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Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Vampires Suck (2010) in Movies
Aug 8, 2019
Vampires suck – but does the movie? We open on the San Salvatore Festival with the angsty Becca watching her beau, Edward Sullen, disrobe and expose his sparkly secrets- he’s a vampire! Cue the “True Blood- 40oz” toting, Mono-fang vampire to take Edward out….wait, we have to get the rest of the story! What follows is a parody of the first two movies of the Twilight Saga. Most of the characters analogous to the spoof’s target are introduced in the first 30 minutes; few of them are actually seen again throughout the movie.
Becca (newcomer Jenn Proske) is forced to move to Sporks, Washington, with her deadbeat father and town sheriff, Frank Crane (Diedrich Bader of The Drew Carey Show). Frank’s best friend is the rough-and-tumble paraplegic Native American, Bobby. His contribution to the plot is his hunky teenage son, Jacob White (Chris Riggi of Gossip Girl). The town of Sporks seems to have vampires on the brain and its population is only growing smaller.
Our heroine is introduced to Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter of Disaster Movie) and what follows is the “classic” story of girl-meets-vampire, girl-loses-vampire, girl-gets-threatened-by-vampire-nemesis, etc. Writers/Directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer use their formulaic approach to spoof movies by making the plot a cliff-notes version of the Stephanie Meyer’s original material, with ample jokes thrown in-in an attempt to beef up their rendition.
In fact, there are so many visual jokes in the movie that it left me wondering what a sight-impaired person might conclude of the movie. “What are all these people laughing at?” I noticed a few of the dialogue driven jokes weren’t even played off by the actors. They seemed to have been missed by everyone, including the editors. Other jokes are pop-culture references that will get stale with time. They’re integrated well, but definitely dated. The movie is redolent with the classic American comedy tradition of slapstick, which occasionally comes off as funny.
The production value left something to be desired as several scenes were obviously one-takes. I counted several instances where Becca’s kiss left Edward’s mouth with a smudge of his own flesh-tone showing through. But hey- at least single takes have continuity, right? The contacts, no doubt purchased in bulk, gave the characters an occasional Marty Feldman goggly-look. The effect is hilarious, although I’m not always sure if it’s intentional.
The cast has its standouts. Jenn Proske’s Becca comes dangerously close (like copyright-violating close) to the performance of Kristen Stewart’s Bella as the fidgety, twitchy, sullen and hormone-y heroine. And Ken Jeong (The Hangover) as Daro, while not appearing on screen much, definitely makes his comedic presence felt.
All in all, “Vampires Suck” didn’t really suck… it kind of chews, like gum. Gum out of the package is fresh, flavorful, but the longer you chew it, the tougher and more stale it becomes. This movie is fresh, funny, and quirky right now, but it won’t stand the test of time like more accomplished parodies.
Becca (newcomer Jenn Proske) is forced to move to Sporks, Washington, with her deadbeat father and town sheriff, Frank Crane (Diedrich Bader of The Drew Carey Show). Frank’s best friend is the rough-and-tumble paraplegic Native American, Bobby. His contribution to the plot is his hunky teenage son, Jacob White (Chris Riggi of Gossip Girl). The town of Sporks seems to have vampires on the brain and its population is only growing smaller.
Our heroine is introduced to Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter of Disaster Movie) and what follows is the “classic” story of girl-meets-vampire, girl-loses-vampire, girl-gets-threatened-by-vampire-nemesis, etc. Writers/Directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer use their formulaic approach to spoof movies by making the plot a cliff-notes version of the Stephanie Meyer’s original material, with ample jokes thrown in-in an attempt to beef up their rendition.
In fact, there are so many visual jokes in the movie that it left me wondering what a sight-impaired person might conclude of the movie. “What are all these people laughing at?” I noticed a few of the dialogue driven jokes weren’t even played off by the actors. They seemed to have been missed by everyone, including the editors. Other jokes are pop-culture references that will get stale with time. They’re integrated well, but definitely dated. The movie is redolent with the classic American comedy tradition of slapstick, which occasionally comes off as funny.
