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Isla and the Happily Ever After (Anna and the French Kiss, #3)
Isla and the Happily Ever After (Anna and the French Kiss, #3)
Stephanie Perkins | 2014 | Contemporary, Romance, Young Adult (YA)
8
6.8 (5 Ratings)
Book Rating
In the third novel of the sries, we return to enchanting Paris. Isla, who we were introduced to in the fist novel now takes centre stage. Familiar characters like John and Rashmi's younger sister Sanjita join her. We didn't know much about the artistic Josh beyond his love of snogging and frequent altercations with his girlfriend Rashmi. I am pleased to be able to watch his character develop.

The banter, or lack thereof, between Isla and Josh just makes you smile. They're both endearingly awkward and adorable together. When they go to the comic book store and Josh finds out Kurt isn't her boyfriend, the interaction is very authentic. You can almost feel his dismay turn to confusion and then happy relief.

Despite the fact that Isla has had a crush on Josh for three years, its nice to see that it doesn't come between her and her best friend, Kurt. (Well, most of the time.) Loyalty is very impotant and she won't let anyone treat him badly. Her only other relationship ended because the boy she was dating couldn't get along with Kurt. She's not the best at confronting people and speaking up, but she never lets people take advantage of her best friend or mistreat him. That person will no longer be a part of her life.

Unlike Anna, when I read about Isla and Josh they feel like the shy, exhuberant high schoolers that they are. They experience the awkwardness of first live and the misunderstandings or insecurities that come with not being entirely confortable in a relationship yet. Falling so hard and so fast, but faced with the crippling fear that the rug is going to be pulle out from under you. Isla and Josh experience it all.

Just as I hoped, the Olympics brought the gang back to Paris - plus their new additions. The inseperable Anna and St. Clair, Meredith, lovebirds Lola and Cricket, and Josh. They claim they're back for the Olympics, but something even more important and magical happens. A proposal, in Paris, on the famed bronze marker. It was a return to the city where Anna and Etienne found their other halves and officially began their happily every after. It was a simple, yet touching scene.

I'm glad we find out how Calliope does in the Olympics, although there is very little detail given. I think her story would lend itself well to a novella. But, I'll be happy with what we were given even if that does not happen.

Despite all of the struggles and heartbreak, insecurities and mistakes - Isla and Josh still find their own happily ever after. The story and sweet and heart-warming. J'adore mon <s>petit chou</s>... mon livre - I fell in love with the series "the good parts and the ugly parts" and I hope you do as well.
  
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Director JJ Abrams was faced with a daunting task; bringing the 9 part Star Wars main story to a satisfying conclusion and appeasing certain toxic fans who have been very displeased with the last two cinematic outings for the franchise.

Thankfully Abrams has stuck the landing and “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” is an entertaining and satisfying conclusion with enough action and nostalgic moments to spare.

Picking up after the events of the last film; it is learned that threatening radio transmissions are going out across the galaxy in the voice of the late Emperor Palpatine. This deeply concerns Leia (Carrie Fisher) and her remaining Resistance as it combines with The First Order to create a larger possible threat than anyone could deal with.

Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) is also very interested in the source of the signal as he does not want anything to stand in the way of his control of The First Order and will use whatever brutal means at his disposal to increase his power.

Naturally this sets Rey (Daisy Ridley), Finn (John Boyega), and Poe (Oscar Isaac), along with Chewbacca and C3PO on a daring mission to find clues to the source of the transmissions and stop what appears to be a devastating invasion which will make anything the First Order has pale in comparison.

Naturally there are plenty of amazing special effects, twists, turns, and surprises along the way as the film races to an epic confrontation.

The film hits the ground running with plenty of action at the start before settling into a longer narrative setup than some fans might like. Thankfully there are enough points of interest along the way to hold your attention before the action kicks up.
The film combines new and favorite locales and characters to create a satisfying finale to the Skywalker saga as the biggest questions from the new trilogy are answered and the few new ones I have after this will likely be heavily debated by fans or explored in a future book or comic and they are minor questions indeed.
The characters work well with one another and it is difficult to go into specifics without spoiling the film as there are plenty of surprises as I mentioned earlier. Suffice it to say that while it will not usurp the original “Star Wars” or “The Empire Strikes Back” amongst fans; it likely will be considered the most enjoyable of the new trilogy and best since “Rogue One” in the Disney era of the franchise.

