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The Queens Corgi (2019)
The Queens Corgi (2019)
2019 |
1
2.0 (8 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Contains spoilers, click to show
The Queens Corgi is an animated children's movie about Rex, the Queen's favourite who, after a disastrous visit from Donald Trump, is tricked into leaving the palace and winds up in the dog pound. This is a common formula in children’s movies both animated and live action and I'm sure most of us can guess what happens next, Rex tries to get back home and, on the way makes some friends and falls in love. So when my daughter wanted to see it I though I'd be in for a funny, possibly sad film. God I was wrong. There is so much wrong with this film and it all seems to go wrong from the scene where Donald Trump visits the Queen and I really wish I could say my problems were politically motivated but unfortunately the film was just that bad.
The character of Trump was reduced to a stereotypical American tourist with Melania passing comments about the size of Donald’s (big) hands being one of the things that attracted her to him.
The problems really start when Melania and the Queen decided it will be a good idea to breed their respective corgis. Melania's Corgi, Mitzi, who is made up in heave eye shadow and lipstick is instantly judged and disliked by all the Queens corgis (both Male and female). Melania's Corgi then passes judgment on all the corgis until she comes to Rex who she decided she wants. The two dogs are then left in a room together after being told by Trump to grab him by the pups.
Now I just want to make the following clear:
  1) I've seen plenty of movies where the (normally timid/nerdy) male character is hit on by the strong scary bully female and this normally for comedy value. Although these scenes could be seen as problematic they are normally played for laughs.
  2) I understand that dog breeders do choose dogs and put them together to mate. However, as the animals in this film are given human personality's the situation is different.
So when the two dogs are left in the room we are treated to long scene where Mitzi tries to get Rex to mate with her, because Rex wants none of it Mitzi chases him around the room, grabs him, stops him from leaving and generally won’t take no for an answer. This is not done playfully.
Later in the film, Rex is in a dog pound, one of his cell mates starts listing the rules of the pound, rule one, there is no fight club. Now, this may have been ok if it was a one time throw away line, kids films often have little jokes for adults. However, it's not a throw away line, it's used more than once, including the first time the dogs are at a fight club. Yes, the top dog, called Butch, keeps order by making any dog he doesn't like fight. We see a dog carried off on stretcher, Rex is almost thrown into a fire and is only saved when Butch is knock out in one punch which also knocks out half his teeth.
Of course Rex and his new friends make it back to the palace and beat the main villain who is sent off with Trump and Mitzi. Remember non of the palace dogs liked Mitzi and she has all already said she doesn't understand the word no so this has implications for Charlie’s futures. It's ok though because he's the bad guy (not).
So we have a children's film with dog fights, attempted rape, implied rape, judging on appearance and a dull story, that seem find the line between children’s jokes and the adult ones the only reason I'm giving this one star is because it avoids getting political with Trump.
  
The Book of Henry (2017)
The Book of Henry (2017)
2017 | Drama
Characters – Susan is the mother of the house, though she doesn’t have the full responsibility in the house as she lets her genius son Henry handle the finances in the home. She is a single working mother that does everything she can to help her kids, enjoys a drink with her best friend Sheila and videos to release the stress, she must go through a difficult process when Henry becomes sick and wants to follow his book to do the right thing. Henry is a genius 12-year-old boy, he keeps his family together while trying to leave his own legacy, he knows how to work the stock market which keeps the family a float and when he sees wrong in the world he wants to help change it, this brings him to write a book to stop the abuse of his neighbour by her stepfather. Peter is the younger brother to Henry, he always looks up to him and wants to help him with his innocent being the only thing that lets Henry have fun. Sheila is the best friend and work colleague of Susan, she enjoys herself a drink and has great banter with Henry. Glenn is the neighbour and police chief living next door to the Carpenter family, he has a stepdaughter that he is abusing though he position of power makes it nearly impossible for him to get investigated. Dr Daniels is the man that must treat Henry, he must help the family through the difficult decision.

Performances – Naomi Watts in the leading role is great through this film, we see how her character needs to develop after what happens to Henry. Jaeden continues to show us he is a fast-rising child star along with Jacob Tremblay who are both going to be talked about as a couple of the best of the current generations. Silverman, Morris and Pace give us good supporting performances throughout the film too.

Story – The story here follows a genius son that helps run the family to help take the pressure of his single mother, he plans long term and wants to make the world a better place, though when sees abuse he wants to step in and help. He doesn’t expect the short term though, leaving his legacy to his mother to help solve the abuse he sees the neighbour going through. We do have moments that make the children feel like they are in ‘Pay it Forward’ which does have a better message about, doing something to make the world a better place, this story does get that message over and does make you want to help bring calm to the world. if I was being honest with the way the story is told, I feel it would have been nice to mix the planning Henry does with the actual plan rather than showing his plan before the incident.

Crime – The film does have a crime base to everything going on, we get to see how Henry sees a crime being committed and the only way he can solve it is to have someone commit a crime for him.

Settings – The film shows us the simple life the Carpenter family are currently living and how Henry is happy with this even though he can make them rich with a blink of an eye, he wants family over anything.


Scene of the Movie – Take the shot.

That Moment That Annoyed Me – The kids are way to talent in the talent contest.

Final Thoughts – This is a film that has taken a beating by the critics and sure there are a couple of weaknesses in this film, but the core of the story is one of the most interesting ways to show a child genius doing the right thing in life, well-acted and one people should be giving a chance too.

 

Overall: Nice story about leaving a legacy.
  
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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated the PlayStation 4 version of Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order in Video Games

Mar 1, 2020 (Updated Mar 1, 2020)  
Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order
Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order
2019 | Action/Adventure, Fighting
Lightsaber Customisation (0 more)
Almost everything else (0 more)
Wasted Potential
So I just finished Jedi: Fallen Order and it's left me feeling confused. Not because of some complex twist or story revelation, but because on paper I should have loved every minute of this game. You take the parkour movement and sense of adventure from a game like Uncharted and you give it to a Jedi, who we follow during some of the darkest days in the Star Wars lore and what do you get?

Apparently you get something that doesn't feel like Star Wars.

I have a fair number of problems with this game, so I'm going to go ahead and list them and explain why they bothered me so much during my experience playing through Fallen Order.

