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Talisman: Kingdom Hearts
Talisman: Kingdom Hearts
2019 | Adventure, Exploration, Fantasy, Fighting, Video Game Theme
I do not play video games much anymore. There was a time that I would spend most of my waking hours on my computer trying to LFG in Jeuno or the Valkurm Dunes as a DRG/THF to get those dang 10-20s. I completely understand if you have no idea what I am talking about, but if you did, hello from Limber on Ramuh! The last two sentences refer to my 3 and a half years playing Final Fantasy XI online. It was a glorious game and I made really great friends playing it. This version of Final Fantasy released within months of the very first Kingdom Hearts game. If you are also unfamiliar with the Kingdom Hearts IP, it is a mashup of Final Fantasy and Disney characters. That’s right, medieval style hack ‘n slash with magic fighting fantastical beasts meets Mickey Mouse. I don’t know why, but it worked and it still does. Obviously, combining two universes that I happen to love will automatically endear a high level of affinity from me, but is this implementation of an older board game going to satisfy my need for nostalgia or will it simply be a strange skin over a bad game?

In Talisman Kingdom Hearts (which I will now call simply Talisman for this review) players will be taking on roles of Kingdom Hearts characters to traverse the world with the ultimate goal of reaching the Door to Darkness and sealing it forever. The player who seals the Door ends the game, but it does not necessarily mean they will win this semi-cooperative-but-mostly-competitive roll-and-move game.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup, follow the instructions in the rulebook. Each player will either be dealt a character at random or may choose from the 11 characters in the box. The gigantic board goes wherever it will fit on the table, and the decks of cards are to be shuffled and stacked nearby. The Object cards will be separated by type and placed face-up near the face-up pile of Keyblade cards. Players will adjust their Stat Dials to match the starting stats printed on their character card and the game is ready to begin!
Talisman is a game played over a series of many very quick turns. Each turn is comprised of two phases: Movement and Encounters. During the Movement phase within the Outer and Middle Regions the active player will roll 1d6 and decide to move clockwise or counter-clockwise that many spaces around the board. Once within the Inner Region players will move one space at a time and no longer need to roll. Once a player lands on a space they will have Encounters while stopping.

Encounters on a space may involve several cards in play. Spaces on the board will have written instructions or merely iconography to instruct players what to do on each space. If drawing an Adventure Card from the deck, the active player may come across enemies to fight, followers to recruit, or even items to help in their journeys.

Combat is pretty slick and easy in the game: the player has a base Strength or Magic stat on their dials to which is added the result of a die roll. Compare this to the enemy’s matching base stat plus their roll. The larger result wins the combat. The player takes the enemy card as a trophy when they win, and loses a Health value when they lose and the enemy typically stays on the board space until defeated.


Play continues in this way (with a few more surprises along the way that I will have you play to discover on your own) of taking turns moving and encountering spaces until one player seals the Door to Darkness. Players are then awarded VP for various numbers of cards, where they end up on the board, stat differentials, and other means. The player with the most VP wins the game!
Components. This is a large box and comes with several different types of components. The first is a monstrously-sized game board that takes up a lot of space. That’s not at all bad, but it is certainly a busy board. There is so much information and artwork on the board, and also may have tokens set upon it to be linked to cards on the table. With over 200 cards in the box along with player character cards, stat dials, and 11 plastic minis you get a lot in the box for your money. I would say that all of the components are of excellent quality and I have no qualms with any of them aside from the very large and very busy main board.

I have some good and bad news here. First the bad. This plays somewhat similarly to a game I happen to have very lukewarm feelings for: Jim Henson’s Labyrinth. In both games players are rolling a die and deciding which direction to travel in order to have an encounter on the space. Combat is decided primarily by stats and die rolls with only the Fate tokens in Talisman to assist with a re-roll of one die. Combine that with the frustration of needing to land exactly on a space on the board in order to progress to the next Region inward and players may be volleying themselves back and forth trying to roll just the right number to hop into the Middle or Inner Regions.

That all said, I still do enjoy this game. Yes, I like it because of the art and the theme. I have always said that I prefer my games to have great art and a great theme before I start to care about mechanics and other attributes. This is a case in point. I love the look of the game, the table presence, the Kingdom Hearts IP, and I typically do not gravitate toward roll-and-move games. But, there is enough in Talisman that it keeps me interested in playing more and more. I will eventually be able to play with all of the different characters to experience their own unique special abilities and select a character with whom I most relate. I think I will enjoy that journey.

I can also play this game with my wife pretty readily, and that is a huge positive for me. I know that in time my children will be able to play this game without much arm-twisting as well as we are a huge Disney household. The rules are relatively light, and the rulebook does a great job of breaking everything down. That said, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a hybridized and limit broken 9 / 12. If you love the Kingdom Hearts IP, or the Talisman games, or even games to introduce to newer players, then you need to take a look at Talisman Kingdom Hearts. I am still discovering things in the game that I hadn’t noticed on previous plays and that keeps me coming back for more. You won’t feel the brain burn here but you will have a great time having Chip ‘n Dale, Dumbo, and Tinkerbell following you along your adventure.
  
