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People Just Do Nothing: Big in Japan (2021)
People Just Do Nothing: Big in Japan (2021)
2021 | Comedy
7
7.0 (2 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Good jokes, most of which land (1 more)
Enough David Brent/Partridge moments to make you cringe
As a PJDN virgin, I still laughed a lot!
It’s brave then that such a relatively niche UK TV show should have a go at ‘jumping the shark’ onto the big screen. Would fans like it? And, just as importantly, would newcomers to the characters, like me, be able to enjoy the film as a standalone entity? The answer to the last question is a qualified “yes”.

Positives:
- It well-surpasses the “6 laugh test” for a comedy. There are some scenes that I found extremely funny, with others that rated highly for me on the David Brent / Alan Partridge scale of cringiness.
- I’ve seen comment that the story is "silly" and “unbelievable”. But having experienced the crazy clash between English and Japanese culture first hand, it strikes me as very true to form! The way in which the Japanese music execs try to stylise the ground as a ‘boy band’ (“Bang Boys”!), which Grindah greedily goes along with, is a nice satire on the music industry asserting its brand over musician’s art.
- A subplot of a love story beween the inept Steves and the cute Japanese translator Ishika (Ayumi Itô) is nicely done and strangely touching.
- The good news is that you don’t need any previous experience of the characters to get fun out of the movie: you can jump right in. That being said though, I’m sure fans of the series will get more out of this than I did.

Negatives:
- While the ending was uplifting, I was itching to know what fallout (or success?) there was from the event we witnessed. Perhaps if its a box office success (unlikely I think!) then there will be a sequel.

Summary Thoughts on “People Just Do Nothing: Big in Japan”: IMDB is littered with disastrous reviews of British TV shows that have tried and failed to make the leap from the small screen to the big screen. “On the Buses”; “Are You Being Served?”; “Steptoe and Son”; “Please Sir”; “Love Thy Neighbour” – the list is endless. They are mostly all horribly unfunny. Even the great “Morecambe and Wise”, although showing occasional moments of brilliance, struggled to fully land any of their three big-screen outings.

The ‘go-to’ of many of these efforts was to “go abroad”: take the well-loved characters and put them into a ‘bigger’ and stranger pool. So “People Just Do Nothing: Big in Japan” was following a well-trodden path here. It’s a tribute to the team and their TV-series director Jack Clough, in his feature debut, that they pretty much pull it off.

I’d like to agree with Kevin Maher of “The Times” that the movie is full of “Japanese stereotypes… drunken businessmen, passive giggling women etc”. But having travelled extensively on business in Japan, it seems pretty close to the mark with its observations to me! More importantly, the film never seems to be particularly derogatory or disrespectful of the culture. For example, they take their shoes off too much!

Key to its box office success will be whether or not it can attract an audience outside of its niche TV fan-bases. As a member of that sub-group, I really wasn’t expecting to enjoy this one, but I actually did. It was good fun, and if you want a good laugh at the cinema – a pretty rare thing – then I’d recommend this one, even if – like me – you haven’t seen the original TV show.

(For the full graphical review, please check out onemannsmovies on the web, Facebook and Tiktok. Thanks!)
  
The Mercy (2018)
The Mercy (2018)
2018 | Biography, Drama
“With shroud, and mast, and pennon fair”.
It’s 1968. Donald Crowhurst (Colin Firth, “Kingsman: The Golden Circle“; “Magic in the Moonlight“), an amateur sailor and entrepreneur based in Teignmouth, Devon, is inspired by listening to single-handed round-the-world yachtsman Sir Francis Chichester and does a a crazy thing. He puts his business, his family’s house and his own life on the line by entering the Sunday Times single-handed round-the-world yacht race. It’s not even as if he has a boat built yet!

Lending him the money, under onerous terms, are local businessman Mr Best (Ken Stott, “The Hobbit“) and local newspaper editor Rodney Hallworth (David Thewlis, “Wonder Woman“, “The Theory of Everything“). With the race deadline upon him, Crowhurst is pressed into sailing away from his beloved wife Clare (Rachel Weisz, “Denial“, “The Lobster“) and young family in a trimaran that is well below par.
But what happens next is so ludicrous that it makes a mockery of whoever wrote this ridiculous work of fiction. Ah… but wait a minute… it’s a true story!

It is in fact such an astonishing story that this is a film that is easy to spoil in a review, a fact that seems to have passed many newspaper reviewers by (Arrrggghhh!!). So I will leave much comment to a “spoiler section” that follows the trailer (which is also best avoided). This is honestly a film worth seeing cold. What can I say that is spoiler-free then?

