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A Bibliophagist (113 KP) rated Space Opera in Books

Jan 25, 2020 (Updated Jan 25, 2020)  
Space Opera
Space Opera
Catherynne M. Valente | 2018 | Science Fiction/Fantasy
4
7.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
Fun writing (2 more)
Creative
Witty
Overwritten (3 more)
Lacking plot
Disjointed and distracted
Boring
Technicolor Encyclopedia entry
Space Opera seems to be a book, that based on other reviews, you either love or hate. The love reviewers can't seem to tell me why they love it, most attempting to replicate the style of the author and relying on a menagerie of adjectives to express themselves. "A glitter punk, Eurovision romp!" "Technicolor whirlwind!" but not actually saying WHY they liked it, or just saying "well you didn't get the humor". The ones who disliked it are pretty clear, and as I struggled with this book I found I agreed with their complaints. However, I have to thank the sheer number of DNFs from the disliked group for causing me to, ironically, finish it. I hate DNFing books, to begin with, but when I saw just how many bad reviews didn't make it through, it felt as bad as the good reviews not actually reviewing anything. So I powered through, and honestly, it was worth finishing. The author really got back on track and it was a great ending.

    Valente has in fact given us a Eurovision, glitter punk, electric baby with Douglas Adams, her writing fantastical and humorous, her characters vapid but in a washed-out musician kind of way. She really thought about this book, creating droves of aliens and probably destroying a number of thesauri to bring them to life. We follow Decibel Jones of the "oh you haven't heard of it, well we used to be a thing" Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. A washed-up, no longer active glitter punk band who is an amalgam of every band you probably are thinking of when trying to grasp what that description means.
      The book opens with a wonderfully witty description of how there is in fact other life out there in the universe, life is easy to come by, they've just been off doing a galactic war and while they were gone we kind of popped up. Life is stupid. This part is the best part of the book. The humor is on point, the prose magnificant. She is spot on and very pointed in her argument for why war happens. It's people vs meat, and how does one determine something isn't meat, but in fact sentient? Well, no one really figured that out, hence the galactic war, but NOW post-war they think they've figured it out. Intergalactic Music competition. Makes sense, only something sentient could create music right?
    Well, this year is a special year because Earth is invited, we've been deemed "may be sentient", but questionable enough that they'd rather not let us just hang out and become annoying someday. So we have to present a band and performance for consideration. We just have to not place last. If we don't place last, we're part of the club and we'll be a-ok. If we place last, we'll be destroyed, because they already think we're annoying and that will mean we're meat. People vs meat remember?
     So, one day everyone on the planet earth, everyone, awake or sleeping is visited by the blue birdlike projection of our assigned guides, the Esca, and alien species that are new to the whole being accepted as a sentient thing, and will guide us through the competition. Which it is now telling us about, Suprise! They've chosen a list of musicians they think will do well, however it's outdated and only one band is really able to do it, the has-beens, who are they, Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. Time was rough on our glam-punk friends as it tends to be on musicians, they lost the third member about a decade ago, the two remaining no longer talk. Decibel is a trainwreck, and Oort St Ultraviolet is now just a dad who very much wants to be a regular dude. But now they're being whisked off into space to sing for the world's salvation.
     Sounds pretty fun right? This plus Douglas Adams type prose and humor? A real knock out. Unfortunately, that story I just described takes up... maybe a quarter of the book, MAYBE. You can pull the main story out and put it into a book that might be too small to be a novella. Because of this, the backstory, development, and exploration of these characters are slim to nothing. There is some mind you, but very little. It isn't until the 180pg mark or so that Valente actually decides to focus on the plot, giving very little time to do the entire Grand Prix, the actual competition takes up a page. A 288-page book about a singing competition and only 1-2 pages is actually the singing competition. Tack on another 10 maybe for the weird cocktail death party right before, that didn't have enough attempted death to make any real point of it, plus maybe another 5-10 scattered throughout the book on the back story and leading up to the story, and we've got MAYBE 25 pages of the actual plot. My math is wrong, I know, but it sure FEELS like this.
   So, in a 288-page book, with 25 pages being the actual story, what are the other 263 pages? It was the author being somewhat... I don't mean to sound mean, but full of herself? She tried WAY too hard on this style she was going for. It felt like an "oh, you liked that opening chapter, didn't you? You totally read it out loud to your boyfriend, well here let me give it to you again, and again, and ... again". This book suffers from a severe case of needing to be edited. Of someone saying "that's enough now dear, but what about the story". Every few pages of the backstory of the plot we got were met with full chapters, sometimes multiple of Valente describing yet another alien species she's created, in yet another chain of witty simile and metaphor. To the point where sometimes I no longer knew what was happening, they were all interchangeable, which alien are we talking about now? It went on and on and on, and I never knew how such humorous writing could be just so soul suckingly boring. When she ran out of aliens it was describing previous grand prix's and how the aliens sang. In the exact same, formulaic, witty simile, witty simile, witty simile. Don't get me wrong, there were some absolute gems in here. Some that made me laugh out loud. But it's all about the ratio. I would trade in a heartbeat the ratio in this book. 263 pages of plot, and 25 pages of aliens described in witty simile. It took everything in my power after the third alien chapter to not skim. But she fit so much into a sentence that I was scared somewhere hiding would be a plot point (spoiler alert, there wasn't, skim away).
   Then around the 180 page mark, a flip was switched, it was almost as if she went "crap, a story!" the adjective use was slimmed down dramatically and we actually got more than one chapter in a row with a plot point. But at this point, it was too late, the end of the book was hurdling at us and very little had happened and the book pretty much fizzled out with an "oh yeah, the Grand Prix happened". Mind you, the finale was very heartwarming and I liked it a lot. I just wish I hadn't had to read a full chapter about hairbrush interspecies sex to get there, and instead had more of it. But ironically, the hairbrush sex had more plot advancement that the majority of the book.
    The ending did, however, for one moment, make me forget that I had just read an encyclopedia of descriptors and was happy for a few minutes. So good on her for that. That proves to me that she can write more than glittery descriptions, which then made me sad I didn't have more of that writing. With just a spattering of the gold of her opening chapters. I am glad I finished the book, the story, what little there was, was worth the read. However, I have no desire to read any other of Valente's writing now, and if there was a sequel, I just don't think I have it in me to read another 263 pages of description. Cool idea, good ability, just terribly executed. She could easily have released a separate book, expanding on a handful of species she established in the book, like an alien compendium, and I would have read it, and laughed, and been okay because I went into it expecting it. But I went into this wanting a story, not a neon throwup encyclopedia of just how "oh so creative" Valente is. That came off harsh, I know, but they blew past the fine line of interesting and well into the self-serving, look what I can do, territory. What suffered for it wasn't just a large number of DNFs, and my sanity for a few days, but an actually interesting, fun, Eurovision, glitter punk, heartwarming story about loss, life, how stupid it is, how beautiful it is, and why we should fight for it. It's in there, hiding beneath the layers and layers of word vomit. I want that story. Please release a second edition that is just that, the opening, and say... 3-5 of your favorite aliens Valente, I promise I'll give it another try if you do.
  
