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Movie Metropolis (309 KP) rated Noah (2014) in Movies
Jun 11, 2019
Biblical epics never seem to translate well from paper to the big screen. Mel Gibson’s 2004 misfire, The Passion of the Christ, showed just how difficult it was to turn promising source material into silver screen gold.
Now, 10 years on from that, Black Swan director Darren Aronofsky breathes new life into the biblical genre with his take on the classic ‘Noah’ tale. But can his sixth attempt behind the camera reverse the ailing genre’s fortunes?
Unfortunately, the answer is no. From lacklustre special effects to dreadful acting, Aronofsky’s biblical epic fails from start to finish, with only a few key scenes lifting it above The Passion of the Christ.
Noah follows the story of the titular hero played by Russell Crowe as he sets out on a mission given to him by the ‘Creator’ to rid the world of its evil and to start afresh. Jennifer Connelly plays Noah’s wife Naameh and Ray Winstone portrays his arch nemesis, Tubal-cain.
The story is like the tale we all know, but on steroids. Gone is the subtlety of the bibleNoah-poster version and in its place is a stark environmental message as Noah tells his family and those around him that humans have destroyed the planet and that we ourselves, must be destroyed. From stone angels sent to watch over the human race, to the addition of numerous characters, Noah rids the story of its depth in favour of poor special effects and anti-climatic battles. It’s a real shame as Aronofsky has proven himself to be utterly talented behind the lens.
The performances are also well-below what we expect from such gifted actors. Emma Watson’s take of Ila, Noah’s daughter-in-law is laughable at best; a world away from the talent we saw towards the end of the Harry Potter series. Jennifer Connelly is outstandingly poor and Russell Crowe seems to be on auto-pilot as he spouts meaningless drivel. Only Anthony Hopkins leaves his fine reputation in tact as Methuselah, though he is in the film for less than 15 minutes.
Moreover, the best and most memorable part from the bible story, the animals, is completely misguided. Not only are they playing second fiddle to the ridiculous rivalry between Noah and Ray Winstone’s idiotic villain, they are rendered in such poor CGI, you never truly believe that they are there. The elephants and snakes in particular are very shoddy.
Thankfully all is not lost. Being a Darren Aronofsky film, Noah is a beautifully shot film. The cinematography is outstanding with stunning vistas of a huge variety of landscapes and the inclusion of an exciting Genesis featurette in the latter half of the picture are real highlights.
At 138 minutes Noah is a true bum-number and there’ll be lots of shuffling about in your seat as you struggle to digest each and every part of information the film shoves down your throat.
Unfortunately, a promising marketing campaign and some good trailers mask a film which never rises above average. The special effects really needed much more work and the acting is very poor. Only a few stand-out scenes stop it from falling below The Passion of the Christ as another biblical turkey.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2014/04/14/noah-review/
Now, 10 years on from that, Black Swan director Darren Aronofsky breathes new life into the biblical genre with his take on the classic ‘Noah’ tale. But can his sixth attempt behind the camera reverse the ailing genre’s fortunes?
Unfortunately, the answer is no. From lacklustre special effects to dreadful acting, Aronofsky’s biblical epic fails from start to finish, with only a few key scenes lifting it above The Passion of the Christ.
Noah follows the story of the titular hero played by Russell Crowe as he sets out on a mission given to him by the ‘Creator’ to rid the world of its evil and to start afresh. Jennifer Connelly plays Noah’s wife Naameh and Ray Winstone portrays his arch nemesis, Tubal-cain.
The story is like the tale we all know, but on steroids. Gone is the subtlety of the bibleNoah-poster version and in its place is a stark environmental message as Noah tells his family and those around him that humans have destroyed the planet and that we ourselves, must be destroyed. From stone angels sent to watch over the human race, to the addition of numerous characters, Noah rids the story of its depth in favour of poor special effects and anti-climatic battles. It’s a real shame as Aronofsky has proven himself to be utterly talented behind the lens.
The performances are also well-below what we expect from such gifted actors. Emma Watson’s take of Ila, Noah’s daughter-in-law is laughable at best; a world away from the talent we saw towards the end of the Harry Potter series. Jennifer Connelly is outstandingly poor and Russell Crowe seems to be on auto-pilot as he spouts meaningless drivel. Only Anthony Hopkins leaves his fine reputation in tact as Methuselah, though he is in the film for less than 15 minutes.
Moreover, the best and most memorable part from the bible story, the animals, is completely misguided. Not only are they playing second fiddle to the ridiculous rivalry between Noah and Ray Winstone’s idiotic villain, they are rendered in such poor CGI, you never truly believe that they are there. The elephants and snakes in particular are very shoddy.
Thankfully all is not lost. Being a Darren Aronofsky film, Noah is a beautifully shot film. The cinematography is outstanding with stunning vistas of a huge variety of landscapes and the inclusion of an exciting Genesis featurette in the latter half of the picture are real highlights.
At 138 minutes Noah is a true bum-number and there’ll be lots of shuffling about in your seat as you struggle to digest each and every part of information the film shoves down your throat.
