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LeftSideCut (3778 KP) rated Fast & Furious 9 (2021) in Movies
Jun 26, 2021
Jesus Christ, this is definitely in the running for the silliest film I've ever seen.
F9 contains everything you would expect from this franchise - big set pieces, defiant feats of physics, obnoxious music intervals, Vin Diesel inaudibly talking about family, increasingly Bond-level villains, a tiny bit of actual racing, a character who is dead not actually being dead, barbeques and Corona, and vague references to what Paul Walker's character is currently up to off screen.
It goes bigger on almost every aspect than it has before, and it's once again a mixed bag. Some of the action scenes are so, so ridiculous, especially a scene during the big finale that involves Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson (no spoilers here), but these moments are bogged down by a whole lot of nothing, providing an unnecessarily padded out runtime that makes the movie feel like a drag on more than one occasion. It overestimates how much the audience actually cares about the characters. But not to worry, at one point Vin Diesel downs a plane by throwing a truck at it, so you know, swings and roundabouts.
There's a whole heap of nonsense absolutely caking what is an enjoyable enough Fast & Furious movie. Nowhere near the best in the series, but a fun time if you can stay awake until the final third.
F9 contains everything you would expect from this franchise - big set pieces, defiant feats of physics, obnoxious music intervals, Vin Diesel inaudibly talking about family, increasingly Bond-level villains, a tiny bit of actual racing, a character who is dead not actually being dead, barbeques and Corona, and vague references to what Paul Walker's character is currently up to off screen.
It goes bigger on almost every aspect than it has before, and it's once again a mixed bag. Some of the action scenes are so, so ridiculous, especially a scene during the big finale that involves Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson (no spoilers here), but these moments are bogged down by a whole lot of nothing, providing an unnecessarily padded out runtime that makes the movie feel like a drag on more than one occasion. It overestimates how much the audience actually cares about the characters. But not to worry, at one point Vin Diesel downs a plane by throwing a truck at it, so you know, swings and roundabouts.
There's a whole heap of nonsense absolutely caking what is an enjoyable enough Fast & Furious movie. Nowhere near the best in the series, but a fun time if you can stay awake until the final third.
Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated Black and Blue (2019) in Movies
Nov 7, 2019
Having seen the film I can confidently say that this has been woefully under screened. Just one screening at my local, luckily at the sensible time of 17.20 every day. Looking at other times it's getting relegated to some late slots which is never good.
Alicia West has come back to her home town and joined the local police department after being deployed. It's not the neighbourhood she remembers, there's distrust and gangs everywhere she looks, even her old friend pretends not to know her.
Taking a double shift as a favour to her partner she goes out on patrol with Officer Brown, he's old school and not going to change his ways... they don't see eye to eye. He takes a private call and says they need to go on a call so he cn meet a CI. He orders her to stay in the car and she waits suspiciously until two shots ring out. She enters the building to investigate, body cam turned on, and comes across a group of police officers who have executed members of a local gang. Thinking on instinct they shoot at her which allows her to escape. She needs to get the footage uploaded to expose the corruption but between her and the station are corrupt police officers and a community that hates cops. Who can she trust?
I found Black And Blue to be a really enjoyable. The action was tense and the story had a consistent pace all the way through and I felt really gripped as I watched it. My only disappointment was that they gave it sickly sweet ending. It brought the story full circle for West but it was so out of place with what we'd already seen. It wasn't necessary and I feel like it detracted from the effort everything else put in.
Naomie Harris is our lead and she handles the role like a seasoned pro. She brings across the optimism of West's character and you can see the intrigue and sadness in her as she realises just how bad things have become in her neighbourhood. Harris adapts well to each scenario and at times you could feel a genuine sense of fear as she's being pursued.
Frank Grillo plays Terry Malone, the leader of our group of corrupt cops. He's a great bit of casting. Towards the end I feel like the character deviates a little from what I might have expected but the performance was so good to watch that I wasn't too bothered by that.
Another face you'll recognise is Mike Colter as Darius, Darius is the head of one of the local gangs and during the course of the story he's also hot on West's heals. He's a very dark character and Colter captures that well, there's a particularly good scene with West where we're preparing for the finale of the film and the way he changes in his split second decisions really elevates the moment.
The last actor I'll mention is Tyrese Gibson as Milo, Milo brings a much softer side to the whole story, he's not about the violence and I think that Gibson had the perfect demeanour for this role. We get some much needed respite from the heavy tension and action with his scenes. I feel like there's some back story we needed to know for him though, he needed some more explaining and that was just missing in everything we saw.
Black And Blue has a strong message about society divided by hate, I'm not the right person to tell ou its accuracy. There are stereotypes knocking around all over the place but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. The film focused on the corruption in the neighbourhood and that's what you see, you wouldn't be getting other walks of life so it fits the idea perfectly.
I genuinely enjoyed watching this and the film kept me on the edge of my seat, this it something I'll look forward to watching again.
What you should do
If you like crime drama then I think you'll enjoy this, there's good action and great characters.
Movie thing you wish you could take home
Some of West's kickass moves and super human will to survive.
Alicia West has come back to her home town and joined the local police department after being deployed. It's not the neighbourhood she remembers, there's distrust and gangs everywhere she looks, even her old friend pretends not to know her.
Taking a double shift as a favour to her partner she goes out on patrol with Officer Brown, he's old school and not going to change his ways... they don't see eye to eye. He takes a private call and says they need to go on a call so he cn meet a CI. He orders her to stay in the car and she waits suspiciously until two shots ring out. She enters the building to investigate, body cam turned on, and comes across a group of police officers who have executed members of a local gang. Thinking on instinct they shoot at her which allows her to escape. She needs to get the footage uploaded to expose the corruption but between her and the station are corrupt police officers and a community that hates cops. Who can she trust?
I found Black And Blue to be a really enjoyable. The action was tense and the story had a consistent pace all the way through and I felt really gripped as I watched it. My only disappointment was that they gave it sickly sweet ending. It brought the story full circle for West but it was so out of place with what we'd already seen. It wasn't necessary and I feel like it detracted from the effort everything else put in.