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
Action/Adventure
Gameplay (1 more)
Graphics
Characters (1 more)
Twist ending
A Review By A Disappointed Long Time Fan
Before this game was released, I was certain that it was going to be my Game Of The Year for 2015, and in a lot of ways it is a worthy contender. As an open world stealth game, it is groundbreaking. The gameplay is some of the best I’ve ever seen, the controls feel tight, the underlying systems and features, (such as reflex mode and the buddy system,) are solid and the AI is responsive and fair. This is KojiPro’s first attempt at an open world game, and as far as first attempts go, this is ‘pretty good.’ The world is breathtaking as well, the graphics that the Fox engine can produce are stunning in every way, the world feels alive, with both enemies and wildlife, the textures, the particle systems, the gun models, every visual in this game has been created with an insane amount of attention to detail and all of it really pays off. I experienced little to no glitches while making my way through the single player campaign and the presentation overall is great. Motherbase is also awesome, you genuinely feel as if you are assembling an army and even though the Fulton is daft, it is a nice touch. And the amount of variety this game provides is vast, you can take 4 different buddies with you, each with unique skills, you can infiltrate in the morning or at night, you can choose your guns and customise them to suit, you can also customise your buddy’s gear, your helicopter and to a small extent Motherbase too, although that could have went deeper. Now, if that is all that you are looking for, then seriously, stop reading this review right now and go buy the game, you will love it and there is so much to do, I sank a good 75+ hours into this game and my overall completion rate is still only at 75%. If however, like me, you are looking for something more than just great gameplay, you will be left feeling as empty as I do. Like I keep reiterating, the gameplay is phenomenal, but that’s the problem, I have never played MGS for the gameplay. It wasn’t the gameplay that made me fall in love with the series growing up and if anything you would always suffer through the stiff gameplay in order to experience the deep and complex story and that was okay, because it would always be so worth it. This game throws all of that out of the window.

The way that this game is structured is awful. You play a few main missions in a row, the story is beginning to hook you, but then OCD kicks in and you realise that you have 4 or 5 side missions building up to be completed, so you go and do them, but then you come back to the main story and forget what was going on in the last mission, but who cares when you can Fulton a goat, right?

The writing in this game is possibly the laziest it’s ever been, one example of this is the ‘controversial’ character known as Quiet. This character has been masterly debated over a lot (see what I did there?) and thrown more gasoline on the fire that is the over-sexualisation of women in video games. My stance on it is somewhere in between, the reason for her lack of clothes and speech is silly, however she is running around Afghanistan and Africa, which are very hot countries, so really they could have put her in a bikini top and a pair of cargo pants and I doubt anyone would have batted an eyelid. Now, the Metal Gear series has always been known for its odd Japanese perviness, but when it is a main character that has been sexualised, it’s always been for a justified narrative reason, such as EVA in MGS3 walking about with the front of her jacket unzipped showing off her bikini clad chest, but the whole point of her mission in that game, was to seduce Snake, so it made sense within the context of the story, in this game the reason for Quiet’s over exposure is much lazier and feels tacked on as a cheap excuse.

The worst part about all of this is the fact that, this is it, Kojima’s definite last Metal Gear game, there is no going back to redeem anything, like in MGS2 when everyone hated it, but because 4 solved some of the problems that were created in 2 people are now okay with 2, that can’t happen with this game because Kojima and Konami are no more. Now I could write a whole other paper on Konami vs Kojima and my stance on it but this is the jist, Kojima was spending too much money and taking too much time with this game, Konami demanded he finish it so they can make their money and add their microtransaction’s etc Kojima told them where they can stick it and the partnership was dead. This has had an effect on the game, there is clearly content missing, Konami has confirmed that at least one mission was cut, where Snake would have went to Africa to have another battle with Eli and Sahalanthropus, which is the Metal Gear in this game, which is unacceptable really. Also, I assume there was a lot of other content that was cut that we weren’t told about. Sahalanthropus is another problem I have, how is it that this Metal Gear created in the 80’s is more advanced than REX, which was created in the early 2000’s. Also, when you fight Sahalanthropus, there is no one in the thing, it is an empty robot being controlled by Mantis, who floats beside the giant mech. That is actually a decent metaphor for the lack of villains in this game. Skull Face is hardly in the game and his eventual death, like every other significant event in this game, just kind of happens with no build up and packing little punch. The team of bosses in the original Metal Gear, headed up by Liquid and Ocelot, were probably the best team of villains in any game ever, since then the bosses have gone slowly downhill. The Sons of Big Boss were great, Dead Cell were pretty cool, The Cobras were okay, The Beauty & The Beast Corps were pretty lame and The Skulls in this game are emotionless zombies who don’t even have individual names and Skull Face is such a disappointing antagonist, he is hardly in the main game and then he shows up at the end, gives some silly speech that we have heard before in the trailers and then just dies, no boss fight or anything. Also, no customisable Metal Gear, which I feel like is a huge missed opportunity and no Sims like Motherbase customisation, interior or exterior.

David Hayter was missed in this game, Keifer was fine on the rare occasion he did speak, but the phantom Snake twist was the perfect opportunity to reintroduce Hayter’s voice and they didn’t take it. Also no Campbell or EVA, not even a reference. And it is never explained why the last time we see the real Big Boss, he is rescuing a child and a young girl and the next time we see him he has become modern day Hitler. Ultimately, this game just makes me sad, it is hard not to focus on the fallout from the Konima debacle, P.T/Silent Hills is no more, that promisingly terrifying demo we were teased with will amount to nothing and this game is all we will ever get again in terms of the Metal Gear saga. This is the end of an era, and it’s an end that doesn’t sit perfectly with me.
  