Unfortunately, a promising marketing campaign and some good trailers mask a film which never rises above average. The special effects really needed much more work and the acting is very poor. Only a few stand-out scenes stop it from falling below The Passion of the Christ as another biblical turkey.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2014/04/14/noah-review/
BankofMarquis (1832 KP) rated Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) in Movies
May 29, 2018
Surprised by how much I enjoyed this film
I have a confession to make - I was surprised by how much I enjoyed SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY.
Going into this film, I felt that this film had a few things going against it:
1). Trying to replace Harrison Ford with another actor in the title role.
2). Bringing in Ron Howard to "rescue" the film.
3). Overcoming Star Wars "fatigue" from the less than enthusiastic response to THE LAST JEDI.
And you know what? It has overcome these things - and more!
Set sometime between Episode 3 and Episode 4 (and before ROGUE ONE), SOLO is, in essence, the origin story of everyone's favorite rascal, but is told in an interesting way - as a heist/caper film.
Credit must be given to writers Lawrence Kasdan (THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK) and his son Jonathan Kasdan. They have developed a fast paced, twisty, back and forth con-man film disguised as a sci-fi film set long ago in a galaxy far, far away.
Bringing in Howard was a good, competent move, for he moves the plot along sprightly and the special effects-laden chase sequences are tightly paced - if unspectacular - but they help move the action along - and doesn't get in the way. There is no "special effects for special effects-sake" sequences and Howard's workmanlike approach works well. He lets his strong cast strut on the screen with their strong characters which is wise of him for he inherited a film sprinkled with very good talent who looked like they were having fun with their characters.
Start with Woody Harrelson as Solo's mentor. He provides a solid anchor to the proceedings. As does Emilia Clarke as Solo's best friend/love interest. She more than holds her own with Solo and Harrelson - and is as much a "rascal" as the other two.. Also providing a good turn is Paul Bettany as the main villain.
As with most Star Wars films, the "non-human" continue to be interesting. Starting with Lady Proxima (voiced by Linda Hunt), followed by Rio Durant (voiced by Jon Favreau) and the robot L3 (voiced by Phoebe Waller-Bridge), all were interesting characters, rendered well.
And...of course...there is Chewbacca (performed by Joonas Suotamo). I was thrilled to revisit the friendship between "Chewie" and Han. It was really easy to forget that you were watching a person in a Wookie costume. There is a rumor of a Chewbacca movie - and I'm all for it.
Speaking of "friendships" - this film also explores the beginnings of the HAN SOLO/LANDO CALRISSIAN friendships - and Donald Glover almost steals the movie in his portrayal of Lando. He has the swagger, debonair (and slightly feminine) attitude of the character down.
Which leads me to Alden Ehrenreich's performance as Solo. I have mentioned Harrelson...and Clarke...and Glover...and Bettany...and the CG characters...and Chewbacca...and this leaves Ehreneich's portrayal somewhat in the background. Don't get me wrong, he does a GOOD job as Solo, but - I feel - he just lacks the charisma and screen presence of the rest of them, and, of course, of Harrison Ford. He grew on me as the film progressed, but I felt he faded into the background at times - where he should have been up front.
But...this is a quibble...in a film who's energy, pace and characters really worked for me - more than I thought it would.
Letter Grade: A-
8 (out of 10) stars and you can take that to the Bank (ofMarquis)
Going into this film, I felt that this film had a few things going against it:
1). Trying to replace Harrison Ford with another actor in the title role.
2). Bringing in Ron Howard to "rescue" the film.
3). Overcoming Star Wars "fatigue" from the less than enthusiastic response to THE LAST JEDI.
And you know what? It has overcome these things - and more!
Set sometime between Episode 3 and Episode 4 (and before ROGUE ONE), SOLO is, in essence, the origin story of everyone's favorite rascal, but is told in an interesting way - as a heist/caper film.
Credit must be given to writers Lawrence Kasdan (THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK) and his son Jonathan Kasdan. They have developed a fast paced, twisty, back and forth con-man film disguised as a sci-fi film set long ago in a galaxy far, far away.
Bringing in Howard was a good, competent move, for he moves the plot along sprightly and the special effects-laden chase sequences are tightly paced - if unspectacular - but they help move the action along - and doesn't get in the way. There is no "special effects for special effects-sake" sequences and Howard's workmanlike approach works well. He lets his strong cast strut on the screen with their strong characters which is wise of him for he inherited a film sprinkled with very good talent who looked like they were having fun with their characters.
Start with Woody Harrelson as Solo's mentor. He provides a solid anchor to the proceedings. As does Emilia Clarke as Solo's best friend/love interest. She more than holds her own with Solo and Harrelson - and is as much a "rascal" as the other two.. Also providing a good turn is Paul Bettany as the main villain.
As with most Star Wars films, the "non-human" continue to be interesting. Starting with Lady Proxima (voiced by Linda Hunt), followed by Rio Durant (voiced by Jon Favreau) and the robot L3 (voiced by Phoebe Waller-Bridge), all were interesting characters, rendered well.