Love, Death & Robots
Love, Death & Robots
2019 | Action, Animation, Comedy
CGI is amazing (1 more)
The Perfect Mix of Morbid Humour and Gore
The episodes are so short! (0 more)
A Masterpiece of the Weird and Fantastical
This is going to be a long one, I'm going to review each episode as they aren't linked or related in any way, but just know, they are all gorgeous works of art and you should totally go watch the whole thing ?.


Beyond the Aquila Rift - CGI was beautiful from the moment it started, I was like 'shiiiit this series is going to be everything I love'. This one is about a crew making a delivery in space, however nothing quite goes to plan. For me, it had a very 'Mass Effect' feel with the FTL travel. I was not expecting a full out sex scene in the first 6 minutes but then again the episodes are on average only 16 minutes long. It was rauncy yet somehow, still quite tasteful, but as with most animated stuff there was an excessive amount of topless boob shots. I won't spoil it, but it ended up as a horrific mind fuck that left a shiver down my spine ?.

Secret War - Again, CGI was epic and the story was the perfect mix of unsettling, gory, and tragic. It follows a platoon of Red Army soldiers who are hunting down mysterious 'monsters'. There's blood, there's guts, a guy has an arm off at one point - what more could you ask for?

Sonnie's Edge - Immediately feels hellishly grunge and rave. I absolutely adored the blacklight effects and a strong female styling, the fight is gorgeous, the monsters have almost a Kaju feel which really made me happy as I love Pacific Rim. Of course this epicness is immediately ruined by a sloppy scene (I won't spoil it) which cemented the fact in my mind this was written by a man (I checked later and found I was correct), it does save itself with a fantastic twist at the end though so it was still an amazing short.

Sucker of Souls - This had a great grungy cartooning that felt half Kill Bill, half 2003 TMNT. It ended up being a real bad day for an archaeological expedition. Gore injected with humour is always a favourite of mine and this ticked all those boxes, including a wisecracking explosives expert (looking at you Gary!) If we've learnt anything from Indiana Jones and Rick O'Connell it's, don't fuck with tombs. This time was no different.

Three Robots - There's something just so fucking fantastic about robots going on holiday and speculating about 'human' stuff. It's just the perfect injection of morbid humour and I love it. The twist at the end had me laughing harder than I had any right to ?.

Ice Age - I haven't seen Topher Grace since That 70's Show so I was like 'heeeey cool'. This was the first one that wasn't soley animation so that was really cool. They find a civilization in their freezer - yes, you read that right, their freezer - and the story is awesome ?. It's a neat reflection on humans and our place in the world.

The Witness - Set in a brightly coloured city the animation here feels very Borderlands-y, which is super cool because I fricking love that game ?. There's murder, full frontal nudity, erotic dancing, and an ending that will tear your head right off. Pretty neat all in all.

Suits - Great Googamooga, this is my absolutely favourite so far, a perfectly normal looking farm, complete with adorable hick accents, discovers a breach in their fence. This isn't just any breach, this is an alien style swarm complete with Mech Warrior suits and a woman named Mel, who I'm convinced is Tank Girl as an old lady. 17 minutes of utter badassery you do not want to miss. Utterly LOVED it, and would 10/10 watch this as its own series.

When the Yogurt Took Over - Ok so the name - I was like 'should I take this seriously? Oooor' ?. Weirdly serious - yet hysterical. A five minute journey into what happened when Yogurt became sentient. You will not be disaappointed ?.

Good Hunting - With animation that reminds me of The Last Airbender, it's a story of magic, friendship, and the industrial age. A beautiful and tragic story, with horrific overtones of what greed and 'progress' can do.

The Dump - The animation this reminds me of would be sorta like, if the people at Pixar got high with Tim Burton. There was one random thing - I found Pearly's dick swing in the wind much funnier than any sane person probably would ?. A great story about man's best friend and let me tell ya, everyone needs an Otto ❤.

Shape-Shifter - There's something so deeply interesting about putting the supernatural into regular life. Two men, who are not human, in the US marines. Insanely intense story for under 15 minutes. Gorgeous CGI work too.

Helping Hand - This had a great "Gravity" feel to it, when everything goes wrong you just keep going, give a little and then a little more and you achieve the impossible. Breathtaking space visuals is just an added bonus ?.

Fish Night - Telltale style animation, depicts a story of a father and son on the road. The car breaks down and something both magical and tragic happens. The ending left me reeling ?.

Lucky 13 - The CGI in this one was so good it took me half the time to figure out that it wasn't real. Lucky 13 was to Cutter like the Normandy was to Joker. Just - the best goddamn ship ❤.

Zima Blues - Animated in a style similiar to Archer, this was an interesting piece about art and how it effects us, we search for meaning through it sometimes it's about appreciating the little things ❤.

Blindspot - 90's animation and a rad story about robots. This is my second favourite after Suits, would 10/10 watch as its own movie ?.

