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Flightless Falcon
Flightless Falcon
Mickey Zucker Reichert | 2000 | Science Fiction/Fantasy
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Shelf Life – Flightless Falcon Still Glides Pretty Well
Flightless Falcon is a light DAW fantasy by Mickey Zucker Reichert that first came out in paperback in July of 2001. Set in your typical fantasy land – lightly coated in magic but sans any fantastical creatures such as dragons, elves, dwarves, and the like – it follows the sad, luckless exploits of an ex-miner named Tamison made useless after a cave in kills his father and brother and leaves him trapped deep in the mine for a few days.

Afterwards, with a debilitating fear of both the dark and being underground, he’s unable to continue as a miner, yet too unskilled to get any other job. As such, he and his family live in dirt poverty for a decade or so until he finally decides to try stealing what they need instead of earning the money to buy it. Unfortunately he’s just as horrible at this as anything else he tries and ends up in jail for two years.

When he finally gets out, his family’s disappeared, so he adopts a stray dog and lives on the streets for a while. Then one day a guard finds him and tells him, “Hey, I know where your family is, and it’s bad, man, we should go save ’em.” So Tamison saves a fortune teller from some different guards, just for good measure, and the three of them go off to get his family back.

The plot evolves from there – I won’t go into much greater detail because I don’t want to give anything away. And while it’s an entertaining read, it does have its share of snags, though not often or strong enough to derail the overall experience. Still, might was well talk about ’em.

The majority of these moments occur due to the protagonist himself; Tamison’s constant suffering and depression and worthlessness gets a bit irritating after a while (and not a very long while). But you do end up genuinely sympathizing with him, at least for the most part – his self-pitying and constant sobbing are offset, personality-wise, by his intense love and devotion to his family’s welfare (though apparently it still isn’t strong enough for him to suck up his phobia and go back to working in the mines). The end result is a character that, while whiny enough that you want to reach into the pages and smack him, is still believable. The fact that a lot of his misfortune is brought on by bad luck and the overwhelming apathy of the world around him, instead of just his own sad uselessness, also helps save what might have been an otherwise excruciatingly sad-sack protagonist.

But ignore what Miss Reichert and the back cover of the book say – the real star of this story isn’t Tamison, the guard (Dallan), or the fortune teller (Rifkah). It’s the weasely bastard of a con man that Tamison can’t stop running into, the aptly-named Con. This guy’s selfish lack of a moral compass and unwillingness to sugarcoat anything for anyone is a breath of fresh air amidst the hopeful optimism and general boyscout do-goodery of the rest of the starring party, and his quick wit and blunt, sarcastic dialogue are at once impressive and entertaining to read in the circumstances. His back story’s also far more interesting than anything Tamison, Dallan, and Rifkah can come up with.

The story itself also grows past a simple “save some good guys from some bad guys” fetch quest to envelope a degree of political intrigue, subterfuge, loyalty dilemmas, and good ol’ fashion backstabbery. I won’t say anything more past the obvious (there’s a twist, you know there’s gonna be a twist, there’s always a twist) other than to say that the generic good-guy-bad-guy feeling the book’s own synopsis offers slips slowly into a more realistic, more satisfying realm of uncertain grayness that accompanies all conflicts between the world’s two rival governments, the one Tamison belongs to and the one he’s told is harboring his missing family.

Basically, each time you think this book is going to march the plot or one of the characters into Generic Land (and you will occasionally think this multiple times), the direction skews off at the last moment to surprise you. The result is that you end up reading the book in two minds: one for soaking up the story and being entertained, and one with a critical eye turned always on the author’s style, to see where it threatens to stray into unimpressiveness and how it keeps saving itself.

But don’t focus overly much on my criticisms – that’s just how I’ve been trained to talk about good writing, to search for the roughest spots and pick at them in order to see how the whole thing might be polished even more. The reason this book is so easy to criticize is because its weak spots are few and manageable and therefor easy to cover and be done with in the length of a blog post. The overall impression I came away with is still one of a fun, thoughtful, imaginative tale, at times suspenseful, at times moving, and always deeply visual. I didn’t mention the detailed visual descriptions did I? Oh well, I just did. Now you know they’re there.