First of all, when this game dropped and did pretty well commercially and critically, EA were commended in the games media for having the guts to release a single-player, story based Star Wars game with no online play. When the reviews dropped just before the game's release, this news got me really hyped as I have never been much for online gaming and much prefer story based games over anything else. Now whilst EA did give us a single-player, offline Star Wars story, they did so in such a sloppy, janky, half-finished fashion.

I lost count of the amount of times that I had to restart my game because of loading errors or game breaking bugs. Almost every time I would enter a new area the characters would initially appear in a T-pose position and remain that way for a good few seconds until I approached them. Onscreen prompts would often fail to appear making the game's already confusing exploration methods even more unclear. I have not seen this much pop-in in a videogame since the first version of No Man's Sky. Almost every area was covered in murky textures upon initially entering them, with some entire structures and areas failing to render. During a few boss fights, the AI character would fail to attack me and just stand still and no matter how many blows I would land on them, their health bar would not budge until I fully reloaded the level. This sort of thing was present during every one of my play sessions and at a few points the game became almost unplayable due to it's glaring technical glitches. Also, I got this game as a Christmas gift, so it has been out for a decent amount of time. A game of this calibre, that has been out for months at this point, from a major studio like Respawn and a publisher like EA, not to mention being from a major franchise like Star Wars, - the fact that it is in the current broken state that it's in is frankly unacceptable.

The next issue I had was the story and characters in the game. The game's protagonist Cal, is an unsympathetic, whiny bitch of a character that got on my nerves every time he opened his mouth. The rest of the crew were also pretty bland, unendearing and lacking in much personality. I grew up loving the Star Wars universe, yet I found myself trying in vain to skip almost every cutscene and really not giving a crap what happens to any one of the characters. The villains were unengaging and the other side characters like Cal's master and the old dude that left holograms for Cal to find got increasingly annoying every time they appeared. The only character I found engaging throughout the whole game was Sister Merrin.

I always thought Jedi Knights were supposed to be extremely capable, powerful warriors, yet at no point in this game do you ever feel powerful in any significant way. The whole time, you feel on par with the non descript enemies that you are fighting. While I agree that the last major AAA single-player Star Wars game, The Force Unleashed was too easy, at least you felt powerful while playing as that character. The combat never feels as satisfying as it should due to the lack of dismemberment. The decision not to allow the player to chop off limbs makes it feels more like you are hitting enemy shaped piñatas with a big stick, rather than welding a laser sword of pure, raw energy. I also felt that there was a lack of variation in the combos and moves-set and found myself watching the same animations over and again no matter what combination of buttons I was mashing. Every fight in this game is hard and not in a fun,challenging way, but instead in a grinding, irritating way. The ridiculously long loading times also made dying even more frustrating. If you are going to design a game where the player is going to die frequently, you HAVE TO have a snappy respawn system in place à la Super Meat Boy or Hotline Miami. (Especially when your fucking studio is called RESPAWN, but I digress.) They were clearly going for a more defensive, methodical approach to the combat system, which is fine, but they should have given you a choice between that and a more aggressive, offensive skill tree, meaning that more play styles could be catered to. Another majorly annoying thing was the way that the game justified unlocking new skills for Cal, with him having out-of-the-blue flashbacks at seemingly random points in the story where he would suddenly remember that he could wall-run or double-jump. I hate when games do this, it feels extremely lazy and unjustified within the context of the story that is being presented. Another thing that bothered me gameplay-wise was the checkpoint system. The whole refilling your health = respawning the enemies thing felt really arcady and often broke immersion.


Something else that I hate in games is when the game tries to pretend that it is an open world game rather than a linear experience, which this game does. I don't understand why you would want to masquerade as an open world game when that mechanic has been so oversaturated for this entire generation. After you play through the game's intro and get access to the ship, you are given the impression that you can choose what order to visit each planet and progress though the game. However this is not the case. When I was first given the choice to pick a planet, I chose Dathomir as I am a big Darth Maul fan and thought it would be cool to explore his home turf. I got there and was making my way through the clear-as-mud holomap when I got to a section where I could not progress. There was a jump that I just could not make no matter how many times I tried. After eventually getting fed up I had to look up a walkthrough to find out how to progress whereupon I learned that you actually need to go to the other planet first and gain an ability to make this jump. Now even if I did design my game so poorly that I let the player go to the wrong planet on their first travel, I would have at least had the decency to put in a prompt at the un-passable jump to let the player know that they don't have the skills to progress here yet and to go to the other planet and return here later. It could have been a voiceover from a crew member or even an immersion-breaking piece of text, but something would have been nice to prevent me having to look up a walkthrough to learn this fact. Witnessing this ineptitude in game design from such a major studio was shocking. So yeah, from that point on, - lesson learned, - I just followed the checkpoints to decide what my next planet would be to travel to, but then why even give players the illusion of choice in this? Why not just usher the player automatically to the next planet they need to visit after they return to the ship?

My final and biggest issue with this game is despite it being a Star Wars game, it never really felt like Star Wars. I noticed this during the first third of the game in the some of the character designs. Some of the side characters looked more akin to something from Ratchet & Clank than from the Star Wars universe. Then as I was playing through Kashyyyk and fighting spiders and giant slugs, I'm thinking to myself, I don't ever remember Luke Skywalker doing this and that dude lived and trained in a swamp for like a year. Then the shark was well and truly jumped. Upon revisiting Dathomir and finally being able to make some progress, a character literally raises bodies from the ground for you to fight. That's right, they put zombies in a Star Wars game. I thought since Disney had taken control of Star Wars, that they were way stricter than Lucas ever was about what does and doesn't get into the Star Wars universe, so whoever greenlit this zombie shit over at Disney should really get the boot. I can't quite believe that I'm saying this, but if you want a more authentic and higher quality Star Wars videogame experience, go play Battlefront 2. Sure it may have had an extremely messy launch and been marred with controversy ever since, but at least it feels like Star Wars.

There were a sparse few things that I did enjoy. As I mentioned above, Merrin was a fairly engaging and well acted character. The Lightsaber customisation was also pretty neat. I also enjoyed the music and (SPOILERS,) the brief appearance that Darth Vader makes. However the music is only great because it's the Star Wars score and whilst Vader's appearance as an unstoppable force was cool here, I personally feel like it was done better in Rogue One.

