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Timothy Mean and the Time Machine
Timothy Mean and the Time Machine
William A. E. Ford | 2019 | Children
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
What I liked most was the fun rhymes and locations (0 more)
If I absolutely had to pick something I did not like it would have to be the few lines that did not rhyme as they almost upset the flow of the passage (0 more)
Honest Review for Free Copy of Book
Contains spoilers, click to show
Timothy Mean and the Time Machine by William A. E. Ford was a wonderful little children's book. Marcelo Simonetti also created some amazing artwork for the book. The rhymes on just about every line would hold a child's attention and the interesting locations would inspire their imagination. The book is very short, with only about ten pages with text on them. This makes it great to prevent young readers from being intimidated by the size of the book. The book also goes through the days of the week, helping to teach children the names of the days in a fun way.

     Being bored one day, a young boy by the name of Timothy Mean decides to build a time machine. He visits Vikings and Pirates on their ships, causing them trouble. He visits his parents while they are children and in school themselves. At one point he even pulls the pants down on am astronaut. No trip in time would be complete without a trip into the future so that is exactly what he does. Timothy also likes playing pranks and being a trouble-maker at each location he visits.
 
     The locations visited and Timothy's pranks open up chances for discussion with parents and slightly older children. Parents could ask their children all kinds of things about the book. They could ask about if their child would want to walk on the moon, or what they think the future will be like. Parents could ask about what their child would do if they were a pirate or maybe what they think life was like in mid-evil times. Almost any children's book that encourages children to think and use their imagination is a good one.

     I loved the book. What I liked most were the fun rhymes and locations. If I absolutely had to pick something I did not like it would have to be the few lines that did not rhyme as they almost upset the flow of the passage. Though in all honesty, it is not a big issue and for a children's book writers are somewhat limited on their options to ensure a child would understand.

  Target readers for this book are anyone. As a mother, I would feel comfortable reading this book to my children no matter how young. I also feel like this would be a good book for a beginning reader, maybe a page a dag. For even more fun and value, parents could have their new readers read the page that goes with the current weekday. Slightly older children and more experienced readers could sit down and read the entire book on their own.

     I rate this book 4 out of 4 and plan on getting a physical copy for my own children (I reviewed a digital copy of the book). The book was wonderful and I hope it gains enough popularly that William A. E. Ford creates an entire line of rhyming Timothy Mean books

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Neon's Nerd Nexus (360 KP) rated The Invisible Man (2020) in Movies

Mar 3, 2020 (Updated Mar 3, 2020)  
The Invisible Man (2020)
The Invisible Man (2020)
2020 | Horror, Sci-Fi
See no evil
The Invisible Man is not a movie about an Invisible Man and certainly not the horror movie its being promoted as, instead its a tight little scifi esq thriller about domestic violence and the lingering effects domestic abuse can bring. Directed by the same director of the absolutley fantastic film Upgrade The invisible man could almost be a companion piece in a sense or even take place in the same world as Upgrade. From the titles its clear tension and impending dread is absolutely nailed here and as we look in on our lead character we can see just how extreme and unsafe her situation/relationship has become. Shes a victim trapped by an abusive and obsessive partner and before her life becomes any more at risk she escapes, but what she then leaves herself open to is a life of paraninoia, mental scaring, trauma, torture and living life in constant fear that her partner will come for her again. Shes never free from him and the way the film uses the invisible man as a metaphor is extremely clever as it shows her trying to live a normal life while clearly completely damaged by the hold one man had on her and by the echoes of the abuse she recived from him (in a sense its like hes still there constantly breathing over her shoulder). Everything is done well and the film really benefits from its slow pace as it helps us as a viewer really get invested into this character and shows just how damaged she has become from past events. Its score is phenomenal too helping ramp up the fear and tension with its intense futuristic droning and screeching. When violence hits its impactful, brutal and shocking as the long build up for it makes it seem like it comes out of nowhere preserving shock value perfectly. Fight scenes are filmed just like the ones from Upgrade full of energy/style and are just as unique/cool while making subtle nods to that film too. Acting is really good especially Elisabeth Moss watching her evolve as a character and in sense use the traits of the person she hates to become stronger is riviting and Eldis Hodge gives a great support role too. Its to bad at times the acting its hurt unnecessarily however by very exposition heavy dialog. If youve seen the trailer for this movie the invisible man reveal will have been spoilt for you as will too a crucial story point however overall as a film what Leigh Whannell has achieved here with this film is certainly very very brave and vastly diffrent from the way these films usually play out. Hes given a very clever and unique take on a character that has already been done to death in films and while it was predictable to a certain extent I applaud him for not going for the lazy done to death almost supernatural approach to this character. The Invisible man is a breath of fresh air amongst crap like fantasy island/the boy 2 and while by no means perfect its brave and realistic portrayals of the after effects of domestic abuse are shocking, well represented and tuff to watch at times. Invisible man is a pleasant surprise but will no doubt be far to slow and intelligent for those just looking for mere jump scares. That being said if this director keeps up this great track record I wouldnt be surprised if bigger film companies start seeking him out very soon.
  
