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Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated Crank 2: High Voltage (2009) in Movies

Apr 12, 2020

Crank 2: High Voltage (2009)

2009 | Action, Comedy

6.8

(8 Ratings)

Movie Rating

A Very Poor Man's Hardcore Henry

Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is back (because apparently falling out of a helicopter thousands of feet in the air can’t kill him) facing off against a gang of thugs that want to harvest his “special” heart for their leader. Artificial heart attached, Chev has to keep recharging himself or slow down and, ultimately, die. Can’t make this shit up…

Acting: 2

Beginning: 4

Characters: 3
You might find it a challenge to find a more disinteresting group of characters wrapped in one movie. I’m not exaggerating when I say I hated just about everyone in Crank 2: High Voltage. Every character is overdone and represents one big waste of space. And the man of the hour, Chev Chelios? Yep, hate him too. He’s crass (and not in the cool Logan kind of way), racist (and not in the cool Clint Eastwood kind of way), and only cares about himself. Thirty minutes in, I was wishing he would run out of options and his heart would just stop, putting me out of my misery once and for all.

I wish he was the worst, but yes it gets worse. The other characters are a combination of racist stereotypes, antagonists that would be better off with a couple of lines rather than pages of them, and fodder for gunfire. The combination was painful to say the least.

Cinematography/Visuals: 9

Conflict: 7
The action is far out there and I definitely give them a C for effort. I know farfetched is the name of the game when it comes to this movie, but so is Hardcore Henry by comparison and I loved those action scenes. Perfect example: A gunfight breaks out at a mansion. A gardener continues to hedge the bushes while bullets are flying all around him before he finally gets shot. Come on, man! Too lazy for words.

Entertainment Value: 5

Memorability: 7
For better or worse, there are definitely moments of this movie I will never forget. Like the sex scene on the horse racetrack. During a live horse race. Or the head in the jar. Or the random porn star protest. Or or or…I never said they were great memorable moments, but they are in there.

Pace: 7

Plot: 4
The story doesn’t even begin to make sense. I’m only giving it a four because the whole story revolves around Chev beating people the hell up so the story really shouldn’t matter that much. Still, if you’re looking for something coherent, please save your time and go watch something else.

Resolution: 4

Overall: 52
On my quest to watch 366 movies in a year, yes, I have seen worse movies than Crank 2: High Voltage. But not many. It’s bad. Real bad. Please save your time and avoid this movie at all costs.

Kudos

Matthew Krueger (10051 KP) rated Friday the 13th in Video Games

Feb 26, 2020

Friday the 13th

Action/Adventure

3.0

(1 Ratings)

Video Game Rating

Why?????

Friday The 13th: The Video Game- is based off of the movie franchise. Most to all people know that this game is awful and hard as hell and well that is true. This game is both. So lets talk more about the game..

The plot:

"The game manual contains the following synopsis...

It's a pretty typical summer at Crystal Lake. There's a group of happy children staying in the Camp. You and your six Camp Counselor friends are watching over the kids while enjoying the lake and the wilderness. The days are bright and sunny.

The nights are cool and clear. And Jason is on a rampage. It's up to you to stop him, but it's not going to be easy. You must first fight your way through forests filled with man-eating wolves, caves covered with blood sucking bats and hordes of mindless zombies everywhere you turn. You must also help any friend who is in danger, or else you can just kiss them goodbye. And hiding in a cabin or staying adrift in a canoe won't keep you safe – Jason will find you anywhere. The only way to survive this summer is to challenge Jason face to face, and destroy him.".

Gameplay:

Players control one of six camp counselors (each with varying levels of speed, rowing and jumping ability) in a side-scrolling perspective. The counselors start with an arcing rock attack. The goal is to find and defeat Jason Voorhees three times. Along the paths, players will find cabins, a lake, caves and wooded areas with all but the cabins having enemies such as zombies, crows, and wolves attacking the player.

timed alarm appears at certain intervals, requiring players to find Jason before he kills one or more children or another counselor. Using the map, players must navigate their way to Jason's location or switch to the counselor being attacked and defeat him. If they do not make it there in time, Jason will kill the counselors or some of the children.

Upon nearing Jason's location, Jason may appear on the path or in the lake and attack the player. When inside a cabin Jason will attack the player in a way reminiscent of the video game Punch-Out!!

The objective of the game is to survive for three days and three nights while attempting to find and kill Jason. Players may battle Jason's mother who is in a hidden locked room in the cave. She is represented as a Medusa-like floating head that swoops down to attack the player. Navigating in the woods or cave can be confusing as they are set up to purposely disorient the player. They hide several locked rooms/cabins. If all counselors or children die, the game is over.

Time and time again, i play this game and overall i would rather watch the movies than play this game. The movies are 10x better than this game. Go watch the movies instead, you will have a better time.