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“OMG when is Purple Phoenix Games gonna review another Harry Potter game??” We listened. So here is the next installment of our unofficial Harry Potter games series. In Harry Potter: Hogwarts Battle – Defence Against the Dark Arts (which I will gladly reduce to Defence throughout the review, even though my American English Spidey-Senses are all over that spelling), players will be playing through a duel in the classroom using spells, allies, and items to push back and stun their opponent. Have you got the wand strength to stand up to your rival?
Like I just mentioned, Defence pits two players against each other in a sparring scenario. Players will be drafting cards that represent Spells to sling, Allies to aid, and Items to help knock opponents off their balance. The winner of Defence is the wizard who can stun their opponent three times. Only then will they be able to stand a chance against their dark foes.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup a game, follow the rulebook instructions to lay out the main duel board and its shuffled decks that will surround it. These include the Hogwarts deck (from which players will be purchasing cards to add to their discard piles), the Library deck (which includes only Books cards that add influence or the ability to draw the top card of the player deck), Hexes (which are placed directly in the opponent’s discard pile and must be dealt with first when in hand), and Banished cards. Each player will choose a House card and a matching mover token to be placed on the board. Likewise, each player will have a starting hand of seven Alohomora! cards, one Wand, one Cauldron, and one starter Ally: Owl, Toad, or Cat. Each player will shuffle their starting deck, drawing five for their starting hand. Determine the starting player and the duel may begin!
On a player’s turn they will first deal with any Hex cards they have acquired, following the instructions written on the card. Once cleared, the active player will play cards from their hand in any order they wish to gain Influence to purchase cards from the Classroom (market), Attack points to push back their opponent towards the Stun space, or Health points to move their own mover token one space closer to the Starting space on the board.
Cards that are purchased from the Classroom can be Items, Spells, or even Allies. Items and Spells typically provide Influence, Health, or Attack, and some will have House bonuses in addition to normal effects. In order to take advantage of the House bonus, a player will either need to be from the affiliated House, or have an active Ally belonging to the affiliated House. This is a new mechanic in this game and adds another layer of strategy to a player’s purchasing.
As wizards duel back and forth slinging Spells, recruiting and activating Allies, and using Items to push back their opponent, one wizard will be stunned. When this happens the players will reset their play areas by combining all of their cards they have in their possession. Shuffle the lot of them, draw another hand of five cards and reset their mover token back to the Starting space. The next round is ready to begin and the wizard who stuns their opponent thrice will be crowned champion! Or get an A for the day… or whatever the Common Core equivalent is nowadays.
Components. I have many great things to say about the components in this box and a couple little gripes. Gripelets, really. First gripe: the box comes with a cardstock sleeve. It is very cool and looks great, but it’s unnecessary and I find it keeps snagging on other boxes and such. Not a big deal, as I can always get rid of it, but that’s an opinion. Second, the board is very dark. It features a very dark purple (yay purple!) with black spaces upon which players move their tokens. The colors are very close under certain lighting and I wish there was even just a faint outline of the spaces in a white or gray. Lastly, and probably just me and the way I play, the Attack and Health trackers are almost completely unnecessary. I know you are supposed to take a token every time you “Gain” a Health or Attack point, but I always just keep track in my head thus negating the need for the tokens.
But onto the great. Literally everything else is great. I have always enjoyed the components in the original game, and as this one contains many of the same, I also enjoy these. The art style is interesting and pretty cool, and I really don’t mind screencaps as much as many others do. So for me, overall, I really enjoy the components here.
All in all I truly love this game. I am almost always in the mood to play Harry Potter: Hogwarts Battle, but it is cooperative and my wife doesn’t really enjoy the OG HP game. This one, however, she does enjoy because she can just flex on me and stun me into oblivion with her superior deckbuilding abilities. This one is quicker to setup and play, and holds a much smaller footprint. The mechanics are familiar without being totally duplicating, and I just love deckbuilders in general. So this one was bound to be a big hit with me from the start.
If you are looking for a great Harry Potter-themed deckbuilding game and are not completely sold on the bigger cooperative game, take a look at this much smaller two-player competitive title. Do try to take some of the cards with a grain of salt, as I am sure it is difficult to imagine having both Hermione and Draco as allies simultaneously, but it can happen in the game. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a very enthusiastic 11 / 12. Just a word of caution, try not to Flipendo your table when you lose. It won’t end well.
Like I just mentioned, Defence pits two players against each other in a sparring scenario. Players will be drafting cards that represent Spells to sling, Allies to aid, and Items to help knock opponents off their balance. The winner of Defence is the wizard who can stun their opponent three times. Only then will they be able to stand a chance against their dark foes.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup a game, follow the rulebook instructions to lay out the main duel board and its shuffled decks that will surround it. These include the Hogwarts deck (from which players will be purchasing cards to add to their discard piles), the Library deck (which includes only Books cards that add influence or the ability to draw the top card of the player deck), Hexes (which are placed directly in the opponent’s discard pile and must be dealt with first when in hand), and Banished cards. Each player will choose a House card and a matching mover token to be placed on the board. Likewise, each player will have a starting hand of seven Alohomora! cards, one Wand, one Cauldron, and one starter Ally: Owl, Toad, or Cat. Each player will shuffle their starting deck, drawing five for their starting hand. Determine the starting player and the duel may begin!
On a player’s turn they will first deal with any Hex cards they have acquired, following the instructions written on the card. Once cleared, the active player will play cards from their hand in any order they wish to gain Influence to purchase cards from the Classroom (market), Attack points to push back their opponent towards the Stun space, or Health points to move their own mover token one space closer to the Starting space on the board.
Cards that are purchased from the Classroom can be Items, Spells, or even Allies. Items and Spells typically provide Influence, Health, or Attack, and some will have House bonuses in addition to normal effects. In order to take advantage of the House bonus, a player will either need to be from the affiliated House, or have an active Ally belonging to the affiliated House. This is a new mechanic in this game and adds another layer of strategy to a player’s purchasing.
As wizards duel back and forth slinging Spells, recruiting and activating Allies, and using Items to push back their opponent, one wizard will be stunned. When this happens the players will reset their play areas by combining all of their cards they have in their possession. Shuffle the lot of them, draw another hand of five cards and reset their mover token back to the Starting space. The next round is ready to begin and the wizard who stuns their opponent thrice will be crowned champion! Or get an A for the day… or whatever the Common Core equivalent is nowadays.
Components. I have many great things to say about the components in this box and a couple little gripes. Gripelets, really. First gripe: the box comes with a cardstock sleeve. It is very cool and looks great, but it’s unnecessary and I find it keeps snagging on other boxes and such. Not a big deal, as I can always get rid of it, but that’s an opinion. Second, the board is very dark. It features a very dark purple (yay purple!) with black spaces upon which players move their tokens. The colors are very close under certain lighting and I wish there was even just a faint outline of the spaces in a white or gray. Lastly, and probably just me and the way I play, the Attack and Health trackers are almost completely unnecessary. I know you are supposed to take a token every time you “Gain” a Health or Attack point, but I always just keep track in my head thus negating the need for the tokens.
But onto the great. Literally everything else is great. I have always enjoyed the components in the original game, and as this one contains many of the same, I also enjoy these. The art style is interesting and pretty cool, and I really don’t mind screencaps as much as many others do. So for me, overall, I really enjoy the components here.
All in all I truly love this game. I am almost always in the mood to play Harry Potter: Hogwarts Battle, but it is cooperative and my wife doesn’t really enjoy the OG HP game. This one, however, she does enjoy because she can just flex on me and stun me into oblivion with her superior deckbuilding abilities. This one is quicker to setup and play, and holds a much smaller footprint. The mechanics are familiar without being totally duplicating, and I just love deckbuilders in general. So this one was bound to be a big hit with me from the start.
If you are looking for a great Harry Potter-themed deckbuilding game and are not completely sold on the bigger cooperative game, take a look at this much smaller two-player competitive title. Do try to take some of the cards with a grain of salt, as I am sure it is difficult to imagine having both Hermione and Draco as allies simultaneously, but it can happen in the game. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a very enthusiastic 11 / 12. Just a word of caution, try not to Flipendo your table when you lose. It won’t end well.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Dungeon Academy in Tabletop Games
Dec 8, 2020
Roll-and-write style games have come a really long way over the past couple years. In the olden days we had Yahtzee, and that satisfied us. But then designers began dusting off that olde mechanic and breathing new life into it. While roll-and-write may never become my favorite mechanic, I am starting to appreciate the good ones more and more each time I play them. Dungeon Academy is one of these good games.