Naomie Harris is our lead and she handles the role like a seasoned pro. She brings across the optimism of West's character and you can see the intrigue and sadness in her as she realises just how bad things have become in her neighbourhood. Harris adapts well to each scenario and at times you could feel a genuine sense of fear as she's being pursued.
Frank Grillo plays Terry Malone, the leader of our group of corrupt cops. He's a great bit of casting. Towards the end I feel like the character deviates a little from what I might have expected but the performance was so good to watch that I wasn't too bothered by that.
Another face you'll recognise is Mike Colter as Darius, Darius is the head of one of the local gangs and during the course of the story he's also hot on West's heals. He's a very dark character and Colter captures that well, there's a particularly good scene with West where we're preparing for the finale of the film and the way he changes in his split second decisions really elevates the moment.
The last actor I'll mention is Tyrese Gibson as Milo, Milo brings a much softer side to the whole story, he's not about the violence and I think that Gibson had the perfect demeanour for this role. We get some much needed respite from the heavy tension and action with his scenes. I feel like there's some back story we needed to know for him though, he needed some more explaining and that was just missing in everything we saw.
Black And Blue has a strong message about society divided by hate, I'm not the right person to tell ou its accuracy. There are stereotypes knocking around all over the place but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. The film focused on the corruption in the neighbourhood and that's what you see, you wouldn't be getting other walks of life so it fits the idea perfectly.
I genuinely enjoyed watching this and the film kept me on the edge of my seat, this it something I'll look forward to watching again.
What you should do
If you like crime drama then I think you'll enjoy this, there's good action and great characters.
Movie thing you wish you could take home
Some of West's kickass moves and super human will to survive.
Movie Metropolis (309 KP) rated Furious 7 (2015) in Movies
Jun 11, 2019
A Guilty Pleasure
Everyone needs a guilty pleasure and since 2001, audiences from across the globe have flocked to see The Fast & Furious franchise in all its over-the-top glory.
However, filming on the latest instalment, Fast & Furious 7, was delayed after the tragic death of lead actor Paul Walker, so does his untimely passing hurt the resulting movie?
Fast 7 continues after the events of Tokyo Drift and features the usual loveable rogues returning in their respective roles, including a beefed up part for Jason Statham who made a cameo in the sixth film.
Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Lucas Black and Ludacris all reprise their characters as they do battle against Statham’s villain, Deckard Shaw, who fans will remember is the brother of Owen Shaw from Fast 6.
The premise remains as simple as in previous instalments but continues the series’ trend for over-the-top action pieces that border on the ridiculous. Despite this, Fast 7 is the most watchable of the entire franchise with stunning locations, brilliant practical effects and surprising emotional heft.
James Wan directs what looks like a tourist information film for LA, Abu Dhabi and Tokyo but manages to keep the story flowing throughout the slightly overlong 137 minute running time. The fast cars and beautiful women are thrown at the audience thick and fast and the brakes aren’t applied until ten minutes before the end credits roll.
Thankfully, this is exactly what the series has become known for and the gorgeous settings are brilliantly juxtaposed with action-packed sequences including the much marketed mountain plane drop in Azerbaijan that is an absolute wonder to behold despite its use in the film’s trailers.
Vin Diesel’s Dom is what has grounded the series over the last 14 years but here it is Paul Walker’s Brian O’Conner that we find the most intriguing and it’s really no surprise. Ever since his death, fans were worried how tasteful the film would be, but there is no need to worry.
Despite the action, the fights and the sunshine, Fast 7 manages to provide a rollercoaster of emotion as the cameras linger on Walker’s face or put him at the forefront of each scene. As the final 10 minutes approach it’s clear that the movie is going to end on a deeply gut-wrenching tribute to him and there were a few tears in the cinema.
Nevertheless, it’s obvious a film that focuses on supercars isn’t going to have much of a plot but director James Wan, who comes to the franchise for the first time, should be commended for fashioning a half-coherent story despite going into the production with numerous delays and seven films in.
Overall, Fast 7 is a great slice of popcorn entertainment and should definitely rank high up as one of the better films in the series. However, the tragic circumstances surrounding its production make it so much more.
Yes it won’t be winning any awards for originality or acting prowess, but its emotional resonance means it’s worth a watch for fans of the series and newcomers alike.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2015/04/05/a-guilty-pleasure-fast-furious-7-review/
However, filming on the latest instalment, Fast & Furious 7, was delayed after the tragic death of lead actor Paul Walker, so does his untimely passing hurt the resulting movie?
Fast 7 continues after the events of Tokyo Drift and features the usual loveable rogues returning in their respective roles, including a beefed up part for Jason Statham who made a cameo in the sixth film.
Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Lucas Black and Ludacris all reprise their characters as they do battle against Statham’s villain, Deckard Shaw, who fans will remember is the brother of Owen Shaw from Fast 6.
The premise remains as simple as in previous instalments but continues the series’ trend for over-the-top action pieces that border on the ridiculous. Despite this, Fast 7 is the most watchable of the entire franchise with stunning locations, brilliant practical effects and surprising emotional heft.
James Wan directs what looks like a tourist information film for LA, Abu Dhabi and Tokyo but manages to keep the story flowing throughout the slightly overlong 137 minute running time. The fast cars and beautiful women are thrown at the audience thick and fast and the brakes aren’t applied until ten minutes before the end credits roll.
Thankfully, this is exactly what the series has become known for and the gorgeous settings are brilliantly juxtaposed with action-packed sequences including the much marketed mountain plane drop in Azerbaijan that is an absolute wonder to behold despite its use in the film’s trailers.
Vin Diesel’s Dom is what has grounded the series over the last 14 years but here it is Paul Walker’s Brian O’Conner that we find the most intriguing and it’s really no surprise. Ever since his death, fans were worried how tasteful the film would be, but there is no need to worry.
Despite the action, the fights and the sunshine, Fast 7 manages to provide a rollercoaster of emotion as the cameras linger on Walker’s face or put him at the forefront of each scene. As the final 10 minutes approach it’s clear that the movie is going to end on a deeply gut-wrenching tribute to him and there were a few tears in the cinema.