Alternate Histories - Did not stop laughing the entire time. Utter gold. I will recommend one thing - pause it at the blue screen bit, you won't be disappointed ?.

The only thing I'm sad about is there wasn't more of this to watch, it was incredible ?.
  
40x40

Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) Apr 22, 2019

Really enjoyed reading through your individual reviews, agree with you 1000% about Sonnie's Edge

(This review can be found on my blog <a href="http://themisadventuresofatwentysomething.blogspot.com/">The (Mis)Adventures of a Twenty-Something Year Old Girl</a>).


I had been wanting to read this book since I saw it advertised on another blog. It has a creepy boarding school which definitely piqued my interest. Luckily, this turned out to be an interesting read!

I like the title of this book. It sounds super ominous. I think the title definitely suits the story as, well, the plot does kind of involve Anne's education.

I love the cover! How creepy does it look!?! I love the way the boarding school on the cover looks really foreboding.

I enjoyed the world building. I'm not going to lie. While I was reading, I kept thinking that never would a poor girl get into a rich school, but the author does a fantastic job of explaining why and how towards the end of the book. I did have a lot of questions about the world building, but Wiebe does an awesome job at answering every single one. World events are mentioned in this book and how a character in this book relates to them. That was the scariest bit of world building for me because it's so easy to picture this scenario being responsible.

The pacing is a bit slow for the first two-thirds of the book, I'd say. I was thinking this would be one of those disappointing reads that I was really looking forward to. However, the last third or so of the book picks up the pace, and before I knew it, I couldn't put the book down. The only thing that would hurt this book is that a lot of readers might give up on it simply because the pacing is so slow throughout a huge chunk of the book.

The plot was really intriguing. A poor girl, Anne, is invited to study at a prestigious boarding school where only the super rich send their kids. Not to mention, it's also a secret boarding school. When Anne arrives at the school, everyone seems to know her story. Anne discovers that not all is as it seems at Cania Christy, and she embarks on a dangerous mission to find out the truth about her secretive boarding school. I really wish I could elaborate more on the plot, but if I did, it would give away spoilers and a major plot twist. The plot twist is what really pulled me in! Also, just when you think the book is going to end, it starts back up again with another plot twist! As this is part of a series, there is a cliff hanger at the end.

I thought the characters were all written very well. I especially liked the main character of Anne. I found her to be just an average teenage girl trying to find her place in the world. I found myself always feeling the same exact feelings she was experiencing during different points in the book. I also really enjoyed the character of Pilot. I loved his care free attitude about everything and how he didn't really let anything get to him. I also thought he was really good at what he did. I didn't really know what to make of Ben at first, but I eventually warmed to him. He seemed like a really sweet guy. The one character that annoyed me was Harper simply because I hated the way the author stereotyped her as she was from Texas. I hate how a lot of authors think Texans are all rich hillbillies which is what Harper seemed to be. The stereotypes that Harper embodied just really angered me. I wish Joanna Wiebe would've done some research on people from Texas before she wrote the character of Harper because it seemed obvious to me, as a Texan, that she didn't.

I thought the dialogue felt very realistic and flowed very well for the most part. The only dialogue that annoyed me was Harper's since the author made her sound like a stereotypical Texan. A lot of the "Texan" dialogue Harper used were words I'd never even heard (and I was born and raised in Texas). I'm thinking the author just made up a lot of those phrases. I'm just hoping that people who read this book don't actually believe that's how we talk in Texas. Other then that, I enjoyed the dialogue, and it felt like a real high school setting. There is some sexual talk, some violence, and some swear words, but I felt like none of that was over the top.

Overall, The Unseemly Education of Anne Merchant by Joanna Wiebe is an interesting read. I feel that if the first two thirds of the book would've had a bit more action and there wasn't any stereotyping going on that this could've been a fantastic book. However, I'm looking forward to and will be reading the next book.

I'd recommend this book to those aged 16+ who want to immerse themselves in a brilliant paranormal world.

<b>I'd give <i>The Unseemly Education of Anne Merchant</i> by Joanna Wiebe a 3.75 out of 5.</b>
  
Assassin&#039;s Creed Revelations
Assassin's Creed Revelations
Action/Adventure
Assassin's Creed Revelations ties up the story of Ezio Auditore, Altair Ibn-La'Ahad, and Desmond Miles. The story in Revelations not only includes Ezio's quest to uncover the secrets of his order, but a romantic interest, and a complex political situation as well. You also get flashbacks of Altair's life and some brief optional excursions in Desmond's mind in the Animus, making for an intricate story.
 Somehow, it all fits together perfectly. Ezio's story seems to be the catalyst because his quest to find out more information about Altair ties itself to the social and political unrest in Constantinople. The romance between Sophia and Ezio is subtle and it is impressive how convincing they are and you find yourself believing that these two are falling in love with all the chaos around them. Overall, the story telling in Revelations is remarkable and the cinematic scenes are done right with fully developed characters in strongly written scenes.


A New City To Explore.....
   On a basic level, Revelations plays the same as the Assassin Creed games that came before. You're still accepting various missions that have you stalking, meeting, or killing targets. Some of the quests in Revelations do add to parts of the story, but more than a handful are time wasters or poorly constructed. However, the most exciting moments are Ezio exploring Constantinople and his discovery of clues about Altair's library. It's here where the "dungeon" sequences come into play. Similar to the Lairs of Romulus and the Assassin's Tombs, these excavations can take you on some fantastic adventures and these are some of the great highlights of the game.

Adventuring Is A Dangerous Business

  Even better are the chapters that feature Altair himself. Each major portion of the game includes a segment with the original assassin and players relive specific moments from his life from young to very old. Some of these missions feel slightly similar to some of Ezio's, but others are completely different. The variety keeps things from getting dull as well as the fact that they're very story driven. Some of Altair's memories even carry a certain weight and understanding of what Ezio is doing. As the game progresses, you begin to see similarities and differences between the two men, which makes the story an even more emotional and thought provoking experience.