And...of course...there is Chewbacca (performed by Joonas Suotamo). I was thrilled to revisit the friendship between "Chewie" and Han. It was really easy to forget that you were watching a person in a Wookie costume. There is a rumor of a Chewbacca movie - and I'm all for it.
Speaking of "friendships" - this film also explores the beginnings of the HAN SOLO/LANDO CALRISSIAN friendships - and Donald Glover almost steals the movie in his portrayal of Lando. He has the swagger, debonair (and slightly feminine) attitude of the character down.
Which leads me to Alden Ehrenreich's performance as Solo. I have mentioned Harrelson...and Clarke...and Glover...and Bettany...and the CG characters...and Chewbacca...and this leaves Ehreneich's portrayal somewhat in the background. Don't get me wrong, he does a GOOD job as Solo, but - I feel - he just lacks the charisma and screen presence of the rest of them, and, of course, of Harrison Ford. He grew on me as the film progressed, but I felt he faded into the background at times - where he should have been up front.
But...this is a quibble...in a film who's energy, pace and characters really worked for me - more than I thought it would.
Letter Grade: A-
8 (out of 10) stars and you can take that to the Bank (ofMarquis)
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Zombie Strippers (2008) in Movies
Jun 19, 2019
In the not too distant future where George Bush has somehow fluked his way into another term as president, a chemo-virus has broken out in a small town. The Z-Squad is sent in to eliminate the problem, but a member of the squad gets infected and flees. He manages to to find refuge in an underground strip club, which has also been deemed illegal by the government of the future. The soldier takes a turn for the worse and finds himself a member of the undead only to take the club's biggest star as his first victim. She continues to dance and the odd thing is...the customers love it. Zombie strippers are the new sex appeal. As the money piles up, so do the victims. Will the chemo-virus continue to spread and if so...how will it be contained?
First of all, don't be confused. This is movie is one of the cheesiest films ever. I almost turned it off several times and I honestly can't tell you why I'm reviewing this thing. The sad thing is it's like a trainwreck in slow motion. You can't look away from it once you start watching and you have to see not only how it's going to end, but who's going to make it out alive. Not that you really care, but you wonder whose really deemed worthy of surviving said trainwreck. It is ludicrous, ridiculous, and absurd...but it's amusing as hell.
How ridiculous is it? Let's see...strippers being turned into zombies and becoming super strippers, zombies being sexy, having the most stereotypical Mexican janitor...ever, the casts biggest names being Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund, special effects you'd find in Xena: Warrior Princess, a Christian stripping for her nanna, Jenna Jameson shooting ping pong balls and pool balls out her...well...I'll let you see that for yourself, angry dragons, and foamy chewbaccas...the list goes on and on. I'm sure I missed so many more. The sad thing is that despite being the cheesiest of cheese and being as bad as it is, there's still a few good things buried under the cheese. It's kind of like an enchilada made with cheap cheese. All the cheap stuff is on the outside, but there's some good stuff on the inside. The most obvious being that there's a lot of nudity in this, which is good because it'll probably be one of the only things that'll keep anyone watching. Robert Englund's over the top performance as the germophobic strip club owner is pretty memorable. Also, the make-up effects are surprisingly good at times. The special effects are horrid, but the make-up is actually better than you think it'd be.
In a film as ridiculously cheesy as this, I can't blame anyone if they turn it off before it reaches the half hour mark. The thing is though if you stick with it, it's actually enjoyable because it's so bad. It's cheesy, it's amusing, the acting is so bad that you'll be quoting it for days, the plot is pointless, and it even has a weak attempt at a twist in the ending! My point is that it's a bad film and I'm not defending it, but if you manage to sit through the whole thing...you may find yourself enjoying parts of it like I did.
First of all, don't be confused. This is movie is one of the cheesiest films ever. I almost turned it off several times and I honestly can't tell you why I'm reviewing this thing. The sad thing is it's like a trainwreck in slow motion. You can't look away from it once you start watching and you have to see not only how it's going to end, but who's going to make it out alive. Not that you really care, but you wonder whose really deemed worthy of surviving said trainwreck. It is ludicrous, ridiculous, and absurd...but it's amusing as hell.
How ridiculous is it? Let's see...strippers being turned into zombies and becoming super strippers, zombies being sexy, having the most stereotypical Mexican janitor...ever, the casts biggest names being Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund, special effects you'd find in Xena: Warrior Princess, a Christian stripping for her nanna, Jenna Jameson shooting ping pong balls and pool balls out her...well...I'll let you see that for yourself, angry dragons, and foamy chewbaccas...the list goes on and on. I'm sure I missed so many more. The sad thing is that despite being the cheesiest of cheese and being as bad as it is, there's still a few good things buried under the cheese. It's kind of like an enchilada made with cheap cheese. All the cheap stuff is on the outside, but there's some good stuff on the inside. The most obvious being that there's a lot of nudity in this, which is good because it'll probably be one of the only things that'll keep anyone watching. Robert Englund's over the top performance as the germophobic strip club owner is pretty memorable. Also, the make-up effects are surprisingly good at times. The special effects are horrid, but the make-up is actually better than you think it'd be.