Shatter the Night
Shatter the Night
Emily Littlejohn | 2020 | Law
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Cedar Valley Detective Gemma Monroe takes a break from trick-or-treating on Halloween night with her young daughter Grace and fiance Brody to visit a family friend, former Cedar Valley Judge Caleb Montgomery. Caleb tells Gemma that he's been receiving haunting anonymous threats on his life. As Gemma, Brody, and Grace return to the Halloween festivities, they hear a gigantic explosion. Gemma quickly learns it was Caleb's Mercedes. The well-respected judge is dead. This kicks off a twisted and grueling case for Gemma and her partner, Detective Finn Nowlin, leading them down the dark past of Cedar Valley. There are ties to former serial killer and the more Gemma and Finn dig, the more disturbing things they find. Even worse, it appears as if Caleb's killer might not be finished.


"We had summoned the evil to our town just as surely as if we'd mailed an invitation. We just didn't know it yet, and by the time we did know it, the damage would already be done. People would be killed. Lives would be changed."


This was such a good book, you guys. I've read the first three books in the Gemma Monroe series and really enjoyed them, and this was such an excellent addition to this series. To put it in perspective, I started reading this book about the same time as Michael Connelly's latest. I quickly realized that wouldn't work as they both involved plots with arson, and my small brain was getting addled. Well, I found this book so completely captivating that this was the one I kept with--and I mean, Connelly is my most favorite of authors. I have a cat named Harry Bosch. But there was just something about this one!

Gemma has become one of my favorite detectives. She's so easy to identify with. I love that she's a working mom, and that she can share her perspectives about working and motherhood with the reader. She even admits that she is probably a better mom because she works, but she still struggles being away from young Grace. She's human and fallible. We also see her make some strides in her personal growth in this book. She's awesome and tough, and I really like her.


"Since having my daughter, time seemed to speed up at incredible rates."


The plot in this one is wonderful. It's creepy and builds up suspense. I was completely captivated. I love a book that keeps me guessing, and Shatter The Night definitely did that. There are a lot of suspects, and it was really fun to try to figure out what was going on and who might be our bad "guy(s)." The book weaves in the town's legacy, intertwining the history and its elders, so to speak. So you have a past that features Caleb and his ancestors; the police and their history; even Gemma's family. I don't want to go deeper than that, but Littlejohn weaves it all together flawlessly.

Overall, this was a great read. Interesting story, wonderful characters (the recurring characters are the best--please live forever, Tilly Krinkle), and a strong female lead. What more can you ask for? Maybe it's time to name a cat Gemma Monroe. :) 4.5 stars.
  
