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Survive: Escape from Atlantis!
Survive: Escape from Atlantis!
1982 | Adventure, Animals, Bluff, Nautical
I have never been on a sinking anything. Sure, I have flipped over kayaks, and paddle-boards, and anything else that requires me to balance on top of water. But I cannot imagine the terror of being on an island that just… sinks into the deep. Oh also running out of room and having to swim to safe land. Oh also while sharks, whales, and sea monsters are chasing me. You know what? Maybe I’m cool with being located in the Midwest. I’ll just play this game and live vicariously through the esceeples (escaping meeples? I need a handbook for these -eeple terms).

Survive: Escape from Atlantis! (which I now will call Survive) is an competitive adventure game featuring action points, grid movement, secret unit deployment, dice rolls, and lots of take-that. And little boats. It also can destroy friendships and ruin evenings. Play at your own risk.

DISCLAIMER: There are several expansions to this game, but we are not reviewing them at this time. We ARE including the 5-6 player mini expansion, however. Should we review the others in the future we will either update this review or post a link to the new material here. Also, I do not intend to detail every rule in the book, but give our readers an idea of how the game plays and our thoughts on it. -T


To setup a game of Survive, each player will choose a color and take into their supply all the meeples of that color and two boats. Place all the terrain tiles randomly (and face down) within the bolded line on the board to create the central island. Place out the sea serpents on the sea serpent spots as menacingly as possible. Players then take turns placing their numbered meeples on terrain tiles until all meeples have been placed, and their boateeples on any water space near the island they wish. Keep aside the shark, whale, and dolphin meeples for later. Give the die to the first player and you are ready to play.
On a player’s turn they will 1. Play any tiles from their hand, 2. Move meeples, 3. Remove terrain a tile, 4. Roll the die and move creatures. At the beginning of the game nobody will have any tiles in hand to play, so skip this step if there are no tiles in hand. On subsequent turns players may have collected tiles as a result of the #3 action, and now is the time to play those. Typically they are beneficial for the active player or detrimental to the opponents. Next, the active player will move their meeples in any combination three total board hexes. This can be done with one or more meeples on land or in the water. There are movement restrictions that I will not cover here. After movement, the active player will remove one of the terrain tiles with the lowest elevation (sand, forest, then mountain tiles). The player flips over the tile and will play it immediately if it shows an arrow, or keeps it in hand if it shows a hand icon. Finally, the active player will roll the red die and move creatures per the movement table printed on the board.

Creature movement creates the tension in the game (as if fighting over the boats wasn’t enough). You see, when sharks enter the board and are moved, they are hungry for swimmer meeples (obv). Whales are hungry(?) for boats and will destroy them but fling the meeples aboard into the water to become swimmers. Sea serpents don’t care. They will eat swimmers and manned boats… but they’re the slowest movers. So consider that.


Play continues in this fashion until the either all meeples have been removed from the play grid, or a player flips over the volcano mountain tile and ends the game. Any meeples who have made it to the safety of the outer islands are worth the VP printed on their bottoms. Wait, not the butts. The bottom of the meeples. Which I guess are the feet.
Components. To reiterate, in case it was missed, we are reviewing the 2010 Stronghold edition. There is a newer version, and it seems to look a little better but plays the same. However, I love the components of this version too. The meeples are fine, the creatures are cool, the varying thicknesses of the terrain tiles makes for an interesting mini-3D look, and the board is great without being too busy and distracting. I have absolutely no issues with these components and think they are super.

Now, you may have read in my intro that this game may ruin friendships and the evening, and I really am not joking about this. I have played this so many times where at least one person becomes completely angered by the chomping of the shark or the horrible movement of the sea serpent adjacent to their boat. It’s just a game, and it’s inevitable in this one – your meeples will get eaten. It’s gonna happen! When I teach this now I try to make that apparent right away because it is then not viewed as absolutely treachery when it happens to newer players. Should you be playing with sensitive gamers, please instruct them early that it WILL happen or you’re gonna have a bad time.

However, this game is great! I love it now as much as I ever have. It’s an older horse for me, but one of which I will never tire. I can and love to play it with new gamers, especially the ones that are hoping to join the inner circle. If you can hang through a game of Survive without being angered and taking it all in stride, you are welcome at my table ANY time. That said, as you can see by our ratings, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a mighty and well-deserved 21 / 24. If you enjoy games that upset your players and want a cool theme on it, check out Survive: Escape from Atlantis!
  
Crazier Eights: Pantheon
Crazier Eights: Pantheon
2020 | Card Game, Mythology
DISCLAIMER: We have previously previewed Crazier Eights: Olympus, and this preview has much of the same verbiage as the two games share most things. Near the end of the preview are my thoughts about the differences in Pantheon vs Olympus. We will also be previewing Crazier Eights: Camelot, and that will also detail the differences between the other sets we have tried.

War. Old Maid. Go Fish. Crazy Eights. These are classic card games we probably all grew up playing. There have been many re-themes and new difficulty layers spread upon them to make them even more interesting. While UNO certainly has cornered the market on the Crazy Eights base, we have a new contender: Crazier Eights. Recoculous has published several versions of this card game with different themes: Camelot, Avalon, One Thousand & One Nights, Olympus, and Shahrzad. Today we are taking a preview of Crazier Eights: Pantheon.

You HAVE played Crazy Eights right? The card game where you attempt to be the first to exhaust your hand of cards, but you can only play down if you can match the suit or number on top of the discard pile? And if you can’t, you throw down an 8 as a wild and call the color to be played next? Well there you have the easy rules. Crazier Eights: Pantheon (which I will from here call C8P) holds basically the same rule-set with a few new mechanics and a theme. The win condition is still the same: be the first to exhaust your hand of cards, but to win you will need to play your hand strategically against your opponents.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T

To setup, shuffle the large deck of cards and place the deck in the middle of the table. Flip the top card to begin the discard pile and dictate the first card play. Deal each player seven cards and you are ready to begin!