In Dungeon Academy players are taking the roles of students attempting their finals to become graduated warriors and mages in the land. They must pass their tests though, and that entails surviving through the dreaded Dungeon four times and surpassing all opponents to receive their degree.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup a solo game of Dungeon Academy, assemble the Dungeon component per the instructions. The player is dealt a character card with a special ability and markers to track Health and Mana throughout the game. Pile the Health and Mana tokens on the table, shuffle the Loot cards into a deck, and place the Teacher pawn nearby. Grab the pad of paper and pen and you are ready to begin.
Each attempt in the Dungeon will require the 16 Base Dice to be rolled and set inside the Dungeon. It is then flipped upside down when the timer begins and the mad dash to the Exit commences. As the player marks a line through every “room” (each die is considered a “room” in the Dungeon) they create a path to be checked at the end of the round. Once the player has made it through the Dungeon satisfactorily the Teacher will check the path.
The Teacher pawn is now used to track movement in the Dungeon. As the player tracks the path they drew on the paper, the Teacher is moved through the rooms. In each room (each die face) will be one of these possible encounters: a Mana potion to refill an empty Mana space on the character card, a Health potion, a small red Blob, a small blue Ghost, a large red Colossus, or a large blue Reaper. Each small foe encountered will be overtaken by spending one Health or Mana token from the character card. Each potion will restore spent Health or Mana. Each large foe encountered will require two Health or Mana to be spent. As the Teacher follows the path set by the player, Health and Mana will be spent and replenished on the character card, and foes defeated tracked on the sheet.
Once complete, the player will add up all the points from defeated foes (1VP per foe) and any VP from special character abilities or Loot cards. Additionally, the player will choose one of the four Quests at the bottom of the sheet to score each round for extra VP. They write these numbers on the sheet and prepare for the next level. After four total levels the game ends and the total is compared to a scale in the rulebook.
Multiplayer Dungeon Academy works the exact same way except once a player exits the Dungeon, they must grab the lowest-numbered Exit card as representation of the place finished in the Dungeon (so the first one out grabs the 1 card, etc.). The other difference from solo play is that players all compare total VP at the game end to determine the winner.
Components. This game has a large scorepad of 150 double-sided sheets, a bunch of cards for Hero characters, Loot, and Exits, as well as 18 total dice, about a trillion double-sided Health/Mana tokens and an impressive cardboard Dungeon. Everything is of wonderful Matagot quality… except for the Duneon. In my copy the Dungeon does not stay together very well. I may attempt some glue to keep the parts down that need to stay down, but it is still functional and a great design. The art style across the game is cute and fun, and I like the muted bright color scheme. That feels so weird to say/type, but the colors are vibrant hues, but muted so they stay out of the way. It’s strange and I love it.
Speaking of I love it, I love this game! It is quickly becoming one of my favorite roll-and-write games, and I can play it solo. In about 15 minutes. These are all positives, and I haven’t even really touched on the gameplay. Being able to get through a light solo game in 15 minutes while having a great time throughout is an achievement, and one I would like to applaud here. I wasn’t really sure going into this if I was going to enjoy it, but it has blown me away. Trying to evaluate the best path through the Dungeon while keeping track of how the Health and Mana is always in flux gives my brain a welcomed workout that is just a breath of fresh air for me. I love the art style and the theme, and the simple but easy to understand iconography on the dice is much appreciated.
I think that if you are looking for or lacking a similar type game in your collection you should do yourself a favor and check out Dungeon Academy. It is super quick, easy to grasp and play, requires little table space, and is simply a great time alone or with your gamer friends and family. I know I am going to be tracking lots of plays with this one. I am going to have to find a place on my shelves at eye-level because I don’t want it to be overshadowed down at foot-level.
If you already enjoy roll-and-write games and want something a little different with a great theme, or you don’t have any roll-and-writes and want to check one out for the first time, or you simply cannot get enough games featuring great art about wizards in school check this one out. I recommend it.
In Dungeon Academy players are taking the roles of students attempting their finals to become graduated warriors and mages in the land. They must pass their tests though, and that entails surviving through the dreaded Dungeon four times and surpassing all opponents to receive their degree.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup a solo game of Dungeon Academy, assemble the Dungeon component per the instructions. The player is dealt a character card with a special ability and markers to track Health and Mana throughout the game. Pile the Health and Mana tokens on the table, shuffle the Loot cards into a deck, and place the Teacher pawn nearby. Grab the pad of paper and pen and you are ready to begin.
Each attempt in the Dungeon will require the 16 Base Dice to be rolled and set inside the Dungeon. It is then flipped upside down when the timer begins and the mad dash to the Exit commences. As the player marks a line through every “room” (each die is considered a “room” in the Dungeon) they create a path to be checked at the end of the round. Once the player has made it through the Dungeon satisfactorily the Teacher will check the path.
The Teacher pawn is now used to track movement in the Dungeon. As the player tracks the path they drew on the paper, the Teacher is moved through the rooms. In each room (each die face) will be one of these possible encounters: a Mana potion to refill an empty Mana space on the character card, a Health potion, a small red Blob, a small blue Ghost, a large red Colossus, or a large blue Reaper. Each small foe encountered will be overtaken by spending one Health or Mana token from the character card. Each potion will restore spent Health or Mana. Each large foe encountered will require two Health or Mana to be spent. As the Teacher follows the path set by the player, Health and Mana will be spent and replenished on the character card, and foes defeated tracked on the sheet.
Once complete, the player will add up all the points from defeated foes (1VP per foe) and any VP from special character abilities or Loot cards. Additionally, the player will choose one of the four Quests at the bottom of the sheet to score each round for extra VP. They write these numbers on the sheet and prepare for the next level. After four total levels the game ends and the total is compared to a scale in the rulebook.
Multiplayer Dungeon Academy works the exact same way except once a player exits the Dungeon, they must grab the lowest-numbered Exit card as representation of the place finished in the Dungeon (so the first one out grabs the 1 card, etc.). The other difference from solo play is that players all compare total VP at the game end to determine the winner.
Components. This game has a large scorepad of 150 double-sided sheets, a bunch of cards for Hero characters, Loot, and Exits, as well as 18 total dice, about a trillion double-sided Health/Mana tokens and an impressive cardboard Dungeon. Everything is of wonderful Matagot quality… except for the Duneon. In my copy the Dungeon does not stay together very well. I may attempt some glue to keep the parts down that need to stay down, but it is still functional and a great design. The art style across the game is cute and fun, and I like the muted bright color scheme. That feels so weird to say/type, but the colors are vibrant hues, but muted so they stay out of the way. It’s strange and I love it.
Speaking of I love it, I love this game! It is quickly becoming one of my favorite roll-and-write games, and I can play it solo. In about 15 minutes. These are all positives, and I haven’t even really touched on the gameplay. Being able to get through a light solo game in 15 minutes while having a great time throughout is an achievement, and one I would like to applaud here. I wasn’t really sure going into this if I was going to enjoy it, but it has blown me away. Trying to evaluate the best path through the Dungeon while keeping track of how the Health and Mana is always in flux gives my brain a welcomed workout that is just a breath of fresh air for me. I love the art style and the theme, and the simple but easy to understand iconography on the dice is much appreciated.
I think that if you are looking for or lacking a similar type game in your collection you should do yourself a favor and check out Dungeon Academy. It is super quick, easy to grasp and play, requires little table space, and is simply a great time alone or with your gamer friends and family. I know I am going to be tracking lots of plays with this one. I am going to have to find a place on my shelves at eye-level because I don’t want it to be overshadowed down at foot-level.
If you already enjoy roll-and-write games and want something a little different with a great theme, or you don’t have any roll-and-writes and want to check one out for the first time, or you simply cannot get enough games featuring great art about wizards in school check this one out. I recommend it.
Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) in Movies
Jul 19, 2017
Some of the lighting is well implemented (1 more)
Colin Farrell
Bad CGI (2 more)
The movies 3 leads are extremely annoying
Johnny 'oooh' Depp
Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them - Or JK Rowling and the Never Ending Quest for More Money
Contains spoilers, click to show
First off, full disclosure, I have never been a fan of the Harry Potter franchise. I’ve read a few of the books and seen a few of the movies and it just isn’t my thing. Honestly, I’m not even a fan of fantasy in general, I think Lord Of The Rings is nonsense and Game Of Thrones is vastly overrated and the last Harry Potter movie I saw was the fourth one. However, I was willing to go into this movie with a clean slate and hopefully have it win me over and unfortunately it didn’t. Also this review will contain spoilers if you care about that sort of thing.
