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Honestly, I can't believe I read the whole thing. Here's the premise of the first story: Girl gets turned into vamp. Has sex. Has some more sex. A tiny bit of plot. Even kinkier sex. Sex, sex, sex. And more sex than plot throughout the remainder of the story. Honestly the redundancy got really boring. Now, I knew this was erotica (or Erotic Romance as it says on the spine) going into this, but I had read that there was a good plot in there too. I would think even erotica would have at least equal plot with the sex, if not slightly more. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know, this is the only book in this genre I've read. And seeing as it does say it's also a romance, I would expect some feelings and emotions behind all the rutting sex in almost every possible sexual situation known to man (and wolf), but no, there's nothing there. The second story is slightly better in the love territory, but the plot is a complete disaster. While I didn't care for Tori in the first story, I hated her here. What a *bleep*! And if there's nothing I despise more, it's a Mary Sue; every guy wants her, she's this perfect creature, et cetera, et cetera, excuse me while I throw up. And it's carrying it too far that everyone hates Sarel and she has to suffer that much because she made a big mistake, but geez, deal with it! She knows she was stupid and wrong, and Eli forgave her. Bunch of hypocrites.

So it sounds like I totally hated the book, not so. The ideas are solid and in between sex scenes in the first story, it was well-written. So overall, not the worst thing I've read, but far, far from the best. I do have another in the series sitting here that I'll give a try, although I think it might be my last one by this author, unless she goes strictly romance.
  
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Bong Mines Entertainment (15 KP) rated Ella Mai by Ella Mai in Music

Jun 7, 2019 (Updated Jun 7, 2019)  
Ella Mai by Ella Mai
Ella Mai by Ella Mai
2018 | Rhythm And Blues, Soul
8
7.5 (2 Ratings)
Album Rating
Ella Mai is a talented R&B/Soul singer from London, England. Not too long ago, she released her deliciously impressive self-titled debut studio album, which uses her name as an acronym to communicate its message.

Ella Mai – “Good Bad”

‘Good Bad’ tells the story of a moody woman who’s not perfect. One day, she has a pleasant personality, and another, an attitude. If she was single, her behavior might go unnoticed, but the thing is she isn’t single.

She’s in an up-and-down relationship with a guy she desires. And oftentimes, he thinks she’s mad at him whenever she gets in one of her bad moods. Also, she knows her good side is the reason why he doesn’t get up and leave. But in a weird way, he likes her bad side.

‘Good Bad’ contains a relatable storyline, soul vocals, and a groovy neo-soul instrumentation produced by Nana Rogues.

Ella Mai – “Dangerous”

‘Dangerous’ tells the tale of a woman who’s in a loving relationship with a guy she’s deeply in love with. She cooks breakfast for him because he shows he deserves her love. But the danger comes in play when she risks it all by putting her all in their relationship, which has no guarantee.

‘Dangerous’ contains a romantic narrative, r&b/soul vocals, and a spunky Bryan-Michael Cox-produced instrumentation oozing with a poppin’ neo-dance flavor.

Ella Mai – “Sauce”

‘Sauce’ tells the tale of an attractive female with a confident, stylish nature. She’s in a new relationship with a guy who’s already head-over-heels in love with her. But the thing is they haven’t been together that long. Either he’s trippin’ or addicted to her sauce.

‘Sauce’ contains a relevant storyline, r&b/soul vocals, and bouncy instrumentation produced by Quintin Gulledge and DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Whatchamacallit” feat. Chris Brown

‘Whatchamacallit’ tells a tale of a guy and a girl who’s in a secret relationship with each other. The woman has a boyfriend and the man has a girlfriend but that doesn’t stop them from committing a romantic crime. They know their sensual action is wrong, but it feels so right that they override their conscience.

‘Whatchamacallit’ contains an exciting storyline, wonderful soul vocals, and charismatic instrumentation produced by J Holt and DJ Mustard.

“Cheap Shot”


‘Cheap Shot’ tells the tale of a woman who has a dude who loves her, but she didn’t know beforehand how he felt until now. The term ‘cheap shop’ indicates that he takes advantage of her when she’s at her weakest point in life. A time when she just needs to chill instead of going through the emotions of love all over again.

‘Cheap Shots’ contains a relatable storyline, r&b soul vocals, and lush instrumentation produced by Harmony Samuels.