So yeah, I kind of feel like I played a different game to everyone else. I really wanted to fall in love with this game and I kept waiting for it to win me over, but unfortunately it never did. I think that there is potential here for something better, mostly owed to the interesting time period the game is set in on the Star Wars timeline, so I really hope that they take the few good elements that were present in Fallen Order and improve upon everything else for the sequel.
  
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Mara (13 KP) rated Cinder in Books

Dec 10, 2019  
Cinder
Cinder
Marissa Meyer | 2012 | Science Fiction/Fantasy, Young Adult (YA)
8
8.5 (96 Ratings)
Book Rating
Contains spoilers, click to show
Where to begin with my review? I guess I should start out by being completely honest and mentioning that I did not buy Cinder for myself, and I likely never would have either. After begging me to read it for a while, my best friend ended up buying me a copy for Christmas in the hope that I would give it a go. And to be fair to her, I did. Four times to be precise. The first three times I ended up giving up before chapter four. However, don't let that deter you. On my fourth attempt, I loved it! The only reason I can think of as to why I struggled the other times was because I was in a serious book hangover from another story. So I was a little reluctant to start a new story with characters I wasn't invested in yet, and a story I already knew. Or at least, I thought I did.
So let's start with the plot. Cinder is a retelling of Cinderella. Perhaps another reason for my lack of interest in the beginning as I've never really been a huge fan of that particular princess. What I do enjoy is a fresh twist on a well known story, so I should have known I would enjoy it if I gave it a chance. Like Cinderella, Cinder follows the story of a young girl who lives with her step-mother, and her two step-sisters, no love lost between them. In both, the girl leads a tough, though somewhat mundane life, right up until she meets her prince, and then things start to look up. Blah, blah, blah... We all know the story right? No. Marissa Meyer gives the traditional tale a new spin, and it was like reading the story for the first time. Because of this, I easily finished the story over one (busy) weekend. The story contained just the right mix of adventure, romance, and sci-fi to keep me hooked, even if -in places- the story seemed to drag a little. This was more than made up for with the explosive ending though. The story ends with enough unresolved conflict to keep you wanting more... And if you're anything like me, thankfully you don't have to wait months for the next one (It's called Scarlet BTW). Another great part of this story was the world building and backstory. At one point, the events of WW4 are mentioned, giving us a little insight as to how the world we know morphed into the one in the story. This also prevented the world from becoming too complicated when other races (The Lunars) are introduced, and helped blend the backstories of both races nicely. Lunars are the genetically mutated humans that live on the moon (Luna), and they have the ability to use a power known as "Glamour" to influence other's minds and make them see and believe what they want them to. This particular part impressed me as it was a clever way of introducing magic in an otherwise "normal" world. Because I'm a sucker for a bit of magic. The only real problem I had with this story was that the plot was somewhat predictable at times... For example, pretty much as soon as it was mentioned that there was once a princess who -if she was still alive- could usurp the Queen of the Lunars and restore peace to the two worlds... It was obvious that it was going to end up being Cinder. (This is confirmed at the end of the book).
Now, onto the characters! Meet our protagonist, Linh Cinder. Cinder is a sixteen-year-old living in New Beijing with her evil Step-mother and two step-sisters... But that's pretty much where the similarities with her and the traditional Cinderella end. Not only is our protagonist more than just a pretty face with a kind heart, she is a badass! Throughout the story she impressed me with her attitude, intelligence, and ability to call people out on their bullshit. Fair enough she came across a little whiny at times, but this can be overlooked when you remember she is pretty much still a child who has had a pretty rough life. Unable to remember her life before a crash that claimed the lives of her family, she was adopted by a man who soon died, leaving her at the mercy of his wife, who was not a fan of Cinder. Why, you ask? Well, Cinder is a cyborg, and that is unforgivable and clearly Cinder's fault... According to the step mother at least. Still, despite being shunned by most people who knew the truth about her, Cinder still manages to be a likable character. Yeah she has her flaws, but that's what I liked about her. She's realistic. She's embarrassed by the fact she is a cyborg, especially when she meets the handsome Prince Kai. It was frustrating at times to read scenes with these two, mainly because Cinder was reluctant to tell Kai about her being a cyborg, and it built a wall between them. I mean, I can see where she's coming from. It would be a nice change to just be a normal girl to someone after years of being told she was less. BUT DAMN GIRL! KAI IS A CINNAMON ROLL AND WOULD LOVE YOU EITHER WAY!!!
*Clears throat* Anyway, moving on... Now we can talk about Kai. Handsome, charming, clueless, Prince Kai. We meet Kai pretty early on in the story (first chapter in fact) and from the moment we meet him, we know he and Cinder are destined. Or at least I hope so... I haven't read the second book yet! The only child of the emperor, Kai will someday rule the Eastern Commonwealth. Unfortunately that day comes all too soon when his father contracts the plague and soon after dies, leaving the job to the young Prince. If I'm being completely honest, I was expecting him to crash and burn at some point, but I was pleasantly surprised when he managed to hack it, even going as far as to stand up to the Lunar Queen- A megabitch we will discuss later- despite the fact she could start a war that would cause chaos for the Earthlings. His character development was fun to read. He started as a charismatic prince with a rebellious streak, and by the end of the book he was an Emperor loyal to his people and smarter than he lets on. I was a little disappointed in his reaction to finding out Cinder was a cyborg (and a Lunar), but under the circumstances, he can be forgiven. I'm quite interested in how the rest of Emperor Kai's story is going to play out, especially as he seemed to have something planned at the end of the first book, but I have yet to see if my suspicions are correct about him.
Now time to talk about our main antagonist, Queen Levana AKA The Megabitch. As far as antagonists go, she isn't the most evil I've met, but she is one of the more interesting. Queen of the Lunars, she is a cold, flawless, evil lady, who hates technology, and is infamous for using her glamour to hide her true face. Her motives seem pretty simple. She wants to rule. As Queen of the Lunars, she can do this by marriage, or she can take it by force. She doesn't really seem to care which way she goes about it, but she does suggest a marriage alliance with Prince/Emperor Kai Puh-lease. He and Cinder are OTP. (Also, I have to praise Meyer for the lack of a love triangle here, even though it would have been easy enough to include one. Bless you, child!) For the majority of the story she seems to be cool and in control, which is worrying for those of us rooting for the heroes, but at the Ball Naturally Cinder manages to crack the flawless facade and give us a little insight to the Queen's weakness Score 1 for Cinder! I have a feeling though that the next time we see the Queen, she is going to up her game and really give our heroes some problems, but we shall see!
Overall, I really enjoyed Cinder and I'm glad that I gave it another go. I should really start listening when my friend suggests books to me. It was an entertaining, frustrating, and even heart-breaking story at times, but I loved it. Marissa Meyer has definitely earned another fan, and I cannot wait to get my hands on the rest of the series. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO MY SHIP. The book had a few issues of course, but not enough that I would hesitate to read the next book... Hopefully I'll get around to it soon! In the mean time, anyone debating reading Cinder, you should definitely do it! 100%. And if anyone -like me- is struggling to get into it... Stick at it! I swear it's worth it in the end!
  