It’s not going to turn into the next blockbuster fantasy franchise, but if you find it in your used book store, there are less-enjoyable ways to spend your reading time. I recommend Flightless Falcon to anyone who enjoys well-written, character-driven fantasy and doesn’t need it to last through a dozen sequels.
  
Fantastic Four (2005)
Fantastic Four (2005)
2005 | Action, Adventure
In 1994, a low budget film was created in order to preserve the film rights to one of Marvel Comics popular series The Fantastic 4. Created by comic legend Stan Lee, the comic tells the ongoing tales of four people who were endowed with amazing powers after accidental exposure to an element in space.

The film was never released and has gone on to become a popular bootleg amongst comic fans. The ensuing rights for the film were also sold, and for almost a decade Fox has worked in bringing the comic to the big screen.

After years of languishing, the film finally got on the fast track and under the helm of Director Tim Story and features a dynamic cast headed by some of the biggest emerging superstars in Hollywood.

Ioan Gruffudd stars as Reed Richards, a brilliant yet recently bankrupt scientist who, along with his friend Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis), is visiting famed scientist Victor Von Doom (Julian Mc Mahon), in an effort to get his latest venture funded.

Reed is convinced that an approaching storm in space is the key to unlocking vast amounts of genetic secrets and that the shielding on Doom’s space station allows for safe study of the very rare phenomenon.

Doom agrees to the venture in exchange for 75% of all revenue generated from the findings and that he gets to assign certain people to the mission. Among them are Sue Storm (Jessica Alba), and her pilot brother Johnny (Chris Evans). The fact that Sue is Reed’s ex is a source of tension within the group, as she is obviously still hurt and bitter over Reed’s inability to look at her and life in ways that are not based upon analytical science.

Despite the issues, the crew arrives at the station and the test is going according to plan. That is until an unexpected situation arises, which causes the team to get caught in the storm with the shields lowered, exposing them all to the storm’s radiation.

Back on earth, the crew awakens to find themselves in quarantine and suffering no ill effects from the accident. The failure of the mission is of great concern for Doom. His investors are using this as a reason to pull their support, which in turn is causing his stock to drop rapidly.

In time, Reed, Sue, Johnny, and Ben start to show amazing abilities resulting from their exposure to the storm. Johnny can become a human fireball, Reed can stretch his body to amazing lengths, Sue can become invisible and project force fields, and Ben has become a living wall of rock, capable of great feats of strength.

Since Ben is no longer able to pass as a human, he feels like a freak and is shunned by his wife, causing him much anger and depression. It is due to this that the team becomes noticed by the media who dub them the Fantastic 4 after watching them in action.

The resulting fame causes the team to withdraw, save for Johnny who basks in the glory and attention heaped upon him. It is against this changing dynamic that the team must find a way to restore themselves to their normal state and to discover what is causing their new found abilities.

The Fantastic 4 are not the only ones who changed. Doom is becoming more and more angry and violent as he blames Reed for the failure of his company. Victor also has the ability to hurl deadly bolts of energy from his body which is quickly becoming metallic.

As fans of the comic know, it will not take long for Doom and the Fantastic 4 to face off, paving the way for a final confrontation. While I went in not expecting much from the film, I must say I was surprised. Yes, the film has a thin plot, and fairly basic characters and action, but it is also above all fun.

The dynamic between the characters is enjoyable, as is the humor which accurately captures the tone and feel of the comic. Some purists will take exception with some of the liberties taken, such as Doom being on the trip to space and other variations on his character which are not part of the original comic.

Alba and Evans tend to come off at times as airheads but they stay true to their characters throughout. Gruffudd plays Reed with modesty and charm that works well in the film and shows that he is a star on the rise. Praise should be heaped upon Chiklis and McMahon who could easily have become lost behind their costumes. Theygive very human and compelling performances. Chiklis captures the duality of Grimm as he battles his despair over his physical appearance with his desire to do what is right. McMahon does riveting work as the man pushed over the edge and becomes fueled by a desire for revenge and power. The fury and evil upon his face and in his walk shows him as a man of menace and danger.

I for one would have liked to have seen a bit more action in the film but as it stands, it is not as bad as some of the trailers hinted that it might be. If you do not mind thin plots and characters, you may be able to sit back and enjoy this film for what it is, a simple summer escape. Here is hoping that we will see the “Fantastic 4” up on the big screen as the next franchise series from Marvel.
  