Ella Mai – “Shot Clock”

‘Shot Clock’ tells the tale of a woman who’s been dating a guy for five years. She thinks he’s playing games about commitment, therefore, she gives him 24-seconds to make a decision. But if the shot clock winds down to zero, he might find his babe in the arms of another man.

‘Shot Clock’ contains a relatable storyline, r&b/soul vocals, and charismatic instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Boo’d Up”

The video finds Ella and her man riding Go Karts inside an amusement area with several friends. The newly-formed couple is happy and boo’d up in public.

‘Boo’d Up’ is a contemporary love song that finds Ella reminiscing about a past lover. Although their relationship is over, she finds it hard getting over that special person who makes her heartbeat bounce abnormally.

‘Boo’d Up’ contains a relatable narrative, gorgeous soul vocals, and ear-welcoming instrumentation oozing with classic neo-soul elements. The track was produced by Larrance Dopson and DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Everything” feat. John Legend

‘Everything’ tells a sweet tale of a woman who appreciates the guy she’s with. Both of them are giving their all to keep their relationship healthy. According to the woman, they have everything they want.

‘Everything’ contains a relatable storyline, soul-pop vocals, and lovely instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard, Dayyon Alexander, and Jeff Alexander.

“Own It”

‘Own It’ tells an erotic tale of a woman who’s ready to get down and dirty with her significant other. She has on a T-shirt and panties and he’s on his knees servicing her body. Fluids are dripping and they are talkin’ naughty to each other while making love all night long.

‘Own It’ contains a sexy narrative, soul vocals, and slow-grinding instrumentation produced by Kosine and Miykal Snoddy.

“Run My Mouth”

‘Run My Mouth’ tells a tale of a woman who’s in love with a guy she’s in a relationship with. She’s addicted to making love to him, and every time they make love she runs her mouth in a good way because the sex is good.

‘Run My Mouth’ contains a sexy storyline, charismatic vocals, and melodic-trap instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.

“Gut Feeling” feat. H.E.R.

‘Gut Feeling’ tells the tale of a young woman; her intuition tells her that the guy she’s in love with is guilty of something. She searches his phone looking for clues of his infidelity but finds nothing. Later that day, she asks him to come clean if he’s doing something wrong such as cheating, etc.

‘Gut Feeling’ contains a relatable storyline, charming soul vocals, and lovely instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Trip”

‘Trip’ tells the tale of a woman who’s addicted to making good love with her significant other. But when she doesn’t get it, she overreacts or gets bent out of shape.

‘Trip’ contains a relatable storyline, soothing soul vocals, and piano-laden instrumentation produced by Keys and DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Close”

‘Close’ tells the tale of a woman who appreciates the man she’s in love with. All day every day she thinks about him. Apparently, she’s not an easy person to be with, but somehow, his easygoingness balances her nature when they are close in each other’s arms.

‘Close’ contains a sensual storyline, charming melodies, and charismatic instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Easy”

‘Easy’ tells the tale of a woman who’s in a new relationship with a guy she desires. Apparently, he’s a little uneasy about commitment. She reassures him that he should let his guard down and not worry. Therefore, she makes it easy for him to fall in love with her.

‘Easy’ contains an evergreen narrative, soul vocals, and ear-welcoming instrumentation produced by Lido and DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Naked” (Bonus Track)

‘Naked’ tells the tale of a woman who’s looking for a guy who will love her unconditionally. Someone who will look past her flaws. Someone who will say she’s beautiful even when she doesn’t look the part.

‘Naked’ contains a relatable storyline, wonderful soul vocals, and sexy instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.
“Ella Mai”
Ella Mai

In conclusion, Ella Mai’s self-titled debut studio album is a wonderful work of art. We totally enjoyed listening to each song from beginning to end.

Also, her voice sets a gorgeous tone while projecting an appealing and relatable narrative mostly focused on the up-side of romantic relationships, which contributes to the album’s feel-good vibe.

Mai’s first full-length offering is deliciously impressive and solidifies the London songstress at the helm of the contemporary R&B market.

https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/ella-mai-debut-album/
  
Kick-Ass (2010)
Kick-Ass (2010)
2010 | Action, Comedy, Drama
Kick-Ass starts out as a clever action movie with good humor interspersed throughout the first half, but by the second half the jokes trail off as the movie takes a blacker turn toward a mindless and confusing tale of morality.