 When it comes to gameplay, it's clear Ubisoft made a number of additions in terms of controls, weaponry, and the menu layout. The most noticeable change was a button layout change. Players can now directly access a secondary weapon (throwing knives, bombs,) in addition to a primary weapon (hidden blade, sword). This gives players more options, allowing for quick reactions during stealth missions as well as challenging combat scenes. Bombs become an extension of your combat options, offering three different categories. Choices of bombs range from standard smoke bombs to a bomb that shoots out coins luring dozens of peasants.



Climbing higher and higher....


The hook blade was also introduced, a feature playing on Ezio's hidden blade, that is perfect for zip lines and climbing to heights that seem almost unreachable. It becomes a universal tool in Revelations, for exploring the city and other locations as well as proving useful in close combat and assassination missions.


Hook blade, don't leave home without it.

 The only two parts of the game I found issue with were Den Defense and some of the game play as Desmond Miles. First of all, Den Defense really didn't add a lot to the experience of Revelations. In fact, it detracted from it. The menu is very clunky. Ezio stands on a rooftop near his headquarters as enemy troops march down the street attempting to damage the building so they can take it over. Players must install through a point and click cursor menu various barricades and a variety of assassins along the rooftops to fend off the attack. Controlling the deployment is really clunky and this mode does not mesh well with the game. Assassin's Creed's strength and focus is direct combat, not real time strategy. Frequently, I found myself fighting against overwhelming odds, which made the whole thing an irritating mess. If they bring Den Defense back, they definitely need to make a few changes and modifications to it.

 Now we come to Desmond. Desmond's sequences are completely optional in Revelations, most likely Ubisoft anticipating a divided reaction to the departure in game design. Desmond is in a coma, attempting to reclaim his mind within the Animus architecture and must navigate through Tron like worlds in first person perspective. He moves through these oddities by using two shapes of blocks he can create and place in the world. While I did like getting to hear some of Desmond's memories and his back story, I did not like the first person perspective. It's jarring at first, and it takes a lot of getting used to. I also suffer incredibly bad vertigo in first person game settings which is why I rarely play first person games. I found that while it was a bit unsettling at first, I did get used to Desmond's first person view sequences because thankfully, the camera did not bob up and down at weird angles. I could only play in brief bits however, because after a few minutes I found myself feeling quite nauseated. I truly wish his sequences had not been done in first person, but the scenes are well thought out and the puzzles actually play well. I also found myself a bit frustrated towards the end when once again, I got more questions than answers. I came to understand that they left it this way on purpose to make room for the forthcoming Assassin's Creed game in 2012, so I'll just have to wait.

 Multiplayer is augmented again in Revelations with various new modes, a variety of customization options, and a better interface along with a story mode that allows players to learn more about the Templars as they progress in the Abstergo facility. There are several modes that create unique gameplay with different match types. All of these build towards an ultimate goal which certainly rewards those who are used to focusing on a core storyline.

 Overall, Assassin's Creed Revelations gives a brilliant presentation of an intricate story line filled with gorgeous graphics, great voice acting, subtle yet powerful music, and great core gameplay. For me, this was the best Assassin's Creed yet and I know I will be playing through it again. If you've been following the stories of Altair and Ezio this far, you definitely need to see their last adventure. It's worth it.
  
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Resurrection: A Zombie Novel
Resurrection: A Zombie Novel
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Resurrection: A Zombie Novel by Michael J. Totten is a marvelous book about a post-apocalyptic world in which a virus leaves millions of humans in a crazed state that makes them only wish to eat the flesh of their fellow mankind. With so many twists and turns, you are able to develop ideas on how the characters were before the virus spread, how they have changed, and different things that could easily affect how you would view another human. It was delightful to be able to read about some of the history leading up to the outbreak on each character, while being able to learn what made them tick. The way the characters interact had me laughing from time to time as they are so different and stubborn in their own ways that it makes it hard for them to agree on things. I loved how it brought up a lot of different ideas and thoughts one might have before an outbreak like this happens as well as how it could change the way one might feel or think once they realize they may be the last alive to help set up a new society. Not to mention, how some things we know can go out the window when your life is depending on you being super careful and cautious out the window.

Watching the characters deal with issues with their first major problem, other survivors definitely gave me the impression that in a world with no rules, people no longer try to make friends or even help each other out. I had felt completely anxious and sad that other healthy humans couldn’t be bothered to be kind to our main group of characters. I understand they had their reason, but it did remind me how in real life, without a zombie outbreak, the majority of the human race will only look out for themselves and what they believe belongs to them. It was refreshing to see how even though sometimes you don’t get along with your team, how a common enemy can pull you together, even if the enemy is survivors who could be potential assets to your group. I also found that the idea of us, humans, and thinking we know a ton, to be quite lacking.

Totten had brought a valuable point up in the book, whether he meant to or not. If something should happen, where we needed to live off the earth and a huge portion of our population is dead, or heavily diseased and dangerous to be near, how would be survive? A lot of people take for granted the fact they have heat, running water, electricity, and food, so without out being able to just purchase it and having to resort to growing it and such, our survivors would need to learn a lot of information. I enjoyed the idea of the characters going to look for books on farming, building, and anything else they would need to learn how to do, but it got me thinking about how everything today is slowly becoming that of a digital world. Yes there are still libraries out there with millions of books, but most libraries are in areas that could easily be surrounded by the infected. Even in Resurrection, that could be an issue and yet when Kyle brings up they could just obtain the books to teach them how to do things, the other characters didn’t seem as concerned about the idea, as I was upon reading that. After all, reading how they have to be careful just going to a sporting goods store and all the concerns they have when doing things, makes the idea of going into a library very worrisome.

