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Lonely Undead
Lonely Undead
2021 | Adventure, Zombie / Survivalist
“I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.” Now, this is an acceptable saying that one might utter flippantly to anyone around them. However, “I’m so lonely I could bite the town Mayor” is generally something that would raise some eyebrows or nervous smiles from eavesdroppers. But why, I ask. Why are we okay with eating horses but not simply biting another human? Probably because of laws. I get that. But sometimes you just need a friend. Someone… like you.

Lonely Undead is a hand management, grid movement, zombie adventure game for one to four players with a super crazy theme. In it, players are Zs looking to make some friends in the neighborhood, but most unturnt neighbors are keeping their distance. So what’s a Z to do? Go bite and infect people so they can be friends forever, of course!

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. This preview will be highlighting the co-op mode with two players. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


To setup, lay out the board somewhere on the table (thankfully the rules do not specify where, so go ahead and be a bit off-center this time). Zs (the players) all start in “Dead Center” of the board. The rulebook indicated how to construct the Living deck, and each deck of different types of cards should be shuffled and put in their place either on the board or just off it. For sake of ease, use the rulebook’s suggested placement of Living (so, NOT the Zs) tokens. Each player receives or chooses a Z to embody, receives two Aid cards, four Limbs, and the game is setup and ready to begin!
Lonely Undead is played over a series of rounds, with each round consisting of two phases: Z Phase and Town Phase. During the Z Phase, the active player will have four actions they may take from the following choices: Movement, Draw an Aid Card, Equip a Card, Sound Check, Attack, and Bite. Each Z has their own unique card with their special actions and other stats. A Z may move up to their Movement amount,including diagonally, for one action.

Aid Cards are very helpful to Zs, and for an action a Z may Draw an Aid Card to their hand. Aid Cards could be stat modifiers, or other special actions available to be used. Some Aid Cards are free to use, but if that text is not on the card, a Z will need to spend an action to Equip a Card to their Z.

When the Z is adjacent to a Living token, they must Sound Check it in order to identify the kind of Living they are stalking. To do this a Z rolls the Chance Die and applies any modifier rolled to their base stat on their card for hearing. This is compared against the Living card that is drawn to see if the Living notices the hunting Z. If the Z is successful in this Sound Check (winning all ties), then the Z may continue with their turn. If the Z fails the check, however, the Z will suffer the consequence detailed on the Living’s card. Once the Living has been identified through a Sound Check (successfully or not), the Z may next Attack the Living by rolling the Chance Die again and applying the modifier to the base attack stat. If successful, the Z flips the Living token over to reveal the injured side, notating that the Living does not need to be Sound Checked again, and is ripe for the bitening. If the Z fails an Attack, though, they will suffer any consequences detailed on the Living’s card. When a Living is injured, they are vulnerable to a Z’s Bite. The Z will roll the special Bite die in an attempt to meet their Bite range on the Z’s character card. A successful Bite means the Z collects a friend and moves that much closer to victory! A failed Bite means the Z must place a color-matched Bite token on the Living standee to signify they cannot be Bitten by that same Z again.

Once a Z has taken their turn, they will draw a Reaction card from its pile. Reactions could be either beneficial to the Z, or could be very very bad news. Some Reaction cards bring Dogs into the game, and these Dogs chase and bite the Zs that drew them. Every Dog bite causes damage to the Z and after all their Limbs are gone, they are perma-dead and out of the game. Other Reactions could cause a Car to zoom down the street, mowing over anything in their path (Zs, Dogs, Living, etc).


In the cooperative mode, players work together to gain 15 friends before 10 Living perish and are placed on the Death Toll tracker. Every two Living tokens on the Death Toll tracker forces the players to draw and enact a Death Toll card. Once the win condition is met the players win!
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game, so components will probably be a bit different in the final version. That said, I do have some opinions here. Firstly, there are a LOT of components included in this game. I am sure that they will all receive some kind of improvement in the final copy, so I will not comment on quality. I was able to play the prototype several times and had no problems with the components doing their job. I do have a comment on the art style. It’s just not my favorite. Now, this is obviously personal opinion, and it certainly does does not turn me off from the game at all. I just need to get it out to the aether that a different art style or genre may fit the game a bit better.