Viewing this movie as a mindless action flick, it is impressive and at times humorous, albeit that humor, in the immersive first half, is deadened by the much darker scenes toward the end of the film. But if you’re trying to find a deeper message hidden behind the motivations and actions of the characters on screen, you perhaps would be better served by reading the comic first. The violence was surprisingly graphic for what started out as a clever and somewhat endearing highschool drama about not fitting in and trying to change the world for the better.

As the director of Layer Cake and Stardust, Matthew Vaughn has shown before that he knows how to do action and fantasy, and in this movie, the action scenes are tight and gripping and slightly surreal. You may even recognize a few cameos if you’re familiar with Guy Ritchie films.

Aaron Johnson, as the title character, brings a smart vulnerability to his part. As an overly ambitious, but well meaning comic book fan, his stabs at super-heroics were quite believable.

This movie may be titled Kick-Ass, but the most interesting character is Hit-Girl, played by Chloë Grace Moretz. Quite a few child actors come across as precocious, and Moretz is a welcome change. She shares some great scenes with Nicolas Cage, a vengeful father who has turned his 11 year-old daughter into a killing machine. Cage’s deadpan humor as Big Daddy matches surprisingly well with the giddy, foul-mouthed, black humor of Hit-Girl.

In a way, I may be doing the movie a disservice if I were to dwell on the plot holes, morality, and thematic elements of this movie which are clearly not the focused intent of the director. Not every movie is intended to be a deep and meaningful reflection on life, so in that regard, this movie is simply a blood-drenched charmer.
  
Under Rose-Tainted Skies
Under Rose-Tainted Skies
Louise Gornall | 2016 | Children
9
8.3 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
If you want an accurate representation of what it's like to live with mental health issues, read this book. Please.

Going into this book I was worried about two things:
1. Is this a story of a boy magically curing a girl?
2. Will the representation of mental illness be good/accurate/consistent, or will it just show up every couple of chapters to move the story along?

Rest assured, it is neither of those negative things.
The struggles of mental illness are on every single page. And they aren't underplayed. They aren't made to be cute and quirky. Norah bites her hand, scratches until she bleeds, curls up into herself, has horrible panic attacks and so much more. I cannot express how important it is for these things to be shown. They aren't exactly fun or easy to read, but neither is experiencing those things first hand.
It's so important to see this type of representation in media, it doesn't make everything better, but it helps make a person feel less alone, so a huge thank you to Louise Gornall for sharing her experiences and her brain-child with the world.

The relationship was so sweet, what a great fella that Luke is. He doesn't magically cure her, he doesn't pull her out of her house and take her to a crowded venue to experience what life is. He is understanding, and when he doesn't understand he puts the effort in to fix that. He's just such a great guy and I want me someone like that in my life. Someone who won't push, but who won't let you burrow into yourself either.

Whilst being a quick read, it was far from being an easy read. As someone with mental health problems, I related heavily to many of the moments in the books, and that was difficult. It makes you view the way you think and behave from a different perspective. When I'm doing or saying or thinking something self-destructive, I feel like I deserve it. But seeing someone else go through maybe not the same, but similar things... it really makes you look at yourself and forces you to reevaluate your actions. It's not a cure, but it makes you think, and sometimes that's a much-needed thing.

There is a self-harm scene that's difficult to read, not because Gornall makes it this bloody disgusting mess, but because she takes you through the thought process. Before it happens, while it's happening, immediately after it happens and then a minute or so after. It's rough to read, but again, very important for it to be represented in a way like that. I've never read another book that deals with self-harm like that. Even more so, the book goes into how self-harming takes many forms, it's not just cutting. It's digging nails until your flesh breaks, not eating, peeling back your cuticles. Again, it's a lot.

As heavy as this book can be, it's also one that'll make you smile. Not just for the witty lines such as:

"Beyond the fire and brimstone, everyone has their own idea of hell. Shopping, doing Common Core math, fish-nibbling-at-your-feet spa treatments, or having to spend an eternity surrounded by people who click pens"

And

"It means we take all our clothes off, and he turns into a koala, clinging to me like a tree while we watch TV."