In a film as ridiculously cheesy as this, I can't blame anyone if they turn it off before it reaches the half hour mark. The thing is though if you stick with it, it's actually enjoyable because it's so bad. It's cheesy, it's amusing, the acting is so bad that you'll be quoting it for days, the plot is pointless, and it even has a weak attempt at a twist in the ending! My point is that it's a bad film and I'm not defending it, but if you manage to sit through the whole thing...you may find yourself enjoying parts of it like I did.
Darren (1599 KP) rated Black Christmas (2019) in Movies
Dec 13, 2019
Verdict: All Over the Place
Story: Black Christmas starts as we meet our sorority sisters Riley (Poots), Kris (Shannon), Marty (Donoghue), Jesse (O’Grady), Helena (Adams) and Fran (Morris) who are preparing for the Christmas break, with Riley having history with the alpha sorority, which never got dealt with by the authorities.
They decide to get revenge through song and soon find themselves getting picked of by a masked killer, where they need to find themselves fighting to survive.
Thoughts on Black Christmas
Characters – Riley is previously a victim of sexual assault by one of the rich college students, 3-years-later she is still dealing with the effects, being the big sister to the rest of the sisters and is one of the few that worries about the locations of the other girls. Kris has been on a crusade to get equality, she spends most of the time preaching about how men have it easy and mostly gets annoying. Marty is another member of the sorority and like Jesse, we don’t learn much more about any of the other girls.
Performances – Imogen Poots is a talent actress when she is given something to work with, she is the strongest of a weak story, where nobody comes off like they are giving a good acting performance.
Story – The story is meant to be following a group of sorority sisters that get picked off and attacked by a masked killer over the Christmas break. Well, where do we start to break this story down, first thing, this isn’t any sort of remake or sequel to either movie seen before, it uses the location of the house and one look at a death, don’t think this is a remake. Secondly, we spend more time trying to get the message over about men thinking they can walk all over women and the only good men in life are nervous wrecks around the women. Thirdly, this is meant to be a horror and doesn’t even know what tone to stick to. Finally, the trailer gives away everything. This is a social message that uses an existing horror franchise to try and get a point over, without using any sort of subtitle approach.
Horror/Mystery – The horror in this film is almost non-excitant, it tries to use the slow slasher traits early on, which show glimpses, only to go, ‘you know what, we want to do an action horror now’ by the end. The mystery is also poor, because we get zero potential suspects and the only person it could be is revealed in the trailer.
Settings – The college location is fine, though it is the weird college I have ever seen.
Special Effects – When it comes to the effects, we get basic horror ones, sadly, the film decides to hide away from showing any actual gore, even though the injuries are designed to show it.
Scene of the Movie – Nate grabs an axe.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – The girls leave a party at what they say is midnight, we cut to one that left early and it is suddenly 10.45, seriously can people not tell the time?
Final Thoughts – This is a very bad social message horror that spends more time banging you over the head with the message, than actually giving us a coherent story or any scare.
Overall: Social Message, without a scare.
Story: Black Christmas starts as we meet our sorority sisters Riley (Poots), Kris (Shannon), Marty (Donoghue), Jesse (O’Grady), Helena (Adams) and Fran (Morris) who are preparing for the Christmas break, with Riley having history with the alpha sorority, which never got dealt with by the authorities.
They decide to get revenge through song and soon find themselves getting picked of by a masked killer, where they need to find themselves fighting to survive.
Thoughts on Black Christmas
Characters – Riley is previously a victim of sexual assault by one of the rich college students, 3-years-later she is still dealing with the effects, being the big sister to the rest of the sisters and is one of the few that worries about the locations of the other girls. Kris has been on a crusade to get equality, she spends most of the time preaching about how men have it easy and mostly gets annoying. Marty is another member of the sorority and like Jesse, we don’t learn much more about any of the other girls.
Performances – Imogen Poots is a talent actress when she is given something to work with, she is the strongest of a weak story, where nobody comes off like they are giving a good acting performance.
Story – The story is meant to be following a group of sorority sisters that get picked off and attacked by a masked killer over the Christmas break. Well, where do we start to break this story down, first thing, this isn’t any sort of remake or sequel to either movie seen before, it uses the location of the house and one look at a death, don’t think this is a remake. Secondly, we spend more time trying to get the message over about men thinking they can walk all over women and the only good men in life are nervous wrecks around the women. Thirdly, this is meant to be a horror and doesn’t even know what tone to stick to. Finally, the trailer gives away everything. This is a social message that uses an existing horror franchise to try and get a point over, without using any sort of subtitle approach.
Horror/Mystery – The horror in this film is almost non-excitant, it tries to use the slow slasher traits early on, which show glimpses, only to go, ‘you know what, we want to do an action horror now’ by the end. The mystery is also poor, because we get zero potential suspects and the only person it could be is revealed in the trailer.