Beerbongs & Bentleys by Post Malone
Beerbongs & Bentleys by Post Malone
2017 | Rap, Techno
Post Malone is a rapper from Syracuse, New York. Not too long ago, he released his sophomore album, entitled, “beerbongs & bentleys”, featuring Swae Lee, 21 Savage, Ty Dolla Sign, Nicki Minaj, G-Eazy, and YG.

Malone wears his heart on his sleeve and speaks from the heart. His world is good and bad, and he blames himself for his dual reality because life is what you make it.


PARANOID

Malone opens the album speaking about his paranoia. He’s worked so hard to become rich and successful. Now, he can’t trust anyone around him. He fears that people are out to get him for his riches, which he has stashed in different areas of his home.

To protect himself, Malone sleeps with a gun by his bed. Also, he’s willing to shoot anyone trying to break in or enter his home unannounced.

SPOIL MY NIGHT (FT. SWAE LEE)

Malone addresses limelight-lustful females he encounters in nightclubs. The women know Malone is a celebrity, so they want their social-media world to know that they are hanging out with him.

Malone admits that what he’s doing is wrong. But there’s no need for these women to get star-struck. In a way, he’s suspicious about their move to go live on Instagram. He would rather them chill and keep things on the low.

RICH & SAD

Malone addresses his girlfriend. She’s the reason why he doesn’t want his female fans recording him in the clubs.

Apparently, Malone’s girl leaves him for unknown reasons. Malone claims it’s because his career is skyrocketing. So, that might’ve complicated their relationship. But the real reason is anyone’s guess.

After her departure, Malone feels lonely and depressed, even though he’s surrounded by fame and fortune.

Malone realizes that money can’t buy happiness. All he wants is his girlfriend back.

ZACK AND CODEINE

Malone solves his loneliness by indulging in his guilty pleasures. So, he parties in a hotel lobby, filled with women, drugs, and alcohol.

Malone celebrates his success and doesn’t plan on sleeping anytime soon. As long as he’s partying, he doesn’t feel alone. He even addresses the current state of urban music.

TAKIN’ SHOTS

Malone continues his pleasure-seeking. This time, he’s at another party, mixing unprotected threesome sex, drugs, and alcohol.

Malone is drunk before he gets to the party. Still, that doesn’t stop him from taking more shots. Also, he’s waiting for more drugs to come.

ROCKSTAR FEAT. 21 SAVAGE

Malone identifies what he is—a Rockstar, smoking weed like a Rasta, f*cking hoes, and popping pills.

The Emil Nava-directed video shows Malone as a deranged swordsman. Also, he is warring against the ops, and they are clothed in business attire.

OVER NOW

Malone stops partying and addresses his off-and-on relationship with his girlfriend. This time, he lets her know that he’s been a begging idiot. Now, he doesn’t want her anymore. It’s over!

PSYCHO FEAT. TY DOLLA $IGN

 Malone raps about making his first million, how much he charges for a walkthrough, and how the jewelry on his neck is making his neck cold. Also, all these things he has accumulated, have women asking, “Can I have some to hold?”

The James DeFina-directed video begins with Malone riding a tank in a deserted area. Also, later scenes show Ty Dolla riding inside the tank.

BETTER NOW

Malone reverts back to talking about his ex-girlfriend. He questions her saying that she is better now. But he doesn’t believe that, even though he sees her with a new guy.

Malone is trying to win back her love and faults himself as the problem of their separation. He puts his heart on his sleeve and lets it be known that he’s still in love with her.

BALL FOR ME FEAT. NICKI MINAJ

Malone ditches his relationship drama and puts on his ballin’ jersey. He’s busy on the road getting paid. So, he doesn’t have time to personally take her shopping on Rodeo Drive.

The girl wants to be styled in Saint Laurent fashion. So, Malone offers to pay $30,000 for the shopping spree and nothing more.

OTHERSIDE

Malone reverts back to talking about his ex-girlfriend. He’s been drinking and reminiscing about their rocky relationship. Also, he wants to know why she doesn’t answer when he calls her name.

It seems Malone’s girl did him dirty. She left him in the cold and now he’s burning inside trying to drink away the pain. But somehow, he still loves her and wants the waves to come and take him back to her.

STAY

Malone is stuck in a sunken place. The rocky relationship between him and his ex is starting to get to him and he’s starting to drink more and more.