However, it wasn’t just the knowledge most people don’t have that brought this story to my mind in some serious thought, it was seeing how something as simple as knowing your blood type and how blood transfusion work, seems to leave you in times of panic. We all know that certain blood types just can’t be mixed with others and often this knowledge isn’t needed. Most of us don’t even know our blood types, myself included, because we just don’t always see the need to know such information, or we just simply forget it. So I wasn’t surprised that the characters didn’t know their blood types off the back of their hand, but I found how simple things we have learned since grade school about other people’s blood containing diseases and even allergic reactions if placed in your own body without proper care could just disappear until after doing just that. I can’t say I would have thought of it either, but at the same time I would like to think that it’s something I wouldn’t feel right about. Though, how could any of us be sure we would do something different?

Totten seemed to be able to use the characters to remind us of how important some of the things we take for granted are. I enjoyed seeing how friendships can be broken or made easily, how teamwork is important in the matter of survival, and how people would truly act in a post-apocalyptic world. To see common sense that we have go out the window in some situations and in other situations seem create stealthy humans with common sense and the ability to have sound judgement. Not everyone would have been able to write about such a world, and have characters make mistakes that leave you shaking your head. To be able to see the characters as imperfect humans doing their best to get by in the world, definitely makes this novel a delightful read. I would rate Resurrection: A Zombie Novel 5 stars out of 5 stars. Definitely a must read for the zombie lover. I would say if you love zombie movies and shows, you would find this book right up your alley. With characters you could relate to, and situations that aren’t impossible to imagine, you will fall in love with the writing style and story that Michael Totten gave to us in this short, page turner.
  
The Lighthouse (2019)
The Lighthouse (2019)
2019 | Drama, Horror
Robert Eggers made a striking introduction for himself in 2015 with the moody and disconcerting The Witch, bringing a future star to the world’s attention in Anya Taylor-Joy in the process. You could argue after seeing his sophomore effort, The Lighthouse, that in terms of creating deliberately nauseating landscapes his work is the third cog in the arthouse revival of intellectual “horror”, after Ari Aster (Hereditary / Midsommar) and Jordan Peele (Get Out / Us). The group actually sits quite well together, as there is an obvious social commentary by metaphor crossover going on here, as well as just a little bit of “crazy”.

The point of difference up front with Eggars seems to be an earthiness. He likes dirt, and straw and rain and holes in the ground, and a sense of temperature in a scene (usually very cold). He also loves to frame an image and hold it there simply for the bizarre beauty of it, much as David Lynch has done unapologetically and without explanation his whole career.

As perfect as Tayor-Joy was in The Witch for her innocent otherworldly qualities, so Willem Dafoe is also as a craggy, sweaty-toothed old man of the sea in this. Whatever else you take, or don’t take from The Lighthouse, it is hard to deny the absolute cinematic purity of Dafoe’s face! It alone will guarantee this film’s cult status (and his) forever. And I do mean forever; the very best images of this film are worthy to be frozen, framed and wondered at alongside the most enduring black and white iconography in the entire history of the art form. And most often the best images involve Dafoe.

He is just so damn interesting to look at, all the time, no matter what. His range as an actor over the years just gets more and more impressive the more you think about it. He is capable of being heartbreakingly vulnerable and tender, but can also be terrifying on demand. His streak of dark humour can not be underestimated either – consider the genius of his introduction here, where the simple touch of his pipe being upside down tells you everything you need to know about this man and where this film is going.

Except, we don’t know where it is going. Ever. It is a very odd experience in terms of a satisfying narrative. It never seems to settle or fit into a genre comfortably, which is fine if all elements sublimate magically, but I don’t think they quite do. Is it a horror, a comedy, a psychological thriller, a study of loneliness and isolation, a metaphor for… something? The closest I can get is to say it is as if Lynch remade Young Frankenstein with just Igor and Dr Frankenstein, at a lighthouse, but forgot to make it funny or cohere into a real story. Of course, the things that I am reaching for as shortcomings may be exactly what others see as strengths. There is something to be said for being taken on a journey you can’t define or easily explain.

Quite often on this journey we are teased and fed details that seem to go nowhere, and avenues that may have proved interesting to explore are closed with a bang, in favour of another drinking scene and another fight – which are great the first few times, but become repetitive to a baffling degree later on. Mythology and dreams of the sea are played with, but also not fully approached; we are only given brief flashes of Mermaids and Krakens, nightmares and visions only, before returning to the mundanity and drudgery of the job of a lighthouse keeper. You are often left wondering who is going more mad, the men in the film or you watching it. I definitely recommend the best way to watch this is a little or a lot drunk, very late at night… it demands it, somehow.

It is difficult for all these reasons to say with any true certainty then, after just one viewing, if I think it is any good… I don’t know yet, I will have to watch it again some time to find out, is my best answer. For sure the photography is 100% first rate and instantly unforgettable – Jarin Blaschke was deservedly Oscar nominated for the extremely fine work – and the design and feel of the whole thing is quite masterful. I really want to like it more than I do, and perhaps if I was still in my wide-eyed twenties I would be enthusing about it endlessly, but now… I can see a touch of the Emperor’s new clothes about it, so am cautious of praising it too much.

One other element that is impressive, however, that I have yet to touch on, is the continued rise of Mr Robert Pattinson as an actor of serious note. As I have already touched on recently in other reviews, I did not see this coming, that it would be him that I was naming as one of the most promising talents of his age group working in film today! But you just can’t deny his versatility and understanding of genre and character. He puts in another very solid effort here, full of interesting choices and nuance; he is certainly an exciting prospect for the decade ahead.

In summary. See it. Unless you absolutely hate things that don’t tie the strings up nice and neatly, and decide for yourself. Some people will hate it, and I get that. It is a film-lovers film, for sure. Mesmerising and Meticulous, as one critic put it. Admire it for the craft involved, and experience it with an open mind. Just don’t go in expecting traditional horror, or traditional drama, or traditional comedy, or even traditional surrealism… The Lighthouse, for all it’s debatable flaws is unique! I suggest you let it be that way by not over-reaching to define it.
  