Settings – The college location is fine, though it is the weird college I have ever seen.
Special Effects – When it comes to the effects, we get basic horror ones, sadly, the film decides to hide away from showing any actual gore, even though the injuries are designed to show it.
Scene of the Movie – Nate grabs an axe.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – The girls leave a party at what they say is midnight, we cut to one that left early and it is suddenly 10.45, seriously can people not tell the time?
Final Thoughts – This is a very bad social message horror that spends more time banging you over the head with the message, than actually giving us a coherent story or any scare.
Overall: Social Message, without a scare.
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Sarah (7800 KP) rated Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight (2020) in Movies
Nov 13, 2020
Condemnable for the dubbing alone
Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight is a Polish horror film about a group of technology dependent youths visiting an offline summer camp who are terrorised by a danger lurking in the woods.
The film follows a small group centred around Zosia (Julia Wieniawa), as they head out from the camp on a 3 day trek into the woods and encounter some very unfriendly locals. I’m afraid that from the very start, there’s nothing about this film that is particularly original. Pretty much every classic slasher horror is noticeably referenced here, from Friday the 13th to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and everything in between. It even drifts into sci-fi at one point. Some might say this is a homage to these films, but for me it was just a blatant copy. From the hillbilly bad guys in wooden cabins to the use of a machete, it all just felt so unoriginal. There was nothing at all in this that didn’t remind me of another, much better film. And that’s not even taking into account all of the clichéd horror movie tropes that are thrown in throughout - I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve seen dismembered deer/wildlife and phone batteries that are conveniently dying to name but a few, and Nobody Sleeps in the Woods tonight can’t seem to avoid these.
Despite this, there are some (very few) positives. The score is surprisingly atmospheric and dramatic, and works so well to build some much needed tension. The practical special effects, at least in the death scenes, are also good and there’s a pretty decent amount of gore. However this is pretty much the only good things I can say about this film. Whilst the death effects might be good, the creature/enemy effects are severely lacking and they look very cheap and second rate. It doesn’t help that their characters are rather silly and have no real purpose other than to kill. And even their murdering appears to be nonsensical and sporadic – for instance in one scene killing a character who’s outside yet completely ignoring those in tents a mere metres away. The youths don’t fare any better when it comes to characterisation either. They are your usual slasher movie group and aside from Zosia none have any real depth or back story, and for the most part they don’t live enough for you to care anyway.
But even considering all of the above, by far the worst crime of this film is the fact that it’s dubbed. Dubbing is one of my personal pet peeves. I cannot abide watching anything where the sound doesn’t sync with actors mouths moving, especially when the dubbing isn’t intended as tongue in cheek. And worse still, Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight features the most cringeworthy dubbing I’ve ever heard, with some very stereotypical American voiceovers that are made worse by the cheesy script that tries to shoehorn in as many geeky pop cultures references that it can find. Within 10 minutes I’d had enough and I do wonder if this film could’ve been much more bearable has it just been subtitled instead.
Dubbing aside, this film is still pretty poor and riddled with so many clichés that you can barely discern any truly original ideas. If you want to watch a horror film like this, you’d be better off watching the classic originals.
The film follows a small group centred around Zosia (Julia Wieniawa), as they head out from the camp on a 3 day trek into the woods and encounter some very unfriendly locals. I’m afraid that from the very start, there’s nothing about this film that is particularly original. Pretty much every classic slasher horror is noticeably referenced here, from Friday the 13th to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and everything in between. It even drifts into sci-fi at one point. Some might say this is a homage to these films, but for me it was just a blatant copy. From the hillbilly bad guys in wooden cabins to the use of a machete, it all just felt so unoriginal. There was nothing at all in this that didn’t remind me of another, much better film. And that’s not even taking into account all of the clichéd horror movie tropes that are thrown in throughout - I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve seen dismembered deer/wildlife and phone batteries that are conveniently dying to name but a few, and Nobody Sleeps in the Woods tonight can’t seem to avoid these.
Despite this, there are some (very few) positives. The score is surprisingly atmospheric and dramatic, and works so well to build some much needed tension. The practical special effects, at least in the death scenes, are also good and there’s a pretty decent amount of gore. However this is pretty much the only good things I can say about this film. Whilst the death effects might be good, the creature/enemy effects are severely lacking and they look very cheap and second rate. It doesn’t help that their characters are rather silly and have no real purpose other than to kill. And even their murdering appears to be nonsensical and sporadic – for instance in one scene killing a character who’s outside yet completely ignoring those in tents a mere metres away. The youths don’t fare any better when it comes to characterisation either. They are your usual slasher movie group and aside from Zosia none have any real depth or back story, and for the most part they don’t live enough for you to care anyway.
But even considering all of the above, by far the worst crime of this film is the fact that it’s dubbed. Dubbing is one of my personal pet peeves. I cannot abide watching anything where the sound doesn’t sync with actors mouths moving, especially when the dubbing isn’t intended as tongue in cheek. And worse still, Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight features the most cringeworthy dubbing I’ve ever heard, with some very stereotypical American voiceovers that are made worse by the cheesy script that tries to shoehorn in as many geeky pop cultures references that it can find. Within 10 minutes I’d had enough and I do wonder if this film could’ve been much more bearable has it just been subtitled instead.