Nevertheless, it’s obvious a film that focuses on supercars isn’t going to have much of a plot but director James Wan, who comes to the franchise for the first time, should be commended for fashioning a half-coherent story despite going into the production with numerous delays and seven films in.
Overall, Fast 7 is a great slice of popcorn entertainment and should definitely rank high up as one of the better films in the series. However, the tragic circumstances surrounding its production make it so much more.
Yes it won’t be winning any awards for originality or acting prowess, but its emotional resonance means it’s worth a watch for fans of the series and newcomers alike.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2015/04/05/a-guilty-pleasure-fast-furious-7-review/
Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated Fast & Furious 6 (2013) in Movies
Feb 22, 2020
Flying...Headbutt
The gang is back in Fast & Furious 6 to take down a group of criminals led by someone that was once their own…I gotta tell you, after I watched this movie, my inner me clapped. Not because this was a phenomenal movie, but because director Justin Lin got a legit grasp on what this franchise is supposed to be. Sure it’s action and car chases, rinse and repeat, but I think that was taken way too seriously in the previous five movies. I mean, serious to the point of being flat-out obnoxious. In this sixth installment, Lin embraces the craziness of it all and plays on it, makes it bigger and more ridiculous at times. Seeing this put a smile on my face and made me think this franchise, with however many movies it has left, just might have some legs afterall. Clearly I feel some kind of way as this is the longest Intro I’ve written in a long time.
Acting: 10
Beginning: 6
If you’ve seen one of these beginnings, you’ve seen them all. There’s not much new under the sun here but it’s definitely better than average. I’ve seen worse starts, I’ll just say that.
Characters: 10
Ok, so these guys are not going to wow you with their exponential growth throughout the movie, but they’re still fun characters. Dom, Letty, Brian…when you see them all together, you get a real sense of what they are going for: really creating a family-like atmosphere. These guys have been through hell and back together and you can’t help but feel connected to them at this sixth installment. Roman (Tyrese Gibson) is just the best. His comedic timing can be everything in a scene and he’s a blast to watch. His character is literally there for a charm effect and you know what? It works.
Cinematography/Visuals: 9
Conflict: 8
Entertainment Value: 7
Here’s what makes this movie entertaining: The absolute ridiculousness of it all. After seeing Dom singlehandedly lift a car and snidely joke about it, nothing surprises me anymore about these movies. Also two words for you: Flying Headbutt. You’ll thank me later.
Memorability: 7
As always, there are some extremely fun car chases scattered throughout the movie, including one involving a big airplane stunt. Not bad as action movies go. And also: Flying Headbutt.
Pace: 7
Plot: 4
These stories will never be nominated for any type of major awards, that’s no secret. The plans are completely improbable, the bad guys usually over-the-top ridiculous, and the story is a rollercoaster of keeping things interesting. And why the hell does the GOVERNMENT keep calling on these clowns to save the world? Seriously! Just put your expectations aside of finding any plausible story and just enjoy the damn movie.
Resolution: 10
Once the Flying Headbutt (yes, that’s my third mention) happens, it’s all downhill from there. However, the movie does wrap nicely and gives me a sense of completion for the story. It ended with me thinking, “You know, I could probably stomach one more of these.”
Overall: 78
Based on my previous experience with this franchise, I was really surprised by my level of enjoyment for Fast & Furious 6. It’s not a movie I would put on if I had multiple choices, but it’s a movie I could have on in the background as I’m working on my scripts. This franchise is growing…even if its characters aren’t.
Acting: 10
Beginning: 6
If you’ve seen one of these beginnings, you’ve seen them all. There’s not much new under the sun here but it’s definitely better than average. I’ve seen worse starts, I’ll just say that.
Characters: 10
Ok, so these guys are not going to wow you with their exponential growth throughout the movie, but they’re still fun characters. Dom, Letty, Brian…when you see them all together, you get a real sense of what they are going for: really creating a family-like atmosphere. These guys have been through hell and back together and you can’t help but feel connected to them at this sixth installment. Roman (Tyrese Gibson) is just the best. His comedic timing can be everything in a scene and he’s a blast to watch. His character is literally there for a charm effect and you know what? It works.
Cinematography/Visuals: 9
Conflict: 8
Entertainment Value: 7
Here’s what makes this movie entertaining: The absolute ridiculousness of it all. After seeing Dom singlehandedly lift a car and snidely joke about it, nothing surprises me anymore about these movies. Also two words for you: Flying Headbutt. You’ll thank me later.
Memorability: 7
As always, there are some extremely fun car chases scattered throughout the movie, including one involving a big airplane stunt. Not bad as action movies go. And also: Flying Headbutt.
Pace: 7
Plot: 4
These stories will never be nominated for any type of major awards, that’s no secret. The plans are completely improbable, the bad guys usually over-the-top ridiculous, and the story is a rollercoaster of keeping things interesting. And why the hell does the GOVERNMENT keep calling on these clowns to save the world? Seriously! Just put your expectations aside of finding any plausible story and just enjoy the damn movie.
Resolution: 10
Once the Flying Headbutt (yes, that’s my third mention) happens, it’s all downhill from there. However, the movie does wrap nicely and gives me a sense of completion for the story. It ended with me thinking, “You know, I could probably stomach one more of these.”
Overall: 78
Based on my previous experience with this franchise, I was really surprised by my level of enjoyment for Fast & Furious 6. It’s not a movie I would put on if I had multiple choices, but it’s a movie I could have on in the background as I’m working on my scripts. This franchise is growing…even if its characters aren’t.
BankofMarquis (1832 KP) rated Fast & Furious 9 (2021) in Movies
Jul 24, 2021
Enjoyable...enough
If you have any interest in checking out F9:THE FAST SAGA, then you have seen at least 1 (if not more) of the other 9 films in this series - and you pretty much know what to expect.
And this film delivers on that expectation - no more, no less.