BLAME IT ON ME

Malone reflects on a time when he didn’t have money and fame. Life was so simple back then.

Now, people around him are trying to take pieces of him, and everything he has worked hard for. He blames himself for them taking advantage of him, even though he knows they love when he’s in agony.

SAME BITCHES FEAT. YG & G-EAZY

Malone raps about being in Los Angeles. He questions, if the population is 4-million, how come he sees the same b*tches? Also, he questions their intention.

JONESTOWN (INTERLUDE)

Malone is depressed again. He mentions the Jonestown cult massacre when Jim Jones poisoned his followers with a poisonous Kool-Aid drink.

Malone raps about his 1992 Ford Explorer. Apparently, he purchased another one for $1,700 and got it customized by West Coast Customs.

CANDY PAINT

Malone continues his lavish talks about his lavish lifestyle, expensive vehicles, and his boss status. Also, he warns people not to plot on what he has because it can get ugly.

‘Candy Paint’ was originally recorded for “The Fate of the Furious: The Album” soundtrack.

SUGAR WRAITH

Malone continues with the car theme. He raps about his Rolls Royce Wraith and taking it out for a drive. Also, he covers other topics.

CONCLUSION

‘beerbongs & bentleys’ is a rhythmic/harmonious album with solid production and detailed songwriting.

Also, it highlights Malone’s struggles, pinpoints his weaknesses and addictions, which are lotion with tears of depression and materialistic happiness.

https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/post-malone-beerbongs-bentleys/
  
Les Misérables (2012)
Les Misérables (2012)
2012 | Drama, Musical, Romance
Words cannot express how amazing this movie is. For those of you who have shouldered through the modern-day musical revival; suffering through the questionable singing talents of many stars as “Phantom of the Opera,” “Chicago,” “Moulin Rouge,” “Sweeny Todd,” and that abysmal rendition of “Nine” – I can assure you, that “Les Mis” will change that perception. For once, the casting crew took the time to select a cast capable of the repertoire’s vocal demands (and Les Mis is very vocally demanding – as most operatic pieces are). It’s apparent that each singer was heavily vocally coached and trained, some faring more so than others. While this is no replacement for raw talent, I can assure you that the cast was downright fantastic.

For years I studied and sang opera. I know music and I’ve sung my fair share of Les Mis pieces in my past. I adore Victor Hugo and “Les Misérables” is by far one of my favorite literary works. When I began to watch this movie, I was keyed up to be critical on the vocal spectrum, the literary aspect, and the representation of one of my favorite Broadway/London pieces. To be frank, I wasn’t disappointed at all.

For those unfamiliar with Hugo’s work or what to expect with Les Mis, let me give you a brief synopsis on its plot and the history of the French revolution in which this takes place. France has just endured her infamous Revolution (the one with the guillotine, Marie-Antoinette, and the Sans Culottes movement) and her people are still suffering. There is no money for food, the country is in the midst of a depression, and the Napoleonic regime is yet to come to fruition. Thus, you find Fantine (Hathaway), a poor but determined (and beautiful) woman trying desperately to make enough money to support her daughter, Cosette, who resides with friends in another city. The book reveals that Madame Thénardier (Bonham-Carter) and her husband, Thénardier (Baron-Cohen) were supposed to be taking the money that Fantine had given to them to provide for her daughter, Cosette. Instead, however, Cosette is forced to live in absolute poverty while Thénardier’s daughter, Eponine, lives the life of opulence. Meanwhile, Jean Valjean (Jackman), an ex-convict, is trying desperately to find legitimate work after his stint in prison for stealing a loaf of bread to provide for his starving family. The infamous policeman, Javert (Crowe), feels Valjean will re-offend and makes it his mission to pursue Valjean until the end.
Finding the world a terrible place as an ex-convict, Valjean seeks to steal from a church her silver, believing he has no other way to survive. It is the love of a good priest, however, who gives Valjean the silver he seeks under the pledge he will become a servant of God and provide for others the same good he has provided for him. Thus, years later, we find Valjean a reformed man (who has skipped on his parole and assumed a new name), running a factory in which Fantine works. And so, when Fantine is fired from her job and takes to a life of prostitution in order to provide for her daughter, it is Valjean who feels the burden of her demise and takes it upon himself to save Cosette and raise her as his own.

