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Kubo and the Two Strings (2016)
Kubo and the Two Strings (2016)
2016 | Action, Animation, Sci-Fi
A great film for any family night
Contains spoilers, click to show
Kubo and the two strings is a heart warming, coming of age movie, for the whole family. Adults, you will appericate the story line and the plight that Kubo undergoes. Kids will love the animation and the characters. From the moment that the movie started, I fought back the tears. You see a mother and baby in the middle of the ocean one moment and the next, you see them ship wrecked on a beach. You skip forward a few years to when Kubo is about the age of ten. He is now a caregiver for his mother who you come to understand as mentally ill, with something like alzheimer's or dementia. Daily young Kubo goes into the neighboring village and tells fantastic stories of a Samurai Knight, and how he battles the evil Moon King and his army, all while playing his Sangen (a Japanese Guitar) and creating Origami creatures for the story. But as the bells ring for night to come forth, Kubo runs home.

It seems that his mother only "comes to life" when its night time. And then shortly there after returns to a catatonic state. One day while in the village an old beggar woman who befriended him tells him a story of how she speaks with her dead husband at night during a certain ritual. Kubo, who is confused and longing to know anything about his father who was said to be the greatest Samurai, goes to the ancestral resting place and tries to summon his father.

Time gets away from him and night befalls rather quickly. Soon two masked spectral spirits appear, and tell him that they are his aunts. Kubo is then told the reason he is missing an eye is due to his grandfather who only wanted to have his other eye so that he could join them in the heavens. Kubo begins running back to the village. The two spirits attack and destroy the village. When they are almost upon him, his mother shows up and uses the last of her magics to activate a totem and to create wings to whisk him away to safety, far away from his blood thirsty aunts. Kubo then wakes up in a vast frozen waste land with a monkey looking after him. The monkey begins to address Kubo, telling him that they need to go on this quest to find a magical suite of armor that his father once wore. So Kubo and Monkey set off on a quest. Kubo is awaken by the monkey, saying that the origami papers that he carried in his pack, were flying around and that in his sleep he created an origami Samurai. The same Samurai from his stories. This little paper guardian, shows them the way to the armor's pieces, which consist of a sword, a breast plate, and a helmet. Along the way they come across a Beetle who was once a Samurai who was cursed to live the rest of his life as a beetle. After that the unlikely foursome come across a cave that has the sword in it. But much like Kubos life, it was not an easy task to retrieve it as it awakened a tall skeleton warrior, which they had to defeat. They then come to a large body of water, which Kubo uses his magic and his Samgen to create a boat made out of leaves. Monkey exclaims to him how his power is growing. As they set sail, the little paper Samurai point out that the breast plate is at the bottom of the water. Kubo remembering a story that his mother told him, of eyes that show you what you want to see most, lived at the bottom of the water. Beetle offers to dive in and look for the breast plate as "beetles can hold their breaths for a really long time under water, and are great swimmers." After quite some time passes Kubo dives in after Beetle and the breast plate. Monkey is then attacked by one of the evil aunts. While Kubo is under the water he finds the breast plate, and the eyes. They show him that the Monkey is actually his mother in the form of a spirit totem (MIND BLOWN)...Becoming dazzled by the eyes, he begins to drowned. Beetle swoops in and begins shooting the eyes and rescues Kubo. During this time Monkey is battling one of the aunts and defeats her. Kubo and the gang then continue their quest to find the helmet, which is back at his fathers fort. Once back at the fort one of the aunts reveals to Kubo and to Monkey that Beetle is actually Kubos father. So Kubo now armed with this new knowledge is able to defeat his aunt, but not after losing both his parents again. Kubo then uses his magic, to fly back to his village to adorn the helmet to complete his suite of armor. He then has to battle his grandfather The Moon King. At which point The Moon King transforms into a giant centipede like demon. Kubo uses his wits, and magic, to defeat his grandfather and makes him mortal. In his mortal state he loses his memories, and the village people tell him how he was a just and honest man, and how he was kind. The story ends on an upswing.

Over all the movie was really good. I love how engaging it was, and all the attention to detail they provided in it since it was a stop motion claymation. I highly recommend this for any family night.
  
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Darren (1599 KP) rated 13 Sins (2014) in Movies

Jun 20, 2019  
13 Sins (2014)
13 Sins (2014)
2014 | Horror, Mystery
7
8.0 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Story: 13 Sins starts as Elliot Brindle (Webber) about to get married to Shelby (Wesley) and start his own family but because he isn’t as ruthless in his salesman job he loses his job making it difficult to supporting his mentally disabled brother Michael (Graye) and his bitter father (Bower).