Director Justin Lin - a veteran of these films - knows what needs to happen in this series. So we get fast cars, macho men, kick-ass women, super villains and over-the-top stunts and situations. All brought to us with a wink and a shrug. Unapologetic about the absurdities that we are viewing (not to spoil, but I don’t think magnets really work the way they work in this film) and “upping the ante” at every turn.
This film largely delivers…if not spectacularly. The action sequences (which is really why we watch these films) are “good enough”. Nothing really new here, but I caught myself cackling at the events on the screen from time to time.
The “family” is back together and Vin Diesel & Michelle Rodriguez are the pseudo Mom and Dad of this ragtag group of heroes that include the smart one (Game Of Thrones’ Nathalie Emanuel) and the wise guys (Chris “Ludicrous” Bridges and Tyrese Gibson) - who know exactly what type of film they are making and what their roles in this film are as well as the “emotional center”, Jordana Brewster. All of these deliver their wooden lines with gritty resolve while clenching their jaws during their close-ups during the action scenes.
There also is a boatload of cameos from veterans of previous Fast and Furious films from the likes of Kurt Russell, Helen Mirren, Lucas Black, Shea Wigham and Charlize Theron as well as brief appearances by “newcomers” like Michael Rooker and Cardi B. They all join in on the fun at the appropriate level and look like they are having a good time.
The biggest disappointment for me was John Cena as the main villain in this piece. He just wasn’t “villainous” enough and came off pretty generic and “meh” - never a good thing for a bad guy in these types of films.
Oh…and there is a “surprise return” by a presumably thought dead character, that is no surprise at all, since his face is shown prominently in the advertisements for this film. I won’t spoil it for you here, but he does bring some needed energy to this film. Which leads me to speculate that Gal Gadot will probably show up in the next film (her character was killed off many Fast and Furious films ago when she started becoming a SuperStar).
Ultimately, what is missing from F9 is some “fun energy”. Something that…oh…a good villain…or someone like…Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson would bring. But, alas, “The Rock” and Vin Diesel did not get along in their previous outings together, so we will need to limp along with what we have.
Which is what the 10th film in this Universe ultimately does - limp along just good enough to be enjoyable, but not more than that, which makes F9 neither Fast nor Furious.
Letter Grade: B
7 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
And this film delivers on that expectation - no more, no less.
Director Justin Lin - a veteran of these films - knows what needs to happen in this series. So we get fast cars, macho men, kick-ass women, super villains and over-the-top stunts and situations. All brought to us with a wink and a shrug. Unapologetic about the absurdities that we are viewing (not to spoil, but I don’t think magnets really work the way they work in this film) and “upping the ante” at every turn.
This film largely delivers…if not spectacularly. The action sequences (which is really why we watch these films) are “good enough”. Nothing really new here, but I caught myself cackling at the events on the screen from time to time.
The “family” is back together and Vin Diesel & Michelle Rodriguez are the pseudo Mom and Dad of this ragtag group of heroes that include the smart one (Game Of Thrones’ Nathalie Emanuel) and the wise guys (Chris “Ludicrous” Bridges and Tyrese Gibson) - who know exactly what type of film they are making and what their roles in this film are as well as the “emotional center”, Jordana Brewster. All of these deliver their wooden lines with gritty resolve while clenching their jaws during their close-ups during the action scenes.
There also is a boatload of cameos from veterans of previous Fast and Furious films from the likes of Kurt Russell, Helen Mirren, Lucas Black, Shea Wigham and Charlize Theron as well as brief appearances by “newcomers” like Michael Rooker and Cardi B. They all join in on the fun at the appropriate level and look like they are having a good time.
The biggest disappointment for me was John Cena as the main villain in this piece. He just wasn’t “villainous” enough and came off pretty generic and “meh” - never a good thing for a bad guy in these types of films.
Oh…and there is a “surprise return” by a presumably thought dead character, that is no surprise at all, since his face is shown prominently in the advertisements for this film. I won’t spoil it for you here, but he does bring some needed energy to this film. Which leads me to speculate that Gal Gadot will probably show up in the next film (her character was killed off many Fast and Furious films ago when she started becoming a SuperStar).
Ultimately, what is missing from F9 is some “fun energy”. Something that…oh…a good villain…or someone like…Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson would bring. But, alas, “The Rock” and Vin Diesel did not get along in their previous outings together, so we will need to limp along with what we have.
Which is what the 10th film in this Universe ultimately does - limp along just good enough to be enjoyable, but not more than that, which makes F9 neither Fast nor Furious.
Letter Grade: B
7 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
BankofMarquis (1832 KP) rated Morbius (2022) in Movies
Jul 7, 2022
It's Not Bad...It's Stupid
“It’s not as bad as you heard”, is certainly the very definition of damning something with faint praise, but that is exactly the right thing to say about the 2022 Sony Comic Book Film Adaptation of MORBIUS.
Starring Jared Leto, MORBIUS follows the origin story - and first adventure - of Spiderman villain Morbius who, inexplicably, becomes the hero in this story.
While, ultimately, not a good film, there are some good things happening here, so let’s begin there.
The lead performance by Jared Leto as Dr. Michael Morbius is - very surprisingly - somewhat grounded in reality. Leto is not one to be subtle in his character choices (see HOUSE OF GUCCI) but in this one, he is (somewhat) reserved. It would have been easy for Leto to go over the top with this character, but he wisely chooses the opposite route…and it works. The always watchable Jared Harris (CHERNOBYL) is on-board in the “mentor” role while Tyrese Gibson and Al Madrigal bring some humor to the proceedings as “Agents” who are chasing after Morbius. The rest of the cast are benign - neither adding nor detracting from the proceedings - with the exception of Matt Smith (LAST NIGHT IN SOHO) who’s character is so badly written that he flounders under the weight of the absurdity of what his character is tasked with.
Trying to overcome the ridiculousness of the story is the Direction by Daniel Espinosa (the Denzel Washington action flick SAFE HOUSE). He moves the action along quickly, never really lingering on the absurdities of the events going on (and there are PLENTY of absurdities to avoid - more on that later) and Espinosa actually has an artistic vision of what he wanted to accomplish visually in this comic-book film, freezing many frames when the picture on the screen looked like a page from a graphic novel. It’s a smart choice for a film that can only be described as dumb.