This film is a prequel to the other Harry Potter movies, this time set in America rather than Britain and telling the story of the events that led to the great wizarding war between Dumbledore and Grindlewald. The film did have potential, to see what would have essentially been WWII fought with magic could be really cool but unfortunately all we get here is setup and that actual event we want to see will probably take place 4 or 5 movies down the line. The film opens with Eddie Redmayne’s character, Newt Scamander going to New York from London to set free one of the beasts that he keeps inside his Tardis-like brief case. Then he ends up in a bank and meets a ‘Nomaj,’ which is this film’s lazy version of a ‘muggle,’ who we learn is a simple lonely guy that just wants to open his own bakery and that’s another character cliché ticked off the list. We now have the double act of the nerdy, sniveling protagonist and the overweight sympathetic sidekick. Also, for the rest of this review I will be referring to the baker character as fat bloke and this isn’t to be derogatory, but is purely because the script relies on the, ‘fat, jolly, sympathetic, pathetic loner’ stereotype and passes it off as a character arc. If the script isn’t treating the character with any respect, then why should I? So fat bloke it is then.
So the two of them of course have the exact same briefcase and after some cartoony looking CGI animals escape from Redmayne’s case in the bank the suitcases predictably get mixed up and then the fat bloke gets his bakery loan declined and returns home with Redmayne’s suitcase, then more bad CGI animals open the case and attack the fat bloke. Redmayne’s character then gets arrested by some wizarding inspector for letting the, ‘Nomaj,’ (urgh) get away after seeing the animals in the case and is taken to the New York Wizards base, I guess? Then it’s revealed that the wizarding inspector that arrested Redmayne is a bit of a shit inspector and she is trying to redeem herself in the eyes of her superiors, so in front of this high wizard council, she confiscates the case from Redmayne and opens it only to reveal a bunch of cakes inside. Yes, really… Who writes this shit? Rowling is doing to Harry Potter what Lucas did to Star Wars during the prequels at this point.
So Redmayne gets set free and he goes to fat bloke’s house to find him lying on the floor, then some more bad CGI later the inspector turns up and they take him back to her house to meet her sister? Friend? Does it matter? She ends up becoming the love interest for fat bloke. Then for no apparent reason Redmayne and fat bloke enter the case and he shows fat bloke all this crazy shit that apparently humans aren’t supposed to see and then Redmayne does some more sniveling and decides they have to sneak out of the girls’ apartment and recapture the animals that escaped in the bank and from fat bloke’s apartment. They get a couple of the beasts back then they go to central park to find Redmayne’s horny rhino and they dress fat bloke up in a leather rhino costume and use him as rape bait then they ice skate for a bit and capture the rhino. Again, really… I am not making this shit up for satirical reasons.
Then we see a real life prick Ezra Miller playing some sort of weird emo child who is beat by his mother and we see he is working with Colin Farrell to find a big bad dark spirit that is killing people around New York. Colin Farrell is definitely the best thing about the film at this point. After this a bunch of other stupid shit happens, like Ron Perlman and John Voight coming into the movie, showing a ray of potential then being totally wasted. The movie drags in the middle, but eventually after some more fat jokes, bad CGI and sniveling, all of the creatures are captured and Ezra Miller turns into a black death cloud or some such nonsense. Then he is boosting around New York, fucking up shit as he goes and so Redmayne and Farrell follow him down to the subway to stop him. Redmayne seems to be talking him down and then Farrell shows up and essentially tells him to join the dark side. Then there is a CGI wand battle and the council from earlier show up out of nowhere and kill the black cloud of death. Then Colin Farrell gets pissed off and in the best scene in the movie murders half of the council members before he gets arrested by Eddie Redmayne with some magic handcuffs.
Then the worst part in the movie takes place. It is revealed that Colin Farrell is actually Johnny Depp in disguise. I mean he is Grindlewald in disguise but the important part for me is the replacement of Colin Farrell with Johnny Depp. Now I’m not the world’s biggest Colin Farrell fan, he is great in, ‘In Bruges,’ but other than that he is pretty meh, but he was definitely the best thing that this movie had going for it and they fucking swapped him out! With fucking Johnny-‘ooh’-Depp. As if this movie wasn’t shit enough they swapped out the best thing about it for Johnny Depp, the biggest joke in Hollywood. I’m done, fuck this movie, fuck Johnny Depp, fuck JK Rowling, fuck Harry Potter, I’m out.
Okay, let’s briefly talk about the technical side of the film before I score this thing. The whole cast of this movie is phoning it in, so the acting is fine but nothing to write home about, Farrell is the best thing in this movie, but I feel that in the sequels it will just be an ‘ooh,’ off between Depp and Redmayne. The direction is okay as the movie plods along sufficiently, but the writing is wildly inconsistent and the plot as stated above is all over the place. The lighting and cinematography in one scene are fantastic, when Farrell and Miller are conversing in a dark alleyway but other than that they are pretty mundane too. The score is suitably Harry Potter like and the CGI is also to a similar standard of the Harry Potter films. The problem with that is that the CGI was ropey and of a fairly poor standard in the Harry Potter movies 10 years ago and it doesn’t seem like it has improved much since then. This movie isn’t for me, but even from an objective standpoint, based solely from a moviemaking perspective this movie is poor.
This film is a prequel to the other Harry Potter movies, this time set in America rather than Britain and telling the story of the events that led to the great wizarding war between Dumbledore and Grindlewald. The film did have potential, to see what would have essentially been WWII fought with magic could be really cool but unfortunately all we get here is setup and that actual event we want to see will probably take place 4 or 5 movies down the line. The film opens with Eddie Redmayne’s character, Newt Scamander going to New York from London to set free one of the beasts that he keeps inside his Tardis-like brief case. Then he ends up in a bank and meets a ‘Nomaj,’ which is this film’s lazy version of a ‘muggle,’ who we learn is a simple lonely guy that just wants to open his own bakery and that’s another character cliché ticked off the list. We now have the double act of the nerdy, sniveling protagonist and the overweight sympathetic sidekick. Also, for the rest of this review I will be referring to the baker character as fat bloke and this isn’t to be derogatory, but is purely because the script relies on the, ‘fat, jolly, sympathetic, pathetic loner’ stereotype and passes it off as a character arc. If the script isn’t treating the character with any respect, then why should I? So fat bloke it is then.
So the two of them of course have the exact same briefcase and after some cartoony looking CGI animals escape from Redmayne’s case in the bank the suitcases predictably get mixed up and then the fat bloke gets his bakery loan declined and returns home with Redmayne’s suitcase, then more bad CGI animals open the case and attack the fat bloke. Redmayne’s character then gets arrested by some wizarding inspector for letting the, ‘Nomaj,’ (urgh) get away after seeing the animals in the case and is taken to the New York Wizards base, I guess? Then it’s revealed that the wizarding inspector that arrested Redmayne is a bit of a shit inspector and she is trying to redeem herself in the eyes of her superiors, so in front of this high wizard council, she confiscates the case from Redmayne and opens it only to reveal a bunch of cakes inside. Yes, really… Who writes this shit? Rowling is doing to Harry Potter what Lucas did to Star Wars during the prequels at this point.
So Redmayne gets set free and he goes to fat bloke’s house to find him lying on the floor, then some more bad CGI later the inspector turns up and they take him back to her house to meet her sister? Friend? Does it matter? She ends up becoming the love interest for fat bloke. Then for no apparent reason Redmayne and fat bloke enter the case and he shows fat bloke all this crazy shit that apparently humans aren’t supposed to see and then Redmayne does some more sniveling and decides they have to sneak out of the girls’ apartment and recapture the animals that escaped in the bank and from fat bloke’s apartment. They get a couple of the beasts back then they go to central park to find Redmayne’s horny rhino and they dress fat bloke up in a leather rhino costume and use him as rape bait then they ice skate for a bit and capture the rhino. Again, really… I am not making this shit up for satirical reasons.