Of course, this entire time, Javert is pursuing Valjean and a new revolution is starting to take place amongst Paris’ people. Years later we find Cosette grown to womanhood (now played by Seyfried), and falling in love with one of the revolution’s key players, a youth by the name of Marius (Redmayne). The Thénardiers are back again and we find their once-grand lifestyle has resorted to a life of gutter-crime and Éponine (now played by Barks), is desperately in love with Marius as well (although her love is unrequited). For those unfamiliar with how the story plays out, I will leave it at that.

I will caution those who have never seen this play to prepare for a long show. It is very dramatic and very intense, but visually breath-taking and emotionally moving in so many ways. Vocally, there are times when the legato is lacking and some transitions seemed forced (Crowe struggled many times with allowing his natural vibrato to come through instead of pushing a sustained note; Seyfried’s vibrato is very trill-like and sometimes distracts from the pure quality of her spinto-soprano range). However, I must say that I was blown away by Hathway’s performance (she brought me to tears with “I Dreamed a Dream” due to her emotional rendition) and her ability to truly escape into her character. Similarly, Tviet (he played Enjolras) was stunning with his vocal command and Redmayne was equally as impressive. Jackman will amaze you with his rich tenor and, surprisingly, I found Crowe to have a fantastic baritone when he didn’t force his work. Baron-Cohen and Bonham-Carter provided a much needed comical respite throughout the film (and both sing beautifully as well, although this movie didn’t focus on their vocal command as much). Barks did a lovely job for most of her work; although I found her rendition of “On My Own” a bit forced (she is a true mezzo but seemed to push her high notes, although this may have been where her voice shifted into her head voice which is no fault of her own).

Overall, if you are an avid musical lover and have been waiting for a proper rendition of this production, this movie will astound you. Visually, the movie is breath-taking and the acting is absolutely fantastic. I’m still haunted by the revolutionary song, to be honest. If you’ve been waiting for a musical worthy of the big screen, this one is it. Look for it to sweep the Oscars this year.
This movie deserves an A all around.
  
KOD by J. Cole
KOD by J. Cole
2018 | Hip-hop, Rap, Rhythm And Blues
J. Cole is a popular hip-hop lyricist out of Fayetteville, North Carolina. Not too long ago, he released his long-anticipated, self-produced, fifth studio album, entitled, “KOD”.

J. Cole – “KOD Trailer”

Cole revealed via Twitter that “KOD” stands for Kids on Drugs, King Overdosed, and Kill Our Demons. The rest of the album he leaves to our interpretation. Well, let’s begin.

INTRO


The album begins with caution. Jazz bellows underneath a female voice reciting uplifting words. Her message suggests listeners should make the right decisions (choose wisely) because the past (sand in an hourglass) can provide shelter for their demons.

Also, a way to a painless existence is provided. Those in pain must choose wisely, or make healthier decisions, to avoid being tormented by their past.

KOD

The title track showcases Cole’s Kids on Drugs braggadocios side. In verse one, he utilizes his carnal mind to reply to media/fans asking him a bunch of ‘how’ questions. But instead of being humble, Cole replies to his critics in an arrogant way.

The second verse disconnects from the first and goes into a random storytelling mode with intersecting ideas that jump from one subject to another.

The outro is noteworthy. It forms a bridge between Intro and KOD songs. Also, it ends on a thought-provoking note.

If love is indeed the strongest drug like Cole stated, then why isn’t it being chased after like the drugs listed above? Why aren’t more people getting high off love? The question then becomes…is love even a drug?

That depends on who you ask. But what we all will agree on, love is an invisible element that contributes to people being addicted to drugs? It’s a fact, a strong love for something breeds addiction, dependency, et cetera.

PHOTOGRAPH

Cole uses a 2018 rhyme pattern to address a woman he follows privately on social media. He’s addicted or loves to stalk the woman online, and it’s starting to mess with his health.

Cole always excels when he tells stories about him and a woman. Women are his go-to subject to rap about and he does a pretty good job on this song.

THE CUT OFF (FEAT. KILL EDWARD)

Cole isn’t too fond of doing features on his albums. But this time, he enlists his alter ego, kiLL edward, to help him say that Heaven is a mental mind state.

edward raps that he’s stuck in his fallen ways and that’s why he keeps falling down. That’s why he drinks alcohol and uses drugs to help him cope. But keep in mind that edward is actually Cole.