Firth and Weisz make a well-matched couple, and the rest of the cast is peppered with well-known faces from British film and (particularly) TV: Andrew Buchan and Jonathan Bailey (from “Broadchurch”); Mark Gatiss (“Sherlock”, “Out Kind of Traitor“); Adrian Schiller (“Victoria”; “Beauty and the Beast“).

The first part of the film is well executed and excellent value for older viewers. 60’s Devon is warm, bucolic and nostalgic. In fact, the film beautifully creates the late 60’s of my childhood, from the boxy hardwood furniture of the Crowhurst’s house to the Meccano set opened at Christmas time.

Once afloat though, the film is less successful at getting its sea-legs. The story is riveting, but quite a number of the scenes raise more questions than they answer. As stress takes hold it is perhaps not surprising that there are a few fantastical flights of movie fancy. But some specific elements in Scott Burns’ script don’t quite gel: a brass clock overboard is a case in point. What? Why?
And it seems to be light on the fallout from the race: there is a weighty scene in the trailer between Best and Hallworth that (unless I dozed off!) I don’t think appeared in the final cut, and I think was needed.
All in all, I was left feeling mildly dissatisfied: a potentially good film by “Theory of Everything” director James Marsh that rather goes off the rails in the final stretch.

This was a time where morality and honour were often rigidly adhered to – British “stiff upper lip” and all that – and seemed to carry a lot more weight than they do today. So some of the decisions in the film might mystify younger viewers. But for the packed older audience in my showing (Cineworld: this needs to be put on in a bigger screen!) then it was a gripping, stressful, but far from flawless watch.
I’d also like to take this opportunity to pay my respects to the film’s composer Jóhann Jóhannsson, who shockingly died last week at the ridiculously young age of 48. His strange and atmospheric music for films including “The Theory of Everything“, “Sicario” and (particularly) “Arrival” set him on the path to be a film composing great of the future. Like James Horner, another awful and untimely loss to the film music industry.
  
FIRESTARTER (2022)
FIRESTARTER (2022)
2022 | Action, Horror
3
4.4 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Commits the Biggest Film Crime - It's Boring
Sometimes, I watch a movie, so you don’t have to.

I watched the remake of the Stephen King novel FIRESTARTER, so you don’t have to.

The current “leader in the clubhouse” for the worst film of 2022, FIRESTARTER is based on the very good Stephen King novel that was published in 1980 and was made into a pretty cheesy, pretty ‘80s flick in 1984 that made Drew Barrymore (fresh off her work in ET) a bonafide movie star.

No such luck in this one.

Produced by Blum House, Directed by Keith Thomas (THE VIGIL) and adapted from King’s novel by Scott Teems (HALLOWEEN KILLS), this version of FIRESTARTER was dead on arrival, with a weak script, mediocre directing and less than stellar visual effects, consequently making a film that is the worst sort of film…boring. It doesn’t even have the ambition to be “so bad, it’s good”, it is just plodding and mediocre throughout.

But, at 1 hour 34 minutes, it is mercifully short, so it does have that going for it.

What it also has going for it is a “game” Zach Efron as “Firestarter’s Father” and he elevates the scenes he is in to something that comes close to watchable. And when Sydney Lemmon is along as “Firestarter’s Mom” the screen comes the closest to interesting. But the rest…”meh”.

Ryan Kiera Armstrong plays “Firestarter”, Charlie McGee - the young lady who can start fires with her telepathic powers - and she is “just fine”, but she does not have the star power or “it” factor that Barrymore brought to the proceedings previously. She is just not a compelling enough presence on screen to save this turkey. I don’t blame her, I blame the weak Direction by Thomas and the limp script by Teems.

The only other character/performance that sparks some interest in this film is Michael Grayeyes (TOGO) who plays a Native American tracker with his own telekinetic powers who is put on the trail of Charlie by the mysterious Institute (a shadowy Gov’t agency that chases after various “special” people - mostly kids - in quite a few Stephen King novels). Inexplicably, this role was played by an aging, pony-tailed George C. Scott (obviously chasing a paycheck) in the 1984 film. Grayeyes succeeds more.

But these glimmers of competence only aggravates more when the film bogs back down in cardboard villains (what has happened to your career, Gloria Ruben) and exposition spouting scientists (what a waste of Kurtwood Smith) and less than spectacular action sequences that, mostly, consist of Armstrong screaming while a wind machine blows her hair back while sub-par CGI flames engulf the screen.

And…adding insult to injury…the "guy in the asbestos suit” (a mainstay of any film involving fire) does not even get a day of stunt pay! It’s like going to see a Tom Cruise Mission Impossible film and Cruise doesn’t do some sort of crazy stunt!