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KalJ95 (25 KP) rated the PlayStation 4 version of Resident Evil 2 (Remake) in Video Games

Apr 2, 2020  
Resident Evil 2 (Remake)
Resident Evil 2 (Remake)
2019 | Horror
Pulsating and terrifying narrative. (2 more)
Unbelievable graphics.
A modern classic horror.
Shortness of campaign. (0 more)
Survival horror remaking at it's greatest.
I've always been aware of the impact Resident Evil has had on media, ever since I played the first, without my parents knowledge, back in 2001. I was shook to my core, terrified to the point of never wanting to return to horror video games ever again.

I did however play RE5 and RE6, both focusing more on Co-op play and venturing towards a more action oriented narrative. They were fun, if not slightly convoluted with characters and past stories which I had no knowledge about. So when a remake of RE2 was announced with a gruesome trailer, I was sold. I had no nostalgia towards the game, but this looked incredible.

RE2 Remake is astonishingly good. It's a non stop, adrenaline infusing trip through Racoon City, with pocket moments that range from terrifying, to explosive action, to the absolutely bonkers. It's a campy affair, and it benefits from often corny dialogue, to its characters dress sense during a pandemic.

RE2 shines by having the best visuals I've seen on a console game. The characters, locations and gore pop with flare, especially when you hit a zombie with a bullet to the head. Its gorgeous, and equally terrifying in measured balance. It dawned on me so heavily Capcom focused on the environments when Leon/Claire walked out into the rain. You can visibly see each rain drop hit their clothing, and the wetness begin to soak parts of them skin and hair. Its commendable to Capcom for making this remake look so perfect.

The over the shoulder perspective of the protagonists was the best choice for this remake, as it firmly puts the survival horror up another level. This game, most of the time, its bone chillingly unnerving. I constantly kept my wits about me, expecting numerous jumpscares, but the game worms into your head, laying a constant false sense of security at precise moments. That's where Mr X, AKA, the Tyrant comes in. The constant menace is the key to so much tention and heart pounding chases throughout the eight hour experience. Combine that tension with the fact he's practically indestructible, and you've got cocktail of a near perfect horror experience. My favourite aspect was of the overall experience was how the whole game mixes all elements of its gameplay so well. The combat require pinpoint accuracy, the puzzles require you to use your noggin often enough it doesn't become stale, and the looming threats don't ever become a frustrating summit, rather a learning curve I began to anticipate.

The narrative is excellent, albeit sometimes a little ridiculous. Its provides enough scares and gore to satisfy loving RE fans, and more than enough story for new fans to bite into. In my first playthrough, I knew nothing of Leon's decent into Racoon City's nightmare, and I'm all the more thankful for it. He's just a normal guy, having the worst day of his life, and that, in the strangest way I can possibly think of, make him so likeable and relatable. After just over eight hours, I completed my Leon playthrough, and wanted to see where his story goes next. It made me completely sure RE would be a franchise I will surely check out in the future. Queue my next choice in RE4.

RE2 Remake is now the standard that all remakes will have to contend with. Capcom has truly outdone themselves by creating a classic from the ground up.
  
Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016)
Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016)
2016 | Action, Family, Sci-Fi
6
5.8 (22 Ratings)
Movie Rating
As an Alice in Wonderland enthusiast, I was more than thrilled when Disney announced they were making Alice Through the Looking Glass, since the first film was visually stunning I went into watching the sequel with the same expectation that it would be rich in color and visuals. Visually it did not disappoint, with lavish costumes, and whimsical set design from beginning to end; the film was entertaining to watch. With returning characters such as Alice (Mia Wasikowska), The Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp), The Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter), and The White Queen (Anne Hathaway); the main story focuses on Alice trying to save the Hatter. With the citizens of Wonderland concerned for the Hatter’s wellbeing they rely on Alice to try to save the Hatter before it is too late, however Alice must race against Time (Sacha Baron Cohen) to try to learn what has happened to the Hatters family. Alice learns you can’t change the past but you can learn from it for the future; but will this knowledge help her save the Hatter or keep her stuck in the past?