Cole raps about disloyal friends that owe him an apology and what he’s gonna do to them when they meet. But all the while, edward is in Cole’s mind telling him that drinking alcohol and using drugs will help numb his pain.

ATM

ATM is an energetically poppin’ single with replay value. It begins with the album’s theme—choose wisely.

Cole praises money like it’s biblical and even states that it solved every problem he had. But after counting up all the money, he concludes that you can’t take it with you when you die.

The Scott Lazer & Cole-directed video shows the King of Drugs chauffeuring a bunch of children riding on a drug float. The storyline is dope, reminiscent of a classic video from hip-hop’s golden era.

Also, Cole literally gives his arm and leg to purchase a vehicle. That transaction signifies what people are doing nowadays to accumulate material wealth. But keep in mind, chasing money will lead to your death or downfall. Message received.

MOTIV8

Motiv8 is a good track that features a sample from Junior M.A.F.I.A.’s “Get Money” single.

Cole encourages listeners to get high and get money, even though he just said that chasing money is detrimental to their health.

Verse 2 features one of Cole’s best lyrics and flow.

KEVIN’S HEART

Cole’s continues his lyrical crusade and touches on his favorite subject.

He raps about being in a committed relationship but admits to being an addict that’s addicted to cheating. He tries to fight the temptation and remain faithful but acknowledges that he’s fake for thinking that way.

BRACKETS

The song begins with a Richard Pryor comedy skit.

Cole speaks about being a millionaire and then he receives a phone call from Uncle Sam.

Verse 2 highlights Cole’s disgust with paying higher taxes now that he’s a millionaire.

ONCE AN ADDICT – INTERLUDE

Cole shines brightly on this song, which is reminiscent of Nas’ “Project Windows” single.

He addresses his mother’s battle with alcoholism. The reason why she drank—because Cole’s step-father had a baby with another woman. So, to cope with the pain, Cole’s mother started abusing alcohol.

With no one to turn to, she used to call to talk to Cole. But he didn’t like talking to her while she was drunk.

At the end of the song, Cole regrets being that way to his mother when she needed him the most.

FRIENDS (FEAT. KILL EDWARDS)

Cole finds solace in his alter ego and cops another bag of weed to smoke. Somehow, he needs it to cope and gets aggravated when he doesn’t smoke.

He takes this time to address his friends who aren’t motivated to succeed. He tells them several things they can blame their lack of motivation on. And ends it by saying that the blame game is also an addiction that people use to not get better.

Also, he raps about depression and drug addiction.

WINDOW PAIN – OUTRO

The song begins with a girl telling Cole about the time her cousin got shot. Cole is sad, listening to the girl with tears in his eyes.

Then Cole praises the Most High. He speaks about things he wanna do like killing the man that made his mother cry and seeing his granny on the other side.
The girl ends the song with a powerful message.

1985 – INTRO TO “THE FALL OFF”

Cole ends his KOD album in battle rap mode. He addresses Lil Pump for dissing him on Pump’s “F*ck J Cole” song.

Cole’s flow is melodic and his lyrics cut deep. He foretells Pump’s future and predicts the rapper will be on Love & Hip-Hop in five years. Also, Cole wished him good luck in his career.

CONCLUSION

J. Cole gets a big thumbs up for producing a solid album with no features. Also, his evergreen message of choosing wisely has to be applauded, especially nowadays when living recklessly is being rewarded.

Listeners have different options to cope with their pain. Using drugs and drinking alcohol are just two ways of doing so. But if you choose wisely, and pick a healthier way to ease your pain, your life will change for the better.

https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/j-cole-kod/
  
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Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated Wonder Park (2019) in Movies

Jun 22, 2019 (Updated Sep 25, 2019)  
Wonder Park (2019)
Wonder Park (2019)
2019 | Adventure, Animation, Comedy
Contains spoilers, click to show
First off, this is going to be awash with spoilers because I was absolutely amazed by the reaction I had to it. It's not unheard of for movies to turn out differently to how the trailer portrays them but in this case it felt like a rather low blow. I think there should have been some clues to what lay ahead without having to read reviews.