As much as I love seeing someone bash Common Core and make sex jokes with their mom, that's not the only reason why I was smiling throughout this book. It was impossible to not feel a connection towards Norah. She is just a character that you will find yourself constantly rooting for. With every small achievement she made, I couldn't help but smile. It was like watching your best friend stress and worry about something for weeks just to see them finally do the thing and see how okay they are, how happy they are. That's how this book made me feel towards Norah. That odd sense of pride.

Really the only thing that bothered me from time to time was that the authors British showed, such as the way characters would speak or the words used that aren't commonly used in America, as the story takes place in California. Also, the pacing was a bit weird to me, but not so much so that I couldn't enjoy the book.

Seriously, if you want a book that deals with mental health in an accurate way, read this. Of course, everyone experiences things differently and all that, but this is seriously one of the most realistic portrayals in YA that I've read.
  
Léon: The Professional (1994)
Léon: The Professional (1994)
1994 | Action, Drama, Mystery
Heart-racing Drama
Against his better judgement, a hitman takes in a little girl after her entire family is slaughtered.

Acting: 10
Loved Jean Reno as Leon the hitman as it is inarguably his greatest performance. You can tell very early on this is a guy you don’t want to mess with. Despite his excellence, Natalie Portman outshined everyone, even Reno, in her role as Mathilda, a revenge-seeking girl that has to grow up before she’s ready. She leaves such an impact from the way she harbors rage and sadness, sometimes within the same scene. While young, this is also one of her strongest performances as an actress. When you’re getting the best of your two stars, you know you have a great movie on your hands.

Beginning: 10

Characters: 10

Cinematography/Visuals: 8

Conflict: 7
I think my issue with the actual conflict throughout the duration of the movie stems more from how amazing the beginning is. The first ten minutes of the movie almost spoil you into expecting the rest of the film to be that way. Alas it is not. It moves at a bit of a slower clip and you start to feel it playing out as more of a drama than an action movie. Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty of tension to be had, just not quite enough to blow me away.

Entertainment Value: 8

Memorability: 7
There is one particularly tense moment that had my heart racing: I don’t want to give too much away by setting the scene, but Mathilda is waiting outside of Leon’s door, pleading for him to let her in. Every single time I watch that scene, my heart leaps into my throat even though I know what’s going to happen. It’s that intense vulnerability that really sticks out. While the movie isn’t oozing with scenes to remember, say like my last review of Dirty Dancing, there was definitely enough to keep my attention.

Pace: 10
Once you understand that the movie is a drama and not an action film, you can respect the pace a lot more. The movie pushes character development and the relationship between Leon and Mathilda. By the time the film reaches its conclusion, there is legitimate concern for their well-being because you’ve grown to like both of them.

Plot: 10

Resolution: 1
Did not like the ending in the slightest. I was hoping for more. Endings like this are fine when there is more closure. As bad as it was, I still enjoyed the movie as a whole.

Overall: 81
Leon: The Professional is a great movie to watch with someone who prefers drama over action and you’re trying to meet them in the middle. It is endearing to watch Leon and Mathilda’s relationship blossom with the mad world that has been thrust upon them. The action is subtle, but the movie is awesome.
  
Pokémon: Detective Pikachu  (2019)
Pokémon: Detective Pikachu (2019)
2019 | Animation, Comedy, Fantasy
Detective Pikachu is the long awaited live action movie of the beloved video game and animated tv show franchise. The video game has sold over 1.31 billion units, so this movie has a very established fan base that is excited for new content, but also critical when new product doesn’t meet their expectations.

Video game movies in general are typically VERY bad. So bad that any time I hear they are making a movie out of a video game I immediately cringe out of reflex. I’ve been permanently scarred by the likes of Tekken, Super Mario Bros and Mortal Kombat. When Tomb Raider is your benchmark for the best of the best you have reason to be afraid when they say that Detective Pikachu is coming to theaters.

But fear not! This movie is not perfect but it does entertain!

Detective Pikachu is played by the voice of Ryan Reynolds, which in case you didn’t know Pokemon typically do not talk, so this is unusual right off the bat. Pokemon basically just repeat their name over and over again with different voice inflections in order to convey mood or urgency. It’s not as annoying as it sounds; it’s typically adorable actually. Reynolds does an excellent PG impersonation of Deadpool as Pikachu in a comedic role as detective Pikachu and it works surprisingly well. His comic timing is so perfect and the jokes don’t come off as childish or boorish, it really flows and works perfectly in the movie.