Dubbing aside, this film is still pretty poor and riddled with so many clichés that you can barely discern any truly original ideas. If you want to watch a horror film like this, you’d be better off watching the classic originals.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Honest Thief (2020) in Movies
Dec 3, 2020
Chemistry between Neeson and Walsh (1 more)
Great cinematography around a scenic Boston
As discussed in my One Mann's Movies review of "Cold Pursuit", Liam Neeson has had a rather rocky PR road of late. But - unlike Kevin Spacey - he is clearly not being put on the naughty step by Hollywood, since he is filming/announced for five other features at the time of writing. His latest release - "Honest Thief" - has Mark Williams directing and co-writing (with Steve Allrich), and sees Neeson back on VERY familiar territory in an exciting and sometimes violent thriller.
The nice concept behind the story sees Tom (Liam Neeson) as a hugely successful bank robber meeting the love of his life in Annie (Kate Walsh) and committing to jack it all in for love. Furthermore, not wishing to have to live with the deception and guilt of his hidden life, he determines to hand himself over to the FBI, along with the $9 million stolen cash, in return for a lenient sentence.
There's a problem though: he's about the fifteenth person calling the FBI claiming to be the "In and Out burgler", so no-one wants to take him seriously. Boston area chief Sam Baker (Robert Patrick - the "Terminator" cop!) and his deputy Meyers (Jeffrey Donovan) casually put it on the "to-do" pile of agents Nivens (Jai Courtney) and Hall (Anthony Ramos).
The best laid plans run off the rails in a big way though when Nivens and Hall investigate and find that Tom is the real deal.
The concept here works nicely for a thriller, but the rest of the script is so formulaic that it's fairly and squarely a 'park your brain in the foyer' movie. For several of the actions and motives going on here, suspension of disbelief was required . Even given the limited competition in 2020, the script is in no way going to trouble the Academy.
All that being said, Mark Williams has put together a tight and well-executed movie, not outstaying its welcome at only 99 minutes long. Even with the 15 year age difference, Neeson and Walsh make a believable couple (given that Neeson looks pretty good for his 68 years) and the chemistry between them is great. And for a pretty 'small' movie, the supporting cast is pretty impressive.
Another standout for me was the cinematography by Shelly Johnson (whose had a busy year with the latest "Bill and Ted" and "Greyhound" under his belt). Boston - always a great movie location - looks spectacular, and the framing of the car chase action impressed me.
For me, there was only one really dodgy element of the movie: the special effects used in a house explosion/fire. The budget clearly didn't stretch to using practical effects! More work on Adobe "After Effects" (or similar) was required here!
Is Honest Thief worth seeing? - My expectations for this movie were pretty low. But I'm pleased to say that they were exceeded. Is it a masterpiece? No. Will I readily remember much about it in six month's time? No. But in rather a desert of new releases, this one was at least entertaining and I think it's worth the ticket price for a long overdue night out at the flicks. I'm willing to guess that my feelings were partially influenced by the sheer joy of being back in a cinema again... so I will temper my rating perhaps by a star here.
(For the full graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies here - https://rb.gy/9kcnr5. Thanks.)
The nice concept behind the story sees Tom (Liam Neeson) as a hugely successful bank robber meeting the love of his life in Annie (Kate Walsh) and committing to jack it all in for love. Furthermore, not wishing to have to live with the deception and guilt of his hidden life, he determines to hand himself over to the FBI, along with the $9 million stolen cash, in return for a lenient sentence.
There's a problem though: he's about the fifteenth person calling the FBI claiming to be the "In and Out burgler", so no-one wants to take him seriously. Boston area chief Sam Baker (Robert Patrick - the "Terminator" cop!) and his deputy Meyers (Jeffrey Donovan) casually put it on the "to-do" pile of agents Nivens (Jai Courtney) and Hall (Anthony Ramos).
The best laid plans run off the rails in a big way though when Nivens and Hall investigate and find that Tom is the real deal.
The concept here works nicely for a thriller, but the rest of the script is so formulaic that it's fairly and squarely a 'park your brain in the foyer' movie. For several of the actions and motives going on here, suspension of disbelief was required . Even given the limited competition in 2020, the script is in no way going to trouble the Academy.
All that being said, Mark Williams has put together a tight and well-executed movie, not outstaying its welcome at only 99 minutes long. Even with the 15 year age difference, Neeson and Walsh make a believable couple (given that Neeson looks pretty good for his 68 years) and the chemistry between them is great. And for a pretty 'small' movie, the supporting cast is pretty impressive.
Another standout for me was the cinematography by Shelly Johnson (whose had a busy year with the latest "Bill and Ted" and "Greyhound" under his belt). Boston - always a great movie location - looks spectacular, and the framing of the car chase action impressed me.
