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Dumplin' (2018)
Dumplin' (2018)
2018 | Comedy, Drama
Good On So Many Levels
High school student Willowdean (Danielle MacDonald) decides to enter a beauty pageant to spite her mom Rosie (Jennifer Aniston), a former pageant queen.

Acting: 10

Beginning: 10

Characters: 10
The characters in this story are not just unique and enjoyable. They also represent the melting pot of what this world should be. Willowdean feels out of place because she is heavyset so she tries to attack herself before others do. Her Aunt Lucy (Hilliary Begley) tried to teach her to do the opposite before she passed away, but Willowdean didn’t grasp her aunt’s confidence unfortunately. Through her journey of pageant life, she makes two good friends: Hannah (Bex Taylor-Klaus) who is anti-establishment (or anti-everything, rather) and Millie (Maddie Baillio) a ball of happiness with an overprotective mom. They are at the core of a slew of good characters that brighten the story. And did I mention the drag queens? Phe-no-men-al.

Cinematography/Visuals: 10

Conflict: 10
The conflict here is less about outward confrontation and more about inner discovery. Willowdean’s greatest enemy is herself, something most of us can probably relate to. It is refreshing to watching her battle old demons while coming to terms with who she is and who she can be. Destroying yourself is toxic and Dumplin’ shows how a negative view of one’s self can damage and destroy the relationships around us.

Genre: 10

Memorability: 8
The story as a whole has a magical feeling to it that’s centered in realism, almost like a trailer park Cinderella. I thought of all the 201 movies I watched in 2018. Few touched me quite like this one. A really memorable movie can make you laugh, maybe cry a little, and reflect. Dumplin’ gets the job done. It teaches you never to underestimate yourself and to go all out even when you don’t think you have a shot.

Pace: 10
I love when storytelling is consistent and blends seamlessly from one scene to the next. You get that here. There’s not a whole lot of pointless dialogue that takes you nowhere or random scenes that forces relationship-building. It moves consistently like a batch of waves. Before you know it, it’s over and you’ve had a great ride.

Plot: 10
The story isn’t just original but heartfelt. Something we can all get behind. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen anything like it. You can see the ending coming a mile away, but you’re having so much of a good time you don’t care!

Resolution: 10
Just as with the plot, you definitely see the ending coming a mile away. Doesn’t make it any less awesome or touching. Mum’s the word, but it ties on a nice little bow on the movie as a whole.

Overall: 98
I’m always wary of Netflix originals. Not because they can’t be good, I’ve seen plenty of amazing things on Netflix. Rather I understand that there’s a pressure for them to keep putting out original content at a fast pace because the market is catching up. This could mean more swings-and-misses. Dumplin’ is not a casualty of that in the least. Quality movie.
  
Cars (2006)
Cars (2006)
2006 | Action, Animation, Comedy
The technical wizards at Pixar are back with a new feature film which continues their domination of the animated film genre.

With the huge success of their films The Incredibles as well as Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc. and the Toy Story films, it would be easy to think that the studio might be at a creative crossroads. When recent news around the industry involved the end of their deal with Disney and subsequent new deal with the company after a period of free agency as well as delays on their new project, some began to wonder what audiences would see if their next outing.

Thankfully Cars continues the amazing run of success for the studio and sets the bar even higher for animated films to follow.

The film follows the exploits of rookie racing car Lightning MC Queen (Owen Wilson), who is the hotshot rookie attempting to be the first rookie in history to win the Piston Cup title.

As Lightening dreams of winning the prize and in doing so, a hefty sponsorship with the big oil company, he decides to ignore the advice of his crew which causes him to end up in a three way tie for the title.

In order to resolve the tie a special race is to be held a week later in California between the three winners. En route, Lightning ignores the advice of his driver Mack (John Ratzenberger), and in a series of mishaps ends up alone in the desolate
town of Radiator Springs. As if this was not enough trouble for Lightning, he is forced by the local judge Doc Hudson (Paul Newman), to perform community service to complete the damage he caused to the road upon his arrival.

Faced with the prospect of losing time needed to get to and prepare for the race, the selfish Lightning does his best to alienate the local townsfolk including the local tow truck Tom Mater (Larry the Cable Guy), who like all the locals do their best to befriend him.

Along the way, Lightning learns the values of friendship, teamwork and community as he attempts to find the true meaning of the term “Winner”.

Graphically the film is amazing as the amount of CGI rendering that went into the film is said to be so extensive, it literally taxed the computers at Pixar to their limits. That is clear as the detail level and complexity of the film is staggering. You fully believe that this world populated entirely by machines exists.

There is a lot of humor in the film as well and more than enough nods that will appeal to older viewers yet may be over the heads of younger viewers.

If I had to find fault in the film, it would be that with a running time of slightly over two hours, it does tend to drag in a few places. My nephew and his friend became restless about 50 minutes into the film which made me think that the running time may be to long for some younger children to sit through and that the film might have been better served by trimming about 30 minutes as there were segments that while visually appealing, did not really need to be there.

That being said, Cars is a true delight and proof that once again, Pixar is the undisputed champion of animated films.
  