Justice Smith plays the lead character role of Tim Goodman who is trying to solve the murder of his estranged father. Justice Smith is very likable and you root for him to beat the bad guy and get the girl (played by Kathryn Newton), which is all you really need in a summer action movie; you need to want the hero or heroine to win. Justice Smith does a great job and I could see them building a franchise around his character going forward.

The visuals are fantastic! Its great seeing the characters from the video game walking around full size like that on the big screen and they did not just do a few, the movie is crawling with them and I loved that.

The story is fairly standard and does follow a formula but it moves along at a good pace and at 1 hour and 44 minutes long it feels like it’s not too long or too short. There are jokes that only the adults will get, there are game characters that only hardcore fans will recognize, but this movie was made for as wide an audience as a video game movie could be. They were trying to make it accessible to all, and I think they accomplished that.

It’s a big budget buddy cop popcorn movie with a lot of action, some laughs, a very light and fluffy kid friendly side love story and great special effects. There was a plot hole or two but it was forgivable and too entertaining to ruin it. I highly recommend turning off your brain, grabbing some popcorn and just enjoying this movie. Not perfect, but very good and fun!
  
Thirteen Weddings
Thirteen Weddings
Paige Toon | 2014
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
I suppose I should say that I'm not normally a lover of chick-lit but Paige Toon is an author I will buy happily.

CONTAINS SPOILERS, SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

I feel a bit like I'm in limbo. Is there going to be a second book? I WANT there to be a second book! I NEED there to be a second book.

I'm sorry but I was pretty much Team Alex all the way through this. Okay at the end he didn't help himself when he went through with his stupid wedding, but for me the attraction and connection between him and Bronte was amazing. He told her he loved her, messaged her everyday, she phones him up to tell him to stop and he does? Really? It seems too easy. I never really saw Alex as a quitter.

And Lackie...I liked you. Just not as a couple with Bronte. You were fun, charming, sexy...but I can't say I felt the chemistry between you as much as I could with Alex.

AND considering I tend to want my girl to go with the first guy...then that would be Alex.

I loved the first 75%. It was the author's usual witty book with great, likeable characters and an interesting plotline which I loved. I would have gladly given it 5 stars if not for the ending.

I know the author can't please everyone with her story, and that it's terrible of me to rate it down an entire star just because she didn't write the ending I wanted, but that's the kind of mood I'm in right now.
  
GG
Gamer Girl
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
I was in the process of getting another book entirely at the library when I noticed Mari Mancusi's Gamer Girl peeking out from its hiding place between two other books. Being the occasional gamer myself (though currently I'm being a little too scholarly to even focus on gaming), I could definitely relate to the title (not so much the synopsis).

There's much to love about Gamer Girl: the synopsis made the book sound like a very happy book – something that I've been on the hunt for awhile. The cover is simplistic and gorgeous – it definitely puts down the entire idea of the book with the drawing of the main character, Maddy, and the avatar she uses in a game (Fields of Fantasy) she gets for her birthday shortly after her parents divorce. The interior is just as gorgeous as the cover – the chapter headings depict Maddy's main emotions she's feeling by the end of the chapter.

Mancusi's writing style and use of Maddy's voice is great as well – Maddy is a very relatable character and she has an attitude that isn't annoying, making the book feel perfectly paced as Maddy gets to know SirLeo in Fields of Fantasy and falls in love with him. For awhile it probably feels as though Maddy will find out SirLeo is really an online predator.

Much as I really loved Gamer Girl and Mancusi's writing style, the book feels as though it's aimed more toward middle grade than a high schooler my age. The book is stereotypical with Maddy being bullied by the "Royal Court" as soon as she starts a new school and Maddy tries to escape from the troubles of her reality by entering the gaming world and playing Fields of Fantasy with an elfin character named Allora, someone she would rather be. It all leads to a very cute and adorable ending with the popular guy falling for the outcast – very happy and light-hearted, and certainly not something you're likely to come across in real life, compared to the realistic drama of Margo Kelly's Who R U Really.
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Review originally posted at <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2015/01/review-gamer-girl-by-mari-mancusi.html">Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
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If I Stay (2014)
If I Stay (2014)
2014 | Drama
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. That’s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that she’s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, she’s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether it’s really even worth it to endure life’s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.

Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.

Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.

First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.

Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.


If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.

(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)