The production value left something to be desired as several scenes were obviously one-takes. I counted several instances where Becca’s kiss left Edward’s mouth with a smudge of his own flesh-tone showing through. But hey- at least single takes have continuity, right? The contacts, no doubt purchased in bulk, gave the characters an occasional Marty Feldman goggly-look. The effect is hilarious, although I’m not always sure if it’s intentional.
The cast has its standouts. Jenn Proske’s Becca comes dangerously close (like copyright-violating close) to the performance of Kristen Stewart’s Bella as the fidgety, twitchy, sullen and hormone-y heroine. And Ken Jeong (The Hangover) as Daro, while not appearing on screen much, definitely makes his comedic presence felt.
All in all, “Vampires Suck” didn’t really suck… it kind of chews, like gum. Gum out of the package is fresh, flavorful, but the longer you chew it, the tougher and more stale it becomes. This movie is fresh, funny, and quirky right now, but it won’t stand the test of time like more accomplished parodies.
Sassy Brit (97 KP) rated Romanov in Books
Jun 6, 2019
^^ The Romanovs are an ancient family of vampires, to which Anna belongs, but after the death of her father, they are now in hiding for their own protection. When she meets a lad, Eric, college student and human, their bond is so strong they fall in love hard. Yes, it’s literally love at first sight. But unbeknown to Eric, danger is close, always watching and threatening to pounce from the shadows. Can Anna protect the ones she loves, when someone or something is out to eradicate the Romanov family and all those that stand in their way?
^^ This is written from different points of view, which allows us to see this intriguing story from several angles. At the end of every chapter there’s a sense of something lurking in the shadows, watching, following, and it could attack at any time. Whilst this added to the suspense and made for great foreshadowing, it was drawn out over a lot of pages, and felt a little repetitive at times.
^^ What I loved about this was the ‘new adult’ romance theme of which gave way to a large proportion of this book. With danger lurking around every corner, Anna soon discovers that she had to look out for not only her own family, but protect her beau, Eric, too. There is also an unusual shape-shifting, supernatural element to this tale, both of which I found added different levels to this modern vampire story. It’s not all as straightforward, as it might – at first – seem.
^^ This story feels like the beginning of a much larger tale, since we are introduced to a lot of characters and different families, all living their lives as they know how. It reminded me of a soap opera, where we watch the lives of many families unravel before our very eyes. An unknown danger is making every effort to thwart the Romanov’s survival, but is Anna strong enough to overcome this evil?
Overall: Samaire Provost has created an atmospheric vampire story with a difference, in that the creatures within are not your standard monsters and their world consists of different rules and ideals. That alone is quite refreshing in this vampire story. Saying that, this is not just a book about vampires, it’s about families, feuds, survival of the fittest and how far you’d go to protect the ones you love. I found it an enjoyable, clever read and it should appeal to readers of vampire fiction who like something a little different from the norm.
^^ This is written from different points of view, which allows us to see this intriguing story from several angles. At the end of every chapter there’s a sense of something lurking in the shadows, watching, following, and it could attack at any time. Whilst this added to the suspense and made for great foreshadowing, it was drawn out over a lot of pages, and felt a little repetitive at times.
^^ What I loved about this was the ‘new adult’ romance theme of which gave way to a large proportion of this book. With danger lurking around every corner, Anna soon discovers that she had to look out for not only her own family, but protect her beau, Eric, too. There is also an unusual shape-shifting, supernatural element to this tale, both of which I found added different levels to this modern vampire story. It’s not all as straightforward, as it might – at first – seem.
^^ This story feels like the beginning of a much larger tale, since we are introduced to a lot of characters and different families, all living their lives as they know how. It reminded me of a soap opera, where we watch the lives of many families unravel before our very eyes. An unknown danger is making every effort to thwart the Romanov’s survival, but is Anna strong enough to overcome this evil?