The turn structure is familiar: check for any “start of turn” effects and apply them, draw a card, play and/or discard a card, then resolve any “end of turn” effects. The deck is comprised of Events and Assets in different colors (suits) and numbers like in a typical deck of playing cards. After checking and resolving start of turn effects on Asset cards in your personal tableau, you must draw a card from the deck. This is where C8P strays from OG Crazy Eights a bit. You may play a card from your hand (Assets and Events) and discard a card to the discard pile (matching the suit/number/or an Eight), or simply play a card from your hand without discarding. Cards played from your hand can be Event cards that are played, resolved, and then discarded to the bottom of the discard pile, or an Asset card that is played to your tableau that cause chain reactions or other abilities on future turns. Next, resolve any end of turn effects from Assets in your tableau before the next player begins their turn.

Play continues in this fashion until one player has rid themselves of their hand and is crowned the Master of the Pantheon! Or at least, the winner of the game.

Components. This game is a box full of cards. The cards are good. The layout makes sense, and the art on the faces of the cards remind me of very classic art depicting ancient Grecian scenes. I am no art historian, so I do not know if they are existing art pieces or new ones crafted for this game, but either way, they are a joy to behold… if you can spend the time appreciating the art instead of tracking what cards you need to play and what effects you can chain together (that was me). Extra points to the Recoculous team for associating symbols with the different suit colors for our colorblind friends. This is something that unfortunately goes unaddressed far too often.

This implementation is the second Crazier Eights we have had the chance to try, and I can say that we really enjoyed our plays of it (we played Olympus first and will be playing Camelot soon). The game comes with many interesting and varied effects to craft an ingenious strategy, and the art is stellar. Beware of playing with AP-prone gamers, as there is a lot going on and it is more than just a skinned Crazy Eights.

The Pantheon set, specifically, seems to contain more cards that allow players to steal Assets from other players, and also cards that allow players to discard more than one card each turn. These are very interesting adjustments to our first experience of Crazier Eights, and from what we were told, Pantheon can be played as a standalone OR as an expansion to throw into any other set. There are less cards in Pantheon than in Olympus or Camelot (and the other base sets I assume), but the gameplay is the same, and is super quick.

Now having played this family of games several times, I can say that it is my favorite Crazy Eights derivative and certainly worthy of a look. If your game collection is sorely lacking in ancient Greek-themed card games, or if you want a hybrid game of old school rules with interesting twists, then do consider purchasing this or one of its predecessors.

PS – Don’t worry if, while you are playing, you have all your Assets stolen or destroyed. I have won the game with zero Assets in front of me while opponents have had eight, ironically. Assets are great, but you still need to shed your hand.
  
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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Terror in Meeple City in Tabletop Games

Aug 6, 2019 (Updated Sep 23, 2021)  
Terror in Meeple City
Terror in Meeple City
2013 | Action, Horror
I don’t know about you, but one of my guilty pleasures is monster movies. Godzilla, King Kong, even the Jurassic Park franchise – if there are giant creatures terrorizing the world, chances are I’m going to love it. So when I heard of Terror in Meeple City (formerly known as Rampage, RIP), I knew I had to give it a try. Is the chance to embody one of these great monsters and wreak havoc on an innocent city as exciting as it seems? Or will your lack of dexterous ability result in a rampage? (See what I did there?)

Terror in Meeple City is a dexterity game of area movement and set collection in which players are trying to amass the most end-game Victory Points by devouring meeples, collecting building tiles, teeth, and by successfully completing their Character cards. To begin, setup the board as described in the rulebook, constructing buildings and placing meeples and vehicles accordingly. Each player receives a screen, Body (monster), and Paws (disc) in their chosen color, placing the Paws on the starting area closest to them. Players receive 4 Teeth tokens and are dealt a Character card, Power card, and Secret Superpower card. The Character and Power cards are visible to all players, and are permanent throughout the game – providing special abilities or scoring conditions for the end of the game. The Secret Superpower card is secret (duh) and revealed only when you are ready to use it – it is a one-time use in the game, and then discarded. Select a starting player, and the game is ready to begin!

On your turn, you will perform 2 of the following actions: Move, Demolish, Toss a Vehicle, or Breathe. You can perform the same action twice on your turn if you want! To Move, you will first take the Body of your monster off of the Paws disc. Using your finger, you will flick the Paws disc on the board, hopefully to end up where you wanted it! After a successful flick, put your Body back on the Paws. To Demolish, your Paws must be touching the sidewalk surrounding one of the buildings in the city. If that is the case, you can try to demolish that building – by picking up your Body, holding it over the appropriate building, and dropping it! In order to Toss a Vehicle, your monster must be located in the same neighborhood (area of the board) as a vehicle. Pick up the chosen vehicle, place it on top of your monster, and flick it! And finally, you can Breathe – place your chin on top of your monster, inhale, and then blow as hard as you can. While performing these actions, there may be some collateral damage, that could be beneficial or detrimental to you! If you knock down another monster on your turn, collect one of their Teeth and put it behind your screen. If after your action, there is a building tile with nothing on it (meeples, monsters, etc.) then you collect that tile behind your screen as well.


Once you have taken your 2 actions, it is time to Chow Down – eat as many accessible meeples in your same neighborhood as you have Teeth tokens left. Devoured meeples go into your stomach (behind the player screen). If at any point during your turn, any meeples end up fleeing the city (knocked off the board), they will be added, in order, to the Runaway Meeple board. Once a line on this board is filled, the active player suffers the negative consequence – so be careful not to scare off too many yummy meeple morsels! The game continues in this fashion until it ends in one of two ways. Either the last building tile is collected, everyone takes one last turn, and then VP are tallied. Or the final line of the Runaway Meeple board is filled, causing the player who filled it to lose, while everyone else counts up their VP. VP are earned for any Teeth collected, building tiles consumed, sets of meeples devoured, and any points earned from your Character card. The player with the most VP is the winner and is the greatest monster of the game!
So I know that sounds kind of chaotic – and at times it can be. But it is a light-hearted and silly game that engages all involved. The simplicity of the mechanics (flicking/blowing) are countered by the strategy required for success. Yes, by all means, go on a crazy rampage – but the goal is end-game VP, so how can you use all these moving components to your advantage? The strategy is there, with enough luck/randomness from a dexterity stand-point that it keeps the gameplay interesting. And it is just plain fun to play! Getting up to move around the board for a better angle, knocking over opponents accidentally (or on purpose!), and sending components flying across the board makes for an entertaining and engaging game. That being said, unless you are incredibly dextrous and can perfectly execute your desired actions, be prepared for some frustration when you whiff big on a flick.