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Charlie Cobra Reviews (1840 KP) rated the Nintendo Switch version of Secret Neighbor in Video Games

Sep 4, 2021  
Secret Neighbor
Secret Neighbor
2021 | Horror
The Concept (1 more)
Playing as the Neighbor
Balancing, the Neighbor is too OP (1 more)
Playing as a kid isn't very fun
Fun And Intriguing Concept But Suffers From Balancing Issues
Secret Neighbor is a multiplayer Social/Horror game developed by Hologryph and published by tinyBuild Games. It is a spin-off of the Hello Neighbor franchise/series and is available on Nintendo Switch, Xbox One, and PC. Secret Neighbor was initially released in October 2019 and just recently on August 26th 2021 for Nintendo Switch. The game supports up to 6 players who must work as a group to unlock the basement. Just one catch, one of you is the Neighbor in disguise.

 I have to say first off that this kind of game is not something that I would normally play. I think my favorite games to play are FPS's, RPG's and probably fighting or adventure games. That being said, I'm also an OG gamer who have been playing games for over 30 years since Super Mario Bros. on the NES. So I've played all kinds of different kind of games and have definitely found some that were more fun than I thought they would be. This was not one of them. The game has an easy enough concept that I didn't understand at first but after reading about the game it's based off of, it makes sense. The game Hello Neighbor is kind of like a kid's version of the movie Disturbia. Your Shia LeBeouf and need to get into your Neighbor's basement after witnessing something suspicious and disturbing.

 However in this game Secret Neighbor, your not on your own. You have a group of neighborhood kids, your friends, who are there to help get into the basement too. Your job is to work together to sneak around the house and collect the keys that unlock the basement door. You can use perks and abilities unique to each class of characters. For example the detective starts with a photo of a key location, while the bagger has an extra item slot. There are six different characters altogether and you can cooperate by teaming up and staying together or splitting up and exploring alone. What could go wrong right? Well that's where the secret in Secret Neighbor comes to play. One of you is a traitor, the Neighbor in disguise. As the neighbor your job is to stop the intruders by capturing them all. You can transform in and out of your disguise and also setup traps. There are a couple of different game modes as well as a level editor for you to create your own maze and invite friends to play.

 So I went into this game with low expectations. Like I said, I'm not that big a fan of this genre or style type of game but I've heard good things about similar games like Dead by Daylight and Among Us which share some characteristics with this game, so I said why not. So going into the game right away I realized there was a learning curve. As I was trying to learn the controls and figure out what was what, I was immediately scooped up by the Neighbor and game over. This game can be really frustrating for new players in that way. Kind of reminded me of some games that are Battle Royale, like Apex because once you are captured by the Neighbor, it's game over. You can stay and watch the game and see if any of the kids make it or if the Neighbor captures everybody and win, or you can choose to leave the game without penalty. I chose to start a new game because I was determined to do better.

 The controls are actually really simple, so it's not real confusing or hard to learn. You have two slots for items, and start off with the flashlight. It's like your best friend because of how dark the lighting is in the game. You can pick up items along the way, random things you can throw like boxes, milk cartons, potted plants, etc... You can also pick up more important items like key cards and keys. The key cards get you into restricted rooms and the keys unlock the basement which is where you need to go to win the game. I think this game is really unbalanced. On way play through a player didn't even try being sneaky and just transformed into the Neighbor and captured us all. There wasn't even anything we could do about it. Then on another play through I was actually with some competent or experienced players who were finding keys right away. The problem this game faces, is the same every cooperative game faces, which is nobody works together. The Neighbor has the edge every time. I played a game where there were some really good players who knew how to throw items really good and would rescue each other and the other players from the Neighbor but he still won and captured everyone.

 The concept was interesting and sounded cool. To me it seemed something like Among Us, where you got to figure out who the Neighbor is because it's secretly one of the group and they will use that to capture everyone in secret without revealing their identity. As far as playability however, that isn't usually how it goes down and I feel the game suffers from balance issues making it not as fun as it could be. When you're the Neighbor it can be extremely fun but as the kids not so much. The graphics were good and I liked the character designs and the enviroments. It had it's own weird charm kind of like the movie Coraline. A little bit creepy and strange but not bad. There are some bad animations that happen here and there and things that don't go as smooth as they should. For example, sometimes you can close a door and someone will walk right through it. I also sat and watched as someone playing as the Neighbor couldn't capture someone hiding in a wardrobe because they kept closing the door or they kept closing the door on accident trying to capture the kid. It happened for like 3 minutes and eventually the Neighbor moved on. I also didn't like the speed movement as you walked around, I think you could push in on the control stick to run but it didn't seem that much faster or last for that long.

 The sound was great. I particularly liked the little guitar riff when waiting for a game to load up. The sound effects for actions in the game were adequate and the voice overs fit the characters but nothing that really stood out. The game definitely has its moments and can be pretty fun at times. I really enjoyed playing as the Neighbor. To sneak around as a kid and then transform into the Neighbor when you're alone in a room and capture them, then transform back and rejoin the group is thrilling. But lack of team work and communication makes most playthrough as a kid very frustrating. Playing as the detective lets you find keys easier, playing as the bagger helps you hold an extra item, but nothing really helped to escape the clutches of the Neighbor. I think one of the characters the Brave class is supposed to make escape easier but when I played as her it didn't really help. Maybe if the game had a story mode I would be more invested in it but since it was just multiplayer it got pretty repetitive and not as fun rather quickly. I would say that this game isn't for everybody but if it sounds like something similar to a game you've liked playing before, then I can see you picking it up and playing for a couple of hours here and there. As such I would say it has a moderate replay value. I give this game a 6/10.
  
