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Drag Me to Hell (2009)
Drag Me to Hell (2009)
2009 | Comedy, Horror
I’m just going to be honest. Drag Me To Hell is the movie we would have seen 22 years ago had Sam Raimi been given several million dollars, had Bruce Campbell been a woman and had there been no chainsaws handy. Not that this is a bad thing. I believe that Raimi fans will be quite pleased to see the cult and blockbuster director’s return to his roots.

Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) is a soft-spoken loan officer competing for the open position of assistant manager at the bank branch she works for. She has a predominantly sunny life with her boyfriend, Clay Dalton, (Justin Long) and a new kitten.

When an old woman in an Oldsmobile (Lorna Raver) comes to beg for an extension on her mortgage, Christine is unaware of how much her ideal life is about to change.

Desperate to impress her boss and prove her prowess over the only other candidate, Christine refuses the woman help. Angered and shamed, the woman curses Christine, calling upon the demon Lamia (voiced by Art Kimbro) to torment her for three days and then damn her soul.

Acting upon the advice of a Seer (Dileep Rao), Christine struggles to free herself from this terrible fate. She alienates herself from Clay’s parents, sacrifices her cat, participates in a séance, crashes a funeral, defiles the dead and is eventually forced to choose whether or not she can in turn damn her business rival.

But I wouldn’t want you to start thinking that you’re dealing with some far-too-serious classic horror revival (not that that would be a bad thing). Let’s not forget the projectile blood and vomit, the mud and maggots, the stapler to the face and ruler to the back of the throat; all done in that comical slapstick that only Raimi can produce. The utterly gory, disgusting images that make you laugh hysterically while simultaneously cringeing in disbelief. This is the stuff that made him a cult hero.

There are certainly some creepy moments, quite a few in fact. Things that pleased the horror fan in me very much. And there are plenty of scares to be had as creatures and characters launch themselves from the shadows. I only jumped a couple of times (and I scare easily) but that might have been due more to the people sitting around us than the movie itself.

Drag Me To Hell opens with a classic Universal logo, one that hasn’t been seen since the 70s. It was so appropriate that as soon as I saw it I was sure I was going to walk away happy. Then the opening credits began and I was blown away. They are so absolutely gorgeous that they almost deserve to be a short of their own rather than find themselves pinned to a feature. The special effects continue to be a remarkable strong point throughout the rest of the movie. Several scenes blew me away with their execution and look.

When it comes down to what was missing, characterization was the one thing this film lacked. I didn’t feel very connected to any of the characters and certainly didn’t care about their plight. It seemed rather two dimensional. The characters are barely introduced and we aren’t ushered into their lives and minds before the action begins. We are just expected to care.

On top of this, Lohman’s acting wasn’t the greatest and Long, while doing a decent job, didn’t seem to fit the role terribly well. The cat-sacrificing didn’t go far for making me feel any sympathy toward Christine or her dilemma. This was all very disappointing since I feel as though everything else was so strong that had this been reinforced rather than left flat it would have been exceedingly excellent.

But it is worth a watch. If you love anything by Sam Raimi you will not be disappointed and if you’ve never seen any of his work then you might find yourself pleasantly surprised. This is one of the few things I have ever watched that was exactly what it promised to be.

Thank you, Mr. Raimi, for this excellent return to horror. We are all grateful.
  