For me, there was only one really dodgy element of the movie: the special effects used in a house explosion/fire. The budget clearly didn't stretch to using practical effects! More work on Adobe "After Effects" (or similar) was required here!
Is Honest Thief worth seeing? - My expectations for this movie were pretty low. But I'm pleased to say that they were exceeded. Is it a masterpiece? No. Will I readily remember much about it in six month's time? No. But in rather a desert of new releases, this one was at least entertaining and I think it's worth the ticket price for a long overdue night out at the flicks. I'm willing to guess that my feelings were partially influenced by the sheer joy of being back in a cinema again... so I will temper my rating perhaps by a star here.
(For the full graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies here - https://rb.gy/9kcnr5. Thanks.)
Darren (1599 KP) rated Clownado (2019) in Movies
Sep 2, 2019
Thoughts on Clownado
Characters – Big Ronnie is the abusive husband and circus performer that killed Savanna’s lover and forced her into an embarrassing and humiliating performance for his show. After he becomes cursed, along with his fellow performers, he gets caught in the position of being able to transport through tornadoes, where they look to kill anyone and everyone. Savanna is the wife of Big Ronnie, she is trying to leave him, only to find her plan shattered and herself forced into performing in his circus, she puts the curse on them with a friend before going on the run, only for the circus performers not to leave her alone. Hunter is a trucker who picks us Dion, he knows the town well and is willing to do a good deed to help a stranger or a friend. Dion is the black Elvis impersonator who gets questioned about his look by everyone he meets, he helps along the way in the battle against the killer clowns.
Performances – The performances in this film are wildly over the top, which only helps with the tone of the film, John O’Hare as the leader of the clowns goes full evil in his performance, while Rachel Lagen shows just how much of a victim she is. When it comes to the rest of the cast, everybody knows who they are playing through this film.
Story – The story here follows a vengeful clown and his circus performers that use tornadoes to transport around the world in search for the woman that put the curse on them, as they look to pile up the body count, while everybody else is looking for a way to stop their evil once and for all. First thing is first, if you liked Sharknado, you will understand how to watch a film with this tone, you can’t take anything you see in this story seriously, but you aren’t meant to, we get a gimmick storyline, which does everything it needs to, to make you laugh at certain moments that are bonkers, that is designed to embrace this. We do get the idea of strangers working together, with a full range of colourful characters, as well as having plenty of bloodshed along the way, giving this story a fun grindhouse feel at times too.
Comedy/Horror – The comedy in this film comes from the over the top style of the kills and Big Ronnie’s actions, the horror comes from the bloodshed, with the clowns being over powered and will to kill with any means.
Settings – The film is set in a small town, which usually sees people pass through it, most characters know each other or have dealt with people behaving the same way, which shows us just how they will come together to look to survive the clownado.
Special Effects – The effects in the film are blood splatter heavy, they do tend to be extremely close up on the wounds which does add to the effects of shock value of the damage caused by the clowns.
Scene of the Movie – The first clownado.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – While filled with blood, the close ups of the body damage, sometimes, hide away from the reaction on the victims face.
Final Thoughts – This is a truly over the top idea, that like Sharknado works to bring one of the most popular horror figures, clowns to a new way to haunt people.
Overall: Purely Fun Horror Comedy.
Characters – Big Ronnie is the abusive husband and circus performer that killed Savanna’s lover and forced her into an embarrassing and humiliating performance for his show. After he becomes cursed, along with his fellow performers, he gets caught in the position of being able to transport through tornadoes, where they look to kill anyone and everyone. Savanna is the wife of Big Ronnie, she is trying to leave him, only to find her plan shattered and herself forced into performing in his circus, she puts the curse on them with a friend before going on the run, only for the circus performers not to leave her alone. Hunter is a trucker who picks us Dion, he knows the town well and is willing to do a good deed to help a stranger or a friend. Dion is the black Elvis impersonator who gets questioned about his look by everyone he meets, he helps along the way in the battle against the killer clowns.
Performances – The performances in this film are wildly over the top, which only helps with the tone of the film, John O’Hare as the leader of the clowns goes full evil in his performance, while Rachel Lagen shows just how much of a victim she is. When it comes to the rest of the cast, everybody knows who they are playing through this film.
Story – The story here follows a vengeful clown and his circus performers that use tornadoes to transport around the world in search for the woman that put the curse on them, as they look to pile up the body count, while everybody else is looking for a way to stop their evil once and for all. First thing is first, if you liked Sharknado, you will understand how to watch a film with this tone, you can’t take anything you see in this story seriously, but you aren’t meant to, we get a gimmick storyline, which does everything it needs to, to make you laugh at certain moments that are bonkers, that is designed to embrace this. We do get the idea of strangers working together, with a full range of colourful characters, as well as having plenty of bloodshed along the way, giving this story a fun grindhouse feel at times too.
Comedy/Horror – The comedy in this film comes from the over the top style of the kills and Big Ronnie’s actions, the horror comes from the bloodshed, with the clowns being over powered and will to kill with any means.