The biggest remaining question is what is next for the film series as there have been rumors of a new film in 2022 with a new setting, cast, and possibly timeline. While audiences will have to wait and see what the cinematic future for the franchise is; they can be content with a very enjoyable new film.
4 stars out of 5
  
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
2012 | Action, Drama, Mystery
Christian Bale reprises his role as Bruce Wayne/Batman in the final installment of Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy, The Dark Knight Rises,and is forced to come face to face with new villains once again. This time it is the terrorist leader Bane (Tom Hardy) and cat burglar, Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway).

In the previous movie Batman had to combat the famed Joker who caused havoc in the city of Gotham. Joker convinced Harvey Dent to seek revenge against Batman and those responsible for the death of his lover, Rachel Dawes. Dent decides to use his lucky coin to decide the fate of those he assumes are responsible, Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) and his family being just a few of the people captured within Dent’s grip of revenge. While Batman saved the life of Gordon’s young son, many still die. Batman decided to let the public think that he was the one responsible for all the deaths to keep Dent’s name in good standing with the public. Gordan on the other hand knows the truth.

The Dark Knight Rises is set eight years after the extensive damage the Joker brought upon the city and its residents. During this time, Batman isolated himself within the walls of Wayne Manor as Gotham rebuilt itself with the help of Gordon and John Blake (Joseph Gordon Leavitt).

During a celebration of Dent’s life and his successes, Gordan is tempted to tell the people of Gotham the truth behind the murders eight years ago but finds that it may not be the right time to do so. Terrorist leader Bane arrives and takes over the celebration and wounds Gordon forcing his subordinate Blake to take over. After Wayne learns that one of his projects he had been investing in over the years was actually being used for nuclear devices, Wayne decides to shut down the project. One of Wayne’s business rivals is suspected to have employed terrorist leader Bane to takeover the company and use its nuclear devices against the city.

After finding out the truth Bruce Wayne decides to return to the streets of Gotham as Batman, though the decision is met with great resistance by his trusty butler Alfred (Michael Caine). Bane has taken the lead in bringing Wayne Enterprises down and an intense confrontation leaves Batman hurt and condemned to an inescapable prison. Bane is left free to wreak uncontested havoc on Gotham, once again bringing a violent storm of perilous destruction upon its people. While Batman is stuck in Bane’s prison, we learn the sordid history of Bane.

To say much more would give a lot of the story away. Suffice it to say, The Dark Knight Rises is this year’s best comic book movie so far. The graphics, action, soundtrack and opening sequence are amazing. The storyline leaves you wanting more. Christopher Nolan has does an excellent job in all the installments of Batman but is remarkably exceptional in the third and final installment of the series.
  
The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn (2011)
The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn (2011)
2011 | Action, Animation, Family
8
6.9 (19 Ratings)
Movie Rating
From director Steven Spielberg who brought us “E.T.” and the producer of “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy Peter Jackson, comes the fabulous “The Adventures of Tintin”. The film is based upon the popular European comic books which were created by Belgian artist Georges Remi and tells the story of Tintin (Jamie Bell) , a young journalist and his canine Snowy who are always seeking to find a one of a kind story to write about.

One afternoon at an outdoor market the two come across a small replica of the three-masted Unicorn sailing ship being sold at a very good price. Tintin then starts to be pressured into selling his replica to a sketchy man Ivan Sakharine (Daniel Craig) who tries very hard to purchase the ship by offering him double than what was originally paid. Without luck, Sakharine leaves and is soon followed by another man who also attempts to purchase the ship, only this time he warns Tintin about what he has gotten himself into. Tintin starts to think that maybe there is a secret about this ship and he is determined to get to the bottom of it. After returning home following a scuffle between Snowy and a neighboring cat, the ship is accidentally broken and concealed in one of the masts is a cylinder that later is revealed to contain directions to hidden treasure.

After being bitten by the curiosity bug, Tintin decides to investigate at the house of Sakharine and ends up discovering a second replica that holds another clue. He becomes captured by Sackharine and imprisoned on a ship headed to find the third and final Unicorn replica. Tintin is imprisoned with the Captain of the ship, Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis). Who learn that they must escape and collect all three of the clues to assemble the directions that will lead them to the treasure.