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Frankenstein
Frankenstein
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley | 2016 | Fiction & Poetry
6
7.7 (27 Ratings)
Book Rating
The plot and major themes. (1 more)
Further work it inspired.
The main narrator is a terrible human being. (0 more)
Readable, but disjointed and repetitive in parts.
Contains spoilers, click to show
Fundamentally, the problem with this book is the narrator, Victor. He is thoroughly detestable. A selfish, cowardly, irresponsible, excuse ridden, narcissistic d****e-bag of the highest order. And unfortunately, it is Victor Frankenstein’s POV that we are forced into for the majority of the novel.
My hatred for and frustration with the self-pitying, feckless behaviour of the (pseudo)
protagonist made this an irritating read for me- and to an extent I think this was Shelley’s intention. Victor isn’t designed to be the likable, affable, morally “good” man fallen from grace he believes himself to be, and the horrific events that befall those around him are of his making.
However, this doesn’t make him any less grating! The "monster" (to me reminiscent of Caliban with his lyrical speech and enforced isolation, being neither man nor not man) is eloquent and persuasive when he asks his creator to account for his misdoings. So, you’ve got to ask yourself, if an infanticidal, demonic, bag of sew together corpses is actually more engaging than the main storyteller, is that storyteller really the
right character to be telling the story?
Now, with all that said, it is an important book. A work by a female author with strong female characters (albeit background characters) who was only nineteen when she wrote the initial draft. Very impressive. But, for me her youth is evident. When we teach secondary school pupils to write creatively, we often give them the ambiguous instruction “show don’t tell”, and for me the book is more of a list of horrible and horrific events told in a Chinese puzzle box style story within a story, rather than an engaging and “complete” narrative. It feels like she chooses to place focus on the wrong “bits”- for example the whole of chapter nineteen where Victor travels the British Isles, comments briefly on the local architecture of each town and city and
then repetitively reminds us that he couldn’t enjoy the surroundings because of his angst.
And I would have at least like to have seen some of the courtroom drama when Victor is tried for the death of Clerval...
So, I hate to be “that” gal, who poo-poos these fantastic works of fiction (we know they’re great because some clever-britches told us they were) but in all honesty, the novel ain’t that good, and I’ll maintain that stance no matter how clever the britches of the opposing schools of thought.
 I think the continuing appeal is in it’s universal themes: parenting, nature versus
nurture; morality and scientific advancement- and the whole idea of stitching a creature out of
corpse-parts and electrocuting it to life is pretty darn cool. And there are some really effective
horror scenes, such as the vignette of Victor ripping apart project lady-monster (I kind wish she had a name- a working title- but given he can’t even be bothered to name monster number one I guess this was all too much to hope for).
It’s readable, but it’s value, for me at any rate, lies in the offshoots and creativity it has spawned, rather than the work itself.
  
The Witch (2015)
The Witch (2015)
2015 | History, Horror
8
6.3 (28 Ratings)
Movie Rating
THE VVITCH

The full title is, The Witch: A New England Folktale. Like Grimm’s fairytales, American folklore has taken revisions over the centuries to become a palatable collection of juvenile life lessons. Anyone who has read the original versions of these stories knows how brutal, horrifying, and far removed they are from our current values. As much as I would not condone reading original classic witch tales to a small child, they do contain much deeper implications and ideas than the simple “Don’t tell lies” that are gleaned from modern revisions. What’s fascinating about The Witch is how familiar the setting and story is, without a single cliché or moment of prediction to speak of. The evil that was feared in 17th Century Puritan America has been so eclipsed by the human horrors of The Salem Witch Trials, that we have forgotten what it was to fear a witch.

We know these characters only by their Christian names. William removes his family from their Colonial settlement due to an incompatibility of faith. The colony of Puritans isn’t Christian enough. With his wife, Katherine, William takes his 4 children into the wilds of the Northeast. Airs of The Crucible envelope the setting. Common pronouns are replaced with “thines” and “thous”. Dialogue is delivered as if quoted from Shakespeare or the Bible itself. In the past, this oral dynamic has always sounded ardently rehearsed. Somehow, it’s natural here. Considering William’s rigorous faith, you might expect him to be an overbearingly shrewd father. He is in fact a loving and good man of his time; often a pushover. Katherine is the more fearsome parent, with a shrill voice and gaunt pointed face. While they do live in hardship, this is a good family. Once Fall deadens the colors and greys the skies, things begin to take a disturbing turn.

Ralph Ineson and Kate Dickie play the parents without an exaggeration of the material. Remarkable still are the actors portraying their children. Harvey Scrimshaw plays William’s 10-year-old son, Caleb, as natural as can be imagined. The dramatic beats of a horror movie come with taxing climactic moments and Scrimshaw acts beyond his years. Anya Taylor-Joy plays the eldest daughter Thomasin; a doe-eyed blonde beauty who plays the most relatable character of the flock. The dynamic between Caleb and Thompsin has notes of innocent sexual tension. Their secluded life leaves a great deal of new feelings that can’t be addressed due to their customs. These feelings lead to foreign temptations that are preyed upon by the timeless evil beyond the trees.

