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The Oregon Trail Card Game
The Oregon Trail Card Game
2016 | American West, Card Game, Civilization
The Oregon Trail! A classic computer game from our youth that, despite being so hard to beat, kept us coming back for more! So when it was turned into a card game, I was SO EXCITED! Nothing like dying of Dysentery to bring back fond memories! Does this game live up to the hype of the OG game? Keep reading to find out!

The Oregon Trail Card Game is a cooperative game of hand management in which players are trying to make it all the way down the Oregon Trail! Players take turns playing Trail cards to advance on their journey, stopping at forts and towns along the way to collect supplies, and dealing with the Calamities of the open Trail – whether that’s fording across rivers or dealing with nasty rattlesnake bites. Do you and your party have what it takes to survive, or will the trail claim more lives in the end?

Ok so first things first – for nostalgia’s sake, this game is great. The artwork is a call-back to the original 8-bit design, the Calamities you may encounter are taken right from the computer game (there IS a “You have died of Dysentery” card), and the game is as hard to win as you remember. It definitely makes for a fun walk down memory lane.

Now, actually PLAYING the game is a different story. I think it’s a pretty bad attempt at a card game. For starters, the rulesheet (it’s more of a brochure than a book…) is extremely ambiguous. I had more questions about how to play after I read the rules than I did beforehand. The physical layout of the rules feels choppy, which makes it hard to logically follow, and the wording for some rules feels like it contradicts other rules. Overall, it just seems like the rulesheet was written in one go with no refining or editing – every single thought was thrown in and then not checked for accuracy or clarity.

Beyond the calamity that is the rulesheet, the game is hard to beat. The rules even say “More likely, the game ends when the last player dies.” Like even the creators know it’s impossible! I’ve never won a game because it is stacked against the players from the start. For starters, the game is so long. Without going too much into detail, by the end of the game 50 out of the 58 trail cards will be used – that’s almost ALL of them! And almost every card has a text action/consequence associated with it, which really reduces your likelihood of success. Some Calamity cards kill off players with no chance for remedy first, while some Trail cards are dictated by die rolls that can also either kill you or cause you to draw extra Calamity cards. I know the original game was tough, but since this card game is more based on the luck of the draw than your decisions, it feels futile to play. Luck-based games, when executed well, can be pretty fun. But unfortunately, it just doesn’t work for me in this game.

So do I like this game? Kind of? I like it for nostalgic purposes, but beyond that I really don’t. The rules make no sense and I feel like I interpret them differently every time – so who knows if I’ve actually ever played correctly. I have never won a game, the furthest I’ve ever gotten has been about halfway through to the end. Should you try The Oregon Trail Card Game? Probably not. You’re not really missing a lot besides reliving some childhood memories. Fun idea, but awful execution, in my opinion! Purple Phoenix Games (with guest score from a pal of Travis) gives The Oregon a Trail Card Game a choleric 12 / 24.
  
8-BIT CHRISTMAS (2021)
8-BIT CHRISTMAS (2021)
2021 | Comedy, Family
7
6.5 (4 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Charming, Nostalgic and HeartWarming
If I told you that I just watched a charming Holiday movie where the Narrator reminisced about a Christmas of his youth - when he was 10 or 11 - and the Narrator desperately wanted a special present brought to him by Santa - but said item is strictly forbidden in his household, so the Narrator heads off on an adventure to get this item, you would think I was talking about the classic Holiday perennial A CHRISTMAS STORY - and you would be wrong.

I’m speaking about the HBO MAX Original Film 8-BIT CHRISTMAS starring Neil Patrick Harris as the Narrator of the story that reminisces about his life as a 10-11 year old around the Holidays in the late 1980’s.

And, darn it all, if it doesn’t work well (despite my indignation that all they are doing is ripping off A CHRISTMAS STORY) for there is enough nostalgia and heart to melt the emotions of even the most miserly of Ebenezer Scrooge’s this holiday season.

Written by Kevin Jakubowski (based off his book) and Directed by Michael Dowse (the underrated comedy STUBER), 8-Bit Christmas tells the tale of 11 year old Jake Doyle who wants nothing more in this world than to receive the mother of all Christmas presents - a Nintendo 8 Bit system. Along with a “Goonies” collection of friends, Jake sets off to find this hard to find item - and convince his parents to get it for him for Christmas.

In the hands of young actor Winslow Fegley (Disney’s TIMMY FAILURE), young Jake is a pleasant enough protagonist to head off on this journey with. His ragtag group of friends are a group of generic nerds that pretty much check-off the “nerd friend group” list (and this is meant as a compliment). We spend quite a bit of time with these kids and they are a good enough group of kids to spend time with.

This film does hit a few of the same notes as A CHRISTMAS STORY, there is an obsessed, seemingly out of touch Dad, this time played by Steve Zahn (RESCUE DAWN) in a heart-warming portrayal and the coupon-cutting, cost saving Mom played by June Diane Raphael (FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL) who is putting up with it all. This film even has a younger sibling, this time a sister Lizzy, who wants her own elusive gift - a Cabbage Patch kid.

A highlight for me was the performance of Kathy Greenwood as the teacher with the constant sniffles. I know many a teacher and they almost ALWAYS have colds given to them from their charges.

This film is a fine post card of Chicago in the late 1980s and skewers (and honors) the pop-fads of the time (complete with fashion and styling) and is an entertaining enough 2 hour escape during the Holidays.

Oh, and did I mention that at one point in this film, I had to dab at my eyes with a tissue? Yes, despite my skepticism, this film managed to touch my heart even though I fought like crazy to deny that.

If you’re looking for a fun family entertainment this Holiday season, 8-BIT CHRISTMAS can fill the bill nicely.

Letter Grade: B+

7 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)