Both are racing to get to the treasure before Sakharine as there is a history between he and the Captain which further complicates the issues at hand.

After what seemed to be a very long and drawn out opening, the film jumps right into the action with lots of adventure, pirates, comedic moments and realistic scenes. This proves that you really can‘t judge a book by the cover as I have never been a fan of stop motion film at all, in fact it has always been creepy to me.

Knowing that this movie was filmed with that technology, I was extremely hesitant in even giving it a chance but I am very glad I did. The film is very well written and executed and truly delivers. The 3D is also outstanding and makes you feel as if you are a part of the epic adventure. I recommend this film to all ages and if you have your doubts, please trust me and give it a chance. You will not be disappointed.
  
Shazam! (2019)
Shazam! (2019)
2019 | Action, Sci-Fi
Fun Filled Family Event
Shazam! is a 2019 superhero movie based on the DC Comics character. Produced by New Line Cinema and distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures, it is the first live-action film version of the character since 1941. The film is also directed by David F. Sandberg from a screenplay by Henry Gayden and story by Henry Hayden and Darren Lemke. Starring Zachary Levi, Asher Angel, Mark Strong, Jack Dylan Grazer, and Djimon Hounsou.


In 1974 Upstate New York, the ancient wizard Shazam magically transports Thaddeus Sivana (Ethan Pugiotto) to the Rock of Eternity, a hidden magical temple. Shazam, the last of the Council of Seven Wizards, explains that he has been searching for centuries for a champion who is "pure of heart". Released upon the ancient world, and now trapped in statues within the Rock, the Seven Deadly Sins tempt Thaddeus with promises of power. Banished back to Earth as unworthy of being a champion for succumbing to the sins, Thaddeus causes an accident while traveling with his family which leaves his father severely injured. Searching for his birth mother in present day Philadelphia, foster kid Billy Batson (Angel Asher) runs a foul of the law and is placed in a group home with 5 other foster kids run by Victor (Cooper Andrews) and Rosa Vasquez (Marta Milans). Freddy Freeman (Jack Dylan Frazer) is one of the five foster kids, an amateur superhero expert, and his new roommate. Now an adult Thaddeus (Mark Strong) discovers how to return to the Rock and acquire the power he was denied as a child.


This movie was a ton of fun. I don't think I've laughed out loud in a comic book movie this much since Ant-Man. This movie was really good. It had its silliness in certain parts but still did well in building tension and having its serious parts. Also it was well done on how the story played on your emotions for a lot of the different characters. I love the way the foster family and siblings came into play throughout the film. The special effects were really good, especially the monsters and even though you know Zachary Levi is in a muscle suit (which i initially disliked) it didn't even matter. The plot was good although some of it seemed recycled which bothered me slightly. The dialogue was good, some of it silly, which seemed appropriate for the character being younger than he looks when he is Shazam. But I didn't have much to complain about. I never saw one of the major twists coming at the end, so that really surprised me. If you're looking for a fun movie to watch, with family or friends or a superhero movie that will also make you laugh, Shazam is the one to choose. I give this movie a 8/10.
  
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
2019 | Action, Fantasy, Sci-Fi
Robert Rodriguez is not a good director. He isn’t an especially good writer or producer either. This is the guy responsible for four Spy Kids films, that start below average and downgrade exponentially into excruciatingly awful. What he is pretty good at is ideas, and seeing the potential of something visually arresting and exciting. That is what led to the success of Sin City, arguably his best effort to date, because he saw how the comic book creations of Frank Miller could become live action and he made it happen.

Alita: Battle Angel is a similar deal. This time Yukito Kishiro’s early 90s manga creation is the inspiration. With James Cameron as producer, and the considerable talents of Christoph Waltz, Jennifer Connelly and Mahershala Ali onboard, it would have been pretty hard for even Rodriguez to mess this up entirely. Although at times he does seem to try, mostly by doing too much and making certain sections too busy and too confusingly cross-genre, like he is frantically trying to colour within the lines whilst using every felt-tip in the pack. A habit that means every now and again something great happens, but you may have missed it in all the background noise.

