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Lee (2222 KP) rated The House (2017) in Movies
Jul 14, 2017
Worst movie I've seen in a very, very long time
Usually when I review comedies I start off by complaining about how disappointing they tend to be these days. Sometimes they manage to prove me wrong (Bad Moms), sometimes they’re not quite as bad as I was expecting (Baywatch). The last time I was seriously annoyed about how bad a comedy was it was Office Christmas Party, but even then that managed to raise a laugh or two. The House though, well that goes way beyond that, taking it to a whole other level by having absolutely no laughs in it at all!
Will Ferrell is Scott, Amy Poehler is his wife Kate. When their daughter Alex gets into the university she wanted, they’re over the moon. Especially as the town runs some kind of scholarship program, paying for one lucky students education each year. This years lucky recipient is due to be Alex but when sleazy city councilman Bob decides to cancel the program in favour of building a huge pool for the town, Scott and Kate need to come up with another way of raising the money. Recently divorced neighbour Frank has a big empty house and between them they hit upon the idea of building a casino in his home, somewhere for the locals to come and spend all their money. Things go well for a while, then things get way out of hand. Cue the opportunity for some riotous, hilarious humour…
Only there’s none of that. It’s riotous, but this is just such a lazily written movie that the humour is non-existent. Featuring a date rape ‘gag’ within the first five minutes(?!) it just gets progressively worse from there. Pointless, nonsensical playground style bickering, name calling and random violence feature heavily throughout in a scatter-gun attempt at trying to raise a laugh. All of this ends up coming across as either poorly written, badly improvised, or both. Even the editing is a total disaster – in one scene Amy Poehler has a guy standing right behind her, cut to another camera and he’s gone, cut back and he’s there again, cut back and he’s gone!
The biggest disappointment about this is the complete waste of talent. Admittedly, Will Ferrell is on a downward spiral anyway since his Anchorman days and the brilliant Step Brothers, but you’d still expect more from him than this. One of my favourite TV shows, Parks and Recreation, stars Amy Poehler as the hilarious Leslie Knope, so I’d expect way more from her too. Even her movie roles haven’t been too bad so far. I guess it just proves that if you’ve got a seriously dud script on your hands, there isn’t really much that anyone can do to fix it. This isn’t just a bad comedy, it’s a bad, bad movie.
Will Ferrell is Scott, Amy Poehler is his wife Kate. When their daughter Alex gets into the university she wanted, they’re over the moon. Especially as the town runs some kind of scholarship program, paying for one lucky students education each year. This years lucky recipient is due to be Alex but when sleazy city councilman Bob decides to cancel the program in favour of building a huge pool for the town, Scott and Kate need to come up with another way of raising the money. Recently divorced neighbour Frank has a big empty house and between them they hit upon the idea of building a casino in his home, somewhere for the locals to come and spend all their money. Things go well for a while, then things get way out of hand. Cue the opportunity for some riotous, hilarious humour…
Only there’s none of that. It’s riotous, but this is just such a lazily written movie that the humour is non-existent. Featuring a date rape ‘gag’ within the first five minutes(?!) it just gets progressively worse from there. Pointless, nonsensical playground style bickering, name calling and random violence feature heavily throughout in a scatter-gun attempt at trying to raise a laugh. All of this ends up coming across as either poorly written, badly improvised, or both. Even the editing is a total disaster – in one scene Amy Poehler has a guy standing right behind her, cut to another camera and he’s gone, cut back and he’s there again, cut back and he’s gone!
The biggest disappointment about this is the complete waste of talent. Admittedly, Will Ferrell is on a downward spiral anyway since his Anchorman days and the brilliant Step Brothers, but you’d still expect more from him than this. One of my favourite TV shows, Parks and Recreation, stars Amy Poehler as the hilarious Leslie Knope, so I’d expect way more from her too. Even her movie roles haven’t been too bad so far. I guess it just proves that if you’ve got a seriously dud script on your hands, there isn’t really much that anyone can do to fix it. This isn’t just a bad comedy, it’s a bad, bad movie.
The Wish-Bringer
Geraldine McCaughrean and Jana Diemberger
Book
The Little Monk Monacello returns, once again beautifully illustrated with Jana Diemberger's...
Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated Fantastic Four (1994) in Movies
Jul 30, 2020
You Think You've Seen Bad?
Before the 2005 stinker, New Horizons film company tried their hand at creating the origin story of a group of four that become superheroes after coming in contact with a meteor collision in space. Both bombed miserably. This version is one of the all-time worst movies I have seen in my life.
