for them to run, but she takes a bad beating. She only lives when a Sacred City guard recognizes her as a Rayian Sister. The guard takes her into the Sacred City, where she’s left to the care of the Consorts, Taryen and Calder, in their private chambers. After years of being abused by the Rayian Sisters, Taryen and Calder are used to only relying on and trusting each other. But it isn’t long before they realize Sari isn’t like the other Sisters.

Both Taryen and Calder are extremely sexy in their own way. Right away I had Taryen pegged as the kinder one who would freely love Sari first and Calder would take longer to learn to love and trust Sari.

“I want to care for her,” the other man said before his friend Calder could answer. “It’s not fair for her to suffer for misdeeds of others, Cal. I know you know that.”

“She’s Rayian, Taryen. Her needs will be the same as the rest of them.”

Calder is definitely the more wary of the two. He’s incredibly protective of Taryen, and he doesn’t trust Rayians for good reason. I knew he’d come around eventually, but for the time being I enjoyed Taryen’s amazingness. He was quick to take care of Sari, even at his own risk.

“She will be angry and inclined to punish if others of our sex have abused her.”

“That’s all right,” Taryen whispered a breath away from Sari. “I will bear their punishment for them if that’s what she needs to heal.”

Can I also just say that I love it when authors know that “alright” isn’t a word and they use the correct form? Good editing gets to me just as much as good characters.

If you’re thinking Taryen’s character is over the top and unrealistic, then you would be right. But that’s explained! He was born with a defect that makes him pure of heart. He’s unable to hold onto negative feelings and he’s incredibly selfless because of it. And damn, he’s pretty wonderful. Just perfectly wonderful.

Calder’s not pure of heart and like most people who have been sexually abused for years, he’s angry and resentful. The only person he trusts is Taryen. I was hoping for a long love story between him and Sari, honestly. He needs to work through trust issues, and even if he is attracted to her, he can’t bring himself to fall in love with a Rayian after what he’s been through. Right?

No.

Calder is wary of Sari… for like an hour. I know that the laws of nature have demanded that he love her and everything, but it was still too insta-love. Taryen is pure of heart and doesn’t have the emotional baggage Calder and Sari has. Of course Taryen is going to fall in love quicker. Calder, however, should have held out a little longer. I wanted one of them to take his time falling in love with her.

But I love Calder and Taryen together. They are beautiful without a doubt, and their love for each other actually made it really difficult for me to imagine them loving Sari just as much.

“Never treat me like one of them,” Calder growled as if the words themselves were hurting him. “I’m your lifemate. You’re allowed to take pleasure from me.”

Taryen’s groan was breathy in a way that betrayed his desire. “I’m sorry. It just slipped out.”

Don’t apologize.” Calder’s tone softened as his touch became gentle, his fingers tracing the line of Taryen’s jaw. “Just tell me what you want. Tell me what you think about when you’re with them. What thought makes it bearable?”

“I think of you.”

I was swooning in the college library when I read this. SWOONING!

I mean seriously, Calder and Taryen have way too much heat and love for me to handle. They alone can put the entire erotica industry to shame, let alone adding Sari into the mix. I mean, it’s like having both Sayid and Sawyer from Lost in all their sexiness.

My biggest problem with the story was the question of who the Queen was. After all, the Queen is the only woman the Consorts are supposed to be attracted to, she’s the same age as them, and because she was missing, she would be a Rayian without a clear past. And yet it’s not until over a third of the way through the book that Taryen and Calder figure out who she is. Seriously? It’s not like there are many Rayians running around who are their own age and have a clear past. It also irritates me that everyone believed Laysa when she claimed to be the Queen. Of course she would claim credit when the sun came back because she’s an opportunistic bitch. But if she was really the Queen, then wouldn’t she have brought the sun back when she started using the Consorts? Years ago?



The only other thing that bothered me was the sound effect when they were performing, um… fellatio. Whenever the action is completed, it’s completed with a soft popping sound. What the hell is that? That’s not sexy. No. Stop it. Sound effects are never appreciated in sex scenes.

But all in all, this book rocks. I loved the world of Auroria and the political war. The love story was fantastic, all things considered. And if you’re looking for a substantial erotica book with good writing and a well-developed plot, then you really need to check out The Queen’s Consorts.
  