Let’s talk components for a minute. They are pretty good in this game! The board and cardboard building tiles are all pretty sturdy, which is really necessary in a game where the components can take quite a beating. The wooden meeples and monster parts are thick and high quality as well! I take great pride in keeping my games in good condition, and even this one has withstood the test of time and plays. So, good production quality all around, if you ask me!
Is Terror in Meeple City my favorite game? No. But it’s one that I’m glad to have in my collection. It works well in so many situations – a gateway game, a light-hearted filler game, a game to get everyone up and moving, and a game that can be played with younger gamers as well. Although it’s not really a brain-burner or a game of high-level strategy, it’s one that still makes for a good time. Purple Phoenix Games gives it a 7 / 12. Give it a try if you’re itching to smash some stuff!
  
Avengers: Endgame (2019)
Avengers: Endgame (2019)
2019 | Sci-Fi, Thriller
The final curtain.
So… thanks again to work and family commitments, I’ve spent 7 days dodging social media to arrive at my showing of “Endgame” spoiler free… and was successful in doing so! It is of course impossible to write just about anything on this film without dropping spoilers. So I will keep this first part of the review short, but add some footnotes (indexed with <#> symbols) to a “spoiler section” below the trailer video. Proceed at your peril if you haven’t yet seen it!

The Plot
The MCU has delivered an impressively well-connected movie series. In the case of Thanos, this is a story-arc that started in the mid-credit “monkey” at the end of 2012’s “The Avengers” and, at the conclusion of “Avengers: Infinity War”, saw half the universe’s population drift away – Voldemort-style – into grey ash. This, of course, also wiped out half of our heroes (good trivia question for future years: who was the first we saw drift away? Answer below* ). This included Spider-Man (Tom Holland); Dr Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch); Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman); Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson); half of the remaining Guardians; The Wasp (Evangeline Lilly) and Dr Pym (Michael Douglas). Oblivious to all of this is Ant Man (Paul Rudd), still stranded in the ‘quantum realm’ following the demise of his colleagues, and with no one to flick the ‘return’ switch.

After some early action, Endgame’s story revolves around a desperate attempt by the remaining Avengers, led by Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and a ‘retired’ Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jnr) to undo the undoable. Can they succeed against all the odds? (With a new Spider-Man film due out in the summer, I’ll give you a guess!). Of more relevance perhaps is whether the team can stay unscathed from their encounter with the scheming and massively powerful Thanos (Josh Brolin)?

Thoughtful
The film will not be to every fan’s taste. After the virtually non-stop rip-roaring action of “Infinity War”, “Endgame” takes a far more contemplative approach to its first hour.

The film starts with a devastating prologue, and a great lesson in statistics: that you need a decent sized population to guarantee getting a 50:50 split! There is also a very surprising twist in the first 15 minutes or so that I didn’t see coming AT ALL.

But then things settle down into a far more sombre section of the film: short on action; long on character development. The world is grieving for its loss, unable to move on past the non-stop counselling sessions that everyone is getting. This first hour was, for me, by far, my favourite part of the film. Seeing how the characters we know and love have been impacted – some for better rather than for worse – was terrific. Mark Ruffalo’s Hulk (with a rather glib plot-point) takes on an hilarious new aspect; and Chris Hemsworth adds hugely comedic value as Thor, setting up in Scotland a “New Asgard” settlement in uncharacteristically laid-back fashion.

Cast
As an ensemble cast, everyone plays their parts extremely well. But it is just the breadth of the cast that astounds in this film: just about everyone who is anyone in the Marvel Universe – at least, those who are still alive (alive!) and not dead (dead!) – pop up for an appearance! This is great fun with, in one particular case, the opportunity to try some more rejuvenation of an old timer as previously done with Samuel L. Jackson in “Captain Marvel”.

Inevitably, some of these appearances are overly brief, and characters that I wanted to see developed more in this film (particularly Brie Larson’s Captain Marvel) get very little screen time. Drax (Dave Bautista) and Mantis (Pom Klementieff) barely get a single line each. So it will depend on where your loyalties lie as to whether you are satisfied with the coverage or not. (I personally find Chris Evans‘ Captain America a bit of a po-faced bore, so I wasn’t keen on the amount of screen time he had).

Stan Lee again gets another cameo in the bag before his demise: will this actually be his last live one?

Overall view
I enjoyed this movie. It could obviously NEVER live up to the over-hyped expectations of the fan base. But as a cinematic spectacle, for me, it delivered on its billing as a blockbuster finale, but one filled with a degree of nuance I was not expecting. The problem with the way that the plot have been structured (no spoilers – <#>) is that it is easy to pick holes in the storyline. Indeed, some dramatic options (that to me seemed obvious ones to ‘mine’) were left ‘unmined’ <##>; others were left inexplicably hanging <###>.

I suspect the reason for some of this is that the initial cut of this film probably ran to 5 hours rather than the – still bladder-testing – 3 hours as released. There were probably a bunch of scenes left on the cutting room floor that might allow things to make more sense in the extended BluRay release.

It’s at times slow, but for me never dull. It does suffer from one significant flaw though: the “Return of the King” disease. It doesn’t know when to quit. There was a natural MCU arc to follow and a perfect time at which to end it: but the directors (the Russo Brothers, Anthony Russo and Joe Russo) kept adding additional scenes that detracted from the natural ending <####>.