Acting: 2
Beginning: 1
Characters: 3
Cinematography/Visuals: 1
If you are looking for some of the worst special effects you have seen in your life, look no further. The scene that points this out more than anything is the one where they first discover their powers. The low-budgetness of it all is mindblowing. You’ll have to see it to believe it but it will feel like you’re watching a PBS special.
Conflict: 0
Entertainment Value: 0
Memorability: 5
It is memorable but only in a sense of how bad it is. It’s one of those movies you could watch with friends and pick a part while drinking or smoking, whatever your poison is. It’s bad, sure, but in an unforgettable type of way.
Pace: 1
Hard as a rock to decipher or get through. There is never really a story so it’s hard to manage a pace against something that doesn’t exist. For what it’s worth, it is consistent. Consistently bad.
Plot: 0
I feel like I’ve heard six-year-olds tell better stories than this. At no point does the way this story unfold makes sense. There’s not set up, not character development, no motivations. It’s just…bad.
Resolution: 4
Overall: 17
For what it’s worth, I gave Battlefield Earth the same exact score and that movie had a massive budget with A-list actors. Fantastic Four is a nightmare but I can say I’ve seen worse. If you’re a fan of movies, I say watch it! Never hurts to check a turd off your list every once in awhile.
Acting: 2
Beginning: 1
Characters: 3
Cinematography/Visuals: 1
If you are looking for some of the worst special effects you have seen in your life, look no further. The scene that points this out more than anything is the one where they first discover their powers. The low-budgetness of it all is mindblowing. You’ll have to see it to believe it but it will feel like you’re watching a PBS special.
Conflict: 0
Entertainment Value: 0
Memorability: 5
It is memorable but only in a sense of how bad it is. It’s one of those movies you could watch with friends and pick a part while drinking or smoking, whatever your poison is. It’s bad, sure, but in an unforgettable type of way.
Pace: 1
Hard as a rock to decipher or get through. There is never really a story so it’s hard to manage a pace against something that doesn’t exist. For what it’s worth, it is consistent. Consistently bad.
Plot: 0
I feel like I’ve heard six-year-olds tell better stories than this. At no point does the way this story unfold makes sense. There’s not set up, not character development, no motivations. It’s just…bad.
Resolution: 4
Overall: 17
For what it’s worth, I gave Battlefield Earth the same exact score and that movie had a massive budget with A-list actors. Fantastic Four is a nightmare but I can say I’ve seen worse. If you’re a fan of movies, I say watch it! Never hurts to check a turd off your list every once in awhile.
Leanne Crabtree (480 KP) rated Clan of the Jersey Boys (Fangsters #1) in Books
Sep 6, 2019
DNF
I hate DNFs. I always feel bad for not finishing them but sometimes I just cant get into a story. I stopped at 38%.
Right. Well, I expected this to be betterthat sounds bad I knowbut I was expecting them to be these tough vampires who kicked arse while running an illegal empire. In a way it was, but it didnt seem bad-arse enough for me. Sure there were a few scenes with retribution/warnings handed out to people but I didnt feel it.
Another thing that got me was all the mention of family and its many members. Yeah I know families are important in Italian/Sicilian cultures but more people kept getting mentioned and I found myself getting confused. What with Anton and someone else being turned by one person and his dad and uncle turned by someone else and this guy turned by the brother of that guy making them cousins I got lost. It was a little too much for me to keep up with.
The relationship between Anton and Leo happened a little too fast for me to believe. Not the sexhes an attractive guy after allbut the love yous and how strong their feelings were after the one night they spent together. Or maybe I just missed something?
Its not a bad story, it was just a little different to what I normally read; the mobster/gangster bit anyway. If you like vampires, mobsters and m/m stories then you will probably like this.
I hate DNFs. I always feel bad for not finishing them but sometimes I just cant get into a story. I stopped at 38%.
Right. Well, I expected this to be betterthat sounds bad I knowbut I was expecting them to be these tough vampires who kicked arse while running an illegal empire. In a way it was, but it didnt seem bad-arse enough for me. Sure there were a few scenes with retribution/warnings handed out to people but I didnt feel it.
Another thing that got me was all the mention of family and its many members. Yeah I know families are important in Italian/Sicilian cultures but more people kept getting mentioned and I found myself getting confused. What with Anton and someone else being turned by one person and his dad and uncle turned by someone else and this guy turned by the brother of that guy making them cousins I got lost. It was a little too much for me to keep up with.