New Girl
New Girl
Paige Harbison | 2018 | Young Adult (YA)
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Like a reality show you can't turn away from
Contains spoilers, click to show
This is one of the few times where I enjoyed the book however the characters were so unlikable I was amazed that I stuck through and finished the novel. It was well written enough that I was super curious as to what happened to Becca and whether she was really around or if she had a horrible outcome. The mystery element was well done to keep you guessing. The point of views changes between Becca and Callie’s. There’s a good easy flow between the two perspectives so it makes the reading easy to follow and quick.

That being said, the characters were just awful in a sense not that they were unreadable (almost) but they were just horrible awful people. Even our main character wasn’t that likable. However I digress. Let’s break them down:

Becca; Oh darling. You horrible awful attention seeking harpy. Not only do you have issues of your own but because you aren’t happy you feel the need to destroy others and to make sure you drag them down into the mud and follow you through your misery. I had no sympathies. Even when it was revealed what happened. Except for ...well you know.

Max: Another horrible creature and he’s pretty much meant for Becca anyway as they’re both rather terrible people. The “I like you but I don’t want to be together” spiel is ugh. On top of that after you say that you go and do the pursuing. You’re the emotional manipulative type just like Becca and it’s hard to figure out which one is worse. You emotionally play with the main character and give her the yo-yo treatment then get mad when she’s talking with your best friend..oh wait sorry let’s re-write that: “Best Friend”. Dude, you’re like a horrible Tinder date gone wrong.

Dana: You’re a psychotic twit and holy mother mary do you have issues. I get what happened and you stood there and was an observer but you lashing out and being Queen Horrible to Callie (main character) was inexcusable. This behavior can’t even be blamed on grief, you’re just pure malice. Your obsession with Becca is creepy it makes you look like the type of fangirl nobody ever wants.

Madison and Julia: You have no spines and you follow Becca like she’s a Goddess. Stop being sheep and your condescension towards Callie was uncalled for. You each deserve a swift kick for treating her like that.

Johnny: You broke the Bro-Code. You should be banned for life.

Callie: Where do I start with you? You started off as a great main character and a lot of sympathies to you because you started off on the wrong foot and in a precarious situation. However then you did this yo-yo game with Max saying “Yeah I like you but I never said I was going to be with you” sure, that was a savage burn on your part but you keep *whining* about how you like Max so much and he’s not returning the favor because of Becca but he keeps coming back to you like you’re the side piece and you don’t seem to mind that treatment. You try to stick up for yourself with Dana (which was admirable) but then you shrink back into your turtle shell and you just *walk* into these situations even though YOU KNOW it’s going to turn out with potentially bad consequences. You’re like the friend that complains about how horrible your significant other is treating you but you’re still with that person but you don’t listen to advice. You have got to be one of the most frustrating characters I have ever read so far.

Well now! That sums up my opinions of the characters. I say go for reading this one. It’s almost like you’re watching reality TV and it’s such a guilty pleasure but you can’t help but not look away. Maybe because the characters were just so hateful you had to keep on reading. You just wanted to know what was going to happen next.
  
A Whispered Wish
A Whispered Wish
Cindy Louallen | 2014 | Fiction & Poetry, Paranormal, Romance
Zoe hates camping. She loves air conditioning and staying indoors and cozy, but when her friends and boyfriend drag her out into the middle of the woods, she comes along. But things get even more complicated when she wakes up far away from her tent– as a pixie.

Can she become human again with the help of Prince Crispin, a handsome pixie? Or as feelings grow between them, will she even want to go back to her human life?

I decided to give A Whispered Wish a shot thanks to a ridiculous one-star review on Smashwords, written by someone who hadn’t read past the first two lines. But the novel was so cringeworthy, I almost sympathized with that asshole reviewer.

Just reading the novel was a toilsome task, thanks to the obvious typos and grammatical errors infecting the text, not to mention the random tense changes that yanked me out of the story every other page.

But even if I’d been able to be absorbed into the story, there wouldn’t have been anything to be absorbed into. Nothing freaking happens for two thirds of the book!

The beginning involves flimsy world-building and back story and preaching about how humans are horrible and they “can learn a thing or two from the pixies.” That line appears not once, but twice in a book meant to be read by adults, not five-year-olds.

This would be more tolerable if it was the pixies saying this to Zoe, who, as a human, defended herself and humankind. But instead, it was Zoe who instantly accepted that she and all other humans, including her friends and boyfriend, was hellspawn.

She accepts that humans are monsters about two minutes after realizing she turned into a pixie when she asks the other pixies if she can tell her human friends what’s happening.

 “is there a way that we can let them know? Please? I can’t let them keep looking for me. They will be so worried,” tears still flowing. Only now, she can’t stop them.

Fionna pops up beside them, “I’m sorry Zoë, but we just can’t. To let them know that we exist is very dangerous for us.”

“You have to understand,” Brigid said, “they will exterminate us just to find out what makes us what we are.” Zoë knows they are right about this, anything new or something they didn’t understand as humans they dissected or destroyed.