That all said, I THOROUGHLY enjoyed all my plays of Lonely Undead. Once the turns start cookin, you just don’t want to stop playing. Yes, there are random events or spawns that cause some chaos for our heroes, chief of which are the Dogs. Those little buggers will chase you all over town to get that juicy bite off and take one of your Limbs. I hate to say this, but there were many times I hoped to draw a Car card so that it could run over the Dogs (now, in real life I love dogs, but they are perfectly annoying in Lonely Undead). The variety of Z special powers lead to interesting combinations when playing co-op or competitively. However, I honestly prefer the co-op mode here.

In co-op, players are (obviously) working together to Bite and infect as many Living as they possibly can. This makes for some strategic placement between players, as well as combat tactics when Livings are clustered together in a building. Perhaps one Z is better at handling Officers, while another can more easily prey upon Livings from outside areas. Being able to set strategies and tactics by working together has made for some very excellent gaming experiences.

I’m going to be honest, as I always try to do. When I opened up Lonely Undead and saw the art style, I was a bit turned off. But, as I learned the game and played through it several times, I grew to really enjoy the game. I think it’s a great example of taking a tired theme and breathing a bit of new life into it. Yes, zombies are trying to eat people, but typically in zombie games the players are working AGAINST the zombies, not AS the zombies. I think this is a very clever spin. I have certainly and purposefully left out a few rules as surprises for gamers who decide to back this one, and I would recommend that you at least check out the Kickstarter campaign. This may not be for everyone, and even if the art doesn’t change, it is definitely for me. Kudos to Shelby Matussak and Dead Lemon Games for a fine first entry into the gaming world.

CHOMP!
  
Slither (2006)
Slither (2006)
2006 | Comedy, Horror, Sci-Fi
Mixing elements of The Blob, The Fly, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Night of the Creeps and countless other horror films, the new Horror/Comedy Slither has oozed its way into theaters with a mix that will likely delight hardcore horror fans.

The film is set in a small southern town and features the usual mix of horror film stereotypes. There is the Chief of Police named Bill Pardy (Nathan Fillon) who watched over the sleepy town while secretly holding a torch for the lovely Starla Grant (Elizabeth Banks). The only issue is Starla’s older husband Grant (Michael Rooker), who is not only a very prosperous man, but took Starla in when she was younger and provided for her.

Of course there are also the stock characters of the loud and obnoxious Mayor of the town (Gregg Henry), who is more trouble than he is good and spouts a string of profanity and insensitive remarks that would make a Drill Instructor blush. Add to the mix the various assortments of yokels, deputies and towns folk, and you have a setting ripe for invasion.

The invasion arrives in the form of a meteor that breaks apart in the atmosphere save for a small segment that lands harmlessly in the woods. Unfortunately, an organism has hitched a ride on the meteor and in short order a parasitic organism has infected Grant causing him to exhibit odd behavior and have a ravenous desire for large amounts of meat in all forms.

Despite the changes, Grant still has his eye firmly on his wife and as the changes become more and more radical, he becomes even more fixated upon his wife.

Eventually Grant’s odd behavior and ongoing transformation has him on the run from the authorities who organize a manhunt to bring him in and end the carnage in his path.

Naturally things do not go as planned as before long there are hordes of slug like creatures unleashed upon the town whose entire purpose is to infect the town making zombies out of all who are infected.

As if all of this was not bad enough, Bill must figure out how to protect those uninfected people as well as search for a way to end the devastation at all cost.

Slither is a film that strives to blend horror and comedy but seems better suited to be a comedic send up of the horror genre. Unlike the “Scary Movie” series, it does not come in as a parody but rather presents itself as a horror film, yet one that seems devoid of any real suspense or frights. There is plenty of gore, violence, and other mayhem in the film, but at my advanced screenings the vast majority of the film garnered laughs from the audience rather than shrieks.

Since there were several segments of the film that were obviously intended to create laughs such as the zombie family trying to coax their uninfected daughter out of hiding by proclaiming she is missing out on family fun day, and a very gory, yet humorous outcome for a yokel who decides to stand down a very infected Grant armed only with a pistol.

James Gunn who did such a good job with the “Dawn of the Dead” lets it all out as writer and Director for Slither, but seems unsure if he is trying to make a comedy or a horror film with comedic elements. To me the film works best as a comedy as the over simplified resolution combined with the strained performances and simple plot as well as the genuine lack of any suspense or scares seriously undermined this film for me as a horror film.