The relationship between Anton and Leo happened a little too fast for me to believe. Not the sexhes an attractive guy after allbut the love yous and how strong their feelings were after the one night they spent together. Or maybe I just missed something?
Its not a bad story, it was just a little different to what I normally read; the mobster/gangster bit anyway. If you like vampires, mobsters and m/m stories then you will probably like this.
Merissa (12854 KP) rated Primal Instinct (Prowlers #1) in Books
Sep 17, 2019
Primal Instinct is the first book in the Prowlers series, and we dive straight in with Kenzie. She is being blackmailed to do all sorts of nefarious acts, just to keep her sister alive. She isn't proud of what she's done or doing, but will do whatever it takes to keep her sister alive. Jaxx is a born shifter, complete with self-filling glyph that shows just how much humanity he has left. Here's a hint - it isn't much. The only thing that will save him from going rogue is to find his fated mate.
This story is full of twists and turns, with bad guys who are evil and yet you have sympathy toward them. Then there are good guys who do bad things, plus bad guys who appear all bad (I'm reserving judgment on them though!). With dodgy companies, weres going missing, blackmailing brothers, a new player for Kenzie when she isn't sure if she is friend or foe, there is an awful lot going on in here. It all works though.
It is a fast-paced story, and if you're anything like me, you will find it hard to put down. With no editing or grammatical errors that I noticed, I thoroughly enjoyed this first foray in the Prowlers world. Absolutely recommended by me.
* A copy of this book was provided to me with no requirements for a review. I voluntarily read this book, and the comments here are my honest opinion. *
Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
This story is full of twists and turns, with bad guys who are evil and yet you have sympathy toward them. Then there are good guys who do bad things, plus bad guys who appear all bad (I'm reserving judgment on them though!). With dodgy companies, weres going missing, blackmailing brothers, a new player for Kenzie when she isn't sure if she is friend or foe, there is an awful lot going on in here. It all works though.
It is a fast-paced story, and if you're anything like me, you will find it hard to put down. With no editing or grammatical errors that I noticed, I thoroughly enjoyed this first foray in the Prowlers world. Absolutely recommended by me.
* A copy of this book was provided to me with no requirements for a review. I voluntarily read this book, and the comments here are my honest opinion. *
Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
Awix (3310 KP) rated Godzilla Vs King Ghidorah (1991) in Movies
Mar 7, 2018
Eighteenth Godzilla movie (fifth Ghidorah movie, if anyone cares) goes back to campy basics following the relative underperformance of Godzilla Vs Biollante. Owes a lot to 60s and 70s Godzilla movies, but also to American SF movies of the 80s - Back to the Future and Terminator have clearly been an influence. Despite all this the film has an undeniably anti-American subtext (in the future, Japan will become the world's biggest superpower, causing jealous Americans to hatch evil plot to stop this) which is actually quite amusing (possibly less so if you're actually from the USA).
Interesting story, some of the special effects are a little variable but the monster battles are undeniably good fun. Given that Godzilla was a bad guy monster in all the films from this period, and Ghidorah is nearly always the bad guy monster, the question of how to resolve the plot without the bad guy monster winning is reasonably elegant. Some surprisingly edgy moments for a Godzilla movie, too - looks, albeit obliquely, at events connected to the Second World War in a way which previous films would never have dreamt of. Definitely from close to the top of the Godzilla stack.
Interesting story, some of the special effects are a little variable but the monster battles are undeniably good fun. Given that Godzilla was a bad guy monster in all the films from this period, and Ghidorah is nearly always the bad guy monster, the question of how to resolve the plot without the bad guy monster winning is reasonably elegant. Some surprisingly edgy moments for a Godzilla movie, too - looks, albeit obliquely, at events connected to the Second World War in a way which previous films would never have dreamt of. Definitely from close to the top of the Godzilla stack.
Gail (4 KP) rated Undeniable ( Fated #4) in Books
Jun 4, 2018
Undeniable by A.S. Roberts
Four stars
This story had me in tears and ready to throw my phone. How one person can endure so much pain and suffering. Lily is this out of touch young girl who is finally getting some freedom. She wasn’t looking for love but it found her in the form of Jack. Who is a smart guy but is truly a bad boy. I enjoyed this story because it was so raw. The emotions you feel from hearing Lily's pain and all her despair. You don’t just get a happy ever after you get a story full of ups and downs. You get to see the pain and joy that we all experience in everyday life. The author did an amazing job bringing these characters alive. They were given so much depth that this could be based on a true story. I couldn’t get enough of Jack and his bad boy ways that hide his intelligence. I felt really bad for Lily and how she was raised and how little she knew of the outside world. This is a must read the story will have you ready to beat someone for all the injustice.
