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LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated Phantoms (1998) in Movies

Sep 21, 2020  
Phantoms (1998)
Phantoms (1998)
1998 | Horror, Mystery
4
4.8 (10 Ratings)
Movie Rating Watch
Peter O'Toole was the bomb in 𝘗𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴, yo. Features elements of a horror movie but fails to actually make a horror movie out of them - spends most of its runtime focusing on the bracing thrills of walking around slowly and looking at stuff, and the heart-clenching horrors of sitting in some lab talking about chemicals and stuff. Dean Koontz is the Dan Brown of horror, ineptly weaving together such laughably idiotic historical appeals (forced to be played straight) for people who don't know they aren't cultured and then doing nothing with them. Also Rose McGowan is either genuinely crap here or she just doesn't care. The sci-fi violence/gore is honestly quite vicious and damn cool for what this is, and there is a noticeable amount of enjoyable stupidity to be had (terrified Affleck pleading for his life to a golden retriever, O'Toole screaming about how some ancient extraterrestrial-demon shapeshifting oil killed the dinosaurs, etc) but it's too slapdash for its own good. Gets right into it then takes multiple breaks to sit on its ass, not awful but also not worth any sort of time, tbh. The Blob for those thirsty for cardboard vapidity. *Please* just watch 𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 7𝘵𝘩 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘵 instead.
  
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Awix (3310 KP) rated Enola Holmes (2020) in Movies

Sep 24, 2020  
Enola Holmes (2020)
Enola Holmes (2020)
2020 | Adventure, Crime, Drama
5
6.7 (25 Ratings)
Movie Rating Watch
Lavish slab of Holmesian schlock, which managed to get Netflix sued by the Conan Doyle estate on the grounds that it depicts Sherlock Holmes having emotions: frankly, this is the least of the film's divergences from the canon. The great detective's slightly manic younger sister is home-schooled by her mother, and then goes off to London when said matriarch vanishes on her sixteenth birthday.

Doesn't really bear much resemblance to the original canon, nor to the realities of Victorian London or much else, really: there isn't a great deal of detecting going on, but there is a lot of earnest messaging about finding your own path and giving the patriarchy a good kicking. Has clearly had some money spent on it; Brown has a certain presence and Cavill, while arguably miscast, is less problematic than you might expect. For a film which appears to be aimed at a fairly young audience there are some moments of surprisingly nasty violence, but on the whole it's fairly inoffensive. I imagine members of the target audience will probably enjoy it a lot more than me; I think I'll be sticking with Young Sherlock Holmes when I'm in the mood for this sort of thing.