Overall: Samaire Provost has created an atmospheric vampire story with a difference, in that the creatures within are not your standard monsters and their world consists of different rules and ideals. That alone is quite refreshing in this vampire story. Saying that, this is not just a book about vampires, it’s about families, feuds, survival of the fittest and how far you’d go to protect the ones you love. I found it an enjoyable, clever read and it should appeal to readers of vampire fiction who like something a little different from the norm.
Merissa (13389 KP) rated The Witch's Dream (Knights of Black Swan #2) in Books
Aug 11, 2017
The Witch's Dream (Knights of Black Swan #2) by Victoria Danann
My word this is a dream of a book! It continues straight after My Familiar Stranger and takes you straight back into the lives of B Company. The whole book is a joy to read and I am so glad that Elora now has company in the "women with spirit" category. Litha and Song look like they are going to keep the baton going :o)
If you are expecting a vampire romance, you can forget it. They don't even really get a mention in this book, apart from ex-vampire Baka (who's story I can't wait to read!) but what you do get is demons, a look at Kay's berserker side, and magic of the practical kind.
I love the way these books are written and often find myself laughing out loud as I read. The characters continue to grow and as an added little extra you get an interview with Ram at the end of this book.
5 out of 5, 10 out of 10 - whichever way you want to look at it, these books are fantastic.
* Verified Purchase ~ February 2013
Reviewed on Goodreads ~ February 2013 *
Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
If you are expecting a vampire romance, you can forget it. They don't even really get a mention in this book, apart from ex-vampire Baka (who's story I can't wait to read!) but what you do get is demons, a look at Kay's berserker side, and magic of the practical kind.
I love the way these books are written and often find myself laughing out loud as I read. The characters continue to grow and as an added little extra you get an interview with Ram at the end of this book.
5 out of 5, 10 out of 10 - whichever way you want to look at it, these books are fantastic.
* Verified Purchase ~ February 2013
Reviewed on Goodreads ~ February 2013 *
Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
graveyardgremlin (7194 KP) rated How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire in Books
Feb 15, 2019
A fast and fun vampire romance read. While it's not very original, it has its own charm, all the characters are likable enough, if slightly undeveloped (but the Highlanders are great!), and the plot moves along nicely, although the Stake-Out groups addition to the story was weird and unnecessary to the plot. I do feel that the title and cover misrepresent the book, but luckily, it looks as though the next three covers are better. One small quibble: since Shanna had brown hair (dyed or not), it would be impossible for her to go platinum blonde w/o first stripping the color out. Like I said, not a biggie, but faulty nonetheless. There were some interesting aspects: mainly the science part, but unfortunately there wasn't anything overly special about the book. Oh, and two scenes in particular were very funny; they were the blood shuffling one and when Shanna wakes up. Those two were about the only times I laughed out loud, but there were a few other amusing things too. Overall, the book was light, easy to read, and a nice diversion. I look forward to Be Still My Vampire Heart with Angus - I do love me some Highlanders! ;P
ArecRain (8 KP) rated Eighth Grade Bites (The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod, #1) in Books
Jan 18, 2018
This review is really hard to write mainly because I did not have any feelings about this book after I read it. It was a quick read, only taking me two hours; yet it was hard to stay focused. I felt so unmotivated to read this book, which I sometimes had to force myself to keep going.
I am not saying it is a bad book. In fact, I think quite the opposite. While it was not anything to heavy or thought provoking, Brewer did a good job at creating a practical storyline with realistic characters and an in-depth vampire society I felt that she teased us with all the glimpses into the vampire society. It was obvious this novel was the first in the series. We are introduced to Vlad and the people important to the storyline. I wish she had shown us more because I am not interested in reading the rest of the series to find out.
The only thing that truly annoyed me, however, was Brewers lack of subtly. She brings up subjects that are supposed to be revealed later in novel/series, but she makes it so obvious that you are supposed to be interested.
I am not saying it is a bad book. In fact, I think quite the opposite. While it was not anything to heavy or thought provoking, Brewer did a good job at creating a practical storyline with realistic characters and an in-depth vampire society I felt that she teased us with all the glimpses into the vampire society. It was obvious this novel was the first in the series. We are introduced to Vlad and the people important to the storyline. I wish she had shown us more because I am not interested in reading the rest of the series to find out.