Four stars
This story had me in tears and ready to throw my phone. How one person can endure so much pain and suffering. Lily is this out of touch young girl who is finally getting some freedom. She wasn’t looking for love but it found her in the form of Jack. Who is a smart guy but is truly a bad boy. I enjoyed this story because it was so raw. The emotions you feel from hearing Lily's pain and all her despair. You don’t just get a happy ever after you get a story full of ups and downs. You get to see the pain and joy that we all experience in everyday life. The author did an amazing job bringing these characters alive. They were given so much depth that this could be based on a true story. I couldn’t get enough of Jack and his bad boy ways that hide his intelligence. I felt really bad for Lily and how she was raised and how little she knew of the outside world. This is a must read the story will have you ready to beat someone for all the injustice.
Sarah (7800 KP) rated A Gate at the Stairs in Books
Feb 9, 2020
Not bad but ultimately forgettable
I read this as part of a local reading group I’ve joined recently, and I was sceptical as some of the Goodreads reviews are scathing to say the least. However fortunately this isn’t as bad as others seem to think.
The problem is that this book is mostly forgettable. The writing is rather good, although does have a tendency to ramble off at rather bizarre tangents. I’m not sure if this is meant to be a nod to the disjointed and random thoughts of the narrator, but for me this didn’t quite work. When it got a little rambling I found my mind began to wander and I ended up skim reading more than I should. I also struggled with the anti-racism group, while they didn’t feature too often when they did their inane ramblings and chat I just couldn’t stand. Despite this the rest of the book isn’t too bad. Tassie is a rather shambolic protagonist and for the most part not very sympathetic or endearing. But the development of her and her friends and family is engaging enough to keep you reading, even if sadly this book is ultimately forgettable.
The problem is that this book is mostly forgettable. The writing is rather good, although does have a tendency to ramble off at rather bizarre tangents. I’m not sure if this is meant to be a nod to the disjointed and random thoughts of the narrator, but for me this didn’t quite work. When it got a little rambling I found my mind began to wander and I ended up skim reading more than I should. I also struggled with the anti-racism group, while they didn’t feature too often when they did their inane ramblings and chat I just couldn’t stand. Despite this the rest of the book isn’t too bad. Tassie is a rather shambolic protagonist and for the most part not very sympathetic or endearing. But the development of her and her friends and family is engaging enough to keep you reading, even if sadly this book is ultimately forgettable.
Sarah (7800 KP) rated The Midnight Meat Train (2008) in Movies
Feb 15, 2020
Not as bad as it sounds
I watched this many years ago and could remember nothing about it, so decided to give it a go again as I noticed it on Amazon. It's not the best film, but is vaguely promising and not as bad as it sounds.
This is a horror film that decides to forego any traditional scares and creeps and just go for full on gore. This mostly works as some of the blood and gore in this is brilliant, however it is spoilt a little by some pretty poor CGI. If they had left out this CGI and some wannabe 3D moments then I might have rated this a tiny bit higher, as the CGI really is that bad. It's a rather basic plot but effective and I've always had a soft spot for Bradley Coooper. Vinnie Jones is alright and vaguely menacing although personally I think they could've found someone slightly more threatening. I'm rather glad that he barely opened his mouth for the entire film, as his accent definitely would've spoilt things!
Overall this is a fairly decent watchable horror, and much better than some of the more recent jump scares based ones.
This is a horror film that decides to forego any traditional scares and creeps and just go for full on gore. This mostly works as some of the blood and gore in this is brilliant, however it is spoilt a little by some pretty poor CGI. If they had left out this CGI and some wannabe 3D moments then I might have rated this a tiny bit higher, as the CGI really is that bad. It's a rather basic plot but effective and I've always had a soft spot for Bradley Coooper. Vinnie Jones is alright and vaguely menacing although personally I think they could've found someone slightly more threatening. I'm rather glad that he barely opened his mouth for the entire film, as his accent definitely would've spoilt things!
Overall this is a fairly decent watchable horror, and much better than some of the more recent jump scares based ones.