Above all, unlike I think all but one film in MCU history, there is NO “MONKEY” in the end credits: either mid-credit or end-credit! So, after the long title crawl (and some rather odd choices for end-title music by Alan Silvestri), if you are not to look bloody stupid as the lights come up, and face a storm of derision from your partner, then leave after the dramatic roll-call sequence of the film’s stars!

(*BTW, the answer to the trivia question is, I believe, Bucky.)
  
Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
2018 | Family
A valiant attempt to recreate a masterpiece.
How do you repaint a masterpiece: the Mona Lisa of children’s fantasy cinema? Some would say “You shouldn’t try”.

As I’ve said before, Mary Poppins was the first film I saw when it came out (or soon afterwards) at a very impressionable age…. I was said to have bawled my eyes out with “THE MAGIC NANNY IS GOING AWAY!!” as Julie Andrews floated off! So as my last cinema trip of 2018 I went to see this sequel, 54 years after the original, with a sense of dread. I’m relieved to say that although the film has its flaws it’s by no means the disaster I envisaged.

The plot
It’s a fairly lightweight story. Now all grown up, young Michael from the original film (Ben Whishaw) has his own family. His troubles though come not singly but in battalions since not only is he grieving a recent loss but he is also about to be evicted from 17 Cherry Tree Lane. Help is at hand in that his father, George Banks, had shares with the Fidelity Fiduciary Bank. But despite their best efforts neither he, his sister Jane (Emily Mortimer) nor their chirpy “strike a light” lamplighter friend Jack (Lin-Manuel Miranda) can find the all-important share certificates. With the deadline from bank manager Wilkins (Colin Firth) approaching, it’s fortuitous that Mary Poppins (Emily Blunt) drops in to look after the Banks children – John (Nathanael Saleh), Anabel (Pixie Davies) and Georgie (Joel Dawson) – in her own inimitable fashion.

Songs that are more Meh-ry Poppins
I know musical taste is very personal. My biggest problem with the film though was that the songs by Marc Shaiman were, to me, on the lacklustre side. Only one jumped out and struck me: the jaunty vaudeville number “A Cover is not the Book”. Elsewhere they were – to me – unmemorable and nowhere near as catchy as those of “The Greatest Showman“. (What amplified this for me was having some of the classic Sherman-brothers themes woven into the soundtrack that just made me realise what I was missing!) Richard M Sherman – now 90 – was credited with “Music Consultant” but I wonder how much input he actually had?

The other flaws
Another issue I had with the film was that it just tried WAAYYY too hard to tick off the key attributes of the original:

‘Mary in the mirror’ – check
‘Bottomless carpet bag’ – check
‘Initial fun in the nursery’ – check
‘Quirky trip to a cartoon land’ – check
‘Dance on the ceiling with a quirky relative’ – check
‘Chirpy chimney sweeps’ – check (“Er… Mr Marshall… we couldn’t get chimney sweeps… will lamplighters do?” “Yeah, good enough”)
Another thing that struck me about the film – particularly as a film aimed at kids – is just how long it is. At 2 hours and 10 minutes it’s a bladder-testing experience for adults let alone younger children. (It’s worth noting that this is still 9 minutes shorter than the original, but back in the 60’s we had FAR fewer options to be stimulated by entertainment and our attention spans were – I think – much longer as a result!)

What it does get right
But with this whinging aside, the film does get a number of things spit-spot on.

Emily Blunt is near perfection as Poppins. (In the interests of balance my wife found her bizarrely clipped accent very grating, but I suspect P.L. Travers would have approved!). Broadway star Lin-Manuel Miranda also does a good job as Jack, although you wonder whether the ‘society of cockney actors’ must again be in a big grump about the casting! I found Emily Mortimer just delightful as the grown-up Jane, although Ben Whishaw‘s Michael didn’t particularly connect with me.

Almost unrecognisable was David Warner as the now wheelchair-bound Admiral Boom. His first mate is none other than Jim Norton of “Father Ted” Bishop Brennan fame (thanks to my daughter Jenn for pointing that one out)!

Also watch out (I’d largely missed it before I realised!) for a nice pavement cameo by Karen Dotrice, the original Jane, asking directions to number 19 Cherry Tree Lane.

What the film also gets right is to implement the old-school animation of the “Jolly Holidays” segment of the original. That’s a really smart move. Filmed at Shepperton Studios in London, this is once again a great advert for Britain’s film technicians. The London sets and the costumes (by the great Sandy Powell) are just superb.

Some cameo cherries on the cake
Finally, the aces in the hole are the two cameos near the end of the film. And they would have been lovely surprises as well since neither name appears in the opening credits. It’s therefore a CRYING SHAME that they chose to let the cat out of the bag in the trailer (BLOODY MARKETING EXECS!). In case you haven’t seen the trailer, I won’t spoil it for you here. But as a magical movie experience the first of those cameos moved me close to tears. He also delivers a hum-dinger of a plot twist that is a genuinely welcome crossover from the first film.

Final Thoughts
Rob Marshall directs, and with a pretty impossible task he delivers an end-product that, while it didn’t completely thrill me, did well not to trash my delicate hopes and dreams either. Having just listened to Kermode and Mayo’s review (and it seems that Mark Kermode places Poppins on a similar pedestal to me) the songs (and therefore the “Place Where Lost Things Go” song) just didn’t resonate with me in the same way, and so, unlike Kermode, I mentally never bridged the gap to safely enjoying it.

But what we all think is secondary. Because if some three or four year old out there gets a similarly lifelong love of the cinema by watching this, then that’s all that matters.
  
Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
2016 | Sci-Fi
Why Will Smith is a wise, wise man.
I’m catching up on a few of the big films I missed during 2016. But Roland Emmerich has a lot to answer for with this one. Twenty years after Independence Day smashed the summer box office of 1996, the aliens are back: bigger and badder than ever. Steven Hiller (Will Smith) is no longer on the scene but, to give Emmerich a little credit, he has gathered an impressive array of the original stars to return led by Hiller’s wife Jasmine (Vivica Fox), President Whitmore (Bill Pullman), Dr Okun (Brent Spiner), David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) and his dad (Judd Hirsch). The great Robert Loggia even turns up, who played the original General Grey, looking like he is about to expire (which unfortunately he did late last year, and the film is in memorial to him). All of them have weathered over the years apart from Judd Hirsch who must have a picture in his attic.

Playing the new generation (Hiller’s young son Dylan and the president’s daughter Patricia) are Jessie Usher and the comely Maika Monroe respectively, the latter having the pout of a young Jessica Alba and showing promise. Rounding off the young ‘uns, and playing an enormously irritating hunk/hero and his sidekick buddy are Jake (Liam Hemsworth – yes, younger brother of Chris) and Floyd (Nicolas Wright). And with the obvious needs of summer blockbusters to appeal to the ravenous Chinese market there is also Shanghai-born Angelababy as a young hotshot pilot and Chin Han as her uncle, moonbase commander Commander Jiang.

It’s hard to know where to start with criticism of this film. It’s like you’ve caught someone desecrating the grave of a dearly departed relative. The plot is ludicrous…. Uh oh…here comes another One Mann’s Movies Showcase Theatre….
The scene: onboard the alien craft high above central Asia
DRONE K’FAALL: “The use of the anti-gravity weapon worked a treat your Majesty. We have ripped up Shanghai and dumped in from a great height on London! Take that Queenie! All hail our weapons superiority! I take it we should just ‘rinse and repeat’ around the world to wipe them all out? ”
QUEEN ALIEN BEE: “No K’Fall. Let’s land in the Atlantic and then go fight them one-on-one with our little ships in the desert near Area 51.”
DRONE K’FALL: “B-b-b-but your Majesty, with our gravity weapon we could eliminate all threat, drill out the earth’s core and find what we came here for in perfect safety!”.
QUEEN ALIEN BEE: “No… that’s just what they’ll be expecting us to do…”
I thought the Oscar for the dumbest aliens of the year was a shoe-in for the ones who chose a similar tactic in “The 5th Wave” – but no… we have another contender for the crown. This ridiculous London-based CGI sequence – a virtual re-shoot of the ridiculous CGI sequence in Emmerich’s “2012” where John Cusack is fleeing by plane a collapsing Los Angeles – is mitigated only by Goldblum’s witty comment about them “Always going for the landmarks” – the best line in the film.

Elsewhere, the story and screenplay – by an army of writers (never a good sign) – is risible and an insult to intelligence, alien or otherwise. The ludicrous plot points go on and on…
Why on earth is the single landed alien craft from 1996 owned by an African warlord? If mankind have ‘benefited’ so much from the alien technology that must surely have been through the UN-dismantling of that ship?
There seems to be no logical connection between the “visions” (stolen from “Close Encounters”) and the alien craft. The visions might have well have been of the alien’s last shopping list (“six cans of Kraag beans; one bottle of Vollufi ale; … “);
The alien craft is big enough to span the WHOLE Atlantic when it lands, but – who would believe it? – comes to a stop with its edge in Washington JUST ENOUGH to dip the White House flag to a jaunty angle. #cringe;
The alien ship – apparently open to the elements – allows our heroic hunks to wander around without spacesuits;

Breathless… or not. Jessie T Usher and Liam Hemsworth (foreground) not dying of asphyxiation or cold.
At one point it looked like our curvaceous heroine was going to defeat the alien queen in good ol’ Wild West fashion armed only with a handgun (but no, my head could come out of my hands again);
And don’t even get me started on the opening “excitement” about propping up a collapsing supergun on the moon with a spaceship. Gerry Anderson would be spinning in his grave.
The dialogue is little better. The original “Independence Day” was probably most famous for two scenes: the impressive destruction of the White House and Bill Paxton’s ludicrously corny “We will not go quietly into the night” speech. Here trying to go one better we have not just one version of this but two with William Fichner’s General Adams chipping one in from the rough before Paxton delivers an impromptu hanger speech that is toe-curlingly excruciating.

Much of the acting is of the “I really don’t want to be here but it’s good for the pension” variety with Paxton and Goldblum going through the motions and Charlotte Gainsborough being horribly miscast as a French anthropologist running around the world on the trail of Pokemon Go characters… or symbols… or something. Only Brent Spiner and Judd Hirsch really get into their stride with likeably over-the-top performances.

Goldblum and Charlotte Gainsborough. A less likely historic romantic attachment its difficult to imagine.

If this was a standalone story it might scrape a double-Fad… but as it so horrendously sullies a classic movie experience it incurs my cinematic wrath. It might have made Roland Emmer-richer (sic)…. but my recommendation would be to get a big bag of popcorn, the original 1996 movie on DVD and enjoy. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
  
Death Valley
Death Valley
2021 | Card Game
This past summer, 2021, I had the opportunity to visit Las Vegas for the first time in my life. The casinos, the strip, the lights – everything was over-the-top and pretty impressive. But my trip took me beyond the city borders, as I got to visit several national parks and see some unique landmarks as well. One of which being Death Valley National Park. They’re not lying with the name – during my trip there, the temperature climbed to over 110°F. Does this pocket-sized game about the real-life location do justice to the scorching scenery? Keep reading to find out!

Death Valley is a game for 1-2 players in which you are documenting your journey across the Death Valley park. You will see different sights on your journey, and add cherished memories to your scrapbook. The player who amasses the most points by the end of the game is the winner! To setup for a game, shuffle the deck of Feature cards and reveal one face-up while the rest remain in a face-down deck. These cards make up the Desert. That’s it. The game is ready to start! Choose a starting player and get to sight-seeing!