And dumb this film is. I kept feeling any sense of common sense and reality slip away as this film - written by Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless - quickly devolved into the absurd and ridiculous. One does have to suspend belief when watching Comic Book films (how else are we going to believe that a man can turn into a human spider) but in this case, the suspension is mighty - it is one of the dumbest films ever made (in terms of plot and situations) and that is saying something. The makers of this film really stretch the term “go with me here” as Morbius is constantly chasing and evolving and being chased in the most absurd ways throughout this film with special effects that add to the absurdity of the proceedings. To be fair, this film never falls into the “so bad it’s good” range, it hovers just above that line.
The end credits scenes start to setup a “Sinister Six” Spiderman film, so there is some hope for this - it would be interesting to see Leto’s Morbius team up with some other Spiderman villains (who’s names would be a spoiler), provided the script is better. There’s no way that it can be worse.
MORBIUS is not a bad film - it just will insult your intelligence.
Letter Grade: C
4 Stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
Starring Jared Leto, MORBIUS follows the origin story - and first adventure - of Spiderman villain Morbius who, inexplicably, becomes the hero in this story.
While, ultimately, not a good film, there are some good things happening here, so let’s begin there.
The lead performance by Jared Leto as Dr. Michael Morbius is - very surprisingly - somewhat grounded in reality. Leto is not one to be subtle in his character choices (see HOUSE OF GUCCI) but in this one, he is (somewhat) reserved. It would have been easy for Leto to go over the top with this character, but he wisely chooses the opposite route…and it works. The always watchable Jared Harris (CHERNOBYL) is on-board in the “mentor” role while Tyrese Gibson and Al Madrigal bring some humor to the proceedings as “Agents” who are chasing after Morbius. The rest of the cast are benign - neither adding nor detracting from the proceedings - with the exception of Matt Smith (LAST NIGHT IN SOHO) who’s character is so badly written that he flounders under the weight of the absurdity of what his character is tasked with.
Trying to overcome the ridiculousness of the story is the Direction by Daniel Espinosa (the Denzel Washington action flick SAFE HOUSE). He moves the action along quickly, never really lingering on the absurdities of the events going on (and there are PLENTY of absurdities to avoid - more on that later) and Espinosa actually has an artistic vision of what he wanted to accomplish visually in this comic-book film, freezing many frames when the picture on the screen looked like a page from a graphic novel. It’s a smart choice for a film that can only be described as dumb.
And dumb this film is. I kept feeling any sense of common sense and reality slip away as this film - written by Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless - quickly devolved into the absurd and ridiculous. One does have to suspend belief when watching Comic Book films (how else are we going to believe that a man can turn into a human spider) but in this case, the suspension is mighty - it is one of the dumbest films ever made (in terms of plot and situations) and that is saying something. The makers of this film really stretch the term “go with me here” as Morbius is constantly chasing and evolving and being chased in the most absurd ways throughout this film with special effects that add to the absurdity of the proceedings. To be fair, this film never falls into the “so bad it’s good” range, it hovers just above that line.
The end credits scenes start to setup a “Sinister Six” Spiderman film, so there is some hope for this - it would be interesting to see Leto’s Morbius team up with some other Spiderman villains (who’s names would be a spoiler), provided the script is better. There’s no way that it can be worse.
MORBIUS is not a bad film - it just will insult your intelligence.
Letter Grade: C
4 Stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Fast & Furious 9 (2021) in Movies
Jun 24, 2021
Ridiculous storyline (1 more)
Improbable action
Magnetic bulls**t that will no doubt attract Fast-fans
Positives:
- Glossy locations, fast cars and beautiful women: the usual Fast stuff.
- When the stunts are "real", they are good and exciting. But it's often difficult to tell when there's been a 'computer-assist'.
Negatives:
- I complained in my review for "The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard" about it having a childish and ludicrous plot. This movie makes that look like bl***y Shakespeare! There's an attempt to add a smidgen of family tension into the mix, based on Dom's childhood trauma. But aside from that element, the 'story' (I use the term in its loosest possible sense) bounces (without any rational logic most of the time) from ludicrous situation to ludicrous situation without pause. Most of these are linked by Ramsey (the very British Nathalie Emmanuel) stating a random fact such as "Well, now he's going to need to launch a satellite". And off we go again. (That particular crazy story arc even sees them 'doing a Musk' and flying a car into space: I kid you not!)
- It's not even the 'big stuff' that's unbelievable. Everywhere you look, there are inconsistencies and things that don't make sense.
-- Tej (played by Ludicris - an appropriate name here) takes dodging a brigade worth of machine gun bullets to nonsensical limits.
-- Generally, the cast gets blasted, dropped, crashed, burned, and otherwise put through more fatal situations than you can imagine, only to walk out without a scratch.
-- And if you can show me a single delivery lorry in Edinburgh that has an automatic gearbox, I'll be amazed!
- At one point, Roman (Tyrese Gibson) mutters some line about "Trusting in the physics and the numbers". Well, let me tell you, it's like no physics that I studied on this planet. A lot of the set pieces involve huge magnets attached to trucks and cars. Now - correct me if I'm wrong - but if you turn a massive magnet on in a truck then as well as ripping the car you are chasing through the adjacent building (as if), you will also force the truck to be pulled into that building too. OK, perhaps not as much.... but the lorry ain't going to stay in its driving lane, I know that much! And magnets attract metal - they don't repel it!
- At 145 minutes, this is well over 2 hours of my life I will never get back.
Summary Thoughts on "F9": It's just such a formulaic and contrived piece of fluff that it makes me cross that they can spend $200,000 on a movie and not make it better. Part of this involves the lazy use of CGI to create obviously nonsensical stunts that devalue true action films. Yes, the stunt team was busy, and impressive, here - but always going for "one better" has led to extensive use of CGI. That's why I liked the 2014 'knock-off' film "Need for Speed" - - at least they did all their stunts old-school, in camera, and not in the computer.