Then we see a real life prick Ezra Miller playing some sort of weird emo child who is beat by his mother and we see he is working with Colin Farrell to find a big bad dark spirit that is killing people around New York. Colin Farrell is definitely the best thing about the film at this point. After this a bunch of other stupid shit happens, like Ron Perlman and John Voight coming into the movie, showing a ray of potential then being totally wasted. The movie drags in the middle, but eventually after some more fat jokes, bad CGI and sniveling, all of the creatures are captured and Ezra Miller turns into a black death cloud or some such nonsense. Then he is boosting around New York, fucking up shit as he goes and so Redmayne and Farrell follow him down to the subway to stop him. Redmayne seems to be talking him down and then Farrell shows up and essentially tells him to join the dark side. Then there is a CGI wand battle and the council from earlier show up out of nowhere and kill the black cloud of death. Then Colin Farrell gets pissed off and in the best scene in the movie murders half of the council members before he gets arrested by Eddie Redmayne with some magic handcuffs.
Then the worst part in the movie takes place. It is revealed that Colin Farrell is actually Johnny Depp in disguise. I mean he is Grindlewald in disguise but the important part for me is the replacement of Colin Farrell with Johnny Depp. Now I’m not the world’s biggest Colin Farrell fan, he is great in, ‘In Bruges,’ but other than that he is pretty meh, but he was definitely the best thing that this movie had going for it and they fucking swapped him out! With fucking Johnny-‘ooh’-Depp. As if this movie wasn’t shit enough they swapped out the best thing about it for Johnny Depp, the biggest joke in Hollywood. I’m done, fuck this movie, fuck Johnny Depp, fuck JK Rowling, fuck Harry Potter, I’m out.
Okay, let’s briefly talk about the technical side of the film before I score this thing. The whole cast of this movie is phoning it in, so the acting is fine but nothing to write home about, Farrell is the best thing in this movie, but I feel that in the sequels it will just be an ‘ooh,’ off between Depp and Redmayne. The direction is okay as the movie plods along sufficiently, but the writing is wildly inconsistent and the plot as stated above is all over the place. The lighting and cinematography in one scene are fantastic, when Farrell and Miller are conversing in a dark alleyway but other than that they are pretty mundane too. The score is suitably Harry Potter like and the CGI is also to a similar standard of the Harry Potter films. The problem with that is that the CGI was ropey and of a fairly poor standard in the Harry Potter movies 10 years ago and it doesn’t seem like it has improved much since then. This movie isn’t for me, but even from an objective standpoint, based solely from a moviemaking perspective this movie is poor.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Shazam! (2019) in Movies
Sep 28, 2021
Zoltar Rides Again!
All work and no play makes Bob the Movie Man a dull reviewer. Due to work commitments, this is the first film I’ve been able to see at the cinema for over a month. There’s a whole slew of films I wanted to see that have already come and gone. Big sigh. So I might be about the last of the crowd to review this, but I’m glad I caught it before it shuffled off its silver screen coil.
Every review I’ve seen of this starts off with the hackneyed comment that “At last, DC have produced a fun film” – so I won’t (even though it’s true!).
The Plot
“Shazam!” harks back, strongly, to the vehicle that helped launch Tom Hanks‘ illustrious career – Penny Marshall’s “Big” from 1988. In that film the young teen Josh (David Moscow) visits a deserted fairground where “Zoltar” mystically (and without explanation) morphs Josh into his adult self (Hanks). Much fun is had with Hanks showing his best friend Billy the joys (and sometimes otherwise) of booze, girls and other adult pastimes. In similar vein, in “Shazam!” we see the parent-less Billy Batson (Asher Angel) hijacked on a Philadelphia subway train and transformed into a DC superhero as a last-gasp effort of the ancient-wizard (Djimon Hounsou) to find someone ‘good’ to pass his magic onto. “Grab onto my staff with both hands” (Ugh) and say my name – “Juman….”…. no, sorry, wrong film…. “Shazam!”. And as in “Big”, Billy has to explore his new superhero powers with the only person vaguely close to him; his new foster-brother Freddie (Jack Dylan Grazer from “It”).
Billy is not the first to have met the wizard – not by a long shot. There has been a long line of potential candidates examined and rejected on this road, one of which, back in 1974, was the unhappy youngster Thaddeus Sivana (Ethan Pugiotto, but now grown up as Mark Cross), who has a seething chip on his shoulder as big as the Liberty Bell. Gaining evil super-powers of his own, the race is on to see if Dr Sivana can track down the fledgling Billy before he can learn to master his superhero skills and so take him down.
Wizards with red capes?
With the loose exception of possibly Scarlet Witch, I don’t think it’s actually ever been explored before that “superheroes” are actually “magicians” with different coloured capes… it’s a novel take. Before the Marvel/DC wheels eventually come off – which before another twenty years are up they surely must? – will we see a “Harry Potter vs Superman” crossover? “YOUR MOTHER’S NAME WAS LILY AND MINE WAS MARTHA…. L AND M ARE NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN THE DICTIONARY!!!!” The mind boggles.
What does make “Shazam!” interesting is that the story is consciously set in a DC world where Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman and the rest all live and breathe. Freddie has a Bat-a-rang (“only a replica”) and a carefully shrink-wrapped squashed bullet that had impacted on Superman’s body. So when Billy – in superhero form – makes his appearances on the streets of Philly, this makes “Shazam” an “oh look, there’s another one” curiosity rather than an out-and-out marvel.
(Source: Warner Brothers). Lightning from the fingers! Proving very useful for Shazam’s own….
Much fun is obviously had with “Shazam” testing out his powers. Freddie’s Youtube videos gather thousands of hits baas Billy tries to fly; tries to burn; tries to use his “laser sight”; etc.
What works well.
It’s a fun flick that delivers the Marvel laughs of “Ragnarok” and “Ant Man” without ever really getting to the gravitas of either. The screenplay writer (Henry Gayden) is clearly a lover of cinema, as there are numerous references to other movies scattered throughout the film: the victory run of “Rocky” (obviously); the cracking windshield of “The Lost World”; the scary-gross-out body disintegrations of “Indiana Jones”; the portal entry doors of “Monsters, Inc”. Even making an appearance briefly, as a respectful nod presumably to the story’s plagiarism, is the toy-store floor piano of “Big”. There are probably a load of other movie Easter Eggs that I missed.
Playing Billy, the relatively unknown Zachary Levi also charms in a similarly goofball way as Hanks did all those years ago. (Actually, he’s more reminiscent of the wide-eyed delight of Brendan Fraser’s “George of the Jungle” rather than Hanks). In turns, his character is genuinely delighted then shocked at his successes and failures (“Leaping buildings with a single bound” – LOL!). Also holding up their own admirably are the young leads Asher Angel and Jack Dylan Grazer.
Mark Cross, although having flaunted with being the good guy in the “Kingsman” films, is now firmly back in baddie territory as the “supervillain”: and very good he is at it too; I thought he was the best thing in the whole film.
Finally, the movie’s got a satisfying story arc, with Billy undergoing an emotional journey that emphasises the importance of family. But it’s not done in a slushy manipulative way.
What works less well.
As many of you know, I have a few rules-of-thumb for movies, one of which is that a comedy had better by bloody good if it’s going to have a run-time of much more than 90 minutes. At 132 minutes, “Shazam!” overstayed its welcome for me by a good 20 or 30 minutes. Director David F. Sandberg could have made a much tighter and better film if he had wielded the editing knife a bit more freely. I typically enjoy getting backstory to characters, and in many ways this film delivers where many don’t. The pre-credit scenes with Thaddeus nicely paint the character for his (hideous) actions that follow. However, Billy is over-burdened with backstory, and it takes wayyyyyyy too long for the “Shazam!” to happen and the fun to begin. We also lapse into an overlong superhero finale. I didn’t actually see the twist in the plot coming, which was good, but once there then the denouement could and should have been much swifter.
The film also has its scary moments and deserves its 12A certificate. As a film rather painted as kid-friendly from the trailer and the poster, there is probably the potential to traumatise young children here, particularly in a terrifying scene in a board room (with a view). As well as the physical scares there is also a dark streak running under the story that reminded me of both the original “Jumanji” and “Ghostbusters”. Parents beware.
Monkeys?
Following on from the Marvel expectations, there are a couple of “monkeys” (see Glossary) in the title roll: one mid-titles, featuring Dr Sivana and implying an undoubted sequel, and one right at the end pointing fun at the otherwise ignored “Aquaman”.