The Artemis Project
The Artemis Project
2019 | Dice Game, Science Fiction, Space
I don’t know about you, but I spend more time than I should probably admit perusing Kickstarter and checking out new projects. Although, that is how I came across The Artemis Project. A game about exploration and colonization of one of Jupiter’s moons? Yes please! The campaign looked promising, the gameplay looked engaging, and the hype was real. Once I finally got the game, did it live up to my expectations? Keep reading to find out!

The Artemis Project is a game of dice/worker placement in which players are trying to build and sustain a prosperous colony on Jupiter’s moon Europa. Played over 6 rounds, players will take turns rolling and placing dice across the regions of the board to collect resources, construct buildings, recruit and train colonists, and partake in expeditions to explore this vast ice-land. To begin, follow the setup instructions in the rulebook for the appropriate player count. Each player receives a player board, dice, and markers in their chosen color. Populate the board for the first round, select a starting player, and the game is ready to begin!

Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, as there are just too many details. For a more in-depth look at The Artemis Project, pick up a copy from your FLGS or directly from the publisher! -L

To start each round, all players will simultaneously roll all 5 of their dice. Once players are happy with their results, the round is ready to properly begin. Each round is broken into three phases: Placement, Resolution, and Upkeep. To begin the Placement phase, starting with the first player, players will take turns assigning one die at a time to the 7 regions of the board. These regions are: Basecamp, Vents, Quarry, Gantry, Doorstep, Academy, and Outfitters. (I will explain each region in more detail in the next section!) The value of the dice placed in any region is important, because it will dictate what you are allowed to do, or when you are allowed to resolve the action for that region – so choose your placements wisely.

Once every player has placed all 5 of their dice, the Resolution phase begins. During the Resolution phase, each of the regions of the board will be resolved in order, allowing players to perform their region-specific actions. Resolution starts with Basecamp. Placing dice at Basecamp allows players to partake in Expeditions in an effort to earn Expedition Badges (which translate to end-game VP), as well as extra rewards. Each Expedition has a difficulty level which must be equaled or surpassed by the total of all dice placed on that card. If the difficulty is surpassed, the Expedition is a success and rewards are doled out accordingly, but if the Expedition fails, no rewards are earned by anyone.

The next 2 regions, Vents and Quarry, allow players to collect Energy and Minerals, respectively, and are resolved in the same way. Players will collect a number of resources equal to their played die value. Pretty straight-forward! Moving on to the Gantry region, the value of dice placed on any building tiles are considered bids for buying/constructing that building. You can bid against opponents for building tiles, but each bid must increase the previous amount. When resolving the Gantry, the highest value die on a tile is the winner, and that player must pay their die-amount in Minerals to collect that tile. Buildings are added to your colony, and allow you to perform special actions once they are fully-staffed (all colonist slots on the tile are filled).

Next is the Doorstep – depending on the value of dice you placed there, you will be able to recruit 1-3 new colonists. Recruiting a colonist costs you 2 Energy per new addition, and any new colonists you recruit can be placed immediately into any of your buildings (if space is available), or into your Shelter where they will wait to be used. The Academy region allows you to exchange a colonist of your choice for one of a different type/occupation, again, depending on the value of the die used. And finally, the Outfitters region does not resolved during this phase, because it’s action is performed immediately upon dice placement. Any dice placed to the Outfitters gives Tool Kits (used to manipulate die values at the start of each round) to the player, based upon the die value.

The remaining element of the Resolution phase is the Even card. At the start of each round, an Event card is drawn, and will pertain to a certain region of the board. During the Resolution phase, when that region is reached, the Event card will be resolved – either penalizing players or benefitting them in some way. I have purposefully left out a few elements of the Resolution phase for you to discover on your own!


Once all regions have been resolved, the round moves to the Upkeep phase. During this phase, all players can choose to move 1 colonist to a building tile, or swap any 2 colonists between buildings. This is not required, but can only be performed once during this phase. Next, if any players have fully-staffed buildings (all colonist slots are filled), they may activate the listed ability. And finally, for any colonists left in your shelter and not in a building, you must pay 1 Energy for each to keep them warm! The game board is now refreshed for the next round, a new starting player is selected, and the new round is ready to begin. After the 6th and final round, VPs are tallied – earned through number of building tiles, Expedition Badges, sets of resources, and sets of colonists – and the player with the most VP is the winner!
I know that seems like a lot, but I promise that once you start the first round, everything is pretty intuitive and the game flows well. The turn sequence and phases are logical and easy to understand. The game board itself has lots of helpful icons that work as reminders throughout gameplay, and the rulebook has a nice and concise round overview on the last page as well, which is easy to refer back to at a moment’s notice. I’ll go ahead and touch on components here, since I kind of already started to do so. The components in this game are great! The game board and cards are all sturdy and have colorful and immersive artwork. The dual-layered player boards are high quality, the colonist meeples are cute and effective, the building tiles and cardboard chits are strong and can definitely hold up to many plays, and the dice are easy to roll and read. Definitely an A+ on components from me.


I have to admit that The Artemis Project surprised me. At its core, it is a worker placement game, and that in and of itself lends itself to a certain gameplay. You’re trying to complete your own agenda, being the first to snag those important placements that you need to accomplish those goals, while also blocking opponents from doing the same. The thing that makes The Artemis Project unique is that the ‘workers’ in this game are dice. And their value is what dictates the resolution of each region. Just because you place a die in a region first, does not necessarily mean that you will get to resolve first – depending on how your opponents play, they could block you entirely! The use of dice adds an extra layer of strategy to the gameplay that really elevates it beyond a simple worker placement mechanic. Another great thing about this game is that there is no one way to win – there are several strategies that you could play by in an effort to earn VPs. Maybe you are trying to complete as many Expeditions as possible, or want to construct as many buildings as possible. Either strategy can work, and all strategies can easily be adapted and altered during gameplay.
I am so happy that I came across this game on Kickstarter. The game is strategic, engaging, and just fun to play. I’m not necessarily a huge fan of worker placement games, but the approach to the mechanic taken by The Artemis Project really puts a unique twist on it that adds to the gameplay. This is one KickStarter that was definitely worth the investment. Check it out if you haven’t heard of it, or if you’re looking to elevate your worker placement games. Purple Phoenix Games gives it an enterprising 10 / 12.
  