That being said, if you look at the film as a gross out comedy set amidst a generic horror backdrop where the plot, acting, and other pitfalls were designed elements, then the film works.

If you are looking for a bad horror movie with some funny moments, than Slither may indeed be your thing, as it is either a very bad horror film, or one of the best satirical tributes of the genre to date. I choose to pick the latter.
  
Grindhouse (2007)
Grindhouse (2007)
2007 | Action, Horror
8
8.3 (13 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Back in the 70’s cheaply made independent films often came into their own. The studio released films were drawing smaller audiences’ thanks in large part to the arrival of color television and a greater variety of entertainment that people could view in their homes.

During this time, the Blaxploitation era as it became known, saw many films become big hits thanks to the films modest budgets and subject matter that was quite different from the films of the day. Aside from Blaxploitation, there were also sexploitation films as well as action and horror films that embraced the urban and youth cultures of the time and were loaded with sex, violence, and anti-establishment themes.

The films were often show nonstop in all night theaters known as “Grind houses”, where repeated showings of prints caused them to have image blemishes as films were usually shown in a city for a week before the same print was whisked off to a new city for even more wear and tear.

Inspired by the classic exploitation films of old, Directors Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez have teamed up to treat audience to a modern day ” Grind house” experience that comes complete with nostalgic intros and credits as well as movie trailers for exploitation films that the duo has not yet created.

The first film is “Planet Terror” and stars Rose McGowan as a Go Go Dancer named Cherry who is about to have a very bad night thanks to a deal gone wrong between a shadowy soldier (Bruce Willis), and a mysterious scientist (Naveen Andrews).

Before long, Cherry is minus a leg, and living in a town overrun by zombie like creatures, which forces her and a band of survivors to fight the deadly invaders to get to the bottom of the mystery.

The film is packed with gore, action, and enough cheesy lines to make even the most jaded moviegoer wince, yet all is done with loving reverence to the genre films that inspired it.

Rodriguez even includes little glitches in the film to give a sense of realism to the film. Were it not for the starts of today and some slightly better effects work, you could easily believe that this was a film from the era.

The second film is “Death Proof” and it stars Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike. A man who drives a souped up hotrod and spreads mayhem wherever he goes. While the film does not have much of the signature dialogue that marks past Tarantino films,

it does have its moments and is one of the most demented, and intense car chase stories you will ever see.

I have gone very light on the plot recaps as to be honest, the films both have paper thin plots and characters which do not really warrant much examination.

To do so would be to miss the point of Grind House as the goal was to create two modern exploitation films that were true in character and form to the films that inspired them. Yes, this film had a budget that could have created well over a thousand such films back in the day, and has more stars than Hollywood Bld. But despite this, still would be worthy of those famed theaters of old.

There were many times that I noted the bad acting, lines, and other problems in the films, but reminded myself that flaws were for the most part intended.

I compare the experience to watching “Mystery Science Theater 3000”, in that you need to be familiar with the types of film being featured in order to get the full benefit.

I for one really enjoyed myself and I loved the false trailers that were included in the film as it was great fun not only watching them, but seeing the big name stars who helped create them getting in on the fun.

If you set your expectations accordingly, than Grind House may be the most nostalgic fun you have had at the movies in a long time.
  
Overlord (2018)
Overlord (2018)
2018 | Action, Mystery, Sci-Fi
June 6, 1944 is the day known around the world as D-Day. This historic day marks the massive invasion of France by the allied forces in an effort to regain the country from the hands of Germany and push back the mighty German war machine all the way to Berlin. There have been many movies, books, and even videogames about the invasion over the years, so even the biggest war buffs might be wondering…really, they made yet another movie about D-Day? Well, the movie Overlord is quite a bit different from anything we have even seen previously. This movie is still about Operation Overlord but does not focus on the amphibious assault and instead shows us the missions leading up to it. Still not unique enough for you? Well, in Overlord we have all the battles, weaponry and Nazis of an excellent war film but in true J.J. Abrams fashion we now also have ZOMBIES!

Overlord focuses on a small unit tasked to take out a radio tower atop a church in a small village in France. The unit led by Corporal Ford (Wyatt Russell) and comprised of fresh out of paratrooper training Privates Boyce (Jovan Adepo), Rosenfeld (Dominic Applewhite) and Tibbet (John Magaro) are the only survivors of the doomed mission, but understand that if they do not complete it, then the allied invasion will be without crucial air support. During their trek to the church they meet a young French woman from the village named Chloe (Mathilde Ollivier) who offers to accompany them and assist in taking out the radio tower.