But whatever I say here, this movie will unfortunately get its audience. At the time of writing, it's already made nearly $300K at the box office on its $200K budget. Which means there will inevitably be an F10, no doubt involving a driving battle on the planet Mars. Sigh.
By the way, before you dive for the exits to relieve your bladder (it is 145 minutes after all), there is a mid-credits scene that re-introduces an old favourite.
(For the full graphical review, please check out the One Mann's Movies review here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2021/06/24/f9-magnetic-bullst-that-will-no-doubt-attract-fast-fans/. Thanks).
- Glossy locations, fast cars and beautiful women: the usual Fast stuff.
- When the stunts are "real", they are good and exciting. But it's often difficult to tell when there's been a 'computer-assist'.
Negatives:
- I complained in my review for "The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard" about it having a childish and ludicrous plot. This movie makes that look like bl***y Shakespeare! There's an attempt to add a smidgen of family tension into the mix, based on Dom's childhood trauma. But aside from that element, the 'story' (I use the term in its loosest possible sense) bounces (without any rational logic most of the time) from ludicrous situation to ludicrous situation without pause. Most of these are linked by Ramsey (the very British Nathalie Emmanuel) stating a random fact such as "Well, now he's going to need to launch a satellite". And off we go again. (That particular crazy story arc even sees them 'doing a Musk' and flying a car into space: I kid you not!)
- It's not even the 'big stuff' that's unbelievable. Everywhere you look, there are inconsistencies and things that don't make sense.
-- Tej (played by Ludicris - an appropriate name here) takes dodging a brigade worth of machine gun bullets to nonsensical limits.
-- Generally, the cast gets blasted, dropped, crashed, burned, and otherwise put through more fatal situations than you can imagine, only to walk out without a scratch.
-- And if you can show me a single delivery lorry in Edinburgh that has an automatic gearbox, I'll be amazed!
- At one point, Roman (Tyrese Gibson) mutters some line about "Trusting in the physics and the numbers". Well, let me tell you, it's like no physics that I studied on this planet. A lot of the set pieces involve huge magnets attached to trucks and cars. Now - correct me if I'm wrong - but if you turn a massive magnet on in a truck then as well as ripping the car you are chasing through the adjacent building (as if), you will also force the truck to be pulled into that building too. OK, perhaps not as much.... but the lorry ain't going to stay in its driving lane, I know that much! And magnets attract metal - they don't repel it!
- At 145 minutes, this is well over 2 hours of my life I will never get back.
Summary Thoughts on "F9": It's just such a formulaic and contrived piece of fluff that it makes me cross that they can spend $200,000 on a movie and not make it better. Part of this involves the lazy use of CGI to create obviously nonsensical stunts that devalue true action films. Yes, the stunt team was busy, and impressive, here - but always going for "one better" has led to extensive use of CGI. That's why I liked the 2014 'knock-off' film "Need for Speed" - - at least they did all their stunts old-school, in camera, and not in the computer.
But whatever I say here, this movie will unfortunately get its audience. At the time of writing, it's already made nearly $300K at the box office on its $200K budget. Which means there will inevitably be an F10, no doubt involving a driving battle on the planet Mars. Sigh.
By the way, before you dive for the exits to relieve your bladder (it is 145 minutes after all), there is a mid-credits scene that re-introduces an old favourite.
(For the full graphical review, please check out the One Mann's Movies review here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2021/06/24/f9-magnetic-bullst-that-will-no-doubt-attract-fast-fans/. Thanks).
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated The Fate of the Furious (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
Blood is thicker than Diesel.
All work and no play makes bob-the-movie-man a tardy reviewer. Still, what better way to break the fast than with “Fast and Furious 8” (aka “The Fate of the Furious”)?
Well, quite a lot of things actually!
Now, I have a confession to make (and I know for some this will be the equivalent of an appalling statement like “I’ve never seen Star Wars”). I have actually never ever seen Fast and Furious 1 through 7! (If it’s any mitigation to this cinematic crime, I did see the F-and-F wannabe “Need for Speed“).
So I was going to be completely lost with the “plot” right? Well actually, no. It was pretty easy to jump in and follow as a piece of popcorn nonsense.
The M25 water main burst was a real bitch for the Monday morning rush-hour.
For nonsense it is (hence the “rabbit ears” round the word “plot” above). The story isn’t just a bit far-fetched. It’s bat-shit crazy where the bat in question has downed a questionable vindaloo two hours earlier!
Dom (Vin Diesel) has turned on his “family”, including his squeeze, the lovely Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), and Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson, “San Andreas“), to team with the above-the-law (and above the clouds) cyber-super-terrorist Cipher (Charlize Theron, “Mad Max: Fury Road“). They have teamed up, apparently, for no other reason than to allow Cipher to ‘kick some global ass’ with a nuclear threat. But given his caring and sharing side, why the sudden betrayal of his nearest and dearest by Dom?
Ice Queen Metallica fan Theron, showing off her hardware.
Where do you begin with the nonsensical story? Jumping from Cuba (with some admittedly fun scenes, but shamelessly objectifying scantily-clad women) via Berlin and New York to the icy wastes of Siberia, it’s just an excuse to show fast cars doing ludicrously unlikely things. There is zero logic within any of the script. Here are just a handful of examples:
the team know (through enormous jumps of speculation) to be present at a particular location in the world and at exactly the time that Dom is there (arrive, look through binoculars, “Oh, there he is”!);
all cars can be automatically hijacked and remotely driven (who knew), but NOT those of the team (obviously);
fast cars/tanks/etc can be magicked from New York to Siberia (wot, no Hertz Siberia available?);
Russian nuclear codes are stolen, so obviously they can’t be changed?
a nuclear submarine is out of the water on wooden blocks, but spin the propeller really REALLY fast and it can suddenly be sailing away.
Muscle for muscle it never looked like being a fair fight.