Running out of options a chance phone call promises him money for doing something as simple as killing a fly once complete Elliot gets a second phone call with the promise of more money for a task. With two challenges down Elliot get offered a chance to enter into a game to complete in 11 more challenges to get more money that could change his life forever.

When the challenge starts to become very twisted it grabs the attention of Detective Chilcoat (Perlman) but just how far will Elliot will go for the money.


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13 Sins gives us a horror thriller that pushes our character to the limit which is why I do think this is a very enjoyable. I will say it starts out slow and puts the character in a position that you would expect them to take the challenge by not knowing how far they would be pushed. This helps us think this would be hard to say no to. I will say this really pulls you in but I do think the certain moments at the end feel forced.

 

Actor Review

 

Mark Webber: Elliot Brindle is a down on his luck salesman who is about to get married, have his own child all while supporting his mentally disabled brother and alcoholic father. When he gets phone call he gets a chance to end all of his money troubles by completing a set of challenges, this will test Elliot to the very limits leaving us to wonder how far he will do. Mark is great in this role making us feel like he really is an average man struggling.

Devon Graye: Michael Brindle is the mentally disabled brother of Elliot who is about to find himself back in a home if his brother doesn’t find money to support him. Devon seems like an important character that just seems to get forgotten through the final outcome of the film.

Rutina Wesley: Shelby is the fiancée of Elliot who is getting ever so upset with Elliot on the day of the challenges because he is coming off distant but her relationship is important to everything that is happening. Rutina is basic in this supporting role because we don’t get the screen time.

Ron Perlman: Detective Chilcoat takes the case that Elliot finds himself causing him to discover what has been happening for years. Ron is solid in this supporting role that has a moment that is worth the wait nearer the end.

Support Cast: 13 Sins has a supporting cast that is included in the game in ways you have to figure out how they are involved.

Director Review: Daniel Stamm – Daniel gives us a thriller that is shocking in places as we just have to see how far we see our character go.

 

Horror: 13 Sins has gore moments that shock but filled with suspense around the gore.

Thriller: 13 Sins keeps us on edge as we wonder what will happen next in the game.

Settings: 13 Sins doesn’t have the most iconic locations which helps make us think it is in a small city but with the bigger picture of the game doesn’t work.
Special Effects: 13 Sins has great special effects used throughout with the gore factors.

Suggestion: 13 Sins is one for the horror fans to watch. (Horror Fans Watch)

 

Best Part: Final twist.

Worst Part: Slow starting.

 

Believability: No

Chances of Tears: No

Chances of Sequel: No

Post Credits Scene: No

Similar Too: Would You Rather, Cheap Thrills

 

Oscar Chances: No

Budget: $4 Million

Runtime: 1 Hour 33 Minutes

Tagline: You don’t play the game. It plays you.

Overall: Surprisingly entertaining horror thriller keeping us guessing throughout.

https://moviesreview101.com/2016/10/03/movie-reviews-101-midnight-halloween-horror-13-sins-2014/
  
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Captain Marvel (2019)
Captain Marvel (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure
Women: Be the Best Version of Yourselves!
So, after much brouhaha and trolling – probably mostly from woman-hating teenage nerds who can’t get laid – Brie Larson‘s hyper-hero barrels onto our cinema screens.

Stan Lee tribute.
First off, what a Marvel-lous idea to pay tribute to Stan Lee in the Marvel production logo for this film. Michael Giacchino‘s rousing Marvel anthem leads to a simple title card: “Thanks Stan”. Poignant and touching.

Lee makes another cameo in this film. I wonder how many more of these they have in the can? Will they “do a Princess Leia” in future films and CGI in his cameos? I’m not a great fan of this, but he’s such a staple part of the show that – with his family’s permission of course – I would actually welcome having that happen in this specific case.

The Plot.
The movie opens on the Kree home world of Hala where Vers, a member of Starforce (“a race of noble warrior heroes”), is being put through her paces by her mentor Yon-Rogg (Jude Law). But she is one mixed up lady, having some exceptional powers but no memory of her past. As an example of this, when she communes with the ‘Supreme Intelligence’ (who looks different to everyone) she sees a woman (Annette Bening) who she clearly admires but she has no idea why.