Final thoughts.
It’s clearly been a long overdue hit for DC, and on the whole I enjoyed it. If the film had been a bit tighter, this would have had the potential to be a classic.
Every review I’ve seen of this starts off with the hackneyed comment that “At last, DC have produced a fun film” – so I won’t (even though it’s true!).
The Plot
“Shazam!” harks back, strongly, to the vehicle that helped launch Tom Hanks‘ illustrious career – Penny Marshall’s “Big” from 1988. In that film the young teen Josh (David Moscow) visits a deserted fairground where “Zoltar” mystically (and without explanation) morphs Josh into his adult self (Hanks). Much fun is had with Hanks showing his best friend Billy the joys (and sometimes otherwise) of booze, girls and other adult pastimes. In similar vein, in “Shazam!” we see the parent-less Billy Batson (Asher Angel) hijacked on a Philadelphia subway train and transformed into a DC superhero as a last-gasp effort of the ancient-wizard (Djimon Hounsou) to find someone ‘good’ to pass his magic onto. “Grab onto my staff with both hands” (Ugh) and say my name – “Juman….”…. no, sorry, wrong film…. “Shazam!”. And as in “Big”, Billy has to explore his new superhero powers with the only person vaguely close to him; his new foster-brother Freddie (Jack Dylan Grazer from “It”).
Billy is not the first to have met the wizard – not by a long shot. There has been a long line of potential candidates examined and rejected on this road, one of which, back in 1974, was the unhappy youngster Thaddeus Sivana (Ethan Pugiotto, but now grown up as Mark Cross), who has a seething chip on his shoulder as big as the Liberty Bell. Gaining evil super-powers of his own, the race is on to see if Dr Sivana can track down the fledgling Billy before he can learn to master his superhero skills and so take him down.
Wizards with red capes?
With the loose exception of possibly Scarlet Witch, I don’t think it’s actually ever been explored before that “superheroes” are actually “magicians” with different coloured capes… it’s a novel take. Before the Marvel/DC wheels eventually come off – which before another twenty years are up they surely must? – will we see a “Harry Potter vs Superman” crossover? “YOUR MOTHER’S NAME WAS LILY AND MINE WAS MARTHA…. L AND M ARE NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN THE DICTIONARY!!!!” The mind boggles.
What does make “Shazam!” interesting is that the story is consciously set in a DC world where Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman and the rest all live and breathe. Freddie has a Bat-a-rang (“only a replica”) and a carefully shrink-wrapped squashed bullet that had impacted on Superman’s body. So when Billy – in superhero form – makes his appearances on the streets of Philly, this makes “Shazam” an “oh look, there’s another one” curiosity rather than an out-and-out marvel.
(Source: Warner Brothers). Lightning from the fingers! Proving very useful for Shazam’s own….
Much fun is obviously had with “Shazam” testing out his powers. Freddie’s Youtube videos gather thousands of hits baas Billy tries to fly; tries to burn; tries to use his “laser sight”; etc.
What works well.
It’s a fun flick that delivers the Marvel laughs of “Ragnarok” and “Ant Man” without ever really getting to the gravitas of either. The screenplay writer (Henry Gayden) is clearly a lover of cinema, as there are numerous references to other movies scattered throughout the film: the victory run of “Rocky” (obviously); the cracking windshield of “The Lost World”; the scary-gross-out body disintegrations of “Indiana Jones”; the portal entry doors of “Monsters, Inc”. Even making an appearance briefly, as a respectful nod presumably to the story’s plagiarism, is the toy-store floor piano of “Big”. There are probably a load of other movie Easter Eggs that I missed.
Playing Billy, the relatively unknown Zachary Levi also charms in a similarly goofball way as Hanks did all those years ago. (Actually, he’s more reminiscent of the wide-eyed delight of Brendan Fraser’s “George of the Jungle” rather than Hanks). In turns, his character is genuinely delighted then shocked at his successes and failures (“Leaping buildings with a single bound” – LOL!). Also holding up their own admirably are the young leads Asher Angel and Jack Dylan Grazer.
Mark Cross, although having flaunted with being the good guy in the “Kingsman” films, is now firmly back in baddie territory as the “supervillain”: and very good he is at it too; I thought he was the best thing in the whole film.
Finally, the movie’s got a satisfying story arc, with Billy undergoing an emotional journey that emphasises the importance of family. But it’s not done in a slushy manipulative way.
What works less well.
As many of you know, I have a few rules-of-thumb for movies, one of which is that a comedy had better by bloody good if it’s going to have a run-time of much more than 90 minutes. At 132 minutes, “Shazam!” overstayed its welcome for me by a good 20 or 30 minutes. Director David F. Sandberg could have made a much tighter and better film if he had wielded the editing knife a bit more freely. I typically enjoy getting backstory to characters, and in many ways this film delivers where many don’t. The pre-credit scenes with Thaddeus nicely paint the character for his (hideous) actions that follow. However, Billy is over-burdened with backstory, and it takes wayyyyyyy too long for the “Shazam!” to happen and the fun to begin. We also lapse into an overlong superhero finale. I didn’t actually see the twist in the plot coming, which was good, but once there then the denouement could and should have been much swifter.
The film also has its scary moments and deserves its 12A certificate. As a film rather painted as kid-friendly from the trailer and the poster, there is probably the potential to traumatise young children here, particularly in a terrifying scene in a board room (with a view). As well as the physical scares there is also a dark streak running under the story that reminded me of both the original “Jumanji” and “Ghostbusters”. Parents beware.
Monkeys?
Following on from the Marvel expectations, there are a couple of “monkeys” (see Glossary) in the title roll: one mid-titles, featuring Dr Sivana and implying an undoubted sequel, and one right at the end pointing fun at the otherwise ignored “Aquaman”.
Final thoughts.
It’s clearly been a long overdue hit for DC, and on the whole I enjoyed it. If the film had been a bit tighter, this would have had the potential to be a classic.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Tiny Epic Tactics in Tabletop Games
Jul 8, 2021
One of the neatest things about the Tiny Epic game series is how they manage to fit so much game into such a small box. But alas, boxes are not always just mere storage devices – in Tiny Epic Tactics, they are components of the game! These nesting boxes will create a 3D terrain on which players will be moving across, over, and through on their way to victory! But how does this game fit into the Tiny Epic series overall? Keep reading to find out!
Disclaimer: There are 5 different modes of play in Tiny Epic Tactics. In this review, I will be focusing on the 2-4 Player Competitive mode. There are also expansions for this game, but this review will not cover those materials. I also do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook, but rather provide a general overview of the rules and gameplay. For a more in-depth look at the rules, pick up a copy of the game from the publisher or at your FLGS. -L
Tiny Epic Tactics is a game of strategy and combat in which players will lead their teams of 4 heroes to fight opponents and attempt to gain control of a number of areas in the realm. To setup the game, unroll the map scroll and place the boxes onto their corresponding spaces. Randomly deal each player 1 Unit card from each class (Fighters, Wizards, Rogues, and Beasts), and give them 4 Unit tokens (meeples) in their chosen color, as well as tracker tokens for Health, Ammo, and Mana. Players will select their 4-space starting location, and will place all 4 of their Units on the map. Shuffle the deck of Tactic cards, and deal 2 to each player. Players will look at the cards and select one to keep in hand, discarding the other. Place the Tactic card deck in reach of all players, and place the Control Card nearby, with the 3 Flag tokens on the Start space. The game is ready to begin!
Over a series of rounds, players will take turns performing actions until either one player has had all of their Units captured or one player has captured the final Flag token (based on player count). The remaining players will take one final turn, and then the game ends, VPs are tallied, and the player with the most VPs is the winner! A game turn is made up of four steps, the first of which being to check for Majority Control. To see if you hold a Majority Control over any of the Control Areas on the map, count the number of Units in each triggered Control Area – if your Units make up the majority of Units in that area, advance the corresponding Flag token on the Control card, and if you do not hold the majority, then nothing happens. Once a Flag has been advanced to the final space, it is given to the player who holds Majority Control.