Throughout the game, players will be adding Feature cards to their Journey tableau (places they have visited) and their Scrapbook tableau (the more memorable locations). On your turn, you will perform one of 2 actions: Travel or Rest. When you choose to Travel, you will select either the Feature card from the Desert (the face-up card), or draw the top card from the face-down deck and add it to your Journey. Conversely, when you choose to Rest, you will move a Feature card from your Journey into your Scrapbook. When moving Feature cards to your Scrapbook, you are allowed to hide other cards from your Journey underneath that card. Hiding cards can be beneficial for end-game points, or for preventing you from Busting. Many Feature cards have additional text at the bottom, that either provides ongoing abilities for the remainder of the game, or that provide extra scoring abilities at the end of the game. Choosing which Feature cards to move when and where is key!


After you have performed your chosen Action, you check to see if you Bust. If you have 3 Feature cards of the same type in your Journey and Scrapbook, you Bust! To resolve a Bust, you will discard from the game the right-most card in your Journey, and then will re-shuffle any remaining Journey cards back into the draw deck. So there’s a small element of push-your-luck in here! Once you resolve a Bust (if necessary), you will refresh the Desert – reveal a new face-up card if you just took the face-up card this turn. Your turn then ends, and play moves to your opponent. The game continues in this fashion, with players drawing/placing/moving Feature cards in their 2 tableaus, until only 1 card remains in the Desert. Points are then tallied: 1 point per Star on cards visible in your Journey, and points based on the extra scoring abilities of cards in your Journey and/or Scrapbook. The player with the highest score is declared the winner!

So, let’s get into this gameplay. For being a 2-player game, I appreciate that it’s not necessarily directly competitive. Yes, you want to score more points at the end of the game, but there really isn’t any player interaction, which keeps the energy level of the game more low-key. That being said, it’s decently strategic. Some Feature cards provide on-going abilities that can be used throughout the game, and can help you get some benefit out of a Bust. Certain card abilities rely on adjacency of other cards, so you have to know when/where to place a card to get the most points for the end of the game. That being said, you also have to make sure you don’t Bust. Luckily, you don’t resolve/check for a Bust until after you have performed your action, so perhaps you are able to sneak by with some clever planning. One part of the gameplay that misses the mark for me is the fact that you can only perform 1 Action per turn. I feel like that can really inhibit your ability to strategize, and makes it difficult to feel like you’re accomplishing something on your turns. Maybe if players had to perform both Actions per turn (either Travel/Rest, or vice versa), it would offer a few more options in terms of strategy. I just personally feel like taking only 1 Action per turn makes the gameplay a little too choppy, and makes it hard to really get into – especially when the game itself is so short. Maybe I’m not thinking strategically enough, but these are my thoughts thus far with Death Valley!

Components. As to be expected from ButtonShy – excellent quality of the cards and wallet. The artwork is colorful and thematic, and I just like looking at the different locations represented in the game. This game is satisfying to look at, and it earns high marks from me. Another neat thing? Each Feature card has a little interesting fact about its location, so you can learn a neat tidbit while playing the game!

Nothing can really compare to seeing Death Valley in person, but this game does offer a nice representation. The beauty of the location artwork coupled with the interesting facts has me intrigued outside of the game itself. The gameplay isn’t necessarily a home-run in my eyes, but it is strategic enough that I know I’ll keep pulling this one out from time to time. There is a solo mode, as well as a variant to give you more of a press-your-luck element, and I will definitely be trying those to see if they change my thoughts on this game. But for the time being, Purple Phoenix Games gives Death Valley a singed 4 / 6.
  
It&#039;s a Wonderful World
It's a Wonderful World
2019 | Card Game, Civilization, Economic, Science Fiction
When choosing board games to either play or purchase, how much importance should one put on box cover art? It is important to ME, but I lump that all in with the components and art/art style of the whole package. Why do I bring this up in the intro today? Well, I have to admit that I had really not had any interest in checking out It’s a Wonderful World until now because I judged the game by its cover, and the cover art told my brain that this would be some type of wargame. I am not entirely sure how I connected the two, but I did, and it turned me off right away. But! I was able to get this played at a local board game lounge, and boy was I wrong.

It’s a Wonderful World is a card drafting, economic, civilization building game with variable player powers (with a dash of campaign mode sprinkled on top). In it, players are attempting to build their civilization faster and better than their competitors. However, for this review, I will be playing the vanilla non-scenario solo mode.

DISCLAIMER: I was able to play this and several other games at The Table in Cookeville, TN. If you are ever in the neighborhood, check them out, and tell Nathaniel that I say hello.


To setup, put together the main board and place the round marker on Round 1. Lay out all the resources on their specific places upon the board and shuffle the deck of cards. Deal out eight stacks of five cards each and place them as mini-decks somewhere on the table. Choose a starting civilization (or just randomly choose one). The solo game is ready to play!
Typically, It’s a Wonderful World is a card drafting game, a la 7 Wonders, where players choose one card from the deck passed to them and pass it along to the next player until all cards have been drafted. In the solo mode, however, the player chooses one of the face-down mini-decks as their starting hand. Upon viewing the cards, the player may choose to place any or all of them in their Construction Area, or discard the cards for their Recycle Bonus (typically a type of resource), and/or discard two card from the mini-deck to draw five cards from the top of the main deck. From these drawn cards, the player may choose one to keep and discard all others. The kept card may be placed into the Construction Area or discarded for its Recycle Bonus resource.

Cards placed in the Construction Area require resources to be earned and placed on them in order to complete its build process. Each round the player will receive resources based on which cards have been built and placed above their starting civ card. Some cards, once completely built, will also offer more VP at game end, or supply a VP modifier.


After the first mini-deck has been played completely, the player will choose a second mini-deck and run through the same process. After this second mini-deck has been completed the round ends and play moves to the next round. Play continues in this fashion until all four rounds have been played (so all eight mini-decks). At game end the player counts up all their VP and compares it to the table in the rulebook to arrive at their final tier. My first game resulted in the rulebook calling me a Rooky. So be prepared to be humiliated by a rulebook.