I appreciate I am being enormously po-faced about this, and this is designed as pure escapism. But is there REALLY any need for this to be such mindless escapism? The director (Gary Gray, “The Italian Job”) and writer (Chris Morgan, responsible for parts 6 and 7) should credit their audience with rather more in the way of intelligence.
Diesel and Johnson are never going to set the acting ablaze, but Rodriquez (“Lost”) is as watchable as ever. Theron has fun with her villainy and the supporting turns by Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris are enjoyable. Nathalie Emmanuel though as Ramsey seems as uncomfortable with her “sexy English” stereotype as she should be.
A long way from Brookside. Nathalie Emmanuel uncomfortable as “the sexy one”.
Luke Evans (“The Hobbit“), Kurt Russell (“Deepwater Horizon“) and Helen Mirren (“Eye in the Sky“) turn up in entertaining but underused cameos, but it is Jason Statham as Deckard that has the most fun in the whole film, and his scenes – done largely for comic effect – are the best part of the movie. (But “math” Jason? “MATH”?? I hope your old maths teacher back in London doesn’t get to see this film).
Parking enforcement by the City Council was getting more and more stringent.
If you’re willing to park your brain at the door for two hours then it has some fun moments. But I felt the damage to my IQ might not have been worth the risk, and this really didn’t fill my cinematic tank.
Well, quite a lot of things actually!
Now, I have a confession to make (and I know for some this will be the equivalent of an appalling statement like “I’ve never seen Star Wars”). I have actually never ever seen Fast and Furious 1 through 7! (If it’s any mitigation to this cinematic crime, I did see the F-and-F wannabe “Need for Speed“).
So I was going to be completely lost with the “plot” right? Well actually, no. It was pretty easy to jump in and follow as a piece of popcorn nonsense.
The M25 water main burst was a real bitch for the Monday morning rush-hour.
For nonsense it is (hence the “rabbit ears” round the word “plot” above). The story isn’t just a bit far-fetched. It’s bat-shit crazy where the bat in question has downed a questionable vindaloo two hours earlier!
Dom (Vin Diesel) has turned on his “family”, including his squeeze, the lovely Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), and Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson, “San Andreas“), to team with the above-the-law (and above the clouds) cyber-super-terrorist Cipher (Charlize Theron, “Mad Max: Fury Road“). They have teamed up, apparently, for no other reason than to allow Cipher to ‘kick some global ass’ with a nuclear threat. But given his caring and sharing side, why the sudden betrayal of his nearest and dearest by Dom?
Ice Queen Metallica fan Theron, showing off her hardware.
Where do you begin with the nonsensical story? Jumping from Cuba (with some admittedly fun scenes, but shamelessly objectifying scantily-clad women) via Berlin and New York to the icy wastes of Siberia, it’s just an excuse to show fast cars doing ludicrously unlikely things. There is zero logic within any of the script. Here are just a handful of examples:
the team know (through enormous jumps of speculation) to be present at a particular location in the world and at exactly the time that Dom is there (arrive, look through binoculars, “Oh, there he is”!);
all cars can be automatically hijacked and remotely driven (who knew), but NOT those of the team (obviously);
fast cars/tanks/etc can be magicked from New York to Siberia (wot, no Hertz Siberia available?);
Russian nuclear codes are stolen, so obviously they can’t be changed?
a nuclear submarine is out of the water on wooden blocks, but spin the propeller really REALLY fast and it can suddenly be sailing away.
Muscle for muscle it never looked like being a fair fight.
I appreciate I am being enormously po-faced about this, and this is designed as pure escapism. But is there REALLY any need for this to be such mindless escapism? The director (Gary Gray, “The Italian Job”) and writer (Chris Morgan, responsible for parts 6 and 7) should credit their audience with rather more in the way of intelligence.
Diesel and Johnson are never going to set the acting ablaze, but Rodriquez (“Lost”) is as watchable as ever. Theron has fun with her villainy and the supporting turns by Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris are enjoyable. Nathalie Emmanuel though as Ramsey seems as uncomfortable with her “sexy English” stereotype as she should be.
A long way from Brookside. Nathalie Emmanuel uncomfortable as “the sexy one”.
Luke Evans (“The Hobbit“), Kurt Russell (“Deepwater Horizon“) and Helen Mirren (“Eye in the Sky“) turn up in entertaining but underused cameos, but it is Jason Statham as Deckard that has the most fun in the whole film, and his scenes – done largely for comic effect – are the best part of the movie. (But “math” Jason? “MATH”?? I hope your old maths teacher back in London doesn’t get to see this film).
Parking enforcement by the City Council was getting more and more stringent.
If you’re willing to park your brain at the door for two hours then it has some fun moments. But I felt the damage to my IQ might not have been worth the risk, and this really didn’t fill my cinematic tank.
Gareth von Kallenbach (971 KP) rated Death Race (2008) in Movies
Aug 14, 2019
In 1975, legendary B-movie producer Roger Corman showed audiences a look at the near future with a biting film that deftly blended action and political commentary and satire. The film was “Death Race 2000” and starred David Carradine and featured a pre-“Rocky” Sylvester Stallone as bitter rivals in a brutal cross country race where finishing first was second only to the amount of death and carnage a driver left in their wake.
The film became a cult hit, and paved the way for films such as “Rollerball”, “Arena”, and countless other films that featured bloodlust sporting events for the masses a la Rome in the age of gladiators at the coliseum. Thirty-three years later, audiences are given the new and upgraded “Death Race” which benefits from a bigger budget with more carnage than the original film that inspired it ever dreamed of.
The film opens with an eerie warning of today’s troubled economic times, stating that the U.S.
economy collapses in 2012 and record unemployment and crime sweep the nation. With prisons overcrowded, corporations run correctional facilities for a profit and soon offer caged matches between inmates for the viewing pleasure of the nation. At first the matches are a huge success but soon lose their appeal to an audience that is eager for even bloodier sport.
In an effort to keep the cash flowing, the Death Race is created which pits convicts against one another in a brutal mix of speed, firepower, and death which in a few years surpasses even the Super Bowl as the most watched sporting event in the world.