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
2016 | Action, Sci-Fi
The Trio on The BIG Screen! (0 more)
Editing (0 more)
The Good, The Bad and The Editing
So...here's a movie that split so many fans and has caused COUNTLESS arguments online. My review may also cause arguments, but I'm willing to risk that as I have a fair bit to say about this movie, most importantly and foremost;

I enjoyed the movie!

The Good:

Let me start with what's good because I feel there's never enough positivity around this movie so here goes.

Ben Affleck and Gal Gadot were the two focuses of this movie because they had a lot of pressure on them to bring Batman and Wonder Woman to life and do the characters justice (terrible I know but I couldn't resist). All over the internet I saw hate for Ben Affleck and people saying Gal Gadot was too skinny. At first, I'll be honest, I did think Gal Gadot was really skinny and couldn't imagine her as Wonder Woman, BUT, unlike most people, I knew that before they would film her scenes, she would be 'buffing up' because I have faith in Zack Snyder because he is a fan and has made brilliant films. Man Of Steel made me like Superman, because of the way he was written as conflicted and the whole film made him more human and I loved it.

Here's where some people will disagree highly with me....I am not a big fan of the Nolan trilogy Batman. Now, before you throw a fit and verbally kick my ass, let me try and tell you why. The Voice! (it's not the only reason, but this is the reason I'm trying to make a point of) Batman a.k.a Bruce Wayne is a BILLIONAIRE, so who thought that the best way for him to disguise his voice would be to make him sound like he's fucked up his throat somehow? A billionaire with all those gadgets would surely think that what he needs is a voice modulator. Snyder brought in the voice modulator and I fell in love in that first trailer from hearing Batman talk through a voice modulator because I was sat there like "Hallelujah they finally worked out what a billionaire vigilante would do!" and I think it could be just me, but I honestly would prefer to think of Batman using one of those rather than grumbling his voice, because it just makes more sense.

So...Batfleck was incredible. My favourite portrayal so far and here's why:

- Arkham game fighting style
- Aged personality that says it all about why he's that violent
- He's definitely a great portrayal of the Dark Knight Returns version of Batman
- Ben Affleck is a great actor (in my opinion)

People's biggest complaint was 'Batman Kills' and I've had this discussion with my friends many times. Yes people died, IT'S HAPPENED BEFORE! It's rare but it's happened. You like the realism of Nolan's trilogy but there's a realism to Batfleck that you might not be seeing. He's been through all the same shit year in, year out for decades. Villains cause chaos, Batman fights villain, lets them live, puts them away, they break out, rinse repeat. Doing that for decades, losing people you love because of your choice not to kill, would surely cause a spark in your mind and Bruce Wayne says this in the movie through less words. "How many good guys are left? How many stay that way?"

If you think about it, he's essentially saying "I was a good guy but even I have had my boundaries pushed to the line and over". He's finally at the age where he has a state of mind that from his perspective...bad guys don't deserve to be shown mercy, but at the same time, he doesn't necessarily kill the bad guys directly.

Think of the warehouse scene. Bad Guy throws grenade, Batman kicks it back at him. Grenade goes BOOM. Bad guys die. BUT! If the guy hadn't have tried to throw the grenade, Batman wouldn't have kicked it back, and it wouldn't have ended in their death. Simple as that.

Let's move on though.

Superman is conflicted and the movie gets very political with a message of "Here's a God-Like figure. Should he be allowed to do what he wants or should we take away Choice by having under the Governments thumb?" and Superman personally is having internal issues of "I want this to be my home because it's the only home I've known, but these people don't want me and this stress is affecting both Clark Kent and Superman". He should have been able to see or hear the bomb in the wheelchair, but his mind was preoccupied with "Why does this government and these people hate me when I saved not only my city but the whole world?". Think about your stress with work, with college, school etc. and how it really does effect everything else around you. You might not want to go out with friends because you feel drained from the stress, now try to imagine that on the level of Superman! The poor guy just wanted to help.

My biggest enjoyment from this film was ALL OF THE DC REFERENCES! There were so many cool easter eggs, references etc. that I adored from Riddler Question Marks, to seeing Superman in a skeletal form after the Nuke explosion and then regaining his life force from the flowers through their Photosynthesis just like in the graphic novel! It was an incredible experience and I loved the film mainly for that.

The Bad:

Doomsday....I want to hope it's not the actual Doomsday and maybe just a failed experiment that Lex tried out but at the same time I know it probably is meant to be THE Doomsday.

The Editing:

The editing was jumpy and some cuts didn't make sense UNTIL the Ultimate Cut. The Ultimate Cut gives us some scenes with Clark Kent in Gotham BEFORE the big introduction to Batman in person, and hearing stories and investigating why people fear him, but also respect him. This would have worked so much better in the Theatrical Cut but sadly studios like to cut the film and people blame the Director for it which annoys me slightly.

Guaranteed this post might not change your mind, but I must say that you should try watching the film again if you've avoided it, watch the Ultimate Cut and really pay attention to how its being shown to the audience. Overall this is one of my favourite superhero movies and I will always stand up for it, BUT I'm not blind to it's faults.
  
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Katie Loves Movies (134 KP) Apr 18, 2017

Great review @Connor Sheffield - I have added it to my Save List.

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honingwords (32 KP) rated After Mrs Hamilton in Books

Jul 5, 2018 (Updated Jul 6, 2018)  
After Mrs Hamilton
After Mrs Hamilton
Clare Ashton | 2012 | LGBTQ+
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
It’s an absolute masterpiece.
I’m going to go out on a limb here. I think After Mrs Hamilton by Clare Ashton is my all time favourite book.

Ever.

In any genre.

Normally when I recommend a book to a friend I’ll drop it into conversation. If I really like it I’ll send you a link to a review and follow up a few days later with a question on how you got on with it.