The next step of your turn is to take up to 3 actions with your Units. Possible actions are: Movement, Melee Attack, Missile Attack, and Cast a Spell. All Units have a printed value on their cards for Movement, as well as either Melee Attack, Missile Attack, or Spell Attack value, based on the Unit’s class. All of these actions are pretty self-explanatory, with a couple of extra components – use of Ammo/Mana, rolling dice, advantages/penalties based on Elevation, etc. – that make the gameplay strategic and challenging. The third turn step is to remove Weakened tokens (more on this later), and the final step is to draw a Tactic Card. Look at the card, and either keep it in hand or discard it – you may only ever have 2 Tactic Cards in hand. Play continues in this fashion until the end of the game is triggered, either when a single player has had all 4 of their Units captured or a player has taken the final Flag token. All other players take one more turn and then VPs are tallied for final scoring.
Ok so first thing I want to talk about is the use of boxes to create a 3D map. It is SO COOL. It’s such a unique idea, and one that I honestly haven’t seen before. The added aspect of Elevation in regards to movement and range for attacks really ups the strategic gameplay for me. Want to climb to a higher peak? Ok, that costs +1 movement. Don’t have enough movement to climb up this turn? Then you’re outta luck. Your strategy must always be changing based on where Units are located on the map.
Speaking of strategy, there are several different game elements that you can base your gameplay on – there is no ‘right’ way to play! Maybe you really want to focus on getting Flag tokens, so you try to protect that area and maintain majority at all costs. Maybe you don’t care about the Flags and it’s all about combat to you – you’re on the hunt for enemy Units and Area Control means nothing to you. Or maybe your aim is to complete your Tactic Cards, which will then allow you to perform a special/bonus action upon completion. There are different ways to play this game, and that makes it engaging and entertaining as you must constantly adapt your strategy while trying to figure out how your opponents are playing too!
Another neat element of Tiny Epic Tactics is that on each turn you only have 3 actions – and a single Unit may only perform one action per turn! So you can’t just spend all 3 actions moving and attacking with the same Unit, they must be spread across all of your heroes. That adds to the strategy because you have to set your Units up in advance for certain actions, but must quickly adapt based on the movements of your opponents. You can have a Unit perform a second, different, action on the same turn, but it will then become Weakened. When Weakened, a Unit cannot perform any actions on the next turn, and will have the Weakened condition removed at the end of said turn. Or, on your next turn, you may choose to pay 2 Health to remove the Weakened token and be able to act in that same turn. It’s kind of a gamble – how far are you willing to push your Units, and are you able to sacrifice their abilities for an entire turn in order to removed the Weakened token?
Let’s touch on components for a minute. These components are great, as is to be expected of the Tiny Epic series. The art is colorful and unique, the boxes are sturdy, the cards are nice and thick, and the wooden components are quality. No real gripes from me regarding production quality of this game! The gripe I do have is about the gameplay – specifically a 2-player game. When playing a 2-player game in competitive mode, the game end is triggered after 1 Flag token has been secured. This really can negate any need for strategy or player interaction, because each player starts near a Control Area, and can simply just move there and camp out to take the Flag. In my first games at a 2-player count, I found the gameplay to be kind of bland and not engaging because of this. At higher player counts, you have to interact with opponents on the map as you try to capture Control Areas. If at a 2-player count, you were required to secure 2 Flag tokens, or maybe just mandate that the secured Flag must be the one located in the center of the map, it would encourage more interactions between the players, and thereby elevate the strategy and gameplay in my opinion. Just something to consider.
Overall, I think that Tiny Epic Tactics is a solid game in this series. It is not my favorite by any means, but the gameplay and mechanics fill a gap left by the other Tiny Epics. The strategy required can be high-level, but the simplicity of the physical gameplay makes it feel accessible and inviting to all types of gamers. If you’re looking for a great 2-player Tiny Epic, maybe keep looking, but for a 3-4 player game, Tiny Epic Tactics hits the spot. Purple Phoenix Games gives it a tactical 8 / 12.
Disclaimer: There are 5 different modes of play in Tiny Epic Tactics. In this review, I will be focusing on the 2-4 Player Competitive mode. There are also expansions for this game, but this review will not cover those materials. I also do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook, but rather provide a general overview of the rules and gameplay. For a more in-depth look at the rules, pick up a copy of the game from the publisher or at your FLGS. -L
Tiny Epic Tactics is a game of strategy and combat in which players will lead their teams of 4 heroes to fight opponents and attempt to gain control of a number of areas in the realm. To setup the game, unroll the map scroll and place the boxes onto their corresponding spaces. Randomly deal each player 1 Unit card from each class (Fighters, Wizards, Rogues, and Beasts), and give them 4 Unit tokens (meeples) in their chosen color, as well as tracker tokens for Health, Ammo, and Mana. Players will select their 4-space starting location, and will place all 4 of their Units on the map. Shuffle the deck of Tactic cards, and deal 2 to each player. Players will look at the cards and select one to keep in hand, discarding the other. Place the Tactic card deck in reach of all players, and place the Control Card nearby, with the 3 Flag tokens on the Start space. The game is ready to begin!
Over a series of rounds, players will take turns performing actions until either one player has had all of their Units captured or one player has captured the final Flag token (based on player count). The remaining players will take one final turn, and then the game ends, VPs are tallied, and the player with the most VPs is the winner! A game turn is made up of four steps, the first of which being to check for Majority Control. To see if you hold a Majority Control over any of the Control Areas on the map, count the number of Units in each triggered Control Area – if your Units make up the majority of Units in that area, advance the corresponding Flag token on the Control card, and if you do not hold the majority, then nothing happens. Once a Flag has been advanced to the final space, it is given to the player who holds Majority Control.
The next step of your turn is to take up to 3 actions with your Units. Possible actions are: Movement, Melee Attack, Missile Attack, and Cast a Spell. All Units have a printed value on their cards for Movement, as well as either Melee Attack, Missile Attack, or Spell Attack value, based on the Unit’s class. All of these actions are pretty self-explanatory, with a couple of extra components – use of Ammo/Mana, rolling dice, advantages/penalties based on Elevation, etc. – that make the gameplay strategic and challenging. The third turn step is to remove Weakened tokens (more on this later), and the final step is to draw a Tactic Card. Look at the card, and either keep it in hand or discard it – you may only ever have 2 Tactic Cards in hand. Play continues in this fashion until the end of the game is triggered, either when a single player has had all 4 of their Units captured or a player has taken the final Flag token. All other players take one more turn and then VPs are tallied for final scoring.
Ok so first thing I want to talk about is the use of boxes to create a 3D map. It is SO COOL. It’s such a unique idea, and one that I honestly haven’t seen before. The added aspect of Elevation in regards to movement and range for attacks really ups the strategic gameplay for me. Want to climb to a higher peak? Ok, that costs +1 movement. Don’t have enough movement to climb up this turn? Then you’re outta luck. Your strategy must always be changing based on where Units are located on the map.
Speaking of strategy, there are several different game elements that you can base your gameplay on – there is no ‘right’ way to play! Maybe you really want to focus on getting Flag tokens, so you try to protect that area and maintain majority at all costs. Maybe you don’t care about the Flags and it’s all about combat to you – you’re on the hunt for enemy Units and Area Control means nothing to you. Or maybe your aim is to complete your Tactic Cards, which will then allow you to perform a special/bonus action upon completion. There are different ways to play this game, and that makes it engaging and entertaining as you must constantly adapt your strategy while trying to figure out how your opponents are playing too!
Another neat element of Tiny Epic Tactics is that on each turn you only have 3 actions – and a single Unit may only perform one action per turn! So you can’t just spend all 3 actions moving and attacking with the same Unit, they must be spread across all of your heroes. That adds to the strategy because you have to set your Units up in advance for certain actions, but must quickly adapt based on the movements of your opponents. You can have a Unit perform a second, different, action on the same turn, but it will then become Weakened. When Weakened, a Unit cannot perform any actions on the next turn, and will have the Weakened condition removed at the end of said turn. Or, on your next turn, you may choose to pay 2 Health to remove the Weakened token and be able to act in that same turn. It’s kind of a gamble – how far are you willing to push your Units, and are you able to sacrifice their abilities for an entire turn in order to removed the Weakened token?
Let’s touch on components for a minute. These components are great, as is to be expected of the Tiny Epic series. The art is colorful and unique, the boxes are sturdy, the cards are nice and thick, and the wooden components are quality. No real gripes from me regarding production quality of this game! The gripe I do have is about the gameplay – specifically a 2-player game. When playing a 2-player game in competitive mode, the game end is triggered after 1 Flag token has been secured. This really can negate any need for strategy or player interaction, because each player starts near a Control Area, and can simply just move there and camp out to take the Flag. In my first games at a 2-player count, I found the gameplay to be kind of bland and not engaging because of this. At higher player counts, you have to interact with opponents on the map as you try to capture Control Areas. If at a 2-player count, you were required to secure 2 Flag tokens, or maybe just mandate that the secured Flag must be the one located in the center of the map, it would encourage more interactions between the players, and thereby elevate the strategy and gameplay in my opinion. Just something to consider.