The Kree are at war against the race of terrorist thugs known as the Skrulls. (Their name reminds me of a classic Mitchell and Webb Nazi SS sketch – “We have skulls on our caps…. does that mean we’re the baddies?”). After a Skrull ambush and some judicious brain-delving, Vers surfaces memories that leads her back to the Terran home world and a past that is set to redefine her future.

What’s good.
A lot. I really enjoyed this Marvel outing. With all the nay-sayers, I went in with low expectations, but the story actually built well and Brie Larson makes the role her own. It goes without saying that she looks gorgeous and fills out that costume very nicely! (The zero gravity ‘hair scene’ is spectacular). But she manages to convey with that style superhero grit with an essence of quirky humour running underneath it. In doing so she holds the whole film together.

Also spectacular were the ‘youngified’ Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson) and Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg). The effect could have been ‘uncanny valley’ with knobs on, but is actually done so well I didn’t even notice. The chemistry between Jackson and Larson is great.

In the strong supporting cast Annette Bening is pure class, and a well-toned Jude Law seems to be having enormous fun. Elsewhere, Ben Mendelsohn (of “Rogue One” fame) is the leader of the Krulls and “Goose” is played by Reggie, Gonzo, Archie and Rizzo! (Flerkin hell!)

 The Marvel/DC Laff-ometer.
A key characteristic of the Marvel/DC films is the humour injected (more it has to be said in Marvel than DC), and in terms of the Marvel/DC-laffometer, this film probably lies fairly in the middle of the range. It’s not the snort-fest of Ragnarok or GotG, but neither is it at the po-faced Man of Steel end. Much fun is made of the 1995 setting with gags from Arnie in “True Lies” to computer loading times being well-exploited.

There are also lots of great Marvel in-jokes, not least of which is the story behind Fury losing his eye: hilarious!

What’s not so good.
The problem I have with “Transformers” films is that there is little tension for me in seeing robots hitting ten-bells out of each other. I’ve similarly commented that many superhero movies have the same flaw that (Thanos aside, as things stand) they are pretty much indestructible and there is little threat implied. Captain Marvel however takes this to entirely different levels: the Hulk smash is a mere gnat-bite compared to what Carol Danvers can deliver; storming through planet-busting nuclear weapons and starships without a scratch. It’s so over-the-top that a showdown scene in the finale, although played for a laugh, also becomes laughable in the wrong way.

The film also ladles on female empowerment as if it was gravy in an Australian chip shop! (I bet Theresa May has the film on permanent loop in the Downing Street home cinema). Don’t get me wrong, I am a big supporter of #MeToo (and indeed #SheDo), but the film is a bit too heavy handed in its messaging in this area.

A troop of monkeys.
There are two extra scenes in the end titles (“monkeys“) and they are both corkers. The first bridges directly from “Infinity War” to “Endgame”, picking up (literally) that pager that Nick Fury was no longer able to hang onto; the second a nice sight gag featuring Goose that links the end of this film to the “monkey” at the end of Thor! Well worth waiting for!

Final Thoughts.
This was a Marvel film I really enjoyed, and which I would definitely re-watch. It’s been written and directed by ‘indie’ writing duo Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck (with Geneva Robertson-Dworet also contributing to the screenplay), and very well done it is in my view. Not everyone seems to have liked it: but I did!

On April 25th, the Danvers vs Thanos match is going to be a bout that will be worth buying tickets to see!
  
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Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) in Movies

Jun 22, 2019 (Updated Sep 25, 2019)  
Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Five years after Godzilla saved us from the MUTO attack the world (or some of it at least) wants to see an end to the potential threat of the Titans. Monarch are studying them and hiding them away from the world, but there are calls to destroy the monsters before more devastation befalls the planet?

Dr Emma Russell has developed the Orca, a device that communicates with the Titans and can be used to calm them and stop any further destruction. Not everyone has the same idea about how to use the Orca though and it's taken, along with Dr Russell and her daughter Madison, after its successful test run. The race is on to recover the device and avert the impending crisis.

Godzilla is one of my favourite monsters. For years the 1998 film with Matthew Broderick and Jean Reno in it was one of my favourite films. I also love the "proper" Godzilla movies where they destroy Tokyo at every given opportunity. To have new films felt like a wonderful thing... until I saw 2014 Godzilla. I rewatched it before going to see King Of The Monsters and I remembered how underwhelmed I was. The characters didn't grab me and I found the whole thing uninspiring. The prospect of a second wasn't great, but then I saw the trailers, they were spectacular.