The only thing that truly annoyed me, however, was Brewers lack of subtly. She brings up subjects that are supposed to be revealed later in novel/series, but she makes it so obvious that you are supposed to be interested.
Merissa (13389 KP) rated Concealed in Books
Oct 19, 2018
Concealed by Rosalie Redd
Concealed: Lexi is a story from the Blood Courtesan world, a series of standalones by different authors. This one has been written by Rosalie Redd, and an amazing job she has done with it too.
Lexi and Gavin's story is a Beauty and the Beast tale, with a vampirical twist. Not only are there vampires and courtesans in this story, but this vampire can also get sick. Sickness not crossing over to vampires is purely a myth. ? Gavin has his issues, Lexi has hers. You hope they will end up together, but the fun part is seeing just how they do.
This is a fast paced long-novella, with plenty of back history given at the right times - no info-dump here. The characters are nicely rounded out, and the situations believable. Going along with my experience of Rosalie Redd, there were no editing or grammatical errors in this story that disrupted my reading flow.
For the romantic, for those who love a good vampire story, I can highly recommend this!
* A copy of this book was provided to me with no requirements for a review. I voluntarily read this book, and the comments here are my honest opinion. *
Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
Lexi and Gavin's story is a Beauty and the Beast tale, with a vampirical twist. Not only are there vampires and courtesans in this story, but this vampire can also get sick. Sickness not crossing over to vampires is purely a myth. ? Gavin has his issues, Lexi has hers. You hope they will end up together, but the fun part is seeing just how they do.
This is a fast paced long-novella, with plenty of back history given at the right times - no info-dump here. The characters are nicely rounded out, and the situations believable. Going along with my experience of Rosalie Redd, there were no editing or grammatical errors in this story that disrupted my reading flow.
For the romantic, for those who love a good vampire story, I can highly recommend this!
* A copy of this book was provided to me with no requirements for a review. I voluntarily read this book, and the comments here are my honest opinion. *
Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
Samantha Reece (16 KP) rated Wordless (Age of Blood, #1) in Books
Nov 14, 2018
4.5 Stars!!
May Sage is such a fabulous author! She knows just how to pull the reader right into the story from the first sentence. Wordless is a start to a whole new series. It is about a world ran by vampires, and it is hot and everything a vampire novel should be!
Fay is the protagonist of the story. She is being used as a sex slave by the vampires, but this all changes when William shows up. She is a smart and kind woman who wants to break free of her chains and love her own life. William is a sexy vampire who is also kind and treats Fay like an actual person. There are quite a few side characters who are all equally lovable and have the potential for their own books!
Sage has really built up a wonderful new world. My only complaint would be the story felt just a tiny bit rushed, but maybe it is just because I wanted to read more!
All in all, I cannot wait to read the next book to the series, Worthless! May Sage is definitely going places with her work. :)
*I received a free copy from the amazing author for an honest review.*
May Sage is such a fabulous author! She knows just how to pull the reader right into the story from the first sentence. Wordless is a start to a whole new series. It is about a world ran by vampires, and it is hot and everything a vampire novel should be!
Fay is the protagonist of the story. She is being used as a sex slave by the vampires, but this all changes when William shows up. She is a smart and kind woman who wants to break free of her chains and love her own life. William is a sexy vampire who is also kind and treats Fay like an actual person. There are quite a few side characters who are all equally lovable and have the potential for their own books!
Sage has really built up a wonderful new world. My only complaint would be the story felt just a tiny bit rushed, but maybe it is just because I wanted to read more!
All in all, I cannot wait to read the next book to the series, Worthless! May Sage is definitely going places with her work. :)
*I received a free copy from the amazing author for an honest review.*
Debbiereadsbook (1554 KP) rated Red Snowflakes in Books
Nov 14, 2019
nice easy read
Independent reviewer for Archaeolibrarian, I was gifted my copy of this book.