Sheriff of Nottingham
Sheriff of Nottingham
2016 | Bluff, Card Game, Medieval
One neat thing about the board gaming hobby is how many new games are designed/created daily. So much innovation, creativity, and hype surrounds new releases and helps keep us gamers hooked! That being said, what happens to older games as time goes on? Can they still hold their own over the years? Do they still feel new and novel to first-time players who are getting to them late? The latter describes me with Sheriff of Nottingham. I only received it for Christmas two years ago, and it has sadly been sitting on my Shelf of Shame until recently. So now that I’ve finally gotten it to the table, how does it hold up? Keep reading to find out!

Disclaimer: I have the first edition of this game, so the pictures below do not reflect the art/component changes brought in the recently released second edition. -L

Sheriff of Nottingham is a party game of bluffing, negotiation, and set collection in which players are trying to earn the most money by bringing their goods (Legal or Contraband!) to market. However, before those goods can get to your merchant stand, they must be cleared to pass by the Sheriff of Nottingham. Are you honest in your declarations, or are you trying to sneak something past the town authority? Bluff, bribe, or negotiate your way to victory and collect the most gold!

To setup for a game of Sheriff of Nottingham, each player receives a merchant stand board and bag in their chosen color, 20 starting gold, and 6 Goods cards. The remaining Goods cards are placed in a draw pile, with 2 adjacent discard piles. Turn over 5 cards to each discard pile, select a starting Sheriff, and the game is ready to begin! Sheriff of Nottingham is played over a series of rounds, and each round is broken down into 5 phases: Market, Load Merchant Bag, Declaration, Inspection, and End of Round. Important note – the player acting as Sheriff for the round will only act in the Inspection phase of a round. During the Market phase, players have the opportunity to discard unwanted Goods from their hand in order to draw cards from the draw pile or either discard pile. New cards are drawn one at a time, and you will draw as many cards as you have chosen to discard. The cards you discard will be placed in either discard pile, in whatever order you choose.

The next phase, Load Merchant Bag, is pretty self-explanatory. All merchant players will select up to 5 cards from their hand to place in their merchant bag. Snap it closed, and place it in front of you for the next phase, Declaration. In this phase, players will take turns declaring what good they are bringing to market. You must say exactly how many cards you are bringing, and you may only declare 1 type of Legal good! Even if your bag has multiple types of goods, you must declare only 1 type. Here is where your bluffing skills come into play! Once all players have made their declarations, the game moves to the Inspection phase, and it is now time for the Sheriff to act! In this phase, the Sheriff will get to decide if they wish to inspect any of the merchant bags, and merchants will have the opportunity to negotiate or bribe the Sheriff to not inspect their bag, or to inspect an opponent’s bag instead. If you make a deal with the Sheriff, you must hold up your end of the agreement!


Once the Sheriff has made their decision, they will either inspect bags or allow them to pass. If you are allowed to pass, you will take back your bag, open it, and add all goods to your merchant stand in their corresponding locations. Legal goods are known to all players, but Contraband goods are kept face-down. If the Sheriff chose to inspect your bag, they will open it and reveal the cards inside. If you were in fact telling the truth, and the cards inside are exactly what you declared, you add them to your merchant stand and the Sheriff will pay you a penalty for each Good card in your bag. If you were lying, a few things happen. First, any goods that were truthfully declared will go to your merchant stand as normal. Any goods that you lied about are confiscated by the Sheriff, and placed onto either discard pile. You then will pay the Sheriff a penalty fee for each confiscated good! The final phase, End of Round, has all players draw back up to 6 cards in hand, and the Sheriff title passes to the next player. The game continues in this fashion until all players have been the Sheriff twice (or three times in a 3-player game). Points are counted up – from your goods in your merchant stand, any gold coins you possess, and any bonus points for majority of Legal goods compared to opponents. Once all points have been tallied, the player with the highest score wins!

I know that I have said before that I generally don’t like bluffing games, but I think that Sheriff of Nottingham might be an exception. Yes, in some cases you will have to bluff about the contents of your merchant bag, but the ability to bribe/negotiate with the Sheriff takes some focus off the actual bluffing part. Can you convince the Sheriff to inspect another player’s bag just because you are trying to hinder that player? Or do you try to get the Sheriff to inspect your own bag, because then they will have to pay you a penalty fee for your honesty (this round, at least). It feels like there is more strategic gameplay here than simple bluffing, and I like the opportunity to strategize instead of relying solely on my (admittedly horrendous) poker-face.

Another thing that I really like about Sheriff of Nottingham is that it can technically be categorized as a party game, but it doesn’t feel like a typical party game to me. It takes strategy to play, and doesn’t just rely on crude/adult humor for laughs. This game really engages all players at all times, as you’re constantly watching your opponents, keeping track of what goods they seem to be collecting, and trying to catch them in a lie. The gameplay itself is pretty streamlined and straightforward, and that just helps to make it flow naturally and logically. The playing time is listed as 60 minutes, but it doesn’t feel like a long game to me at all. It’s just a light, fun, and entertaining game for really any type of game night.

