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The Roanoke Girls
The Roanoke Girls
Amy Engel | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry
10
8.0 (14 Ratings)
Book Rating
Reviewed By Beckie Bookworm
https://www.beckiebookworm.com

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This review may be a bit spoilery concerning the theme of this novel, this couldn't be helped but I've tried to be as vague as possible.

<p>"Roanoke girls never last long around here. In the end, we either run or we die."</p>

These were the words that originally captivated me, pulling me in and compelling me to pick up The Roanoke Girls by Amy Engel.
This was quite a read, an unusual one, reminiscent of bygone authors, setting a stage of intrigue, mystery and dysfunctional family dynamics.
The secrets surrounding Roanoke are subtlely revealed early on leaving the reader highly aware of what flows beneath the seemingly normal surface.
This is a definite page-turner despite the exploration of <spoiler>incestuous family relations.</spoiler>
This tale is told in two parts "Now and Then" and the storyline seamlessly hops between these two timelines.
We also get to jump briefly into the heads of each Roanoke girl that came before, which I found very enlightening, I really loved this touch and it greatly added to the storyline giving the reader an insight into what each girl was feeling deep inside her own skin.
Jane, Sophia, Penelope, Eleanor, Camilla, Allegra, Lane there is also little Emmaline but she died of a crib death as a baby.
All Roanoke girls, all carrying the same secrets down through the years, messed up heads and lives affected tragically.
The echoes of this rebounding out through each new generation.
This story is told through Lane Roanoke's point of view after her mother commits suicide and Lane comes to live with her Rich grandparents and cousin Allegra on the family estate.
This is the "THEN" portrayed in the narrative.
The "NOW" is Eleven years later when Lane returns to the family home after a frantic call from her granddad informing her that her cousin Allegra is missing.
After vowing never to return, Lane reluctantly returns home confronting secrets shes buried deep down inside.

I loved Lane as a character, she was a bit of a messed up headcase, but who can blame her.
It's obvious Lane Loved Allegra so deeply and this was the only thing, I think, her disappearing, that could have dragged her back to the bowels of Roanoke.
It was also very thought-provoking to observe Lane's former teenage toxic relationship with cooper rekindled as adults and I really did like him he had his own past baggage but really seemed to have evolved from this, unlike Lane.
I was so rooting for these two and I thought they made a great match, neither party having had it easy in life, they both deserved a bit of stability in the now.
Now Lanes connection with her grandad this was a strange one, confusing even I think to lane herself she really seemed to feel equal measures hate and love towards him.
Struggling with her mixed up emotions, greatly wanting to loathe him but feeling a strange pull, maybe because Lane feels he was the first person to actually seem to want and love her after enduring a lifetime of apathy from her mother.
As for the gran, well, What a cold selfish bitch she was.
I felt she herself held a huge role in what had been allowed to transpire, isn't it a mothers job to protect her daughters.
In this Lillian Roanoke has failed epically actually blaming her daughters instead of shielding them, she was such a cold fish only seeming to feel any affection towards her twisted husband.
Turning a blind eye and looking the other way is her game.
Surprisingly she was my least favourite character even over Myles Roanoke himself.
I think it was the whole lack of maternal anything that contributed to my dislike of her immensely.
The Roanoke Girls has so many diverse flawed individuals that all do their part in making this an enthralling page-turner.
This is a portrayal of a family that is so not right and has not been for a very long time.
It is Love expressed so wrongly and out of context that it has become a sickness consuming from the inside out devouring till nothing remains standing.
A Dysfunctional family with dark concealed secrets at his core.

So I felt the author Amy Engel did an amazing job of dealing with such an explosive subject matter. she has handled it beautifully with finesse and a great understanding of such a delicate topic. Not everyone could have done this so sensitively and without sensationalising it so Really well done.

So that's it from me folk's, I could waffle on all day about this fascinating story, but I'm going to leave it here, but before I go a trigger warning The Roanoke Girls deals with themes of incest, but bar the one small kiss it is only referred to in words not actions and it is really not graphic in its content at all, but if this is a trigger for you please do avoid.
So all that's left is for me to say Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher and the author Amy Engel herself for providing me with an arc of The Roanoke Girls this is my own honest unbiased opinion.

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Reviewed By Beckie Bookworm
https://www.beckiebookworm.com/
https://www.facebook.com/beckiebookworm/
  
American Psycho
American Psycho
Bret Easton Ellis | 2011 | Fiction & Poetry
10
8.3 (9 Ratings)
Book Rating
http://bookbum.weebly.com/book-reviews/american-psycho-by-bret-easton-ellis

<b><i>”...there is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I am simply not there.”</b></i>

I have no idea how to verbalise the fact that this has become a new favourite book of mine, because I absolutely <i>love</i> it, but I don’t want people to think I’m a maniac… I wasn’t expecting to not love this, I mean the film is one of my favourites, so I was really looking forward to giving this a read, but I didn’t expect to love it as much as I do! I feel all kinds of wrong being so amazed by this book but I can’t help it. It’s funny, it’s dark, it’s brutal, it’s shocking and it’s eye opening.

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/KYNywoibU1PQ4/giphy.gif"; width="500" height="210" alt="leo dicaprio shrug"/>

So, Patrick Bateman, our one and only POV of this story. Batemen is a young, middle class, good looking, sophisticated and intelligent stockbroker. He’s charming and arrogant, but he’s also an ax and knife and nail gun wielding mad man.