Components. Aside from being bamboozled by the aggressive artwork on the cover, this is not a wargame. In fact, I very much like the artwork and the styling of this game. The cards are all laid out very well, and the iconography makes sense. The resource cubes are translucent colored (except the grayish white is opaque) and are fine quality. Overall the components are great and the art style has grown on me quite a bit.

I can see why so many people compare this to 7 Wonders. Essentially, the multiplayer game is quite similar. Card drafts (of 7 cards, no less) lead to needing resources in order to build, lead to being able to produce more resources to fuel other cards, and bonus points are awarded for having a nice card profile. Now, this being a solo review, I have to say that I much prefer It’s a Wonderful World to its forefather 7 Wonders because it comes packaged with a solo mode already in the box. This isn’t the only reason I prefer it, though. I find it easier to pick up and easier to teach to beginning gamers. Also, there is no card chaining, which seems to be a difficult concept for newer gamers to grasp initially. It’s a Wonderful World has nothing like this, and cards just work. 7 Wonders has been such a hit with my family, and I know they will greatly appreciate a more streamlined game experience with this one.

So here’s my recommendation with this one. If you are a fan of 7 Wonders but find it to be difficult to get others into it, check out It’s a Wonderful World. I feel that it is superior in many ways, and the solo mode is just icing. The solo mode gives me a great play experience, even though I typically am not a fan of games challenging you to beat your own high score. I will live with it here because the game is just so enjoyable. While 7 Wonders was my favorite game of all time for quite a while, it has since dropped out of my Top 10, and I think will be replaced entirely by It’s a Wonderful World. If your tastes are similar to mine, then do yourself a big favor and grab a copy of this one right away. It has several expansions out there, and I believe you will fall in love with drafting again. Now, where did I put my Wind Turbines…
  
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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Gerald's Game (2017) in Movies

Oct 13, 2017 (Updated Oct 13, 2017)  
Gerald&#039;s Game (2017)
Gerald's Game (2017)
2017 | Horror
Top Notch Performances. (1 more)
Effective Scares.
Hard To Watch, Yet Impossible To Turn Away
Contains spoilers, click to show
After being underwhelmed by the major blockbuster release of IT, I didn’t have much hope for this small Netflix movie with a limited cast, a low budget and being an adaption of what is regarded as one of Stephen King’s lesser works. I am happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised when I sat down to watch this one, in fact I’d go as far as to say it blew me away.

This is a movie that lives and dies on the performances of the actors involved. For those of you not familiar with the story’s premise, it involves a married couple driving out to a holiday cottage in the woods for a dirty weekend. The couple is played by Carla Gugino, (Jessie,) and Bruce Greenwood, (Gerald,) who both totally nail their respective roles in the movie. Once they get to the cottage and the door is conveniently left ajar, Gerald handcuffs Jessie to the bed and goes to the bathroom to pop a Viagra. Once he comes back and explains how he has made sure the gardeners and the cleaners won’t disturb them for a few days, he takes a heart attack and collapses onto the floor and dies.

From this point on, Carla Gugino spends the vast majority of the movie handcuffed to the bed and she gives an absolutely stellar performance, possibly the best of her career. She goes though a vast array of emotions in convincing, believable form and shows everything, from despair, to sadness, to anger, to fear, to resilience. I don’t think anyone has ever been Oscar nominated for a straight-to-Netflix movie, but if there is one performance that deserves to be, it is this one.

If you haven’t seen the movie yet, please don’t read on past this point as I am going to have to delve into spoilers in order to discuss the other aspects of the movie that I enjoyed. I thought the way that Gerald appeared to Jessie as a sort of devil on her shoulder was really effective and Greenwood delivered the required level of intense cruelty perfectly. Then the fact that Jessie appeared to herself as a sort of angel on the shoulder to oppose Gerald’s negative thoughts, meant that Gugino was required to deliver a dual character performance, on top of the already challenging role of being chained to the bed.

Flashback sequences in movies can go either way for me. They usually either tend to detract from the story at hand and become an unnecessary tangent, or they compliment what is going on and add to the movie overall. Thankfully in this movie, it is the latter. The flashback scenes are uncomfortable and hard to watch, but they do add context to what is going on in the character’s mind and make for a more interesting dissection of the effect that child abuse can have on a person in later life and how psychologically, even as adults people are still affected by the dreadful things that occurred in their past.

I also thought that this film was extremely effective in terms of its fear factor. As opposed to IT, which was scary at the start, but became repetitive and managed to desensitise its audience for what to expect by the halfway mark, Gerald’s game retains an unpredictable level of uneasiness throughout.

As far as the viewer knows during the first half of the movie, the main conflict facing the protagonist is starvation and the dog that is gnawing on Gerald’s dead body, but then things take a much more sinister turn. In what is possibly the creepiest scene I have seen in a movie this year, Jessie wakes up during the night after passing out for a few hours and she looks into the corner of the room, squinting her eyes. The camera follows where she is looking and the general shape of something can be made out. Then the shape begins to move forwards into the moonlight and is revealed to be a huge, deformed man holding a trinket box. This was so unexpected and freaky, and I loved it. I thought it was so effective in the context of the movie and was executed perfectly to be as disturbing as possible. It is also a relatable scare, as we have all experienced that moment; glancing at the corner of the room, something catches our eye and looks off in the darkness, but you just brush it off and fall back asleep. Jessie’s worst fears are confirmed here though, as she really did see something in the corner of the room and she is helpless to get away from it.

It also throws a twist into a story that has so far been based in what could be a real situation. You start to wonder, is Jessie experiencing something supernatural, or is she just hallucinating due to lack of food and water? Then the Gerald hallucination asks her if ‘The Moonlight Man,’ that she saw isn’t real, then why did the dog run away when he was in the room? Just like Jessie, the audience starts to wonder if he could be real, perhaps he is death and he has come to take Jessie to hell. All of these questions add to the already intense and disturbing tone of the movie and I thought it worked perfectly.