I really enjoyed this and went to see it again in 3D, a much more peaceful screening than the first viewing. The girl who was sitting a couple of seats away was animatedly jumping at every opportunity, her reaction was far scarier than anything that happened on the screen.

This was much improved on the last instalment. I loved that it embraced the original films and the fact that it switched its focus more to the monsters than the humans. You go to a monster movie to see monsters, and Godzilla 2014 felt like it had forgotten that fact.

If I had to describe this film to someone I'd say it was a combination of Infinity War and Jurassic Park, just with slightly larger monsters... yep, I'm fairly happy with that comparison. I may have been imagining it but I felt like there were a few nods to JP jumbled in there... maybe that's just me.

There's a collection of recognisable faces in the cast and I don't think there's a single person who underperforms. I thought that Millie Bobby Brown gave a great performance as Madison, she managed to give us a child character that wasn't particularly annoying, which may actually be a first in creature features.

Charles Dance makes an excellent bad guy, there's something about his look, a cross between a vampire and the restaurant critic from Ratatouille that works for me. He also gets to have a great moment of silent humour with Brown when they're in a lift together, it was very unexpected for their potential on-screen relationship.

We get to see four of our Titans in this movie as main players. Godzilla, obvs, Mothra, Rodan and Monster Zero, or King Ghidorah to his friends. The sheer scale they've gone to is amazing, and I thought the way they were created with their individual traits was beautiful. The one drawback to the beautiful glowing monster bodies is that the scenes have to be fairly dark to appreciate that aspect. They manage to use those aspects of the creatures to give the extra lighting the scenes need meaning that you get something that's both dark and scary as well as light and hopeful. The colours were something that really stood out to me in the advertising, the lightness of the blue and green against the anger of the orange and yellow, it shows the good and evil relationship really well.

The size of the creatures is mad and sometimes a little impossible to gauge, we get a few moments where we're given some perspective with man-made structures but they do a good job of trying to get it across in basic visual techniques too. You see a lot of them from "human" angles, from the ground running, from buildings and vehicles. It feels like an exercise in shock and awe and takes you back to Dr Serizawa's point at the beginning of the film that we're Godzilla's pets, it's not the other way around.

The effects/animation looked solid, at no point did I see anything on-screen that drew my attention away from the action. One moment in particular stood out and that was a large explosion somewhere in the middle of the movie. It was given an old fashioned kind of a look and it gave me the impression that they'd really looked at things that had come before it for inspiration.

You have to obviously accept the facts that in these sorts of films, parents will willingly put their children in immense danger, bad guys will always have prepared a short video presentation to explain their motivations and just because there's destruction happening all around you does not mean you will die. It's got all the classic monster/disaster movie moments that you love to hate in it. "Movie Reality" is awesome.

If you couldn't already tell, I loved this. Much improvement from the last instalment and an entertaining action-packed addition to the monsterverse. Oscar winner? Probably not. Entertaining escapism? Most definitely. I am a little concerned about how the story will progress from here. They had plenty of scope for lots of movies after some of the things they showed in the film, but the events of KotM mean that there's little room to move with it all, we'll have to see what happens in Godzilla Vs Kong next year.

What you should do

This really deserves to be seen on the big screen. The sound and the effects combine to make some great viewing.

Movie thing you wish you could take home

If they could adapt the Orca for human use I'd be interested.
  
As Old As Time
As Old As Time
Liz Braswell | 2016 | Mystery
9
8.7 (7 Ratings)
Book Rating
Review by Disney Bookworm
I’m going to come right out and say (although you will probably be able to tell if you make it to the end of this blog) that this is, so far, my favourite book in the twisted tale series. Seriously, this is the second time I have read it and I loved it just as much as the first time. I got just as engrossed in the story and I seriously think Liz Braswell and I could be best friends!

As Old As Time is the retelling of Beauty and the Beast and opens with the familiar story of the enchantress and the young, vain prince that we all know. You can probably still picture the stained-glass scene from the original 1991 movie and the dramatic ballroom scene in the 2017 remake.
Refusing to be eclipsed by these though, Braswell follows the well-known tale with: “It was a very good story. It often entertained the woman who lay in her black hole of a room, manacled to a hard, cold bed.”
Wait! What?
There, with one fell swoop, on the second page, Braswell brings an almost gothic darkness to the fairy tale. Of course, some would say it is already dark: very few people who are cursed to become a beast are particularly jolly about the situation! However, Braswell goes one step further by both revealing the story behind the enchantress and taking us on a journey to discover the ugly truth in the present.