<img src="http://media0.giphy.com/media/YfdumeFM14CGc/giphy.gif"; width="500" height="213" alt="americanppsychogif"/>

But he’s also a total <b>goofy dork!</b> <i><b>””I’m clam, I mean calm,” I say, breathing in hard, trying to smile”</b></i> Bateman can’t get a grip on himself <i>at all.</i> Not only does he have moments where he’s running around Manhattan screaming like a banshee, sweating profusely, and having, what can only be described as, a mental breakdown, but he’s also just a mess at all times. He’s constantly getting himself in a tizz, experiencing panic attacks all over the place. I mean he started talking about the ozone layer and then instantly told a couple of knock knock jokes, that’s not smooth Bateman. This constant goofiness of Bateman is what makes this book so funny for me. Ellis is excellent at adding this clumsy human characteristic to an otherwise robotic man.

Bateman is troubled, in more ways than one. Not only is he a serial killer but he’s also an outsider and he knows it. <b><i>””Because,” I say, staring directly at her, “I… want… to… fit.... in.””</b></i> This is why he’s always trying so hard to impress people, and why he’s obsessed with being the best.

Normally I hate when there are long paragraphs in books that simply list things about what a person is doing or wearing, for example in Maestra I couldn’t care less, but this excessive listing of things, unimportant materialist things, is such an important element of this book. These tiresome, obsessive lists give us such a clear insight, right from the start of the novel, into the incredibly paranoid, jealous and demented mind of Bateman. When we near the end of the novel Ellis does something absolutely mind blowing; he changes to third person. This sudden change on narrative has such a strong impact on the reader and is the perfect, <i>perfect</i> way of representing Patrick’s detachment to life.

Please, please, please do not read this book if you’re faint hearted or you’ve gone through some terrible things in your life. I don’t think this book needs specific trigger warnings, but in case you haven’t already guessed it, this book includes some very, <i>very</i> graphic and grotesque descriptions of torture, murder and rape. I think it’s quite hard to shock me, but this book made me wince and gasp quite often. I even had to put the book down briefly after reading some of the descriptions, breathe, and then get back to reading. It can be really tough on your imagination, that’s for sure. <b>The rat scene…</b> <spoiler>I mean I thought the scene with Bethany was bad but I had a whole other thing coming! It seriously worries me how well Ellis can describe this brutal torture. I could actually feel the bile rising in my throat when I was reading about the things Bateman did to Tiffany.</spoiler>

<img src="http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Jim-From-Office-Shiver.gif"; width="300" height="169" alt="jim from office shudder"/>

I’m not going to go in depth on the claim that this is a misogynistic book, all you need to know is that I don’t agree with that statement in the slightest. If you want to read some more on why that notion is ridiculous please look at <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/109385399?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1">karen’s review.</a>

This book is definitely a new favourite of mine and I can feel it becoming one of those books I read over and over again. I’m so happy I finally sat down and read this, I don’t regret a moment of it, plus I got it for only £2.99. Thank you Ellis for this wonderful piece of literature, I hope your other novels brings me the same joy as this did.

<i>P.S. Isn’t it funny how Donald Trump is mentioned in this book over and over and over… because Trump is the greatest example of everything this book represents.</i>
  
Alien Abduction (2014)
Alien Abduction (2014)
2014 | Horror, Mystery, Sci-Fi
5
6.5 (2 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Story: Alien Abduction starts by informing us this is based on actual footage found, *sigh*. This before going off to show us footage that looks like is being shot through a pair of fingers with screaming in the background. All this and the camera gets dropped out the spacecraft. The film then decides to inform us about The Brown Mountain Lights a location in North Carolina that has a high disappearance rate. Time for the experts and locals to give us their stories about what has been happening and a theory behind what is happening. More reading before we find out who the camera belonged too.

Oh great now the film starts with the Morris family and their camcorder holiday being filmed by autistic 11 year old boy Riley (Polanski). The family which includes Katie (Sigismund), Corey (Eid), Jillian (Clare) and Peter (Holden) are camping out around the The Brown Mountain. On the first night the children see UFOs in the sky and film it but don’t seem to rewind and watch it. The family continues their trip and gets lost while travelling to the next location and the family finds themselves stranded very low on gas. What the family finds next is a string of abandoned cars blocking the road and investigating the tunnel they find themselves under attack from aliens.

We now have to deal with an over panicked family running for their lives against an enemy they can’t imagine beating. The family makes out hiding with generic redneck Sean (Bowser) where they have to survive the night.