Let’s talk components for a minute. Again, I have the first edition of the game, so I cannot speak as to any component changes in the second edition. But overall, the quality of the first edition is pretty nice! The merchant stand boards are nice, thick cardboard, and are colorful and clear. Perhaps my favorite part of the boards is they each have a turn order reference on them. Not that the gameplay is that complicated, but it’s nice to just have that quick guide. The Goods cards are good quality and feel nice in hand. The artwork is mostly pretty simple, but I like that, since the crux of the gameplay is in the player interactions. The cardboard coins are chunky, and the insert doubles as a draw/discard pile organizer – which to me is a lifesaver! Nothing bothers me more than unruly stacks of cards. The merchant bags are nice and mostly functional. My biggest issue with them is that sometimes the snaps are a little hard to open, and it feels like you might tear the bag if you pull on them too hard. To alleviate that, I just don’t have players actually close the snap, instead just folding over the flap, and that works just as well! Great production quality in my opinion.

So if I seem to like this game, why did I only give it a 4 out of 6? The simple answer to that is that I do like the game, but I don’t love it. It’s fun and serves its purpose well, but it’s not a game that I am dying to pull out every game night. It’s one that will stay in my collection for sure, because there are some occasions that are just perfect for it. But it’s not one that will ever make its way to my Top 10. All in all, it holds up well for being an ‘older’ game, but it doesn’t exactly have me jumping up and down to play. That’s why Purple Phoenix Games gives this one an 11 / 18.
  
Christmas Lights
Christmas Lights
2018 | Abstract Strategy, Memory
A Christmas game? Me?? I have never really been super into Christmastime. My wife (and kids obvs) are mega Christmas fiends, and I am trying to get more into the spirit all the time. So when a call for reviewers went out for this one, I wanted to give it a shot especially now during mid-December. For my wife, of course. Certainly not for me… Certainly not for me.

Christmas Lights is a card game for two to six players that has each player attempting to organize their tangle of light strands into some sort of order. However, as the lights aren’t yet on players are working in the dark. Therefore players cannot see the lights they are untangling and will need help from other players along the way.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup a game shuffle and place out the Event, Pattern, and Bulb card decks into their piles. Deal each player five Bulb cards face-down and two Pattern cards. Each player will also be given a random Character card and player aid card. Whomever is dealt the Santa character will be the first player. The players will consult their Pattern cards and choose one to begin working on initially. The game is now ready to begin!
On a turn a player has the opportunity to take four different actions, in their specific order: Play, Swap, Sale, and Refill. To Play one or more cards, simply choose it/them from hand and place it/them down to begin or continue the strand pictured on the first Pattern card in exact sequence order. Should a player wish to Swap cards with another player, they simply take the swap card from their hand and grab whichever card they please from an opponent’s hand to be placed in their own. Next the player may offer a card from their hand to be sold to other players during the Sale phase. Should another player wish to purchase the card, they spend not money but information to the seller. This information comes in the form of answers to yes/no questions about cards in the active player’s hand. Wait, why, you ask? Because player hands in this game are played facing away from the player, exactly like are played in Hanabi. That’s right, players do not see the cards in their own hands, but rather every other player’s hand. Once some or all of these phases have been played, the active player will need to Refill their hand back up to five cards. It is now the next player’s turn.

Each of these steps will need to be taken in order. Should a player not wish to Swap, for example, they may not hold a Sale and then decide to Swap afterward.

Some Bulb cards are special. These include the Broken Bulb, the Bubble Bulb, and the Plug. A player may place a Broken Bulb anywhere in their strand sequence as a temporary placeholder, but it will need to be covered up by the correctly-colored Bulb card in the future before the player is able to score the strand. The Bubble Bulb is essentially a Wild Bulb and can be played in place of any colored Bulb. However, once played it will remind the player to draw and play an Event card immediately. These Event cards may be either good or bad for the active player, so there is risk in playing the wild Bubble Bulbs. Once the first strand is completed per the appropriate Pattern card, the player will need to play a Plug card in order to connect their first strand to their next. Then the player will be able to begin work on their second strand.


Play continues in this fashion of blind play and deduction of held cards until one player successfully completes both of their Pattern cards. Every player will be able to take the same amount of turns, and if there is a tie between players the used Broken and Bubble Bulb cards will be taken into consideration to determine the winner.
Components. This is a card game. There are a lot of cards. The cards are all great quality, and though I have seen reports of flimsy stock or even see-through quality thickness, I have not had this issue (though I believe I have the second edition of the game, so that might be a difference existing between the editions). The art on the cards is very cute and endearing. Each color of bulb is also a different shape so our colorblind friends should have an easier time playing as well. Each card is laid out well and I have no complaints about components at all.

The gameplay is such that I believe players will either love or hate. Not being able to see the cards in your hand can certainly be stressful and frustrating, but it is a very light card game. Get over it. Again, if you have played Hanabi before, you know the feeling. But it changes the game so drastically when you have to remember what’s in your hand at all times, and when players are swapping with you left and right it is definitely easy to forget what’s going on in your hand. Not that I ever had that problem… Okay, it happens all the time, but I just laugh it off.

I do love this little game and am so happy I took a chance on it. Though I am still learning to love Christmas (Halloween is my jam), this game has a ton going for it. In addition to the game I have loosely described in this review Christmas Lights comes with a booklet that has rule sets for 12 different games that can be played with the included components. TWELVE EXTRA GAME MODES. That’s crazy! So when purchasing Christmas Lights people are actually purchasing 13 games in one box, with two of those modes being for Solo players. The variety and replayability here is off the charts and I am excited to play through the other game modes as soon as I can, and I know my wife will be into as well.

That said, having a Christmas-themed game that delights my wife and I equally is certainly something that I can easily recommend. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a cheery 10 / 12 for its portability, variability, cute art, and great game play. If you see it in stores, pick up a copy. I am going out on a limb and saying that you could even play this game when it’s NOT Christmastime and still have a great experience with it. If you are looking for something a little different and like Hanabi but wish for something else, give Christmas Lights a shot. Hopefully you will find it as charming as we both do. Oh, and a little pro tip: pour yourself a mug of chai and grab a gingerbread cookie whilst playing. Not necessary, but it certainly works for us. Happy Holidays, ALL holidays, everyone!
  
TM
Take My Hand (Take My Hand, #1)
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
This is my first experience with a book by Nicola Haken. The synopsis sounded promising and I have been looking for a new series to read, so I thought I would give this one a go.