 

 

Alice Through the Looking Glass mainly focuses on the friendship of Alice and the Hatter but also gives background history into the past of the Hatter, The Red Queen, and The White Queen. I found this really insightful and made it easier to get invested into the films plot points. I also found this film much more fast paced then the first film, literally about 10 minutes into the film Alice is jumping through the looking glass into Wonderland and right into the action. The newest addition to this film however is Time; who at first is given the main antagonist slot of the film, but as the story progresses that is not entirely the case. The film really shows good and evil are subjective in a sense, all while giving a good old fashion Disney happy ending.

 Tim Burton’s Alice Through the Looking Glass keeps the accomplished directors personal style while keeping the characters of Lewis Carroll’s novel noticeable. However, I will warn you, if you were wanting to see this and hoping it was just like the novel.

 

It’s not. It’s actually the furthest from the actual book Through the Looking-Glass. The only reason it should probably have this title is due to Alice walking through the looking glass to get to Wonderland, but story wise it has nothing in common story wise. Burton used heavy creative license in the film, and even added Time as a leading role and main plot point that’s not even in Carroll’s novel. While the film is visually stunning and the beloved characters help the audience get invested, the overall plot is somewhat lacking the whimsy that is known in Carroll’s story. While the first film tells the story of Carroll’s novel, the sequel is definitely a story of Burton’s creation. So overall I would say the film is decent; if you enjoyed the first one you should enjoy this one. However, for those who loved the novel and were hoping for an accurate adaptation, this might not be for you. For me personally as a lover of all things “Alice in Wonderland”; I enjoyed it visually, and the portrayal of characters was great, but I felt the story was lacking.
  
Into the Woods (2014)
Into the Woods (2014)
2014 | Family, Musical
For those seeking a big dose of magic this holiday season, Disney’s “Into the Woods” aims to deliver just that. Adapted to the silver screen from the original Broadway musical production by Stephen Sondheim, the plot intertwines several of the Grimm Brothers’ fairy tales to create one story.

At the center of the story is The Baker (James Corden) and The Baker’s Wife (Emily Blunt) who are desperate to break the curse, which keeps them from having a child. The Witch (Meryl Streep) who placed the curse weaves a devious web, entangling all of the characters in a tumultuous adventure.

Streep is terrifying and highly entertaining to watch in her role. Her vocal and facial expressions exude a character of pure evil.

Other characters incorporated into the story include Little Red Riding Hood (Lilla Crawford), Cinderella (Anna Kendrick), and Rapunzel (Mackenzie Mauzy), just to name a few.

Disney toned down several aspects of the original plot, which would not have been appropriate for children. However, the story still maintains a racy mix of seriousness and humor. Each scene highlights the absurdities of fairy tales only noticed by adults.

One scene which will have adults rolling with laughter is the sudden duet between Cinderella’s Prince (Chris Pine) and his brother, Rapunzel’s Prince (Billy Magnusson). They sing about the challenges of literally chasing the ladies of their desire and their refusal to acknowledge any possibility of rejection.

Certain scenes test the limits of appropriateness and are almost perverse, or perhaps even err on the side horror.

One example of this is the role of The Wolf (Johnny Depp). As he stalks Little Red Riding Hood through the forest he sings about how she is fresh, supple, and young. Through the lyrics and the choice to use a human in the role, rather than a CGI wolf, a strange glimmer of pedophilia surfaces. This is taken a step further when The Wolf reveals a jacket full of candy in his attempt to lure the child.

The element of horror enters the film in a scene where Cinderella’s Stepmother cuts the feet of the ugly stepsisters to try and force them into the glass slipper offered by the Prince. This is not graphically shown. However, it is implied as she waves around a knife and sings about it.

Despite a few of these adult twists, the film should be fun for the whole family to watch. Just keep in mind that, like the original tales, some short scenes may be a bit horrifying for young children.

As is tradition with fairy tales, the good comes with the bad. The moral messages of each fairy tale are combined into one larger message: One should be careful what they wish for, because in the grander scheme of life the ramifications of those wishes may be unforeseen.