With this one I bought you your own copy, cos you ain’t getting mine, I opened it at the beginning and thrust it into your hands, I took your phone off the hook AND I rang your boss to tell her you won’t be in tomorrow morning.

Here’s a duvet for you too - you’ll be under it until the end.

Did I say favourite book?

Of all time.

And quite rightly so. It’s an absolute masterpiece.

This was my Book Club’s book of the month and it was suggested to me at a time when I was becoming jaded with the sheer number of books set in America, which I’d been reading up to then. It opened me up to an author I’d never heard of before, who sets her books in England and Wales. One who has come up with an original plot that starts off gently unfolding, before twisting and turning to a most unpredictable ending.

I absolutely devoured it.

I wanted to re-open it immediately the last page closed, but forced myself to wait using the interim to read Clare Ashton’s other books in quick succession. I had to see if the absolute need to re-immerse myself in her addictive, easy to read, rich in description, style would continue to be as strong. Also, I needed a clear period of time in front of me to allow for the fact the characters would take over my life again.

After over ten years of reading lesfic Clare Ashton is now the one I use to compare all other authors. I’m slightly worried that I can’t decide which of her novels is my favourite, but as this is the first one I read, it probably takes pride of place.

I’d say there are five or six characters to pay attention to but Clo is the main one. The plot revolves around her friends and family but, more specifically, it is woven around a web of coincidences. Coincidences about people who each have secrets and who may have known each other in the past, coincidences about where they lived and met, coincidences about how their pasts and futures may be intertwined.

Coincidences which prove just how small the world really is, especially if you ever lived in Middle Heyford.

Clare deals with two taboo subjects. The first is that Clo works for Marella as an escort to women. (“Prostitution. You can call it what it is,” says Clo.) She uses the income to allow her to care for her arthritic grandmother Amelia.

The second taboo subject I will let you find out for yourself, but for the record, I am not squeamish about it and think Clare was extremely brave to include it. I found myself nodding along with Clo’s reaction.

The novel begins with Marella interviewing her new client, Mrs Hamilton. Marella is the lynch pin to everything, yet we learn little about her throughout the book and she isn’t in many scenes. She is vitally important; there would be no story without her, yet Clare manages to allow Marella to stay mainly in the shadows. I would very much like to see future stories with her in them and think it is a huge shame Clare has no plans to visit this storyline again.

Clo knows Laura from university and Susan from living in Middle Heyford. Clo’s grandmother Amelia is the mother of Alice who has a special page all to herself in my imaginary book “People I’d Like To Punch In The Face” and Helen is Susan’s dead Mother’s sister. The intricate relationships between the characters are all explained as you go along but it is difficult to keep them all straight in your head, unless you either pay very good attention, or draw an L Word type chart for them, which is what I ended up doing.

Mrs Hamilton tells us she is fifty-four and throughout the book Clare refers to her, and certainly Mrs Hamilton thinks of herself, as an older woman. Clo meets with her professionally at the beginning and it is their mutual attraction which is explored throughout the rest of the book. There is an age difference there but it is not an issue for either of them.

There is a little part of me which wants to rebel against the idea that fifty-four is old though, and I wonder now that since the publication of the book was in 2012, and Clare is five years closer to Mrs Hamilton’s age now, would she still consider fifty-four year old skin to be ageing and mottled?

On that point, with me coming along five years after publication, I have to say there is nothing in the novel to date it. It is as fresh today as it would have been back then. Five years isn't long enough to notice too much, but I’m going to predict that readers in another twenty years will be saying this novel is ‘timeless.’

By necessity, there are a few back stories to wade through - the two main sets of characters could, possibly, have been dealt with in two books instead of one. At 308 pages this is a fairly long book, at the beginning it flows a tad more slowly than in the later chapters, but I’m sticking with my first impressions on it, and I wouldn’t have wanted Clare to have handled it any other way.

I like all the main characters. Amelia is so important to Clo and I am relieved when she returns home after a trip away and want to hug her! I like Laura, but feel she may be a high maintenance friend! I think Susan and I would be friends in real life. Clo’s father, Edward is a frustrating coward of a man, but is in an important scene with Clo’s lover and I melted a little towards him when she blurts out “I’m in love with your daughter’” and he says “Well I had gathered that.” Other than Clare’s well-written sex scenes this, and the few paragraphs leading up to it, would be my favourite part of the book.

One character has to deal with what I would suggest is a ‘betrayal by omission’ - others, those closest to her, know facts about her but don’t let her in on the secret. When it all comes out she seems able to accept this, after only a very short time adjusting. This isn't something I could have coped with and this is the one thing that made me uncomfortable during the book and the time mulling it over immediately after.

There are three points in this story when I spoke out loud. There was an

Oh!

A

Huh!

And finally an

OH MY GOD!

There is a split at the end - one side gets their happily ever after and the other story is one where we are left with a total absence of a conclusion. It was about a day later before I realised I didn’t know what happened with that story line and had to go back and reread the ending! Yup, there is nothing - we are left to make our own minds up!

Clare has been known to say that she is in denial about her breast obsession, but there are no fewer than 50 times the word ‘breast’ is used in this book and I loved every single one of them! I’m hoping she continues to not have any breast obsession in her future work!

After finishing the book the first time I added a category to help me rate books I am reviewing. I added “Should this be made into a film?” because it was a most definite YES! for After Mrs Hamilton.

The second time round I am about to add another category: Would I cherish a signed copy of this book? Errr YES!

My advice is to read this once. Then, with the knowledge you have at the end, go and read it again. Clare has so many clues and references cleverly placed throughout which you may think are just lovely details at the time, but they are actually very important to being able to fully understand the book.

It’s nearly impossible to sleep until this story is fully unravelled. Read it during a weekend when you have no work to worry about because otherwise you will want to pull a sickie.
  
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Lizz Cook (11 KP) Jul 6, 2018

Wow. You make me yearn for the feelings you got from this read. You are a wonderful writer.

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honingwords (32 KP) Jul 6, 2018

Thank you Lizz, you are very kind :)