Compare this film, that just falls short of qualifying for my Bad Movie Triple Bill list, to Spielberg’s superior yet similarly busy Ready Player One. Both involve high concept future realities that are very tech and AI driven. Both make extensive use of CGI and vivid colour palettes. Both are frenetic and demand an audience pays attention in order to fully appreciate the storyline. The difference is that one zig-zags back and forth in tone and momentum, and one is razor sharp in moving us from one idea to the next on a perfect learning curve towards a satisfying climax and conclusion. Guess which one is which? This is why Spielberg is Spielberg and Rodriguez is… a hack.

That said, Alita as a character and concept is charming, and you do therefore find yourself at least wanting to discover her story. The action scenes are also quite electric, and the visuals are often breath-taking. But the whole is less than the sum of the parts here, and we are left with something that can only really exist in the same box as dozens of admirable sci-fi B-movies aimed at teenagers, such as The Maze Runner, Mortal Engines and The City of Ember. It also continues to prove the point alongside Ghost in the Shell and Speed Racer that Anime / Manga into live action is a very tricky business.

There is definitely an audience out there for this movie, and I dare say at some point I will be tempted to give it another watch. What is definitely worth watching however, is how James Cameron uses this as a stepping stone to perfecting virtual humans on the big screen. I am sure everyone involved learned a lot in that respect, so all is far from lost.
  
The LEGO Ninjango Movie  (2017)
The LEGO Ninjango Movie (2017)
2017 | Action, Adventure, Animation
The newest Lego movie, ‘The Lego Ninjago Movie’ is being released by Warner Brothers and stars Jackie Chan as Master Wu; Dave Franco as Lloyd Garmadon; Michael Pena as Kai;Fred Armisen asCole; Abbi Jacobsen as Nya; Kumail Nanjiani as Jay; Zach Woods as Zane; Olivia Munn as Koko (Lloyds mother); and Justin Theroux as Garmadon.

The film is rated PG and is about 90 minutes.

 

The story follows the main character Lloyd and his troubled (almost nonexistent) relationship with his father, Garmadon. We begin the movie believing Lloyd has no friends, but quickly discover he DOES have a small handful of friends, and that he, as well as his friends Kai, Cole, Nya and Zane are all leading a secret life as Ninjas. The rest of the kids at school all dislike Lloyd because his father Garmadon is forever attacking the city and destroying everything.

 

As we see Garmadon repeatedly try to conquer Ninjago city, we see that the Ninjas, along with their “Mech”, and the help of Master Wu, keep beating him back.

 

Frustrated that his father won’t acknowledge his pain at being abandoned, Lloyd defies Master Wu and attacks Garmadon with ‘the ultimate weapon’.

The Ultimate Weapon ends up doing more harm than good and destroys a large portion of Ninjago city, leaving Garnadon in control of Ninjago city. Master Wu instructs Lloyd and his fellow Ninjas to find their inner strength and ‘the missing piece’ in order to defeat Garmadon.

 

The Ninjagos then start off on a journey to find what Master Wu has instructed. During one important scene, we discover that Gamadon is Master Wu’s brother!

Apparently, this movie is a spin off of a popular kids TV series, but I was unaware of that. My son does have some Lego Ninjago books and Lego sets, so I knew they existed, but not to what extent.

I was not a fan of the breaks in the middle of the movie to ‘non animated’ pieces, they seemed cheesy to me, and ‘comic-book-ish’. I found them annoying. I did like the tie in at the beginning and end however, of the live action sequences. I felt it tied the story together.

I thought the Ninjago Lego movie was pretty decent, I liked it somewhat better than the Lego Batman Movie. I did find the hot / cold attitude of the Garmadon character a bit hard to follow, but the existence of that same attitude did give that character some of the best lines of the movie.

 

The PG rating was fair and at no point did I feel uncomfortable having my 9 year old there to see it, and he loved the movie. He said his favorite part was “the action packed fight scene between the brothers in the woods.”

The 9 year old gives the movie 4 out of 5 stars, and
  
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
2021 | Action, Adventure
See Shang-Chi on the Big Screen
The new Marvel Super Hero film, SHANG-CHI and the LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS is the kind of film that deserves to be seen on the big screen and Writer/Director Destin Daniel Cretton (JUST MERCY) has crafted a film that earns that statement.

Based on the Marvel comic book character (of course), SHANG-CHI tells the tale of…well…Shang-Chi a financially struggling - but happy - Valet in San Francisco who has a family secret.