Alien Abduction started off by really annoying me for first 5 odd minutes because of the amount of reading on a found footage film is too much. One thing that always annoys me with found footage is bad decision and this is filled with them starting very early on. Let’s list them panicking too much, turning the light on in the dark so the aliens know where you are, not turning around after finding plenty of abandoned cars and finally after the first light sighting why didn’t you just pack up and go home. I know a lot of these found footage films criticise why they carry on filming but I think this one gets away with it by making the kid autistic and needs to film everything to keep him happy. In the end this does have good scares but not original ones and you never really end up feeling truly scared as everything unfolds because you know how it ends thanks to the beginning. (4/10)

 

Actor Review

 

Katherine Sigismund: Katie Morris is the mother of the family who is all out to protect her family from the aliens, she tries to stay strong after the early loss of the father. Katherine does a solid job by making us feel like she really is the mother of the house. (6/10)

 

Corey Eid: Corey Morris is the eldest son who has to become the man after his father sacrifices himself to save the rest of the family. Corey does solid job and like most of the cast we really do believe they are just a family. (6/10)

 

Riley Polanski: Riley Morris is our autistic cameraman and we see nearly the whole film from his point of view, this helps use try and get into the idea of the fear he would be going through watching his family being picked off one by one. It is hard to rate someone behind the camera. (5/10)

 

Jillian Clare: Jillian Morris is the only daughter of the family who has to try and help keep Riley safe once the aliens start turning up. Jillian gives a solid performance but never really shines. (6/10)

 

Jeff Bowser: Sean is the nice redneck who lives in and around the mountains that helps the family try and survive the horror that is out there waiting for them. Jeff does a solid job and his character constantly turning up makes us believe they could survive. (6/10)

 

Support Cast: Alien Abduction doesn’t really have much of a supporting cast with the only character we actual meet in the father of the family who doesn’t last too long.

 

Director Review: Matty Beckerman – Matty does a solid job with the scares, but gave away too much information about the location because there was no reason or chance for the characters to learn about the history. (5/10)

 

Horror: Alien Abduction enters the found footage horror genre nicely but will end up going down as a standard one. (7/10)

Sci-Fi: Alien Abduction uses the alien abduction well but never really makes us see more than we need to about the ship. (6/10)

Thriller: Alien Abduction never lets you care about the characters because you know what happens at the end, not all found footage films need everyone to die. (6/10)

Settings: Alien Abduction puts us in a location that could very well have unexplained experiences happening there but surely people would suggest not going there on a camping trip. (8/10)

Suggestion: Alien Abduction is one for the found footage fans out there to try it isn’t special but does have its good moments. (Found Footage Fans Try)

 

Best Part: Not holding back with the first alien encounter.

Worst Part: Too much given away early on with the reading.

Kill Of The Film: Katie

 

Believability: No (0/10)

Chances of Tears: No (0/10)

Chances of Sequel: No

Post Credits Scene: Yes there are two.

Similar Too: VHS 2 Alien Abduction part.

 

Oscar Chances: No

Runtime: 1 Hour 25 Minutes

Tagline: Fear The Lights

 

Overall: Found Footage falls from the sky here, literally.

https://moviesreview101.com/2016/01/22/movie-reviews-101-halloween-midnight-horror-alien-abduction-2014/
  
To Kill a Mockingbird
To Kill a Mockingbird
Harper Lee | 1989 | Children, Fiction & Poetry
8
8.6 (96 Ratings)
Book Rating
Well, February is definitely the month for discovering classics I’ve missed! For some reason, I’d always classed To Kill a Mockingbird in amongst the Agatha Christie genre of murder mysteries – not that I’ve read those either – and didn’t know enough about it for it to have piqued my interest. Now I’ve read it though, I can see what all the fuss is about, and it’s not surprising that, despite being published in 1960, it was still the <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2012/aug/09/best-selling-books-all-time-fifty-shades-grey-compare">65th best-selling book of all time</a> in 2012. Beware of spoilers!

The story is set in Maycomb, Alabama in the 1930s, and is written from the perspective of Jean Louise ‘Scout’ Finch, who is between six and eight years old as the story progresses. The start of the book does an effective job of introducing us to all the characters. Scout lives with her widowed father, Atticus, a lawyer, her brother Jem (who is 4 years older than her) and Calpurnia, a black woman who acts as a type of mother figure. A friend, Dill, also joins them in the summer. The three children are intrigued by Arthur ‘Boo’ Radley, who lives in the house on the corner but is never seen outside. I really enjoyed this part of the story; it set the scene brilliantly, as well as helping me reminisce about my own childhood. Even if there is no ‘haunted’ house, children will always make one – at least, my brother and I did! With the limitless amounts of imagination children have, there will always be adventures to be had and ‘monsters’ to escape from. There was one particular house, when we were around the same age as Jem and Scout, where they had a doorbell you pulled, like a cord. My brother Josh said it was a doorbell that made you scream every time you pulled it, so we obviously had great fun in pulling it, screaming, and running away. If by some fluke the person living there is reading this, I’m really sorry, but it still makes me laugh! There was also every Christmas, when we went carol singing. We had decided that the houses beyond the wood were richer than the others, and every year would link arms, lighting matches to try and find our way in the dark and telling ghost stories the whole time.

Once everything has been established, the book moves on to a case Atticus is defending. A black man, Tom, has been accused of raping Mayella Ewell, part of a trashy white family with very poor education and even less money. This is where the casual prejudice of the time is evident – Jem and Scout have to put up with people calling their family a “nigger-lover” (sorry if that language offends, it is a direct quote and I mean no harm); Atticus faces repercussions for his whole-hearted attempt to save Tom; and many of the Maycomb women look down on the black community. However, there’s still a touch of hope – the way Atticus defends Tom’s case makes everybody think, a great feat in the setting where black and white people are in completely different classes. In this part of the story, I really looked up to Atticus, in his seemingly-infinite wisdom.