Jason Statham stars as Jensen Ames, a former race driver who is framed for the murder of his wife and faces the prospect of life in prison while his daughter is raised by strangers. With the Death Race losing some if its audience, its creator, and warden of the prison, Hennessey (Joan Allen), offers Jensen a solution to both of their problems. If Jensen will pose as the masked Frankenstein for the race and win, he will be granted his freedom. It is learned that the real Frankenstein has finally succumbed to the numerous injuries he has incurred racing, and rather than risk losing his vast legions of fans who drive the ratings, it is easier to replace him than lose him, especially since recent races without Frankenstein had not garnered the same ratings as his past races.
It is explained that should a driver win five death races, they will be set free. Since Frankenstein has won four races, all Jensen has to do is win the race and stay alive to earn his freedom. Jensen is faced with an menacing list of adversaries including the deadly Machine Gun Joe (Tyrese Gibson), who is the biggest threat to Jensen with an absolute hatred for Frankenstein. Gun Joe is a cold-blooded killer who wants nothing more than two more race wins to earn his freedom and will stop at nothing to get it.
Jensen is assisted by the talented Coach (Ian McShane), who dispenses wisdom while overseeing the crew that outfits Jensen’s suped up, armor-plated, and very heavily armed racer. Assigned to ride with Jensen as his Navigator is Case (Natalie Martinez), a female prisoner who, like many of her fellow navigators, sees the race as a chance to earn their freedom and other special perks which makes risking their lives a worthwhile endeavor.
As the race unfolds in three stages, Jensen is tasked with not only surviving the threats Machine Gun Joe and the other racers aim his way, but surviving the twisted scheme that has him in its grasp.
The action of the film is fast, brutal, and unforgiving and is easily the highlight of the film. Sadly there are plenty of scenes with stiff and uninspired characters, numerous plot holes and leaps of logic, and clichés that bog the film down.
Statham is his usual soft talking hard man, a character he has made a career out of playing in such films as the “Crank” and the “Transporter” series. But unlike those films, he is not given much material to work with here. Statham has done solid work in the past but Jensen is a paper thin character who never fully given a chance to develop nor be embraced by the audience.
The same is true for the rest of the cast, a talented ensemble left to languish in want of better material. The film is directed by Paul W.S. Anderson of the “Resident Evil” series who once again shows that he has an eye for action, but still has issues with pacing and unsympathetic characters. This is a shame as the premise of the film is solid, but unlike the original, lacks the social and political commentary needed to balance the carnage and mayhem.
With a little more time in shop and tinkering, this could have been a solid action film, instead it stalls at the starting line badly in need of a tune up.
The film became a cult hit, and paved the way for films such as “Rollerball”, “Arena”, and countless other films that featured bloodlust sporting events for the masses a la Rome in the age of gladiators at the coliseum. Thirty-three years later, audiences are given the new and upgraded “Death Race” which benefits from a bigger budget with more carnage than the original film that inspired it ever dreamed of.
The film opens with an eerie warning of today’s troubled economic times, stating that the U.S.
economy collapses in 2012 and record unemployment and crime sweep the nation. With prisons overcrowded, corporations run correctional facilities for a profit and soon offer caged matches between inmates for the viewing pleasure of the nation. At first the matches are a huge success but soon lose their appeal to an audience that is eager for even bloodier sport.
In an effort to keep the cash flowing, the Death Race is created which pits convicts against one another in a brutal mix of speed, firepower, and death which in a few years surpasses even the Super Bowl as the most watched sporting event in the world.
Jason Statham stars as Jensen Ames, a former race driver who is framed for the murder of his wife and faces the prospect of life in prison while his daughter is raised by strangers. With the Death Race losing some if its audience, its creator, and warden of the prison, Hennessey (Joan Allen), offers Jensen a solution to both of their problems. If Jensen will pose as the masked Frankenstein for the race and win, he will be granted his freedom. It is learned that the real Frankenstein has finally succumbed to the numerous injuries he has incurred racing, and rather than risk losing his vast legions of fans who drive the ratings, it is easier to replace him than lose him, especially since recent races without Frankenstein had not garnered the same ratings as his past races.
It is explained that should a driver win five death races, they will be set free. Since Frankenstein has won four races, all Jensen has to do is win the race and stay alive to earn his freedom. Jensen is faced with an menacing list of adversaries including the deadly Machine Gun Joe (Tyrese Gibson), who is the biggest threat to Jensen with an absolute hatred for Frankenstein. Gun Joe is a cold-blooded killer who wants nothing more than two more race wins to earn his freedom and will stop at nothing to get it.
Jensen is assisted by the talented Coach (Ian McShane), who dispenses wisdom while overseeing the crew that outfits Jensen’s suped up, armor-plated, and very heavily armed racer. Assigned to ride with Jensen as his Navigator is Case (Natalie Martinez), a female prisoner who, like many of her fellow navigators, sees the race as a chance to earn their freedom and other special perks which makes risking their lives a worthwhile endeavor.
As the race unfolds in three stages, Jensen is tasked with not only surviving the threats Machine Gun Joe and the other racers aim his way, but surviving the twisted scheme that has him in its grasp.
The action of the film is fast, brutal, and unforgiving and is easily the highlight of the film. Sadly there are plenty of scenes with stiff and uninspired characters, numerous plot holes and leaps of logic, and clichés that bog the film down.
Statham is his usual soft talking hard man, a character he has made a career out of playing in such films as the “Crank” and the “Transporter” series. But unlike those films, he is not given much material to work with here. Statham has done solid work in the past but Jensen is a paper thin character who never fully given a chance to develop nor be embraced by the audience.
The same is true for the rest of the cast, a talented ensemble left to languish in want of better material. The film is directed by Paul W.S. Anderson of the “Resident Evil” series who once again shows that he has an eye for action, but still has issues with pacing and unsympathetic characters. This is a shame as the premise of the film is solid, but unlike the original, lacks the social and political commentary needed to balance the carnage and mayhem.
With a little more time in shop and tinkering, this could have been a solid action film, instead it stalls at the starting line badly in need of a tune up.