It is also a visually stunning piece of work. Nothing comes off as overdone or cheesy. The tales truly come to life and transport viewers into a land of fantasy.

The majority of the film is very exciting and fast moving. That being said, the film is lengthy with a runtime of 124 minutes. Unfortunately, the last 30 minutes begins to drag on and feel tiring. This would have been an easy fix if perhaps the last few songs had been shortened, or the last thirty minutes was cut completely.

All in all, the film is a truly magical cinematic experience. I give “Into the Woods” 4 out of 5 stars.
  
Missionary (2014)
Missionary (2014)
2014 | Drama, Mystery
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Directed by Anthony DiBlasi (whom is no stranger to the horror genre) ‘Missionary’ stars Dawn Olivieri (Heroes, True Blood, House Of Lies, CSI, How I Met Your Mother, Stargate Atlantis, The Vampire Diaries, Entourage, American Hustle) as Katherine, a young single mother recently separated from her husband Ian portrayed by actor Kip Pardue (Remember The Titans, Driven, The Rules Of Attraction, Hostel: Part 3, Mad Men, House) who is struggling to work full time, go to school, and raise their son Kesley (Conner Christie). One afternoon while helping Kelsey practice before tryouts for the junior high football team they are visited buy two Mormon missionaries. One of the two, Elder Kevin Brock (Mitch Ryan) offers to help Kelsey practice thereby ‘bending the rules’ regarding Mormons and sports under the guise of hoping to convert Katherine and Kelsey to the Mormon faith. In reality, Kevin and Katherine become infatuated with each other despite their 10 year age difference and begin an affair which also seriously compromises what Katherine likes to refer to as ‘the rules in the Mormon handbook’. While Katherine sees this as only a ‘temporary’ yet passionate sexual relationship, Kevin becomes more and more obsessed not only with Katherine but becoming a father figure to her young son Kelsey and based upon ‘his interpretation’ of Mormon doctrine believes that Katherine and Kesley are the family he’s been seeking since he joined the Mormon and that they will become his ‘celestial family’. Eventually, Katherine decides that the relationship is not good for either of them and instead choose to reconcile with her husband Ian and attempts to quietly end her relationship with Kevin. Now obsessed and bordering on psychotic, Kevin begins to stalk Katherine and her son determined to make them his ‘family’ at any cost.

 

For a film that follows the blueprint for the classic slasher/stalker, I have to give it a great deal of credit.

The introduction of the ‘Mormon Component’ was an original idea that to the best of my knowledge no one had dared to utilize in a movie. Probably out of fear that it might anger the leadership and followers of the Mormon faith. This film did an exceptional job though of creating a ‘distance’ between the antagonist and the other characters in the movie who were Mormons so even those who are not familiar with the religion almost instantly know that Kevin is not a legitimate follower of the faith and that his actions are NOT those of an everyday follower of that faith. The casting of Dawn Olivieri, Connor Christie, and Kip Pardue as the Kingsmen family were spot on. They were truly believable as a struggling family that was going through rough times and trying to work through their difficulties only to be thwarted by a most unlikely circumstance in the form of a crazed stalker-type who twists his religious beliefs into justifying his violent and evil actions.

 

On a scale of 1 to 5 stars, I’d give this film 3 stars. The film may not win any awards with the exception being an excellent job on the part of the actors and crew. The film does follow a blueprint of sorts as mentioned earlier for a slasher/stalker film and combined with original components definitely deserves a place in the scary movie section. Definitely NOT one for the kids as the film contains violence, gore, and some partial nudity. I would include it in a movie marathon on a Friday or Saturday night with a group of friends and some popcorn.
  