Liz Braswell creates a kingdom where magic and non-magic people have lived together peacefully for years but where politics and a lack of cultural understanding is threatening to tear that apart as les charmantes find themselves persecuted by les naturels. (I can’t imagine where she draws her inspiration from(!))
It is in this kingdom that we meet a young dreamer called Maurice and the enchantress Rosalind, Belle’s mother (nicknamed Rose- so clever!). Maurice is very much a younger version of the character we grew up with: loveable and devoted to his inventions. Rosalind however is much more headstrong and impulsive: even changing her appearance on a whim. Her pride is fierce and we first meet her holding her own against a large man insulting ‘her kind’, calling her unnatural and a child of the devil. The bully soon learns the error of his ways when his nose is replaced by a pig’s snout but a warning runs all the way through this tale: “magic always comes back on itself”.
Maurice and Rosalind’s life is happy and settled at first but they soon start to witness the persecution of les charmantes for themselves. Thus, when the King and Queen call on Rosalind to protect them against the advancing plague, she passionately fights for her people…only to be rejected and turned away. Maurice, always the voice of reason, convinces Rosalind to at least protect the children and servants and so it comes to pass that Rosalind later visits the young prince, on the eve of his coronation, carrying with her the simple gift of a rose.

Braswell’s character development is, as always, impressive. Belle is immediately relatable as the kooky bookworm we know and love: her story running parallel to the film until we, as readers, develop a relationship with her parents. It is then that we discover there is a slight edge to Belle. Although clearly tortured by the fact her mother cursed a 10-year-old boy, Braswell’s Belle is desperate to be adventurous and heroic like the characters in her books but soon realises an adventure is not all it is cracked up to be. Like her mother, Belle can be quite impulsive: grabbing the enchanted rose before the beast can stop her and destroying any chance of breaking the spell. However, she is also quick and cunning, tricking the wardrobe into revealing the curse’s timeline. Nevertheless, the bravery of our protagonist can never be doubted and Belle embarks on one hell of a journey to discover the truth about her family and herself.
Uniquely, within As Old As Time we slowly see side-line characters weave their way into the lives and stories of our characters. Levi and Alaric, for example, are old friends of Maurice and Rosalind and are seemingly insignificant to the story at first. However, Levi is also the godfather to Belle and the village bookseller (“If you like it that much, it’s yours!” – that guy). Alaric on the other hand has a significant link to the castle and both carry clues with them that assist Belle on her quest.
Any Beauty and the Beast tale would not be complete without LeFou and Gaston – that infamous double act- but even Gaston is ever so slightly darker than his animated counterpart. Frederic: another friend from the past and, quite frankly, odd from the start also plays a pivotal role in the story but I won’t spoil the surprise for you!



As Old As Time is true to its name: weaving two stories into its plot at different points in time: the story that we all know and the story of how that came to be. It is an ominous tale with curses, murder, creepy ivy statues and a frankly terrifying tour of the lunatic asylum.
It is not all doom and gloom however; Liz Braswell takes a very tongue-in-cheek attitude towards the infamous scenes within Beauty and the Beast: invoking a dry sense of humour into the story. From a chapter named “Be Our … Oh You Know the Rest” to a direct reference to Stockholm Syndrome: Braswell makes sure that we do not expect her novel to be a copycat, heartfelt tale with a happy ending. Belle even remarks to the Beast that hoping she would fall in love with him within a month or so was wildly unrealistic.
This is very much a novel for the cynical Disney lovers amongst us and highly deserving of its title of a twisted tale!
  
Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
2016 | Sci-Fi
Why Will Smith is a wise, wise man.
I’m catching up on a few of the big films I missed during 2016. But Roland Emmerich has a lot to answer for with this one. Twenty years after Independence Day smashed the summer box office of 1996, the aliens are back: bigger and badder than ever. Steven Hiller (Will Smith) is no longer on the scene but, to give Emmerich a little credit, he has gathered an impressive array of the original stars to return led by Hiller’s wife Jasmine (Vivica Fox), President Whitmore (Bill Pullman), Dr Okun (Brent Spiner), David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) and his dad (Judd Hirsch). The great Robert Loggia even turns up, who played the original General Grey, looking like he is about to expire (which unfortunately he did late last year, and the film is in memorial to him). All of them have weathered over the years apart from Judd Hirsch who must have a picture in his attic.