In the final part of the story, Jem and Scout finally get to meet Boo Radley, and it is here that the title of the book becomes apparent. In the middle of the book, after Jem and Scout get air-rifles, it is said:

<blockquote>When he gave us our air-rifles Atticus wouldn’t teach us to shoot. Uncle Jack instructed us in the rudiments thereof; he said Atticus wasn’t interested in guns. Atticus said to Jem one day, “I’d rather you shoot at tin cans in the back yard, but I know you’ll go after birds. Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ‘em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”

That was the only time I ever heard Atticus say it was a sin to do something, and I asked Miss Maudie about it.

“Your father’s right,” she said. “Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don’t eat up people’s gardens, don’t nest in corncribs, they don’t do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That’s why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”</blockquote>

Obviously, not knowing what was coming, I thought the story must eventually be about the children shooting a mockingbird. The last page of the book, though, I realised that it was a lot more subtle and symbolic than that. The mockingjay is Boo Radley, the man who gives when he can and causes no harm.

I really wish I’d read this story as a child, to see what sort of perspective I’d have had back then. Reading as an adult means that, while Scout was a brilliant perspective, I was almost reading as an outsider. I could see her maturing, slowly fitting the pieces together to start acting like an adult, but at the same time it was an undeniably adult reading. I really really enjoyed the book, but I have a feeling it’s one of those multi-faceted ones where you read something different every time. I can’t help thinking that reading it as a child would have been a lot more powerful.

This review is also on my <a href="http://awowords.wordpress.com">blog</a>; - if you liked it, please check it out!
  
R
Revived
4
4.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
I must be the sad opposite corner of book club. NEARLY EVERYONE ELSE LOVED REVIVED AND I DIDN'T.

Oh wait. You guys totally feel my pain... right? At least, when it comes to bestselling novels and what not?

Here's my impression of this year's Gateway Readers Award nominees:

<b>2014-15 GATEWAY READERS AWARD NOMINEES</b>
Of Poseidon by Anna Banks – Eh... sounds very romancy.
Croak by Gina Damico – I have this book and wasn't able to read it last month. :(
Something Like Normal by Trish Doller – Nope.
Don't Turn Around by Michelle Gagnon – Consider me very interested.
The Fault in Our Stars by John Green – Completed. Me thinks this is overrated. I'm sure Ella agrees.
Burning Blue by Paul Griffin – Meh.
The Night She Disappeared by April Henry – Meh.
Every Day by David Levithan – Probably as overrated as TFIOS.
Revived by Cat Patrick – I'm discussing this in the next few minutes. Go figure.
Starters by Lissa Price – NOPE.
Trafficked by Kim Purcell – My comment about this made favorite book club moment for one of my friends.
Boy21 by Matthew Quick – ha. Ha. HA. Yeah... NO.
Dark Eyes by William Richter – Meh.
Article 5 by Kristen Simmons – Consider me a tad interested.
Breaking Beautiful by Jennifer Shaw Wolf – Hello? Sophia + Contemporary = No, no, nooo, don't mess with my heart. Yes, that's a song.

I envy the middle schoolers. They have better nominees (Truman Readers Award). :p

I was overly hesitant with reading Revived. I mean, a girl dies at a really young age and became a guinea pig in this program that brings dead people back to life. Great! But honestly, do I care? No... not really. It's like Zach's Lie and Jack's Run with the name changes and "witness protection program" (not necessarily the latter, but it feels like it). It's like Falls the Shadow with the "experiment," and since the idea seems a little similar to that particular book (minus clones. That concept is used in Patrick's The Originals.), I pretty much knew I would be treading on thin ice if I read the book. Very thin ice, because this could go a few ways:

1. It would be absolutely magnifique! As a result, I'll be fangirling with Kahlan and Co.
2. I would find it predictable. But the thing is, most books ARE predictable to me. Lupe and Small Co. warned me of this.
3. WHYYYYY. *wails*

Here's the truth in paragraph format (oh, and technically, the review):

Revived wasn't a waste of my time, but I just don't like the book. I mainly don't like this entire analogy of "God" and "Jesus" and "Converts" and "Disciples" being used. I just don't. I get the analogy – I mean, only someone as divine as God can actually bring back the "dead." Really, it's as bad as learning about the Puritans – an absolute nightmare (even though Honors American Literature tests are the only reasons WHY my grade is climbing quickly). Plus, I try to tread very carefully with these topics.

I also found Revived pretty predictable. By page 88, there were two sentences that pretty much gave the entire plot away:
<blockquote>If God says we move, there's nothing Mason can do about it. If God says we move, we move.</blockquote>
Tell me that doesn't make you ask questions. The first comment I had? So basically if God says you die, you die? In treading very carefully on delicate topics, yes, this is true. In relation to the book, this so called God is what? A person! Tell me if you would actually be willing to die for a random stranger who you a) have no clue WHO it actually is, b) WHAT he looks like, and c) doesn't he sound like a person with an over-inflated ego?

I honestly didn't like the way the story would actually go from then on out. My second point bull's eye was the newspaper article Daisy shows Matt about what really happened to her and 20 others:
<blockquote>…after a Brown Academy bus drove over Highway 13 bridge and plummeted into icy...</blockquote>
Heh. Sounds fishy. One does not simply drive over a highway bridge and "plummet" into a lake. True, true, there may have been a patch of ice, but here's the thing: snow plowers usually plow and salt highways first. So the chances of a bus just "driving" over a highway bridge sounds quite fishy unless it was done on purpose... by "God." Or, the bus driver was suicidal. But why kill a bunch of little kids?