After the success of IT, PART ONE in 2017, there was a renaissance, of sorts, of adaptations of Stephen King works and even though PET SEMATARY (2019) was pretty decent and IT, CHAPTER TWO and DOCTOR SLEEP (2019) were okay, THE DARK TOWER, the TV remake of THE STAND, LISEY’S STORY and now FIRESTARTER were all terrible, so maybe we’ve seen the end of this phase of King adaptations (I doubt it, but one can hope).

Save yourself and hour and a half of your life and skip this Firestarter. Instead, revisit the 1984 version - it plays like an Oscar-winner compared to this turkey. Or, better yet, read the original Stephen King work - it is the best of all of these.

Letter Grade: C- (and I’m being generous)

3 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis).
  
Final Challenge
Final Challenge
2021 | Card Game, Humor, Party Game
Have you got some stiffs in your gaming group? Do you introduce lots of new gamers to the hobby? Are you looking to get up off the table every once in a while and just play something wacky? Well, I may have the answer for you here. I am a natural performer, so many things do not affect me, and I do not have performance anxiety AT ALL. But what if you have a table with a bunch of people who do not really know each other? What do you pull out then? I might suggest you keep reading.

Final Challenge is a crazy party game for up to six players. In it, players are attempting to earn cards from different categories in order to place themselves in the Final Challenge round where they will attempt to compete for all the marbles.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign coming October 2021, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


To setup, shuffle all the cards in the game (in this prototype version I was given a smattering of each type of card, including several from planned expansions) and make a large draw pile. Place the timer nearby and give each player a player board and reminder card. Determine the first player and the game may begin!
On a turn, the active player will check their board to see if they have any active challenges. These are challenge cards that have specific timing applied in order to complete. Completed challenges are either placed face-down on their board or discarded. Next, the active player draws the top card from the deck and has three choices: Perform the Challenge, Ask for Volunteers, or Attack Another Player.

The active player will most often prefer to Perform the Challenge by reading the card’s challenge aloud and attempting to satisfy the requirement. Other players at the table are the judges in determining if the attempt is successful or not. If so, the challenge is placed face-down on the player’s board. If unsuccessful, the card is discarded. As this is the only way to progress in the game, it is usually the best bet on a turn.

However, the player may not wish the complete the challenge and can Ask for Volunteers to help perform the challenge. Whomever accepts and completes will win the card and be able to place it in front of themselves for a quick extra boost of completed challenges.

Should the active player not wish to complete the challenge drawn, and to Attack Another Player, they may assign the challenge to another player who already has completed a challenge of the same type previously. This offers some benefit to the assigned player, as they may collect another card of a similar type, and forces them the complete the challenge card instead of the active player. Should the attacked player lose, however, they lose not only the attacking card, but the face-down card they have previously completed!

Once a player has locked (earned completed face-down cards) one challenge card of each type, they have unlocked the Final Challenge. On the back of each challenge card is one word. When placed on the player board the words will spell out a ridiculous prompt that the active player will need to perform in order to win the Final Challenge. In the example photo below, the prompt is: Mischievous Cavegirl Uses Force On Someone’s Ear While Moaning Loudly. Therefore, in order to win this Final Challenge, the active player will need to exemplify this prompt to the satisfaction of the other players/judges. Think about how you would complete this one.


After a successful Final Challenge, the winner collects the red Personality card to add to their winnings. On the backs of red cards are abilities that are now in effect for the rest of the game. The winner is the player who collects two red cards. The rules indicate any stopping point that is agreed upon by the players is acceptable, but they suggest just to two.
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of this game, and I do not know which, if any, components will be different in the final version. That said, what I received was a box of cards, player boards, reminder cards, and a sand timer. Also included were card dividers, which confused me since the cards are to be shuffled for play. I like the direction the game is going, especially with regards to aesthetics. In a crazy over-saturated niche of party games, Final Challenge is trying to be a little different. The art is quirky, and that is definitely not a bad thing here. All the text is easily legible and the sand timer… works. It is fine as is, but I am sure that a successful Kickstarter will improve all the components in the game.

I am definitely not a party game kind of guy. My wife always makes fun of me when I groan at them, like I am some board game snob. And maybe I guess I really am. I know how I would like to spend my gaming time, and usually it is not with a party game. That said, Final Challenge does offer something a little different by having each card present a challenge that could be storytelling, actions, impersonations, and all kinds of cuckoo… but I like it. Now, I think every game has its place, and for me and my typical game groups, this would be a great one to pull out when I introduce fresh gamers into the hobby, or as something to completely break the ice/tension. As long as all players understand that they may need to get out of their comfort zones to have a good time with it, Final Challenge can be that entry into the hobby for some.