Paragon: Trials of the Chosen
Paragon: Trials of the Chosen
2021 | Card Game, Fantasy, Fighting
I am going to start off with complete honesty. I have been dreading writing this review. Not because I am afraid to give anything negative criticism or because a game has been too daunting for me, but rather, because I still do not feel that after all my plays of this game that I have an absolute understanding of each of its components. I hope you will continue reading as I explain what I mean.

Paragon: Trials of the Chosen (which I will lovingly refer to as Paragon from here on out) is a fantasy deck construction fighting card game where players will be outfitting their chosen avatars with awesome gear and abilities and sending them to battle against other players’ avatars. All players will know EXACTLY what is in their draw deck AND in what order because they have constructed it card by card and the deck will never be shuffled. Intrigued?

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup, each player chooses two avatars with whom they will play. Avatars belong to one or two different Disciplines, which allows players to construct their deck with Discipline-specific cards to be used during the game. As part of setup, each player will choose 20 cards from the gigantic deck of Equipment and Ability cards with which they will form their deck for play. Per the rules, each player will then place their chosen avatars and ordered decks in front of themselves along with a blue 1d10, the green 1d10 (all set to 1 to begin), and pile of Hearts tokens. Players draw their starting hand of five cards and the battle can begin!
The green 1d10 notates the round number, and the blue 1d10 per player represents their current Energy. To bring cards into play a player will spend the printed amount of Energy and track this on their 1d10.

Each round is played over several phases. The game is designed to play to 10 rounds, but players may play past 10 while keeping the round tracker and Energy static for all rounds after 10. The first phase is the Start Phase, and acts as a maintenance phase where players will activate any “Start Phase” effects from played cards, ready all exhausted cards, increase all the d10s, and draw the top card from their deck. Should a player be unable to draw a card during this phase due to the draw deck being empty, they immediately lose the game.

The second phase is the beefy Main Phase. This is where all the action happens. During this phase, players will take turns playing cards until both players have passed. On a turn a player will have the choice of five actions: Play a Card, Trigger an Activated Effect, Declare an Attack, Channel Energy, and Pass. To Play a Card the active player will pay the cost (in Energy) printed on the card and bring it into play exhausted. Cards brought into play this way will be attached to one of the avatars and act as an equipment or new ability, as long as the card played matches the Discipline of the avatar to which it is attached.

To Trigger an Activated Effect, the player will need to satisfy any qualifying conditions of the activation, which are printed on the card. These abilities can vary wildly and add immense strategy to play.

Once a player believes they have enough firepower attached to their avatars they may instead Declare an Attack by announcing their target and exhausting the card that is attacking. It is here that Paragon strays from the norm. Instead of damage simply being dealt to the opponent, the player may engage in a volley of playing Instant cards from hand (and paying their Energy costs) to add to the card stack. This is important, as the stack is then resolved in reverse order of play. So the last card to be played on the stack will be resolved first. This can result in attacks being nullified or shielded before they even proc. Sneaky and wily players will certainly use this phase wisely to draw out cards from their opponents’ hands. Once the stack is built, it is resolved and damage is calculated.

Players may instead elect to Channel Energy by exhausting one of their avatars to add 1 Energy to their pool. This may be repeated as long as the other avatar is available to be exhausted.

Lastly, and most easily, when players have no other actions they can or wish to complete, they may Pass in order to close out the round of phases.


When both players have Passed, the End Phase begins, and acts as another maintenance cleanup phase to ready players for the next round. This includes resolving any “End Phase” effects and increasing the round d10 by 1. The game ends once a player’s two avatars have been defeated or a player is unable to draw a card from their draw deck. The winner then boasts mightily in the face of their competitor and spews taunts and rematch challenges.
Components. This one is simple. Paragon has a giant stack of cards, a few d10s, and some wooden Heart tokens. The tokens are double-sided with a 1 printed on one side and a 3 on the other. These are obviously to track HP loss, and are fine. The 3d10 in this version are entry-level, and I will probably bling it out with some d10s that are more themed. The cards. Okay, I will certainly be sleeving this game. I want to keep my copy in excellent condition for as long as I can. In the last photo here, I splayed out the avatars that are currently included, and all the other cards stacked are the equipment and abilities to be attached to the avatars. I have no problems with the components in Paragon (I just want to get more exciting d10s to use).

There really is an insane amount of choice and customization that can be had in constructing a deck for the chosen avatars, and that is precisely why I mention in the opening that I have yet to understand all the components: how will I ever be able to perfect a combination that speaks to me and works with my style when I have about a zillion options available? I know many gamers will salivate over the amount of deliberation and possibilities contained in the box, and after several plays, I find myself weighing options in my head throughout the day. When you think about a game throughout the day and how you will attempt to play it next time, I feel that is a sign of a truly great game for you.

This is certainly not for everyone, but it definitely is for me. I truly cannot wait to try out different combinations, strategies, and deck configurations each time I play. I can also see Paragon being ripe for multiple expansions, with new avatars representing new Disciplines, or adding in expansion material that is themed for different IPs or historical eras. Well, I guess it is time to pick up a part-time job to fund my Paragon expansions.