Add to the fact that "police have not determined the cause of the collision..." Had there really been a patch of ice, it wouldn't just simply disappear right away. Or would it?

Finally, I don't get the end. Not really. I see some loopholes to the end here. What if Matt accidentally calls Daisy by her real name and not what everyone else knows her to be? (There was also one more question, but I can't post it without giving away HUGE spoilers.) I would actually love to see a second epilogue in regards to this to be honest.

But really. Had I been screeching about WHY I wasted my time, this wouldn't be called, "Review: Revived by Cat Patrick."
-------------------------
Original Rating: 2.5 out of 5
Original Review posted at <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2014/10/review-revived-by-cat-patrick.html">Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
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Cooking Customers
Cooking Customers
2019 | Card Game
Raise your hand if you have ever worked in the food industry. Okay, I see a few hands. Now raise your hand if you have ever been so torqued by a customer that you wanted to cook them in a pie. Oh, thanks for your hand Mrs. Lovett. Good to know. Well this game is an experience of getting your money and getting out. Fastest one to do so will win, and if you have to stew a few eyeballs in the process, more power to you.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T

Cooking Customers is a card and dice game where the first player to amass $20 in “tips” will be crowned the winner. Players earn tips by serving enough meals to customers at each table. Players can receive meals by rolling them on dice, or by card manipulation. Let me explain.

To setup, place the meals (black discs) in the middle of the table for all to reach. Similarly, place all the dice nearby. These dice have three sides: FIRED, MEAL, and a blank side. Shuffle the mighty deck of cards and deal five to each player, placing the rest of the deck in the middle of the table. Finally, shuffle the Table cards and place somewhere near the other components. Players are now ready to begin!

On a player’s turn, they will first draw the topmost Table card to be placed in front of themselves. This card will show how many meals need to be served to it to be satisfied and earn tips. The Table cards will mostly just sit there in front of players collecting meal discs for the game’s duration. Once a Table card is drawn (and only one Table per player, please) the active player may then play cards from hand. A player may play one or two cards, but only one card may be played to the active player’s tableau, and only one card may be played on an opponent. Should a player not wish to play a card to anyone’s tableau, they must discard a card to the middle of the table. Then the active player will draw back to the hand size of five cards.

Cards played to other players are usually bad, Munchkin-esque cards that halt progression or just cause mayhem for their designs. I will not go into detail on these, as half the fun of this game is the Take-That of these cards. Cards played to a player’s own tableau can be a myriad choices: Cooks, Helpers, Kitchen Supplies, etc. The most important are the Cook cards. A player will need to have a Cook “hired” in front of them in order to participate in the next phase of the game: rolling dice. Players can have Helper cards (sous chefs) and Kitchen Supplies active without a Cook, but the player may not roll dice or serve meals without a Cook. Cooks and Helpers will dictate how many dice are rolled in the next phase of a turn, and rolling more dice is always better.

Once all cards have been played on a player’s turn, they may now roll the dice (though for a game with such a dark theme I say we use the “Roll Them Bones” colloquialism). When the dice are rolled, players are hoping for MEAL to show up on all dice. This is how a meal can be collected and served to the Table cards. However, if at any time all dice read FIRED then the player’s Cook is fired and they may not continue rolling dice. The Cook is discarded and play is forfeited to the next player. #cheflife amirite?

Once a Table card has all the meals it needs to be satisfied, the player may score it by flipping it over to reveal the amount in tips they have earned. Play continues in this fashion until one player has earned $20 in tips. They can then taunt the other players with their superiority.

Components. Cooking Customers is a BUNCH of cards, some painted wooden discs, and some embossed dice. The cards are good quality, the discs are good as well, and the dice are great. All the components are pretty darn good. The art, though gross at times, is really well-done (see what I did there) and kept us laughing throughout our plays.

I do have one qualm about this game: the rulebook. Though only six pages long and with lots of illustrations throughout, I found that reading it made me more confused than it should have. I did take the rulebook’s advice to go to the publisher’s website, goodenoughgames.com, and watch the rules explanation and playthrough. That helped immensely to clear up what the rulebook did to my brain.

All in all, we had a great time playing this one. We all like Munchkin, and though it is NOT Munchkin, Cooking Customers delivers a take-that dice and card game that really is worth checking out. If you are looking for something with a new theme that plays quickly and has some meat on its bones (and there), then we certainly recommend Cooking Customers. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a hearty (food puns are too easy) 13 / 18. You can purchase a copy at goodenoughgames.com currently. While you’re there please watch the video.
  
Tomorrowland (2015)
Tomorrowland (2015)
2015 | Sci-Fi
I have to be honest. I was confused when I first heard that a movie was being made called Tomorrowland, and even more so when I heard it that actually is based on the themed area of Disney parks. How could they do it? What would it be about? It was strange. The teaser trailer didn’t give a whole lot away either (as teasers are designed to do). When I saw the full trailer, I had a little more understanding, and it definitely piqued my interest, but I was still totally in the dark. And I wanted to see the movie! I guess Disney really did their job right.