This story is of two people trying to start their lives over after terrible events that occurred in each of their lives. They get thrown together and together they learn how to love...again.

The story is primarily set in London, so that's amazing! I'm obsessed with London and all things British, so I was SOOOOO excited for this book. I wanted to fall in LOVE with this book, and these characters, but at best I only fell in LIKE with this book. Sigh.

Dexter and Emily are great characters. They have the tormented past, the rocky relationship, and undying love for one another. Okay so it sounds like this book has everything a book needs. But still... I just couldn't fall in love, and let me tell you why.

1) Dexter is from the U.S.A. so when he moves to London, he clearly doesn't understand all of the lingo and slang that the English use. Which is fine. Emily used a lot of these slang words, "ginger minger" being an example of one, and so the narrator would pause and explain what each one meant. This was very helpful throughout the story. However, this is the part that bothers me. Throughout the story when Dex would have a chapter and be talking sometimes I would get confused and he started to sound like Emily to me. I felt like the two were blending together.

2) There were several times throughout this book I wanted to literally reach into my kindle and slap Emily. I understand she's never really been in a relationship before, and I understand she's socially awkward, but my god! It's like this girl is from another planet and she doesn't understand human interactions, AT ALL! She blushes at everything - even when it's not sexual, she doesn't know how to talk to people, and she doesn't know how to be in a relationship. If the guy is a alcoholic and throws stuff at the wall, and runs out on you every time he's scared. You drop him and run. It just didn't seem realistic at all.

He drank and ran out on her when she was in a strange country with a strange woman she'd never met, and he was just like, peace out. Then she had the nerve to feel sorry. He kept secrets from her and she had the nerve to scold herself for feeling that way. It just didn't feel real to me. I felt like she gave in to him too easily. Now, before you all comment like crazy about how I don't understand alcoholics and how I don't know how they operate and how I don't understand addiction, let me just tell you this... You're wrong. I understand, and I understand better than some. I was a teenage alcoholic. It ruined my life and it took me YEARS to get it back together. SO I GET IT.

3) Now that all that's out of the way on to the next. I didn't like that Emily was so clearly afraid to say SEX or PENIS, or VAGINA. If you can't say it or talk about it, you shouldn't be doing it. She really needed to grow up. I understand that some people just don't feel comfortable talking about it, but at some point you need to draw a line. Emily was just a little too chaste for my preference and I think the description of the sex scenes from Emily's perspective were out of place for this very reason. The chapters where she was the narrator, she shouldn't have been comfortable describing what was going down. I feel like the scene should have been set up and then a fade to black would have been more appropriate.

4) Lastly, Rachel... UHHHH MOST ANNOYING CHARACTER EVER!! At first I thought she was badass! Here you have this girl who has lived her life in a wheelchair and has had to compensate for it by being independent, coloring her hair funky colors, and getting tattoos. Awesome! Right... WRONG. She then opened her mouth. OMG! She's not independent and trying to stand out, she's just down right offensive, and she didn't seem to fit at all in this story.

I know by now you're probably thinking "Why did you give this book three stars if you clearly hated it." Right? Well, I didn't hate it, at all. I liked it, it evoked emotion, it made me think and it made me feel. Those things are SOOO important when writing a book. This author has some definite promise, and I know there are a couple more books in this series. I will probably read them since this book ended on a cliffhanger (which was awesome, btw). I want to know what happens to these characters, and I'm hoping they both grow up a bit in the upcoming books.

My one last thing I'd like to point out is the editing. Now, I don't know if I got a pre-edited copy or if I got the final draft. So, I'm not considering the editing in my rating, because I can't be certain. I do feel that this book needs some serious proofreading, but again it may not be that way in a purchased copy so again don't hold that minor detail against the author, because no one is perfect.

I will definitely read other books by this author. She has a great writing style, her story flows very nicely, there aren't any dull moments, and her story is one that tears at the heartstrings. I in no way mean this review to sound as if I'm attacking her, when in fact its the complete opposite. I commend her for writing this book, and I think she did it well. Plus, the most important thing EVER, her writing made me think and feel which is what good writing should do. So, I implore you to give this book a chance don't let my feelings and observations deter you from reading a book with great potential that you may absolutely love!
  
Failure to Protect (Dre Thomas & Angela Evans #4)
10
9.5 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
I don't normally read legal thrillers, but there was something about Failure to Protect by Pamela Samuels Young that drew me in. I think it's because I was bullied as a child, but mostly because I'm a mom now. My oldest son has high functioning Autism and ADHD. He was bullied one year in school, and his school seemed to not do anything about it. Failure to Protect was a very emotional read, and I'm really glad I decided to give it a try.

The plot for Failure to Protect was solid. Nine-year-old Bailey Lewis is constantly being bullied at her school. When something major happens, Bailey's mother, Erika, decides to sue the elementary school. However, the principal, Darcella, is more concerned with keeping the school's good record intact instead of worrying about bullied students. The principal will do whatever it takes to make sure her school's stellar reputation doesn't get soiled even if it means doing some bullying herself.

Pamela Samuels Young did such a stellar job with the world building. Her knowledge of the court process and justice system is fantastic. Young is an attorney, and it's obvious she knows her stuff. Unfortunately, the subject of bullying in schools is all too real, and sadly, many schools are more worried about their reputation and all the paperwork and time a bullying case would take than actually caring about a bullied student. This fiction novel reads like a true story. There are a few plot twists which make this book even more interesting! Failure to Protect also answered every question I had. There's no speculation in Failure to Protect, and there's also no cliffhangers. This book is part of a series, but it's the first book I've read in the series, and I feel like it works as a standalone.

The pacing in Failure to Protect is done perfectly. Every single paragraph, and every single chapter flowed smoothly into the next. Not once did I want to put this book down. It had my attention throughout! I was also a fan of the short chapters which I felt helped with the pacing.