If you are like me and enjoy games that offer near-infinite possibilities and the true feeling of never playing the same game twice, then Paragon needs to be on your shelf. The rules are easily-digestible, games take 30 minutes once you are familiar with it, and there are a ton of unique cards included in this box. Purple Phoenix Games gives Paragon an excited 5 / 6. I really think that with more plays and tweaks to my copy (maybe an expansion or two thrown in) this could eek up to a 6 and earn a Golden Feather Award from me. It is smooth, exciting, and just oozing with customization that many gamers are going to absolutely love. Go find yourself a copy and get it to the table right away!
  
Jurassic Parts
Jurassic Parts
2020 | Animals
Is it just me or are we experiencing a surge in dinosaur-themed board games lately? I certainly am NOT complaining, as I was one of those dinosaur-obsessed kids growing up (shout out to the dino sheet set I rocked as a kid in the 80s). We have had dino theme parks, and digging for dinos, but we haven’t really gotten this particular spin on paleontology. Yeah, you can find individual bones and dig them up, but what if you found a gigantic slab of rock that encased many different species’ bones? How would you split it up? And what happens when you aren’t the only team to make the discovery?

Jurassic Parts is an interesting mix and spins of area control, enclosure, and set collection for two to five players. In it, players are all paleontologists bent on claiming the biggest and best bones from a giant slab of rock containing dozens of dino species. The catch? Each paleontologist is trying to claim the bones for themselves. Sharp wit, good luck, and a bevvy of sharpened chisels spells success and fame for the paleontologist who wins at collecting Jurassic Parts.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup, set aside one of the Pile of Bones (a wild card, of which there are several in the game) and shuffle the rest of the tiles. Split them into two stacks, flip one stack face-down, and build a slab around the Pile of Bones set aside earlier. This creates the slab of rock the players will be splitting. Each player receives their choice of paleontologist character sheet, chisels in their chosen color, and any pre-start resources per the rulebook. The slab is now ready for splitting!
On a turn, the active player will have several options. Firstly, however, the player must sharpen three chisels by moving them from the Dull Chisels are on the right of their sheet to the Sharp Chisels area on the left. Now the player may place their chisels anywhere on the slab, as long as it is on the gap between two tiles. The purpose of this is to create a wonky line of chisels that will break off sections of the slab from the larger chunk. Players will need to beware of rock piles on either side of their preferred placement, as each rock icon on either side of the placement will require an extra chisel to be dulled and discarded. If a chisel placement would cause a line to be completed, a hunk of the slab is separated from the master slab. Players consult with the line of chisels (as shown below) to determine which player has contributed more to the split than the others. This will rank out all contributing players. The player with the most chisels contributed will be able to claim their choice of HALF of the tiles split off, rounded UP (so a player would receive five tiles from a nine-tile split). The next player in contribution order will then have their choice of HALF of the remaining tiles, rounded UP (so the second player would receive two tiles from the previous example, as there would be four left). Subsequent players would then receive HALF of what is left until all tiles have been claimed, or there remains just one tile. This final tile is then given to the Field Leader for his collection.

In addition to this splitting and claiming on a turn, the active player may also make transactions with the Field Leader at any point during their turn. Actions that can be taken while transacting with the Field Leader are selling one tile to him in exchange for an Amber piece, spending Amber to: ignore rocks on the subsequent two chisel placements, sharpen two additional chisels this turn, take any of the leftover fossil tiles from the Field Leader, or take any fossil tile from the slab (as long as it doesn’t create a split). The first action from the Field Leader will cost the player one Amber. Should they wish to enact another action, its cost is two Amber. Subsequent actions on the same turn cost three Amber each.

As you will notice, fossil tiles from the slab will show plant fossils, Pile of Bones (wild), or actual bones belonging to specific dinosaurs. These specific bones will show an alphabetic letter pair icon to denote to which dinosaur it belongs. If, at the end of the game, players are able to assemble the correct type of fossil tiles belonging to specific dinosaurs, they will score many more points than if the dino skeleton were incomplete. For example, at the end of the game, each fossil tile is worth 1VP if from an incomplete skeleton. However, should a player have completed a Velociraptor skeleton, they will receive 4VP for those two tiles. A completed Triceratops scores 7VP, a T-Rex scores 10VP, a Brachiosaurus scores 15VP, and a tiny Pterodactyl scores 1VP for a complete skeleton because it spans only one tile. The Pile of Bones tiles in the game can be used in place of any other fossil tile to complete a skeleton, and Plant tiles score increasingly more points for a larger collection of them.


Play continues in this fashion of sharpening and placing chisels, breaking off sections of the slab and claiming fossil tiles, and utilizing actions at the Field Leader until all slab tiles have been assigned. The player with the most points from complete and incomplete skeletons and plants will be crowned the winner and the greatest paleontologist in the land… until the next playthrough.
Components. You know how you come to expect certain things from publishers, and can just imagine the quality of the game you are about to receive before seeing it? Such is the case with 25th Century Games. I KNOW that I will be receiving a quality product every time, and this certainly is no exception. The fossil tiles are great and sturdy. The chisels are neatly-designed and multifaceted (which I appreciate, as it would be easy to include tubular chisels and have them rolling around the table everywhere). The amber bits are the typical gemstones you find in Century: Golem Edition, but are the absolute PERFECT color and usage for this game. And did you see that first player marker? It’s a mosquito inside a polished amber stone. I mean, COME ON! How perfect is that? I’m excited just TALKING about the components. I haven’t even touched on art yet, and this is longer than most of my components paragraphs. The art is fabulous. It fits the game and the theme so perfectly – I could not have chosen a better fit myself. Has 25th Century Games set the bar too high for themselves, or will they continue to offer high quality games from here on out? I cannot wait to find out!