Writer/Director Cretton has crafted a whimsical, mythological, mystical and action packed film that settles in at the top end of the Marvel Cinematic Universe family of films.

At the center, newcomer Simu Liu (KIM’S CONVENIENCE) more than holds his own as the newest Super Hero in the MCU. He is grounded, centered and more sure than unsure as he discovers his abilities and his family’s secrets. He is a worthy addition to this world of Superheroes.

Joining him is the remarkable Awkwafina (CRAZY, RICH ASIANS) as his best friend, sidekick who handles the drama comedy and action with aplomb. This film makes some smart choices with this character and Awkwafina shines.

The rest of the cast/characters are equally as strong from Tony Chi-Wai Leung (as Shang-Chi’s father) to Meng’er Zhang (as Shang-Chi’s sister) and good ol’ Michelle Yeoh (as Shang-Chi’s Aunt) bring strong characters to life. They all shine.

This film also brings back a character from a previous MCU film that somewhat redeems the poorly conceived character from his earlier appearance. I won’t spoil it by saying who it is, but I liked what the MCU did with this character.

But, this being a Marvel movie, all of these performances anchor a bigger picture that is filled with action, action and more action - and something else, something mystical.

Here is where Director Cretton really shines. The action scenes are interestingly staged and choreographed well. The first fight (the bus fight that is shown in the trailer) and a fight on scaffolding both particularly work well.

This film does delve into the mystical in the last 1/3 and in Cretton’s hands, this ends up working well instead of being comical or inane. I bought what was going on and was rooting for our heroes to defeat the undefeatable, fantastical creatures.

To be honest, the “final battle” didn’t really live up to the rest of the film so that brings this film down a notch, but this movie did what it needed it to do, it opened up a whole new area of the Marvel Cinematic Universe - in both character and locations - and I am anxious to see where they go from here.

Try to see SHANG-CHI on the Big Screen, the visuals are worth it.

Letter Grade A- (the finale needed to be better)

8 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
2022 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
When audiences last saw Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) he had accidentally opened a portal into

other universe or as they are known, Multiverses in an attempt to help Spider-man.

In the new Marvel film “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness” the Sorcerer finds himself disturbed by dreams of himself and a mysterious girl battling an evil presence but something about it does not seem right and he puts it down to conflicted feelings over attending the wedding of his ex-Christine (Rachel McAdams).

Before he can fully process his feelings, Strange is soon battling a giant creature that appears to be trying to capture the very girl from his dreams. With the help of Wong (Benedict Wong), they are able to save the day and learn that the girl whose name is America Chavez (Xochitl Gomez) has an uncontrolled ability to travel across the Multiverse and that a demon is after her as he wants her powers for himself.

Facing a threat to their very existence, the group seeks the help of Wanda Maximoff (Elizabeth Olson) and attempts to convince the former Avenger to aid them. Things take a very dark turn soon after as the true nature of the threat facing them comes to light and Strange and America flees into the Multiverse in an attempt to save the universe as they know it.

The film hits the ground running with a great action sequence which is followed a bit later by another before it becomes a bit bogged down in metaphysical and multi-dimensional conversations. Thankfully the strong characters help hold your interest during the slower parts of the film and the finale plays out well giving fans the action and character development that they would want.

Much has been made about the cameos in the film and while I will confirm that they are there I will not spoil them and I will say that several of the wilder theories are not true.

Director Sam Raimi has made a triumphant return to Super Hero movies as this outing combines what fans expect from a comic book-based film and blends it with supernatural horror to create a darker and more intense Marvel film than many have been used to.

The effects in the film are top-notch but it is the strong performances that drive the film not the effects and the movie opens up so many possibilities for the future. There are two bonus scenes in the credits and a promise that Doctor Strange will return. It has been reported that Marvel Producer Kevin Feige and his team have already plotted out the next ten years of Marvel films beyond what has already been announced and I cannot wait to see where they go next as Marvel has once again shown that by giving fans inter-connected stories that are well-planned and part of a living-universe, or in this case Multiverse, that they have plenty of material to come.