The best thing about Failure to Protect, besides everything, were the characters. Each character had such a unique personality which really helped them to feel like a real person rather than just a character in a novel. I loved little Bailey, and I just wanted to hug her and let her know that I'd protect her against her bully. It was heartbreaking reading about all she went through in her young life from losing her father not too long ago to being relentlessly bullied in school and online. I also felt horrible for her mother Erika. She also went through two horrible tragedies including one a parent should never have to go through. I was constantly in her corner, and I kept rooting for her throughout the whole bullying ordeal with the school. Erika felt like what happened to Bailey was mostly her fault, and I wanted to tell Erika that sometimes it's not easy to know everything about our children. Dre was my favorite character. I enjoyed his thought process and how passionate he was about everything. It was obvious how much he loved his goddaughter Bailey. I loved how Angela grew as a character when it came to her relationship with Erika. At first, she wasn't big on Erika, but it was obvious how much she did end up caring for her. Angela and Jenny were both fantastic attorneys, and I loved how they were willing to dedicate all their time and knowledge for Bailey's case. Darcella, the principal, was such a horrible person. Young did a fantastic job at creating Darcella to be the antagonist. So many times I was so angry with Darcella. I wanted to just shake her and ask her why she didn't do anything for Bailey. Darcella does explain why she decided to overlook the bullying, but I just wanted to know why she bothered to work in a profession dealing with children if she didn't have any empathy. I was so annoyed with Darcella. I was also annoyed with Ethan Landers, Darcella's attorney. I know he was just doing his job at the end of the day, but it wasn't easy to read about how he could just side with the enemy. Zola, Bailey's teacher, was also an interesting character. She was so conflicted about doing the right thing, and I liked reading about why she chose to do what she did. Apache, Dre's best friend, was a minor character in Failure to Protect, but he gets a mention because I loved his scenes. He was such a character, and I loved how comical he was especially when it came to helping out Dre.

Trigger warnings in Failure to Protect include bullying, racism, sexual situations (although not too graphic), suicide, death, lying, alcohol, mentions of past drug use and selling, profanity, and mentions of violence.

All in all, Failure to Protect is an emotionally well written novel. It would make a fantastic Lifetime movie - at least that's what I kept thinking whilst reading it. The story line is something that unfortunately is so commonplace in a lot of schools. I would definitely recommend Failure to Protect by Pamela Samuels Young to those aged 18+. I think this is a book that everyone should read and can relate to on at least some level. If you do decide to read Failure to Protect (which you should), please know that you'll feel a vast range of emotions!
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(A special thank you to Pamela Samuels Young for providing me with an eBook of Failure to Protect in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.)
  
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
2005 | Comedy, Sci-Fi
Making films from books has always been a tricky proposition. For every film adaptation that hits it big such as Jaws, Lord of the Rings and The Silence of the Lambs, there are several that fail to work or are downright disasters such as The Bonfire of the Vanities.

In the film The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the late Douglas Adams first book in his classic series has finally arrived on the big screen after many delays getting started and a successful version on PBS.

The film stars Martin Freeman as Arthur Dent, a simple, easy going fellow whose entire goal in life is to stop the demolition of his beloved home from those who want to put a new highway in its current location.

As Arthur attempts to block the demolition, his good friend Ford Prefect (Mos Def), arrives and stalls the demolition with free beer for the work crew. Thinking he has been saved, Arthur is puzzled when Ford takes him to a local pub and buys rounds for the entire pub, saying the world is ending in a few minutes.

Ford in reality is an alien visiting the Earth and learns that the Earth is about to be destroyed to make way for a new galactic expressway. Before he knows what has happened, Arthur is whisked away seconds before the destruction of the Earth by Ford as they end up on a ship of the demolition fleet.

After a series of bizarre events and a narrow escape, Ford and Arthur end up on a passing ship that has been stolen by galactic president Zaphod Beeblebrox (Sam Rockwell), and Trillian (Zooey Deschanel), who just happens to be the lady of Arthur’s dreams and who is also unaware that the Earth has been destroyed in the short amount of time since she left Earth to explore with Zaphod.

As if this was not enough, the ship also has a depressed android named Marvin (Warwick Davis and voiced by Allan Rickman).

It is at this point that the film goes horribly wrong as the amusing and interesting setup quickly goes nowhere. While the crew is sent on a series of quests, each becomes less interesting than the one before it, and the very bland production values of the film are exposed. The sets are very basic and look as if they were borrowed from many of the budget driven British Sci-Fi that frequents PBS. Somehow the idea of an alien room being nothing but a rusty wall and a slapped up sign just does not cut it for me. At times I thought I was watching a home video production done by fans or another late night B movie rather than a major studio summer release.

As bad as the sets were what is even more amazing was the at times laughable attempts at visual effects where it was obvious that the actors were standing in front of screens as the matting lines were visible.

I tried to put a lot of this off to the idea that the film was trying to be quirky in keeping with the book, but quirky is not an excuse for underwhelming effects, basic sets, and lousy costuming and make up effects as I half expected to see zippers on the costumes of many aliens that looked like they were cobbled from parts at a hardware store.

So now that I have covered my issues with the look of the film, let’s look at the story itself. In a word: boring. I could not believe how dull and lazy the film became, and how the staff seemed to be going through the motions. The cast has zero chemistry and Rockwell is so frantic that his character is annoying to watch. After five minutes of his rock star in the spotlight style shtick, I wanted to strangle the character or at least get him on some serious medication.

Director Garth Jennings also has many scenes that simply go nowhere or drag on only to cut at odd times resulting in a complete and utter lack of pacing.

I am a big fan of the book series and I had very high hopes for this film. Sadly the disaster that resulted may very well have Douglas Adams spinning in his grave as his classic work was destroyed. I have to wonder how much of his original draft for the script that was used as the basis for the film survived.

While extreme die hard fans may enjoy the film, even they are likely to be disappointed and I can only hope that if they try to make the next book in the series, “The Restaurant at the End of the Universe”, they do a much better job then this effort, as this is one awful film adaptation.
  
Mutants
Mutants
2019 | Card Game, Fighting, Video Game Theme
Boy, we have some crazy ideas when it comes to what the world will look like in the future. Flying cars? Probably. Robot house butlers? Maybe. Mutant fighters that can be formed immediately and placed into battle seconds after “birth?” Now, that’s a stretch. But, embrace the stretch here, because Mutants is all about it.

Mutants is a crazy-themed deck building, hand management, fighting, card game for one to four players. Usually in this instance I would put together a Solo Chronicles review, but I wanted to first get the multiplayer rules down and then delve into solo. In any case, this game pits players against each other in a royal rumble where controlling mutants to fight one another most effectively and efficiently will earn the player riches galore. Come check out the world of Mutants.