In this film, Tomorrowland is a place of unlimited possibilities. Another dimension, where the inhabitants of that dimension actively seek out intelligent people, inventors, who can do something that can change the world for the better. We begin at the 1964 World Fair in New York where we see a young Frank Walker (Thomas Robinson) entering into the inventor’s competition with a jetpack that doesn’t quite work. However, a mysterious young woman named Athena (Raffey Cassidy) takes an interest in him, offers him a pin and instructs him to follow her. Thus begins Frank’s adventure and we move forward in time to the present day, where we meet Casey Newton (Britt Robertson).

Casey is the teenage daughter of a NASA engineer, who is no slough in the intelligence department herself. We are introduced to her as she is sabotaging equipment at a NASA launch pad that is scheduled to be taken down, which will leave her father without a job. We see Athena again, who has mysteriously not aged, leaving a pin for Casey to discover Tomorrowland on her own. Only, this pin is a simple advertisement. We soon learn that something has gone terribly wrong, and our world is in danger. Athena leads Casey to an aged Frank Walker (George Clooney), who has since been banished from Tomorrowland, but still feeds off of their signal and sits and waits for the end of the world, which he knows when it will happen. But he and Athena see something in Casey that will help save both Tomorrowland, and our world.

Given the conversations, the imagery, and the theme of this movie, it is clearly targeted towards children more than adults. Though, there is plenty for an adult to enjoy about the movie, it is important to understand that the movie is clearly targeted to a younger audience. I say this because I feel, as did my guests who attended the press screening, that the main plot device, the main conflict of the movie, is far too complex a concept for this younger audience to understand. So before you read any further, spoiler alert. You have been forewarned. If you do not want to know, skip the next two paragraphs.

The idea here is that Frank Walker built a machine that could see any point in time. Past, future or present. With this machine, he saw the end of our world. The proposed resolution to stop the destruction of earth is this: turn off the machine. The argument being that the world ends because we see it ending. It becomes a fixation of our mind, and so it will happen. Apparently, the people of Tomorrowland have been streaming this information to Earth for years, but instead of taking steps to prevent it, Earth has embraced it. One of my favorite lines, delivered by one of my favorite actors (Hugh Laurie) indicated that we had simultaneous epidemics of obesity and starvation on Earth. It’s mind boggling. But the Casey comes up with the brilliant idea of turning it off, which will prevent the destruction of Earth because people will no longer be so focused on it. It’s a little more complicated than that, but this is the gist of it. Way too complex for your average child to comprehend.

Another part of the resolution and the end of the movie was brilliant, but I think it was poorly illustrated. As I mentioned earlier, the residents of Tomorrowland were searching for intelligent people, often high IQ inventors, who could make the world a better place. At the end of the film, Casey idea is to bring not only intelligent people, but anyone who will make a difference. Dancers, musicians, doctors, pilots, farmers, etc. I think I even saw a waitress in there. These are people who may not normally be recognized as highly intelligent, but can make huge differences in the world. The idea was to not be so limited in thinking, and understand how everything can contribute to a better world. However, they did not really do a great job of pointing this out, so some movie-goers may miss this point completely and simply see it as a rebuilding of Tomorrowland to its former glory.

Other than those two issues, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. It had a great amount of humor, action and endearing moments. It was visually stunning, and took a concept that I never thought could be made into a movie and did just that. The movie was brilliantly cast, even down to the minor characters like Hugo (Keegan-Michael Key) and Ursula (Kathryn Hahn). Of course the score was fantastic, it is a Disney film after all. And despite my issues with the complexity of the plot, I still think that everyone, young and old, will enjoy this film.

Is it perfect? Absolutely not. But it is entertaining, and definitely worth seeing on the big screen. So go check it out. In theaters everywhere, today.
  
Abyss
Abyss
2014 | Card Game, Mythology, Science Fiction
I am not a great swimmer. For several years of my life I would avoid water at all costs. I have since grown to love it, but would still freak out a bit if a crab came towards me. I’m kind of a baby like that. I do so love underwater scenes and the wildlife, so I was bound to enjoy Abyss. Throw in some of the most amazing artwork in all of gaming and you have a hit, right?


Abyss is a push your luck, set collection, hand management, fantasy card drafting game for two to four players. In it players are attempting to gain the most Influence Points to rule the underwater kingdom by recruiting allies and Lords, and controlling locations. The game ends once a player recruits their seventh Lord or if the Lords cards run out before the Court can be refilled.
To setup, lay out the board, shuffle the Exploration cards (starfish backs) and place in the upper left corner. Shuffle the Lord cards (trident backs) and place the deck in the lower left corner. Reveal Lords to each of the spaces drawn to the right of the deck. This is the Court. Shuffle the Monster tokens and place in a messy pile near the board. Next to these place all the Key tokens. Display the Threat Tracker board with the Threat token on the first space. Shuffle the Location tiles into a stack and reveal the first one. Give each player a pearl in a shell cup and the game is ready to begin!

On a player’s turn they will follow the basic structure of Plotting at Court (by spending pearls to reveal more Lords), Taking One Action (by Exploring the Depths, Requesting Support from the Council, or Recruiting a Lord), and Controlling a Location.

Plotting at Court is simply paying pearls to reveal more Lords at Court.