Playing the new generation (Hiller’s young son Dylan and the president’s daughter Patricia) are Jessie Usher and the comely Maika Monroe respectively, the latter having the pout of a young Jessica Alba and showing promise. Rounding off the young ‘uns, and playing an enormously irritating hunk/hero and his sidekick buddy are Jake (Liam Hemsworth – yes, younger brother of Chris) and Floyd (Nicolas Wright). And with the obvious needs of summer blockbusters to appeal to the ravenous Chinese market there is also Shanghai-born Angelababy as a young hotshot pilot and Chin Han as her uncle, moonbase commander Commander Jiang.

It’s hard to know where to start with criticism of this film. It’s like you’ve caught someone desecrating the grave of a dearly departed relative. The plot is ludicrous…. Uh oh…here comes another One Mann’s Movies Showcase Theatre….
The scene: onboard the alien craft high above central Asia
DRONE K’FAALL: “The use of the anti-gravity weapon worked a treat your Majesty. We have ripped up Shanghai and dumped in from a great height on London! Take that Queenie! All hail our weapons superiority! I take it we should just ‘rinse and repeat’ around the world to wipe them all out? ”
QUEEN ALIEN BEE: “No K’Fall. Let’s land in the Atlantic and then go fight them one-on-one with our little ships in the desert near Area 51.”
DRONE K’FALL: “B-b-b-but your Majesty, with our gravity weapon we could eliminate all threat, drill out the earth’s core and find what we came here for in perfect safety!”.
QUEEN ALIEN BEE: “No… that’s just what they’ll be expecting us to do…”
I thought the Oscar for the dumbest aliens of the year was a shoe-in for the ones who chose a similar tactic in “The 5th Wave” – but no… we have another contender for the crown. This ridiculous London-based CGI sequence – a virtual re-shoot of the ridiculous CGI sequence in Emmerich’s “2012” where John Cusack is fleeing by plane a collapsing Los Angeles – is mitigated only by Goldblum’s witty comment about them “Always going for the landmarks” – the best line in the film.

Elsewhere, the story and screenplay – by an army of writers (never a good sign) – is risible and an insult to intelligence, alien or otherwise. The ludicrous plot points go on and on…
Why on earth is the single landed alien craft from 1996 owned by an African warlord? If mankind have ‘benefited’ so much from the alien technology that must surely have been through the UN-dismantling of that ship?
There seems to be no logical connection between the “visions” (stolen from “Close Encounters”) and the alien craft. The visions might have well have been of the alien’s last shopping list (“six cans of Kraag beans; one bottle of Vollufi ale; … “);
The alien craft is big enough to span the WHOLE Atlantic when it lands, but – who would believe it? – comes to a stop with its edge in Washington JUST ENOUGH to dip the White House flag to a jaunty angle. #cringe;
The alien ship – apparently open to the elements – allows our heroic hunks to wander around without spacesuits;

Breathless… or not. Jessie T Usher and Liam Hemsworth (foreground) not dying of asphyxiation or cold.
At one point it looked like our curvaceous heroine was going to defeat the alien queen in good ol’ Wild West fashion armed only with a handgun (but no, my head could come out of my hands again);
And don’t even get me started on the opening “excitement” about propping up a collapsing supergun on the moon with a spaceship. Gerry Anderson would be spinning in his grave.
The dialogue is little better. The original “Independence Day” was probably most famous for two scenes: the impressive destruction of the White House and Bill Paxton’s ludicrously corny “We will not go quietly into the night” speech. Here trying to go one better we have not just one version of this but two with William Fichner’s General Adams chipping one in from the rough before Paxton delivers an impromptu hanger speech that is toe-curlingly excruciating.

Much of the acting is of the “I really don’t want to be here but it’s good for the pension” variety with Paxton and Goldblum going through the motions and Charlotte Gainsborough being horribly miscast as a French anthropologist running around the world on the trail of Pokemon Go characters… or symbols… or something. Only Brent Spiner and Judd Hirsch really get into their stride with likeably over-the-top performances.

Goldblum and Charlotte Gainsborough. A less likely historic romantic attachment its difficult to imagine.

If this was a standalone story it might scrape a double-Fad… but as it so horrendously sullies a classic movie experience it incurs my cinematic wrath. It might have made Roland Emmer-richer (sic)…. but my recommendation would be to get a big bag of popcorn, the original 1996 movie on DVD and enjoy. Avoid, avoid, avoid.