Overall, I think that Tiny Epic Tactics is a solid game in this series. It is not my favorite by any means, but the gameplay and mechanics fill a gap left by the other Tiny Epics. The strategy required can be high-level, but the simplicity of the physical gameplay makes it feel accessible and inviting to all types of gamers. If you’re looking for a great 2-player Tiny Epic, maybe keep looking, but for a 3-4 player game, Tiny Epic Tactics hits the spot. Purple Phoenix Games gives it a tactical 8 / 12.
Mandy and G.D. Burkhead (26 KP) rated The Grey Bastards in Books
May 20, 2018
Shelf Life – The Grey Bastards Exemplifies Grimdark Fantasy at Its Damn Finest
Contains spoilers, click to show
The Grey Bastards is a fun, foul-mouthed read. If you’re turned off by bad language, steamy sex, or a good plot with plenty of action and twists, then this book isn’t for you. The Grey Bastards falls into the fantasy sub-genre known as grimdark. Where high fantasy has your Tolkien beautiful and noble elves, dwarves, humans, and wizards with epic battles between good and evil, grimdark takes all of that and covers it in shit, pus, and blood. Notice how in high fantasy nobody ever takes a piss or fucks? In grimdark, everyone does.
But don’t be fooled into thinking this book will be any less intelligent, epic, or heartfelt for it. The Grey Bastards is all of that and more. The novel follows Jackal, a half-breed orc living in the Lot Lands, the barren desert wasteland of Hispartha. He is a Grey Bastard, one of many half-orc hoofs, each protecting its own small town in the Lots. Members of a hoof are elite warriors that ride out on their Barbarians—giant warthogs—and slaughter invading bands of orcs.
Hispartha is a vibrant world, with a mix of fantastical species (orcs, half-orcs, elves, humans, halflings, and centaurs) with unique cultures and religions. Hispartha itself takes influences from Reconquista Spain, which is especially noticeable in the nomenclature, geography, and architecture.
The primarily atheistic half-orcs recently won their freedom from slavery at the hands of humans. Humans treat the half-orcs like second-class citizens, but tolerate them because of their strength, using them as a shield from the orcs. The elves are beautiful, reclusive, and probably the most cliché; there is one important elf character, but for the most part, we don’t get a good look into their culture in the first book. The centaurs worship Romanesque deities and go on crazed, Bacchanalian killing sprees during the blood moon.
Besides the half-orcs, the halflings are perhaps the most interesting. I still have a hard time visualizing them, trying to figure out if they are thin, pixie-like creatures or more stocky like dwarves. Their small stature and black skin makes me think of pygmies. They worship a god they expect will reincarnate someday, (view spoiler)
One thing that has always annoyed me about fantasy is that many authors feel that the characters of their world, being pre-industrial and thus “medieval,” must all be white, straight, Christian (or proto-Christian), cisgender males. If a woman appears at all is to act as the damsel, prize, or, if she’s lucky, a mystical enchantress to guide the heroes or provide a maguffin. It has come to the point in which this has become a tired and accepted baseline for fantasy. I don’t necessarily think that these fantasy authors are intentionally trying to be uninclusive, so much as they just seem to forget that other groups of people can exist in fantasy thanks to its fathers, Tolkien and Lewis.
But enough with my rant, the purpose of which is to highlight why I am often drawn to grimdark fantasy: at the very least I know that women, people of color, lgbt people, and other religions will be present, even if they are often victimized. This is because grimdark fantasy honestly depicts the horrors of rape, war, murder, slavery, and racism (or rather, speciesism in most cases) and has heroes and villains that are morally grey.
However, many authors describe these atrocities and then leave it at that, assuming that simply depicting them is enough to make a book mature and meaningful. They often fail to make any sort of statement on evil, and thus can seem to be, at best, blindly accepting it and, at worst, glorifying it (this often happens in the cases of magnificent bastard characters, who are absolute monsters but are so charming you almost respect or like them).
Jonathan French, however, does not fall short of the mark as many authors do, and for two main reasons: humor and humanity.
Let’s start with the humor. This book is hilarious. I mean in the I literally laughed out loud while reading it way. Sure, the jokes are often crass, but I have a dirty mind, so inappropriate humor is my favorite kind. The dialogue is especially top-notch, and the interactions between Jackal and his friends Fetching and Oats feel genuine, full of in-jokes, insults, and sexually-charged humor, all of which are exactly how I interact with my own close friends. And every major character in this book is so damn witty that I’m honestly jealous of them. If I could be quick enough to make even one of their zingers at the right time in a conversation, I would feel proud of myself for the rest of the day.
Humor is necessary to prevent any grimdark fantasy from becoming too over-the-top or depressing. And honestly, humor is needed most when the world is a dark and frightening place. But too much humor could accidentally downplay the point of grimdark: the brutally honest depiction of the atrocities that people are capable of.
And this is where it is important to have an element of humanity. By this I mean that the “good guys” must make some action or statement on those atrocities. Too often I read or watch hardened badass characters with no emotion who can watch a person get tortured and killed without flinching (maybe even do it themselves) and who never stop to question the nature of their society (even as part of their character growth), and I have difficulty finding them at all relatable or even the least bit interesting.
Now, often for this type of character, he or she is dead inside as a coping mechanism and part of their character arc is learning to allow themselves to feel their repressed emotions: heartbreak, anger, fear, etc. This can be done very well (see The Hunger Games for a great example—dystopian scifi and grimdark fantasy have very similar undertones). But most times it just ends up falling flat.
But Jackal already starts out with more personality than most grimdark protagonists. He is a humorous and light-hearted person. Sure, he lives in a desert wasteland, his race is entirely created by rape, he’s treated as a second-class citizen, and his life and the lives of those around him are in constant danger of rape and/or murder by invading orcs or blood-crazed centaurs. But despite all of that, he still has a sense of humor, people he loves, a community, ambitions, moral code, and all of the other things that these protagonists are often lacking.
Don’t get me wrong, he can be an asshole, and he’s often acts rashly before he thinks. But the scene that really stuck with me the most was [when Jackal and the wizard Crafty come across an unconscious elf sex-slave. I was expecting him to say something along the lines of “There’s nothing we can do for her, we have to save ourselves” or “This isn’t any of our business” or “It would be best to just put her out of her mercy.” These are the typical lines that a grimdark protagonist might utter while their companion—accused of being a bleeding heart—frees the slave. But this was not the case. Jackal and Crafty both immediately set out to free the girl and steal her away from her owner, despite the danger to themselves. And when he comes across an entire castle-full of these women, Jackal again sets about freeing them without a moment’s hesitation. (hide spoiler)]
And it’s no surprise that Jackal has a serious problem with rape. As I’ve mentioned before, half-orcs are entirely the product of roving bands of orcs raping human, elven, or even half-orc women. [When Jackal learns that Starling, the elf slave he rescued, is pregnant with a half-orc baby, he is not only furious with the orcs that gang-raped her, but also disturbed by the fact that elven society shuns any of their women who have been raped, and that these victims often end up taking their own lives rather than give birth to an impure half-elf. (hide spoiler)]
Furthermore, Jackal, unlike many people in Hispartha, does not buy into misogyny or sexism. His best friend Fetching is the first female half-orc to have joined a group of riders. Not only does Jackal respect Fetching, he understands the emotional turmoil that she is dealing with being the first female rider and how she overcompensates as a result to earn the respect of the other men.
While there is quite a bit of speciesism (pretty much none of the species get along with one another), the inhabitants of Hispartha come in every skin color and nobody gives a damn. Furthermore, sexuality is primarily treated as each person’s individual preference and nobody else’s business. While characters may make jokes about acting “backy” (gay), these are made in good humor between friends, and nobody gets particularly offended by them. Fetching is herself openly bisexual (though she seems to suppress her heterosexual desires more than her homosexual ones out of that same need to be “one of the boys”), and Oats and Jackal are one of my favorite bromantic pairings.