When the ragtag team reach the village, it immediately becomes apparent that everything is not as it should be. They go to Chloe’s house to formulate their plan and are greeted by howling and grunting coming from a closed door down the hallway. Chloe states that her aunt also lives in the house and is very “sick” after being taken to the church by a German soldier. At the same time, through a series of unfortunate events, Private Boyce discovers a brutal laboratory where other villagers are also being made “sick”.

For those who have seen the preview of Overlord and expect it to be war-based horror movie may be a little disappointed. While there certainly are horrific events, and plenty of scenes fighting the undead, Overlord is much more about the atrocities that the Nazi regime inflicted on innocents in an effort to purse the 1000-year-old Reich. J.J. Abrams spins a tale about how a small group of dedicated soldiers can pull out the impossible, even when there are hordes of Nazi soldiers and undead monsters standing in their way and does this in a spectacular and very believable way. The movie seems far more realistic than it should considering we are talking about zombie soldiers, but the events unfold as if they could actually happen. The movie is less The Walking Dead and more Saving Private Ryan, focusing not so much on the undead creatures themselves, but more the experimentation and mad-scientist efforts to create the ultimate super soldier. The story was outstanding and how they depicted everything from the soldiers to the zombies was top notch.

The movie is beautifully shot, standing tall next to other war epics such as Saving Private Ryan or Dunkirk. Even though the main plot of the film isn’t the invasion itself, it goes to astonishing detail to show how massive the invasion truly was. The opening scene is both epic and terrifying and the horrors of war are explored throughout. The acting was also superb, leading you to immediately care about the team and root for their success in the mission.

If it is not already clear, I absolutely loved this movie! They did a masterful job of blending the war/horror genre in such a way, that it never overly feels like one versus the other. It’s an action packed, edge of your seat thriller, with just enough jump scares included to remind you that it is billed as a horror movie. Overlord is a very unique take on an unfortunate time in history and it is one of the best movies I’ve seen in 2018.
  
Frankie (2019)
Frankie (2019)
2019 | Drama
Sintra is a photogenic location (0 more)
Acting, Script and Direction all lacking. (0 more)
A film about death that dies on its feet.
In "Frankie", the eponymous French movie star (played by Isabelle Huppert) is dying of cancer and gathers her complex family and friends around her for one last 'family holiday' in the picturesque Portuguese town of Sintra. We follow the events of a single day of the vacation as frictions and back-stories of the players become more evident.

Positives:
- Sintra looks gorgeous: as a regular visitor to Portugal's Silver Coast, it's a place I've not yet visited. The cinematography of the region makes me want to change that.
- There are a couple of decent scenes in the movie: both involving the trustworthy Greg Kinnear: one involving him trying to sell a film idea to Frankie (who knows, but won't tell him, that she won't be around for it); and another with Kinnear and Tomei at their hotel.

Negatives:
- Where do I start.... the film is as dull as dishwater!
-- A criticism I had of the otherwise impressive "Nomadland" was that the story arc of the leading character was shallow and not very compelling. The story arc here is a bloody straight line! Virtually nothing happens in the movie and it goes nowhere. Events occur as isolated snippets in the storyline. For example, the 'loss' of an expensive bracelet is randomly lobbed into the story, but then is never referenced back in any future narrative.
-- When the ending happened (which the illustrious Mrs Movie Man referred to as a "blessing") it was a non-event. The lady behind us in the cinema exclaimed "WHAT????". And I could understand her frustration.
- The direction is distinctly lacking. Aside from the couple of decent scenes (see above), most of the shots feel like first takes, with the actors doing read-throughs of the clunky script to try to work out how to best sell the lines. "OK, time to film it for real now". But director Sachs has already shouted "Cut and Print.... now who's for some more vinos and Pastel de Nata?"! Were they aiming for some sort of naturalistic fumbling of the character's conversations? For that's how it comes across, and it's just awful.
- The script feels like a wasted opportunity. The set-up should have been a good one for an intense drama. And there are flashes (merely flashes) of potential brilliance in there: a formative step-brother/step-sister incident is based around the film "Grease", which is mirrored (either cleverly or purely through coincidence!?) in the beach-side romance of Maya (Sennia Nanua) and Portuguese holiday-maker Pedro (Manuel Sá Nogueira). And does the homosexual Michel (Pascal Greggory) have his sights on Jimmy (Brendan Gleeson)? Or Tiago? Or both? None of these potentially interesting strands ever get tied down.
- Aside from the poor script and the poor direction, some of the acting performances are unconvincing. "The Girl with all the Gifts" was a fabulous film - it made my number 2 slot of 2016! And I called out young Sennia Nanua as "one to watch for the future" as the zombie girl at the heart of the film. Here she was 17 at the time of filming. But I'm afraid I just didn't find her convincing as the moody teen. (By the way, I only single her out, since I was so impressed with her previous performance: with the exception perhaps of Kinnear, Tomei and Carloto Cotta. none of the rest of the cast consistently shine either.)