You're Next (2013)
You're Next (2013)
2013 | Drama, Horror, Mystery
EVERYTHING!!!!! (0 more)
One fucked up family gathering... Hey, who invited the sheep??
Contains spoilers, click to show
When I sing the praises of a movie in it's entirety, people who read my reviews know I think it's amazing.
First things first, let me get the blowing the writer put of the way... Simon Barrett is a God amongst horror writers. He brings you to the edge, makes you think you know what's going on and then drives a stake through you beliefs like Van Helsing...
Your typical home invasion movie turns into a sinister and diabolical insurance scam that deflates the typical nature of this formerly typical plotline... I know, I'm saying typical alot...fuckin bite me.
Adam Wingard is an absolutely kick-ass director who I personally have watched grow in the genre, and who I have come to trust when it comes to picking a film out... Regardless of what people say, had Death Note not been a successful anime series before he took the helm of the movie, it would've been glorified as a work or horror/fantasy art.
Take your (that word again) typical upper class family, stick them in a deserted home for a family get together. Add another horror director, Ti West, and Wingard and Barrett's favorite actors... Joe Swanberg, A.J. Bowen and Amy Seimetz... Dash in some Australian hottie, Sharni Vinson. And add one of the most amazing Scream Queens to ever grace the screen, Barbara Crampton. And chuck in some relative nobodies for fodder and you have the ingredients for a wild ride.
You're Next appeals to me because home invasions happen. It has a reality to it that can be matched by 2008's The Strangers and a more recent addition, Hush.
This movie delivers on all fronts.
The Killers are a band of ex Marines who are contracted but an unlikely source to carry out the deaths of rich mom and dad.
The children in the family are the height of dysfunctional, thus proving money can't buy you sanity.
And the twist in this movie proves that secrets can be hidden well in a script if the proper distractions are in place.
One thing I'd like to add before I end this is the masks work by the Killers are straight creepy. Whoever thought to put them in those is genius. And they made for some great marketing posters and internet spots.
Simple flat white masks that have not scared me to death since I was a child and seen the iconic Michael Myers for the first time.
Barrett and Wingard make movies that are more reality based and that scare the bejesus out of you.
Check out A Horrible Way to Die if you don't believe me. It will not disappoint.
  
The Spaces In Between
The Spaces In Between
Collin Van Reenan | 2018 | Mystery
8
7.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
let me begin by saying, that you have to take five seconds out of your day to enjoy this cover. Hats off from me to the artist who made it, and if I would’ve had a paperback of this book, I would not be able to resist the urge to colour it in 😀 It is just so cool 😀 Another thing which still has me debating with myself is was this book based on a true story? All this experience was real? I am just left confused, where the fiction ends and true facts begin…

The main star of this book is Nicholas for sure. It is his story which makes the jaw drop. Lack of money and job forces him to work in this creepy house as an English tutor, but this house has strange residents, who live like it is 1916ies Russia. I really liked the complexity of all the residents in that house, they all were very amusing and unique personalities. They all have a role to play, and it is hard to distinguish whether they want to help or to harm Nicholas. The main character brought out many different emotions in me, I felt pity for the events he had to suffer, I was happy when good things happened to him and I was angry when he took silly decisions.

The whole story was told from two different perspectives. We have the introduction and investigative part told by a psychologist Dr Marie – Claire Groller, and the main story written down by Nicholas. I found both of the stories absolutely fascinating. The events highlighted in the blurb, which Nicholas had to suffer, are absolutely unimaginable, and the whole story is very dark, atmospheric, twisted and unbelievable. There is so much detail and emotions in his story, it is just creepy. I really enjoyed the investigation done by Dr Marie Clare and her father. I really liked all the information which they were able to find out, but I do miss the proper conclusion to this story. I WANT JUSTICE! 😀

I really enjoyed the structure of this book, I think it gave this book a great element of surprise. This book was easy to read, except for the French parts. I know maybe three words in French, so all the sentences without a translation left me a little annoyed. I really liked the decent length of the chapters and I loved the mask picture on the pages throughout the book. It gave this good feeling, that I am reading something written in medieval times. 🙂 So, to conclude, I strongly recommend reading this book, filled with unusual, eccentric characters and very unique and sinister setting, where reality mixes with fiction and imagination. What is real and what is an illusion? That’s the question. Enjoy 😀
  