So sure, it looks great, but what about the gameplay? Do the art and components merely shield a mediocre game? No. Not at all. Being able to place chisels anywhere you like on the board offers players a freedom that is refreshing, but weighing that against the pressure to contribute to an existing or emerging line of chisels so that you are included in the split is just wonderful. Contemplating turns to sell off fossil tiles in order to earn enough amber to gain more chisels, or bypass rocks, or simply take the perfect tile for your collection offers just enough tacticization (why isn’t that a word…) to warm up the brain without indulging the AP in some players.

This is not at all a heavy game, and it certainly doesn’t need to be. It is just a fun time with friends and family that utilizes interesting twists of mechanics that I enjoy. It feels reminiscent of several games (hints of Through the Desert and a twist on I Split You Choose), but it entirely its own design. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one very rewarding 10 / 12. I generally enjoy most dinosaur-themed games, I understand, but this one sits among the best I have played. If you are looking for something that feels both familiar and fresh, with incredible art and components, you need to grab a copy of Jurassic Parts. There are just so many interesting choices to be made and strategies to attempt. I think I will setup a game right now. Want to come play?
  
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Mothergamer (1514 KP) rated the PC version of The Witcher III: Wild Hunt in Video Games

Apr 3, 2019  
The Witcher III: Wild Hunt
The Witcher III: Wild Hunt
Role-Playing
I was excited to play Witcher 3 Complete Edition as I had never played it before, yet I had read all the books about the Witcher Geralt and liked them a lot. I have not played the first two games, but they are both on my to play list. Geralt's world is interesting filled with complex characters, fantastic monsters, and great storytelling. All I can say is that I have a ton of games to play and some things get backlogged. I still have a stack of PS3 games to play and of course, I'll be playing the remastered Skyrim for PS4 when it comes out and that's another game I haven't played yet, but for this moment let's discuss how much I loved Witcher 3.

 Yes, I loved Witcher 3. I stayed up way too late many a night playing this game because I was having so much fun running around killing monsters and helping people in need. My vision of Geralt was someone who did his best to do the right thing and that sometimes that meant siding with the occasional monster because there were times when humans were the real monsters. The story drew me in right away and these were characters and lore I was familiar with so I was thrilled to explore the entire world in the game. Truly, I unlocked entire maps because I just had to know what everything was. The areas that were too high a level for me at the time I made a note of where they were and came back later. I think it's great when a game makes exploration fun and it definitely helped having Geralt's horse, Roach to help that exploration go a bit faster.

The environments in Witcher 3 are amazing. I would find myself stopping and just looking around at the scenery whether it was roaming through a forest or wandering the streets of a city. The attention to minute details was quite impressive. The gameplay is great. The gaming controls are fine tuned to make battles fun without feeling frustrating and the camera angles are spot on which made a terrific gaming experience for me. The music for Witcher 3 is beautiful. My favorite music was for the area of Skellige. Skellige was also my favorite place to explore because it was so pretty there with all the wild flowers and forests. I genuinely liked the people there too because many of them did not treat Geralt with complete suspicion or call him a freak the way they did in cities like Novigrad. They respected him and what he did; the fact that he was a Witcher and had cat eyes didn't really come up much. I felt that showed a lot of variety in the thinking of the people in the different areas.

There are mini games to play as well. I enjoyed the horse races because those were fun and worth the time and effort. They gave some great rewards such as saddle bags that increased my inventory space and saddles that increased my horse's stamina and speed. Then there's a card game called Gwent which you can play with various people ranging from innkeepers to some of Geralt's friends. I really tried with Gwent. It was a bit confusing for me and I found myself looking up videos on YouTube just to try and get the gist of it, and it helped a bit. However, a huge shout out to my friend Danny for giving a simple explanation of how it worked and the best strategy to winning because that helped more. I mainly just wanted to finish the Gwent side quests I had and I managed to do that. After that, I no longer bothered playing Gwent. It just wasn't my thing, but I will say graphics wise it was a well designed mini game and while it was a tad frustrating for me, I understood why many of my friends enjoyed it. There's also fist fights tournaments (think Fight Club) that Geralt can participate in. I aced the heck out of those and won all those prize coin purses. My favorite fight was the Rock Troll because it was interesting and I got to learn his name at the end; a reward for winning the fight.

Level grinding was not a chore for me in the game because there were so many quests and Witcher contracts which involves hunting specific monsters or investigating things that might involve monsters. These offer good experience and a lot of money for Geralt. There are times when the leveling feels a bit uneven because sometimes the main story quests give more experience than a few of the contracts and side quests. It's not a big deal, but it is noticeable. The skills menu for unlocking Geralt's Witcher abilities and upgrading them is easy to navigate and quite user friendly. My favorite skill was an upgrade of the Axii skill known as Puppet which could make enemies fight each other. The cutscenes and voice acting are superb; while the loading times are practically seamless which made me very happy.


