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With or Without You
With or Without You
Caroline Leavitt | 2020 | Fiction & Poetry, Medical & Veterinary
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Stella and Simon have been together nearly twenty years. Simon, a rock musician, has spent most of those waiting for his one big break. He thinks he's found it now, but right before he and Stella are set to leave for California for the show that could change his life, she falls into a coma. Now Simon faces a choice: get on the plane with his band, or remain behind with his love. As for Stella, she's aware of the world around her while in the coma, and when she emerges, she's different, with a newfound artistic talent. Together, Simon and Stella must reexamine their relationship and figure out the path forward.

What a beautiful and striking novel. I discovered Caroline Leavitt through the power of ARCs in 2016, falling in love with her work through Cruel Beautiful World. She gives us another book filled with compelling characters here. I so enjoyed reading a book with a different plot, especially knowing that the coma story was somewhat based on Leavitt's own life. She's a remarkable writer in so many ways.

With or Without You is incredibly well-written--almost poetic at times. It's told from both Simon and Stella's perspectives, including while Stella's in her coma, and some of those moments are quite profound and touching. Both Stella's realizations as she struggles to realize where she is, and Simon's, as he tries to grapple with the idea of his partner being ill, as well as the awareness that he may be losing his last chance at fame and fortune as his band moves on without him.

"It's a kind of blankness. She's been erased for a while and then redrawn. When she comes back, she always feels a little bit better..."

Even worse for both Simon and Stella is the fact that they fought shortly before she fell into the coma. What kind of relationship, each wonders, would they come back into should Stella awake? In this way, Leavitt gives a beautiful character study: an in-depth observation into a flawed relationship. It just happens to be a relationship where a woman enters and exits a coma. It's an amazing look into love, loyalty, and loss. The novel makes you think, drawing you into the characters. What would you do in Simon's situation, you think? Or Stella's?

"Mostly she thought of all the things that she herself wanted, and like Simon's dreams, they had an expiration date she couldn't ignore."

Overall, I quite enjoyed this novel. It's so well-done and such a different and intriguing look at two people trying to find happiness. I love Leavitt's way with words. 4 stars.
  
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Rent: The Complete Book and Lyrics of the Broadway Musical
Rent: The Complete Book and Lyrics of the Broadway Musical
Jonathan Larson | 1996 | LGBTQ+, Music & Dance
4
7.3 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
AIDs Representation (1 more)
LGBTQIA+ Representation
Hated All The Characters (0 more)
Great Representation, Horrible Characters
I have never seen the musical Rent nor have I ever seen the movie (though I heard it is not as good and different from the musical). Therefore, my rating is based solely on this book and because of that, I may not be able to understand or enjoy it as much as I would have if I had watched the movie or musical first.

First off, I loved that the book (or rather, musical) was set during the AIDS crisis and showed LGBTQIA+ representation. I think that is fantastic because (a.) we are lacking in our current day representation of LGBTQIA+ characters (though, we are slowly beginning to have this become the norm.) and (b.) the AIDS crisis was not a good time in history. The American government was not doing much to help with this crisis and seemed to sort of sweep it aside. Now, I was not alive during the beginning of this crisis and therefore have learned from sources and not with my own experiences, but not much was being done and this was mostly because this was originally considered a “gay disease” and, sadly, people in the past have not treated the LGBTQIA+ community with the respect they deserve. Instead, because this was considered a “gay disease” it was considered unimportant and therefore the AIDS epidemic was ignored. Luckily, today we have better people who are trying their best to find a cure.

Second, while I extremely enjoyed the representation and awareness this book (or musical) brought I did not enjoy most of the characters. While I do believe that characters should have flaws (after all no one is perfect and that is part of what make us human) I did not appreciate the way the characters in the book seemed to make excuses. Especially the fact that they used others difficulties to try and better themselves. Not to mention, most of the characters seemed to accentuate their poorness and use it as a way to better themselves. One scene that really got to me was when Mark was starting to film a homeless person. He did save them from the police but even they said “My life’s not for you to make a name for yourself on” and “Hey artist you gotta dollar? I thought not,” (Pg.38). It literally stated that these people who claim themselves to be “artists” use this as an excuse to exploit others.

Another huge part of what I did not appreciate about this book would be the harmful relationship that most of the characters seem to be in. Most of these relationships seemed too toxic and seemed to revolve around awful and sometimes disgusting circumstances.

Maureen (Cheater) + Joanne = 💔

Maureen and Joanne were repeatedly arguing, breaking it off, then getting back together. Now, that alone already seems like it’s not a healthy foundation for any relationship but then we find out that Maureen is a HUGE cheater. Mark himself told Joanne that she used to cheat on him when they were together and even had a bit of evidence that she was doing it again.

Roger (Past Drug Addict) + Mimi (Drug User) = 💔

Now, Roger is one of the many characters in this musical to have AIDS and because he is a past drug user we can infer that he got AIDS from drugs, or from his ex-girlfriend. Anyway, his goal before he dies from AIDS is to write one last song so that his life could mean something. To make sure that his life was worth it (to have glory), and I actually admire him for that. Lots of people would give up and I think it’s amazing that he wants to continue to try to make his life worth living. However, Mimi comes in and started to spark a flame (or light a candle) with Roger. There’s just one problem. Mimi is a drug user. Plus, it seems like she is trying to get Roger to get back on drugs. Definitely not something a healthy and loving relationship would have.

Benny (At least 30yrs.) + Mimi (Younger than 19) = 💔

Now, this has to be the most disgusting relationship in the book. While I don’t mind couples having age differences I am one-hundred percent NOT behind underage people dating men who are at least thirty, if not forty, years old. This was revealed when we got told that Mimi use to date Benny before she met Roger. Mimi was nineteen when she met Roger and if she had a prior relationship with Benny she was most likely eighteen or under.

Finally, I wasn’t very happy with the ending of the book. Mimi’s sort-of “death” scene just wasn’t my thing. It seemed to be that the situation as a whole seemed too excessive. She was dead, then she was back, then she was dead again, and she managed to come back because Angel told her too. While Mimi is a main character and main character deaths are extremely sad this story was supposed to make people more aware of AIDS and it just seemed to be too fanciful for me. This is an extremely deadly disease and just because someone told you that it was not your time to die yet does not mean that you are not going to yet pass. However, this is fiction and this does happen.

Would I Recommend? No. I really enjoyed the representation this showed within the LGBTQIA+ community and the awareness it would bring to people about the AIDS crisis, but I thought the story itself was bad. The characters, in my opinion, were not written well and I especially did not enjoy their actions or choices.
  
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