A Whispered Wish, page 30
Are her friends effing Nazis? I can’t think of another reason for why she would have so little faith in them. I’m not saying they should tell the press, but maybe Zoe’s best friends and her motherfreaking boyfriend won’t kill her just because she sprouted wings and shrank to two inches.

Conflict doesn’t flare up until two thirds into the book, and even then, the conflict is more like brief sparks instead of a raging fire. There are a few action scenes, but the action was over so fast, I had to reread them to actually process them happening.

The main conflict between two pixie kingdoms feels more like an afterthought than an actual plotline.

All of a sudden, the pixies stop being this shining beacon of superiority and start being savage and warlike. Prince Crispin and his friends, who have never seen battle before, become expert fighters the second war is declared. It’s contrived and borderline absurd, but that’s fine because the final battle is over in like two pages.

Perhaps A Whispered Wish could have snatched a third star from me with the skin of its teeth if the characters had good chemistry, funny dialogue, or even an ounce of personality, but no.

All the men are strong, athletic, and ready to save the females while making sexist jokes about how women take forever shopping. The women are all kind, girly, and able to manipulate the men with their puppy eyes.

The two most interesting characters are the Queen of Devonshire, and Jaxxon, a defect from Pembrokeshire, and they only have a couple of scenes. Everyone else absurdly boring.

So, A Whispered Wish is a solid two-star read. With some heavy editing and revising, it could have been good, but as is, it’s less interesting than the average hospital waiting room. A Whispered Wish is free on Smashwords.
  
Tomb Raider (2018)
Tomb Raider (2018)
2018 | Action, Adventure
A tremendously energetic and fun video game spin-off.
In this #TimesUp year, reviewing a film like “Tomb Raider” is just asking for trouble! So where shall I start digging my shallow grave?

Let’s start with the video game… “Tomb Raider” is of course the original video game phenomenon that started in 1993, featuring Lara Croft: someone that teenagers across the land mastur…. did their homework alongside in bedrooms up and down the land. Beauty; athleticism; a fierce independence; unfeasibly large breasts; ridiculously impossible leaps: in this film reboot, Alicia Vikander’s Lara differs from this ideal in just one respect. And before the Dora Milaje smash through my windows and drag me off for incarceration on Mysogeny Island, I’ll point out that this is OBVIOUSLY the least important omission! 🙂

For this film is good… very good.

“I’M SORRY….? WHAT DID YOU SAY DR BOB??” “But this is a film about a VIDEO GAME! … They are all uniformly s****e!”

Beauty, brains and talent: the GB Olympic team will likely be calling.
I know – I can barely bring myself to admit it. But this one really is good. Most of this is down to the reason I was looking forward so much to this one. Alicia Vikander (“Ex Machina“; “The Danish Girl“; “The Light Between Oceans“) is such a class act, and here she is so much more than just a one-dimensional action hero. She hurts, she mourns, she feels guilt, she’s vulnerable. And it’s all there on her face. Great acting skill. She also kicks ass like no woman on film since Emily Blunt in “Edge of Tomorrow“!

Don’t you just hate it when you drop a bag of flour in your kitchen?
The story by Evan Daugherty and Geneva Robertson-Dworet (with Alastair Siddons adding to the screenplay) rockets off in great style with a “fox and hounds” bike chase around the City of London which is brilliantly done and sets up Croft’s character with the minimum of tedious back story. Switch to the main story and Lara is struggling to face the fact that her father (Dominic West, “Money Monster“), seen in flashback, is finally dead after going off to Japan seven years previously in search of the legendary tomb of ancient sorceress Queen Himiko. The Croft corp. COO (Kristin Scott Thomas, “Darkest Hour“) persuades Lara its time to sign the necessary papers, but on the verge of this act the lawyer Mr Yaffe (Derek Jacobi, “Murder on the Orient Express“) lets a significant cat out of the bag and sets Lara off on the trail of her long-dead father’s original mission.

In happier times. Daddy (Dominic West) goes off on yet another trip from Croft Manor.
It’s a rollercoaster ride that’s really well done. But I reckon the writers should have named Jeffrey Boam, George Lucas and Menno Meyjes as co-collaborators, for the film plagerises terribly from “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”. In two or three places, the similarities are shocking! As in the best of Lucas traditions though there are some breathtaking set-pieces, with the best of them staged at the top of a raging waterfall that’s just plane ridiculous! (Even if it plagerises blatantly from “The Lost World”!).

English and patient. Kristin Scott Thomas as the guiding hand at the Croft corporation.
The movie’s tremendous to look at too, with cinematography by George Richmond (“Kingsman“; “Eddie the Eagle“) and (aside from a dodgy helicopter effect) good special effect by Max Poolman (“District 9”) and his team.

My one criticism would be that Vogel – the chief villain, played by Walton Goggins (“The Hateful Eight“) – is rather too unremittingly evil to have two sweetly smiling young children in his desk photo. One can only hope he faces a nasty demise!

Never trust a guy with a beard. Walton Goggins, a bit over the top as the villain of the piece.
The film is directed by Norwegian director Roar Uthaug, in what looks to be his first “non-Norwegian” film. Roar by name; roar by nature! He does a great job. An early “summer blockbuster” actioner that gets two thumbs up from me. What a pleasant surprise!