4 stars out of 5
  
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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies

Apr 17, 2019 (Updated Apr 17, 2019)  
Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
The script (4 more)
The CGI
The editing
The performances
Everything else
Actual Hell
If the Hellboy 2019 movie has one thing going for it, it's that it's impressive. It is impressive in the sense that it actually made me question the futility of time and why I was wasting my short time on this earth watching this atrocious piece of trash. There were several times when I was watching the film that I actually couldn't bring myself to believe how bad what I was witnessing onscreen really was. This might be the worst film I have ever seen.

It has without a doubt taken the crown of the worst superhero movie ever made from Fan4stic and is downright insulting. I cannot believe that they chose to make this dogshit over another one with Ron Perlman and Del Toro. Almost every single aspect of this movie is garbage and there are hardly any redeeming features.

Let's talk about the main character, this movie's version of Hellboy. We all knew going in that David Harbour had some pretty big shoes to fill left by Perlman and in Harbour's defence, pretty much the only slightly positive aspect of this thing is the fact that you can tell that Harbour is doing the very best with the piss poor material he has been given to work with. Most of his lines are awful and the way that his character is written as a moaning, whiny bitch is actually insulting to the character. Also, the excessive makeup he is wearing means that he is hardly able to emote with his mouth. When he is talking, his mouth simply opens and closes like a puppet and it is painfully obvious that the dialogue has been dubbed in later and it's not even been done very well. The other slight positive in this movie is seeing Hellboy in his full demonic getup with long horns and donning the flaming crown and sword was pretty cool, unfortunately this is only a fleeting glimpse of coolness before we get right back to the crap.

The other memorable part of the Del Toro Hellboy movies was the endearing supporting cast, unfortunately they have been substituted with an insufferable lot of replacements. The actress playing Alice may give the worst performance that I have ever seen in a comic book movie, (and I saw Polar!) Every single line that she uttered was extremely cringe-worthy and poorly delivered. Daniel Dae Kim was almost as bad as Hellboy's other sidekick. Again, a lot of his lines were ADR'd in later and it is really shoddily done. Ian McShane plays Broom, the scientist that found Hellboy and adopted him and he is sleepwalking his way through this role for the sake of an easy paycheck. As is Milla Jovovich, she plays a stereotypical villainous witch and she does nothing here that we haven't seen her do before in other movies.

Over my years of watching almost every comic book movie that releases, I have seen my fair share of cheap, cartoony looking CGI, but this takes the cake. Almost every scene in the movie features some kind of CGI creature and they are all on a similar level of quality to an unfinished student project. One of the moments it really stood out was the giant fight, where we were subjected to not only one bad CGI giant, but three of them. The scene is also shot in broad daylight, which really does the bad CGI no favours. Not once, did anything in this movie look better than anything in the Del Toro movies which came out 10+ years ago.

I'm going to spoil something here, because seriously who gives a fuck at this point? The absolute worst part of CGI though in the entire movie, is undoubtedly during one of the final scenes in the movie where Ian McShane comes back to speak to Hellboy as a ghost. The CG in this scene is genuinely on par with the Rock's CG in in the Scorpion King. Yes, it really is that bad.

The soundtrack is so misused here also. The songs themselves that are featured are all half decent songs, but they do not work in the context of this film and they add absolutely nothing to the scenes that they are used in. The editing is also horrible, there were several times that I was reminded of the cheap editing in shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

The last thing that I want to talk about is the tone and humour, (or lack of,) present throughout the film. The movie opens with a flashback scene showing King Arthur chopping up the witch. The scene is being narrated by Ian McShane and it is chock-full of diabolically awful dialogue and insufferably cheesy line delivery. Whilst watching it I thought, "Oh they are really hamming it up here and going for a really corny tone for these flashback scenes." I then swiftly came to the soul-crushing conclusion that no, this was how the next 2 hours of this movie was going to go. The awful sense of humour is actually comparable to that in a poor quality kids film, with gross out burp and kiss jokes to boot. What happened to the darker, more horror orientated tone that we were teased with when the movie was in pre-production? Any semblance of that is sorely lacking here and it is a shame because I would have quite liked to have seen that movie and there is a good chance that it would have been a lot better than this dumpster fire.

Overall, please don't see this unless you hate yourself. It is two hours of your life that would be better spent doing literally anything else. At the end it has the audacity to tease a sequel which, (if there is a God,) will never happen.