Grimdark fantasy can often be depressing to read. But Jonathan French does an excellent job of infusing hope into his narrative. The story actually has a happier ending than I was expecting. [I was especially pleased when Jackal chooses Fetching to be the new leader of the hoof (she is voted in unanimously by the other riders). I find it incredibly annoying in books and movies when revolutionaries/usurpers decide to appoint themselves leaders, as the former does not qualify you for the latter. Part of Jackal’s arc is realizing that he is not meant to lead the hoof like he’d once desired. (hide spoiler)]
For the sequel, The True Bastards, I’m hoping to see [if a cure can be found for the thrice-blood child now infected with plague, how Fetching is doing leading the hoof, and what the mysterious Starling is up to (I don’t buy for a second that she’s killed herself). And of course, I fully expect that Jackal is going to have to fulfill his empty promise to the halfling’s resurrected god, Belico.
But don’t be fooled into thinking this book will be any less intelligent, epic, or heartfelt for it. The Grey Bastards is all of that and more. The novel follows Jackal, a half-breed orc living in the Lot Lands, the barren desert wasteland of Hispartha. He is a Grey Bastard, one of many half-orc hoofs, each protecting its own small town in the Lots. Members of a hoof are elite warriors that ride out on their Barbarians—giant warthogs—and slaughter invading bands of orcs.
Hispartha is a vibrant world, with a mix of fantastical species (orcs, half-orcs, elves, humans, halflings, and centaurs) with unique cultures and religions. Hispartha itself takes influences from Reconquista Spain, which is especially noticeable in the nomenclature, geography, and architecture.
The primarily atheistic half-orcs recently won their freedom from slavery at the hands of humans. Humans treat the half-orcs like second-class citizens, but tolerate them because of their strength, using them as a shield from the orcs. The elves are beautiful, reclusive, and probably the most cliché; there is one important elf character, but for the most part, we don’t get a good look into their culture in the first book. The centaurs worship Romanesque deities and go on crazed, Bacchanalian killing sprees during the blood moon.
Besides the half-orcs, the halflings are perhaps the most interesting. I still have a hard time visualizing them, trying to figure out if they are thin, pixie-like creatures or more stocky like dwarves. Their small stature and black skin makes me think of pygmies. They worship a god they expect will reincarnate someday, (view spoiler)
One thing that has always annoyed me about fantasy is that many authors feel that the characters of their world, being pre-industrial and thus “medieval,” must all be white, straight, Christian (or proto-Christian), cisgender males. If a woman appears at all is to act as the damsel, prize, or, if she’s lucky, a mystical enchantress to guide the heroes or provide a maguffin. It has come to the point in which this has become a tired and accepted baseline for fantasy. I don’t necessarily think that these fantasy authors are intentionally trying to be uninclusive, so much as they just seem to forget that other groups of people can exist in fantasy thanks to its fathers, Tolkien and Lewis.
But enough with my rant, the purpose of which is to highlight why I am often drawn to grimdark fantasy: at the very least I know that women, people of color, lgbt people, and other religions will be present, even if they are often victimized. This is because grimdark fantasy honestly depicts the horrors of rape, war, murder, slavery, and racism (or rather, speciesism in most cases) and has heroes and villains that are morally grey.
However, many authors describe these atrocities and then leave it at that, assuming that simply depicting them is enough to make a book mature and meaningful. They often fail to make any sort of statement on evil, and thus can seem to be, at best, blindly accepting it and, at worst, glorifying it (this often happens in the cases of magnificent bastard characters, who are absolute monsters but are so charming you almost respect or like them).
Jonathan French, however, does not fall short of the mark as many authors do, and for two main reasons: humor and humanity.
Let’s start with the humor. This book is hilarious. I mean in the I literally laughed out loud while reading it way. Sure, the jokes are often crass, but I have a dirty mind, so inappropriate humor is my favorite kind. The dialogue is especially top-notch, and the interactions between Jackal and his friends Fetching and Oats feel genuine, full of in-jokes, insults, and sexually-charged humor, all of which are exactly how I interact with my own close friends. And every major character in this book is so damn witty that I’m honestly jealous of them. If I could be quick enough to make even one of their zingers at the right time in a conversation, I would feel proud of myself for the rest of the day.
Humor is necessary to prevent any grimdark fantasy from becoming too over-the-top or depressing. And honestly, humor is needed most when the world is a dark and frightening place. But too much humor could accidentally downplay the point of grimdark: the brutally honest depiction of the atrocities that people are capable of.
And this is where it is important to have an element of humanity. By this I mean that the “good guys” must make some action or statement on those atrocities. Too often I read or watch hardened badass characters with no emotion who can watch a person get tortured and killed without flinching (maybe even do it themselves) and who never stop to question the nature of their society (even as part of their character growth), and I have difficulty finding them at all relatable or even the least bit interesting.
Now, often for this type of character, he or she is dead inside as a coping mechanism and part of their character arc is learning to allow themselves to feel their repressed emotions: heartbreak, anger, fear, etc. This can be done very well (see The Hunger Games for a great example—dystopian scifi and grimdark fantasy have very similar undertones). But most times it just ends up falling flat.
But Jackal already starts out with more personality than most grimdark protagonists. He is a humorous and light-hearted person. Sure, he lives in a desert wasteland, his race is entirely created by rape, he’s treated as a second-class citizen, and his life and the lives of those around him are in constant danger of rape and/or murder by invading orcs or blood-crazed centaurs. But despite all of that, he still has a sense of humor, people he loves, a community, ambitions, moral code, and all of the other things that these protagonists are often lacking.
Don’t get me wrong, he can be an asshole, and he’s often acts rashly before he thinks. But the scene that really stuck with me the most was [when Jackal and the wizard Crafty come across an unconscious elf sex-slave. I was expecting him to say something along the lines of “There’s nothing we can do for her, we have to save ourselves” or “This isn’t any of our business” or “It would be best to just put her out of her mercy.” These are the typical lines that a grimdark protagonist might utter while their companion—accused of being a bleeding heart—frees the slave. But this was not the case. Jackal and Crafty both immediately set out to free the girl and steal her away from her owner, despite the danger to themselves. And when he comes across an entire castle-full of these women, Jackal again sets about freeing them without a moment’s hesitation. (hide spoiler)]
And it’s no surprise that Jackal has a serious problem with rape. As I’ve mentioned before, half-orcs are entirely the product of roving bands of orcs raping human, elven, or even half-orc women. [When Jackal learns that Starling, the elf slave he rescued, is pregnant with a half-orc baby, he is not only furious with the orcs that gang-raped her, but also disturbed by the fact that elven society shuns any of their women who have been raped, and that these victims often end up taking their own lives rather than give birth to an impure half-elf. (hide spoiler)]
Furthermore, Jackal, unlike many people in Hispartha, does not buy into misogyny or sexism. His best friend Fetching is the first female half-orc to have joined a group of riders. Not only does Jackal respect Fetching, he understands the emotional turmoil that she is dealing with being the first female rider and how she overcompensates as a result to earn the respect of the other men.
While there is quite a bit of speciesism (pretty much none of the species get along with one another), the inhabitants of Hispartha come in every skin color and nobody gives a damn. Furthermore, sexuality is primarily treated as each person’s individual preference and nobody else’s business. While characters may make jokes about acting “backy” (gay), these are made in good humor between friends, and nobody gets particularly offended by them. Fetching is herself openly bisexual (though she seems to suppress her heterosexual desires more than her homosexual ones out of that same need to be “one of the boys”), and Oats and Jackal are one of my favorite bromantic pairings.
Grimdark fantasy can often be depressing to read. But Jonathan French does an excellent job of infusing hope into his narrative. The story actually has a happier ending than I was expecting. [I was especially pleased when Jackal chooses Fetching to be the new leader of the hoof (she is voted in unanimously by the other riders). I find it incredibly annoying in books and movies when revolutionaries/usurpers decide to appoint themselves leaders, as the former does not qualify you for the latter. Part of Jackal’s arc is realizing that he is not meant to lead the hoof like he’d once desired. (hide spoiler)]
For the sequel, The True Bastards, I’m hoping to see [if a cure can be found for the thrice-blood child now infected with plague, how Fetching is doing leading the hoof, and what the mysterious Starling is up to (I don’t buy for a second that she’s killed herself). And of course, I fully expect that Jackal is going to have to fulfill his empty promise to the halfling’s resurrected god, Belico.