Second thing to get out of the way... the park is called Wonderland... why is the movie called Wonder Park? Pick one and stick to it!

June and her mum create their very own amusement park, it has amazing rides and its animal mascots love to amuse the crowds as they see the wonders that Wonderland has in store. The pair happily create together until June's mum is too sick to carry on. She needs treatment, which means that June and her father need to hold the fort while she's away. Playing with Wonderland isn't the same without her mother and in that moment she decides to pack everything away. Where fun once stood are now bare walls and a serious June who is hellbent on making sure her father doesn't stumble into anything bad.

What I had expected from the trailers was something comedic, the park was surely run down because June had grown up and make believe wasn't cool anymore... What I was served was something with a much more emotional twist of the knife. As soon as June's mother started looking unwell I knew it would be nothing like I'd expected.

We're never privy to what June's mum has, but the whole illness is a much more "glamorous" version of how real life goes. Ultimately we see her leave for treatment and then she comes back "better". No returning home between treatments, no visiting her at the hospital. In this, illness is obviously treated with magic, and while the film shows the more real aspects of the emotions it glosses over the rest.

Let's go to the cast of characters for a bit, and here comes a massive gripe... The UK version and the US version have a different cast. For whatever reason it's only the US cast that got an IMDb listing so I went off for a Google. Here's a quick comparison:

Peanut - Norbert Leo Butz
Greta - Milas Kunis
Steve - John Oliver
Gus & Cooper - UK version: Joe Sugg & Casper Lee, US version: Kenan Thompson & Ken Jeong
Boomer - UK version: Tom Baker, US version: Ken Hudson Campbell

I am at a loss. This film is absolutely not set in the UK, so why would you sub in a different cast when you have so much talent on the original roster? Suggs and Lee were weak and lacked any kind of dramatic quality. Kenan & Ken... I can hear them in my head now, they would have been wonderful together. I love Tom Baker, but he wasn't right either. It was a rather flat performance that needed a little more pep to boost the slightly bland character. My other query would be why John Oliver was cast as Steve for both versions. After seeing the "backing up" bit in the trailer I had hoped for something better in the expanded scene but no, it really was delivered that badly and the rest of his performance was no different. Having him up against Milas Kunis just added to the disaster, while Greta wasn't a great character Kunis did at least give us a good show.

Back to the story. June is sent off to math camp but on the way she has a panic about what might happen to him while he's on his own. There's actually quite a fun little montage here and that convinces her to get off the bus with the help of her friend so she can return home. Scheme executed she dashes off into the forest to make her way home... ba-da-bing ba-da-boom... magic tree portal.

We find that Wonderland is in tatters because it's cuddly little army of toys are dismantling everything that's fun and sacrificing it to the big black swirling vortex in the sky, a vortex that appeared just after the creative voice stopped whispering design ideas into Peanut's ear for the park... that's right... the swirling doom is June's depression, worry and anxiety caused by her mother going away because of her illness... well, shiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Of course this movie land though, we know everything is going to get better. Our animal friends go from liking June to hating her when she admits the changes were her fault. She then has to redeem herself and everyone lives happily ever after.

I may be paraphrasing a whole section of the film there but that's the basic gist.

There's quite an odd balance in the film, it feels like we hardly get to see much of the park itself, and certainly not a lot in its full glory. The storyline is quite family heavy which for obvious reasons is a little on the serious side. We chop and change between events so quickly that we don't really get to know any of the characters at all, and it's difficult to see how they thought that was sensible in such a short space of time.

The animation is fine, nothing to write home about, but it just seemed to be a little bland on the scale of things. This is really not to say it's bad, we're just lucky to have so much great stuff around at the moment with a standard that is so high.

Wonder Park seems like it's trying to hit a Disney/Pixar level. The message is a surprisingly emotional one and I was surprised how much it affected me, I honestly don't know how I managed to contain my sobbing and on more than one occasion I had tears streaming down my face... there was nothing I could do about it, and I wasn't the only one.

Sadly overall this is a pretty mediocre film but it was so close to being something wonderful. I enjoyed it but there was a lot that could have made it so much better.

What you should do

All of the kids at the screening enjoyed it, for the adults it may well go either way. It definitely deserves a watch at some point.

Movie thing you wish you could take home

If I could have my own magic marker that requires nothing but imagination, I would be unstoppable.