Divergent (2014)
Divergent (2014)
2014 | Action, Sci-Fi
One Choice, decided your friends. One Choice, defines your beliefs. One Choice, determines your loyalties – Forever. ONCE CHOICE CAN TRANSFORM YOU”

Beatrice Prior lives in a futuristic version of Chicago wherein it is divided into five different distinct factions. Each faction is dedicated to following one single virtue. The first faction is Abnegation, known as the “stiffs” of the community. It was formed by those who blame selfishness for human nature’s errors; thereby eliminating anything that can be seen as being selfish. Dauntless was formed by those who blamed cowardice for society’s problems; thereby finding bravery by facing ones fears. Erudite- the “brains” of the operation. Run by those who blamed human ignorance for the faults of society. They formed Erudite as a way of eliminating ignorance and darkness from human minds. Amity- the “flower children” who dislike war, was formed in order to keep a peaceful society that would be free from conflict and sadness caused by wars and instigation. Candor- a faction formed by those who blame duplicity and deception, who believe that dishonesty is the key fault in human nature which began evil and war. There are also those who do not fit into any of the factions. Those people are called The Factionless and are people who are poor and live on the streets. There are few who possess the traits of all five factions. They are called The Divergent. Being a Divergent is considered extremely dangerous because their minds can not be controlled.

The only way to find out which faction one belongs to is by taking an aptitude test. It’s not until the ceremony that a person chooses to join a faction according to the test results. Beatrice doesn’t have the luxury of knowing which faction she belongs to because her test results came back as inconclusive meaning she is in fact a Divergent. She chooses to leave her mother and father behind in Abnegation and decides to join Dauntless while her brother is placed into Erudite. The family is torn apart without knowing her secret of being a Divergent. After she arrives into Dauntless she is forced to be brave by overcoming obstacles, finding love and making friends while finding herself in a war that tries to overthrow the government.

I was pleasantly surprised with how much action this film has. Without reading the books prior to screening the film, it is hard to say if the film follows closely to the book Honestly I did not have high hopes for the film and I’m not sure why other than its story being somewhat similar to The Hunger Games in all of its dystopian glory. I am glad to report that though the two stories are alike they are unique in their own way. One is not better than the other, they are just different and should not be misconstrued as being the same type of story. The acting is exceptional! The actors are perfect at portraying their characters. After being sucked in from beginning to end it not only left me wanting more but it left me wanting to know the characters more. I am left with wanting to read the series of books that much more!

“I feel like someone breathed new air into my lungs. I am not Abnegation. I am not Dauntless.
I am Divergent.”
  
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)
2011 | Action, Mystery
9
7.4 (17 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law return once again as Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows“. In this installment, a series of bombings across Europe has positioned the nations of the world on the brink of war. Holmes is convinced that there is a criminal mastermind behind the numerous, seemingly unrelated events and he believes it is renowned scholar James Moriarty (Jared Harris).

Watson, well-accustomed to Holmes’ eccentric and erratic behavior, is dubious of Holmes claims. Besides, Watson has his upcoming wedding to focus on, and only deigns to spend time with Holmes at the promise of a stag party at an upscale gentlemen’s club. While the bachelor party includes an entertaining Stephen Fry playing Holmes’ brother, Mycroft, Holmes has ulterior motives for taking Watson to this particular club. Early in the film, Holmes had cleverly intercepted a message from Irene Adler (Amy McAdams), that led him to a fortuneteller named Madam Simza Heron (Noomi Rapace), a woman Holmes believes has been targeted for death by Moriarty, who just happens to be working at the gentlemen’s club.

Eventually a meeting with Moriarty is arranged for Holmes. The two intellectuals spar with one another verbally in a civilized manner, with menacing undertones. Holmes isn’t able to convince Moriarty that Watson is no longer a partner in any of his endeavors and, Holmes is forced to take drastic measures to ensure the doctor and his new wife stay out of harm’s way. From Paris to Germany and other European locales, Holmes, Watson, and Simza and her gypsy friends race against time to uncover the diabolical plot that Moriarty has set for their demise in his quest to drive nations to war.