Eventually the movie wraps up with Jessie having an epiphany that if she smashes the glass of water and cuts her wrist, the blood can help her slip her hand out of the cuffs. What follows is a gory, brutal, difficult to watch de-gloving scene that will have you wincing and watching through your fingers. Then in true Stephen King fashion, the movie goes on to reveal another twist. It is revealed that ‘The Moonlight Man,’ really was in the room with Jessie. He was a serial killer that collected various body parts form dead people and he was taking parts from Gerald’s body while Jessie was chained to the bed. I can see why this ending could be polarizing for some, but I loved it and I thought it added an extra layer of craziness to the already insane sequence of events that we just witnessed.

Overall, Gerald’s Game is fantastic. A truly unsettling, chilling Stephen King adaption that showcases fantastic performances from its cast, makes the most of its minimal setting and managed to creep me out way more than any other horror movie I have seen this year.
  
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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) in Movies

Jul 19, 2017 (Updated Apr 16, 2021)  
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)
2016 | Action, Sci-Fi
80's setting (2 more)
Quicksilver
Oscar Isaacs
Inconsistent Tone (0 more)
Mutants Have Mankind Divided
This movie has had the most mixed reaction that I have seen since Batman V Superman, however I do objectively believe that X Men is a better movie and to be honest I don’t understand the mixed response Apocalypse has gotten. The year is 1983, 10 years after the last x men movie, Days Of Future Past (as in the kind of 10 years where no one ages a day,) and we know that it is 1983 because some of the young mutants go and see Return Of The Jedi in the cinema. The hairstyles and fashion statements are suitably 80’s, which is an appropriate motif to choose as it adds a more comic book feel to the movie and forces it to stick to a brighter colour pallet than some of the previous X men outings. Another positive is the return of Quicksilver, who has another awesome slow motion scene, which possibly isn’t as well choreographed as the one in DOFP, but is definitely grander in scale. While the design of Apocalypse in this movie has been heavily criticised, I didn’t feel that it took me out of the movie and I felt that Oscar Isaacs’ portrayal of the ancient mutant is another great turn by the actor and proves yet again how diverse and chameleon like he really is. The one downside of his character is that he has been significantly nerfed in terms of his powers here. He does feel powerful, but never overwhelmingly so and when the final confrontation does take place, it feels like he is holding back. This could be explained in a contrived manner by saying that he doesn’t want to kill mutants, because they are all his children, but if the success of his plan depends on it then he shouldn’t even hesitate, he should just wipe all the X Men out in an instant like we know he can.

The tone is another issue I have with the movie, it is fairly inconsistent throughout and never reaches the level of threat that it is aiming for. However, this is through no fault of the cast or the performances. MacAvoy and Fassbender stand out here as you would expect, their relationship also remains one of the most interesting parts of the plot. Isaacs’ performance is also suitably threatening and sinister, the only thing lacking in his character other than the odd design choice, is how short he is next to the other mutants. He doesn’t have to be huge like in the comics and cartoons, but making him a little bit more physically imposing with clever camera tricks would have went a long way in adding to the character. Jennifer Lawrence is fine here as usual and young Cyclops and Jean Grey are perfectly serviceable, although Sophie Turner’s American accent does come and go in certain scenes. Even Peters is typically brilliant as Quicksilver and the actress who plays Storm here is also pretty convincing, as is the young English actor who plays Angel. Nightcrawler is a welcome addition to the roster as I feel that he has been criminally underused since the second X Men movie and his power set is definitely one of the most interesting in all of the X Men movies, also the actor playing him here does a good job throughout the film. However the same can’t be said for Olivia Munn who plays Psylocke in this movie, I have disliked this actress in every role I have seen her in to date and the same goes for this one, she brings nothing to the movie and she constantly has a resting bitch face that suggests she doesn’t want to be there.

Like Civil War, X Men wasn’t anything like the comic it was based on and we didn’t get what we expected, but what we did end up getting was fresh and entertaining in it’s own right, so it’s okay that the film plots aren’t 100% faithful to the source material and that is something that Singer has been preaching since he made the first X Men movie back in 2001, which incidentally wasn’t based on any comic book and was a totally original plot. Also I love how because of the alternate timeline they are now free to do whatever they want in terms of the timing of certain events. For example, (and this is a slight spoiler, but the movie has been out for a while now so deal with it,) the Phoenix Force makes an appearance in this movie, which typically isn’t something that Jean Grey acquires until later in her life. Also the fact that we saw Wolverine escaping from Weapon X again, (again spoilers but this was in the trailers anyway so again, deal with it,) was awesome and this time we saw him being broken out by the young X Men and this time he had the comic book accurate electric headgear on while he escaped and I also loved how we saw him interact with young Jean Grey and regain some of his memories. This could also could be a change in the timeline caused by the butterfly effect as a result of the events of Days Of Future Past. This would also explain why the Magneto/Quicksilver, father/son relationship has never been discussed before, because if Apocalypse never awakened in the original X Men trilogy, then Quicksilver would have never went to the X Men mansion and therefore wouldn’t have come into contact with his dad during the final battle scene. Also Mystique looks like she is now a member and potential leader of the X Men team, rather than an enemy of the team like she was in the original movies when she was played by Rebecca Romjin. The other big change in the timeline is the death of Magneto’s family and even the fact that he had a wife and another child besides Quicksilver and Scarlett Witch.

Overall I really enjoyed this movie, however I can also see why some people would take a disliking to it, as it does require a good amount of previous knowledge of the universe, but as an X Men fan, I loved it. Also another criticism I have read is that people aren’t happy with the length of the film, stating that it is too long and it drags in, but I actually thought the pacing was spot on. Anyway as an X Men fan, I loved my time would this movie and I look forward to seeing it again and I’d recommend it to anyone who is a mutant superhero fan.