Dimitri has just 5 days to convince Dena she is his fated mate, or he will die.
I really rather enyoyed this short tale of a lonley vampire waiting out his fate, I really did!
It's only short, 100 odd pages, but it was a surprising read and I cannot say why!
It's not overly sexy, and at one point I thought it might turn out clean, but I would have still enjoyed it.
Dimitri is vampire, and has some skills not *usually* associated with vampires: he can change shape into anything and every thing, he can magic things up and away. I liked that, its different.
Dena is as lonely as Dimitri and she has a strong voice, and won't take any nonsense off Dimitri when he pulls the alpha male thing, and I loved that she stood up to him.
Both Dena and Dimitri have a say, in the third person, and I read this book in one sitting. A very enjoyable sitting it was too.
Not read anything else by this author, and I would like to read more.
4 good solid stars
**same worded review will appear elsewhere**
Dimitri has just 5 days to convince Dena she is his fated mate, or he will die.
I really rather enyoyed this short tale of a lonley vampire waiting out his fate, I really did!
It's only short, 100 odd pages, but it was a surprising read and I cannot say why!
It's not overly sexy, and at one point I thought it might turn out clean, but I would have still enjoyed it.
Dimitri is vampire, and has some skills not *usually* associated with vampires: he can change shape into anything and every thing, he can magic things up and away. I liked that, its different.
Dena is as lonely as Dimitri and she has a strong voice, and won't take any nonsense off Dimitri when he pulls the alpha male thing, and I loved that she stood up to him.
Both Dena and Dimitri have a say, in the third person, and I read this book in one sitting. A very enjoyable sitting it was too.
Not read anything else by this author, and I would like to read more.
4 good solid stars
**same worded review will appear elsewhere**
My Swordhand is Singing
4.0
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An original interpretation of the timelessly fascinating vampire myth, and a story of father and...
Matthew Krueger (10051 KP) rated Dracula (1958) in Movies
Nov 5, 2020 (Updated Nov 5, 2020)
The Vampire Rises Once More
Dracula- is a great movie. Hammer films is a excellent studio, cause their brought back the universal monsters and put their own spin on it. And with Dracula their put their own spin on Dracula. And did it work, yes.
First Christopher Lee played as the creature in The Curse of Frankenstien, now he plays as Dracula. When you think of Dracula you think of Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee. Christopher Lee played Dracula more times then Bela Lugosi. But both actors are iconic, legends and icons.
The plot: On a search for his missing friend Jonathan Harker (John Van Eyssen), vampire hunter Dr. Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) is led to Count Dracula's (Christopher Lee) castle. Upon arriving, Van Helsing finds an undead Harker in Dracula's crypt and discovers that the count's next target is Harker's ailing fiancée, Lucy Holmwood (Carol Marsh). With the help of her brother, Arthur (Michael Gough), Van Helsing struggles to protect Lucy and put an end to Count Dracula's parasitic reign of terror.
In the United States, the film was retitled Horror of Dracula to avoid confusion with the U.S. original by Universal Pictures, 1931's Dracula.
Its a excllent film.
First Christopher Lee played as the creature in The Curse of Frankenstien, now he plays as Dracula. When you think of Dracula you think of Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee. Christopher Lee played Dracula more times then Bela Lugosi. But both actors are iconic, legends and icons.
The plot: On a search for his missing friend Jonathan Harker (John Van Eyssen), vampire hunter Dr. Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) is led to Count Dracula's (Christopher Lee) castle. Upon arriving, Van Helsing finds an undead Harker in Dracula's crypt and discovers that the count's next target is Harker's ailing fiancée, Lucy Holmwood (Carol Marsh). With the help of her brother, Arthur (Michael Gough), Van Helsing struggles to protect Lucy and put an end to Count Dracula's parasitic reign of terror.
In the United States, the film was retitled Horror of Dracula to avoid confusion with the U.S. original by Universal Pictures, 1931's Dracula.
Its a excllent film.