The action choices begin with Exploring the Depths. This is the push your luck portion of the game where players will reveal cards from the top of the Exploration deck one by one, offer the card to their opponents for purchase (payable to the active player in pearls), and then deciding to continue or take into hand. These cards include members of five allied races of underwater species numbered in strength from one to five and monsters. Fighting monsters is an auto-win and the spoils are what is reflected on the Threat Tracker. If players decide to pass, they will move the Threat token down by one level and improve the treasure won when destroying a monster. Any allies that are undrafted will be sorted by family and placed on the appropriate space on the board.

To Request Support from the Council players will take the entire stack from one family on the board. Again, these are made up of the cards that were undrafted from previous Exploring the Depths actions.

Finally, Recruiting a Lord players will be spending their Exploration cards to combine strength values and family types to appease the Lords they wish to recruit. Players will analyze the strength needed on the bottom left of the Lord card along with the number and color of bubbles above the strength number to determine from which families cards will need to be paid. Lords will have special powers that can be used throughout the game until you use them to Control Locations.

Lords and monster tokens afford players keys, and once players accumulate three keys they MUST Control a Location. To Control a Location players will draft a face-up Location tile or draw one to four tiles and draft one of them. Also, players will sacrifice their Lords (and their special powers) to, well, lord over Locations as super powerful property managers. This is done by covering up the special Lord powers with the Location tiles.


Play continues in this fashion of quick turns until a player recruits their seventh Lord or if the Lords cards run out before the Court can be refilled during a Plot at Court action.
Components. As I mentioned in my open, Abyss boasts some of the most magnificent art ever to grace a board game. The aesthetic coupled with the theme makes for a gorgeous game on the table. The cardboard is all good quality and thick, the cards are good quality as well. The black plastic shells and pearls they hold are so nice to play with and I find myself rolling those pearls as fast as I can within the shells and inevitably spilling them everywhere.

The game play is also quite solid. I like drafting games quite a bit and this delivers a lot of drafting in different locations. You draft Exploration cards and Location tiles to beef up your mini empire. Using the Lords as special power cards but having to cover them up to help control a Location is a clever mechanic and helps with any sort of runaway leader issue. I did not touch on a couple rules because they can be a little confusing to new players (ie the affiliation of allies), but even new gamers can appreciate what Abyss does and how beautifully it accomplishes its task.

I cannot overstate how gorgeous this game is and how much I enjoy being able to pull it off the shelf and set it up to people who have never seen it. I mean, even just the box cover, which is a giant face and no text, is very impressive and helps set the tone for the dark but interesting experiences held within. Purple Phoenix Games gives Abyss a boding 14 / 18. Pick it up, post a picture of which box cover you received, and tag us in the post so we can compare.
  
Sacred Rites
Sacred Rites
2020 | Bluff, Deduction, Humor, Party Game, Religious
You know when you are about to be initiated into the cult you’ve been following for a while and you feel completely ready to smash all the steps to the initiation ritual? But then your friend Roger always comes to sacrifice lessons late and just bumbles his way through, so you feel like you have to carry him and his irresponsibility? Well, you always told him that you wouldn’t be able to help him on initiation day and guess who still hasn’t arrived to the bonfire…

Sacred Rites is a semi-cooperative, social deduction party game for three to nine initiates. These special few are about to be accepted into the cult full-time, assuming they all know the rites and traditions to be celebrated. Did you remember all your moves to the required interpretive dance?

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup gather enough windowed Believer envelopes for the number of players and also include the two Outsider envelopes. Believer envelopes have a cutout section whereas the Outsider envelopes have no cutouts. Shuffle these together and place them on the table Crown-side up (so one cannot see which have windows and which do not). Each player chooses an envelope. Shuffle the deck of Rite cards into a draw pile and similarly shuffle the Tradition tiles into a draw pile. Sprinkle the flower tokens around the table (which I just now considered and should have included that little setup action for more immersion) within reach of all initiates. The game may now begin!
To start a round one player chooses a Rite card from the pile and slides it into their envelope. After contemplating the meaning, they then slide out the Rite and pass it to the next player in table order to peruse in their window (if they have one). This continues around the table so everyone has a chance to “look” at it. Each player then chooses a Tradition tile from the pile and similarly secretly peruses it.

Once everyone has completed these steps the Ritual may begin. Any player may begin by revealing their Tradition tile to the group and stating, “The (whatever Tradition tile says) of our Sacred Rite is…” At this point the player will attempt to give the group a clue as to what the Rite card said without being blatant about it. This could be a word, a movement, a sound, or whatever they so choose. When done, the rest of the initiates respond with, “Ahhhh, (whatever the player just said/did/etc).” Every player will need to present their idea of the Rite with their Tradition, even if they are an Outsider.


When all players have performed, a count of three is made and all players will then either point to the player they feel is an Outsider, or point to the sky to declare they believe no initiate is an Outsider. Initiates who guess correctly immediately score two VP (white flowers), and any initiate not accused will score one VP flower. At this point the Outsider(s) will have a chance to guess the Rite, scoring two VP for a correct guess. The round ends and a new round begins. The winner is the initiate who earns 13 points (or more) first!
Components. This is a BEAUTIFUL game to look at and play. The minimalistic style and color palette are perfect choices for this style and theme of game. The cards are those nice smaller cards, and the tiles are lovely wooden tiles. The VP flower tokens are a nice touch, and it also comes with a great little embroidered bag. This is one of the prettiest games I have played and I love all the component choices made.