Summary Thoughts: It's a real shame that my first visit back to the cinema was such a let-down. Ira Sachs is not a director I know, but he comes with a strong reputation (for 2016's "Little Men"). But here he delivers a plain stinker. I'm afraid this movie has a word associated with it, and the word is "Avoid".

(For the full graphical review, please check out "One Mann's Movies" here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2021/05/24/frankie-a-film-about-death-that-dies-on-its-feet/. Thanks.)
  
Home Alone (1990)
Home Alone (1990)
1990 | Comedy, Family
It's not Christmas until Kevin says "I've made my family disappear." In fact, it's probably one of the few that I actively watch every year, and it's one of two that I'll happily watch at any time of the year. (The other being Die Hard... don't get on my case, you know it's a Christmas film.)

On December 7th Home Alone turned 28 in the UK. 1990... just wow. I'm feeling old enough without films I grew up with being called classics.

If you haven't considered your own Home Alone plan... well, what have you been doing with your life?! As a tip, if you already have a zombie apocalypse plan in place then it's very easily adapted, you just need a little less lethal force. And it's probably best for me to remind you not to actually try this at home, because I'm not convinced that Harry and Marv would have survived. (And if we take the results from Better Watch Out then you're probably looking at some kind of murder charge.)

In December they were showing Home Alone a few times at Cineworld so it would have been rude not to go at least once to see it. I'm really getting into the classic releases on the big screen, it's so much fun. The show I picked was basically populated by adults, just two children brought along by their parents. We were all roaring with laughter, the comedy never gets old.

The music of Home Alone is instantly recognisable and yet I always forget that it's one of John Williams' epic creations. You can't hear it without thinking of the specific scene in the film it relates to, and it's certainly influences a lot of films since. Something that again I hadn't really noticed until I watched the Christmas horror film, Secret Santa (review coming soon).

It always fills me with questions though... Do all Americans have telephones with cords that are about 20 feet long? How did Buzz manage to shove that entire pizza slice in his mouth? Why did Leslie ever marry Frank? Why is Jimmy in the shop so over enthusiastic? How does Kevin manage to create all his traps in such a short amount of time? And who on Earth leaves their house that tidy when they're leaving for holiday? Especially when you consider they left in such a hurry!

The idea is such a fun one, I can see why it's so popular all this time later. Watching it more and more though you do realise that Culkin's acting was pretty bad, but that just adds to its charm.

Watching it with a group of people who already love the film really made it a better viewing. We all laughed at the amazing prat falls from Joe Pesci on the ice and the walls of the cinema caved in slightly as we all took a sharp intake of breath as Marv stood on that nail. It's genuinely more fun to roar with laughter with other fans.

It's sad to think that Home Alone could never happen these days. (Although Google did bring us an advert that gave us a peak at what might happen. I've put the video at the end of the post.) Kevin probably has several smart devices that they could contact or track, the house would also likely be equipped with state of the art surveillance and alarm systems that would have alerted someone to movement and doors opening. On the flip side though it's quite fun to think about what sort of traps Kevin could be creating with the wonders of modern technology. I'd say lets get a petition going to see that happen but while Home Alone 4 was passable I don't think we really need any more of them.

What you should do

This should be in everyone's Christmas film rotation. If you don't watch it at least once a year... well... *shakes head*.

Movie thing you wish you could take home

Everyone needs those quick inventing skills, but I'm actually going to go with Kevin's other superpower... his amazing ability to make epic ice cream sundaes.