Settings – The film is set in a small town, which usually sees people pass through it, most characters know each other or have dealt with people behaving the same way, which shows us just how they will come together to look to survive the clownado.
Special Effects – The effects in the film are blood splatter heavy, they do tend to be extremely close up on the wounds which does add to the effects of shock value of the damage caused by the clowns.
Scene of the Movie – The first clownado.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – While filled with blood, the close ups of the body damage, sometimes, hide away from the reaction on the victims face.
Final Thoughts – This is a truly over the top idea, that like Sharknado works to bring one of the most popular horror figures, clowns to a new way to haunt people.
Overall: Purely Fun Horror Comedy.
Darren (1599 KP) rated Rabid (2019) in Movies
Oct 14, 2019
Characters – Rose is the quiet assistant to a fashion designer, she has her own ideas that she does want to see made, the girls come to her to get small adjustments, but the designer treats her like a carpet. She isn’t seen in the same light as the models and often keeps to herself. She gets involved in an accident which first sees her horribly disfigured and secondly lose her job, desperate to fix this, she turns to an experimental procedure which fixes everything, giving her a new lease for life and a taste for blood. Brad is one of the co-workers that does try to help Rose come out of her shell by inviting her to the party before the accident. Chelsea is the foster sister to Rose that has been working with her too, she is the one that opens up her home after the accident, helping her get back on her feet, supporting her through the treatment, not looking away like most the others in her life would.
Performances – Laura Vandervoort does give us a strong performance throughout, being able to balance the losing her mind and determined personality. Hanneke Talbot is strong too and the supportive friend, that does get to show the pushy personality her character has around Rose. Benjamin Hollingsworth does show us a strong friend or potential love interest in the film, while big names like Stephen McHattie and C.M. Punk make entertaining supporting appearance.
Story – The story here follows a young lady that sees her life turned upside down after an accident leaves her disfigured, only for an experiment procedure bringing out a new version of herself and an unwanted side effect along the way. This is a remake and one story that can remain similar is places, while bringing the social side of the film to new heights, the fashion world does make a wonderful backdrop for the story because it reflects the world that image needs to be fix with surgery. There are certain ways the story does feel weaker, that is mostly seeing how everything is spreading, which is important, but it doesn’t follow Rose, which is the important side of the story.
Horror/Sci-Fi – The horror side of the film comes from the real world situation that Rose goes through, with the accident before hitting the graphic violence of what is happening to Rose, which is also the sci-fi side of the film, the changes Rose goes through.
Settings – The film uses the fashion world as the main settings backdrop, it shows us just how important image is to Rose and the people close to her.
Special Effects – The complete highlight of this film comes from the practical effects, which look as graphic as they can, the injury suffered by Rose is one of the worst wounds you will see in this year’s horror films. We should give a shout out to the team (According to IMDB) Graham Chivers, Jeff Derushie, Anahita Loghmanifar, Emily O’Quinn and Omar Roessler
Scene of the Movie – The first reveal from the injury.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – We do move away from Rose, as the bigger problems spread around the city, we could have been given more fear from not seeing this, only hearing about it.
Final Thoughts – This is a practical effects masterclass in horror, it will use some of the best you will see this year even if the story is a modernised look at a cult classic.
Overall: Bloody graphic horror.
Performances – Laura Vandervoort does give us a strong performance throughout, being able to balance the losing her mind and determined personality. Hanneke Talbot is strong too and the supportive friend, that does get to show the pushy personality her character has around Rose. Benjamin Hollingsworth does show us a strong friend or potential love interest in the film, while big names like Stephen McHattie and C.M. Punk make entertaining supporting appearance.
Story – The story here follows a young lady that sees her life turned upside down after an accident leaves her disfigured, only for an experiment procedure bringing out a new version of herself and an unwanted side effect along the way. This is a remake and one story that can remain similar is places, while bringing the social side of the film to new heights, the fashion world does make a wonderful backdrop for the story because it reflects the world that image needs to be fix with surgery. There are certain ways the story does feel weaker, that is mostly seeing how everything is spreading, which is important, but it doesn’t follow Rose, which is the important side of the story.
Horror/Sci-Fi – The horror side of the film comes from the real world situation that Rose goes through, with the accident before hitting the graphic violence of what is happening to Rose, which is also the sci-fi side of the film, the changes Rose goes through.
Settings – The film uses the fashion world as the main settings backdrop, it shows us just how important image is to Rose and the people close to her.
Special Effects – The complete highlight of this film comes from the practical effects, which look as graphic as they can, the injury suffered by Rose is one of the worst wounds you will see in this year’s horror films. We should give a shout out to the team (According to IMDB) Graham Chivers, Jeff Derushie, Anahita Loghmanifar, Emily O’Quinn and Omar Roessler
Scene of the Movie – The first reveal from the injury.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – We do move away from Rose, as the bigger problems spread around the city, we could have been given more fear from not seeing this, only hearing about it.
Final Thoughts – This is a practical effects masterclass in horror, it will use some of the best you will see this year even if the story is a modernised look at a cult classic.
Overall: Bloody graphic horror.