The greatest achievement of this film is how faithful it is to its setting and story, while keeping enough behind the veil to become engrossing. The tale feels as old as any, drawing from universal fears and motivations. How it draws you in, keeping you tied to the victims and their perspective while keeping the evil at arm’s length, shows a discipline of craft that greatly compliments the material. Much like vampires, witches have been trivialized and diluted by film into something superficially attractive and entertainingly evil. As with Noseferatu, seeing a witch living a damnable existence of ugliness is much more appropriate. If they’re ever beautiful, they won’t be for long.
  
The Invisible Man (2020)
The Invisible Man (2020)
2020 | Horror, Sci-Fi
Elisabeth Moss - excellent performance (1 more)
Slowly creeping tension - clever camera work
Wildly implausible plot and bad decision making! (0 more)
Have you seen "The Invisible Man"?
Cecilia Kass (Elisabeth Moss) is trapped in a highly controlling and violent relationship with technology mogul Adrian Griffin (Oliver Jackson-Cohen). Escaping from his fortress-like home, she lives in fear of his retribution. So she is much relieved, if a little surprised, at the report of his suicide. Now living with old friend James Lanier (Aldis Hodge) and his teenage daughter Sydney (Storm Reid), Cecilia can finally start to relax. But as strange things start to happen, is the ghost of Griffin back to haunt her? Or is it really all in her rapidly disintegrating mind, as her sister Emily (Harriet Dyer) and James suspect?

Australian writer/director Leigh Whannell is famous as the writer behind the "Saw" and "Insidious" franchises. So he knows a thing or two about crafting horror movies. And in this Blumhouse production, after a clever attention-grabbing opening, he really takes his time in building an understanding of Cecilia's mental state. When things start to happen, they happen so stealthily that I needed to hit the rewind button a couple of times (no cinema experience for this one I'm afraid). Cinematographer Stefan Duscio keeps slowly panning away from Cecilia across the room to show empty corridors before slowly panning back again. It's superbly effective and was comprehensively creeping me out!

When the set action pieces do occur then they are satisfactorily exciting, albeit wildly implausible. I did not see some of the "Surprises" coming, making them jolt-worthy. And the denouement really delivered for me, reminiscent of Hitchcock's style.

Now most famous for "Mad Men" and "The Handmaids Tale" on TV, Elisabeth Moss has delivered a range of impressive film performances including in "High Rise" and - as most closely related to this role - in "Girl, Interrupted" as mental patient Lisa. It's a star turn, no doubt about it.

This movie was intended by Universal to be part of the "Dark Universe" series. But the Tom Cruise flop "The Mummy" unfortunately put paid to that. Which is a great shame. If they'd started with this one, then they might have had a hit on their hands. With a post-credits "monkey" (there isn't one in this movie by the way) they could have lined up into the follow-up movie and started the ball rolling.

It's a rollicking action flick that had my attention throughout. However, the initial question it poses - haunting, 'all in the mind' or something else - gets clarified a little too early for me (and - note - is spoiled by the trailer), so the movie falls short of being a classic for that reason.

There's one aspect of the movie that really irritated me. And that is that there was no credit whatsoever for the idea of H.G. Wells that originated this story. There's a discussion of that here: since Wells died in 1946, his copyright will have expired on his works 70 years later. This is definitely NOT a retelling of his story, but in reusing the novel's title it would seem at least 'polite' to include a "Based on an idea by H.G. Wells" in the credits somewhere.

All in all, this is still a bit of a B-movie, but its a bloody good one! Utterly preposterous at times, and with decision-making that would feel at home within the Trump presidency, it's an entertaining rollercoaster of a movie. Definitely comes with a "recommended" from me and I'll look forward to a re-watch at some point.

For the full graphical review, please check out the One Mann's Movies review here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2021/01/09/have-you-seen-the-invisible-man/ .
  
Horrified: Universal Monsters Strategy Board Game
Horrified: Universal Monsters Strategy Board Game
2019 | Horror, Murder & Mystery
I was a child a long time ago. Okay, not THAT long ago, but I remember being frightened of a great many thing on TV: Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” music video, the TV show “V,” and so many others. I still to this day have not watched an entire old school Universal Studios Monster movie. However, I used to live in California for part of my childhood and my family had season passes to Universal Studios and we would go quite a lot, so I have always been familiar with the monsters. So when I saw a game was being crafted featuring these lovable, but in a nostalgic way, creatures I knew I just had to have it.