My highest-rated party game to this point is Happy Salmon, and I use it for silliness between heavier games, or to help re-energize my players. It works wonders, and I love it for that. I don’t think Final Challenge will replace Happy Salmon for me for its purpose, but I definitely can see instances when I would need something with just a little more meat on its bones, but still in the ridiculous category. So if you are in need of a weird, quick, zany, little card game (with origins in Serbia – how many Serbian games do you have?) then check out Final Challenge, coming to Kickstarter in October.

For those more raunchy gamers, I have some insight for you as well. I said earlier that Kerber was kind enough to pepper this copy with a few cards from expansions as well, and one of them is the “Rated R Expansion.” I won’t give you exact examples of cards from that set, but just as a levels-check, two cards I pulled from the normal deck has this text on the front, “You have ended up in a talent show. Tell a joke. If no one laughs, you lose.” On the back of this it says, “Their Nipples.” Another example from the core set is, “Someone in this group just got immensely attractive. Point that person out by casually looking at them in a seductive manner until your next draw.” On the back? It says, “While Praying.” Soooooooo, the fronts and backs don’t necessarily have anything to do with each other… but they could. Enjoy the game, everyone!
  
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Jamie (131 KP) rated The Darkest Lies in Books

Jul 26, 2017  
The Darkest Lies
The Darkest Lies
Barbara Copperthwaite | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry
4
4.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Believable plot regarding child abduction (1 more)
The mystery is compelling
Frustrating protagonist, (2 more)
Extremely predictable
Good case for why civilians shouldn’t go rogue and get in the way of police work
A frustrating abduction mystery
You know that age in every teenager’s life where they start to become a little bit rebellious? Telling little white lies, sneaking out, hanging out with crowds they know the family wouldn’t approve of? It can be a scary time for parents, who knows who’s out there? The Darkest Lies is every parent’s worst nightmare and follows a mother who finds her world shattered when her daughter goes missing.

I’m going to come right out and say that this book was frustrating for me. The synopsis really caught my eye and the idea for the plot is intriguing. Unfortunately, issues with the protagonist as well as a shaky and highly predictable plot made for a mediocre experience.

The narration in this book was a little bit weird and I had a hard time getting used to it. It is primarily told using first person point of view though switches regularly to second person as Melanie speaks directly to Beth in her inner monologue. It was just uncomfortable to read.

What’s so bad about first person point of view? See the issue for me with first person narration is that it’s easy to end up alienating readers if it’s difficult to relate to the narrator, and boy did I dislike Melanie. To be blunt, she was really annoying. She was self-centered, mean-spirited, often blinded by her own hubris, and near the end has a bit of a messiah complex going which I found completely ridiculous. She was constantly complaining about the police’s incompetence, throwing herself in the way of the investigation despite being asked multiple times to back off before she could destroy their leads. “I couldn’t go home. I was too furious, too desperate to prove I was right and the police were wrong.”

I get it, she’s consumed with guilt and grief over what happened to her daughter, over not being able to protect her. Desperate people tend to lash out and do stupid things, but I just couldn’t believe anyone would be so foolish. Melanie’s antics do lead up to something important in the plot, but honestly she didn’t need any help making a fool of herself. Before all the crazy came out she was constantly breaking down every female character she encountered, often focusing in on their looks and finding ways to insult them. Neighbors, police officers working on the case, teenagers, it didn’t matter. There are numerous examples of Melanie exhibiting this jealous personality throughout the course of the book.

She spends more time going on drunken rampages pointing fingers at everyone in town, harassing the police, treating her husband like garbage while emotionally cheating with a friend, and avoiding actually seeing and being there for her daughter. While her awful actions over the course of the book is an important aspect of the plot, I just couldn’t justify it because she never learns and remains stubborn even after being told off multiple times. Add on top how stereotypically reckless she acts at the end instead of seeking help from the police because of course she doesn’t need them and I just couldn’t dig the story.

I liked the central idea around the dangers of teens sneaking out and trusting strangers, but the story meandered so much it kind of gets lost in Melanie’s mental collapse and crazed search for the culprit. The plot attempts to use some misdirection to keep the reader guessing but the construction was just sloppy, and the actual culprit isn’t even the character that Melanie cares about the most. Every “bad” character is so blatantly obvious that the advertised twist is really easy to see. I kept on reading because I wanted to know the how and the why. I think there was potential here, and if the author wanted to stick to the narrative that Mel is actually really nice and is just being manipulated then why does she remain every bit as petty and controlling? She is still unable to see past her own emotions and unable to learn from her mistakes. I wished that this could’ve ended with more character growth for the main character.