The Silent Patient
The Silent Patient
Alex Michaelides | 2019 | Crime, Mystery, Thriller
8
8.3 (39 Ratings)
Book Rating
This is Michaelides' first book. I'm always a little suspicious when I try a new author, but I was extra suspicious because he is literally brand new. He. Did. Not. Disappoint. I was hooked from the very first page: a woman is found with her wrists slit in an apparent suicide attempt after, presumably, shooting her husband in the face 5 times. I mean, how's that for reeling the reader in? Reading from Alicia's diary was probably my favorite part, though Theo's point of view was far from lacking. I love books with an unreliable narrator because throughout the entire story your mind keeps bouncing back and forth between: is this character telling the truth or lying to me? In this case, I couldn't determine if Alicia was actually mentally unstable or if she was the victim of an unbelievable and unfortunate misunderstanding.
Alex is good with his suspense, too. There was an actual moment when I jumped just a little in my seat in anticipation of an attack, when it was just Theo being paranoid. However...
***SPOILERS AHEAD***













Perhaps a more intelligent person may have connected the dots long before I did. Fortunately (yes, fortunately), I'm a bit dimwitted, so things that are obvious to others ahead of time are not so obvious to me, which makes the surprise all the more unbelievable. So it didn't take me until Theo was standing outside Kathy's lover's house, watching his wife, that I got a crazy sense of de ja vu and LITERAL chills up and down my spine! This has never happened to me before, so kudos to Michaelides, and that's no joke.
However, even then (remember, dimwit) I couldn't fully understand why I was feeling that way, just that he was suddenly starting to sound like, if it were possible, he was the mystery man Alicia kept talking about in her diary. But that's impossible, right, because he only met her when he chose to work at the Grove in order to help heal her after hearing the story on the news. Then it all came crashing down on me and I suddenly realized, with an almost exaggerated physical response, what was really happening. Surprise!
I gave 'The Silent Patient' 4 stars instead of 5 because something felt off about the ending. It wasn't necessarily disappointing, because pretty much everything was answered and we know Theo is busted for all his wrongdoings. But there was something missing. I felt bereft, I suppose. Other than that, which I wish I could explain better, I was blown away by this book and was in kept in suspense the entire time - and the twist at the end was, indeed, an unbelievable twist. I'm quite certain I'll grab Alex's next release!
  
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Lee (2222 KP) rated Get Out (2017) in Movies

Jul 26, 2017  
Get Out (2017)
Get Out (2017)
2017 | Horror, Thriller
Slow, brilliant build up. Hugely satisfying ending (0 more)
The trailer spoils most of it (0 more)
Amazingly, I managed to head into Get Out having not even seen the trailer. It had been appearing more and more frequently on my news feeds recently, usually accompanied by a lot of positive buzz, and usually featuring an image of lead character Chris, wide eyed and terrified, with a tear running down his cheek (note that I’ve continued this trend with my review!). Described as a racial satire/horror it just didn’t really feature high on my watch list, but I booked a ticket to go see it, wanting to see what all the buzz was about. I’m kind of glad that I went in relatively blind as to what to expect though, as I was absolutely blown away by it.

Daniel Kaluuya plays Chris, a young black man dating a white girl called Rose (Allison Williams). He’s preparing to go and meet her parents for the first time but he’s a bit unsure as to what they’re going to think about him, despite Rose assuring him that he’s got nothing to worry about. When they arrive at the huge house out in the country, her parents really are fine with Chris. And they take every opportunity during their conversations to be positive about race and to assure Chris that they’re fine with him too, to the point where Chris (and us) begin to feel a little bit uneasy. This unease isn’t helped by the fact that there are two black servants in the house, neither of whom have very much to say and both acting very strangely. At night, the housekeeper wanders quietly around the house while the groundsman sprints around outside in the dark!

Paranoia and tension continues when a large group of family friends arrives for a party and they all seem very keen to get to know Chris and bond with him. One of the guests even has a black ‘companion’ who is also acting strangely. Despite the assurances from all, things definitely are not OK…

Of the little I read about Get Out beforehand, one of the reviews that stuck with me most described it a little bit like From Dusk Til Dawn in the way that everything suddenly all goes to shit in a hugely enjoyable and unexpected twist. There are definitely no vampires or anything similar in this movie, but I felt that it was a pretty good comparison. The movie spends a long time putting you on the edge of your seat, building up the tension, providing plenty of food for thought on modern day racism and adding the odd bit of welcome comedy relief from Chris’ friend on the end of the phone trying to support him. It’s all hugely enjoyable and even though you can guess pretty early on what’s going on, it’s all still hugely satisfying when the truth finally is revealed and the violence and action take over.