Horrified is a pickup and deliver, action points, cooperative game with dice and miniatures utilizing a variable setup. In it players take on the role of a hero in a monster movie – but not just A monster movie, but SEVERAL monsters will be haunting the town! It is the heroes’ goal to defeat the monsters before the Terror Marker reaches maximum or the heroes run out of time and the monsters take over the town.
To setup, place the board on the table and draw 12 Item tokens from the bag. Place these Items on the board in the specified location printed on the Item. Depending on how many players (for this review I will be using the Solo rules in the rule book) place the Terror Marker appropriately on the board – the photo above was taken before I realized that it starts on three in the Solo game. Choose the monsters to be faced and place their mats near the board. The rulebook states where the monster minis will start the game. Place the Frenzy token on the lowest Frenzy-numbered monster. Shuffle the Monster and Perk decks of cards separately and deal each player one Perk card. Each player chooses or is randomly dealt a character badge and places the standee in the appropriate location on the board. The game may now begin!

Players will be taking turns traveling the town, picking up Items, attempting to defeat the monsters per their defeat instructions on their mats, delivering villagers that randomly appear to their safe locations, and keeping the Terror Marker in the acceptable range. Each character has a certain number of actions that can be taken on their turns, but any Perk cards used are spent as a bonus action on the hero’s turn. The hero actions are: Move (one space along the lit pathways, even with a villager in tow), Guide (a villager one space away from the hero), Pick Up (Items from locations), Share (Items from player to player – not needed in a Solo game), Special Action (if the character being played has one on their badge), Advance (complete a task on the Monster mat to move one step closer to defeat), and Defeat (once all the tasks are complete and the player has enough Items to defeat the Monster at the same location). Once a hero has used up all their Action Points per their badge, it will be the Monster phase.


Monster phases begin with a draw from the Monster deck. Upon the card will be a number printed on the top which instructs players as to how many Items to draw and place from the bag. Next, players will read the text on the card and complete any instructions. Finally, the Monsters will strike. At the bottom of the card will be printed several icons pertaining to Monsters individually and also the Monster who happens to currently be Frenzied. These icons instruct players to move certain Monsters and if they share a space with a hero or villager, to roll the attack dice. One hit from a Monster defeats either a villager or hero (unless the hero discards any Item to block the attack). If a hero or villager is defeated, the Terror Marker moves up a space toward ultimate doom. Play then is passed to the players again. The game continues in this fashion until one of the game end conditions is met and the heroe(s) win or the Monsters succeed in their hostile haunted takeover.
Components. I’d like to start with the art. I love it. The art has a very 1930s Hollywood style and is simply beautiful. The colors are vibrant, where color is used, and the board is stunning. All of the cardboard components are top notch quality, and the Monster minis are fab. Obviously it would be great for all the heroes and villagers to have minis as well, but there is text printed on those standees that just can’t translate to a miniature. All in all, the components here are wonderful and high quality.

The gameplay is also wonderful and high quality. The solo game from which these photos are taken I randomly drew the Mayor character and decided to hit the town with Dracula, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and The Invisible Man. That’s a Standard game in the rules. The Mayor is great because she is able to take five actions on her turn (plus Perks), but she has no special abilities. That is both a blessing and a curse and wonderfully balanced. I would say I finished the game needing just one or two more Monster cards to draw before all three baddies were defeated. But, that’s the difficulty of having three Monsters showing. With just two Monsters I would have won handily, but maybe would not have enjoyed it as much and written it off as too easy. Luckily I always learn games on normal standard difficulty first.

Traipsing around town picking up Items and ushering villagers to their safe spaces sounds relaxing, but when the Monsters are on your trail and ready to Strike it adds a layer of anxiety that is just delicious. I admit I probably spent too much time trying to save every villager and that’s partly why I failed at this one game. Also I miscalculated how many extra Items to have on hand when attempting to Advance the Monster tasks. Couple those with my strategy to concentrate on defeating one Monster at a time and, well, that’s a losing strategy it seems.

The gameplay is so much fun, and the components are so wonderful to play with, it’s really no surprise I enjoy this game as much as I do. I have purposely left out some rules for readers to enjoy discovering themselves, but this is a tight game with pressure from different fronts to complete objectives. It’s the kind of game where even with a loss you find yourself wanting to try again right away. And that’s a sing of an excellent game. Purple Phoenix Games gives this very high ratings, even as a solo experience. If you need more horror-style adventure games in your collection, please check out Horrified. It’s not really that scary to play, but you will certainly be haunted by your choices you make throughout the game.