The film is an absolute delight and is a rare sequel that is even better than the previous film in the series. Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law have amazing chemistry with one another and their timing is absolutely perfect. The duo deftly mix action and comedy as well as the serious subject matter of the plot line and are utterly captivating and enjoyable to watch every step of the way. Rapace continues to impress in a much softer character than her Lisbeth Salandar role in the “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” Swedish trilogy. and is poised to become one of Hollywood’s new leading ladies.

Having become familiar with Harris’ work on the series Mad Men, I was delighted to see him expertly portray such a complex character as Moriarty: a gentleman scholar of impeccable upbringing and education who is also a twisted and evil genius. Harris plays Moriarty perfectly and never lets you forget the dark and sinister side of him without ever becoming a campy or cartoony vaudeville villain.

Guy Ritchie returns as director and lets his stars carry the film. The action has been ramped up this time around with some spectacular action sequences but the action never overshadows the character-driven story. The film was well-paced and an absolute thrill ride from beginning to end mixing fantastic action and some great humor for a very winning combination that is not to be missed. I am already looking forward to future outings of Holmes and Watson on the big screen as this was a truly enjoyable experience that shows you how action comedies are supposed to be made.
  
Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs Evil (2011)
Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs Evil (2011)
2011 | Animation, Comedy, Family
4
6.4 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Does anyone remember the original Hoodwinked movie? Nobody else does, either. Blue Yonder Films, the studio that brought you Doogal tries to pull another rabbit out of their hat by releasing a sequel to the twisted fairy-tale movie titled Hoodwinked Too: Hood vs. Evil. All of the original voice characters are present from the first film, except for Red (Anne Hathaway was replaced by Hayden Panettiere), and Kirk the Woodsman (Jim Belushi , who was replaced by Martin Short).

It doesn’t really matter if you’ve seen the first movie, as a storybook opening catches the audience up on the current situation. A short intro introduces the HEA (Happily Ever After Agency; shouldn’t that be HEAA?) staking out a Wicked Witch who is holding Hansel & Gretel (Bill Hader & Amy Poehler) hostage in her Gingerbread House. The main protagonist, Red Riding Hood (Panettiere) is off on training, and her former partner, The Big Bad Wolf (Patrick Warburton) is handling the situation with Granny (Glen Close).

Of course, the seemingly simple scenario changes to a conspiracy which has actually been masterminded by the hostages, in order to drag a secret from Granny. Granny is a part of the Sisterhood of Kung-Fu Bakers (the “Hood” in the film’s title), and possesses the recipe of a secret weapon known as the Super Truffle, which supposedly makes those who consume it invincible. The movie has a small army of all-star cast members, and each one makes the most of their parts.

Unfortunately nearly everything else in the film misses the mark, from the writing, direction, and even the animation. Many other computer-animated movies today feel a lot more organic, and although the visuals of this sequel are better than the first there are times when character movements appear more programmed than motion-captured. Most of the jokes in the movie require one to have lived during the 70s or 80s, and nearly all of them are groaners. Jokes like “Dog is your co-pilot”, and a backwards sign where “dyslexic” is clearly visible are just too obscure even for the average adult. Sure, this is a family movie that should have something for everyone, but the preview theater I was in had a large mix of children and their parents, and there was only one time when the audience laughed as a whole.

There are a few running gags that did receive a positive audience response. Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong play two of the Three Little Pigs (hitmen for hire), and they received most of the genuine laughs. Another running gag was of a banjo-playing goat, who is constantly being fallen upon by other characters. This gag did get some chuckles, particularly from children, but was an obvious rip-off of “Scrat” from the Ice Age series, but just didn’t have the same charm. Most animated films either have amazing visuals, humor or heart, and the best ones blend these essentials together. Unfortunately none of these elements are present in Hoodwinked Too to make the audience feel for Red’s story, and the semi-warm victory at the end is simply “meh”.

You won’t be missing anything by skipping this film at the box office. It might be worth a rental when it comes out on DVD, but you and your family can still live a full and satisfying life without it.