First of all, I don't like anyone telling me what to do. Ask my parents. There was a time when I was told to eat my vegetables when I was a kid and instead of doing that, I stealthily put them under my chair and claimed my plate was clean because I wanted to go play with my friends. Hey, I was four. What the heck did I know about being a mastermind? My parents bought it for two minutes until they discovered it and yes, it was wrong of me to think that I didn't have to listen and tried to fool my parents but this gives you an idea about how long I've been like this. Don't get me wrong, if you just have a conversation with me and we have a healthy discussion I will listen to what you have to say. What I don't respond well to is comments like, "You should NOT be playing that game because of this, that, or the other thing." Ultimately I like to decide and think for myself and I think everyone should be able to decide for themselves whether or not they want to play a game, read a book, or see a movie.

While playing Witcher 3 two things came up about this which were I should not play the game because there are no people of color in it and that it was sexist to women. I honestly did not know there was a huge hullabaloo about these things when the game was first released because honestly I get busy with things going on in my life and I tend to just choose games that pique my interest. I thought the game looked interesting, so I bought it. That's really all there was to it.


As for the second aspect regarding the game being sexist towards women, I just find myself wondering where this comes from. There are several, I repeat, several strong female characters in the lore of Witcher and in the game. How is any of it sexist towards women? Look, I understand not liking all the boobies in the brothels and the sexual scenes in the game. It's not for everyone and some folks are just not down for it. It never bothered me and some of those sex scenes have some amusing humor in them. The argument that Geralt feels no emotions so it's sexist towards women is utter crap. If a person takes the time to actually read any of the books, read the lore, or actually tried to play the game they would know that Geralt can not express emotions on his face because of all the mutations that Witchers go through. Geralt actually feels very deeply especially when it comes to people like Yennefer who is his true love, Ciri who is like a daughter to him, and of course Vesemir who is a mentor/father figure to him. The fact that he can't physically express those emotions due to him essentially being a mutant shouldn't count against him.

The issues with things like Ciri being called a bitch by men or Yennefer being called a whore; those are things that happen in the real world and they sure as hell happened way too often throughout history. Part of the storytelling of many artistic things is that it finds a creative way to discuss real world issues and inform you hey, this kind of thing happens open your eyes. The part I loved is that these women did not need saving. They handled it themselves. The man who called Ciri a bitch? She broke his nose and she stuck up for herself. Yennefer handled the man who called her a whore and she held her own very well. These are not wilting flowers. These are strong, intelligent, and brave women in the story and I was thrilled that a fantasy game had them. Honestly, as soon as I heard the sentence, "Feminist Frequency said..." I felt my eyes rolling because this is such a stretch. I'm not saying that they're not entitled to their opinion because they are, but I did not see any evidence of that in the game at all and I disagree.

Games are meant to be fun and for me Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt was so much fun and one of the best games I've ever played. The story, the open exploration, and the diverse characters were amazing and I enjoyed it immensely. Now, I'm going to play through again on new game plus because the completionist in me wants to get all the different endings and the game is worth playing multiple times if one wishes.
  
C
Carniepunk
6
7.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
As soon as I read about this collection on Kevin Hearne's Facebook, I knew I would be buying it. I don't care for carnivals at all, and every story will be related to one in some way - but there was just no way I was going to miss an Atticus and Oberon story! I even pre-ordered the book on Amazon, the first time I've ever done that. It was SO hard not to skip right ahead and read Hearne's contribution the moment the book was in my hot little hands, but I managed some discipline.

Rob Thurman's "Painted Love" opens the book. It is dark, but to be fair it isn't quite as dark as the only Thurman novel I've read, from the Cal Leandros series. I rather liked the twist. I adored the fiercely protective older sister, especially the way she is described. I'll rate this one at three.

I don't believe I've ever read anything by Delilah S. Dawson before, certainly not anything in the Blud universe, so I had no idea what to expect from "The Three Lives of Lydia." It was a far darker story than I would generally choose to read. I found the male love interest highly appealing. The portrayal of mental illness was horrific. I found it interesting that Dawson is an Atlantan as well as a fellow geeky mom, but I'm sure that I've never heard of her before. She does have a book coming out next year that looks promising, so I may give it a read. This one's a two.

Then there is the Iron Druid story! "The Demon Barker of Wheat Street" is set a few books back in the series' chronology (two weeks after "Two Ravens and One Crow"), so Granuaille isn't yet a full Druid. To make things even more interesting, Atticus accidentally offended the local elemental many years ago, so his magic doesn't work as well as usual in the area. The story isn't vital to the series, and knowledge of the series isn't necessary for enjoying it. Hearne's fans definitely won't want to miss it, though, and it could be used as a nice little taste of his style for new readers. Definitely a five.

I couldn't make it through "The Sweeter the Juice" by Mark Henry. Zombies are disgusting, but I was way squicked before the first walking dead even appeared on the scene. A one, just because there are no zeroes.

Jaye Wells is another new-to-me author, as far as I can remember at the moment. I didn't really like "The Werewife," to be honest. There was no joy anywhere in this story. There wasn't even a hint that perhaps the couple in the story had been happy together at one time. Both of them seemed pretty miserable, and I didn't like the way it ended. It didn't seem like there was any way to give them a happy ending, but that ending didn't feel "true." It gets a two, and that's only to set it apart from the previous story.

"The Cold Girl" by Rachel Caine is about an abusive teen relationship. Oh, and vampires. I'm not a Caine fan, but this story was better than some of her other work. Again, too dark for my tastes. If half stars were possible, it would have one. I'll be nice and round up to three.