The gameplay is something that surprised me. I typically do not enjoy my plays of a similar game called Spyfall, but found myself loving every play of Sacred Rites. You see, in Spyfall players ask each other questions in order to suss out the spy, and rounds can go for too many minutes. In Sacred Rites, each turn is similar in timeframe and have a “shoot-them-to-vote-them-out” mechanic like is found in Ca$h ‘n Guns. I much prefer Sacred Rites to Spyfall and will be pulling it off the shelf every time we get the itch to be shady.

I understand that some people may not be into the theme of rituals for cult initiation, but this isn’t a dark game or have any sort of strange, questionable content. I would feel comfortable playing this with my in-laws as much as I would with anyone’s sweet granny. That said, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a moonbeam hippy flowerstone 10 / 12. I believe it to be a wonderful addition to any collection, especially if it lacks a somewhat silly game of accusations and performance, or if, like me, your plays of Spyfall are falling flat. I am so happy to have this one I may actually do a full-length interpretive dance right now. Just let me turn off my webcam…
  
Midsommar (2019)
Midsommar (2019)
2019 | Drama, Horror, Mystery
In 2017 the stale market of “horror” thrillers got a royal shake-up when Jordan Peele made Get Out. All of a sudden it seemed possible again to use the tired genre, that had been relying on gore and jump shocks alone for at least two decades, as a palette for intelligent social commentary and some seriously artistic flourishes. The following year, Ari Aster came out of nowhere with a debut feature that impressed everyone for it’s originality and bravado in this new “art-horror” model – the devisive yet always interesting Hereditary, a film that confused me on first watch, but gave me faith that I could be unnerved again, it’s secret being that you couldn’t compare it to anything since the golden days of the 70s.

So, when I saw the trailer for Midsommar in 2019 and realised it was the same director, it went straight to the top of my must see list. Add to the appeal the significant lure of the lead actress and main character, the extremely promising Florence Pugh, who blew me away for her raw ability in Lady Macbeth, and beguiled me even more in every minute of Chan-Wook Park’s superlative espionage mini-series The Little Drummer Girl, and I knew this was something I didn’t want to miss. Sometimes it only takes two projects on a CV to elevate a future star from obscurity to A-list potential. In Pugh I had already seen enough range, charisma and depth to suspect she was one of those special few. By the end of Midsommar I was convinced of it!

Plot wise, all you need to know going in cold is that Dani (Pugh) racked with grief following early scenes is dragged to Sweden to participate in the Midsommar celebrations of a small isolated community, as her relationship with boyfriend Christian is very much on the rocks and she is in need of some catharsis and release. At first the Idyllic setting, bathed in sunlight you can almost feel, seems refreshing and clean. The whites, yellows and blues of the images are so crisp you can imagine every smell and texture, and you find yourself smiling, despite the fact a creeping unease and sinister secret is already infiltrating the calm in wonderfully subtle ways.

Needless to say it goes to some very dark and strange places. So much so I gasped out loud twice and stood up from my seat involuntarily on one particularly disturbing moment. To try and explain how that unfolds and comes to be is both impossible and would need some big time spoilers, so I won’t do that. It’s enough to say that where you are emotionally at the end of this filmic experience is very, very far from where you started. Much in the same way as Hereditary, you feel you have been dragged by the hair on a very uncomfortable journey that is both strangely unsatisfying, confusing and upsetting; you can’t say you “liked” either film as much as admitting you can’t stop thinking about them and need to see them again to absorb the detail, if indeed you can bear that.

As of writing this I haven’t gone back and watched this again – I’m genuinely wary of putting myself through it a second time! But, I have gone back to Hereditary and appreciated it much more knowing the ending already, and seeing the detail that is there from the beginning, that makes it all make sense in a way it doesn’t first time around. Midsommar, I sense, is the same, in that there has been so much attention to the build up and background that you will see and hear relevant clues to the mystery much more the more times you watch it. What they are wearing, images on walls and seemingly insignificant things the camera picks up on create a tapestry of loose threads that can be woven together into deeper meaning if that is what you want to do.

Without doing that it may seem like a bewildering entity, deliberately odd for the sake of it, and as such it could put anyone off. At 2 hours and 28 minutes it is a bit of a stretch, and the last half hour, once it descends into the complete madness suggested earlier, perhaps doesn’t live up to the promises it makes. Also, despite Pugh being a mesmeric presence from start to finish, the supporting cast can’t quite go with her on the same level. Even the talented Will Poulter seems burdened by a less than three dimensional character, underwritten as are many in a script that focuses so much on Dani that everything else suffers.

My overall impression of it as a film is that it falls short of greatness by a narrow margin, but comes very close at times to genuine genius. It is the promise of Aster as a filmmaker that excites me most, even if this is not the film it could have been with a little more experience, maturity and, perhaps, budget. It is his Bottle Rocket, or Hard Eight, when you suspect he will have a Grand Budapest Hotel, or a There Will Be Blood in him at some point down the line.

In conclusion, I can’t emphasise enough how much I was drawn to every moment of what Florence Pugh was doing. Be wary of the film if a casual viewing experience is what you want, because it may infuriate you, and compel you even to switch it off, if you are not totally ready to meet it where it wants to take you. But, watch it for Pugh and see what a rare talent she is bringing to cinema into the 2020s. A very exciting prospect indeed.