To setup, well, there are many steps. The biggest and perhaps most confusing step is creating the decks of mutants that will be used by players throughout the game. I will recommend you follow the rulebook for drafting your team, or simply use one of the provided pre-constructed team suggestions. Otherwise, place the main board on the table, along with the power and scoring tokens for each player. Players choose their player board according to color chosen, take their starting deck, and divide their Advanced Mutant deck into three piles, with the top card flipped face-up. Players draw a hand of six Basic Mutant cards (one of each type initially) and the battle may begin!
Mutants is played over five rounds, tracked on the main board. Each round encompasses three phases: Crush the Competition, Move Active Mutant, and Take Action. As the game progresses, the power tokens for players will be moving up and down the Power Track. If, at the start of the current player’s turn, an opponent’s power token is located in one of the last three Power Track spaces (named the Dread Zone), and the current player’s token is on the Fury Space (furthest along the Track), then the current player will score immediate bonus points by Crushing the Competition.

The first turn will not utilize the Move Active Mutant phase, but on subsequent phases, this will need to be resolved. A player’s board consists of three main slots: Left Mutant, Active Mutant, and Right Mutant. Mutants may only enter the Active Mutant slot in the middle, so if a Mutant is currently placed in that slot, it will need to be moved either to the Left or Right slot, at the player’s discretion. Should all slots be filled, one of the Mutants will need to be moved off the board to make room for the new one. Once this happens, the Mutant’s Leave Ability (at the bottom of the Mutant’s card) will activate. This could give the player more Power, some Attacking abilities, or other unique abilities. Once a card leaves their slot and applies their Leave Ability, it is placed in the Discard space at the bottom of the player board.

Now that the Active Mutant slot is available, the current player may choose from one of the Take Action choices: Deploy Mutant, Breed, or Incubate. To Deploy Mutant, simply play a card from hand to the Active Mutant slot, activating the Deploy Ability once placed. These Deploy Abilities could range from cycling (draw a card from the deck and discard a card from the hand), gaining Power, or even reactionary abilities. Breeding Mutants requires the player to discard two cards from hand whose type icons match those of one of the face-up Advanced Mutant cards atop the player board. Discarding these cards allows the Advanced Mutant to enter play on the Active Mutant slot. Finally, the player may instead choose to Incubate an Advanced Mutant from one on offer by discarding one card (and it does NOT need to match icons) and placing the chosen Advanced Mutant on the Incubator slot on the left side of the board. These incubated Advanced Mutants will be placed atop the draw deck at the end of the round, so it will be drawn during the next round.

If at any time a player needs to draw a card from their draw deck and there are no cards remaining, they will first choose a card from their Discards to Freeze, by placing it in the appropriate Cryo Freezer on the right side of the player board. Frozen cards will be scored at game end, and can really boost a final score.

At the end of the round players will perform a few more tasks and setup for the next round. First, the Power Tokens are scored according to which is in first place along the Track and so on, using the red and black VP numbers printed on the main board. The round marker is advanced one level, and each Mutant in Incubation is moved to the players’ draw decks. Players then draw a new hand of six cards, and Power Tokens are reset according to the previous round’s placement, in reverse order. The player whose Power Token is now furthest behind will be the starting player for the next round.


Play continues in this fashion of moving Mutants around, taking actions, and jockeying for supremacy along the Power Track until the end of the fifth round. At that time, the final VPs are awarded for the Power Track placement, and all cards in the Cryo Freezer are tallied. The player with the most VP at the end of the game is the winner of Mutants!
Components. Okay, I have some thoughts here, and more than just, “oh hey, they are nice.” The game comes with a bevvy of cards, some wooden tokens, and a couple “boards.” I used quotations because only the main board is an actual board. The player boards are slick cardstock and, while functional, feel a little cheap. The cards themselves are all super great and the artwork is appropriate and quite excellent. I have a couple issues with some other components, however. The Power and Score Tokens are the only wooden components in the box and I just do not understand them. They look like Sauron/Spartan helmets, or someone who is crying because they just shoved a fork into the power outlet. Now, there are four of each type in different colors, and though the colors aren’t the primary colors we have grown to accept for our player colors, they have swapped out the green for purple, and I think the game is colorful enough to include more exciting colors. So I’m not a fan of the Power and Score Tokens. Similarly, I don’t really understand the insert that comes with the game. I see that it is setup to hold TONS of cards, and maybe there were/are plans for many many expansions, but the base game can be housed in two of the 14 total card slots provided. Also, I have no idea what is going on in the middle of the insert, but I also don’t own any of the expansions yet, so hopefully those molded spots are actually meant to hold something. Everything else, though, is great!

For me, art and components are very high on my list of items that affect how much I enjoy a game. Now, I can live with the wonky Power and Score Tokens, and I suppose I don’t mind carrying around a giant box of cards, when the game could ALMOST fit inside a box the size of Bohnanza or Point Salad or the like. That said, I have definitely enjoyed my plays of Mutants. The rulebook is a little daunting at first, mostly because the theme is unique and the game style is similarly different to me. Once the game gets into the thick of it, though, strategy and tactics take over so strongly. Each card is carefully considered for its usability as either a card to be played or discarded for varying effects. I love that about this game.

This is certainly more than a “deck builder,” even though deck building and hand management are at the forefront of the mechanics here. You aren’t necessarily building your deck and cycling through it quickly enough for me to consider this a true deck builder alone, but using each card for different purposes certainly increases the replayability with Mutants. When is the best time to freeze a card versus keeping it in the deck for its abilities? Do I move off the Left Mutant or keep it around for another turn? Why did I pick these Advanced Mutants during the draft, when I have crappy supporting cards? Every play of Mutants has been a wonderful challenge of maximizing my deck and choosing just the right opponents to attack with my monstrous creations. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a horrifically delightful 5 / 6. I hate having to bling out my games, but I think I will probably try to find replacements for the Power and Score Tokens (though maybe a little spray paint will help?), and look into grabbing one or all of the expansions so that I may be able to fill up that confusing insert. I look forward to my next games of this, and to getting the word out on this little gem I finally tried.