The name Allison Pang sounds familiar, so maybe I've read something by her in the past. If I did, I'm certain that it wasn't set in the same world as "A Duet With Darkness," which says it is an Abby Sinclair story. I found the main character to be an annoying, immature twit, but I'm a sucker for fiction with musical influences. The music is well-done here. I don't know if I will read anything more by Ms. Pang or not - I suppose that depends on whether or not her other work has better characters and is also musical. This one gets a four.

I found "Recession of the Divine" by Hillary Jacques fascinating. The Greek inspiration was unusual. I didn't really buy the customers being quite so unquestioning of Ophelia's state, but it wasn't a major complaint overall. I was highly disappointed to find nothing but a credit in another anthology for her. But! Reading the author profiles at the end of the book pays off, because that's how I learned that she also writes as Regan Summers. Now her works published under that name are on my to-read shelf. Another five.

Jennifer Estep's "Parlor Tricks" was actually released free on Amazon a little while back to promote Carniepunk, so it was the first story I read. I enjoy the Elemental Assassin series in general, and this story is no exception. Again, knowledge of the series is not required to understand the story, and the story is not vital to the series. It is a nice little sample, though, and I enjoyed seeing Gin and Bria having a sisterly outing. I'm probably biased, but it gets a five.

 I liked Kelly Meding's "Freak House" a lot, and her name sounded familiar, but the story was set in the "Strays" universe, which I was certain I had never heard of before. I actually stirred myself to look her up, and learned that I've had one of her books on my to-read list for ages, and Strays is a new series she's just starting. Djinn, werewolves, vampires, pixies, harpies, leprechauns, skinwalkers, and more, some "out" to humans, some living hidden - what's not to love? This one gets a four.

Nicole Peeler us yet another author who sounded vaguely familiar to me, and yep, there is one of her books on my to-read list (yes, it is massive, why do you ask?). It is, in fact, the first of the Jane True books, and "The Inside Man" is set in that world. Peeler's writing style dies not flow for me, but I liked Capitola Jones and her friends Shar and Moo. As clowns are indisputably evil, I had little to complain about in the story. It gets a three.

Succubus (former?) Jezzie is the main character in Jackie Kessler's story "A Chance in Hell." Obviously, the story is set her Hell on Earth series. I had to look that up, though, because while I know you're shocked, her name did not ring any bells for me. I don't actually have ALL the urban fantasy books on my to-read or read lists! The piece opens with a confusing remark about a demon eating Jezebel's face, when that definitely is not the anatomy in question. If that's a common euphemism, it is wholly new to me. Within the next couple of pages there are multiple references to the fact that she has fallen in love with a human since becoming mortal, but absolutely no explanation of how she would reconcile sex with an incubus with her human love. As much as I would prefer that it were not the case, the default assumption in our society is that people are monogamous. Therefore, when there is a deviation from that norm, the reader expects - something. Is it supposed to demonstrate that the fictional society is different? Is the character in an explicitly non-monogamous relationship? Is her love unrequited? Is the guy dead? Do demons not count? Is she just a skanky ho? Then this great love isn't mentioned again for the rest of the story, so none of the questions raised are answered. Oh. There is, in fact, a plot here, but I was so annoyed by that stuff that I almost failed to notice it. Demonic circus, yo. The whole demon thing reminds me too much of another series I've read in the past. I can't even remember the author's name, much less the title, right now, but Kessler's work feels derivative. She gets a two.

Next up is Kelly Gay - Hey look! Another author whose name I don't recognize! - with "Hell's Menagerie," a Charlie Madigan short story. Okay, this series is set in an alternate Atlanta. As an Atlanta girl, that certainly gets my attention. And Charlie is a single mother. I don't recall any other single mothers in the UF world right off. (Kate Daniels doesn't quite count, because she adopted her daughter as a teen. Although it is interesting to note that Kate is also Atlanta-based.) I was ready to like this one, based solely on what I knew of the series. Then there was a grammatical error on the second page of the story that set my teeth on edge, one which could not be chalked up to a character's voice. Add in the fact that we get a fast, "and also, Jim" style introduction to Charlie (who isn't even present in the story!), Rex, and Emma in less than two pages, and I am officially annoyed. It isn't an old matinee movie, so surely that information could have been worked in a little more naturally? Emma won me over. Mostly. There's some, "Not another super-gifted kid," reaction, but I guess if the mother is supposed to be all that it's to be expected that the daughter might be special, too. Hmm. A three.

The last piece is Seaman McGuire's "Daughter of the Midway, the Mermaid, and the Open, Lonely, Sea." Is that title a mouthful, or what? It has the feel of a Toby Daye story, although it isn't subtitled as such, and there are no fae so maybe it isn't in that universe at all. As there are other stories in the book that are set in the same world as their author's series, yet not marked in any way, lack of a subtitle can't be taken as a negative indicator, though. In any case, the story is poignant, which I've come to expect from McGuire. I didn't really like it, but I didn't dislike it, either. I couldn't "feel" Ada in any true sense. I have the same problem with Toby. A three at best.

Overall, the book was decent. The ratings only average out to 3.21, but I'm very glad to have read the stories by Hearne and Estep. Discovering Jacques/Summers was absolutely worthwhile. I really hate that I read as much of Henry's story as I did. If I could delete that from my memory, it would probably raise the rating for everything else.
  
If I Stay (2014)
If I Stay (2014)
2014 | Drama
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. That’s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that she’s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, she’s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether it’s really even worth it to endure life’s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.

Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.

Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.

First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.

Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.


If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.

(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)